The Dadversity Podcast

Welcome to The Dadversity Podcast! In this thought-provoking episode, coach Tom Palmer dives into the powerful topic: “People-Pleasing Isn’t Love – It’s Manipulation.” Tom unpacks the hidden dynamics of people-pleasing, exploring how this behavior can sabotage relationships and personal growth. This episode offers actionable insights for breaking free from this cycle and building healthier, more authentic connections.---Show Notes[00:00] Introduction to the EpisodeAn overview of the topic and why people-pleasing can often be misunderstood.[03:00] What Is People-Pleasing?Tom defines people-pleasing and discusses how it differs from genuine care and love.[08:15] The Manipulative Side of People-PleasingUnveiling the unconscious motives behind people-pleasing and how it can manipulate relationships.[12:30] Personal Stories and ExamplesTom shares relatable scenarios where people-pleasing takes hold and the consequences it creates.[18:00] Breaking the CycleStrategies for recognizing and overcoming the habit of people-pleasing.[22:45] Building Healthy RelationshipsHow to replace people-pleasing with authentic communication and self-respect.[27:00] Final ThoughtsTom summarises the key takeaways and leaves listeners with a powerful message about self-awareness and personal growth.

People-pleasing isn't love - it's manipulation by Tom Palmer This lesson goes live inside the Dadversity community on Friday 29th November.

Scott McCulloch is the Dad who built a company from £0 - £7m in revenue. We talk about that process, what sparked sobriety after turning 40 and training to take on endurance events around the world.Show Notes[00:00] Introduction to Scott McCullochNathan introduces Scott and reflects on connecting through LinkedIn.[02:00] Scott’s Current EndeavorsScott discusses his current freelance work in digital marketing and as a non-executive director, leveraging his experience scaling businesses.[03:45] Growing Up and Entrepreneurial RootsScott reflects on his upbringing, his father’s entrepreneurial spirit, and his early ventures to make extra income.[06:15] Working with Karris: Challenges and SuccessScott talks about balancing business and family life, sharing insights into the dynamics of working with his wife.[12:00] Turning Ideas into ActionScott explains how he and Karris transformed a casual conversation into a thriving business, combining their complementary skills.[15:00] Navigating Business ChallengesScott shares pivotal moments in growing a business, including securing investments and making tough decisions during challenging times.[20:30] Reflections on Market TrendsScott examines broader trends in consumer behavior, the impact of the cost-of-living crisis, and hopes for the future of sustainable living.[24:00] Post-Business Life: Sobriety and FitnessScott recounts his decision to quit drinking, take on Ironman challenges, and prioritize his health and family.[31:00] Thoughts on Sobriety and HappinessScott reflects on his drinking habits, the societal shift towards sobriety, and the balance between appreciating alcohol and recognizing its downsides.[36:00] Parenting in a Digital AgeScott discusses raising children in a world dominated by social media and maintaining a healthy perspective on modern challenges.[38:00] Quickfire QuestionsScott answers fun, rapid-fire questions, from his worst DIY fail to the best place he’s traveled.[40:00] Closing ThoughtsNathan thanks Scott for sharing his story and reflects on the inspiring lessons for dads balancing career, family, and personal growth.

[00:00:00] – Introduction • Nathan introduces the episode, welcoming guest Matt Tyler and playfully addressing their football rivalry.[00:01:15] – Matt’s Background • Matt discusses growing up in Birmingham, England, and reflects on his happy early childhood years, with family trips and local adventures.[00:03:15] – Chaotic Teenage Years and Bipolar Disorder • Matt describes his father’s bipolar disorder and its impact on his teenage years. He explains how this affected his family’s dynamics, community reputation, and led him to develop coping mechanisms, including heavy drinking.[00:06:45] – Challenges and Shame • Matt and Nathan discuss the social pressures and sense of shame that came from growing up in a household affected by mental health issues.[00:10:30] – Finding Escapes in Drinking • Matt details how his drinking escalated as he tried to cope with family and personal challenges. He reflects on the party culture and pressures of his teenage years.[00:14:45] – Breaking the Cycle and Becoming a Holiday Rep • Feeling the need to change his life’s direction, Matt took a job as a holiday rep in Greece, seeing it as an opportunity to escape his routine and environment.[00:18:00] – Meeting Emily on a Cruise Ship • Matt shares the story of meeting his wife, Emily, while working on a cruise ship, which marked a turning point in his life and helped him realise the need for deeper relationships.[00:24:15] – Life Changes and Fatherhood • Matt discusses how fatherhood has reshaped his priorities, describing the deep love and commitment he feels for his two daughters.[00:26:00] – Challenges with Family Connections • He reflects on the difficulties of involving his father in his daughters’ lives due to his father’s current health and living situation.[00:27:30] – Parenting Reflections • Matt talks about the challenges and growth he’s experienced as a dad, noting how his past drives him to ensure his daughters always feel loved.[00:31:00] – Finding Peace and Building a Toolbox • Matt emphasises the importance of developing healthy coping mechanisms (or a “toolbox”) for handling life’s stresses, sharing that running and self-reflection have been instrumental for him.[00:33:00] – Quick fire Round • Nathan and Matt wrap up with quick fire questions, where Matt describes fatherhood in one word (“rollercoaster”) and reveals his hidden talent and childhood dream job.[00:35:15] – Outro and Dadversity Community Update • Nathan invites listeners to join the Dadversity community, where dads can access free coaching and support for tackling life’s challenges.

We go beyond the headlines to uncover the real story of Clark Carlisle. Who is Clarke? What drives a footballer, so adored to feel like he had to drink to forget. Clarke shares his experiences with suicide attempts. Covert and blatant racism. We discussed his incredible dad, a footballer, shaped by a broken system in the seventies and eighties. And finally Clark reflects on his experiences of fatherhood. He promotes the idea of not forcing a neurotypical world on his incredible neurodiverse daughter.This is a story of Clark Carlisle.

Steve Cardwell is creating the most productive dads on the planet with his Peak Week model. There are four key parts:1. Daily Gold StandardsThe absolute essential things in your life that happen every day.Examples: sleep, gym, school drop offs, lunch etc.2. High & Low Leverage TasksHigh leverage = the things that move you forward as a person in life, in business or as a parent.Low leverage = the small things that need to be done to make sure they don't become a problem.3. Task LogCreating massive lists of jobs that can't be done applies huge mental pressure.Storing them in a specific doc which can be tackled in line with the rest of your weekly tasks makes much more sense.4. Play TimeGoing for a beer with your mates to watch the football? Get it in the calendar. Communication can make or break relationships.Building your Peak Week isn't just about saving 10 hours a week and having an organised calendar.It's about progress for you and your family with the things that matter.

Scott Mair is one of the most sought after coaches in the UK. His knowledge on all things dad life finds himself delivering talks with some of the biggest brands.On this episode, he discusses 'the emotional rollercoaster' of becoming a new dad: anxiety, pressure, joy, reality check.He also provides really practical ways to solve some of the challenges that you're facing as a first-time dad.

Laura Allen helps dads to build their career with intention.You might be working your way through a corporate career and feeling emotionally withdrawn from the 40+ hours every week.Laura will walk through the triggers that you need to look out for, and explain why it's never too late to make a change! You'll also receive the full framework on how to redesign the career of your dreams.

Ebiere Bolu talks through the dynamic of 'sibling rivalry.'When you've had a child, and that child then becomes a bigger brother or sister, you're going to face some challenges driven by connection and jealousy!Ebiere will share the 5 skills that you need to learn to tackle sibling rivalry.

The relationship expert, Tom Palmer, talks about why high-performing dads are often terrible at building stronger relationships with their wives/partners at home. He's broken it down into the difference of skills and behaviours required in both environments. Can you guess which is which?Logic > feelingsEfficiency > patienceProblem-solving > presenceCompetitiveness > collaborationEmotional suppression > emotional availability"Relationships aren't a problem to be solved, they're a thing to be nurtured."

Mikey Moon brings together a really simple strategy for dads to slowly start getting fitter. There are five steps to consider:1. Move more - really basic, but just start moving.2. Nutrition review - clean up your nutrition. Eat whole foods, cut down on the bad stuff - we know what's good and bad.3. Sleep routine - difficult with youngsters, but try to apply some level of consistency, even if it's reducing screen time before bed.4. Apply structure - go back to #1 and #2, apply structure around the activity. Start planning workouts, meal plans - join a gym. 4-6 weeks in5. Progressive overload - you're in a routine, you have a plan, start to ramp it up by adding more weight or more steps. Ramp it up! 

Day 14 since the community went live. Another busy one.Clarke Carlisle confirmed for the podcast. That's going to be a live stream inside the Dadversity community.I've included some of the ideas and features that we're building too.Until tomorrow!

Episode 20. Time flies! This is a personal one.It's the 10th September, 2024. We're a couple of weeks out from launching the website and the community. It's taken so much effort and energy to get to this point. You know when something lives rent free in your mind?! Dadversity has been the thing. But I love it. I love the potential. I love the feelings people have towards the concept.So, as a celebration of the launch, I'm sharing my own story of why Dadversity exists.

**This show includes references to suicide**This is Scott Shillum. Dad of 2. Exceptional talent in the world of media. On the face of it everything looks pretty normal. Then you dig deeper and realise the heartache and subsequent steel this dad has acquired as he recovered from losing his twin brother, Dan, to suicide.

You know what's funny? How quickly society judges people who have lots of children.When you tell someone you have 7 kids, their eyes widen, their breath intake becomes sharp. It's usually followed by some comment about how mad or how crazy you are - or even how inept they would be in your position.Scott Mair - 7 boys in with his incredible wife - is changing the conversation around having kids. He's dispelling some of the age-old cliches on parenting and leading with empathy and deep thought to create an environment that fosters the most incredible relationship with his boys.We should probably mention that they're all home-schooled at this point.This is Scott's story. Anything other than conventional.

It's the news that no family wants to receive.From travelling the world without a care in the world to impending personal crisis. It's a sobering story of adversity lurking around the corner. This is the incredible story told by Jon Stanners, a young dad, and his wife, Laura, who managed to not only beat cancer, but remained totally positive throughout the process.

Meet Ben Hughes aka Yeh Yeh Ben.An incredible musical career, inspired by learning the fundamentals from his dad, has led Ben to perform at a high-level. Suddenly everything changed. Covid decimated the industry for artists. Live performances stopped, and Ben had to get creative to find a way of generating revenue.Ben talks about transitioning as a father, the importance of committing to something as a kid and his hope for the future! Enjoy the show.

We were very fortunate to hear the thoughts on Angela Karanja, creator of Raising Remarkable Teenagers.Angela talks about her three step framework to help parents inspire their teenagers with a leadership mentality: Modelling, Mentoring, Motivating.Each step is broken down during this session, so be sure to practice some of the stuff you hear in this high energy episode. It's powerful! 

Two for Joy is the incredible story of twins Alice & Tommy who defied all odds following the heartbreaking diagnosis of quadriplegic cerebral palsy.Listen to James' recollection of how this incredible family turned despair into unrelenting positivity.OverviewJames' childhood: The incredible opportunities it afforded him, and his well-grounded family dynamicMeeting the love of his life, Georgie, in week 1 of University lifeThe journey of IVF, including a chance meeting with four magpiesManaging a premature birthThe emotions of the diagnosis which would change their family life forever

Bernie Hollywood: The Relentless GiverBernie was inspired by his mum and dad, who he sadly lost by the time he'd hit 23. Their memory lives on through Bernie's relentless mission to give back to the world.Since then he's launched and supported charities to give young people opportunities, rowed across the Atlantic and support school builds in Africa.

What's the role of a dad?Are you a mature parent?How are we supposed to deal with sibling rivalry?Big questions. 34 minutes. Let's go.

It's not lost on me just how brave the dads are that appear on this show. It's why I think Dadversity is the greatest podcast on the planet. There's no agenda. It's just a bunch of dads with interesting stories to share.Dan Light is a dad to four boys, including twins. One of his boys was diagnosed with ARFID. It's an eating disorder that adds real complexity to daily life - huge ups and downs.Huge thanks to Dan for sharing his story. Top man!Nathan

Dadversity sat down with Liam Back to discuss the journey to becoming a dad when your child is premature. Of all the topics you discuss when you're having a baby - 'what if it comes 12 weeks early' - isn't top of the list for most parents. Sadly, it's a reality for a lot of parents across the world. In 2021, 53,000 babies were born prematurely in the UK alone. 6% were extremely preterm (before 28 weeks).You're about to step into the shoes of a dad who was forced into a world of helplessness as his child was part of the 6%.

How does a really happy kid develop such significant trauma? Meet Tim, a world-leading Emotional Coach who helps dads to tackle previous trauma.Tim lived through the worst drug and alcohol-fuelled moments to totally transform his life, and go on to positively impact the lives of 800+ people.It's possible to tackle trauma.

Karin Palm is all about being present in the moment to enable conscious thinking and logical decision making.Dads will learn how to:Refocus their attention on the nowGet out of a he does/she does war with their partnersEnd all judgement of yourself for good

Welcome to the first episode of The Mortgage Show with Mikey Johnson.We asked the Dadversity community about their mortgage challenges. Unsurprisingly, rising interest rates were right up there. Mikey gave some unbelievable advice on how dads can tackle that with The Mortgage Charter. Never heard of it? No, me neither.Here are the questions that we put to Mikey. Enjoy the show:Q: My mortgage is due to expire in May 2024. What would you recommend doing? We signed a 2-year fixed at 2.4%.Q: How much can we borrow with joint salaries of £96,000Q: We have around £100k equity in our house, and would like to borrow to buy a 2nd property. Would you recommend doing that now or waiting?Q: What are the main differences between interest-only and repayment mortgages?Q: Would you recommend any specific lenders after being self-employed for under 6 months?

Does the environment dictate your outcomes? I think so, and so does Dave Gibbons.But how did he manage to progress from a council estate in Manchester, through to generating millions in revenue, when other people don't reach that level of success with way more foundational tools?It's a fascinating story where this dad realised that building products and services was the only way to move forward, and he made incredible progress.Listen to the challenges, balancing family life and learning more about why he had to scale back eventually.This is The Dynamic Dad ft Dave Gibbons.

Christian Hoyle: The Bounceback Dad.Christian has seen so much adversity in his life, that it's almost become second nature to create frameworks for tackling challenges that haven't arrived yet.He's mastered his mind, brushes off challenges and constantly pushes forward.

Ben Moore doesn't believe in convention, and it's his pursuit of innovating and staying away from the beaten track that's brought huge success in his career and his life.But how did this dad build up to this point? 

This is the story of Ian Macbeth, one of the most driven dads we've met so far in Dadversity. Interviewing Ian felt like interviewing a dad that's created a mindset of always going after what's next, and never settling for what you have. When you peel back the layers, there's a real sense of resilience, confidence and desire to test himself, just to see how far he can climb.After completing his first 100-mile race, he found adversity in the shape of failing to complete another. Was the first race a fluke, or did this dad have the mental fortitude to come back and do it again?

The road to sobriety is different for every day who begins their journey. It's no different for this dad, who opens up on kicking the bad habits that plagued his teens and 20's. The recovery was inspiring, and as I listened to the story, I got a real sense of just how much effort this dad has put into transforming his life and becoming the best possible example to his son.

Jason Donnelly is the Creative Director and best-selling author who, quite literally, froze his mid-life crisis away. A fascinating journey which started with cold ice baths has culminated in a 30-kilo weight loss in just over 6-months. Learn how this dad moved forward.