the unvarnished edit’s Podcast

In episode nine of the Unvarnished Edit, Angie and Jaelene discuss forgiveness, beginning with parenting stories and the stress of last-minute elementary school events. The conversation shifts to how forgiveness has been weaponized—especially in high-control religion—often demanding “forgive and forget” without accountability or changed behavior, placing the burden on the injured party. They argue some actions are unforgivable, and define forgiveness as “giving up the hope of having a better past,” describing it as an internal process distinct from relationship repair. They emphasize that forgiveness without boundaries and accountability is abuse, that actions matter more than words, and that repaired relationships require active repair, responsibility, and behavioral change.   00:00 Welcome and Setup 02:12 Calm in a Crisis 07:19 Parent Guilt Spiral 08:20 Why Forgiveness Is Hard 11:45 Unforgivable Things 12:29 A New Definition 13:55 Boundaries and Accountability 15:49 Repair vs Forgiveness 19:37 Forgiveness Is Not A Pass 20:50 Letting Go Without Forgiving 23:09 When Forgiveness Is Weaponized 28:36 What Forgiveness Looks Like 30:32 Boundaries And Repeated Harm 34:35 Episode Takeaways And Closing 

In episode eight of the Unvarnished Edit, Angie and Jaelene discuss Jaelene’s experience with the criminal justice system and how it changed her, with content warnings for substance abuse and maternal trauma. Jaelene describes how a traumatic maternal trauma contributed to her turning to Xanax, Ambien, and Percocet, escalating into a hidden, high-functioning prescription drug addiction. She explains how this escalated to criminal charges and eventually took a plea for 2.5 years, serving 22 months in prison during COVID with no in-person visits. She reflects on anxiety, survival, personal growth, and the ongoing stigma as a felon.   00:00 Episode 8 - From the Playground to the Prison Yard 00:21 Introduction 04:26 Why this story is important to tell 07:13 Maternal Trauma and the Start of Substance Abuse 16:37 Getting Clean and Coming Clean 23:26 The Police, The Plea and Prison 33:27 Prison Lockdown and COVID Lockdown 39:32 Friendship Through This Process 45:05 Privilege and Criminal Justice 51:06 Post Prison and The Stigma

In episode seven of the Unvarnished Edit, Angie and Jaelene talk about finding love and healthier relationships later in life, starting with a humorous exchange about irrational fears and reassurance-seeking in marriage. They explore what “healthy relationship” means, noting it varies by person and still includes conflict, and they read a passage from Atlas of the Heart describing attachment as the “near enemy” of love, contrasting clinging and fear with true love that allows, honors, and appreciates. Both reflect on past narcissistic and transactional relationships, their pact to avoid repeating patterns, and how healing happens in relationships through boundaries, communication, repair, and the mindset of “you and me versus the problem.” They describe learning these skills inside supportive partnerships.   00:00 Welcome and Setup 00:32 Irrational Fears and Reassurance 03:51 Healthy Love vs Attachment 09:03 Finding Love Later 19:22 Healthy Takes Work 22:54 Boundaries And Repair 26:35 Skills Over Patterns 34:42 Unconditional Love Wrap

In episode six of the Unvarnished Edit, Angie and Jaelene discuss what they feel is missing from common conversations about healing, after chatting about weekend downtime and seeing Project Hail Mary. They describe healing broadly—sobriety, trauma work, and changing one’s relationship with self—emphasizing that it’s long, non-linear, and not a destination. They explore unexpected grief, difficulty processing anger, and reframing emotions as neutral data points rather than “good” or “bad,” including separating behavior from identity and shrinking the timeline between harm and repair. They also stress that compassion does not excuse abusive behavior and that boundaries are necessary even when harm is unintentional, warning against “weaponized” trauma-informed language. They close with what gives them hope: increased public discussion, advancing brain science, more pathways to growth, and greater self-awareness in younger generations.

Showing Up When You Don’t Want To: Purpose and Tiny Steps Forward   In episode five of The Unvarnished Edit, Angie and Jaelene talk about showing up for life even when you don’t want to. They explore how responsibility, motherhood, and healing require effort, especially learning to show up for yourself after years of caretaking and unsafe self-advocacy. They discuss how changing long-standing patterns is difficult, especially when dysregulated, and share practical supports like recurring phone reminders and small, actionable steps. The conversation connects purpose to motivation at work and home, addresses working without purpose due to necessity, and emphasizes decompressing after work. They also discuss parenting by allowing children to face consequences, influenced by Codependent No More, and conclude with avoiding shame, investigating the “why,” and acknowledging feelings to move forward.   00:00 Welcome to Episode Five 00:23 Honeymoon Recap Europe 00:57 Crying on the Flight 02:51 Using Media to Cry 03:41 Theme Showing Up 06:02 Hardest Part Self 09:11 Phone Alarms Reminders 11:25 Why Calendars Fail 14:38 Small Steps Self Care 17:01 Purpose Makes It Easier 19:40 Work Without Purpose 20:35 Privilege and Survival Jobs 22:02 Doing Hard Things 22:28 After Work Recovery 23:25 Finding Balance Elsewhere 24:35 This Too Shall Pass 26:41 Parenting With Self Care 28:33 Let Them Face Consequences 32:30 Codependency Wake Up Call 33:29 Learning To Show Up 34:39 No Is A Sentence 36:55 Feelings Like Toddlers 38:11 Key Takeaways And Goodbye

In episode four of The Unvarnished Edit, Angie and Jaelene discuss ongoing struggles with stress responses and how their bodies react based on a “safety template” formed from early experiences. They explain that behaviors that look like problems can be protective solutions, and that while the immediate stress response isn’t fully controllable, people can choose what to do afterward by expanding the space between thought and action. They share examples such as yelling in the past, going quiet, withholding information, rigid routines (including needing the same hotel room), and silent treatment in relationships, and describe progress as recognizing patterns faster, reducing shame, and making repairs. They also talk about regulation tools—especially breathing, routines, breaks, and practicing regulation before crisis—plus journaling, movement, and small treats like coffee.   00:00 Welcome to Episode Four 00:43 Weekend Catch Up 01:42 Steps and Couch Time 03:50 Aging and No Fs 04:30 Safety Template Explained 06:10 Holy Shit Moment 07:56 Childhood and Survival Wiring 09:47 NICU Story and Body Memory 11:46 Defaults Yelling vs Silence 13:58 Behavior as Safety Strategy 16:04 Why It Still Shows Up 19:22 Healthy Relationship Challenges 20:56 Practice Over Perfection 22:09 Silent Treatment Wakeup 23:37 Progress Means Noticing 24:34 Repair Without Shame 25:51 Doors Closing Feeling 27:03 Tools and Capacity 28:56 Why Education Matters 29:59 Regulation Go To Basics 32:55 Proactive Practice Routines 36:01 Treats as Regulation 37:53 Wrap Up and Next Week

In episode three of The Unvarnished Edit, Angie and Jaelene discuss their therapy journeys and how therapy impacts daily life, starting with a light catch-up about Bridgerton and Succession as a segue into family trauma and treatment. One shares a mistrust of therapy stemming from a dismissive male therapist in high school, later negative experiences including marriage counseling, a session with an ex-husband’s therapist that felt like an ambush, and a longer but ultimately poor-fit therapist after a major diagnosis involving severe dissociative disorder. Jaelene describes talk therapy after divorce and maternal trauma, addiction disclosure, limited prison counseling focused on medication access, and later life-changing but difficult EMDR after a toxic relationship. They compare talk therapy with neuroscience, nervous-system regulation, body work, data from wearables revealing dissociation, and emphasize fit, honesty, and access barriers, noting consistent healing from movement like hiking and the gym. 00:00 Welcome and Setup 00:34 Catch Up and TV Talk 02:35 Therapy Topic Begins 03:13 First Therapy Experience 06:13 Marriage Counseling Lessons 08:38 Therapy Misfires and Diagnosis 11:37 Talk Therapy After Trauma 13:48 EMDR and Deeper Healing 14:32 Body Work and Neuroscience 17:19 Accepting PTSD Signs 19:52 Nervous System Tools 20:39 Dissociation Realizations 21:22 Stress Zero While Driving 22:32 When Data Reveals Dissociation 23:57 Dissociation Win Or Loss 24:59 Why Talk Therapy Misses 26:47 Fit Access And Honesty 31:26 What Actually Helps Healing 34:08 Movement As Medicine 37:29 Diagnoses Validation Vs Shame 40:24 Wrapping Up Next Topic

In part two of their introduction on The Unvarnished Edit, Angie and and Jaelene discuss being misunderstood as standoffish, explaining how introversion, social anxiety, analytical thinking, learned “seen not heard” behavior, and safety-assessing after past betrayals shape how they come across. They reflect on caring less about others’ opinions with age, how appearance and liking nice things can reinforce assumptions, and tease a future conversation about femininity. Asked what they’d tell their younger selves, they emphasize that their experiences are valid, life isn’t that serious, and they’ll be okay—plus “leave him.” They describe their trauma-informed friendship as a nonjudgmental space and touch on PTSD, attachment issues, therapy honesty, EMDR.   00:00 Episode 2 Unvarnished Edit 00:23 What People Misunderstand About Us: Aloof, Bitchy, or Just Guarded? 06:39 Caring What People Think, Femininity, and the Next Conversation We Need 09:58 Advice to your younger self: validation, leaving him & taking life less seriously 12:41 Childhood dreams: big families, law school plans & the paths we didn’t take 16:12 From Wisconsin winters to Arizona sun: how I ended up at ASU 19:47 Ohio to Utah to Arizona: faith shifts, culture shock & wanting out of the heat 34:56 Therapy honesty, EMDR exhaustion & why naps are part of healing (wrap-up)

In the first episode of The Unvarnished Edit, friends Jaelene and Angie introduce themselves and explain why they’re starting a podcast about living an adversity-filled life with humor and honesty. They discuss parenting identity, accountability, and wanting to amplify voices of people still struggling with fewer resources. They share mottos for hard times and preview a part-two episode.   00:00 Episode 1 Unvarnished Edit 01:52 When Parenting Becomes Your Identity (and Adult Kids Still Expect Everything) 03:40 Why We’re Starting This Podcast: Trust, Accountability, and Real Talk 07:20 Who This Podcast Is For: Women, Parents, Strugglers, and the Uncomfortable Truths 10:40 What Success Looks Like: Feeling Seen, Building Community, and Learning Out Loud 12:51 Trauma Therapy & Humor: Will EMDR Make Me Less Funny? 15:49 Do We Have Credibility? Lived Experience, Imposter Syndrome, and Brain Science 22:30 Default Mindsets When Life Gets Hard: “This Too Shall Pass” & “Next Right Thing” 27:38 Worst-Case Scenario Brains + Practical Survival Tips (Paper Plates Included)