Stonedhenge: History and High Thoughts

Long before the US was a global superpower, they were just a 30-year-old country that decided to pick a fight with the strongest navy in the world. Why? Because the British were essentially pulling a massive kidnapping spree and stealing American sailors right off their boats. In this episode, we are tracking the absolute chaos of the War of 1812. We cover: Revolutionary War 2: Why the US thought it would be a great idea to steal America's "top hat" (Canada) , and how General William Hull surrendered Detroit without even putting up a fight. Old Ironsides & Privateers: How the USS Constitution was literally deflecting British cannonballs , and why the US government just gave civilians permission to take their own boats and start stealing British ships. The Accidental Anthem: The wild story of Francis Scott Key watching Fort McHenry get bombarded for 25 hours straight and inadvertently writing the American National Anthem. The Swamp Wars: Why Andrew Jackson and his troops fought the massive Battle of New Orleans a full two weeks after the peace treaty had already been signed. In the studio: Tom gets his mind completely blown by the true origins of the National Anthem, and realizes the USS Constitution is the exact ship their buddy has tattooed on the back of his leg.

Long before competitive eating was a televised sport, getting kicked out of your parents' house for eating a quarter of a cow in a single day was just the start of the wildest medical mystery in French history.In this episode, we are tracking the absolutely revolting life of Tarrare, the 18th-century human garbage disposal. We cover:The Traveling Sideshow: Why eating live puppies, swallowing entire baskets of apples, and chugging literal trash was considered peak entertainment before the internet.Weaponized Indigestion: The moment the French military looked at a guy who smelled terrible and ate stray animals, and decided he was the perfect covert spy to smuggle classified documents in his stomach.The Hospital Horror Story: The real reason you don't let a guy with a bottomless pit for a stomach hang around an 18th-century medical ward (spoiler: it ends with him trying to eat cadavers and being the primary suspect in a missing toddler case).In the studio: Travis aggressively points and condescends while , and Tom physically tests if he can fit his own fist sideways in his mouth.Grab a bucket. You're going to need it for this one.

What if J. Robert Oppenheimer didn't actually invent the atomic bomb, but just rediscovered it?Today, we are flipping the script. Travis is taking a break from the research, and Tom is putting on his tinfoil hat to dive into the ultimate ancient conspiracy: The destruction of Mohenjo-Daro. We look at the impossible evidence suggesting a Bronze Age utopia was wiped off the map by a nuclear blast 4,500 years ago. We cover:The Bronze Age Utopia: How a 2500 BC city in Pakistan had perfect grid streets, indoor plumbing, and zero weapons.The Trinity Connection: Why archaeologists found vitrified green glass melted into the desert floor that perfectly matches the 1945 atomic test sites.The Ancient Texts: The ancient Hindu war manuals that specifically describe radiation sickness, hair falling out, and birds turning white.Oppenheimer's Confession: The chilling reason the father of the atomic bomb learned to read Sanskrit.In the studio: Tom takes the reins so Travis can recover from being sick, and immediately proves why he probably shouldn't be trusted with the research.

Long before anyone knew what a germ was, or had any basic common sense, getting sick basically meant a demon was pissed at you, or the moon was just in a bad spot.In this episode, we are tracking the absolute chaos of historical medicine from ancient Mesopotamia all the way to the Renaissance. We cover:The Humoral Theory: Why ancient doctors (and the guys who bled George Washington) thought draining your blood to balance your "four fluids" was peak healthcare.Astrological Surgery: The era where ignoring a star chart before pulling a tooth was considered actual malpractice.The Miasma Era: The real reason Plague Doctors stuffed those creepy bird masks full of incense (spoiler: everything just smelled terrible).In the studio: Travis explains why you can't get a tooth pulled when the "alligator is in retrograde", and Tom admitted that he doesn't smoke in public because of his eyes are a bright red beacon to the public.Listen to Stonedhenge—History for people who hated history class. 💨🎙️

In the Bible, humanity tried to build a tower to heaven, and God responded by smashing it and scrambling everyone's languages. Fast forward to the Middle Ages, and European Crusaders found the ruins and thought, "We should probably try that again."In this episode, we look at humanity's repeated urge to touch the sky and immediately regret it. We cover:The Literal Crime Scene: How medieval peasants didn't view Babel as a metaphor, but as a real, historical tower that explained why communication was so hard.The Rebuild Pitch: The daring theological loophole that if they built the tower for God instead of to God, maybe He'd give everyone a universal language back.The "Pizza at Home" Problem: Why the project ultimately failed (turns out, funding a multi-generational mud-brick skyscraper in a warzone is a logistical nightmare).In the studio: Travis explains why God wouldn't want to use a stone tower as a fireman's pole, and Tom questions exactly why his teenage son keeps a 12-inch ruler sitting out on the bathroom counter.

What happens when thousands of heavily armed sailors suddenly get laid off? They steal an island and start their own businesses. In the early 1700s, unemployed privateers took over the Bahamian port of Nassau, declaring it the lawless "Republic of Pirates".In this episode, we hoist the black flag and dive into the Golden Age of Piracy. We cover:The Pirate Constitution: How pirate ships were actually highly organized democracies where captains were elected and the crew operated on a strict profit-share system.Pirate Workers' Comp: Why losing your right arm in battle earned you a massive payout of 600 pieces of eight, while losing an eye only got you 100.The Legends: From "Papa Pirate" Benjamin Hornigold to Edward "Blackbeard" Teach, a 6'4" giant who literally tied lit fuses into his facial hair to terrify his enemies.In the studio: Travis breaks down the economics of a pirate "S-Corp" , while Tom recounts his past of traveling the country in a pirate band playing sea shanties.

Before coffee, humanity ran on "low battery mode"—mostly beer, wine, and going to bed at sunset. Then, an Ethiopian goat herder noticed his goats were dancing after eating some weird red berries, and suddenly, the world woke up.In this episode, we pour a fresh cup and trace the history of the world’s favorite legal drug. We cover:The Goat Origin Story: Did a goat named Kaldi actually discover caffeine, or was he just the first guy to realize his livestock was tweaking?The "Devil's Drink": How religious leaders tried to ban coffee as "Satan's bitter invention" until the Pope tasted it and decided it was too delicious to let the non-Christians have all the fun.The "Penny Universities": How coffee houses became the "Internet before the Internet," leading to the invention of stock markets, insurance, and revolutions.In the studio: Travis explains to Tom why civilization used to be slightly drunk all day, and shares a surprisingly wholesome story about falling in love at a Waffle House.

What happens when you put 2.5 million people in a city with no plumbing during a heatwave? You get the "Great Stink," a disaster so bad it literally stopped the gears of the British Empire.In this episode, we explore the summer of stench. We cover:Miasma Theory: The belief that "bad air" was the killer, leading doctors to prescribe "good smells" while ignoring the poop in the water.The "Committee of Stench": How Parliament formed a special committee just to figure out why outside smelled like death.The Legacy: How a summer of suffering led to the modern sewer system we use today.In the studio: Travis breaks down the biology of cholera, and Tom wonders if the solution to modern politics is just making the Capitol building smell really, really bad until they fix things.

In 1859, a failed businessman named Joshua Norton did the only logical thing left to do: he declared himself Emperor of the United States. Surprisingly, the city of San Francisco just... went along with it.In this episode, we dive into the life of America’s first and only monarch. We cover:How he tried to dissolve Congress (and why they ignored him).His vision for the Bay Bridge 60 years before it was built.Why the police were afraid to arrest him.The currency he printed that local businesses actually accepted.In the studio: Travis explains the reign of Emperor Norton with the frantic, twitchy intensity of a man who has replaced his blood with espresso. Tom watches in stunned silence as Travis tries to print his own currency on a laser printer, claiming that if the people of 1850 accepted "Vibe-Bucks," then Tom should accept a hand-drawn picture of a nickel for the pizza.

In July 1518, a woman named Frau Troffea stepped into a street in Strasbourg and began to dance. She didn't stop for a week. Within a month, 400 people had joined her in a deadly, non-stop mania that baffled doctors and killed dozens.In this episode, we break down the strangest mass hysteria event in history, including:The "Cure" that Killed: Why city officials decided to try to cure the disease in the usual way...more dancing?The Suspects: Was it Ergot poisoning (moldy bread), spider bites, or extreme religious stress?The Saint: The role of Saint Vitus and why medieval people thought he was cursing their feet.In the studio: Travis explains to Tom how a spontaneous street boogie turned into a horror story. We discuss why "more bass" was the wrong medical advice, and Tom tries to understand a condition where your legs effectively file for independent custody from your brain.

In January 897 AD, Pope Stephen VI ordered his predecessor, Pope Formosus, to stand trial for perjury and illegal ambition. The only problem? Formosus had been dead for seven months.In this episode, we unpack the "Synodus Horrenda," the most gruesome ecclesiastical trial in history. We cover:The Setup: Why the church dug up a rotting corpse, dressed him in full papal vestments, and propped him up on a throne.The Trial: A deacon was assigned to speak for the dead Pope (who remained silent for obvious reasons) while Stephen VI screamed at the body.In the studio: Travis walks Tom through the pettiest moment in Vatican history. Expect irresponsible legal jargon as Tom tries to understand the logistics of interrogating a skeleton, and we ask the important question: Why was this allowed, and why didn't anyone in court say anything?

In late 1932, the Australian government declared war on a new enemy: 20,000 emus destroying wheat crops in Western Australia. They sent the Royal Australian Artillery armed with Lewis machine guns and 10,000 rounds of ammunition. The birds won.In this episode, we break down the most embarrassing military operation in history, including:The Commander: Major Meredith, who famously claimed the emus had the "invulnerability of tanks."The Tactics: How the birds used "guerrilla warfare" tactics to split into small groups and dodge automatic fire.The Defeat: Why the military had to withdraw not once, but twice, admitting defeat to a flightless bird.In the studio: Travis explains how a pack of six-foot feathered chaos goblins became accidental legends by simply jogging away with confidence. Tom asks the only reasonable question: "How did a modern military lose to birds?"

Augustus II (1697–1733), also known as "Augustus the Strong," was the Elector of Saxony and King of Poland who cared more about his bench press than his politics. He was famous for literally breaking horseshoes with his bare hands and folding silver plates like tacos to impress dinner guests.In this episode, we cover the chaotic life of Europe’s strongest monarch, including:The Feats of Strength: How he would engage in feats of strength that baffled the mind, even in todays standards.The Politics: How he managed to bankrupt his region and lose wars while partying harder than any other king in history.In the studio: Travis explains how Augustus lived like a Skyrim character with maxed-out Strength stats but zero Intelligence. Tom tries to comprehend the logistics of having 300 kids, and we discuss why being able to snap a horseshoe doesn't necessarily make you a good leader.

In the 5th Century AD, the Roman Empire faced a threat it couldn't bribe or bully: Attila the Hun. Known as the "Scourge of God," he united the barbarian tribes, ravaged Europe, and forced the Romans to pay him massive amounts of gold just to stay away.In this episode, we break down the life of history's most terrifying warlord, including:The Pope Meeting: The mysterious moment Pope Leo I rode out to meet Attila and somehow convinced him to spare Rome without a fight.The Anti-Climax: Attila's shocking death—not in battle, but from a nosebleed on his wedding night.In the studio: Travis explains how a man who essentially lived on horseback managed to stress-test the greatest empire on earth. Tom tries to understand the logic of "skull cups" and we ask the real question: Was Attila a strategic genius, or just a really angry "Horse Dad" with good timing?

In 1429, a 17-year-old illiterate peasant girl named Joan of Arc showed up at the court of the French King and claimed God had sent her to save France. Even crazier? They gave her an army.In this episode, we cover the short, fiery life of the Maid of Orléans, including:The Impossible Victory: How she lifted the Siege of Orléans in just 9 days after seasoned generals had failed for months.The Voices: Was she hallucinating Saints Michael, Catherine, and Margaret, or was she truly a visionary?The Trial: Why the English burned her at the stake not just for "heresy," but for the crime of wearing men's clothes.In the studio: Travis and Tom tackle the armored enigma herself—aka "The Girl Who Heard Voices and Decided to Fight a War About It." We unravel the divine DMs, the battlefield strategies, and the absolutely bonkers trial that ended with France saying "Oops, our bad" 25 years too late.

The legend of Miyamoto Musashi concludes with the most famous duel in history: The Battle of Ganryu Island. In this episode, we cover the climax of Musashi's life. We discuss:The Oar Duel: How Musashi arrived late to fight his rival Sasaki Kojiro, carved a weapon out of a boat oar on the way there, and won with a single blow.The Book of Five Rings: The philosophical masterpiece he wrote in a cave weeks before his death, which is still read by business leaders and martial artists today.The Legacy: How a smelly, unwashed ronin became the saint of swordsmanship.In the studio: The journey continues as Travis dives deeper into the chaotic brilliance of Musashi’s life. The duels get deadlier and the metaphors get weirder as Tom tries to decide if Musashi was a tactical genius or just a wandering NPC with a grudge and a stick.

Miyamoto Musashi is arguably the greatest swordsman who ever lived. An undefeated ronin (masterless samurai), he won his first duel at age 13 and went on to win over 60 life-or-death battles.In this episode, we track the early blood-soaked years of Japan’s ultimate warrior, including:The Style: How he invented "Niten Ichi-ryu" (Two Heavens, One Style), the technique of fighting with two swords at once.The Feud: His one-man war against the Yoshioka sword school, where he allegedly fought dozens of men at once.The Reality: Separating the man from the myth—was he a disciplined warrior or just a vagabond with a temper?In the studio: Travis explains the legendary life of Musashi to Tom, who is just now realizing samurai were real and not just anime side characters. Tom tries to absorb the wisdom of the warrior path but mostly just asks if using a wooden stick makes Musashi a "Bonk-urai."

In 1453, Sultan Mehmed II showed up to the most fortified city on earth with a simple plan: "What if we just built a cannon the size of a barn?"In this episode, we break down the most metal siege in history—The Fall of Constantinople. We cover:The Basilic Cannon: A 27-foot gun that fired 600-pound balls and occasionally exploded, killing its own crew (OSHA was not involved).The Land Ships: How the Ottomans bypassed the harbor defenses by greasing up some logs and literally dragging 70 warships over a mountain overnight.The Final Stand: The chaotic end of the Byzantine Empire and why the "unbreakable" Theodosian Walls finally crumbled.In the studio: Travis guides Tom through the smoke of 1453. We discuss why you should never underpay your mercenaries (Urban the Engineer), the physics of drifting a battleship over a hill, and how the Middle Ages officially ended with a bang.