The Slime Zone

PODCAST · comedy

The Slime Zone

The world's first goo-themed podcast.

  1. 25

    Insights From a Mexican Jew

    Friend of the Slime Zone and resident Mexican Jew, Dirk Orozco, drops in for a positively gooey discussion about social media addiction, Croatia, relationships, and more! Drop a comment if you know where Croatia is 😎 (we have no idea).

  2. 24

    Dan Schneider Is Sorry

    Millennials call him Laugh Daddy. Others refer to him as Father Giggles. Dan Schneider, the engine behind the Nickelodeon live-action hit factory that produced The Amanda Show, Drake and Josh, iCarly and many more was recently outed for being a creep in the "Quiet On The Set" documentary. Watch in shock and horror as we pick apart his staged apology video and slip in a few tasteful zingers along the way.

  3. 23

    We Desperately Try To Go Viral (ft. ChatGPT)

    ChatGPT leads us astray once again as we employ it in a vain attempt to go viral! Watch in disappointment as A.I. directs our most generic and innoffensive episode to-date. Take notes, fellow content creators!

  4. 22

    F**k, Marry, Kill: REMIX

    It's a modern twist on the revered classic! This week we play "F**k, Marry, Kill: REMIX" - a game where we decide the fate of various trios of concepts and inanimate objects. From forklifts to dog breeds, nothing is off limits. Hop in the Slime Zone and play along!

  5. 21

    Edible Electricity and Taylor Swift Fans: A Match Made in Heaven

    🎉 Calling all beef jerky aficionados and Taylor Swift fans alike! 🍖✨ Get ready to sink your teeth into something truly extraordinary with SwiftScape. Imagine a world where every corner of your home is not only luxurious but also edible – and tastes just like your favorite beef jerky. It's a dream come true for Swifties who appreciate a savory surprise in every bite. Stay tuned as we unveil the ultimate fusion of flavor and fandom with SwiftScape! 🎶🏡 #SwiftScape #BeefJerkyLovers #TaylorSwiftFans #EdibleLuxury

  6. 20

    Eating Dubious Food

    In this culinary episode, Jesse has the great honor of being the first to try my attempt at creating real-life "Dubious Food" from the Legend of Zelda series. It's a theme park of flavors. It's covered in bodily fluids. As Jesse remarks, "it's like the Radiohead of food." What does he mean by that? Watch on to find out!

  7. 19

    Harry Potter and the 30 Seconds of Full Penetration

    In this slimy episode we come up with new ways to say stuff. We also graphically depict an alternate cut of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows where Voldemort rails the shit out of Lucius Malfoy for speaking out of term. Currently seeking angel investors to make this a reality.

  8. 18

    Ranking Forms of Physical Intimacy

    Hugging. Kissing. Puppy play. We lay it all out on the table this Valentine's Day and divulge our favorite (and least-favorite) forms of physical intimacy. Grab your special someone consensually and sidle up for this especially steamy Slime Zone installment 😏

  9. 17

    How to Bag Some Sliz

    Don't have a Valentine? Wanna bag some sliz? Watch this episode immediately! This week, local ladies man "Bryce" joins me in The Slime Zone to teach me a thing or two about wooing the ladies. We practice our most cutting edge pickup lines on each other and practically cream our jeans. It's pretty gross. Actually, don't watch this episode. Can somebody tell me how to delete a podcast

  10. 16

    NSFW A.I. Chatbots

    This time we enlist the help of horny chatbots to write ourselves a screenplay. We've got David Fincher in our camp and we have a contract with Sony Pictures for $500m. And here's the best part - we want YOU to star in it. The catch? You just have to do a small Dave & Busters plug. Also you might have to fuck an ostrich.

  11. 15

    This Is What Success Looks Like

    The Slime Zone is now an entrepreneurship podcast. Tune in to this week's episode to hear Jesse and Michael's latest business propositions. Also, expect to learn a thing or two about spider endorphins. Do you know what kind of music spiders like? Seriously, let us know because we have no idea.

  12. 14

    Milky Milky ft. will.i.am

    Will.i.am is a dangerous psychopath and we're here to explain why.

  13. 13

    Slime Tank

    Two budding entrepreneurs go head-to-head in this scintillating battle of capitalistic prowess. Tune in to Slime Tank to collect on the hottest business ideas of the century whilst barfing in your mouth simultaneously.

  14. 12

    E.T. Porn Home

    In this putrid installment of The Slime Zone, Michael pitches Jesse a few ideas for porn parodies of famous movie and TV franchises. Jesse regales us with a childhood memory of stumbling upon a not-so-sexy E.T. spoof that left him traumatized. Then we eat five different flavors of eastern Lay's potato chips. All in all, it's a fine episode.

  15. 11

    This Episode is Terrible

    In this one we try to describe the plot of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for like 30 minutes and it's unclear if any of it's funny. Afterwards, bafflingly, we decide to double down and try the exact same thing with Liar Liar (1997) starring Jim Carrey. Is it Slimetastic? You tell us!

  16. 10

    Proud To Be Furries

    In this gooey 'sode we create a tier list out of the best and worst rooms of a house. Then, because our thirst for tier-making simply cannot not be quenched, we make a BONUS tier list out of mental illnesses! It's an educational bash.

  17. 9

    Halloween Stories

    We're throwing a Halloween Spooktacular in the Slime Zone! In this episode we swap Halloween trauma stories and end up writing a few spooky stories of our own. Chug some ectoplasm and goop on in!

  18. 8

    Do We Know Who We Are?

    Get slopped up and join us as we delve into the inner machinations of each other's minds via scintillating personality quizzes! SPECIAL GUEST and inaugural “Slime Girl” GRACI PHILLIPS drops in to chortle and dispense feminine wisdom! Copious amounts of carcinogenic fog and cat hair are metabolized in this episode. You've got to see it for yourself!

  19. 7

    Self-Serve Propaganda

    In this squelchin 'sode, Jesse and I discuss the potential merits and pitfalls of hustle culture. Things get a little political. The lord's name is taken in vain. Jesse cries and I poop my pants. A swarm of bees devours our wieners and then we both go to hell. Jesse goes to classic "hell 1" where satan blows fireballs on your face while a guy with a fork pokes your butt for all eternity. I go to the lesser-known "hell 7: type B" where my mother tells me I can't have the hot wheels car I saw at the dealership even though I really want it. It's a hoot down here in the Slime Zone!

  20. 6

    Billionaire Vices

    We attempt to make an alignment chart of billionaires and have a hard time filling the "good" column. However, we are able to determine with certainty that Jeff Bezos is addicted to lolicon.

  21. 5

    Low T Soycuck Beta Males

    Watch this to lower your T! How low can you go? Special guest and fellow low-T soycuck beta male Aaron Dupuis joins me in this wacky episode of The Slime Zone. We discuss alcoholism, which famous clowns we think we could beat to death, astrology, how to bag a witchy hottie, and so much more. Our respective Ts have never been lower. No pair of males has ever been more beta. Watch on to learn our secrets.

  22. 4

    Labor Laws Are Cool

    This week on The Slime Zone we celebrate workers in America by discussing the most wretched jobs we've ever had. Several unrelated yet deeply troubling questions arise. Why have Jack Black and Jack White never collaborated? Who will be our first Slime Intern? Listen on to hear our vague guesses at the answers.

  23. 3

    I Want Pete Davidson to Shoot Me in the Head

    In this slimey episode we discuss our ideal death scenarios. Then, we rank 113 conventional red flags in relationships from absolute deal breakers to traits we actually think are attractive. Also, if you're reading this, you're invited to the Death Roast of Jesse Gillenwalters hosted by Pete Davidson.

  24. 2

    Sins of the Fathers

    In this gooey installation of the Slime Zone we're joined by the notorious Nashville Goober Duo - also known as Bryce and Dirk. We confess to our sins with merriment and laughter and then do a series of intense blind taste-tests of various colas. It's a real wet one!

  25. 1

    Beige Flags

    In this flag-themed episode we discuss our reds, greens and beiges. We also touch on the virtues of Cum Flakes, a hotly-debated breakfast cereal with branding dangerously similar to Corn Flakes.

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ABOUT THIS SHOW

The world's first goo-themed podcast.

HOSTED BY

Michael Kessler

CATEGORIES

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