The Human Side of Facilitation

What skills do introverted trainers bring to the room?In this episode I’m joined by Susan Baird, Executive Career Coach, Facilitator and founder of Advantage Coaching and Training Ltd. Susan has spent 25 years working in HR across multiple sectors and countries, and brings a lot of hard-won experience to how she thinks about working with groups.We talk about why discussion and debate can do things that just ‘telling’ simply doesn’t, and how Susan reads a room and what she’s actually looking for when she does.We also get into the introvert in the room, spilled water at the worst times(!), and… monkeys on shoulders?Susan is warm, honest and very genuine, and I think a lot of people who work with groups will recognise themselves in this conversation.I’d love to hear from you. How do you create the conditions for real discussion in the groups you work with?You can email me at [email protected] | Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify | Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk | Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitationYou can find Susan at www.advantagecoaching.co.uk and on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/susan-baird-advantage-coaching/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

Being human contains moments of immense joy… and moments of profound sadness and challenge. This episode sits in that second space.I’m joined by Gareth Vaughan, a counsellor, psychotherapist and clinical supervisor who I’ve known since attending some training together as learners, many, many years ago.Gareth has spent his career working alongside people navigating some of life’s biggest moments (bereavement, cancer, trauma, loss) in settings ranging from hospices to the NHS to his own private practice.We talk about what therapy skills bring to group work, the particular challenge of reading a room when you can see almost too much, and what to do when someone in a group needs more space than the session can give them. We also explore the idea that many facilitators working on heavy topics rarely have anything equivalent to clinical supervision, and why that matters.Gareth’s closing thought about going with the flow sounds simple, but there’s more to it than that, and I hope it lands the way it deserves to.As always, please keep your own wellbeing in mind. If today isn’t the right day for these topics, please skip this episode or come back another time.You can email me at [email protected] | Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify | Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk | Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitationFind Gareth at www.gareth-vaughan.co.uk This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

What if joy wasn’t just a nice-to-have, but a core part of how we design and deliver learning, even on the heaviest topics?In this episode I’m joined by Becky Hawke, Senior Workplace Wellbeing Trainer at Solent Mind. Becky’s passion for bringing joy, play and creativity into training spaces is genuinely infectious, and this conversation left me smiling.We get into why joy became one of Becky’s core values, what her 7-year-old sparked in her by observing that “grownups don’t get to play”, and how play and creativity can sit comfortably alongside serious, sensitive content … when psychological safety is built in first. We also talk about why giving people an opt-out often leads to more engagement, not less, and the small ways you can invite creativity without anyone feeling put on the spot.I’d love to hear from you - how do you bring joy or play into the spaces you hold?You can email me at [email protected] | Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify | Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk | Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitationFind Becky and the Solent Mind Workplace Wellbeing Training team at www.solentmind.org.uk/training/ or on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/becky-hawke-23154b244/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

We talk a lot about the challenges of working with groups. The nerves, handling potential conflicts, the things that can go wrong. But what about the benefits? Why do we do it? That’s what this episode is about.Drawing on recent experiences and some of the research out there, I explore what we actually get from working with groups. As facilitators, trainers, managers, or anyone who holds space for others. From the light bulb moments you only get in a room full of people, to the way groups learn from each other in ways no single facilitator could engineer alone.If you know me, this will be no shock to you, but those who don’t… many people get surprised that I score so highly on introversion scales, and yet I am doing one of the most ‘peopley’ jobs going. I talk a bit about why that tension is actually one of the reasons I keep doing it. And this is far from rare, I have invited several people to talk about exactly this type of unusual match up between who we are and what we do in future episodes.I hope this episode also helps anyone on a week where perhaps the benefits feel harder to find for you, which can happen to us all, and yet we don’t often voice.I’d love to hear from you - what are the benefits of working with groups for you?You can email me at [email protected] | Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify | Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk | Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitation This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

Are you like most of us and money ‘stuff’ shows up somewhere in your work? Maybe worrying if you’ve overquoted for a job. Gone for a role because it paid more, but you didn’t really want it. Questioned if saying ‘no’ to some work would mean you wouldn’t get more… and then the catastrophising starts… how will I pay the bills?! So many facilitators have this, including me.When I was starting out as a freelance trainer, I was saying yes to everything and definitely undercharging. And it took my partner and my dad both giving me a kick before I even noticed (or perhaps admitted and worked on!) what I was doing.This episode is about how money thinking and anxiety shows up in our work as facilitators. And not just the business side of things… how it follows us into the room, affects how we hold space, and shapes what our clients actually experience.I should say upfront, I am absolutely NOT a business expert or a marketing guru. There are people far better placed than me for that. But I do work with facilitators on this topic in terms of the impact on their work, and it comes up more than you’d think. Money Psychology itself is also a topic I’m very passionate about, so when the worlds of facilitation and money combine, it’s geek x 100.We look at:* The scarcity spiral - how financial insecurity shapes decisions before you’ve even started facilitating* What money anxiety actually looks like in the room (spoiler: it’s not always obvious)* Money scripts - the unconscious beliefs about money we picked up in childhood that run quietly in the background* The fawn response, and why it shows up a lot in facilitators specifically* Why awareness is the starting point, not the solutionHow does money show up in your work? I love to hear from people who work with groups, so please feel free to share stories, ask questions, agree, disagree… You can email me at [email protected] | Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify | Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk | Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitation This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

Not everyone who ends up working with groups planned to. Many of us took quite circuitous routes!In this guest episode I’m joined by Mandy Wiltshire, Workplace Wellbeing Training Team Manager at Solent Mind, a leading independent mental health charity supporting people across Hampshire, Southampton, Portsmouth, and the Isle of Wight. Mandy is someone I’ve worked alongside for many years, and she brings real warmth and honesty to this conversation.We cover a lot of topics here, including how Mandy found her way into training without ever quite meaning to, what it’s like to manage a team while still stepping into the room yourself, and the particular challenge of delivering mental health content when the language feels routine to you but might be experienced very differently for someone in your group.We also get into online training, the honest pros and cons of it for both trainers and participants, and Mandy shares a story from a construction site that has stayed with her for years.And we end on a note that feels very fitting for this podcast, linked to… kettles??As always, I’d love to hear from you: what helps you stay fresh with content you’ve delivered many times before? Or anything you’d like to share, agree with, disagree with…You can email me at [email protected] | Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify | Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk | Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitationFind Mandy and the Solent Mind Workplace Wellbeing Training team at www.solentmind.org.uk/training/ or on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/mandy-wiltshire-87889467/ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

Just so you know - this episode mentions suicide, bereavement and trauma, in the context of facilitating these topics with groups. If you’re in the middle of any of that personally right now, it’s worth thinking about when you listen to this one.If you’ve ever been part of (as facilitator or participant) a session on a ‘heavier’ topic… you may well have felt that ‘heaviness’ in the room. People sinking into their chairs. Less eye contact. Decreased energy, or maybe a different type of energy.When we work with topics like suicide, bereavement or trauma, there’s often this assumption that heaviness equals respect. That if we’re not treating it seriously enough, we’re somehow doing it wrong. But what if that heaviness is actually getting in the way of people engaging?This episode explores how we work with emotionally loaded topics without creating an atmosphere that shuts people down rather than opening them up.I should say - I run a lot of sessions on some of the heavier end of this stuff. Suicide, psychosis, men’s health, bereavement. So this isn’t theoretical for me. And I also know people can find it hard to reach out for help if they need it. I often give the reminder that asking for, and accepting, help is a sign of strength. So please do reach out to your local services if you need to.We look at:* Why heaviness and seriousness aren’t the same thing* What the research on trigger warnings actually tells us (it’s not what most of us assume)* How to tune into your group before, during and after heavy content* The balance between safety and over-structuring - and how one can tip into the other* What trauma-informed practice actually looks like in the roomHow do you find these types of sessions? I’d love to hear what works for you, or any questions you’ve got.You can email me at [email protected] | Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify | Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk | Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitation This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

What does it really take to look after yourself when your job is to hold space for other people’s emotions? In this first guest episode, we explore this topic… and a few more.I’m joined by Ali Grady from The Thrive Team, talent acquisition and people development specialists with a genuine passion for helping people thrive in work and in life. Ali is an Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) instructor, accredited coach, qualified workplace mediator, and someone who brings real personal experience to everything she does.We explore:* How Ali “accidentally” fell into training, and why that story will feel familiar to a lot of people* The emotional labour of facilitating on sensitive topics, and what it costs if you don’t take it seriously* Knowing yourself well enough to recognise when it’s a ‘bare minimum day’, and why that self-awareness is a skill you build over time, often through getting it wrong* What the Samaritans taught Ali about decompressing after difficult conversations* Why facilitators and trainers often carry what groups give them home, and what to do about it* Building a personal wellbeing toolkit that actually works for youAli’s honesty and openness make this a conversation I think a lot of people who work with groups will find both reassuring and genuinely useful.I’d love to hear from you — what does your own decompression toolkit look like after a heavy session?You can email me at [email protected] | Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify | Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk | Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitationFind Ali and The Thrive Team at www.thethriveteam.co.uk or on LinkedIn. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

Why is tomorrow’s Spanish lesson making me reflect on my work as a facilitator? Join me as I go down what is partly a self-reflective rabbit hole… and partly an exploration of what it’s like to swap roles from facilitator to participant.We look at:* The Affective Filter - why anxiety doesn’t just make learning harder, it can block it almost entirely* Self-Determination Theory and what happens to motivation when autonomy, competence, and relatedness feel threatened the moment someone walks in* Cognitive Load Theory - and why “they weren’t paying attention” is often the wrong diagnosis* What you notice differently when you’re the participant rather than the person holding the space* Why losing your usual mode of communication is unsettling in a way that goes deeper than nerves* And what genuine empathy - not the concept, but the lived experience - might actually change about how we facilitateI love to hear from people who work with groups… When did you last genuinely find yourself on the other side of the room? And what did you notice?Please feel free to share stories, ask questions, agree, disagree… You can email me at [email protected] | Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify | Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk | Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitation This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

Do you ever finish working with a group feeling completely drained…even when it went well? Find yourself fighting through brain fog or voice issues but still needing to show up professionally? Or carry the weight of difficult sessions home with you?These are all things that people who regularly run groups have to face at some point. Whether you’re training, facilitating, managing teams, or running meetings - this work requires energy, emotional capacity, and presence. And yet many of us have never been taught how to protect our wellbeing while doing it.In this episode, I explore the practical and psychological side of staying well while working with groups. (Fair warning: I’m fighting off a cold while recording this, so I’m literally practicing what I’m talking about!)You’ll hear about:* Practical adaptations when you’re not feeling 100%* The perfectionism trap - why “consistently good” often beats “occasionally outstanding”* Recovery strategies - during breaks, after sessions, and at the end of busy weeks* Why we feel we’re not “allowed” to be off, and the invisible expectations we carry* Warning signs of burnout vs just having an off week* How our internal state shapes the roomI also share stories about hiding in my car during conference lunch breaks (and discovering I wasn’t the only one), and why different people need different recovery strategies.And wellbeing in our work is a topic I’ve got some lovely guests joining soon to talk about.In whatever way you work with groups, taking care of yourself isn’t separate from doing good work. It’s what makes good work possible.Connect with me: I love to hear from people who do this work, so please feel free to share stories, ask questions, agree, disagree… You can email me at [email protected] | Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify | Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk | Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitation This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

Do you ever worry that AI might make your work obsolete? It’s the question that’s been discussed by several people I work with recently. Others are excited about the possibilities and embracing AI in their own work, not as a replacement, but as a powerful tool. And some tell me they’re trying to ignore the whole thing and hoping it goes away!If you train people, run workshops, or work with groups in any capacity, this question has probably crossed your mind: will AI replace the need for human facilitators?In this episode, I’m exploring some of what’s actually happening with AI in the training & facilitation world - beyond the hype and the fear. Looking at what AI is genuinely doing well, where humans still excel, and what this all means for those of us who work with groups.You’ll hear about:* What AI is actually good at (and where it falls spectacularly short)* Why “AI will never replace us” claims might be too confident - and why doom predictions probably are too* The Spanish teacher example that illustrates what AI can’t replicate* Research showing human-led training gets 42% higher engagement - and why* The “stubbornly human” capabilities that AI struggles with (using the EPOCH framework)* How to think about AI as a tool rather than a threat or replacementI share my own experience using AI in my work (both the benefits and the limitations) and explore why the trainers who bring their full humanity into the room will likely always have a place.Whether you’re excited, terrified, or rolling your eyes at yet another AI conversation, you’re not alone. Everyone’s figuring this out as we go.The bottom line? Don’t try to be perfect, just be present. The human skills are more valuable than ever.It’s a huge topic, so this is likely to be the first of several about this… so (even more than normal!) I’d love to hear from you with your own thoughts, reflections, questions and stories that could be incorporated. You can connect with me on the links below, or email me directly at [email protected] with me: Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitation This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

Do you run team meetings? Deliver training? Navigate difficult conversations? Bring people together to think through problems or make decisions? Have you moved from 1:1 coaching or HR work into running groups?If so, you're probably already facilitating - even if you've never called yourself a facilitator, never trained as one, or don't think of yourself that way.In this episode, I explore what facilitation actually is, why I chose this word (despite struggling to say it!), and why so many people I talk to say "oh, maybe I DO do that!" when we unpack what facilitation really means. You'll hear about: - The difference between training and facilitation (and why the best practitioners often blend both) - Where facilitation shows up in everyday work - team meetings, project planning, difficult conversations, even 1:1s - The "accidental facilitator" - people who've ended up facilitating groups without formal training, often doing it brilliantly but doubting themselves - Why recognising facilitation as a craft matters for your development and wellbeing - How two very experienced training leads discovered they were doing far more facilitation than they realised I also share why "facilitation" isn't the perfect word (and I'm open to better suggestions!), how people often blend training and facilitation, and why naming what you do helps you develop it intentionally.Whether you're a manager running team meetings, an HR professional leading employee forums, a coach who's moved into group work, a trainer who facilitates discussions, or anyone who regularly brings people together - this episode is for you.Because if you're doing this work, you're already making a difference. And getting the support you need to keep developing your craft while staying well matters. Connect with me: Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk  Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitation This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

Do you love feedback or dread it? For many of us working with groups, feedback can feel like judgment rather than information - especially when we care deeply about our work.In this episode, I explore the complicated relationship we have with feedback: why some of us avoid it entirely, why others refresh the feedback link almost obsessively on the journey home, and how our need for validation can sometimes get in the way of genuinely useful insights.You'll hear about the psychology behind feedback avoidance, why "constructive criticism" often feels like personal rejection, and practical approaches including how I reframed one training company's entire feedback process when they were only capturing problems, not successes.I also share my own journey from someone who mentally beat themselves up over every mistake, to someone who (mostly) embraces feedback as growth - including some feedback that didn’t feel true… but improved my practice significantly.Whether you're freelance and your livelihood depends on reviews, employed and impacted by participant scores and group outcomes, or simply want to get better at asking for and processing feedback without the emotional overwhelm, this episode offers both permission and practical strategies.Connect with me: Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitation This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

Drawing in group sessions can be great fun! ... Or sometimes feel intimidating - both for facilitators who "can't draw" and participants who panic at the thought. But the research is clear: drawing supports learning, memory, and understanding in ways that text alone doesn't. And the quality of the 'artwork'? Completely irrelevant.In this episode, I explore why drawing works so well in training and facilitation, even when no one in the room has artistic talent. You'll hear about the psychology behind it, how to remove the pressure and make it feel safe, and practical examples including getting groups to compete against AI-generated images.Whether you work with analytical teams, nervous groups, or just want to add more creative energy to your sessions, this episode offers permission-giving approaches that actually work.Connect with me: Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Read and comment on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk Find out more about Thoughtful Facilitation: https://www.tom-cleary.co.uk/thoughtful-facilitation This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

We all have moments when working with groups that throw us - awkward silences, unexpected challenges, times when our usual approach just doesn't work and you just want to get back to solid ground. Most of us try to escape them. But research on reflective practice suggests these are exactly the moments where real professional learning happens. The question is whether we're willing to stay in them long enough to learn... and how.Read more on Substack: https://substack.com/@tomclearyuk This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

Most people hate CPD. I used to as well - it was just admin, ticking boxes, not actually helping me get better at work.Now I've found a way to make it genuinely useful - something that actually interrogates whether I've embedded what I think I know, not just whether I've read an article and hoped it stuck.This episode is about what works for me, and why I got genuinely (sadly?) excited about professional development today. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

An exploration of psychological safety in learning - what it really means, common misconceptions, and what it looks like in practice. I share stories from my early career and reflect on how we create the conditions where people can take interpersonal risks.Whether you're new to training and facilitation or have been doing this for years, this episode explores how psychological safety shapes what's possible in a room. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com

Welcome to The Human Side of Facilitation. An introduction to the podcast, me, and what we'll explore together in future episodes. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tomclearyuk.substack.com