The Mike and Maxcast

(Old men looking at their lives…)ZOOMER BASHFEST, KESHA DOES IT AGAIN, XBAWKZ REFLECTIONS, MAX HAS A BONE TO PICK, THE HOT DOG GOES LIMP, MAIL COMES AROUND, THE FOOD IS SCRUTINIZED.Email us at: [email protected]

(Cool dudes are back…)JAW BONE GETS ZONED, MAX GETS A NEW BASS PLAYER, ELLEN IS DEF NOT MEAN, WE NEVER LANDED ON TITANIC, IRL GUY LEVELED UP IN FLORIDA, JAMES BOND YARD SALE, THAT’S IT FOLKS.Email us at: [email protected]

(Back in the saddle…)DOG TALK AND BOOK TALK, YOKO SLINGIN’ H, OLD MAN HAS NO ANSWERS, HIGH TIER MEAT TREASURES, FOOD REVIEWS FROM OUR LOYAL LISTENER, WE BACK.Email us at: [email protected]

(Tossing that pig skin…)GONE’D HAT, STAMP ALLIANCE, TRACY AND LUKE DRIVE FAST, MAX TALKS VR FOR SOME REASON, JUDGE BOOMER ZOOMERS IT, AUZZIE KID GOES DEEP FOR THE GOLD, BAD CHINESE FOOD, AND LEATHER JACKET COOL DUDES.Email us at: [email protected]

(The boys run wild...)WE KICK IT OFF, BABY AND DOG MAKE MIKE AND MAX TENSE, GUN PARTS IN A DIAPER PART, DEER HORROR INDIE GAME COMES TO LIFE, DEREK G GETS A PHONE, BRITISH FOOD IS BRITISH, THE KICK GODS GET STRONGER.Email us at: [email protected]

(Boys are back at it...) GAME TALK BOOK TALK, MAX TALKS ABOUT A SURGEON FOR SOME REASON, NECROBOTS ARE HERE TO STAY, SEPTIC BITE ME I SEPTIC BITE YOU, WE STOP TALKING TO START TALKING. Email us at: [email protected]

(Closer yet to scareville...) BOOK TALK, FUTURE TALK, MAX TALKS OLD MC 'DONNA, FECES ART BUST, THE GRAZER SAID JONAS, EMAIL SUMMONS CRYPTID BATTLE, FOOD SCRUTINY EVOLVES, NORMAL WRAP-UP. Email us at: [email protected]

(North man returns…) DEMONS AND ANGELS, TEETH CRIES, TEE-SWIFT TALES, WRITER TALK, HOT HOUSE SPOOK’UMS, ONLYTEACHERS, EMAIL AGGRESSION, LIL’ FACTS COMING OUT, MAX CREATES A SPOOKY EXCEL SPREADSHEET POLL, BOO IT’S HALLOWEEN. Email us at: [email protected]

(Nerd time begins…) FAKER ROLLS UP, THE BOYS BOOK IT OUT, SPIDER BOY’S GIRL’S HAT, FOOD-SHAPED VEHICLES ARE WONDERFUL, SIBLINGS ROLL HARD, FOOD DARES ARE SCARY, EMAILS REVIVE AN OLD SEGMENT AND EVEN OLDER MEMORIES. Email us at: [email protected]

(We get moist...) OFF THE WALMART FROM THE WALLSTART, A STAR IS BURIED AND A CHILD STAR GETS BALD, PLANES, TRAINS, AND SAILBOATS, PENAL COLONY ORBITS BACK, MAX BRAGS ABOUT VHS TAPES, WE WIND IT DOWN TO TOY TOWN. Email us at: [email protected]

(We go long…) LIARS ON WHEELS, TRIPS AND CHILD TRAUMA, BUSTO GOES BRUTAL, TANK TALK TAKES UP TONS OF TIME, MAIL CALL. Email us at: [email protected]

(We get weird...) STOMACH TURNING EVENTS, OLD LADY GETS GERM'D, YOU'RE BORN THEN TWO THEN NOT ANYMORE, A MOVIE GETS EDITED, DEREK RISES LIKE A PHOENIX, OLD SLANG FOR OLD BOYS. Email us at: [email protected]

(Surprise guest rolls in…) EBAY E-CRAY, BIKE BOYS, LEBANESE BEEF, SELF-ROBOCOP'D DREAMSTYLE, OLDY WENT INTO A YOUNGHUT, A VERY SPECIAL EMAIL SEGMENT, CROCS: YOU'RE WHAT'S FOR DINNER, A HURRIED ENDING. Email us at: [email protected]

(The boys got the tech…) SUB GAMES, TERROR REID, SUNNY WITH A CHANCE OF HANGING, NAILED TO A BAKERY WALL, EMAILS OPEN UP MAX'S DEAD HEART, SPECIAL GUEST CALLS IN. Email us at: [email protected]

(Technology heavy…) SNOW TIME LIKE SWEARING, VR BENDS, SCREAM GIRL DRINKS NO MORE, VEGAN SWEETS FOR ZOOMER EATS, PENAL RETURNS, AI DESTROYS THE CAST. Email us at: [email protected]

(A God descends...) GOLF LAUNCHER TALE, DISPARATE HOUSEWIFE, UK B&E GOES SOL, CHAD WALKING INTO COP HOUSE, FEDDY BRINGS THE HEAT, MAX STRETCHES THE CAST WITH SELF-DEREK'ING THE GROUP. Email us at: [email protected]

(It’s that time…) TORTILLA TALK, MAX TALKS ABOUT RUN THIS TOWN WOMAN, PUMBO NEEDS A KIDNEY, IRL MONKEY CLOSE CALL, HIBACHI HORROR. Email us at: [email protected]

(Charging up again...) UNCOVERING THE COVER BAND, MAX IS TARGETED, MADONNA IS ALIEN PREGNANT, HOT DOG WE CAN DANCE AT LAST, SITCOMPUNK 2077, WE GET INTO THE MAIL PIT, MAX CONJURES GOLD BACK FROM THE NOTHING DIMENSION. Email us at: [email protected]

(Here we go again…) LOST EPISODE EULOGY, STORE STORIES, CELEB PREGGERS, DINO HEAD TIME, EMPIRE STRIKES BREAD, MAX CANCELS HIMSELF VIA BLITZ, DOG RECIPES, DEREK HAS DIRTY AIR, THE BOYS CALL BIG GUM. Email us at: [email protected]

(Coming in with spirit...) MAX BOOMERS HIS WAY INTO CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED TV SHOW, MIKE BOOMERS HIS WAY INTO A BOOMER SHOW, WIDE PANTS RAIDER, SNAKE HUNT, MONKEY YANKING CRANK, DEREK APPROVES IT ALL, RESURGENCE OF AN OLD SEGMENT, AN EMAIL STREAK IS LOST DUE TO PERISHED LISTENER. Email us at: [email protected]

(Got that dark energy...) RICE TALK INTO BOOK TALK, THE PREGGERS JUMBLE, LOSER WOMEN IN THE WILD, MAX SADS OUT MIKE WITH SOME ANIMAL ANTICS, CREATURE CUP QUESTIONS, PIZZA GOD DEATH MARCH. Email us at: [email protected]

(The new blood returns...) GANG TALKS BAR TRIVIA, SPELUNKING INTO DATING APPS, JOLIE S-TIER NAMES HER SQUADRON, THREE BOOMERS READ THE YOUTH DICTIONARY, RETIREMENT DINO BONES, CRAB JUICE, EMAIL ALMOST CRASHES MIKE, MAX SHARES A SAD EATERY TALE THEN UNCOVERS MORE, TRIVIA RESURFACES. Email us at: [email protected]

(The temp is rising...) THE BOYS TALK FIRST DATES AND SUSHI, SWIFT GETS A CAR - WE LOSE OUR MINDS, MOON ROACHES ARE NOT FOR SALE, KNOCKOUT CANDY SURPRISE, TRIPLE BLITZ, WE END IT HARD. Email us at: [email protected]

(We start it PG-style...) A NEW SEGMENT FALLS OUT, FROZEN FACES FREAK US FIERCELY, SWEETS LOVER BETS THE HOUSE FOR THE SAKE OF PLANET EARTH, LIVE LONG AND NO PROSPER, THE BURGER TALE DEEPENS, MAX TALKS DINOS AND THEN MIKE ALSO TALKS DINOS. Email us at: [email protected]

(We wind it up...) MAX SUMMONS A MEME, MIKE MAKES TURTLE TALK, YAHOO QUEEN GETS INKED, CHEF'S KISS AIN'T ALWAYS POSITIVE, NEW GAME PLUS IRL, SPACE FARMING SIMULATOR 2022, SHO TOGUCHI PULLS A SHO TOGUCHI, MAX OPENS UP THE PANDORA'S BOX OF DEPRESSION, EMAIL CATCH-UP AND BURGER THOUGHTS. Email us at: [email protected]

(We bring in new blood…) ALL THE SMALL THINGS, DESERT CHESTER, SQUATCH TRANSFORMERS, DOLPHIN MANSPLAINS AND GETS TWITTER BANNED, YOUR NAME IS THE BUZZER. Email us at: [email protected]

(Mike picks up the slack again…) Mike shoots from the hip in a Max-less episode of the Mike and Maxcast. Max is in the process of editing an episode that had a guest on it, which I am eager to see added to the ranks, as it was a banger. Patience please. REGULAR MIKE AND MAXCAST NEXT EPISODE (HOPEFULLY IF HE AIN’T HURT).

(An old guard rises again...) FREE CHAIRS, DUBIOUS CLAIMS, SWAMP ASS BACK AT IT, LEE WINS THE CART BANDIT GUESS-A-THON, MAN WATCHES MOVIE, NOT BLASTING A COUCH ANIMAL, ONE STAR WARRIORS DROP TRUTH. Email us at: [email protected]

(We bring in some heat...) SMUT CAMERA, ALEC MAKIN' DAT BASEBALL TEAM, OLD PEOPLE EAT OUT AND MAX TALKS ABOUT IT, AS FREE AS A BIRD, MICKEY LOOKIN' FOR CHEESE, ALIENS FEAR THE MAN IN BLACK, DELETE DOGS, MAX HUNTS A TREE BEAST, THE CAST IGNITES, SON OF DEREK. Email us at: [email protected]

(We are professionals...) MAX AND NORMAN COMPETE FOR MVP HEAD TRAUMA, CURTAINS FOR MAURY, POTATO SCANDAL, TIK TOK TIME TRAVELER TRUTHS, THREE PLATES OF SCRAN, TEN YEARS A BUSTED WENDY'S, TWO BOOMERS TALK ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA LIKE IT MATTERS. Email us at: [email protected]

(We make up for lost time...) MAX WAKES FROM HIS SLUMBER, THE UNSUNG ALUM, HUMAN BLITZ, IN COMES THE BEAR, RITA THE FLAMEBRINGER, PHIL FREEZES, MONKEY POLE DEATH SQUAD, PENAL'S ORIGIN. Email us at: [email protected]

(Mike picks up the slack...) Originally recorded on December 26, 2021, this was meant to be the fabled "Episode 6.5" that came to be after worrying that Max would not be available to record Episode 7. However, Max was free and this was to remain in the vault until the world needed it most. Today is that day. REGULAR MIKE AND MAXCAST NEXT EPISODE.

(We keep the heat on...) QR CODES FOR OLD PEOPLE, CLASH OF THE XANAX, 50 MILLION FEET WATCHERS, SELF-DIAGNOSING A DISEASE BAG, DONALD GRANT: DINOSAUR SCIENTIST, NAKED AND NOT AFRAID, THREE PLUS CATS AND A WATCH, SLEEPING TO TOY MECHANICS. Email us at: [email protected]

(We enter a fugue state…) DEAD CAR, BAND PRACTICE, MAX INSTA-HATES, DEBUTING A BIG GUT, THE SORRY STEALER, MOON BOYS, PENAL COLONY RETURNS, MOVIE STUMP. Email us at: [email protected]

(Max tries to delete us...) KIDFLINKS, DOG GONE, WOKE CANDY PERSONS, DOG FOUND BY MEAT, OLD DEAD IN IRELAND, PENNSYLVANIA PRIMATES, EMAIL STUMP, BUCKET SPEAKS. Email us at: [email protected]

(Ten years in the making...) GREAT VALUE TERMINATOR, BIG JUDD THE CONGO QUEEN, IRELAND HEART ATTACKS, DK CAT MODE, CHILD FORCES WOMAN INTO MARRIAGE, AMAZON SOMMELIER RETURNS, NEW SEGMENTS ON THE HORIZON, FUNKSHAKE KINGS REFLECT ON THEIR FUNKSHAKE KINGDOM.

(We make it in time...) DARK WEB MIKECAST, DUNE CHILD MYSTERY, SLUT SHAMING EVE, PALEONTOLOGISTS ARE HARD MODE, EVERY MOVIE IS RATED R WITH AN ACTIVE SHOOTER, DRUG POUCH IN MY BALL POUCH, GIFTS INTO DOG FOOD, MAX MANS THE MAIL, ONCE MORE INTO THE CHIMP PIT, FUNKSHAKE KINGS SET A COURSE FOR 2022.

(Max opens up…) OFFROAD F*CKERS, IN THE MALL IN THE SNOW, DREW BARRY-DRINKS-LESS, SHALLOW POTTER, CHEERS, CAMEL LIPS LIE, SPRAYING FLAME, BEAST BLITZ BIRTHDAY BASH, MAX SCREAMS DINO, FUNKSHAKE KINGS BRING THE PENAL COLONY.

(We unglue a bit...) TIP LOSER, JOKE THREATS, THE SEARCH FOR TURKEY SANCTUARY, GRITTY SITCOM REBOOTS, LIBRARIES ARE OLD HAT, DE-WITCHIN' COSTS A MINT, EMAIL DISTRESS SIGNAL, FUNKSHAKE KINGS KILL A SEGMENT?

(We march on...) CHAIR TALK, T.G.I.FRIDGE, BOTTLE FIGHT, UNEARTHING DOUG, PIZZA BOT, FUNKSHAKE KINGS GET AN EMAIL.

(We dig in…) SOBER BULLY SPEAKS OUT, MARTHA STEWART HAWKIN’ CBD, HOUSE ROAD TRASH, CONDOR JESUS, HIPPOS ARE HUMAN, SERBIAN BOXER BRAWLS, FUNKSHAKE KINGS TRY TO KEEP PACE.

(This train keeps on rolling...) THE BEATLES ARE HIP WITH KIDS, DEMI LOVATO FIGHTING FOR ET'S, CRITTERS AND WALNUTS, SNACK SANDWICH LOTTERY, PIZZA ROLL SURPRISE, FUNKSHAKE KINGS CONTINUE TO BUILD.

(Episode 1 of our return back to the cockpit of this mess…) BRITNEY SPEARS, BIG BANG THEORY BLOW UPS, SATAN ON TV, GRIMACE REVEALED, MAD AT DAD ABOUT YOUR PORN, FUNKSHAKE KINGS RETURN AGAIN.

(This episode comes straight from the vault, circa 2017, aged like a fine wine - let this serve as an introduction to the cast) CELINE DION, FASHIONISTA, DEAD PEOPLE IN SUBWAYS, AWESOME INTRO, FUNKSHAKE KINGS RETURN, DON'T GO INTO THE LONG GRASS.