Podcast: Dark Elevation

On this one: which member of the DDT roster hates landlords the most? What does Matt Taven think a trend is? Why do I hate islands so much? I have few answers, and many more questions.

On this episode, I'm worried about Lee Moriarty's gear loops, if Action Andretti has a Karate Chop function, and why AEW should do more tie-ins with movies people already like.

On this one, we wonder if Marina Shafir improves her submission with sweaty sock feet, if Stokely Hathaway can make me beloved in Kansas City, and how much I know about West African geography. Plus: WRESTLEMANIA Predictions!

I know ya missed it so I'm back at it with some more important questions. Should Brian Cage train to be a mime? If you cause Brooke Havok will the department of wildlife arrest you? Is it okay to admit I'm a habitual Nemeth head? All this and more!

On this one: Trying to be angry while also ROCK HARD, booking Julia Hart vs. Brandon Cutler, and another appearance from Geography Jones. 

On this one: Powerhouse Hobbs is probably great at giving hugs, Madison Rayne should have a big bag of sunflower seeds, and my very nice podcast gets its first person on the sh*t list! Tune in! #AEW #AEWDark #AEWDynamite

On this week's episode we talk about why nobody on The Office should be a wrestler, why Britt Baker's nose is always bleeding, and a heartfelt plea to not make Tony Deppen change in a broom closet.  

I've got a lot of opinions on this one. One is about what cities count as "nearly Canada." Another is that Leva Bates could really help with circulation for The Book of Hobbs. And most controversially, I try to implement a "One Jeans Guy" rule that will never fly. Tune in for more fun! 

Happy New Year! We start this one off with some good stuff and important points, like what would happen if you brought Chaos Project to a bar, why Frankie Kazarian is kind of like the Pokemon Lugia, and why we must consider the weight and importance of every pickle joke. I promise this will make sense! 

This is a very women heavy episode and we love to see it! I decide that Ruby and Willow should be called “The Funaways”, why Mafiosa needs a family name and how Fuego Del Sol is basically Sally Field

On this special listenable episode I imagine Top Flight and Konosuke Takeshita eating Jucy Lucys together, getting your wrestling name from FLOTUS mashups, and also I really hope that Parker Boudreaux doesn't kick my ass! 

Quick one here for what was a pretty uneventful episode. But we talk about the important stuff, like how Ari Daivari should be able to afford a better lawyer than Mark Sterling and how Vertvixen commits comic villainy, and how holding "Winter Is Coming"  in Texas reminds us all of the woes of the power grid. 

Took a week off but now back at it with all your favs! Comparing Brian Cage to a mall kiosk that sells phone cases! Whether Top Flight could be bested by a tag team of air traffic controllers! Also: Is Orange Cassidy a Charmander? I say no! 

We’ve got a quick one because of the upcoming holiday but it still touches on important points like how Leva Bates might win more if she used Infinite Jest to cheat, what Karl Marx might’ve been like as a wrestler, and if there’s a gear above Full, like maybe 1.5 Gear. Check it out!

On this special 33rd (Larry Bird) episode of the show we address some important questions for #AEWFullGear. Like how Emi Sakura and I have always been friends, what types of documentaries Matt Menard should watch, and why it's so much fun to say "Little Mean Kathleen" #AEW #AEWDark #AEWDynamite 

This one has it all: getting hyped for this new Athena,  comparing Abadon to the Washington Wizards, speculating Rhett Titus's favorite nu metal group. Plus it definitely came out on time, I for sure didn't release it in the middle of #AEWDynamite #AEWDark #AEW

One this one, we discuss Preston Vance and Shawn Spears's numerical brinkmanship, how well Emi Sakura knows her 80s cartoons, and cyberbullying the mayor of Griff Garrison's hometown. #AEW #AEWDark #AEWDynamite.

Has to rush this one because of the early #AEWDynamite but some good stuff happens. Like I come up with the idea for an Old Timers Championship and I mention the Voros Twins had a match which is important for SEO reasons.

On this week’s episode we encounter the world’s least hairy Greek man, make guesses as to what The Acclaimed will rap about in Canada (Poutine, Drake, Rob Ford, Health Care) PLUS a look back on Dark #1 for the 3rd anniversary.

In this one I come up with a name for Tony Deppen fans (Deppenwolves) but find coming up with a name for Abadon fans to be much more difficult. Also: what would be the best food to use to distract Bryce Remsburg mid match? All this and more!

You’d think this one could be short on account of the short show, but I spent time trying to solve mental health AND racism so it went long. Also we discuss if Matt Sydal has interdimensional powers, if Sonny Kiss is trustworthy (or bustworthy?) and if there’s a wrestler with a Gwen Stefani gimmick (thankfully no)

Here with Grand Slam-ticipation I answer all the questions that really matter. Are Peacocks automatically qualified as freebirds? Do people think JD Drake is breaking child labor laws? How many other states does Maine touch? That and more!

After a two week hiatus (where nothing important happened in wrestling) we get back the real questions. Is Nick Comoroto antifa? Can Kip Sabian be a better wife guy? Is the women’s division a Shakespearean Tragedy? Let’s find out!

Lot going on in this episode, but most importantly we implicate Anna Jay AS in the Kennedy Assassination, speculate about how the Bulgarian language works, and whether jobbers in Denver have an advantage because of acclimation.

This is a longer episode about a less good set of Dark and Elevation, but hits on some good stuff like a special distinction shared by CM Punk and Charlette Renegade, why one of the “Rossi”s should go by “Martini” and I spoil the exact date that Konosuke Takeshita will return to AEW

In this one I fly my Ren Jones flag, tell give positive affirmations to the women’s trios, and wonder if “sports entertainer” is still funny now that they’ve dumped Vince McMahon at the bottom of a river?

Okay pretty tired for this one but I think I made some good points, about Willow Nightingale's popularity in Mali, why Jonathon Hudson should lean in to stealing valor, and what might appear on Nick Comoroto's resume. Check it out!

As we hit 1 full score of episodes; we approach many important subjects, like whether Ari Daivari does more due diligence than Elon Musk, and if Marina Shafir is doing something mean to Excalibur. Plus: I make a complaint that I think most people make in bad faith, but when I do it, it’s good!

Hey 19 (episodes)! In this one we discuss why Nyla Rose is like Paula Abdul, Griff Garrison winning the rights to the name Jungle Boy, and whether Jora Johl and Rush are aware they are in a faction together.

Well a lot of things happened on this episode! Most importantly I used a real microphone so it doesn’t sound like dogshit! But also I get very happy about Rosa-Miyu, suggest AEW should keep Logan Laroux in their back pocket and also explain Vince McMahon wants to kill the joy of a Colin Delaney appearance.

On this one I talk about how if you have Hikaru Shida, you should have a plan for Hikaru Shida, speculate about Mark Henry’s knowledge and intake of lobster rolls, and explain why you wouldn’t want to be in a pit with Abadon (kinda self explanatory though)

The Forbidden Door is dead-bolted closed! We are moving on to new stuff, like how I appreciate when wrestlers I don’t know put their name on their ass and also somehow I end up making this about a United Ireland. Plus: what do Wheeler Yuta and Wardlow have in common? Tune in to find out! I don’t know why this ended like local news teaser!

On this episode, I’m still way into Serena Deeb and Mercedes Martinez, wonder if Brock Anderson is blond enough to go varsity, and make a very clumsy comparison between Vary Morales and Isaiah Thomas

Okay so I really liked these episodes! Here we talk about how I’d like to see the Wasteland establish a women’s tag scene, have some fun saying “Camaro Jackson” and warn you that a flying knee from Konosuke Takeshita could be about to hit you right now and you have no idea

On this episode not a lot happened, but Skye Blue, Serpentico and Dark Order formed a rather exclusive club, introduce “The Eddie Kingston TV Women’s Match Test” and assume that the Wingmen probably like sloppy steaks.

The Fallout To Double Or Nothing (doesn’t rhyme) gets analyzed through THREE Dark Episodes. I talk about how good Mercedes Martinez has looked, get inside the mind of a unknown trio who has to fight House of Black, and use an Anthony Ogogo match as an excuse to slander the British (who deserve it)

We’ve got a special one leading into Double Or Nothing. Of course we don’t discuss DoN too much, it’s more about praising Sonny Kiss, Lee Moriarty and AQA. Also, weirdly into booking The Bunny and wonder if Matt Menard is actually funny or just French Canadian

10! 10! 10! In this one I assume Tony Khan is trolling me with the Anna Jay tag matches, talk about why Amber Nova should be a big player in ROH, and discuss the inner mind of the average Floridian theme park goer.

This week I literally cannot come up with another thing to say about Dark Order but I have to 4 times! There’s also a long rant about Baddies and Tweeners, speculation about Max Caster’s lost rap, Owen predictions and more! Check it out!

On this episode I imagine the joy of chanting “Cheeseburger”, worry about Julia Hart’s autonomy, and pitch Paul Wight and Mark Henry as AEW’s Shaq and Charles Barkley. This and much more on this wonderful appetizer before AEW Dynamite.

On this episode I get very excited about Takeshita, lament Ruby Soho and Anna Jay treading water, and explain why Minoru Suzuki is going to kick your ass for disrespecting the YouTube shows.

We got Eddie Kingston back on commentary! Also Hardys, Tony Nese, Hobbs and Starks, Toni Storm, a bunch of wrestlers it’s a wrestling show do you want me to name them all?

Wow can you believe this is still going? Anyway we get some Jora Johl this week and some Teddy Goodz and Top Flight and also they stick in the women where they can! Pretty heavily leaned into talking about the tv shows this week if you’re into that!

We are having fun here right? This week has Leyla Hirsch, Paul White, Ruby Soho, Sonny Kiss, Abadon, all your favorites. Does including the names of beloved AEW stars in the description bring people to this show? Let’s find out!

Hey we’ve got another one!

Another try at summing up what happened on this week’s Dark episodes but I mostly just go on more rants and talk very little about what happens in the ring.