Terrible Trek

It'll take some time before The Next Generation does any degree of justice to the former enemy of the Federation, the Klingons. "Heart of Glory" certainly does little favors to the war-like race that eventually become super beloved. We pontificate on how readily the crew speculates that just because some of his own species boards the ship, Worf might bail on Starfleet and rejoin his brethren. More veiled racism in the first season is a super bad look. Originally recorded on 3/16/21

A behind-schedule teraforming mission on Velara III draws the Enterprise to investigate, whereupon they discover a new crystalline form of life living in the "Home Soil," which, incidentally, is not the first crystaline life form encountered by this crew. If I had a nickle for every time this happens, I'd have 15 cents, which isn't a lot, but it's odd that it's happened more than once! There's some solid sci-fi present, but it gets bogged down thanks to the rushed delivery of the screenplay, and issues with sets and casting. Originally recorded on 2/24/21

The fans who were upset about the notion of families onboard this new Enterprise got their due when several of the crew's children, including Wesley, are spirited off the ship to help a genetically poisoned society eventually introduce fresh new DNA. Spolier alert! The magical power source that sustains the colony's lives is also the thing that was killing them! Who could have seen THAT coming? "When the Bough Breaks" is yet another lazy plot that any Trek fan could have spotted a mile away. Remember the key rule in Hollywood: never work with animals or children. Originally recorded on 2/16/21

Geriatric admiral Mark Jameson boards the Enterprise as he is seemingly the *only* delegate who can broker peace between two warring alien species, but things take a turn when the admiral's age seems to reverse before the crew's very eyes! The acting is bad, the makeup is bad, the entire episode is... bad. Sadly, "Too Short a Season" is not quite short enough. Originally recorded on 2/9/21

The underlying concept of "Angel One," showing us what an aggressive matriarchial society might look like, falls super flat. This time, sexist overones betray the primarily male writing staff's thoughts about women. The footing of the show still has not been landed on, and yet another dud takes its place in the annals of TNG. Originally recorded on 2/2/21

This blundering reference to the Bard has it all; an arranged marriage, a match made amongst the stars, and the first appearance of Lwaxana Troi, which, honestly, her scenes are the only redeeming parts of this snoozefest called "Haven." Mr Homn, give us one ring, and one ring only. Originally recored on 1/27/21

Q's first return since his shenanigans at Farpoint pits the bridge crew against… French Legionaire soldiers with… pig faces? Trust us, it rapidly goes downhill from here. Trekkies were delighted to see the death of Wesley Crusher, only to be disappointed that the boy is promptly revived to live another day. The game of "Hide & Q" makes zero sense, and Riker does a poor job of refusing to cooperate when Q grants him immeasurable power. Originally recorded on 1/19/21

A planet full of blonde nymphos attempt to exact "Justice" on young Wesley Crusher when he violates one of their incredibly stupid laws. Meanwhile, the Enterprise dances a rather boring tango with a "space God" who insists that the Federation stay tf away from the people they are subjugating. But we don't really care about any of that nonsense, and instead discuss the difference between modern tv and classic tv, and stuff like water processing facilities and small airports! Cringe at the worst bit of Trek dialogue ever written: "I'm with Starfleet; we don't lie." Wil Wheaton, we are so sorry that they made you say that line. Like, really sorry. Originally recorded on 1/28/23

While passing through a nebula, a sentient energy being posesses first the Enterprise, and then Captain Picard, in an attempt to return back to its nebula. Yet again, there's… little of consequence that happens, apart from the being beaming out into the nebula to be "Lonely Among Us," and the crew *somehow* manages to rescue the captain, using his last pattern trace in a way that totally violates most of the established technobabble canon regarding transporters. Ooof. Originally recorded 1/12/21

Our first look at what was supposed to be the big bad of The Next Generation, the Ferengi, are… a total joke in "The Last Outpost." Thankfully, Armin Shimerman gets a chance to redeem the Ferengi when he eventually stars as Quark in Deep Space Nine, but this appearance here is frankly embarrassing. This one's good for the lols. Originally recorded on 1/8/21

Two episodes into The Next Generation so far, and… "Code of Honor" does not inspire any further confidence. If anything, racist overtones abound in this supposedly utopian future. Suffer with us, friends! Originally recorded on 12/29/20

In our second installment, we review the first true episode of The Next Generation, "The Naked Now." Or is it an episode of The Original Series? Who knows, but it's a train wreck, regardless! Originally recorded on 12/16/20

In our very first podcast episode, our heroes dive into the less than stellar pilot episode of The Next Generation, ""Encounter At Farpoint."" There's a space-station mystery! An omnipotent being! Pain, and anger! Joy and gratitude!! Join us as we start off this journey by examining the not-so-great episodes of our favorite series. Originally recorded on 9/22/20