The Liberation Effect

This week we're replaying one of our listeners' favourite episodes in which Patrick asks, is it autism or trauma?When we’ve grown up in chaos, it can be hard to untangle our trauma from who we truly are. In this episode, Patrick explores the tangled web of trust, identity, and survival after a lifetime shaped by narcissistic abuse - and a recent autism diagnosis that’s reframed everything.As he sits down with Helen, we witness a moving conversation about how trauma disguises itself in our thoughts, how autism and trauma intertwine, and how addiction can become a clever - if costly - coping mechanism. Together, they unpack people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional disconnection, and the shame that lingers long after the abuse ends.This is an episode about rebuilding from the rubble, reclaiming joy, and learning to trust yourself again.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this solo episode, Helen responds to a listener who feels at breaking point in a relationship shaped by chronic stress, emotional withdrawal and fear. With two young children in the home, she explores the weight of being expected to absorb a partner’s distress, manage the emotional atmosphere, and question your own character for reacting to behaviour that feels unsafe. Losing patience is often framed as a personal failing, but this episode challenges that belief directly, reframing it as a signal that boundaries have been crossed for too long.Helen unpacks the difference between explanation and excuse, especially when stress is used to justify shutting down, lashing out or emotionally disappearing. She speaks to the impact on children, the danger of walking on eggshells, and how childhood trauma can make people more likely to self blame rather than name harm. The episode also addresses financial fear, preparation rather than panic, and the importance of protecting emotional safety without minimising reality. This is a compassionate exploration of accountability, patterns, and the right to stop tolerating what hurts. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

This week Helen is joined by Lucy, and together they explore the lasting impact of growing up with criticism, shaming and emotional chaos. Despite years of therapy and increased awareness, Lucy still carries a harsh internal voice shaped by her relationship with her mother, particularly around her body, appearance and worth. Confidence was treated as something dangerous, and self acceptance often led to ridicule or punishment, leaving Lucy hyper aware of how she is seen and quick to turn against herself.The episode looks at how body shame and self loathing can become coping strategies in homes where safety is unpredictable and love feels conditional. Lucy reflects on growing up around fear, conflict and instability, and how focusing on her body became a way to gain control when everything else felt overwhelming. It is an exploration of projection, survival and identity, and the slow work of separating your own truth from the voices that taught you to stay small.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Helen speaks with Kate about the kind of guilt that forms when a child learns to survive by explaining away harm. Growing up in an emotionally unsafe home taught Kate to stay agreeable, take responsibility and protect her parents from accountability, even when their behaviour caused lasting damage. A central thread in the conversation is Kate’s reflection on her mother potentially being autistic, and the painful question of whether understanding that context changes, or excuses, the abuse she experienced.Together, they explore how children internalise blame when a parent cannot attune, regulate or repair, and how compassion is often confused with self erasure. Kate speaks about the fear of anger, the pressure to be fair at her own expense, and the belief that holding someone accountable is unkind. Helen challenges this directly, separating explanation from excuse and naming the cost of silencing your own experience.This is a conversation about guilt, power and the right to name harm, even when you understand where it came from.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this conversation, Helen speaks with Sarah, who has carried a sense of not being good enough since childhood. Growing up in an environment where curiosity was treated as defiance and undiagnosed ADHD was seen as naughtiness, Sarah learned early that safety depended on silence, compliance and taking the blame. As an adult, that history lives on in self blame, people pleasing and the fear of letting others down. Together they explore how old coping mechanisms form in the absence of safety, how quickly internal voices can take over, and why worthiness can feel frightening even when you long for it.The conversation touches on grief for the child who tried so hard, the tension between knowing you are a good person and feeling unworthy, and the relief that comes when familiar patterns repeat, even at your own expense. It is honest look at what it means to slowly imagine a life where worth is not something earned, but something felt.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Helen sits with Evie as she unravels the painful chain reaction that followed the betrayal of a long-term friend. What began as a rupture in a twenty one year friendship opened the door to something much older. Memories of a childhood shaped by a narcissistic mother, the loss of her father, and years spent surviving rather than becoming herself. The fallout has stirred insomnia, nightmares and flashbacks, as well as a grief for the identity she feels she never had the chance to form.Together they explore how familiar patterns repeat in friendships and relationships, why suppressed trauma can erupt when a safe person is lost, and what it means to rebuild trust from the inside out. The conversation looks at anger, self blame and the longing to be understood, and it gently shifts the focus from the behaviour of others to the power Evie has to choose herself now. It is an honest and reflective dialogue about identity, boundaries and beginning again after years of being shaped by someone else’s story.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationIn this episode, Helen speaks directly to the challenges of parenting when your own childhood was marked by fear, invalidation or emotional neglect. Drawing on the questions she is asked most often, she explores why a child’s big feelings can feel overwhelming to a parent with trauma, how rescue becomes a survival strategy rather than support, and why holding both connection and boundary is the foundation of safety for a child.Helen unpacks the difference between old nervous system reactions and present day parenting choices, and offers compassionate guidance on repairing after you lose your temper, recognising when you are parenting your inner child instead of the child in front of you, and staying steady when your child rejects you or pulls away. She speaks honestly about the grief that can surface as you watch your child receive the care you never had, and the responsibility that comes with breaking long patterns of control, shame or emotional burden.Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationUntangling love from duty when independence was denied.In this episode, Helen speaks with Isabel about the impossible guilt of growing up as the able-bodied sibling in a family built around care, control and expectation. From childhood, Isabel was told she would one day be responsible for her disabled sister, a message that shaped her identity and left little room for her own life or freedom.Together they explore what happens when love becomes obligation, when guilt is weaponised by a parent, and when the desire for independence collides with deep compassion. The conversation touches on glass children, emotional parentification, and the pain of being invisible except when needed. Helen helps Isabel begin to untangle love from duty, and recognise that protecting herself does not mean abandoning care.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationIn this conversation, Helen is joined by author, coach and trainee psychotherapist Harriet Shearsmith to explore the emotional landscape of going no contact with a parent. Through listener questions, they speak to the grief that comes with choosing distance, particularly the longing for the parent you never truly had and the ache of not having a senior adult to lean on when life feels heavy.Harriet reflects on growing up enmeshed and responsible for her mother’s feelings, and how difficult it can be to recognise your own needs when you were raised to anticipate and absorb everyone else’s. Together, they discuss the pain of losing not just a parent but the version of safety and care you hoped they could provide, and the quiet courage it takes to build that safety elsewhere.This episode holds space for the anger, the sadness and the relief. It is a thoughtful and validating conversation about boundaries, grief and the slow work of becoming your own safe place.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationIn this continuation of her story, Catherine speaks with Helen about the lasting effects of growing up unheard and disbelieved. Together they unpack the tension between wanting connection and fearing exposure, and how self-protection can harden into invisibility. Catherine reflects on her instinct to stay small, control her surroundings, and apologise for taking up space, tracing each habit back to moments she was ignored or criticised.Helen gently helps her rebuild a new narrative, where boundaries, autonomy and curiosity replace the need to overexplain. Their exchange captures the quiet hope that visibility can exist without threat, that being seen can mean being met rather than judged.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationIn part one of a two-part story, Helen speaks with Catherine about growing up unseen in a family where silence, perfection and religion shaped her sense of worth. Together they explore how childhood invisibility can follow us into adulthood, in relationships, work and even the body, showing up as discomfort with being noticed, fear of conflict or the drive to perform for love.The conversation looks at the lasting impact of emotional neglect, comparison and dismissal, and how learning to be visible again means rebuilding a sense of safety in being known. It is a tender, honest discussion about self-worth, visibility and the slow work of learning to take up space.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application In this solo Q and A episode, Helen answers questions from the community on parenting ADHD, navigating school systems, and understanding late diagnosis. She explores why children are regulated at school and fall apart at home, how to reduce demands without losing boundaries, and what parents can do when teachers misread overwhelm as defiance. Helen offers clear guidance on scaffolding, co-regulation, and advocating for ADHD needs in environments that expect compliance over connection.She also speaks to the emotional impact of discovering ADHD later in life, including grief for the child you once were, the pressure to mask, and the exhaustion of trying to meet neurotypical expectations. With compassion and practicality, Helen invites listeners to release self-blame, get curious about their nervous system, and build relationships rooted in safety, understanding and support.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application In this week’s episode Helen meets Sarah, who shares her experience of estrangement after years of gaslighting, blame, and denial from her mother. Together they explore what happens when a parent refuses accountability, rewriting the past to protect their image and leaving their child burdened with guilt. Sarah opens up about the grief of realising she may never be chosen, the pressure to keep peace at her own expense, and the slow process of reclaiming her story. The episode reflects on how survivors can begin to separate truth from narrative and find strength in naming what really happened.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-applicationThis week’s episode centres on the impossible balance between seeing the truth of a parent’s behaviour and still being in contact with them. Liz joins Helen to explore how conditioning, guilt, and fear of rejection can keep survivors tied to painful family dynamics. Together they unpack the cost of managing a relationship that demands silence, how “not making a fuss” becomes a survival strategy, and the courage it takes to choose peace over performance.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

This week, Helen is joined by Erin, a Hub community moderator and trainee therapist, to answer a listener’s question about living with a narcissistic mother while coping with complex PTSD. Together they unpack how ongoing contact can trigger emotional flashbacks, why people pleasing and hyper-independence often develop as survival strategies, and the hard choices involved in setting boundaries. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, originally released on our premium feed, Helen is joined by Jo Reader and Cat Chappell, psychotherapists and the voices behind The Fat Counsellors, for an unflinching and affirming conversation about shame, fatphobia, and the stories we inherit about our bodies.Together, they explore how body image is shaped by intergenerational trauma, how fatphobia shows up in therapy, family systems, and medicine, and the cultural myths that keep us chasing thinness at any cost. Jo and Cat share how their own experiences as fat therapists led them to create powerful spaces for others to unpack internalised bias, challenge societal norms, and reconnect with their bodies on their own terms.This is an episode about autonomy, dignity, and unlearning, offering a starting point for anyone questioning the narratives they’ve been handed about weight, health, and how this interlaces with self- worth.Find out more about The Fat Counsellors and their transformational Unravelling Body Shame workshops here: https://www.thefatcounsellors.co.uk/Unlock all Hub Bytes episodes for a small monthly subscription or included with your Hub membership. Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

Helen talks with Lucinda, who is raising two neurodivergent children while breaking free from the patterns of a difficult childhood. Together they explore how she supports an autistic son through friendship struggles, helps an ADHD daughter manage big emotions, and finds ways to set firm yet compassionate boundaries. Lucinda shares the loneliness of carrying the mental load, the relief of small breakthroughs, and the quiet strength it takes to create a home that feels safe, loving and truly her own. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this powerful episode, Scarlett opens up about leaving a religious cult, the shock of being discarded by her entire family, and the grief of realising her parents never loved her in the way she needed. She and Helen explore what it means to parent after trauma, to live with the echoes of fat phobia, shame, and control, and to try to build an identity after years of being told who to be. Their conversation touches on resilience, fragmentation, neurodivergence and the small, steady steps of reclaiming herself. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

⁠⁠Apply to be on the show.In this powerful conversation, Helen speaks with Sabrina, who was abducted by her mother as a child and raised far from her biological father. Now, at 40 and newly diagnosed as autistic, she is reconnecting with her father while still caught in the emotional grip of a controlling mother.Together they explore the lifelong impact of enmeshment, secrecy, and guilt, and how Sabrina has been taught to protect her mother’s feelings above her own needs. She shares the pain of being made responsible for everyone else’s emotions, the fear of being seen as “bad” for wanting more, and the struggle of deciding whether she can risk honesty without losing her family.Through the conversation, Helen helps Sabrina untangle fear from responsibility, recognise her right to know her father and heritage, and begin to imagine a future where her choices are not defined by her mother’s control.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

Apply to be a guest on the show.In this episode, Helen speaks with Elizabeth, who has gone no contact with her father and is now questioning the role her late mother played in enabling his behaviour. Once seen as her safe person, her mother’s minimising responses and final letters revealed a truth Elizabeth has struggled to face.Together they explore the grief of realising lost protection, the weight of guilt and responsibility, and the anger that comes with uncovering how secrecy and shame shaped her childhood.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Helen is joined by Jada, who opens up about the death of her abusive mother and the painful legacy it has left behind. Jada reflects on how her mother not only failed to protect her from her father’s abuse but also manipulated and controlled her well into adulthood. Now, six months after her mother’s death, she is faced with complex emotions of anger, grief, shame, and the question of whether to share the truth of her past with her two young adult children.Jada speaks candidly about her children’s very different experiences of their grandmother, the shame she feels for raising them under her roof, and the confusion that comes with suddenly having the freedom to speak when her voice was suppressed for so long.Content warning: This episode includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse and discussions of suicide and cancer.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

The Fawn Response has been declared a primary trauma response, but is it really? Understanding this distinction between primary and secondary response is vital because it empowers you to be able to manage it. You don’t have to fawn! And if you’re feeling the need to, either your relational pattern is playing out, or the person you’re with isn’t safe. Never shame yourself for surviving, it’s amazing you got here. Take care, Helen This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.comIn this episode, Helen is joined by psychosexual therapist and author Juliet Grayson for a rich and illuminating conversation about trauma, boundaries, and the power of body-based therapy.

What if shame has been speaking louder than your voice?In this follow up to last week’s conversation, Sinead returns to talk with Helen about the deeper roots of her anxiety, guilt, and fear of speaking up. Through guided imagery, Sinead explores the physical sensations tied to her voice: a hot, jagged feeling in her chest and a tight grip in her stomach. Both have long worked to keep her safe from the consequences of speaking out.Helen helps Sinead meet “Mr Guilt”, the shadowy figure who has been with her since childhood, shaped by years of control, secrecy, and the belief that serving others was the only safe choice. Together, they explore how guilt became her most familiar emotion, how it has been used to control her, and how it continues to shape her decisions.By the end, Sinead begins to imagine a different way forward, one where her voice can be used for her own needs and where guilt might guide rather than silence her. It is a conversation about understanding the body’s warnings, loosening shame’s grip, and making space for self trust.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if the silence after going no contact was louder than any fight you imagined?In this first part of a two-part episode episode, Sinead joins Helen to share the emotional aftermath of going no contact with her grandmother and the family system that enabled harm. Raised primarily by her grandparents, Sinead unpacks a childhood shaped by coercion, manipulation, and control. What she was told was her choice now reveals itself as something else entirely. Her grandmother enforced strict emotional rules, weaponised guilt, and used comparisons to keep her in line, while her grandfather remained passive in the face of it all.As Sinead reflects on the silence that followed her decision to step away, she speaks honestly about the identity crisis that surfaced in its wake. Without guilt as a guiding force, she feels untethered, unsure of who she is or what she’s allowed to feel. Together, she and Helen explore the legacy of emotional neglect, survival-based behaviours, and the fear of becoming like the very people she had to leave behind. This is a deeply validating conversation about letting go of inherited shame, rebuilding self-trust, and beginning to choose who you want to be.Content warning: This episode discusses abortion and emotional abuse.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com

What if the moment you chose yourself was the moment they turned against you?In this episode, Lola joins Helen to share her story of surviving an emotionally abusive marriage and the painful fallout that followed. Raised in a household where love came with conditions and silence was expected, Lola entered her first long-term relationship as a teenager. What followed was years of emotional entrapment, manipulation, and failed attempts to leave, all under the weight of cultural and family pressure.When Lola finally made the decision to walk away, she was met with humiliation, rejection, and a devastating lack of support. She describes the isolation that followed, including being gaslit, coerced into couples therapy, and eventually made homeless. Yet through it all, she held on to a quiet determination to survive and rebuild. Now living abroad with her independence reclaimed, Lola reflects on the emotional toll of reactive abuse, self-blame, and the fear of connection after betrayal.This is a powerful conversation about scapegoating, identity loss, and the slow work of self-trust. With clarity and courage, Lola shares what it means to heal on your own terms and find safety after being told you do not deserve it.Content warning: This episodes contains discussions of coercive control and emotional abuse.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if feeling your emotions meant risking everything that keeps you safe?In this episode, Stephen joins Helen to explore the collapse of his coping systems after becoming a father. As a neurodivergent parent living with autism and ADHD, Stephen reflects on how the unpredictability of raising a toddler has triggered early patterns of fear, control, and emotional self-protection. He speaks openly about growing up in an environment where feelings were unsafe, religion was weaponised, and perfection was the only path to acceptance.Together, they explore the dissociative gap between knowing and feeling, the shame of not being able to access emotions, and the fear that if he lets go, everything will fall apart. Helen gently invites Stephen to consider what it might cost to feel more deeply, and what it might make possible. This is a powerful conversation about emotional impermanence, parenting after trauma, and the slow work of learning to trust yourself when no one ever taught you how.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if the hardest part wasn’t what happened, but what it meant about who you were?In this episode of The Liberation Effect, Louise speaks with Helen about the long-term impact of childhood emotional abuse. She shares how years of being controlled, shamed, and repeatedly told she was “too sensitive” left her doubting her instincts and shrinking herself to survive. What unfolds is a powerful conversation about the cost of being silenced, the confusion of loving people who hurt you, and the quiet strength it takes to begin telling the truth.Together, they explore the inherited roles that keep families functioning at your expense, the shame of not feeling “bad enough” to ask for help, and the slow rebuilding of self-worth after decades of internalised blame. Louise speaks with clarity and courage about becoming someone she trusts again, and choosing a life that no longer revolves around being easy to love.Content warning: This episode contains references to covert sexual abuse. Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if love meant always being available, even when it cost you your future?In this episode, Christine speaks with Helen about growing up with a mother who expected complete emotional and practical availability. She shares how her life was shaped around her mother’s needs, including being asked not to get a job, not to go to university, even to plan her days around minding the dog. Christine reflects on how these constant, unreasonable demands blurred the line between love and control.Together, they explore the guilt of saying no, the pressure to stay small and agreeable, and the work of reclaiming autonomy after years of self-abandonment. Christine speaks with honesty and insight about learning to disappoint others in order to protect herself, and the slow process of becoming someone who lives by choice, not obligation.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if the person who hurt you most was the one everyone protected?In this episode of The Liberation Effect, Emily speaks with Helen about the long shadow of sibling abuse, and the emotional cost of growing up in a family that denied her reality. She shares how her mother’s repeated refusal to acknowledge what happened left her isolated, gaslit, and cast as the source of the problem.Together, they explore the deep confusion of being harmed and then blamed for it, the long road to rebuilding self-trust, and the clarity that comes with naming what was never allowed to be named. Emily speaks with honesty and conviction about her choice to remain no contact, her decision not to forgive, and the freedom that comes from choosing herself after years of being erased.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if protecting yourself came at the cost of everything familiar?In this episode of The Liberation Effect, Elizabeth shares the story of a life reshaped by bold decisions. After walking away from toxic workplaces, family estrangement, and an abusive relationship abroad, she found herself free, but deeply alone. She and Helen explore what it means to honour the choices made for survival while grieving what was lost along the way.Together, they unpack the tension between strength and sadness, self-trust and self-abandonment. Elizabeth speaks candidly about navigating estrangement, sobriety, and grief, and the quiet ache of not knowing how to access love. Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if the way you parent reveals the parts of you that are still hurting?In this episode, Lucy explores the uncomfortable truth that she finds her daughter more triggering than her son, even when they display the same behaviours. What unfolds is a powerful, emotionally honest conversation about the legacy of childhood rejection, and how easily unhealed wounds can echo through the next generation.Helen helps Lucy trace the roots of her inner critic, the shame she carries around being “too much,” and the fear of what it would mean to truly honour her younger self. From family dynamics that blamed her for others’ behaviour to the belief that love must be earned through perfection, Lucy brings humour, clarity and real insight to a story that will feel painfully familiar for many.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if being the good child meant being the forgotten one?In this episode, Charlotte joins Helen to explore the long shadow of emotional neglect, people-pleasing, and being cast as the family scapegoat. As a child, Charlotte learned to stay quiet, meet expectations, and avoid conflict. But underneath the surface was a deep loneliness, a constant pressure to be easy, and a silence that cost her a sense of self.Together, they unpack how roles like “good girl” or “too much” get assigned to children without their consent, and how those labels can shape your entire identity. Charlotte shares the pain of being punished for setting boundaries, the grief of realising her parents never truly protected her, and the courage it takes to finally trust your own voice.This is a conversation about survival, clarity, and the moment you decide to stop carrying a story that was never yours.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if everything that made you different was dismissed, not just by the world, but by the people meant to protect you?Christina joins Helen to share the quiet heartbreak of being visibly different but never truly seen. Despite clear signs of neurodivergence from a young age, her parents dismissed the red flags, choosing image, denial and normality over acceptance and support. Now, with a late autism, ADHD and dyscalculia diagnosis, Christina is left untangling years of confusion, anger, and grief.Together, they explore what it means to grow up performing for approval while being punished for your needs. From emotional shutdowns and school struggles to masking, meltdowns and the fear of peace itself, this conversation cuts to the core of what happens when your suffering is invisible - even to the people who say they love you most.If you’ve ever found yourself asking why they didn’t do more, or how to stop needing their validation to move forward - this episode will speak to you.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if everything you thought was real… wasn’t?In this episode of The Liberation Effect, Helen is joined by Emma, who’s facing the grief of being discarded by her narcissistic mother - not because she walked away, but because she finally said no.Now in her fifties and newly separated, Emma is navigating the disorienting fallout of a lifetime spent performing for love, questioning every memory, and grieving the identity she was never allowed to form. Together, she and Helen unpack what happens when your childhood starts to unravel in adulthood, and how hard it is to trust yourself when you've spent your whole life being told who to be.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What if understanding it won’t make it hurt less?In this episode of The Liberation Effect, Helen is joined by Megan, who’s gone no contact with her parents but is still being pulled back in through guilt, shame, and flying monkey messages. Now pregnant again, Megan finds herself circling old patterns of self-doubt and wondering if she really was the problem all along.What unfolds is a conversation about grief, survival, and the desperate need to make sense of the senseless. Together, Helen and Megan explore how the urge to understand - to explain, justify, or find a reason - can sometimes be a trauma response in itself. Because if we can figure it out, maybe we can fix it. And if we can fix it, maybe we weren’t really abandoned at all.Trigger warning: this episode involves discussions about child loss and bereavement.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What happens when the fear of rejection runs so deep it controls your every decision? In this episode of The Liberation Effect, Helen sits down with Laura, who is climbing the corporate ladder while quietly battling burnout. Behind her inability to say no lies a lifetime of people-pleasing, a deeply enmeshed family system, and a childhood marked by secrecy and survival.Together, Helen and Laura trace the emotional roots of this fear - from Laura’s experience growing up with a mother who demanded complete emotional transparency while forcing her to conceal dangerous truths, to the trauma of abandonment and the impossible role of being everyone's safe place. This conversation gently unpacks how trauma echoes in professional spaces, how enmeshment distorts boundaries, and how we start learning to say no - not just as a boundary, but as a form of self-protection.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

What happens when the ‘safe parent’ lets you down?In this episode, Lucy joins host Helen to explore the painful realisation that the parent she once saw as kind, gentle and safe – may never have been that at all.After going no contact with her emotionally abusive stepmother, Lucy began speaking to her dad about what she’d lived through. But what followed was denial, gaslighting and invalidation – not just from her stepmother, but from the man she thought would be in her corner.Together, Helen and Lucy explore toxic hope, the idolisation of the “good dad”, and the heartbreak of seeing someone clearly for the first time.If you’ve ever been made to feel too sensitive, too difficult, or like you’re remembering it all wrong – this one’s for you.Grow, connect and thrive with a free 7-day trial of The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Helen is joined by Kate, who shares her story of going no contact with her mother and navigating the complex aftermath. What starts as a conversation about finding peace after estrangement becomes a profound exploration of trauma, covert abuse, family conditioning, and the grief that often follows disconnection.Together, Helen and Kate discuss the deep roots of people-pleasing, how it links to childhood experiences, the long-term effects of narcissistic parenting, and the role shame plays in keeping us silent. With honesty and vulnerability, Kate offers a voice to what so many survivors feel but often can’t say.Important note: There is a trigger/content warning in this episode for sexual abuse - please listen with caution and seek appropriate support if necessary.Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Helen talks with Amanda as she wrestles with the idea of reconnecting with her mother - someone who caused her deep pain. Diagnosed with autism later in life, Amanda shares how being neurodivergent shaped her understanding of the relationship, her patterns of trust, and the grief of toxic hope: the belief that maybe, one day, her mum might change.Together they explore what it means to let go of the version of a parent you needed, how autism complicates that process, and what healing can look like when you stop waiting for someone else to be different.Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: ⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠To be on the show please apply here: ⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

When we’ve grown up in chaos, it can be hard to untangle our trauma from who we truly are. In this episode, Patrick explores the tangled web of trust, identity, and survival after a lifetime shaped by narcissistic abuse - and a recent autism diagnosis that’s reframed everything.As he sits down with Helen, we witness a moving conversation about how trauma disguises itself in our thoughts, how autism and trauma intertwine, and how addiction can become a clever - if costly - coping mechanism. Together, they unpack people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional disconnection, and the shame that lingers long after the abuse ends. This is an episode about rebuilding from the rubble, reclaiming joy, and learning to trust yourself again.Join The Hub at ⁠https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/⁠ To be on the show please apply here: ⁠https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

When a child’s behaviour pushes all our buttons, it can be hard to separate the present from the past. In this powerful episode, a mother explores her deep discomfort around her son’s intense emotional responses and defiance—asking herself if he might be a narcissist, like her own father was. But as she sits down with Helen, a different picture begins to emerge. How do unresolved wounds from narcissistic abuse shape the way we interpret our children’s behaviour? What part is ADHD or Autism playing in the dynamic? This honest, tender conversation dives into projection, ADHD, autism, parental guilt, and the courage it takes to break inherited patterns.Join The Hub at https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/ To be on the show please apply here: https://hub.liberationacademy.co.uk/podcast-application This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

The Expert Series is a conversation between a professional and me discussing their specialism in relationship to the course on The Hub. Listen as we explore people pleasing and sex, trauma and shame, or identity and neurodiversity. This content is free for Hub members, or available for a small monthly subscription. Thanks and take care! HelenSupport the show This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe

If you're looking for stories from people just like you, and suggestions on how to find a way through similar problems, welcome to The Liberation Effect. Join me as we pull apart struggles and problems and see what's going on and how to move forward. https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/Support the show This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe