Resurface

In Part 2 of our Medicaid waiver hearing recap, we read more direct quotes from the hearing transcript, including the moments that still do not make sense to us.This episode picks up where our last one left off. After losing in court, we are going through the actual exchanges from the hearing, including testimony from medical providers, arguments made about Mila’s needs, and the way her disability, epilepsy, brain injury, and daily care were discussed.Some parts are serious. Some parts are absurd. Some parts made us angry all over again.This is the final chapter of this part of the story before we move forward to the next level.We start out by doing what we always do, laughing as a form of comedic relief and trauma healing. We talk about:The state’s argument that Mila’s needs were behavioral or developmentalMedical testimony about her brain injury, epilepsy, and ongoing care needsThe claim that she “didn’t want to walk”Why supervision and hands-on care matter when a child is medically fragileWhat it felt like to put our daughter’s doctors on the standWhy we are still fightingThis is not legal advice or medical advice. This is our family’s experience, told in real time, with direct quotes from the hearing and our honest reactions as Mila’s parents.If you missed Part 1, watch it here: https://youtu.be/SNfBZO1XdQE?si=l_A6CBlqW76hSpEwIf you are parenting through stress, disability, medical uncertainty, or just trying to hold your family together while life keeps coming at you, this episode is for you.New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Threads: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects, parent a medically complex child and special needs child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still choose to love each other through the storm. And try to make you laugh while we do it. We are not a recovery story. We are a survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it.

In this episode of Resurface, we start the way we refuse to stop starting, with laughter, marriage banter, and another round of Agree or Disagree. We debate whether the higher earner should get more say over money, why “we need to talk” texts are morally wrong unless immediately explained, whether one parent should override the other’s discipline, and whether all men should know how to cook.Then the episode turns to the heart of it: an update on Mila’s CAP/C waiver hearing against NC DHHS. Rachel walks Stephen through key moments from the hearing, including medical testimony about Mila’s birth injury, her prolonged seizure with status epilepticus, her hearing loss, the state’s attempt to frame her needs as behavioral or developmental rather than medical, and the judge’s decision to dismiss the case before the state ever put on its own witnesses. Stephen reacts in real time as Rachel reads portions of the testimony, the judge's comments, and the state attorney's remarks. And, we both explain why we will keep going.This one moves from funny to furious to determined, because that is basically the Resurface brand: real life, very few polished edges, and the refusal to stop laughing even when the serious parts are very serious.If you are parenting through stress, disability, medical uncertainty, or just trying to hold your family together while life keeps coming at you, this episode is for you.New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Threads: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠Resurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects, parent a medically complex child and special needs child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still choose to love each other through the storm. And try to make you laugh while we do it. We are not a recovery story. We are a survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it.

This is about as raw and real as it gets - our daughter's hearing was denied. We will be back Tuesday with all of the details! New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Threads: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠Resurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects, parent a medically complex child and special needs child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still choose to love each other through the storm. And try to make you laugh while we do it. We are not a recovery story. We are a survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it.

In this episode we open with a round of fun and funny questions and answers. We then move into the main topic where we talk about parenting a child with complex needs, the emotional weight of advocacy, and what it feels like to keep functioning when the system keeps pushing back.We discuss speech therapy, medical and developmental concerns, CAP/C, and the reality of trying to help your child while also carrying the mental load of marriage, family life, and everything else that does not stop just because you are overwhelmed.This is a conversation about the parts people do not always see, the pressure, the fear, the second-guessing, and the strange mix of love, exhaustion, humor, and survival that can exist all at once.If you are parenting through stress, disability, medical uncertainty, or just trying to hold your family together while life keeps coming at you, this episode is for you.New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Threads: ⁠⁠https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠Resurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects, parent a medically complex child and special needs child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still choose to love each other through the storm. And try to make you laugh while we do it. We are not a recovery story. We are a survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it.

In this episode we open with a round of questions and answers. They we move into the topic, talking about Rachel's trauma response she didn't see coming when her brain thought everything was fine.Rachel talks about what it actually feels like when PTSD lives in your body instead of your thoughts, and how she recognized it as a trauma response.Then Rachel ends up in the ER herself with chest pain and a concerning EKG, and Stephen has a trigger of his own that neither of them expected. We talk about what it means to be two medical trauma survivors with our own lingering struggles.Stephen shares a major update from his new stroke doctor, including finally getting the speech therapy referral Rachel has been asking for since Birmingham, and yes: he says the words. The episode also gets honest about how stroke-related emotional dysregulation shows up in parenting, what it actually looks like, and what might actually help.Plus the stolen back massage clip is still out there and Rachel has opinions.New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Threads: ⁠https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcast⁠Resurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects, parent a medically complex child and special needs child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still choose to love each other through the storm. And try to make you laugh while we do it. We are not a recovery story. We are a survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it.00:00:00 Introduction and Easter update00:00:42 Would you find out the baby's sex or be surprised?00:04:06 What's the most impressive recipe you know?00:11:00 If Rachel wins at the Supreme Court, what does she get?00:14:18 What city exceeded your expectations?00:18:01 When your body knows what your brain won't admit00:26:08 Mila's procedure and Rachel's trauma response00:30:33 Stephen had a trigger too00:36:13 Rachel ends up in the ER00:36:49 Rachel was right: Stephen finally gets a speech therapy referral00:43:57 How the stroke has affected parenting00:51:02 The stolen back massage video update

Ten months ago, a doctor accused me of something awful and wrote it in our daughter's chart. I stayed silent. Today I'm speaking.Mila was four years old. She was six weeks out from her first seizure: status epilepticus that lasted at least 25 minutes.We were in the hospital for EEG monitoring during a medication wean when a neurologist asked me, to my face, why I wanted my daughter to have a seizure. Then she slammed the door and wrote it in the chart.This episode is everything that happened in that hospital room: what I saw on the EEG, what I did to fight for her care, what it cost me to stay silent for ten months, and why I finally stopped.If you have ever been dismissed, accused, or made to feel like advocating for your child or loved one carries risk, this episode is for you.New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠⁠⁠Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Threads: https://www.threads.com/@theresurfacepodcastResurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects, parent a medically complex child and special needs child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still choose to love each other through the storm. And try to make you laugh while we do it. We are not a recovery story. We are a survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it.0:00 Opening + agree or disagree6:22 Falling asleep during arguments + going to bed angry10:58 ChatGPT Pro vs Claude + Epic MyChart discussion20:45 Parenting humor: hair dye + paperwork burden25:29 Stephen signs off, shift to serious story26:01 Why I stayed silent for 10 months26:22 Mila’s history, HIE, and first seizure (status epilepticus)27:16 Hospital stay, EEG monitoring, and medication wean30:16 Infection, fever, and rising seizure risk32:53 Panic attack and hospital rounds34:29 Doctor dismisses EEG concerns36:41 “Why do you want your daughter to have a seizure?”37:19 Confrontation, door slam, and chart documentation39:44 “I will not touch this child’s head until the mother calms down”40:41 Reattaching EEG leads and advocating for care43:14 The doctor who helped45:42 Fear of CPS and why I stayed silent48:00 Working from the hospital under pressure49:54 Getting EEG records and calling Boston Children’s52:18 Dr. Pearl and building Mila’s medical record54:49 Second opinion and finally getting answers55:35 Transitioning care to Charlotte neurology56:11 What should have been explained58:02 Filing the complaint and correcting the record58:53 To parents who have been dismissed or accused1:00:15 I am still afraid to advocate

We're making a decision that can't be undone.In this episode we take you inside our visit to UNC Children's Cochlear Implant Center; what we learned, what surprised us, and the moment we realized we were finally in the right place. We talk through why we chose one ear at a time, what happens when a child wakes up from cochlear implant surgery without any hearing, and the fears we have.We also cover Mila's MRI and CT scan, a third set of ear tubes, four surgeries back to back, and what it means to be fighting a Medicaid denial at the same time all of this is happening.Plus the agree or disagree segment is back! Voicemails, rewatching shows, messy cars, and skipping showers as self care. Comedic relief is a must.If you are a medical mom, dad, or special needs parent, this podcast episode is for you and to you. Resurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects the world stopped asking about, parent a medically complex child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still show up and choose each other. And try to make you laugh while we do it. Not a recovery story. A survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it. New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠⁠Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

3 days before a court deadline, our daughter's lawyer left her case. In this episode, we talk about our fight with Medicaid, specifically CAP/C. We discuss the impact suddenly being left in the lurch has made, the upcoming battle ahead, and our fears about what this might mean. We will never stop fighting for our daughter, and fighting for her means we are also fighting for other children with invisible disabilities. If you are a medical mom, dad, or special needs parent, this podcast episode is for you and to you. Resurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects the world stopped asking about, parent a medically complex child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still show up and choose each other. And try to make you laugh while we do it. Not a recovery story. A survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it. New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: ⁠https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloads⁠Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

When two medical trauma survivors clash together and try to raise a family, it's not always easy. It's messy, complicated, emotional, and incredibly challenging. What happens when they do it on camera, in front of a microphone? From bank account anxiety, to PTSD's affect on our marriage, to a fun and funny round of agree or disagree, we sit down and hash things out as a married couple that still chooses each other each day. Resurface is the only podcast where two medical trauma survivors, each of us carrying invisible after effects the world stopped asking about, parent a medically complex child together, disagree about many things, almost fall apart, and still show up and choose each other. And try to make you laugh while we do it. Not a recovery story. A survival story. The wave hasn't passed. We're still in it. New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.Download your free Get Helped and Be Helped Checklist here: https://www.resurfacepodcast.com/downloadsFind us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

Life is chaotic. So first, we laugh. In this episode of Resurface, we move from comedic relief into the real dynamics of marriage, parenting, and raising children in a medically complex family. We talk about:• Marriage communication in chaotic seasons• Parenting multiple children with competing needs• Balancing structure and survival• Identity shifts in fatherhood and motherhood• Sibling dynamics in special needs families• Caregiver exhaustion• Finding humor when life feels overwhelmingThere’s a story in this episode that deserves its own space. And a current struggle we’re still actively figuring out.If you're navigating: Special needs parenting. Parenting siblings of a medically complex childMarriage in stressful seasonsCaregiver burnoutMarriage after trauma or medical crisisTrying to prioritize all of your children when one requires so much attention...You’re not alone.Follow Resurface for honest conversations about marriage, family, trauma, healing, and finding your footing again when life knocks you under the surface.New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠Find Hot Mess Express here: https://www.hotmessexpress.co/

48 hours after our last episode, we received another diagnosis about our daughter. This time, we are numb. We talk about the impact it has on her future, how doctors missed it for 5 years, and the impact it has on our marriage and family.This episode was not planned and is raw and real. We are a real life podcast. To hurt and heal alongside you. Follow Resurface for honest conversations about marriage, family, trauma, healing, and finding your footing again when life knocks you under the surface.New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.⁠⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

This wasn’t the episode we planned to record.We planned to film something completely different… and then an unexpected diagnosis changed that plan immediately.In this episode, we share what we learned from a recent neuropsychology evaluation, what it felt like to hear words like “unlikely” and “plateau,” and how that kind of information lands in a marriage.We talk honestly about fear.About grief.About advocacy.About what it means to love your child fiercely while refusing to let a prognosis define them.This conversation is raw, unplanned, and very real.Everything has changed.And somehow, so has our perspective.Follow Resurface for honest conversations about marriage, family, trauma, healing, and finding your footing again when life knocks you under the surface.New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.⁠⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠⁠

Rachel tells a story that makes Stephen look completely unhinged… then immediately admits the thing that actually makes her rage. What follows is laughter, disbelief, and a moment where joking turns into something more honest than expected.This episode of Resurface is unfiltered, funny, and real — the way conversations actually sound when you stop editing yourself.🎧 Topics in this episode:Everyday pet peeves (from minor annoyances to hard lines)Humor, hypocrisy, and moral whiplashSafety, rules, and why some things trigger rageHow couples react differently to the same frustrationsLaughing until it turns into cryingWhen a light conversation unexpectedly deepensIf you or someone you know is struggling with depression or dark thoughts, confidential help is available by calling or texting 988 (U.S.) or visiting findahelpline.com.Follow Resurface for honest conversations about marriage, family, trauma, healing, and finding your footing again when life knocks you under the surface.New episodes weekly on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast — and the community around it.⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠

In this episode of Resurface, Stephen and Rachel sit down to tell their story in their own words.After a viral clip of our content was taken out of context and spread online, followed by harsh commentary and assumptions, we open the episode by briefly addressing the misinformation, judgment, and online backlash they experienced. Then, we intentionally move away from the noise to do something more importantly: let listeners actually get to know us.We talk about their childhoods, how we met, the early years of our marriage, and the foundation of our relationship, long before medical trauma, caregiving, or life upheaval entered the picture. This episode is about context, humanity, and what’s lost when people are reduced to clips, comments, or assumptions.If you’ve ever felt misunderstood online, judged by strangers, or defined by a single moment, this conversation is for you.Resurface is a podcast about marriage, resilience, identity, and rebuilding after life disruption, including family medical crises, caregiving, trauma, and the pressure of being visible on the internet. Episodes range from deep and reflective to honest, human, and even funny, but always real.🎧 Topics in this episode:Online judgment and viral misinformationMarriage and early relationship storiesChildhood experiences and identityBeing misunderstood in public spacesChoosing humanity over commentaryFollow Resurface for honest conversations about marriage, family, trauma, healing, and finding your footing again when life knocks you under the surface.Follow Resurface on Apple or Spotify for future episodes. New episodes updated weekly! If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast—and, with it, a community rooted in honesty, resilience, hope, and humor.⁠⁠Click here⁠⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠

What did marriage advice used to sound like when it was delivered with absolute confidence and no room for disagreement?In this episode, we read and react to real marriage advice from the mid-20th century, including excerpts from books, manuals, and magazine content that shaped expectations around marriage, behavior, and roles. Yes, all of it is real.We sit down and respond in real time, translating the advice into plain language and reacting to the certainty with which these rules were written. Some of it is hilarious. Some of it is genuinely shocking. A few sections are so baffling they derail the conversation entirely.This episode unfolds like a time capsule: a modern couple in 2026 reacting to what marriage and “good behavior” were supposed to look like not that long ago. Expect commentary, raised eyebrows, and plenty of humor as we work through advice that once passed for common sense.If you enjoy funny reactions, cultural throwbacks, and conversations that are equal parts entertaining and absurd, this episode is an easy listen.Follow Resurface on Apple or Spotify for future episodes. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast—and, with it, a community rooted in honesty, resilience, hope, and humor.⁠Click here⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠Sources:1) Sara, Dorothy. The Bride’s Encyclopedia. New York: Greenberg, Publisher, 1951.Excerpt: “Be a Pretty Wife,” pp. 282–283, pp. 2902) Walker, Mary Alice. Venture of Faith: A Guide to Marriage and the Home. New York: Harper & Brothers, 1959.Excerpt: “Venture of Faith: A Guide to Marriage and the Home,” pp. 128, pp. 273) Lord, Daniel A. Planning Your Happy Marriage. The Queen’s Work, 1949.Excerpt: “Planning Your Happy Marriage,” pp. 54) Duvall, Evelyn Ruth Millis. When You Marry. New York: Association Press, 1953.Excerpt: “When You Marry,” pp.13, pp. 225All sources can be found at ⁠www.archive.org⁠** Disclaimer: This episode includes verbatim excerpts from historical marriage manuals, advertisements, and studies for commentary and discussion. The views expressed in the quoted material do not reflect our own and are presented for historical and educational context. **

In this episode of Resurface, we switch things up and play Agree or Disagree, a fast-moving conversation where we react in real time to opinions couples argue about more than they admit. The topics range from marriage dynamics and parenting choices to everyday habits, pet peeves, and small disagreements that somehow matter a lot.Some of the questions are purely funny, some are unexpectedly hilarious, and one turns into a real, unscripted disagreement we didn’t plan for. You’ll hear where we align, where we absolutely don’t, and how quickly a simple opinion can turn into a deeper conversation about communication, expectations, and perspective.This episode isn’t about solving anything or proving a point. It’s about letting people hear what real conversations between spouses actually sound like when there’s no script, no coaching, and no attempt to smooth things over for the sake of appearances. Sometimes we agree, sometimes we don’t, and sometimes we end up laughing at how differently two people can experience the same situation.If you enjoy honest, funny marriage conversations, couples who are willing to disagree out loud, or episodes that are easy to listen to but still revealing, this one will probably spark a few opinions of your own.Follow Resurface on Apple or Spotify for future episodes. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast—and, with it, a community rooted in honesty, resilience, hope, and humor.⁠Click here⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠

In this episode, we shift the tone and sit down for a lighter conversation built around questions we have never asked each other before. After sharing some heavy experiences in recent episodes, this one is intentionally different, offering space for curiosity, humor, and connection without revisiting crisis or trauma.We take turns answering a mix of thoughtful, playful, and unexpected questions about marriage, family, childhood memories, and the small things that shape how we see each other. Some questions lead to meaningful conversation, others catch us off guard, and a few take the conversation in completely unexpected directions.This episode is about remembering how to talk to each other outside of emergency mode, enjoying moments of levity, and reconnecting in ways that aren’t centered on survival. It reflects what everyday marriage looks like in between hard seasons, where laughter, randomness, and honesty still matter.Resurface explores marriage, caregiving, recovery, and life after medical trauma, and this episode marks a shift from crisis storytelling into connection and decompression. It’s a reminder that not every conversation has to be heavy to be meaningful.Follow Resurface on Apple or Spotify for future episodes. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast—and, with it, a community rooted in honesty, resilience, hope, and humor.⁠Click here⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠

Surviving the seizure wasn’t the end.In this episode, we pick up inside the hospital after our four-year-old was rushed in following a prolonged, life-threatening seizure. This episode covers what came next, including the hours of waiting, the uncertainty inside the ER, and Stephen’s drive across state lines from Georgia to Alabama to reach our daughter after learning how serious the emergency had become.We talk about the first moments of being reunited, the shock of moving from crisis to discharge, and what it meant to bring our child home without any medical monitoring equipment. This conversation explores the reality families face after severe pediatric seizures, including the absence of FDA-approved seizure monitoring devices for children under six, and the fear that doesn’t end once you leave the hospital.We also share how life changed overnight, how sleep became fragmented and hyper-vigilant, and what it feels like to parent in constant alert mode when reassurance and safety nets don’t exist. This episode focuses on the aftermath, the unanswered questions, and the quiet, relentless fear that follows families home after a medical emergency involving a child and a permanent, life changing diagnosis.This is not a resolution or a recovery story. It is an honest look at what comes after survival, when the danger feels ongoing and the responsibility to protect never lets up.Follow Resurface on Spotify for future episodes. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast—and, with it, a community rooted in honesty, resilience, hope, and humor.⁠Click here⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠⁠Disclaimer: We are not medical professionals. The experiences, observations, and information shared in this episode reflect our personal journey and our understanding at the time, based on what we lived through and learned along the way. This content is not intended as medical advice and should not be used as a substitute for guidance from qualified healthcare professionals.

At 4:45 a.m., everything changed.In this episode, we begin telling the story of the morning our four-year-old daughter experienced her first seizure, one that quickly escalated into status epilepticus, a prolonged, life-threatening medical emergency. What unfolded in the early morning hours was chaotic, terrifying, and far from brief.We share how the seizure continued for an extended period of time, what it looked like as her breathing became abnormal and her color began to change, and what it meant to wait while emergency medical services were still en route. This episode includes the moment our teenager woke up, recognized that something was wrong, and woke Rachel, setting off a race against time inside our own home.We talk about what it feels like to watch a child seize without knowing when or if it will stop, the panic of counting minutes, and the fear that settles in when help feels impossibly far away. This conversation explores the reality of prolonged seizures, the trauma of witnessing a medical emergency involving a child, and the way those moments imprint on parents and siblings long after the immediate danger has passed.This is not a medical explanation or a retrospective analysis. It is a raw account of the morning that introduced epilepsy into our lives, and the events that followed before answers, treatment, or clarity existed.Follow Resurface on Apple or Spotify for future episodes. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast—and, with it, a community rooted in honesty, resilience, hope, and humor. ⁠Click here⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠Disclaimer: We are not medical professionals. The experiences, observations, and information shared in this episode reflect our personal journey and our understanding at the time, based on what we lived through and learned along the way. This content is not intended as medical advice and should not be used as a substitute for guidance from qualified healthcare professionals.

Thirty days after Stephen suffered a stroke and underwent carotid surgery, our family was still in survival mode. Before there was time to recover, everything shifted again. Rachel experienced a spinal fluid leak that left me bedridden for months, unable to sit upright, function independently, or move through daily life without severe pain.We discuss the collision of roles and the extreme reality of what it is like when the caretaker becomes disabled and the disabled becomes the caretaker.In this episode, we talk about what it’s like when back-to-back medical emergencies collide inside a marriage and a family with children. We share how a spinal cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) leak can affect the body and mind, what prolonged bed rest actually feels like, and how relapses, medical uncertainty, and invisible illness compound trauma instead of resolving it.We also acknowledge the workplace trauma that occurred alongside a prolonged medical crisis, and the emotional, mental, and physical toll of existing under that strain while physically incapacitated.This conversation explores marriage under extreme pressure, parenting while incapacitated, depression, isolation, and the quiet moments no one prepares you for after the hospital doors close and life is expected to continue.This episode is not a recovery story or a linear path toward healing. It is an honest account of what happens when crises overlap, support systems are stretched, and endurance is tested beyond what feels manageable.Follow Resurface on Apple or Spotify for future episodes. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast—and, with it, a community rooted in honesty, resilience, hope, and humor.⁠Click here⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠resurfacepod⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠Resurface Podcast⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠Disclaimer: We are not medical professionals. The experiences, observations, and information shared in this episode reflect our personal journey and our understanding at the time, based on what we lived through and learned along the way. This content is not intended as medical advice and should not be used as a substitute for guidance from qualified healthcare professionals.

Young dads aren’t supposed to have strokes. That belief shapes how most of us understand health, risk, and family life, until it suddenly doesn’t apply anymore.In this episode, we share the story of Stephen’s stroke and how it unfolded in real time while we were still raising young children. Stephen was a husband, a father, and an active, healthy adult when a sudden medical emergency disrupted everything we thought we understood about stroke risk, age, and safety. What followed was shock, fear, and a crash course in how fragile normal life can be.We talk about what it’s like to experience a stroke inside a young family, how medical crisis affects marriage, parenting, and identity, and the emotional impact of watching a spouse and parent become a patient. This conversation focuses on the psychological and relational fallout of stroke, including uncertainty, waiting, and the way trauma reshapes how families think about the future.This episode is not about statistics or prevention advice. It is about caregiving, marriage under pressure, parenting through medical trauma, and the disorientation that comes when a stroke happens at an age it is not expected to. It is a starting point for conversations about family, responsibility, fear, and what happens after the moment everything changes.Follow Resurface on Apple or Spotify for future episodes. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast—and, with it, a community rooted in honesty, resilience, hope, and humor.⁠Click here⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠Disclaimer: We are not medical professionals. The experiences, observations, and information shared in this episode reflect our personal journey and our understanding at the time, based on what we lived through and learned along the way. This content is not intended as medical advice and should not be used as a substitute for guidance from qualified healthcare professionals.

This episode is the story of our youngest daughter's birth, which began as a planned induction and quickly escalated into a stat C-section. From the moment of delivery, nothing unfolded as expected. Mila was born in critical condition and required immediate, prolonged resuscitation before being transferred to the NICU for intensive care.We talk about what Stephen experienced inside the operating room as doctors and nurses worked urgently to revive our daughter, including the moment he realized chest compressions were being performed. Rachel shares what she remembers from those first moments, seeing Mila for the first time, holding her, and the shock of leaving the hospital while their baby remained behind.This conversation explores the days that followed, the uncertainty of a lengthy NICU stay, and the emotional disorientation of living inside both fear and hope at the same time. We reflect on the weight of medical trauma, the role of extraordinary doctors and nurses, and what it means to walk through an experience you cannot yet understand or explain.This episode is not a retrospective or a summary of outcomes. It is a telling of what it feels like to stand inside a moment where everything is unknown, and to be carried forward by others when you cannot yet carry yourself.Follow Resurface on Apple or Spotify for future episodes. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast—and, with it, a community rooted in honesty, resilience, hope, and humor.⁠Click here⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠Disclaimer: We are not medical professionals. The experiences, observations, and information shared in this episode reflect our personal journey and our understanding at the time, based on what we lived through and learned along the way. This content is not intended as medical advice and should not be used as a substitute for guidance from qualified healthcare professionals.

In this first episode of Resurface, we introduce ourselves and explain why we created this podcast. We briefly outline the major events that reshaped our family, including a stroke, a seizure, and the medical trauma that followed, and how those experiences changed our perspective on marriage, work, and everyday life.Rather than going deep into each crisis, this episode focuses on who we were before everything happened, how trauma altered our outlook, and why we felt compelled to start sharing these conversations publicly. We talk about the impact these experiences had on our marriage, the added weight of workplace stress, and the importance of finding humor and connection in seasons that feel isolating.Resurface exists to build community, to help people who feel alone in their experiences, and to create space for honest conversations about marriage, family, and life after everything shifts.Follow Resurface on Spotify for future episodes. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, leaving a review helps more families navigating trauma, special needs parenting, or hard seasons find this podcast—and, with it, a community rooted in honesty, resilience, hope, and humor.⁠Click here⁠ to receive emails when we upload new episodes. No spam, promise! Find us on TikTok: @⁠⁠resurfacepod⁠⁠Find us on Instagram: @⁠⁠theresurfacepodcast⁠⁠Find us on Facebook: ⁠⁠Resurface Podcast⁠⁠Email us: [email protected] our website: ⁠⁠www.resurfacepodcast.com⁠⁠