The C. J. J. B. and J. P. N. Brand Podcast

Transcript: Collection 1, what is it?Well, Collection 1 is the best combination I could muster up. That being a combination of the old episodes that have been removed from this page from my formative years, the audio-drama teasers I have been releasing and the stories/episodes that I have written that I have not yet released…Some episodes will be more story anchored, some will be more camp than others like the episodes of olde and some will be more audio-drama centric!Another thing we are bringing back, like the old series, they would rotate each week; we are bringing that back… four series, but on three episode rotations.Which means at the time of the third episode the third and the fourth series rotate between one-another, like The Meanings of Cornish Words and The Meanings of Latin Words… from back in the day.

Transcript: Some unfortunate news regarding projects…The teasers for The (Canon) Rodger Rat episode and the teasers for The Unnamed Episode that were going to be released in early 2026….Because of voice acting complications and a series episode rearrangement, those episodes will have to be released later on; with a different voice actor for that episode.But in other news, we do have an episode to release in early 2026, but it's only one episode, so consider that a pilot episode for one of the series (plural) that I will be working on for next year!

Transcript:John Brittle (reminiscing): Rodger Brittle, my brother wrote this book for me when I was merely a child… He was quite well-learned for his age; being twenty and all!(jovial) I jest—of course! (Reminiscing with a hint of dread and trepidation) He is a good writer, but that is not why I am reading it to you here; it is the drawings…They are quite peculiar if you ask me.(Being humorous) And although you haven't, I prompted it myself before you even had to; (said with menacing undertones) call me narcissistic if you will.(Going back to jovial) I jest (a little bit of the ominous and foreboding threat as it dissipates) again…(Trying to lie) But I am not really, I just like showing other people's work… *A lingering breath* (his own vain compromises his vanity) with my own voice!(Trauma bleeding through more) This is a normal kid's book apart from some out of place illustrations of which could cause some dread and discomfort, but I digress.(Trauma noticeable) For some reason he decided to go with a mixture of realistic sketches for the environments, rubberhose-esque for the various sapient critters and anime-like for—humans? Yea! The humans—apart from one!Which is on the cover...(Trauma beginning to overflow) On the cover is one of the problems. A human drawn with more detail than the others; he appears to be a store owner with well extenuated bones—that look like if they pressed any harder the skin would be penetrated…(Trying to calm down)He is either looking at the reader or Rodger Rat, it is an illusion that depends on the angle the book is positioned.(Breaking down) The dissonance—the dissonance between the environment, Rodger Rat himself, the humans and who I self-proclaimed as a young child, ‘Mr. Grim Bones…’ Were all quite jarring, it was all quite jarring!

Transcript: John Brittle: (monotonous and detached with a hint of grouchiness and begrudging) Hello there, this is Jonathan Brittle and I think I have found something prudent and worthwhile. This is regarding an account made for The Council for those in the know… like I. It is about an experiment revolving around an anomalous room—if you know you know…And that is why you are hearing of this now.*A cut*(Mildly annoyed) Oh shit... you guys probably would count that as me being too bored to be formal.(Ranting) Well, that only (mic cutting out and in) fucks (normal recording) me up in the long run, a really shitty long run... That is overseen by you, dictated by you!*Noticeable cut and walkie-talkie distortion*Your eyes critics with sharp teeth ready to engorge themselves on a singular flaw... they come to notice...*Cut, crossfade*(Self-appreciative with catching his breath as if speed running sentences) I think distortion could work there to make that more overtly sinister; don't you think?(Continues ranting) Judging us and writing notices—when you are flawed yourself... But those flaws go ignored without consequence whilst we get fired!directed, written and voice-acted by Chris Brittle

(Non Canon... hmmmmm?)Transcript: 1. Rodger Rat liked going to the store.2. Rodger Rat didn't find it a chore.3. He wandered by himself, through shelf upon shelf.4. Looking for goodies to keep all to himself.5. Rodger wasn't selfless; he was greedy and mean.6. Some would say, “he was tiny and lean.”7. He wasn't nice to look at all; as he was all dirty and small.8. Even when suited and wearing a hat. He wasn't very nice, at all for a rat.9. But then a day came that changed him for good.10. It was just an ordinary day, as I understood.11. Nothing was different, not the slightest detail.12. It happened when reading his favourite tale.13. Reading about how friends buy presents for each-other.14. This was not something he’d learned from his mother.15. Was buying stuff for himself, causing strife?16. He'd buy his friend a present, to improve his life.17. Rodger now felt all fluffy and warm.18. He'd buy a present for his friend Norm.19. This feeling had never happened before.20. He had liked how it felt and now wanted some more.21. So, off to the shop he snuck, amongst the crowd.22. feeling so very excited and terribly proud.23. Whilst mid skip, he tripped over a crack in the pavement.24. This made him cross, until he remembered the present.25. Which in turn rendered this negative spell less incessant.26. And it made him feel good as he pulled up his hood.27. He'd never felt like this before.28. Doing something nice for a friend, changed him for sure.29. Here was the shop before his big, pointy snout. 30. He’d buy his friend cheese, as they were all out. 31. He entered the store with quite some ease. 32. And looked for a single slice of cheese. 33. But. As far as the eye could see, there were cheeses of every variety.34. He selected the biggest and best of slices.35. He didn’t even check any prices.36. Home he trots, to wrap the surprise.37. Oh, what a feast for hungry eyes.38. Temptation abounds, it doesn’t feel right.39. Oh dear, it was supposed to be… just… one… bite…voiced and written by Chris J. J. Brittle

Something is coming...Transcript: John Brittle (reluctant and grumpy, trying to figure out how to introduce his foreword): hello… Hello there! Hello there.This is!? This is… This is?This is… I am? (Coming to a decision) Yes, Jonathan Brittle!(He is sure that no one will, he is being sarcastic) For those that care…*Barely noticed cut between lines*(Disgruntled and grumpy) Hah!Why am I even bothering with this?(Has a spicy heated thing to say in a resigned manner in that same disgruntled manner) You guys wouldn't care about the person behind the (voice crack) reco-ording… But ehhhhhhh, I have got to do a professional introduction to this recording—for prosperity reasons. (monotonous and detached with a hint of grouchiness and begrudging) Hello there, this is Jonathan Brittle and I think I have found something prudent and worthwhile.Cast: Chris Brittle as writer, director and also as the voice actor for John Brittle