The Movie Makeover

Gladiator II storms into the arena wearing the armor of a masterpiece and hoping nobody notices the dents. In this episode of The Movie Makeover Podcast, we ask the big question: Sharks...why did it have to be sharks?!? Is this a worthy heir to Gladiator, or just a very expensive toga party with rage issues? We dig into the sequel’s lumbering plot, inherited gravitas, and all the ways it tries to ride Maximus’s coattails straight into cinematic immortality. Then, as always, we do what we do best—we break it down and try to fix it. From rebuilding the emotional core to sharpening the political backstabbing and giving the characters something more to do than glower beautifully in torchlight, we remake Gladiator II into a sequel that actually earns its spot in the arena instead of just showing up and shouting, “Are you not nostalgically entertained?”

Episode: “65 (2023)”You know that feeling when a movie sells you “Adam Driver fights dinosaurs” and you immediately start clearing your schedule like it’s a national holiday? Yeah… same. In this episode, we’re crash-landing into 65, the sci-fi survival thriller that’s basically “space dad + angry lizards + one very bad travel itinerary.” It’s lean, it’s loud, it’s beautifully shot… and it still manages to feel like it’s sprinting through a third draft while the meteor clock is already at :10.We break down what 65 does right (a committed lead, clean visual storytelling, and a premise so simple it should be bulletproof), and why it never fully reaches “classic creature feature” status. Is it a thriller? A dinosaur movie? A heartfelt two-hander? A survival horror sprint? Or is it a very expensive proof-of-concept for a better version of itself?Then it’s time for The Makeover: we pitch a version that leans harder into tension, earns the emotional bond, and turns the dinosaurs from “obstacles” into a system—territory, behavior, escalation, and set pieces that feel inevitable instead of random. We’ll talk structure tweaks, character backstory that actually pays off, and how to make that ending hit like a freight train instead of a gentle nudge.So grab your emergency flare gun, practice your silent screaming, and join us as we ask the most important question of all:If you’re stranded on prehistoric Earth with Adam Driver… why aren’t we having more fun with the dinosaurs?

In the Movie Makeover universe, Assassin’s Creed is the definition of a “how did you mess this up?” adaptation: a knockout premise, a stacked cast, and a time-hopping playground… somehow flattened into a cold, talky, grey slog that forgets the #1 rule of parkour ninjas: make it fun to watch.In this episode, we put on the hood, sharpen the hidden blade, and rebuild the movie from the leap of faith up—keeping the DNA of the games (mystery, momentum, history-as-a-thrill-ride), while fixing the stuff that made the film feel like homework with a stunt budget.

The 2017 Academy Awards—honoring the films of 2016 should’ve been unkillable. Instead, Oscar Night played like a bloated rough cut with no producer in the room. On this episode of The Movie Makeover, we treat the ceremony like a failed prestige picture and fix it the only way Hollywood understands: with structure, discipline, and a ruthless trim.This was the year of Moonlight, a film so precise and devastating it barely raises its voice—and still floors you. The year of La La Land, a nostalgia bomb polished to a mirror shine. The year of Manchester by the Sea, which emotionally waterboards you for two hours and then asks for another take. Add in the formal ambition of Arrival, the righteous competence of Hidden Figures, the theatrical muscle of Fences, the slow-burn fury of Hell or High Water, the craft-forward carnage of Hacksaw Ridge, and the earnest uplift of Lion—and you’ve got a lineup that should’ve guaranteed a clean win.We pull in the wider bench too—Jackie, Silence, Sausage Party, Elle, The Lobster, Nice Guys, and Sing Street—and ask how a year this confident onscreen produced a ceremony this insecure off it. (Yes, according to Mike, the scrappy Irish teen musical with wall-to-wall bangers somehow felt more alive than most of the broadcast.)Best Needle Drop (or: When a Song Actually Does the Work)If you want a masterclass in how to use a song, start with Sing Street—where music isn’t wallpaper, it’s character, propulsion, and plot. Now contrast that with the Oscars’ taste for sonic sugar highs. Can’t Stop the Feeling! from Trolls is engineered joy—fine, effective, and designed to sell plush toys. Then there’s Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, which weaponizes pop itself, including a perfectly deadpan cameo moment from Seal that understands satire better than most acceptance speeches understand time limits. The makeover here is simple: stop rewarding loud for being loud. Give the win to the needle drop that changes the movie, not the one that survives the radio.

This episode attempts the impossible: performing cinematic CPR on The Godfather Part III, the movie that gave us 'Thunder can't hurt you', an opera house showdown, and a reminder that even legendary franchises can trip over their own gravitas. We dig into the weird pacing, the half-baked romance subplot, and the Vatican politics that feel like homework. Then we unveil our upgraded blueprint: tighter stakes, richer character arcs, and a finale worthy of the Corleone name. Leave the bad script, take the makeover.

The year is 1999. The movies are legendary. The Oscars… needed help. In this episode of the Movie Makeover Podcast, we revisit the 2000 Academy Awards and give the ceremony the makeover it never asked for but definitely needed. We break down every category that fumbled, every nomination that should’ve been, and every win that aged like a Blockbuster late fee. Expect bold takes on The Matrix, The Sixth Sense, American Beauty, Magnolia, and all the glorious weirdness that made ’99 a cinematic fever dream. If Hollywood won’t fix the past, we will.

Justice League (2017): The Super Friends InterventionIn this episode, the movie makeover team dives face-first into the glorious Franken-movie that is Justice League (2017) — the theatrical cut! Half Snyder drama, half Whedon quips, and 100% “Who asked for this mustache removal?”So naturally, we call in the experts…Not producers.Not screenwriters.Nope — The Super Friends.

Step into the neon-drenched, shoulder-pad-powered future of 2017—yes, their 2017—where America has solved all its problems by doing the obvious: turning mass incarceration into live-televised gladiator combat. Enter Ben Richards, played by peak-era Arnold Schwarzenegger, a helicopter pilot framed for a massacre and thrown into a government-run game show where convicted “contestants” fight to the death against a roster of pro-wrestling-adjacent murderers with names like Subzero, Buzzsaw, and Dynamo (who looks exactly like your uncle’s karaoke-night alter ego).Hosted by Killian—Richard Dawson serving villainy with the confidence of a man who knows the ratings are always in his favor—The Running Man takes media manipulation, dystopian violence, and ’80s action physics, tosses them in a blender, and hits turbo. Arnold quips, bodies drop, spandex stretches to its earthly limits, and somehow the whole thing feels both wildly absurd and eerily prophetic.By the end, Ben Richards becomes the world’s angriest reality-show winner, the studio explodes, truth prevails, and the movie leaves us with the eternal message: if you can’t trust a murderous TV host, who can you trust?Perfectly over-the-top, aggressively ’80s, and low-key smarter than it looks, The Running Man is precisely the kind of movie begging for a makeover—not because it’s bad, but because it’s so gloriously extra that updating it would only make it stranger.

Episode #5 They Live   The patron saint of The Movie Make-Over Podcast, John Carpenter, takes front and center when we explore his 1988 social commentary Sci-Fi classic, They Live. Starring, the Super Star of wrestling, Rowdy Roddy Piper, and the always reliable Keith David, this thinly disguised take on class struggle was a mid-level hit that was dismissed by the pundits at the time but has since seen its reputation grow as a classic. With Carpenter squarely at the controls doing Carpenter things, is this film worthy of its current status, or is it closer to the initial reaction?

We take a look back at the Oscar awards given to the films from 1980. We re-access the nominations and winners with the advantage that time has given us. With the additional years of access, reputation, and repeated viewings, we right the perceived wrongdoings that The Academy Awards perpetrated at the time the awards were handed out. With this power, we Re-Award the Oscars to our favorite films and performers, as well as shine a light on some alternate nominations where we believe someone or some film was overlooked.   We also present our own awards for:   Best Original Film of the Year that was also a financial hit (Top 15 grosser for 1980)   Nominations: 9 to 5, Stir Crazy, Airplane, Private Benjamin, Coal Miner’s Daughter, Blue Lagoon, Urban Cowboy, Seems Like Old Times   Most Influential Film of the Year (culture, film trends/genres, technology, etc.)   Nominations: Airplane, Blues Brothers, Mad Max, Heaven’s Gate, Gloria   Best Use of a Song in a Movie (Does NOT have to be originally made for the film)   Nominations: Fame (Fame), 9 to 5 (9 to 5), I’m Alright (Caddyshack), Call Me (American Gigolo), Respect (Blues Brothers), All Over the World (Xanadu)   Wild Card Category: Best Jamie Lee Curtis Horror Movie from 1980   Nominations: Terror Train, The Fog, Prom Night  

Join us for episode 3, where we dissect Cowboys and Aliens, Jon Favreau’s 2011 follow-up to his immensely successful Iron Man movies. Daniel Craig stars as a cowboy in 1873 Arizona who wakes up with a piece of mysterious technology strapped to his wrist. With an All-Star supporting cast led by Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde, and Sam Rockwell, the stage is set for a fun 2-hour romp that combines the best parts of Western and Sci-Fi films. With a pedigree that points to a blockbuster, how could it not shoot straight?

For our second episode, we break down the 1995 Denzel Washington & Russell Crowe cyberpunk thriller, Virtuosity. This early addition to the burgeoning Sci-Fi subgenre was intended as a star-making vehicle for Crowe and another stepping stone to superstardom for Washington. Two great actors are pitted against each other in the near future, where crime is fought with the most advanced technology. A science fiction action movie with star power using the latest visual effects, what could go wrong?

Episode #1 Speed Racer.   For our inaugural episode, we chose Speed Racer, The Wachowskis’ 2008 adaptation of the beloved animated manga series from creator Tatsuo Yoshida. Coming off the success of The Matrix series, The Wachowskis could have chosen any project to their liking and were given the resources to do it on a large scale. They dove into this classic 1967-68 cartoon that held a special place in the hearts of many Gen Xers. But with their blockbuster sensibilities, did they stick the landing?In The Movie-Maker Podcast, we dissect a film that we believe showed great promise, with some excellent ideas and elements, but the execution fell well short of its potential. We take a deep dive into the chosen high-profile Hollywood films, identifying what we think is flawed, rallying around what we believe is strong, and offering our own perspective on how to improve them. Along the way, we’ll delve into movies not just as an art form, but also as a form of pop culture, entertainment, and commerce.