The Feminine Outliers

In this episode, Choolwe and Zelda discuss the psychological, mental, and emotional shifts that happen when moving from a home country to a host country, beyond cultural shock. They explore code-switching and self-filtering in workplaces and social spaces, the pressure to blend in rather than stand out, and how adaptation can become a survival mechanism tied to hypervigilance and hyper-independence. They reflect on identity changes like being more conscious about wearing African prints, language nuances, and shifting expectations around community support and the need to adapt to local norms without losing core parts of oneself. The conversation highlights how living abroad can expose “bad” customs to drop, “good” customs to keep, and new possibilities that expand mindset, goals, and definitions of success.00:00 New Beginnings Abroad01:09 Podcast Welcome01:55 Hidden Shifts After Moving04:23 Filtering Yourself06:15 Code Switching Explained09:08 Blending In vs Standing Out12:30 Hyper Independence Mode17:30 Asking for Help Abroad21:08 Adapting Without Losing You23:22 Expectations From Your Own26:12 Nostalgia Versus Growth27:13 Choosing Progressive Community28:44 Adapting Without Losing Culture29:57 Identity Anchors And Joy32:20 Keep Your Core Self33:54 Embracing Accent And Nuances36:11 Handling Judgment With Confidence38:46 Shifting Goals In New Countries41:13 Breaking Ceilings And Survival Mode44:09 Success Is Scary Too45:30 Listener Questions And FarewellLeave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this episode, we discuss whether people are primarily driven by logic or emotion, sharing how being more logic-driven can create frustration when others communicate emotionally, especially through long, detailed stories or heightened reactions. We talk about the need for emotional intelligence and better communication—acknowledging feelings while staying clear on what can and can’t be solved. We emphasize personal responsibility, emotional resilience, curiosity before blame, and taking time to cool down before reacting, concluding that both logic and emotion are valuable and that balance is essential. 00:00 Welcome Back + Today’s Question: Driven by Logic or Emotion?01:10 Why Logic vs Emotion Matters (and Why It’s a Pet Peeve)02:54 Processing Styles: Storytelling, Patience, and Emotional “Pacing”07:09 Can Logical People Be Romantic? Media Bias & Mental Intimacy08:55 Movies That Make No Sense: Romance, Horror, and “Logical” Plots13:17 Anime Example: Maomao (Apothecary Diaries) and Logic-Led Characters14:15 Dating as a Logical Woman: When Romance Lines Don’t Land18:00 Real-Life Logic at Work: Hospital Frustrations & Emotional Families22:29 Emotional Etiquette: Acknowledge Feelings, Then Redirect to Solutions24:32 Not Everyone Has to Match Your Mood26:28 Staying Calm Under Pressure: Hospital & Scuba Diving Examples29:00 Use Curiosity to Defuse Anger (Driving & Daily Triggers)32:09 Life Comes in Seasons: Choosing Your Reaction35:00 Dating, Relationships & Balancing Logic With Emotion40:00 Cooling Down Before You Respond (and Why Bridges Burn)42:25 Emotional Resilience as the Real Test of Character43:52 Being the ‘Logical One’ in an Emotional World47:22 Personality Types Tease: INTJ/ENTJ and the Next Episode49:04 Final Takeaway: Balance Logic and Emotion + Where to Find UsLeave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this episode, Choolwe and Zelda engage in a heart-to-heart discussion about the challenges and nuances of maintaining family connections while living abroad. Reflecting on their own experiences of living in the US and the UK with family back in Zambia and Kenya, they explore the frequency of family communication, the role of technology like WhatsApp groups, to the cost of missing important family milestones. They also delve into how one adapts and changes in a new country and the impact it has on familial relationships. Join the conversation and share your own experiences of loving family from afar.00:00 Introduction and Family Communication Dynamics01:06 Welcome to The Feminine Outliers01:54 Navigating Family Relationships from Afar03:59 Balancing Independence and Family Ties08:09 The Role of Technology in Family Connections20:07 Visiting Family: When and How?26:30 Travel Mindsets and Preferences27:05 Challenges of Traveling from Africa29:47 Emotional Costs of Living Abroad32:56 Missing Family Milestones34:25 Holiday Nostalgia and Cultural Differences37:45 Balancing Work and Family During Holidays41:55 Changing Identities and Family Dynamics44:56 Maintaining Connections from Afar50:19 Conclusion and Call to Share ExperiencesLeave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Welcome back to the Feminine Outliers Podcast! In this episode, we tackle the topic of beauty standards and how they are influenced by cultural perceptions. We share personal anecdotes and discuss the impact of Western beauty ideals on black women, the challenges of embracing natural hair, and the importance of self-acceptance. We also highlight the significance of building a supportive environment and maintaining healthy self-esteem. Tune in for an insightful conversation about redefining beauty standards and embracing authenticity. 00:00 Introduction and Hosts Welcome 00:21 Today's Topic: Beauty Standards 00:53 Personal Experience with Hair and Beauty Standards 03:01 Discussion on Hair Perception and Compliments 07:52 Cultural Differences in Beauty Perception 20:23 Fitness and Body Image 23:22 Conclusion and Final Thoughts 24:31 Embracing Unconventional Beauty 26:05 The Strength in Self-Acceptance 26:40 Challenges of Beauty Standards 28:14 Natural Hair and Cultural Pressures 29:14 Questioning Beauty Norms 30:22 The Role of Media and Movements 36:17 Practical Hair Care Tips 38:41 Simplifying Hair Care 44:44 Building Self-Esteem and Health 46:23 Conclusion and Podcast Information Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this episode of the Feminine Outliers Podcast, we delve into the complexities of accents, attitudes, and assumptions that arise when living abroad or in a multicultural environment. We share personal experiences about cultural misunderstandings and the biases faced due to different accents. The discussion touches on how accents can affect perceptions of intelligence and competence, both in social and professional settings. We also highlight the importance of embracing differences, expanding one's mindset, and being curious about other cultures. Join the conversation and share your thoughts on navigating identity beyond borders.00:00 Introduction and Initial Thoughts00:37 Welcome to the Family Lias Podcast00:58 Accents, Attitudes, and Assumptions01:52 Experiences with British and American English03:52 Challenges with Language and Communication04:46 Navigating Cultural Differences07:25 Perceptions and Biases in Language09:37 The Impact of Accents on Perception11:56 Relatability and Bias in Communication16:22 Discrimination Based on Speech23:46 Regional Accents and Stereotypes26:05 Stories of Immigrant Professionals27:00 The Importance of Curiosity27:29 Navigating Conversations as an Introvert28:03 Respect and Understanding in Communication28:45 Dealing with Stereotypes and Assumptions30:45 Challenges of Being a Female Doctor38:39 Strategies for Addressing Bias41:24 Embracing Differences and Change47:34 Conclusion and Call to ActionLeave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this episode, we dive into 'The Art of Consistency'. Choolwe shares her fitness journey and insights on staying motivated. We discuss the challenges of transitioning our podcast from audio to video, the importance of planning, and how identifying with your goals can keep you on track. We explore how external factors and personal discipline play roles in achieving long-term goals. Whether it's fitness, podcasting, or personal growth, this episode offers valuable insights to help you stay consistent in your endeavours. Tune in and let's explore the journey together! 00:00 Introduction and Personal Milestones00:48 Welcome to the Feminine Outliers Podcast01:04 The Art of Consistency01:24 Challenges and Growth in Podcasting02:16 Personal Reflections on Fitness03:13 Consistency in Life and Work11:38 The Journey of Medical School and Residency14:32 Perfection vs. Consistency18:03 Fitness and Discipline21:28 The Power of Identifying with Your Goals22:37 The Role of Accountability in Consistency25:16 Balancing Motivation and Realism26:12 The Impact of Social Media on Focus28:02 Creating a Plan to Stay Consistent28:26 Adapting Goals to Personal Rhythms32:51 Protecting Your Energy and Willpower34:14 Practical Tips for Staying on Track39:22 Final Thoughts and Listener Engagement Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this episode we delve into the world of Double Standards that exist in this world especially from the Western and non-Western view points. We tap into our experiences as African women who have experienced some of these double standards.00:00 Welcome Back to the Feminine Outliers Podcast02:34 Discussing Double Standards: Western vs Non-Western03:25 Expat vs Immigrant: A Deep Dive10:37 Personal Experiences and Observations19:17 The Power of Labels and Media Narratives22:40 Media's Negative Portrayal of Non-Western Countries23:11 Perceptions of America from Abroad23:39 The Illusion of the Western Dream24:54 Psychological Impact of Media Narratives27:42 Questioning the Narrative29:12 The Power of Marketing and Perception32:56 Conspiracy Theories and Critical Thinking35:57 Reflecting on Double Standards42:33 Conclusion and Call to ActionLeave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Join Zelda and Choolwe as they dive into the multifaceted topic of Black women's health. From physical health issues like vitamin D and iron deficiencies to the emotional and mental health challenges encountered in the western world, this episode explores a wide spectrum of health-related experiences and insights. This engaging conversation also delves into societal pressures, family expectations, and the critical importance of self-care and health advocacy. Tune in to hear personal stories, expert opinions, and valuable advice aimed at empowering Black women to prioritize their well-being.00:00 Welcome to the Feminine Outliers Podcast00:42 Introduction to Black Women's Health01:24 Personal Health Journeys02:34 Common Health Issues in Black Women05:01 Exploring the Why Behind Health Trends10:41 Impact of Hair Products on Health13:53 Cultural Standards and Health20:25 Physical Health and Cultural Norms21:26 Emotional and Mental Health22:20 Unexpected Hair Store Encounter22:43 Navigating Social Judgments23:55 Cultural Adaptation and Stereotypes27:03 Challenges in Professional Spaces29:44 Emotional and Mental Health Struggles31:28 The Importance of Self-Care34:43 Family Expectations and Stress42:36 Taking Control of Your Health45:26 Engage with Us Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this  episode, Choolwe and Zelda share their experiences as African women in STEM fields working in the western world. They discuss the unique pressures and mental exhaustion that come with high-functioning careers like medicine and engineering, while also highlighting the rewarding aspects of their professions. They delve into the competitive nature of STEM, the importance of compartmentalization to handle stress, and the need for a work-life balance to prevent burnout. They also touch on common misconceptions about STEM careers and emphasize the value of seeking help and embracing growth. This episode aims to motivate students and non-STEM professionals by providing a candid look at both the challenges and the fulfilling moments in STEM careers, offering valuable insights for those considering this path.00:00 Welcome to the Feminine Outliers Podcast00:28 Catching Up: Life Updates and Work Experiences03:16 The Realities of STEM Careers07:30 Unspoken Truths and Challenges in Medicine and Engineering12:05 Balancing High-Functioning Careers and Personal Life23:59 Transitioning from Specialization to Podcasting25:05 Embracing Failure and Learning New Skills26:10 Perfectionism and Its Challenges27:07 Balancing Professional Skills with Creativity27:36 The Misconceptions of Being Highly Skilled30:51 The Emotional Detachment in Medicine39:47 Burnout in High-Stress Professions44:50 Final Thoughts and Listener EngagementLeave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Life is about the adventures you take and the memories you make. Join us while we talk about Zelda's recent trip to Japan. Hope this inspires you to travel!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

We are back and we are doing video now. Tune in to learn about what we have been up to and our plans for the podcast. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Hey Outliers, it has been said that one thing that is constant is change. Its constantly taking place whether we bury our heads in the sand or are willing to look at it straight in the eye. Tune in to learn more about navigating change. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Hair is something that is naturally a part of us yet it can feel foreign to many of us black women. In this episode we talk about some of our hair struggles as two black women that are working on embracing their natural tresses.Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Welcome to Patient Diaries! Dr. Zee's recollection of her many interesting patient encounters / stories that are both enriching yet entertaining. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

How are people using their power? Are some celebrities abusing their power? Is power the root of all evil?Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Women in leadership- something that technically should be normal but the world is still getting used to it / has not accepted it. How does it feel to be a female leader? What are some of the barriers we face? Tune in to this episode and let us know your thoughts as well!.Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Politics play a daily and pivotal role in our lives whether we are conscious about it or not but how much attention do we give it? Stay tuned to hear our thoughts. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Education: something most of us are familiar with. But how important is education in our lives and do we really need it? Tune in and hear our thoughts on it!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Have you ever wondered if you could control and manage your emotions? Zel and I dive into a love and pet peeve of ours-emotional intelligence! We talk about what it means to be emotionally intelligent and the practices associated with it. Can you relate?Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this episode, we delve into what it means to be a woman in our current society and what are the cultural shifts that have to be made to accommodate these shifts for both men and women. Tune also to learn what we have unlearned this week. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this episode we dive into our current experiences of building generational wealth-the messaging we grew up with and what the current limitations are in building wealth. Again, without discussing it, we have similar unlearning pieces and so tune in to learn moreLeave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this episode we talk about some of our pet-peeves. This is a fun, mostly light-hearted episode. What are some of your pet-peeves? Enjoy!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this episode, we talk about how our Identities have been shaped by our moves to the Western world and how it affects our daily lives / how we interact with others.Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Religion is fundamental to many people as they identify with it but how often do we step back and think about our faith and how we practice it. In this episode, we open up this discussion and delve into our upbringing, current religious experiences and some of the extremes and limitations of religion. Tune in to learn more and hear about what we have been unlearning also this week. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Burnout is something that many of us experience. In this episode, we talk about workplace burnout specifically and how it has impacted us in our professional careers. Hopefully you learn something new!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Patriarchal societies have been in existence for a very long time. In this episode, we dive into the challenges we face with this kind of system in today's modern world; the impact it has on both men and women. We also have great unlearning pieces. Tune in to hear more. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this travel episode, we talk about our recent United Kingdom Trip: what we learnt from this trip, our favorite parts of the trip and the less desirable parts as well. Welcome to another fun-loving episode!Disclaimer: Apologies for the sound quality with this episode. We did our best to edit it but did have a few hiccups. We do however believe that it is still an enriching episode worth a listen.Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Let's face it...the media is a very powerful tool and a big part of our everyday life. It shapes our view of our lives. However, do we stop to question what we consume and whether what is presented in the media is truly our reality.  In this episode, we dive into how media has shaped our experiences and ways we can manage this part of our life that we do not have full control of.  Press the play button to learn more.  Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

We are back! And this time we are reflecting on what are the symptoms and traits of self-sabotage and how we deal with it. We think its a good time to think about it seeing that half of the year is already gone! Could self sabotage be the reason you are not on track to reaching your goals? Tune in to find out!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

If you are not working for yourself, you are probably working with other people and that alone comes with its own pros and cons. We dive into what workplace culture means and how to navigate it. Tune in to find out more. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this episode we go over some moral dilemmas, some fun others serious and see how we would handle these situations. Enjoy this light-hearted yet thought-provoking episode!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Ubuntu is a Zulu word directly translating into the phrase "I am because we are". It centers around the ideology of  humanity and community. How can we live and evolve while serving  each other?  Community is a very big part of the African culture and we reflect on the benefits and limitations we have experienced and observed with "Ubuntu-ness".  How do we embrace Ubuntu-ness in a way that makes us feel whole, joyful and willing to serve each other? Tune in to find out more. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Minimalism: do you love it or hate it?  This is a concept that a lot of the world has embraced in different ways .  In this episode, we discuss how minimalism has become  a part of our lives. Enjoy!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

We dive into this phenomenon that most of us tend to experience especially when acclimating to new environments, people and skills. We discuss our experiences with imposter syndrome and how we have managed to deal with it. Tune in to find out if you can relate. Could this be holding you back in your career or preventing you from achieving your goals?Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Friendships are a valuable part of our lives, but keeping up with them varies in the different stages of our lives. In this episode, we dive into what maintaining friendships means to us, especially as adults.Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Choolwe and Zelda explore their travelling styles in their first Q and A session on travel. They of course dive into their unlearning pieces for the week. Tune in and find out if you can relate to their travelling styles. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this episode we discuss what it was  like growing up as African  females in patriarchal societies. We are barely scratching the surface in regards to this topic but believe this will be an interesting listen!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Career Series Episode 2: In this episode, we delve into the myths surrounding Engineers from Choolwe's perspective. It is an enlightening but fun yet educative episode- enjoy!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Zel and I sit down to look at the people that we look up to and help us grow into the better versions of ourselves. We appreciate the great work that these people are doing and we would like to give them a shout out.  Tune in to find out if they are also your inspiration. And what would life be without unlearning?  Another reason to hit the play button to discover what we have unlearned this week.Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

In this episode we discuss the advantages and disadvantages of a "regular" or "conventional" 9-5pm job. We hope this episode is enlightening to all!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

We all know the things we need to do to stay healthy and keep fit? But what is keeping us stuck and from not achieving our goals in this area of our lives. We delve into the barriers we have experienced. Can you also relate to us with these barriers? Of course, we have unlearned a couple of things this week, hint it is Adulting 102 not 101. Tune in to find out more!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

On this episode, we dive into the world of the myths that surround Doctors/physicians. In particular, we delve into what people think doctors are and what they are not, based off the experience of Dr. Zelda Wasao. Enjoy!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

 Choolwe and Zelda discuss how and where you find the people you want to spend the most time with. Is it time to reset your community as you work on your 2024 goals? Also, tune in to find out what they have unlearned this week. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

This is a fun-filled episode with light-hearted ideas of things to try in 2024- The Zelda and Choolwe versions. These are the fun things we would like to accomplish in 2024, some of which include "Bucket-list Items".  It is nice to set up light-hearted goals for yourself in addition to your regular New Years Resolutions- Enjoy!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

We would like to apologize for the background noise and echoes that you may hear during this recording. We are working to resolve this matter ensuring this does not happen again. We still believe that the episode is worth the release. Thank you for your understanding. Love Zelda and Choolwe. We are back for 2024! Before we deep dive into achieving our goals and resolutions,  we are taking a step back to reflect on 2023-achievements, trying moments and changes we have made. Join us on our reflective 2023 journeys and share with us your own 2023 journeys at [email protected]. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

We would like to apologize for the background noise that you may hear during this recording. We will ensure this does not happen again. We still believe that the episode is worth the release. Thank you for your understanding. Love Zelda and Choolwe.New Year's Resolutions!- most of us have them, some of us see them through. On this episode we discuss why we make New year's resolutions, and some of the resolutions we have for ourselves - Enjoy!Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Zelda and Choolwe explore what it takes to live outside your home country and the nuances, beauty and challenges that come with it. Tune in to hear also what they are unlearning this week.Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

This episode we discuss our various Christmas traditions growing up, how they have evolved and what we look forward to in the future. We also add in as a bonus New Year's traditions as well :)Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

Choolwe and Zelda are bona fide graduates of YouTube University. They dive in to discuss why this is their favourite social media platform and how to effectively use it. Also, don't miss out on their insightful unlearning pieces. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)

It's all about food! As two foodies, we talk about how food shapes our world and the world of those around us. Hopefully this is a  palatable episode. Leave us a comment or question or just say hi :)