The Ethan C. Lewin Podcast

I would like to say 52 weeks and 52 episodes flew by but I really can't. It's been long, rewarding, uncomfortable at times, and... really, really good for me.I was reluctant to be in the guest seat but Tony refused to let me off the hook and I'm glad he didn't. Tony did a great job keeping it grounded, using me as the lens to reflect on the podcast, the people, the stories, and what it's actually meant to show up 52 times in a row. We talk about how this journey has helped me become more present and curious, why I'm drawn to uncomfortable conversations, and how a lot of that comes from wanting answers myself.Most of all, this one is a thank you. To every guest who trusted me enough to share their story. To everyone who's listened, reached out, or told me to keep going.Tony ends by asking what's next and the answer is simple: we're going to keep chuggin'.I cannot believe I am saying this… and at the same time I can. Welcome to Episode 52.Check Out:Episodes 0-51 Elevate the ExperienceHelp bring better audio, video, and filmed episodes to life: Venmo. I tithe 10% of all contributions—half to the All Secure Foundation (supporting soldiers’ transition home) and half to the Academy of the New Church High School.Stay ConnectedContact: https://ethanclewin.com/A Note from MeI’m inspired by the stories people carry, the power of honest feedback, and the magic that happens when creative minds connect. If you’re a brand interested in partnering, let’s talk: LinkedIn.Thanks for being part of this journey—PEACE!

“This is going to be a pretty dark interview… with suicide, Islamic dreaming, jihad… it may get a little dark. But anyhow, it is what it is, I guess. Welcome to my life.”There you have it — straight from Ben himself. Hard to top an introduction like that. But I will add this: beneath all the darkness Ben deeply cares. And despite the weight of the conversation, we shared a lot of laughs too.Ben Pendleton was born into a family deeply affected by mental illness — and as he openly shares, he didn’t quite dodge that bullet himself either. As we discover, his love of religion and inner spiritual struggle have helped him make meaning of his own suffering, his sibling’s, and others’.Ben served in the United States Marine Corps, reported from Afghanistan during the Soviet-Afghan War in 1983, and in 1991 photographed and interviewed legendary Afghan resistance commander Ahmad Shah Massoud. Ben introduced me to a side of Islam, poetry, and the Middle East I likely never would have explored on my own.As Ben says, afterward he went back to working construction — “boringly, scraping paint.” Well… I’m not sure I quite buy that. You can decide for yourself.I feel genuinely lucky to bring Ben’s story, and in many ways the parts of ourselves we often wrestle with most, to you.Welcome to Episode 51.Check Out:Ben’s page: The Use of Dreams in Islamic Jihad (@benyameenp)Caleb’s Café: 583 Hawk Mountain Road, Kempton, PA (normally open Saturdays 8am–2pm)Book Recs & Related Material:Massoud: An Intimate Portrait of the Legendary Afghan Leader — Marcela GradTo the Mountains: My Life in Jihad from Algeria to Afghanistan — Abdullah AnasThe Dream in Islam: From Qur’anic Tradition to Jihadist Inspiration — Iain R. EdgarSurah Yusuf (Qur’an, Chapter 12) “Song of the Bow” (David’s lament for Saul) New Church WritingsArcana Coelestia (full text archive) - see numbers 1975-1983Arcana Coelestia (Elliott), AC 5091Spiritual Experiences (#8) The Heavenly City, A Spiritual Guidebook #269Divine Providence 326Elevate the ExperienceHelp bring better audio, video, and filmed episodes to life: Venmo. I tithe 10% of all contributions—half to the All Secure Foundation (supporting soldiers’ transition home) and half to the Academy of the New Church High School.Stay ConnectedContact: https://ethanclewin.com/A Note from MeI’m inspired by the stories people carry, the power of honest feedback, and the magic that happens when creative minds connect. If you’re a brand interested in partnering, let’s talk: LinkedIn.Thanks for being part of this journey—PEACE!

John Rienstra was drafted ninth overall in the 1986 NFL Draft by the Pittsburgh Steelers and later played for the Cleveland Browns. He played under Chuck Noll, Bill Belichick, and Bruce Arians — coaches who combined for 11 Super Bowl rings. He was nicknamed The Raging Rhino. At his peak, he could total over 2,000 pounds in powerlifting.But there was always an unseen side. Since his first year at Temple, John battled crippling anxiety and panic attacks — often so severe that the only way through them was to vomit before every game. He hid it for a long time. And when coaches eventually did find out, the way they handled it said a lot about the era he played in.What John and I really dig into today is the full arc — from a boarding school dorm room in Bryn Athyn to the NFL, and everything that came after: More than 20 surgeries. Teammates who died and were posthumously diagnosed with CTE. Going from a first-round pick salary to essentially starting over. From lifting 2,000 pounds to not being able to bench 10. John is living with the cognitive effects of a career's worth of repetitive head injuries and has been part of the NFL concussion lawsuit for over two decades. His story is a hard one. But John tells it like it is, and I admire him for it — and I think you'll walk away seeing football, and a lot of other things, in a completely different light.Check Out:Penn Sports Live Podcast with John RienstraA Quiet Warrior, The Story of Former NFL Player  Elevate the ExperienceHelp bring better audio, video, and filmed episodes to life: Venmo. I tithe 10% of all contributions—half to the All Secure Foundation (supporting soldiers’ transition home) and half to the Academy of the New Church High School.Stay ConnectedContact: https://ethanclewin.com/A Note from MeI’m inspired by the stories people carry, the power of honest feedback, and the magic that happens when creative minds connect. If you’re a brand interested in partnering, let’s talk: LinkedIn.Thanks for being part of this journey—PEACE!

Martha is a coach, a listener, and what she calls a "lay midwife for women's spirits" — someone who helps people come home to themselves.She’s also my godmother. She's known me since before I knew myself. That should be enough said.In this episode, we talk about what it means to truly see someone, why anger is almost always thwarted love, the stories we carry that keep us small, and why the hardest parts of our lives might be exactly what we were handed on purpose.Just Martha and me, doing what we've always done.Welcome to Episode 49.Elevate the ExperienceHelp bring better audio, video, and filmed episodes to life: Venmo. I tithe 10% of all contributions—half to the All Secure Foundation (supporting soldiers’ transition home) and half to the Academy of the New Church High School.Stay ConnectedContact: https://ethanclewin.com/A Note from MeI’m inspired by the stories people carry, the power of honest feedback, and the magic that happens when creative minds connect. If you’re a brand interested in partnering, let’s talk: LinkedIn.Thanks for being part of this journey—PEACE!