The D. Tales with Allison Kahler

This is the story of a woman who spent years shrinking into boxes that weren't built for her — and turned the ending of nearly everything into the beginning of a life that's finally hers.In this episode:The unbelievable synchronicity of endings — finalizing her divorce, selling her business, and parting with her longtime nanny all in a single day — and the beautiful new beginning it opened up on the other sideThe "Jumanji drum" that kept getting louder inside her — and the reckoning it forced with how disconnected she'd become from her own body and inner knowingAshley's devastating miscarriage — and why the strongest people are often the ones who most need someone to grab them by the shoulders and say "bitch, you ain't okay right now"How a 4-day retreat in Tulum — breathwork, gateless writing, sound healing — cracked her open and became the blueprint for the work she now does with her coaching clientsWhy she got sober 6 months before saying the word "divorce" out loud — and what staying fully awake through the hardest conversations of her life made possibleThe North Star that steadied every hard decision: family stays family — rewriting the template of her own parents' divorce for her kidsAbout Ashley Logan:Ashley Logan is a transformational coach and somatic guide based in Chicago. She works with women through coaching, retreats, and workshops to move beyond burnout and live with more authenticity, purpose, and joy — blending practical tools with a grounded, bottom-up approach that helps clients reconnect with the most aligned versions of themselves. A self-described "people-pleaser and entrepreneur in recovery," Ashley is committed to making the world a little more loving for everyone. She's also a loving mother of three.Learn more: ashleydlogan.comFollow Ashley on Instagram: @ashleydloganSubscribe to Ashley's Substack: https://ashleydlogan.substack.com/About “Inner Alchemy with Ashley Logan”:Ashley is also the host of Inner Alchemy with Ashley Logan, a podcast for the dreamers, doers, and changemakers navigating burnout, big questions, and the pull to come back to what truly matters. Inner Alchemy covers everything from nervous system regulation and somatic healing, to practical, embodied tools that help women reconnect with their bodies, intuition and sense of worth.Listen to Inner Alchemy with Ashley Logan wherever you listen to podcasts.Listen to Allison's guest episode on Inner Alchemy on Apple Podcasts or SpotifyEpisode-Specific Notes:Content note: This episode includes discussion of pregnancy loss and miscarriage. Please take care while listening.About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler":The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

This is a story about a self-described "recovering nice guy" who spent decades outsourcing his self-worth — and how he learned that healing isn't feeling better, it's feeling everything.In this episode:How the sensitive kid underneath armored up behind toxic masculinity — and why that armor "doesn't discriminate" between what it keeps out and what it keeps inHow a first separation, a cancer diagnosis, and a decade of "should I stay or should I go?" surfaced a quieter, harder question — "maybe I’m the problem?"How a transformative experience at The Hoffman Process taught Billy that "forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past"How Jack Kornfield's challenge to "die of boredom on the meditation mat" taught Billy he could sit with anxiety — and survive itWhat months on the living room floor processing delayed grief taught Billy about inviting grief to "come have a seat" instead of running from itWhy healing isn't about feeling better — it's about feeling everything, and why finally trusting "I can handle it" changed everythingAbout Billy Kaitz:Billy is a recovering perfectionist and lifelong overthinker who spent years trying to be everything for everyone — while quietly leaving himself out of the equation. He built the life he thought would finally make him feel whole, only to discover that nothing was missing except his connection to himself. What followed was a messy, humbling journey through loss, therapy, and real human connection — learning that the most meaningful parts of life often sit behind the doors we spend years avoiding. Today, Billy is still doing that work in real time, choosing honesty over performance, and showing up as a devoted girl dad grounded in something far more real than perfection.Follow Billy on Instagram: @billkaitzConnect with Billy on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/billkaitzFind Billy on Facebook: facebook.com/bill.kaitzResources mentioned:The Hoffman ProcessKristin Neff's Self-CompassionAEDP Therapy (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy)About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler":The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

Today's conversation with CFP® and CDFA® Bridget Borel unpacks what divorce money fears are really about — and why it's not "how much?" but "will I be okay?"In this episode:Why a financial professional experienced helplessness and shame around the money side of her own divorce — compounded by losing her mother at the same time"Money isn't math, and math isn't money" — how this reframe changes everything about the financial side of divorceAccumulation vs. decumulation — why dividing a financial life you built together is fundamentally different from building it, especially in gray divorce"Show me your calendar and your checkbook, and I'll tell you what you value" — how money quietly reveals what matters mostDivorce as one of the single biggest financial transactions of your life — yes, it will be terrible, yes, it will take longer than you want, and no, it won't last foreverAbout Bridget Borel:Bridget Borel is a Certified Financial Planner® professional and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and the founder of Clairwell Financial Planning, a practice focused on gray divorcées. In addition to her technical expertise, she brings her own lived experience of divorce when serving her clients — her mission is to be the advisor she wishes she'd had when she went through her own. Bridget lives in Annapolis, Maryland, and is a lover of live music, good food, and the Chesapeake Bay.Learn more about Clairwell Financial Planning: https://clairwellfp.com/Subscribe to Clairwell Conversations on Substack: https://substack.com/@clairwellconversationsFollow Clairwell on Instagram: @clairwellfpConnect with Bridget on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bridget-borel-44177240/Episode-Specific Notes:This conversation offers general perspective on divorce-related financial planning and is not personalized financial, legal, or tax advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.Resources mentioned: For more on the "gray divorce" phenomenon, listen to The Oprah Podcast episode featuring Dr. Susan L. Brown, the sociologist who helped coin the term: Gray Divorce (after 50) & Adult Children: The Fallout for the FamilyAbout "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler":The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, mental health, or financial advice.

Today's conversation with licensed marriage and family therapist Shelly Stover reframes what "success" looks like in couples therapy — and explores how grief, attachment styles, and agency shape the path forward, whether that's choosing each other or choosing yourself.In this episode:Why attachment is a strategy, not a label — and how the same person can show up differently in different relationshipsHow childhood wounds and unmet needs show up in adult relationships, often in ways we don't recognizeWhat couples therapy actually looks like when it's working — the small physical and emotional shifts that signal real changeWhy couples therapy can be "working" even when it ends in a breakup — and the freedom in a conscious, deliberate divorceHow grief after divorce is fundamentally different from grief after death, and why it requires its own kind of healingWe all deserve to be chosen — and sometimes that means choosing ourselvesAbout Shelly Stover:Shelly is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in women's issues and relational trauma. She works with couples and individuals navigating major life transitions — helping them find a safe space to explore the grief, anxiety, identity shifts, and relational conflict that often surface during periods of change. Her approach is holistic, incorporating mindful and somatic exercises that teach clients how to listen to their bodies and learn to trust themselves. More than anything, she's a proud mother of two daughters.Learn more: https://www.shellystover.com/Find Shelly on Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/shelly-stover-studio-city-ca/1246644Connect on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/shelly-stover-lmft-a04938236About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler":The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, or mental health advice.

This is the first episode of what I'm calling "Dear Diary" — where I go back to my journals and share what I actually wrote during the hardest parts of my divorce. In this one, I revisit the contemplation years — and what I found is that I knew what I needed to do. I just didn't trust myself enough to do it.In this episode:The journal entries from early 2017 that reveal what I already knew — and couldn't yet act onWhat the contemplation phase actually looked like — the endless loop of therapy, journaling, and searching for an answer I already hadWhy I read a book with 36 diagnostic questions about my marriage and still landed on "I don't know"The fear underneath it all — that trusting myself and being wrong would be worse than staying stuckWhy indecision wasn't a lack of choosing — it was a choice in and of itselfWhat Bozoma Saint John taught me about intuition — and the question I'd ask anyone in the contemplation phase right nowAbout "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler":The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, or mental health advice.

Today's conversation with divorce attorney and mediator Mardi Chadwick-Balcom reframes divorce through the lens of the nervous system — and explores how staying regulated can change not just your experience, but also the outcomes you walk away with.In this episode:Mardi's early work in domestic violence law — and what it taught her about conflict, power, and the realities of family courtHer own divorce at 35 and the empathy it brought to her work with clients navigating high-conflict casesWhy even "winning" in divorce rarely feels like justice — because in the end, you're still breaking something in halfWhat it actually means to regulate your nervous system in the middle of divorce — including specific tools to experiment with to find what works for youHow lawyers and clients can co-regulate — and how tuning forks in court have led to calmer rooms and better outcomesAbout Mardi Chadwick-Balcom:Mardi is a divorce mediator, former litigation attorney, and nervous-system–informed coach with more than 25 years of experience in family law. After decades in traditional litigation, she shifted her practice toward integrative divorce mediation — blending legal strategy with neuroscience, somatic regulation, and emotional intelligence to help couples reach thoughtful, durable agreements. She is also the founder of Anchor + Rise Yoga and Coaching, where she teaches somatic yoga and breathwork to support people navigating major life transitions. Mardi lives in coastal Massachusetts.Learn more about Integrative Divorce Mediation: www.integrativedivorcemediation.comTry Mardi's Chakra Tapping: https://youtu.be/s2HK-nNhAEgDownload additional free resources: https://www.integrativedivorcemediation.com/store/free-resourceFollow her on Threads and Instagram: @integrativedivorcemediationFollow her on Facebook and LinkedIn: Mardi Chadwick-BalcomStay tuned for Mardi's upcoming podcast, "The Regulated Lawyer"If you or someone you know may be experiencing domestic abuse:You are not alone. Confidential support is available.Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)Text START to 88788Visit thehotline.org for live chat and local resourcesIf you are outside the U.S., search for domestic violence support services in your country or region.If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler":The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, or mental health advice.

Today’s conversation with men’s coach Luke Entrup explores how divorce can become the catalyst for radical self-examination and personal transformation — and the role “conscious bachelorhood” can play in men’s healing and growth.In this episode:How a structured discernment process helped Luke and his then-wife identify their unmet needs — and determine whether they were truly capable of meeting each other’s needsWhy Luke describes his divorce as one of the most catalytic periods of his life — and how he now supports other men through similar periods of transformationHow cleanses, erotic experiences, and “conscious bachelorhood” can help men heal from divorce and prepare for something deeper, more stable, and more committed in the futureHow masculinity, femininity, and gender dynamics can shape the way we experience divorceHow the role of marriage may be evolving — from safety and security toward growth and transformationAbout Luke Entrup:Luke Entrup is an Austin-based coach who helps men navigate relationship challenges and divorce — and the ensuing questions around identity, purpose, and broader life transformation. He works with founders, executives, and creative leaders through the consulting firm Evolution, where he focuses on leadership development, culture alignment, and high-performing teams. He has also co-founded several leadership and sustainability initiatives, including the Father-Son Connection Experience, a rite of passage for boys and their fathers.Learn more about one-on-one coaching: https://www.lukeentrup.com/Follow him on Instagram and TikTok: @lukeentrupRegister for The Father-Son Connection Experience: https://www.fathersonconnection.com/About "The D. Tales with Allison Kahler":The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, or mental health advice.

This is a story about outgrowing a love that shaped you — and realizing that love alone isn’t always enough to sustain a marriage.In this episode:Meeting at age 10, marrying at 27, and divorcing at 28 — growing up inside one love storyThe quiet voice that said something wasn’t right — even when nothing was “wrong”Cultural expectations, faith, and the martyr mindset that made leaving feel selfishThe realization that love is powerful — but not always enough for a lasting partnershipWhy she didn’t need a dramatic betrayal or a final “nail in the coffin” to walk awayStepping into Elena 3.0 — choosing self-trust, clarity, and a fuller version of herselfAbout Elena Mnayarji:Elena resides in Oakland, CA where she is completing her MBA program at UC Berkeley’s Haas School of Business. Previously, she worked in healthcare consulting and business development at Calm, where she focused on making workplace wellbeing an active conversation. Elena is a registered yoga teacher and passionate about somatic work, cognitive frameworks, emotional intelligence, and understanding why smart people get stuck.Follow her on Instagram and TikTok: @lenamnayarjiRead her Substack: https://cominghometoyourself.substack.com/About “The D. Tales with Allison Kahler”:The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, or mental health advice.

Today’s conversation with family law attorney and author Bree Sullivan-Howell explores what it takes to protect your future in divorce — without losing your peace or your faith in the process.In this episode:The costly mistakes people make when they sign divorce papers too quickly — and why some decisions can’t be undoneWhat it really means to “protect your future” in divorceWhy giving away your bottom line in negotiation weakens your leverageHow “legal abuse” shows up — and how to recognize itThe truth about alimony, trials, and what actually happens in courtWhy representing yourself can cost more than you thinkDebunking the idea that “God hates divorce”How faith can deepen — not disappear — during one of life’s hardest seasonsAbout Bree Sullivan-Howell:Bree is a family law attorney and author with more than 20 years of experience representing clients in divorce and custody matters. She is the founder of The Sullivan Firm and is known for blending strategic legal guidance with faith-informed perspective and practical wisdom. In addition to her courtroom and mediation work, Bree is the author of several books, including Crush Your Divorce & Keep Your Faith, where she explores how legal clarity and spiritual resilience can coexist during life’s most difficult transitions.Follow her on Instagram: @lawyerbree and @crushyourdivorceBuy Bree’s books: https://crushyourdivorce.com/Learn more about The Sullivan Firm: https://www.sullivan-firm.com/About “The D. Tales with Allison Kahler”:The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, or mental health advice.

This is a story about what happens when an outcomes-driven approach to love falls apart — and what emerges when you stop trying to “make it happen” and finally “let it happen” instead.In this episode:Andrea’s initial shame of being divorced twice before 40 — and the power of owning her narrative insteadThe disconnect between the suburban fantasy she once imagined and the more authentic, “blissfully happy” life she’s living nowWhat she learned during her time as a divorce coach — and the healing that happened alongside her clientsThe evolving relationship she’s had with motherhood, expectations, and identityThe shift from trying to “make it happen” to learning to “let it happen” — in love and in lifeAbout Andrea Javor:Andrea is a marketing executive and freelance writer based in Chicago. Her work has appeared in publications including Vogue, The Guardian, The Washington Post, HuffPost, and The Today Show, and she is currently working on her memoir. Across both her corporate leadership and her writing, Andrea is drawn to uncovering emotional truths, spotting patterns, and making meaning from the contradictions of being human.Read Andrea’s work: https://www.andreajavor.com/my-workFollow her on Instagram and Threads: @andreaejavorAbout “The D. Tales with Allison Kahler”:The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, or mental health advice.

Today’s conversation with California attorney-mediator Melissa Farag explains why “fair” is often the wrong goal in divorce — and what actually leads to better outcomes.In this episode:How Melissa’s upbringing and her own divorce experience shaped her passion for mediationWhat people usually mean when they say they want a “fair” divorce — and why that goal often backfiresThe three phases of the divorce legal process — and why understanding them mattersWhat mediation actually is (and isn’t), and what to consider when choosing a mediatorWhen mediation can be a powerful option — and when it’s not appropriateWhy redefining “success” in divorce can lead to outcomes people can actually live withAbout Melissa Farag:Melissa is a California-licensed attorney and mediator who focuses exclusively on helping people navigate divorce and custody with clarity, dignity, and less harm. After spending nearly a decade as a family law litigator, Melissa chose to shift her practice to mediation and one-on-one negotiation coaching, where she believes she can best support families seeking collaborative, respectful resolutions. Her work integrates deep legal expertise with a holistic approach that prioritizes equity, accountability, and minimizing trauma—especially for children. Melissa is trained in Insight Mediation, a certified Co-Parenting Specialist, and a volunteer mediator with the California Superior Court. She is also the host of the High Vibe Divorce podcast.About High Vibe Mediation and The High Vibe Divorce Podcast:Learn more about High Vibe Mediation: https://www.highvibemediation.com/Listen to the “High Vibe Divorce” podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow Melissa on Instagram: @highvibemediation and @highvibedivorceAbout “The D. Tales with Allison Kahler”:The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, or mental health advice.

Sometimes your body knows before your mind does.This is a story about listening to your body and intuition — and the permission it can take to follow what you already know.In this episode:Diana reflects on how childhood conditioning, religion, and cultural narratives shaped her understanding of love and marriageThe physical and emotional warning signs she ignored — and what her body was trying to tell her all alongA spiritual experience that gave her permission to leave when she felt most trappedWhat rock bottom actually looked like and how support began to show up afterwardHow healing trauma changed her relationship to herself, love, and safetyWhy calm — not butterflies — became her new measure of connectionAbout Diana Bitting:Diana is a San Francisco Bay Area–based product builder and marketing leader, with over a decade in high-growth, venture-backed startups. She’s the co-founder of Catbird Heal/th, a mission-driven company transforming the way the world heals from trauma. Her passion is personal: after navigating her own health challenges and seeing the cracks in modern medicine and talk therapy, she became devoted to creating solutions that heal from the core, not just manage symptoms. Outside of work, Diana is a Bhakti yoga instructor, holistic health enthusiast, psychonaut, and proud mom of two.About Catbird Heal/th:Catbird is a trauma recovery platform providing a path to true healing for the 150 million Americans suffering from chronic, trauma-related health challenges like inflammation, auto-immune disease, obesity and more.Learn more: https://www.catbirdclub.com/Start a free trauma quiz: https://www.catbirdclub.com/conciergeAbout “The D. Tales with Allison Kahler”:The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, or mental health advice.

This is a story about the quiet ache of not feeling seen — and what it takes to find your way to being deeply chosen again.In this episode:Anna shares what it was like to marry young, grow up together, and slowly grow apartHow a life that looked picture-perfect on the outside still felt lonely on the insideThe moment she realized she wasn’t being seen — and couldn’t unsee itWhy divorce doesn’t have to mean failure — and what it means for a marriage to be completeHow trusting her inner knowing reshaped her own love story — and the way she now helps others find love againAbout Anna Howerton:Anna is a relationship coach who splits her time between Raleigh, NC and Southern California. After navigating her own divorce and remarriage, Anna now works with individuals and couples who are seeking more authentic and aligned relationships — whether that means finding love, deepening connection, or thoughtfully ending a relationship that no longer fits. She’s also a mother of two and wife to her second husband, Mark.Connect with Anna:Follow her on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook: @annahowerton_Schedule a free strategy call: https://www.annahowerton.com/About “The D. Tales with Allison Kahler”:The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, or mental health advice.

Divorce isn’t a single event — it’s often years in the making.In this solo episode of The D. Tales, I share my story of the long, lonely years of divorce — and the shame and fear that made them so hard to talk about.In this episode:Why my divorce felt less like a single event and more like a decade-long transitionHow perfectionism, faith, and expectations made silence feel safer than honestyWhat the data reveals about how long — and lonely — divorce contemplation really isThe shame, fear, and self-blame I didn’t know how to name at the timeWhy I’m creating the podcast I wish had existed when I was going through itAn invitation to listen, reflect, and remember that you don’t have to do this aloneAbout “The D. Tales with Allison Kahler”:The D. Tales blends real divorce stories with grounded expert insight — helping you find clarity and courage to move forward on your own terms.Follow The D. Tales wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow along on Instagram: @thedtalespodcastLearn more at https://thedtalespodcast.comThis podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, medical, or mental health advice.

The D. Tales with Allison Kahler is a podcast about divorce and rebuilding life on the other side — blending real divorce stories with grounded conversations with experts to help you find clarity and move forward with courage.Whether you’re quietly questioning, actively separating, or thoughtfully rebuilding, this show creates space for the questions most people carry alone — and reminds you that you don’t have to navigate this transition on your own.Follow the show now so you don’t miss the launch.New episodes drop every Tuesday.Instagram: @thedtalespodcastWebsite: https://thedtalespodcast.com