散养Pie

有一种霸凌，不留伤痕，不留证据，甚至连被霸凌的孩子自己都说不清楚发生了什么。这一期，我想聊聊"隐性霸凌"——为什么它比肢体霸凌更难被发现，伤害却更深远。作为在澳洲小学工作多年的教育者，我见过太多孩子在沉默中积累情绪，直到某一天突然爆发，所有人都以为是"他的问题"。如果你的孩子最近突然变得不想上学、情绪不稳定、或者莫名地"失控"——这期节目可能给你一个不一样的角度去思考孩子行为变化的可能原因。这期我们聊了：· 什么才算霸凌？一次冲突和霸凌的区别· 霸凌的种类：从肢体到社交排斥· 隐性霸凌为什么最难被发现· 真实案例：情绪控制有问题的孩子如何成了老师眼中的"施暴者"· 家长怎么发现孩子被霸凌的信号· 家里从没机会说"不"的孩子，在外面也不敢反抗霸凌· "打回去"——你的孩子敢吗？· 真实案例：平时最乖的孩子为什么突然砸了别人的饭盒· 寻求帮助不是软弱，是勇气关于散养Pie： 散养Pie是一个为澳洲华人家长而做的播客。主理人Li是澳洲小学教师、悉尼大学教育学博士，研究方向为儿童社会情感发展与归属感。看见孩子，也看见自己。

This is Part 2 of my conversation with Joy — the first guest on 100 Child Voice. In Part 1 we talked about emotions, trust, and what children really need from their parents. This time, we go into her social world.We talk about social media — not from an adult perspective, but from a teenager who lives in it every day. We talk about what happens when you're scrolling through everyone else's perfect life and you weren't even invited. We talk about the kind of bullying that doesn't leave bruises but still does damage. And we talk about why most kids choose not to tell anyone.We cover:How social media creates insecurities — seeing everyone's lives through a screen and picturing them in an "impossible perfect way"The fake persona teenagers build online and why they do itWhat teenagers actually miss vs wouldn't miss if social media disappeared tomorrowThe Australian social media ban — is it working? (Joy says no)What it feels like to be left out and watch everyone post about the party you weren't invited toThe popularity contest — what teenagers do to fit in, including getting in trouble with police and using substancesWhether that kind of belonging is real belonging (Joy says no)The everyday bullying that's harder to name — name calling, teasing, quietly excluding someoneWhy covert bullying happens more than physical bullying but gets taken less seriouslyWhat happens when you report it — "you're considered an overreactor or a liar"Why kids stop telling teachers and parents about bullyingWhat teachers actually see vs what they missThe difference between boys and girls in friendship conflictWhy groups of three always seem to end in two fighting over oneSome things Joy said that stayed with me:"We create our own insecurities through that.""You would have this fake persona online which just seems so great. But in reality you could be struggling really bad and no one would know.""It builds up this sense of not belonging.""If you say something about it, it doesn't count as bullying and you're considered an overreactor or a liar.""They're just scared it's going to escalate instead of de-escalating it if they tell an adult.""Some teachers just don't think something that bad could happen to someone this small.""Most of the times parents have no idea."If you haven't listened to Part 1, go back and start there — we talked about emotional validation, the wall children build when their feelings get brushed off, and what Joy calls "stable ground."

SHOW NOTESThis is the first episode of 100 Child Voice — a series where I sit down with children and teenagers and just listen. I want to hear how they actually see the world.Joy is my first guest. She's a teenager who grew up in Australia — observant, thoughtful, and much more self-aware than most adults I know. In this conversation, we talk about what's really going on inside young people's heads that adults don't see.We cover:Why Joy calls herself an overthinker, and what that actually feels likeWhat her generation wishes adults understood about mental healthWhat happens when a child's feelings get brushed off by their parentsThe wall children build inside when their emotions are invalidated — and why they eventually stop talking to youThe fake mask: how teenagers perform emotions they don't feelWhat children actually need from their parents (Joy calls it "stable ground")The difference between giving advice and controlling your childWhy Joy says "a child has way more imagination than a parent does — they just need to be out of the cage"Why she's scared for her generation to become parentsThe one thing she'd tell every parentHer message to any teenager going through something right nowSome things Joy said that stayed with me:"They probably felt like they did something wrong to make them feel this way.""They start to build up this wall inside where they won't share anything.""If you as a parent you're constantly on your phone while your child's trying to talk to you, it slowly builds a barrier in between the trust.""Controlling parents create rebellious kids. They just want to break out of this shell.""It's okay to be afraid and it's okay to speak up. Letting go of the idea of being trapped inside your own body is so much better."This is Part 1 of my conversation with Joy. In Part 2, we talk about social media, belonging, and the kind of bullying that's harder to name.100 Child Voice is a project by 散养Pie × The Connected Child.

内容简介Lyn，21岁带着两千美金和两个行李箱来到澳洲。毕业、结婚、意外怀孕，做了几年全职太太——同时承担着前夫公司所有的账务和文件工作，但在所有人眼里，她只是个"在家带孩子的"。前夫的一场车祸，改变了婚姻的走向。分居时小女儿才一两岁，离婚时三岁。之后那三年，她一边带两个年幼的女儿，一边同时打三份casual，把工作时间掐在送孩子和接孩子之间，孩子睡了才开始备考CPA。两周掉了八公斤——她后来才意识到，那是抑郁的症状。但她说，那三年是她人生最精彩的三年。再婚之后，她成了三个孩子的妈妈：两个亲生女儿，加上先生带来的儿子。同一个屋檐下，两种截然不同的育儿方式，养出了三个走向完全不同的年轻人。这期节目里，她毫不回避地聊了这件事。我们还聊到：她那套"社会是狩猎场"的育儿哲学，私校和公校的真实体验，怎么跟青春期的女儿谈初恋，以及她认为自己育儿上做得最好的一件事——哪怕心里万匹草泥马的时候，表面也是云淡风轻。本期关键词意外怀孕 · 离婚与重建 · 单亲妈妈 · 自爱 · 重组家庭 · 育儿哲学 · 私校vs公校 · 亲子信任 · 青春期 · 不后悔章节目录个人成长与自我探索单亲妈妈如何走出困境育儿理念与方式继父母角色的挑战青少年的自主决策父母的情绪与冲突处理育儿方式与信任育儿路上的挑战私校还是公校：她的真实体验如果重来一次，她会做什么不一样她认为自己做得最好的一件事