The Neurodivergent Struggles Podcast

In this 9th episode of Neurodivergent Struggles, Dr. Kojo Sarfo and Emily explore trauma, PTSD, and CPTSD through the lens of autism and ADHD. They discuss how many late-diagnosed neurodivergent individuals carry childhood wounds caused by unmet needs, neglect, poverty, feeling misunderstood, or growing up without the support they needed. The hosts explain how these early experiences can shape attachment styles, relationships, hypervigilance, and self-worth later in life.The conversation also dives into the emotional impact of being diagnosed later in adulthood. Emily shares how autism and ADHD were often overlooked in girls, while Dr. Kojo reflects on how finally receiving treatment changed his life and made daily functioning feel lighter. They discuss how proper diagnosis, medication, and compassionate providers can be transformative, especially for those who spent years struggling in silence.The episode closes with a discussion on motivation, self-sabotage, and the need for challenge in the neurodivergent brain. They also answer a listener question about public speaking and comedy, offering practical advice on overcoming fear, using humor, and embracing authenticity. The hosts emphasize that healing often comes from putting yourself out there, being honest, and creating a life that works with your brain rather than against it.

In this 8th episode of Neurodivergent Struggles, Dr. Kojo Sarfo and Emily explore sensory overload and how it affects individuals with ADHD and autism. They discuss common triggers such as strong smells, loud environments, and the anxiety around trying new foods, highlighting how routines like sticking to “safe foods” and meal planning can help regulate the nervous system.The conversation shifts to navigating social environments, where they emphasize the importance of having exit plans during overwhelming events. Emily shares how certain spaces, like EDM raves, can surprisingly feel safe and freeing, allowing her to stim and express herself without judgment despite the high sensory input.They close the episode by addressing the stigma around ADHD medication, encouraging listeners to prioritize their mental health and quality of life. The hosts stress that personal well-being should come before outside opinions, especially when it comes to treatment decisions.

In this 7th episode of Neurodivergent Struggles, Dr. Kojo Sarfo and Emily explore how neurodivergent individuals, including those with ADHD and autism, often use substances and sex to regulate their nervous systems. They explain how these behaviors can temporarily provide dopamine and a sense of calm, helping manage internal restlessness and emotional intensity.The conversation dives into how self-medication, whether through alcohol, THC, stimulants, or sexual activity, can quickly become compulsive or addictive. The hosts discuss why neurodivergent individuals may struggle with moderation, as well as the impact of rejection sensitivity, mismatched sex drives in relationships, and how undiagnosed neurodivergence can contribute to risky patterns of behavior.The episode closes with a focus on awareness and treatment, emphasizing that understanding one’s neurodivergence and seeking proper support can be life-changing, even later in life.Find us on all platforms at: @neurodivergentstruggles

In this 6th episode of Neurodivergent Struggles, Dr. Kojo Sarfo and Emily explore masking in neurodivergent individuals, particularly those with autism and ADHD. They describe masking as adopting a socially acceptable persona to fit in, explaining how it can be useful in certain environments but often comes at the cost of exhaustion, burnout, and a gradual loss of identity.The conversation highlights the importance of balance, recognizing that fully unmasking is not always realistic, but neither is constantly suppressing one’s authentic self. The hosts emphasize the value of choosing when to mask and when to be fully authentic, especially in safe spaces where genuine connection and understanding can exist.They also discuss the challenges of feeling misunderstood by family and society, and why many neurodivergent individuals benefit from rejecting one-size-fits-all neurotypical advice. Instead, the episode encourages self-awareness, self-compassion, and building a lifestyle that accommodates both structure and chaos, allowing the neurodivergent brain to function in a healthier, more sustainable way.Find us on all platforms at: @neurodivergentstruggles

In this 5th episode of Neurodivergent Struggles, Dr. Kojo Sarfo and Emily explore limerence, defined as an involuntary infatuation that leads to placing someone on a pedestal and loving the idea of them more than the reality. The co-host shares her experience of staying in a four-year relationship despite early red flags, realizing she was more in love with being in love than with the person himself. They discuss how limerence can feel especially powerful for individuals with ADHD and autism, who may struggle with connection and latch onto the attention and validation.The conversation dives into how undiagnosed neurodivergence, attachment styles, and family expectations can prolong unhealthy relationships. With an anxious and avoidant dynamic at play, they examine how these patterns repeat and why breaking them requires intentional boundaries. Dr. Kojo shares his personal rule of limiting early time spent together to avoid emotional overinvestment, while emphasizing the importance of setting realistic expectations and maintaining separate sources of dopamine and identity within relationships.The episode concludes with a discussion on autistic regression, explaining how years of masking can lead to burnout and a temporary loss of functioning that is often misunderstood as laziness. The hosts highlight the importance of awareness, boundaries, and understanding the nervous system when navigating relationships as a neurodivergent individual.Find us on all platforms at: @neurodivergentstruggles

In this 4th episode of Neurodivergent Struggles, Dr. Kojo Sarfo and Emily dive into the topic of self-sabotage and how it often shows up in subtle ways for neurodivergent people. They explain that self-sabotage is not always dramatic, but can look like being late, missing opportunities, impulsive spending, substance use, or drifting from purpose, especially when things are going well or when boredom sets in.The conversation explores nervous system regulation, success, and vices. Dr. Kojo shares how being unregulated can lead to poor decisions and repeated cycles of self-sabotage, particularly around substances, relationships, and the need for stimulation. They discuss how certain vices, including video games and dating, can become consuming for neurodivergent individuals, and why stability and uneventful days are often healthier than excitement with consequences.The episode also includes an audience question about early signs of autism in young children, highlighting the importance of early evaluation and diagnosis. The hosts explain common developmental signs to watch for, emphasize that autism can be identified as early as age two, and stress that early understanding helps parents better support communication and development, while reinforcing that there is nothing wrong with a child who has autism.Find us on all platforms at: @neurodivergentstruggles

In this 3rd episode of Neurodivergent Struggles, Dr. Kojo Sarfo sits down with Emily to discuss neurodivergence, identity, and life as an actor. Emily shares why she prefers the gender-neutral term “actor,” and reflects on how ADHD and autism were often overlooked in girls when she was younger, leading many women to receive diagnoses later in life.Emily opens up about living with high-functioning autism, including sensory sensitivities and how different environments affect her neurodivergent brain. She compares life in New York City and Los Angeles, noting how constant stimulation fed her ADHD but also encouraged unhealthy burnout, while LA’s slower pace requires more intentional effort to connect socially. The conversation also explores isolation, addiction, and how substances can temporarily quiet the inner stress many neurodivergent people experience.The hosts discuss routine, work fulfillment, and why traditional 9-to-5 jobs often feel incompatible with neurodivergent needs. Emily shares why acting provides both structure and novelty, and why she chose fulfillment over financial security. They also talk about medication, exercise, social challenges like oversharing, and practical strategies for navigating relationships, work, and mental health with compassion and self-awareness.Find us on all platforms at: @neurodivergentstruggles

In this 2nd episode of Neurodivergent Struggles, Dr. Kojo Sarfo sits down with Mila and Roberto to talk about friendships through a neurodivergent lens. Mila shares how friendship has begun to feel more convenient and surface-level over time, leading her to become more guarded and self-reliant. Roberto reflects on long-standing friendships from his youth and how a fallout with a close friend reshaped his understanding of connection.Dr. Kojo also opens up about navigating relationships as someone with ADHD, including difficulty reading people’s intentions and realizing that many past friendships were one-sided. The conversation explores how ADHD affects maintaining relationships, from forgetting to reach out to loved ones to the “out of sight, out of mind” experience that many neurodivergent people relate to.The episode continues with neurodivergent thoughts and listener questions, covering topics like finding community with other neurodivergent people, late autism diagnoses, the impact of hormones on bipolar disorder, and the risks of misdiagnosing bipolar disorder as depression or anxiety. The discussion emphasizes validation, accurate diagnosis, and the importance of proper support and treatment.Find us on all platforms at: @neurodivergentstruggles

In this 1st episode of Neurodivergent Struggles, Dr. Kojo Sarfo along with Mila Max and Roberto Aguilar talk about signs of autism. They share real life experiences and explain how autism can show up differently in everyday life.The hosts discuss ADHD, autism, and bipolar disorder, including why many people do not get diagnosed until later in life. They talk about feeling different, masking to fit in, and why social situations and small talk can be hard for neurodivergent people, especially women.This podcast is a safe and welcoming space where learning about your brain is encouraged. We invite your questions and topic ideas, and all stories stay anonymous unless you say otherwise.Find us on all platforms at: @neurodivergentstruggles