PolyAmateur Hour

If we keep saying "polyamory podcast" at the beginning of these descriptions, someday the robot overlords will believe it. But then we'll reveal our true demonic nature. On this episode: You know the answer beforehand when we ask "Monogamy RUOK?" of a bride who drafts the gen pop into her exclusive relationship with herself. Next, the 'cule fields an "Ask the Amateurs" from a Stubert who wants to know if they're a Laurel, a Daniel, or a Nichole-in-the-Middle when it comes to long-distance love. Finally, it's a "Poly in Public: Invasion of Privivacy" of the disturbingly common genre of polycule recruitment flyers on telephone poles. Go figure!

What did the Prophets of of Bajor say to the polyamory podcast? "Your PAH is strong." On this episode, Heidi Savell, she of Steady Polyamory, joins the 'cule for to the most practical of all "Practical Poly" segments. But... psychotherapy? On POLYAMATEUR HOUR? Don't worry. It's not a 50 minute hour. She sticks around to answer an "Ask the Amateurs" about how to switch from neutral into SEX GEAR. Came to the right place. But first! It's show tunes galore, on toe-tappin', finger-snappin' "Is This Poly" about all the wonderful girls who can't say no. 

2 parts polyamory, 1 part podcast and a dash of bitter(ness). On this episode: The polycule has strong opinions about everyone else's strong opinions about Lindy West's new book, which no one has read, on "That Wasn't a Question." They honor their elder gay Condor throuples on "Animal Magnetism." Long live Mike's Bird! RIP Big Gulp! Finally, it's time for a whole mess of affirmation bukkake on a very special "Spit Toasting" for Laurel's bestie. Let's hope she doesn't pass out.

You've discovered the polyamory podcast that invented hockey smut! Look it up. On this episode: the 'cule slides right into a "DM Sliders," featuring a Stubert from Liverpool and another subby 5-star review. Then! Break out the breakup candy! Nichole has a "Poly Mindfuck"  about her not realizing dudes are dumb. But is that her fault? No! That's where Daniel and Laurel intervene, turning Nichole's mea culpa into a proper "Bone to Pick." 

It's the only truly fistable polyamory podcast. You're welcome. On this episode: Dropout TV star Ify Nwadiwe phones in from London to out-chaos-muppet the chaos muppets. First! The 'cule baptizes him in the fetid waters of a "Unicorn Hunter Hunters" that starts with... a pledge of allegiance? Then! Ify sticks around for a "Monogamy RUOK" that rounds up the best of the worst reality TV dating shows to ever curdle the airwaves. Why? Why???? 

If a polyamory podcast airs in the forest, and there is no one there to hear it... that would be weird because the forest is where all the witchy poly people hang out. On this episode: The polycule declares a "Poly in Public: Invasion of Privivacy" for a surprisingly progressive make-believe mouse monarchy. Mx. Dahlia Belle sends an audio question for "Ask the Amateurs," exploring the difficulties of meta-on-meta conflict, and the advanced geometry of double penetration. Finally, in "Monogamy RUOK?" a new online huckster of unending listicles tells you how to get your ex back... from the ocean floor?

It's the top polyamory podcast among dirty little freaks. On this episode: The 'cule dials our friend/Stubert/novelty-sock-supplier in Brighton, UK, for a "My Own Poly Idaho" by the sea. Then, witness the rare "Bone to Pick" a la Daniel, telling the sad, sad story of men who blame men for the women who dump them. You know, because women must be getting their thoughts from somewhere. Also! We pen the new official anthem for the town of Brighton! Also, also! Nichole gets remixed TWICE — once for her baffled wonder and once for channeling all the rage of the Old Testament angels. 

The only polyamory podcast to win the elusive Reverse EGOT (banned from all major award ceremonies). On this episode: MONOGAMOUS comic Rachelle Cochran drops by in good faith, only to be subjected to an invasive round of "Compersion Therapy" — our new segment where the 'cule tries to turn monogs folks poly. Against her better interest, Rachelle sticks around for a "Unicorn Hunter Hunters" that explains why Oscars are more prestigious (waaaayyy better sex toys, obvi). But first! It's an "Ask the Amateurs" where the 'cule prescribes a hasty lowering of expectations for the Stubert. After all, they're already listening to this podcast. 

Oh... my... god, Becky, look at their polyamory podcast. On this episode: get your mail slots lubed for a "DM Sliders," where the polycule receives a great big package. Sure there's a "Poly Pyramid Scheme," but that's just when they ask you for stuff. The real attractions? A "Poly In Public: Invasion of Privivacy" packed with scintillating poly news and a "Unicorn Hunter Hunters: Scattershot" that pits two screaming relationship cops against America's Naked Grandparents. 

Taste the salted caramel polyamory and chocolate comedy ganache on our luscious podcast flan. On this episode: Educator and relationship coach Evita Sawyers, a.k.a. Lavitaloca, drops in for a "Practical Poly" on the nature of compersion. Spoiler: You can cultivate it, dummy. She sticks around for a session of "Monogamy RUOK" about how the monos strike fear into the hearts of their vict—  er, um... partners. But first! An "Ask the Amateurs" about finding time to bang. And afterwards! It's an "Animal Magnetism" about swinger belugas (in the deep blue sea, they swing so wild and they swing so free). 

Excuse us, but it looks as though you dropped your polyamory podcast. Allow us to bend over and retrieve it. *Receives goosing.* On this episode: It's Segment Inception! An "Ask the Amateurs" about cowgirling contains a "Normie Corner" about cowgirling, which contains a "Monogamy RUOK" about cowgirling, which contains a song about... cowgirling. There's an unrelated "Unicorn Hunter Hunters," too, just because we know you're depraved. 

Some say it's risky to listen to our polyamory podcast because you might contract a case of weird takes. On this episode: musician and activist Ryan Cassata shreds hard into the studio — dishing on the L.A. scene on "My Own Poly Idaho," playing TWO original songs, and asking "Is This Poly?!" of Mika's "It's My House," and Dodie's "In the Middle." And because we're generous lovers, we cap off the night with an "Ask the Amateurs" about spiritual, nature-minded straight men in mountain towns. You know, dirt bags. 

You don't have to be polyamorous to listen to our podcast. You DO have to be a great big weirdo. On this episode: The 'cule rounds up a glut of poly news for "Poly in Public: Invasion of Privivacy," including but not limited to the first use of the word "polycule" in Star Trek. Don't worry, they used it incorrectly. Then it's a good ol' fashioned "Ask the Amateurs" about everyone's favorite habit-forming bio-drug, New Relationship Energy. Finally, it's a Very Special Edition of "DM Sliders," featuring the return of Stubert-generated hockey smut. (We actually invented hockey smut WITH OUR MINDS.) 

But have you tried a polyamory podcast... on weeed? On this episode: The Most Famous Black Bisexual Comedian (*Probably on the West Coast) Ashley Ray joins us for "Monogamy, RUOK?" and devises a cheat code against a pastor's anti-cheating protocol. She sticks around to ask "Is This Poly?!" of the Futurama episode "The Beast With a Billion Backs." THE FUTURE IS POLY! But first! The 'cule offers a vicious amen to Nichole's "Bone to Pick" about a boy's bad picker and performative anguish. Oh, the humanity!

It's a polyamory podcast about as much as the United States is a democracy. On this episode: The 'cule pioneers a new segment for all of their opinions that no one has solicited: "That Was Not a Question." They serve up a "DM Sliders" for their inbox's X files and end up lost in the wilderness of ANOTHER new segment: "Between Two Pervs." They just can't stop innovating! Note: There are so many songs in this one. So. Many. Songs. 

Any cool points they get from being polyamorous are squandered by their having a podcast about it. On this episode: Daniel and Laurel roll out a new segment called "Sex Bits." Though come on — they've been doing this one for ages. Nichole shares a "Crazy Sexy Poly" about a visit to the Cancer Mall for a diagnosis of *shrugs* and is rewarded with the lollypop of a mono-poly "Ask the Amateurs." Everybody gangs up for a "Unicorn Hunter Hunters," setting their sights on a dating profile that's sending mixed messages — all of which are racist. And finally, there's a "Poly Pyramid Scheme" because we're needy. 

It's the polyamory-podcast chicken that hatched from the egg which she herself laid. Then we deep fry that chicken in a light batter. We call it a tempura paradox. Ahem. On this episode: Star of gay Scottish castle porn Rossy drops in to DIY a new segment called "Come on Our Show." The pod returns the favor, subjecting him to another inaugural segment: "Star Trek: Booty Roster." It's just what it sounds like. Finally they wrap things up with a good ol' fashioned "Unicorn Hunter Hunters," in which the swinger wives must meet on a bridge at dawn. Wait, what is Aaron Burr doing here? 

It's a polyamory schmear on a podcast bagel, with lox and capers. On this episode: the Monogamy Subreddit freaks out about celebrity crushes, and the 'cule crushes even harder, on "Monogamy RUOK." A Stubert asks why poly folks need so many labels, provoking Daniel to misquote Tolstoy (again!) on "Ask the Amateurs." And stop the presses! A piece of Dr. Phil smut has hit the inbox in time for an emergency session of "DM Sliders." But first! Witness the savagery of the Threagle when Wimpy Cancer threatens one of their own. NOT IN OUR NEST! 

What's better than a polyamory podcast? 69 installments of a polyamory podcast. On this very oral episode: Leanne Yau of @polyphiliablog crosses the pond for a "Practical Poly" about therapy, degradation kink, and the Zendayagram between. She sticks around for "Is This Poly?!" serving hot takes on Lily Allen's new diss ALBUM about "Stranger Things" star David Harbour. But first! The 'cule investigates the scandal of threagle erasure among the pigeon people on the long-awaited second edition of "Animal Magnetism." 

It's the polyamory podcast with hot singles. In the musical sense. On this episode: Houston's best and gayest rapper, Estevan the God, drops in to talk classic H-Town hip hop in a chopped and screwed edition of "Is This Poly?!" He sticks around to establish an all-new segment (based on ancient wisdom!) with "Ass-trological Whore-oscope." You're welcome.  

It's not the polyamory podcast you ordered — but it's the polyamory podcast you deserve. On this episode: Adult content creator and sex worker Poly! offers to do us, and our taxes, in an all-nude edition of "Practical Poly." (How would you know? It's audio!) But first! The 'cule responds to the news — and the diss track — from the Vatican in a very Pope-y edition of "Poly in Public: Invasion of Privivacy." Oh, and there's a "Poly Pyramid Scheme" about adding your dating-profile uniqueness to our own. Because we're thirsty like that. 

It's the only polyamory podcast that will confront the truth of Teddy Ruxpin's problematic turn to the right. On this episode: Comedian and rival variety show host Mack Lee drops in for a "Unicorn Hunter Hunters" featuring your surrogate swinger grandparents. But first! The 'cule try to get their needs met in a "Poly Pyramid Scheme." And before THAT?? They drop an accidental-on-purpose "Shit Daniel Does." For dessert, we get an "Ask the Amateurs" all about your hosts' exes. Ewwwww.

If you're close enough to be reading this, you're polyamorous — and you're on our podcast. On this episode: Jessica Daylover of Remodeled Love drops in for a "Practical Poly" that puts the Ohhhh in the Big Four Oh. She goes for another round, so to speak, in a synth-rich, 80s themed "Is This Poly?!" Witness our hairspray, smoke machines, and lasers! But first! Feast upon our amuse bouche of "DM Sliders," which is an actual tear jerker. And that's not even a dirty joke. 

That unnerving moon-faced polyamory podcast that you never knew you needed — and that you probably didn't. On this episode: Author Alex Alberto returns for a extra-literary "Is This Poly?!" — with Sally Rooney's Intermezzo in for questioning. But first! Nichole shares a "Poly Mindf**k" with the whole polycule as the recipient. A lot a songs in this one. Bring your dancin' shoes. 

The #1 polyamory podcast (by a metrics of puns per minute, inscrutable references, and loud pants). On this episode: Occasionally all-nude comic Joe John Sanchez III returns for a "Unicorn Hunter Hunters" that takes place mainly on a murder boat. But first! The 'cule extends an "Invitation to Love" to a couple for the very first time, asking, "Is there such thing as ethical consumption under, uhh, Unicornism?" 

OMG, everyone is polyamorous and everybody has a podcast. Sorry. On this episode: Our inaugural "Beef Up the Beef" segment produces a banger (and mash). Whatcha think about that, huh, Multiamory? Nichole puts the "poly" in "polycystic" on a special ER-themed "Crazy Sexy Poly." And the 'cule asks for MORE JAZZ in the dating profile on "Invitation to Love." You know what that means! BASS SOLO!!!!!!

It's a turd! It's a brain! It's a polyamory podcast! Sort of! On this episode: Comedian Joe John Sanchez III — one of the few superior sequels — drops in to ask and answer, "Monogamy RUOK?" But first, the 'cule acts all smart and sh*t after a night at the theater, discussing Noël Coward's "Design for Living" for "Is This Poly?!" And that's it. No third segment. But don't worry, there are two unhinged songs, and all the usual electrolytes that plants crave. 

You can learn a lot from polyamory podcasts. And you can forget it all, with ours. On this episode: Nichole and Laurel finally make it official: The "Shit Daniel Does" segment, that is. The 'cule risks litigation, and nausea, by suggesting that Dr. Phil lives a secret swinger life on "Poly in Public: Invasion of Privivacy." Finally, a Stubert provides real, sweat-soaked, barn-set hockey smut on "DM Sliders." These shin-pads were made for KNEELING.

It's the polyamory podcast that doesn't know what's good for it. On this episode: the incredible Mx. Dahlia Belle returns to the pod to peak the microphones with pure chaos — first on "Ask the Amateurs," and then on a the inaugural edition of "Unicorn Hunter Hunters: Scattershot." But first! Faced with continued silence to the north, the 'cule sends a "Reed Alert" across the pond — but not before insulting every available English-speaking nation. Even better? They open up the mail bag for the first time ever to let all the ghosts out on the first-ever installment of "DM Sliders." Oh, and they may just be starting a rap beef with the most world's most beloved polyamory podcast. Things happen! 

Psst. Looking for a polyamory podcast? Meet us in the alley. On this episode: Laurel starts off with a "Bone to Pick" and it NEVER ENDS. Seriously, this is just us talking mad sh*t for an hour, with some really fun songs. There's two, count 'em TWO, "Poly Mindf*cks," as well. But it's all part and parcel of the great big Bone to End All Bones. Open wide!

Polyamory podcasts come and go — but this one does only the former. On this episode: Brett Chamberlin, founder of OPEN (Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy), agrees to guest on the pod, despite our strongly worded warnings of chaos muppetry. You might think it's the most practical "Practical Poly" of all time — until we start talking about the Orgy Dome. But first! Sober Nichole does her best Drunk Nichole for the edition of "Monogamy RUOK" that needs you to take its keys. A Stubert asks about enmeshment on "Ask the Amateurs," and the 'cule repeats the word until it becomes a mishmash of mush in the mouth. Enhmernshmentsh. Ernmishmerths. Onmashmiths!

The polyamory podcast that will totally accept your parasocial codependency. On this episode: PolyAmateur Hour legend Michelle Hy — a.k.a. @polyamorouswhileasian — returns to kick off our new segment, "Animal Magnetism," and to cry about bird throuples. She sticks around — go figure! — for a round of "Unicorn Hunter Hunters" about a couple who would like to enjoy you, and pour into you, and to throw boats at you with their cannon arms. (You had to be there.) But first! The 'cule shares the first-ever audience-provided "Bone to Pick," and it's a nice thick Femur of Anger. 

It's the polyamory podcast that is now canonical Star Trek. On this episode: John effing Billingsley crashes/brings the party. Mr. Billingsley played Trek's only poly character, Dr. Phlox, on "Star Trek: Enterprise." He talks about that experience, and a million others, for "Practical Poly" — because he's PRACTICALLY poly? AS IF THAT WEREN'T ENOUGH, the 'cule then explores the world of hockey smut (???) on "Monogamy RUOK?" Please help us with this one, Canada. 

It's the polyamory podcast with the Poly Green Giant mascot. On this episode: A double-header "Poly in Public: Invasion of Privivacy" starts a poly-news cage match between the Guardian and the New York Post. Everyone loses. The 'cule gives a twenty-one nut salute in our first-ever Stubert-aroused edition of "Spit Toasting." And a Nichole's friend puts Daniel and Laurel on the wedding waitlist on "Crazy Sexy Poly." Bonus: a basic bitch of a "Poly Pyramid Scheme," and double-sided hit single with "Calendar in My Mind" and "Labor Dog." 

Stay polyamorous, podcasts. One this episode: The 'cule confronts a "Unicorn Hunter Hunters" that winks with both eyes. A Stubert has a couple goofy questions for a couple goofuses on "Asks the Amateurs." And Laurel has a "Bone to Pick" with boys who wear therapy like a merit badge. 

It's the polyamory podcast that's actually about musical theater or Star Trek or... we don't even know any more. On this episode: Laurel shares a "Crazy Sexy Poly" about breaking up with a little help from your friends. Nichole shares an "Ask the Amateurs" about kitchen table poly — but sings an operetta for the cause of Communist Party poly. Daniel brings the vinyl for a '60s themed "Is This Poly?!" Then everyone goes to sleep early. 

This is not the poly podcast we wanted, but it's the poly podcast we deserve. On this episode: The 'cule opens a cultural coffin called Reddit for a self-answering edition of "Monogamy, RUOK?" The undeniable Annie Undone returns to the pod, demanding fealty to her mental calendar on "Ask the Amateurs." She sticks around, shockingly, for a extra-methy edition "Unicorn Hunter Hunters" that has never washed those jeans. 

It's our 50th episode! It's our first ep recorded on location at Star Trek Las Vegas! It's the return of the great Wynde Priddy of The Greatest Generation! It has more music than we should have responsibly tried to make in one week! And it's a PODCAST about POLYAMORY — so that's two reasons why we're not wearing pants. On this episode: The 'cule tells the story of Dean, the Boomer Uberist who knows how to fix the houselessness crisis — and everything else — on "Crazy Sexy Poly." Special Guest Wynde Priddy goes gooey for Odo on a Deep Space 9 edition of "Is Star Trek Poly?!" And canonical FOD Defested wows us with tales of Wisconsin, and his booming baritone, on "My Own Poly Idaho." Wow. That's a lot. 

It's a polyamory podcast in the same way that Galaxy Quest is a Star Trek movie. On this episode: Laurel has a "Bone to Pick" with perimenopause, a.k.a. Perry Menopause — everyone's least favorite drag king. Alex Alberto, author of "Entwined," shows up to rep the French-Canadian polyamorous accent on "Practical Poly." And the 'cule discusses the drawbacks of hookup middle-management on "Unicorn Hunter-Hunters."

It's the polyamory podcast that can't remember your name, even though you said it two minutes ago. On this episode: The 'cule discusses polygamous soft drinks and Ne-Yo's relationship pyramid on "Poly in Public: Invasion of Privivacy." A Stubert has a question for which all the answers are "therapy" on "Ask the Amateurs." And the Mayor of Polytown from Oregon's farmy side discusses the vital role of the Village Slut on "My Own Poly Idaho." Bonus: Daniel butchers the Finnish language on the latest "Reed Alert!"

It's the polyamory podcast that wears a funny hat. On this episode: The 'cule goes goes down the dark rabbit hole of American reality TV for "Monogamy, RUOK?" Rose Oser of the live poly dating game show "Poly Poly Oxen Free" reps the impractical side of "Practical Poly." The whole gang extends an "Invitation to Love" to an old-school Stubert. And this invitation reads... "SHOW. US. YOUR. GOOF."

It's the polyamory podcast that's weird at parties. On this episode: When Nichole has a "Bone to Pick," Daniel and Laurel chant, "Pick it harder!" The great Annie Undone is back for a special HPV-normalizing edition of "Ask the Amateurs." The 'cule gets the klezmer shimmies for a couple of '90s jams on "Is This Poly?!" 

It's the polyamory podcast that's too 'cule for school. On this episode: Comedian Mx. Dahlia Belle (featured in Hannah Gadsby's "Gender Agenda" on Netflix) joins the PolyAmateurs for the final boss of "Unicorn Hunter-Hunters," to talk bidets, and to finally deliver on our promise of being "the funny poly podcast." But first, Nichole helps Daniel and Laurel get illegally engaged — while keeping their poly street cred! — on "Crazy Sexy Poly." They even slip in a quick "Poly in Public: Invasion of Privivacy," while they're at it. They can't help but slip it in. Heh heh heh. 

It's THAT polyamory podcast. On this episode: The 'cule assesses an open marriage/multi-level marketing scheme on "Unicorn Hunter-Hunters." Courtney Brame stops by to actually do some good around here on "Practical Poly." A Stubert wants to know what to do about a two-year work crush on "Ask the Amateurs." And we close it out with a "Reed Alert" announcement of our slutty residency at Star Trek Las Vegas.

Not your mom's polyamory podcast. But...maybe also your mom's polyamory podcast. On this episode: The 'cule shares an oldie-but-scary in a "Story About Our Dogs" / "Crazy Sexy Poly" mashup. A Stubert needs come-down advice for a psychedelic NRE trip on "Ask the Amateurs." And an imaginary partner proves to be wonderfully real on a special pan-Europe edition of "My Own Poly Idaho." BONUS: A sexually charged Reddit roundup on "Poly Pyramid Scheme."

The polyamory podcast that needs a freakin' nap. On this episode: The 'cule will not bang them in a house, and will not bang them in a blouse on "Unicorn Hunter-Hunters." A Stubert asks how to disclose their sluttery when flirting in the wild on "Ask the Amateurs." A barber tells an epic not-really-poly poly story to a captive Daniel on "Poly in Public: Invasion of Privivacy." 

It's the polyamory podcast that thinks it could really do standup, but should probably keep its day job. On this episode: A Stubert from New York accepts the Amateurs "Invitation to Love," and receives a dating profile makeover he cannot return for credit. A Stubert from Down Under spends more type with her meta than her amour and needs the 'cule to tell her "Don't worry about it," on "Ask the Amateurs." Laurel brings in a jealous-of-ghost story for a Spooky Crisp edition of "Monogamy, R U OK?"

The weird little polyamory podcast that plants crave. This is THAT episode: Annie Undone out-chaos-muppets the chaos muppets as a specially deputized Van Helsing on an EPIC "Unicorn Hunter-Hunters." Then the 'cule does a quick "Reed Alert," and we're out. But you won't go away hungry. Slurp. 

It's a polyamory podcast AND a dessert topping. On this episode: Zoey reveals her toxic-monogamy colors on the inaugural installment of "A Story About Our Dogs." Nichole questions the very existence of dick on "Bone to Pick." Laurel shares a wholesome/unwholesome three-bears story on "Poly In Public: Invasion of Privivacy." The polycule gets railed by a extra-long question on "Ask the Amateurs." Daniel brings a loud-hat cult to the courtroom for "Unicorn Hunter-Hunters." 

It's the only polyamory comedy podcast you have to choose from. On this episode: The fantastic Sam Cat, creator of Shrimp Teeth, joins the 'cule for a session of "Practical Poly." She actually sticks around for "Ask the Amateurs," where a Stubert asks about our poly "aha moments." And she STILL hasn't bailed for "Is This Poly?!" despite our subjecting her to the seizure-inducing anime "100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really Love You."