The Groovy Helpline

facetious and also sage is back and also paul is dead so

absent: lucas

this isnt really about harry styles we just briefly mention him and we didnt talk about anything else of note

sams back!!!!!!!!!!

josh

we're all back, and we're all here. celebrating a few things tonight, so lift your sugar packet, and here's to that.

our best and most coherent bits of 2025, packaged into one 2 hour big compilation. merry christmas my friends, we'll see you very soon <3

absent: noah

Absent: Lucas

nearly one year on, we're still stupid af

yeah.

hell yeah

absent: lucas

absent: noah

local adelaide band tenitus? on a podcast?absent: lucas

giant josh scavenger hunt?? when and where

Absent: Noahhorses and horses and horses and horses

i got the ability agility mobility capacity

Absent: Lucas. How long until this bit gets old

what's up you weasel backed motherfuckers

happy birthday to the heart of our show, ellie. i'm writing this myself so calling myself the heart of the show is kinda funny but you know

yeah

boneless

big fan of whatever this is

Absent: Noah

Josh lined? abovE!

WE'RE ALL BACK AND GAY NOW SINCE IT'S JUNE

Absent: Noah

tere's pretty cool

we're pretty cool

Absent: Lucas

Sorry, it's just, people are complaining (Too bad)You know, they want to know if you guys can maybe try tuning up again? Or- (No!)...play on beat and just do it right? (No!) All rightLet's stop foolin' aroundAnd turn this band into a lean, meanMom Jeans revenge machine (Yeah!)Mom Jeans!What do you want me to sayIt's never going away'Cause I'm stuck on youLike the smell of cigarettes on your flower dressI want you under my fingernailsI want you in my sleep and in my dreamsI wake up spooning my pillowSweaty hands but please don't tell your friendsNow I'm addicted to cigarettesAt first I didn't let myself inhaleBut smoke got through and so did youAnd now every burn hole smells like homeAnd I know it's killing meBut that still won't stop me'Cause now we smell the sameBut you still kill me fasterI don't mind that you lie sometimesBecause I lie too guess I'm just like youI don't mind that you lie sometimesBecause I lie too guess I'm just like youI don't mind that you lie sometimesBecause I lie too guess I'm just like youI don't mind that you lie sometimesBecause I lie too guess I'm just like youI don't mindThat you lie sometimesBecause Iie tooGuess i'm just like you

Absent: Noah

Absent: LucasThis may be the most chaotic episode we've ever done

Absent: Lucas

April fools so you get NO description listen to it yourself

Ilyana's back, and each of us have lived 1000 lifetimes since the last time she appeared. Noah breaks the news, and Lucas threatens to break his nose. Hilarity ensues.

We're all back together. That's right, Gabriel, Jack and Vincent. We review your responses as to who we are, make some new segments including stealing Tommyinnit's whole shtick and a little German Boy comes to visit. Hilarity ensues.

Absent: Lucas and Noah.We beatbox a lot, discuss the Minecraft Movie and guess how much honey is too much honey.

Absent: LucasOur very first band interview nearly devolves into chaos immediately, as we veer off track. A bus crash, a car crash and a frozen Powerade bottle. Hilarity ensues.

For the first time in Groovy history, all three of us are taken at the same time. This is the first time Noah's ever been loved. He calls Ilyana sigma a whole lot, we say some things we probably shouldn't have, and we made a website. Hilarity ensues.

We're all back together for the first time in a good long while after we spent all of January on a guest rotation, Joe from Family Guy discusses how GREEN DAY IS COMING and Lucas and Noah even up the Hearsay score. Hilarity ensues.

Absent: Lucas Josh's first podcast! We dip below the Josh Line a whole bunch, we discover who would be hotter as a woman between Josh and Noah, and the second edition of our game show Hearsay ends in fights. Hilarity ensues.

Absent: Noah Everything after about the 38 minute mark is chipmunk noise. I am so sorry for what's about to befall your ears.

Absent: Noah. And we're all better off for it. Sage argues with Lucas a whole lot, we discuss whether or not Jesus had a cellphone, and we uncover Lucas' egg allergy that apparently Ethan was the only one not to know of, way to include me guys. Hilarity ensues. An extra 5 minutes of content for this episode is available for $2 AUD a month over at our Patreon! patreon.com/TheGroovyHelpline. Feel no obligation to subscribe. The main podcast will always be free.

Absent: Lucas Left on their own, Noah and Ethan reminisce on all the travel they've done this year, why Christmas doesn't feel exactly like Christmas anymore, and Noah says the word Hawk Tuah an awful lot. Hilarity ensues. An extra 5 minutes of content for this episode is available for $2 AUD a month over at our Patreon! patreon.com/TheGroovyHelpline. Feel no obligation to subscribe. The main podcast will always be free.

Zoe joins the helpline, revealing her top artist to be controversial, we create a very large game of chasey and Lucas bad-mouths the holy name of Sabrina Carpenter. Hilarity ensues. An extra 5 minutes of content for this episode would normally be available for $2 AUD a month over at our Patreon! patreon.com/TheGroovyHelpline. However, there is none this week. Normally, the segment we would have cut and made exclusive to Patreon, is the last one, but the explanation of Metro Tag made it too important to the pod to remove. But, still subscribe if you can! Feel no obligation to subscribe. The main podcast will always be free.

David becomes the newest fourth member of the Helpline, we share our best divorced dad opinions (bring back the kids, Cassandra), and Noah tells the world he hates Josh. Hilarity ensues. An extra 5 minutes of content for this episode is available for $2 AUD a month over at our Patreon! patreon.com/TheGroovyHelpline. Feel no obligation to subscribe. The main podcast will always be free.

We finally have the right amount of headphones, Lucas tries to diagnose Noah as a liberal and Noah takes the format of radio and eats it whole. Hilarity ensues.