SmartAss Comedy

Send us Fan MailWay back in time, in ‘nother dimension, I was in Second City’s Children’s Theater.We were getting booked all around Chicago. Kindergartens, Community Centers, places like that.Then one day, we were told that we were just booked on Bozos Circus, live TV?

Send us Fan MailI'm once again telling a true story of a hitchhiking adventure. I say it's true because it was, so believe it!My experience has been that every hitchhiking ride had at least one event that scared me. This hitchhiking ride had one of those.ATTENTION: The original audio has a few naughty words spoken. So, to keep these words from your precious ears, I distorted them so your precious ears didn't hear them.

Send us Fan MailWhen the guy who signs your Death Certificate and hands out copies to friends and family, does someone else check to make sure you’re really dead? 

Send us Fan MailI have hitchhiked a lot and rode with some interesting folks.But there was that one day.It wasn’t humorous.No laughs.It was just intense.But one thing was certain. That one day changed my life forever. 

Send us Fan MailWhen I see the Postman, I think how boring it must be. You drive or walk around, gather up a handful of mail, open a mailbox, stick the mail in, close the mailbox, drive or walk to next delivery spot, repeat.You do that every day except on Sunday.Well, that’s probably true for most Postmen.But there was one PostDude that apparently didn’t fit that mold.Listen on as I introduce you to the one Postman who just couldn’t wait to go deliver mail and then some. 

Send us Fan MailYep, I have another hitchhiking story.This time it’s during the time of the Vietnam War.Protests were everywhere. The Draft had become the new Lottery Game. The night of the first Lottery Draft Game everyone was tense. In our dorm, we gathered together around an old 12 inch black and white TV with a grainy picture. Names weren’t drawn. Birthdays were drawn. 

Send us Fan MailI always loved theatre. It was that love that took me to Second City Workshops in Chicago. The following was one afternoon at Second City for rehearsals.After Cheers ended, Shelley Long took up with Second City in Chicago.I never formally met Shelley Long, though a part of me still remains’ close to her. 

Send us Fan MailI think just about everyone has someone they look up to.I can think of a few people I think are great but could be completely wrong with that assessment because I never met them.Though there is one guy that I finally got to meet.Stick around and I’ll tell you about the time I had with this guy.

Send us Fan MailHere I am, on another hitchhiking adventure. This story starts when I’m just outside of Kansas City. I have to say, I never imagined that someone like this driver would pick me up. But he did and what I expected was going to happen turned out to be the exact opposite.Just goes to show you, in this crazy world don’t expect, assume, or think what you think cause you’ll be wrong.

Send us Fan MailHitchhiking is rather boring, you know, standing on the side of a highway with you thumb stuck out like it has some kind of strange substance on it and you’re hoping somebody will stop and wipe it off. That’s how boring it can be. But then there’s always one guy that stops you never expected.Meet one of my favorite ride dudes. Don’t know his name. It’s not like I forgot, it’s just that he never said, in fact he never said one word except for… well that will have to come later in the story.

Send us Fan MailThere comes a time in a young boy’s life when he is set free. Free to do things he had demonstrated a qualifying maturity to do. Then it all goes to Hell.That happened to me. I went with two friends to Wrigley Field in Chicago. If you aren’t familiar with Wrigley, it is the home of the professional baseball team, The Chicago Cubs.Apparently, our parents forgot that we were 14 years old and we had the maturity of a Slug. Before they remembered, we took off.Getting to Wrigley and being at the game was great, except for the incredible amounts of junk food. Oh, the pain.Getting home was when it went to Hell, especially for me.Have a listen to my story and if you have kids, try to remember how old they are each year. Only Wine and Most Distilled Spirits Age Well.

Send us Fan MailBeer, Friends, Urination, Forest, Drunk.You wouldn’t think that combination would go together very well.And you would be correct, and this story is a glaring example.On one particular day that combination not only didn’t go together very well, it was a disaster.By the time everything was straightened out, more than a few people had got involved, there were magical fairies, and drunkenness.Let me know what you think of this story. Use the link above Send us a textThanks and enjoy the story!

Send us Fan MailIn today’s world it’s hard to find a reputable Nursing Home for a loved one. You just don’t know how they will adjust. Afterall you’re taking them out of their home. The home where they have lived for so many years. You hope that the home you find is like the one they are leaving, warm and welcoming.The place in this story is not quite what you are looking for. It’s a house of depravity.It’s an unrulily place where the residents are taken down a road of sexual debauchery.Have A Listen! And Enjoy! 

Send us Fan MailThis is a Parody of Commercials that claim to fix sexual problems.This Podcast is for entertainment purposes only and makes no claim to cure, diagnose, and or treat any condition, symptom, and or disease.SmartAss Comedy hopes you will enjoy and share this Podcast. 

Send us Fan MailSometimes Humans can become obsessed with stuff. Different people, different stuff.Is it their DNA, environment? Who knows? It only becomes a problem when that obsession takes over their life and becomes dangerous to themselves or others.Todays story is about the dangerous side of obsession. Taking it too far. Ignoring the danger and being just plain stupid.This should be fun!So, have a listen. And please send a text about what you think or anything.

Send us Fan MailSometimes the most unlikely things can be worth a great deal of money.This story is about the one thing that everyone creates, then throws away. Until now it has been a money maker for others who create things that deal with your creation.Things for the ease of throwing your creation away. Along with that, cleaning supplies for your creation.Up till now you would spend a great deal of money on things like those.I’ll take you on your creation’s journey from a nuisance to a treasure.Have a listen to this story while you’re in the process of creating your creation. It will make it a lot more fun.

Send us Fan MailI had been on the side of the Interstate for hours. My thumb had been out there for so long it was getting sunburn! Finally, a car was stopping or not stopping to end my misery. Fortunately, stopping it was.It was finally a ride after a long day. The more I listened to the car the more I was concerned. The sound was weird  I knew we were to die, so why not enjoy the ride while waiting for my heart to explode.Keep listening for the surprise ending. I know every podcaster and YouTuber says that and it’s annoying. But listen to it anyway, for little Ol’ me, please even if it’s not a surprise. My Mommy will be happy. 

Send us Fan MailWhen you reach a certain point in life, your sense of time can get a bit foggy.What you think will happen in the future is usually based on what is happening in your present time.You will say things about what will be in a future time without thinking it through. This can and usually does become quite an embarrassing situation and make you feel like an idiot.This idea was put to the test in this story. 

Send us Fan MailWhen you’re a Kid, adventures happen just about every day.The story of this adventure is that summer’s One In A Million.Me and the Boys started that day like every other start of a summer day. But this day exploded into a “There’s no way this is happening!” day!So, sit back and have a listen. You’ll find out how and why this “Was The Craziest Summer Day Ever!”. 

Send us Fan MailA friend of mine and myself went on a hitchhiking trip. In the middle of it, that’s when it happened.To this day I get creepy feelings every time I think about that trip.You say you are never grossed or creeped out. I don’t believe it. Listen to this story and honestly tell me it didn’t bother you. If that’s you, I’m impressed.Please send me a comment. Would love to hear from you. Click  the above link: Send us a text.Now go and listen to “The Ceiling Is Moving”. 

Send us Fan MailTwo Stressed-Out People set off for a Weekend Get-A-Way. After arriving at the Motel where they had reserved a room, the festivities began. Everything was going as planned.Then was the consumption of Get-Ya-Goings. Now fired up, the Planned Out Activity List said it was time for a Stress-Removal-Activity. The problem with a Planned Out Activity List is you forgetting the Have-To-Have-It that is for the Stress-Removal-Activity that is on the list.All this is what happened to our Two Stressed-Out People attempting to have a nice Weekend Get-A-Way.Have a listen to find out what was that activity’s missing vital part along with how the weekend played out for our Two Stressed-Out People.

Send us Fan MailAs I get older and look back on the things we did years ago, I  don’t understand how I stayed alive to tell those stories today.Only Kids can turn an apparent fun thing into a death trap.You don’t do it on purpose. It happens because you haven’t been on this Planet long enough to know that what you are about to do is really Stupid! If you’re reading this and you’re planning on listening to my story, I’m happy that you too found a way to Survive Youth. 

Send us Fan MailSmartAss Comedy wants to wish everyone a happy and safe Holiday Season.And may the New Year bring Peace and Good Will to all.

Send us Fan MailSo many things happen to children as they go through the grades while attending school. This is crazy true in the middle grades. That’s the age when kids are starting to physically and mentally change.This story takes place in my school when we were experiencing those changes and the traumas that went along with them.Then came The Talk.

Send us Fan MailYou fall in love with something you have known all your life.The wedding date is set.The excitement builds but you begin to have doubts.But the doubts go away when you see her, you know this is right.Finally the day is here.In private, you and your Bride are wed.But something is very wrong.What is it?Find out in this episode of SmartAss Comedy Stories.

Send us Fan MailThis story is about a guy that was exposed to something at an early age that got bigger and bigger as he grew. And at the same time he grew to love.People that came in contact with him thought he was a Nut Job. Let me know what you think after you listen to his story.If you enjoyed this story, there are more to come. So go ahead and hit Follow so you won’t miss any of them. And Download Stories so you can listen whenever and wherever you want.Hey! If you have a mind to, write a comment. I can take it.

Send us Fan MailWant to make a Great Day Go to Hell? Lose your Car Keys in a lake, river, ocean, or any body of water. That should do it.That’s what happens in this story. But is there a happy ending?Find out in this Podcast!If you enjoyed this story, there are more stories here and more to come. So go ahead and hit Follow so you won’t miss any of them. And Download Stories so you can listen whenever and wherever you want.Hey! If you have a mind to, write a comment. I can take it.

Send us Fan MailWhat was to be a fun day became unfun. I blame myself. Once again being my SmartAss self ruined the day for my wife and young daughter. At least it was free.

Send us Fan MailThis is the story of a woman on a mission.Halloween is a fun holiday. Costumes, Candy, and Pumpkins!Yep, you have to have Pumpkins. Carve them. Have them part of your decorations.But what if you can’t afford one of those expensive gourds?I guess you would try to steal one.Our star tried that, but it just wasn’t her day.(The anatomy of one individual in this story sounds unreal, but it is true. I do confess though that I have embellished the anatomy somewhat for the episode.)

Send us Fan MailA toilet. It’s a simple device. Why should it be celebrated?Because until you need one, you won’t know how important they are.This Podcast highlights a couple of situations where you really need a toilet.Celebrate Toilets. In the end, you will always need one.

Send us Fan MailGo to work , , , Leave work . . .Everyday. How boring is that?Now imagine doing that every day for 20 years!Do you just stop going to work and hide?You would also have to hide from family, friends!You would be Running Away!Hold on Antsy Pants. Don’t put on your running shoes quite yet.What if you were still employed, getting paid, and just not going to work.Yes, my friends. This can be done. Run Away with me and get a lesson on how to do it from a Professional Work Escaper. Can it really be done? Maybe, just don’t get caught! Ha!

Send us Fan MailHitchhiking, will you live or die. That’s the bottom line.I did a lot of hitchhiking back in the 70’s. It was an adventure.This story is about one of my friends and I getting a ride for one part of a trip.There’s only one word that describes that trip . . .Scary!

Send us Fan MailDo you remember Kindergarten or Preschool?I do and there’s one particular incident that I’ll never forget.I think it was the first time I went public with getting in trouble.I don’t know about you, but sometimes I see things that could become hysterical if done the right way.And that day there was a group of three things that fit the requirements. Strategically placed, I would find it hysterical, all others would not.It was the beginnings of Bad Boy Pranks.