The Wild She: She Speaks

Excerpts from: make a fucking scene – conclusion“ I was never really a good girl. I don’t know if any female is ever actually really created to be a good girl. All I know is that I’m not one of them and I don’t think I’ll ever pretend to be one again.”“ I remember standing in the field at our house, wine glass in hand, fist to the sky, ranting and raving, telling God that I wasn’t changing anything about my life, and if he wanted something changed with my life, well then, he could just merrily do it himself.”

Excerpts from: make a fucking scene – part one“ tenderly she asked me: what does She want to do? She? Yes. The She that lives in your body.”“ my pendulum was way on the extreme side, and as a result, I earned a title. A reputation.”

Excerpts from: Saudade“ saudade is a feeling of longing, melancholy, desire, and nostalgia. It describes a deep emotional state; a yearning for a happiness that has passed, or perhaps never even existed.”“ this is her second marriage. The first one was nothing short of a horror. A Dumpster fire, in modern day terms.”

Exerts from: reminders of redemption – part two and conclusion“ in order to tell the rest of the story, I need to take you back to mid May of that same year – 2016. I just been blindsided by information about my husband that no wife ever wants to find out.”“ an embryonic intimacy and respect was blooming between us. I realize now that it was the beginning of redemption, for both of us.

Excerpts from: reminders of redemption – part one“ the story I’m about to tell isn’t one. I’m particularly proud of. I’ve told the story to many, but omitted the background details in most cases. The details of what led up to the actual event.”“ he and I have a mutual respect and trust with each other. He wasn’t going to let me out of this. Appealed the bandages off and saw the look on his face. It was horror and deep concern.”

Excerpts from Squeezeturn: “ I wondered, though, how many times have I squeezedturned, instead of squeezing and turning.”“There are just some things in life that require a loving process. No shortcuts.”

Excerpts from: hope, my journey of life and growth with Jesus by Amy Jeffcoat“Hope. It’s easy to talk about. It’s easy to say, have hope. It’s easy to tell others. It sounds beautiful and it looks beautiful when you see it. But have you seen what is underneath it or behind it when you have seen it beautifully spoken about?”“ Peace is doing the uncomfortable. Sitting with yourself in the uncomfortable. Facing facts and things you really don’t want to hear, but are necessary for change.”

Excerpts from: Marionette Theatre“ if Should Be was a person, it would be highly narcissistic in nature, ADHD in its actions and Machiavellian in its thoughts. A psychopath in totality.”“ be a slave to me, it asks. And yet, I sit a corrupted Shiva with the past. Not grieving in order to heal, but stuck and dug in. Arms crossed and bottom lip poked out – not willing to leave the stinking, putrid body. I’m. Not. Leaving.”

Excerpts from: snafu“ I didn’t know then and still don’t know now, if that’s an accurate explanation of the extra days and I decided I didn’t want to know for sure. I just want mini resurrections.”“ i’m well accustomed to death, but not this kind of death. Not the kind where something is killed and gone, but still around. Not the kind where I can still see it, but it isn’t a functioning part of me anymore.”

Excerpts from: that word“ a relative of mine emailed me last night. She is concerned with my use of the F word in my writings.”“ what is taboo to you, is poetry to me.”

Excerpts from: tender mercies“ my mom‘s death was expected. She’s been diagnosed with breast cancer 20 years before and had cycled into remission and relapse several times. I think we all knew that she wouldn’t live to be an old woman. I think she knew it too.”“ they were mini reprieves for my grief. A deep restorative breath so that we could keep going.”

Excerpts from: little dreams“ my fear inevitably takes over, no matter what angle I come up with.”“ she continued – suggesting to me that maybe I’m not so scared of the actual doing of it, but in the giving myself permission to enjoy the experience of doing it.”

Excerpts from: pendulum“ neither one working, but my ego, bound and determined, that given enough force or disregard, the flesh would prevail.”“ force an apathy removed, though, and the pendulum will eventually in fairly quickly, return to Center.”

Excerpts from: Less overcorrections, more glimmers – a submitted writing by Wendy Graham:“As I embrace the more woo side of myself, I’ve read a lot this weekend about the energy of the new moon and how now is the most potent time to plant seeds of what you’d like to cultivate in the future. I want more peace. Not a pony or 1 million bucks. I want peace and ease and joy.”“ I started to rattle off all the things I did when I was 48 as a badge of honor, falling back into my programming that ‘busyness is better’. What I really want to write about is that all of those things were just shiny objects of distraction as I navigated most of the first full year on the planet without my mother.”

Excerpts from: It’s never about the garlic“I’m here to think about the bigger picture, because we all know that the same scenario, in some fashion, played itself out in homes across the world last night.”“The last night my ex-husband and I ever spent the night together with our kids, in our house, we had a massive argument. About garlic.”

Excerpts from: Inside out“Recently, I’ve been having big thought dreams – ones that will take organization and logistical planning and smaller thought dreams that will be fairly easy to achieve.”“What they never are is stagnant or crazy making like they would be if they stayed in my brain.”

Excerpts from: Rescue“Brené Brown calls endeavors like this an FFT – first fucking time. She encourages lots of reality, boundaries around expectations, and grace, in order to make the experience, not completely horrifying and traumatizing.”“Colton rounded the corner of the dugout, I moved in even closer… and he popped his head up and looked dead into my eyes. Those eyes told me: NO.”

Excerpts from: Warning – the coffee is hot in my feelings are complicated“I’m still a little high and a whole lot hung over from what I wrote about over the past three days.”“I’m thinking about how if I never witnessed my elder close-ones moving through the grief process for more than a week or two how could I even begin to know how mind bending, soul wrenching and necessary grieving is?”

Excerpts from: Possession- a submitted writing by Monroe S. Evers: “But when you’re a possession, you always think of your owner first.”“In someone else’s clothes, in someone else’s bed. For this moment, I was safe.”

Excerpts from A Love Letter To Myself, My Children, and My Future Partner- PART 3: “This is me. These are my nonnegotiables:…”“#11. Sometimes I don’t wear deodorant. I love the way I smell – the natural way I smell. It reminds me of where I came from. Also, sometimes I don’t groom, especially in the winter.”

Excerpts from A Love Letter To Myself, My Children, and My Future Partner- PART 2:“From the age of around 15 years old, I’ve let men fill my bucket with whatever the hell they want.”“I’ve had men dissect the way my body looks – tell me how to groom myself, not groom, myself, cut my hair, grow my hair, wear this, wear that, you’re not tall enough, don’t wear those shoes because then you’ll be too tall and I like the way it feels to look really big next to you.”

Excerpts From A Love Letter to Myself, My Children, and My Future Partner- PART 1: “Even as I begin to write this, I am seething. White hot. Free basing rage with a 10” diameter pipe.”“ I thought about dialing the rage back, but no: it’s my mind, my heart, my words, my Paige, my experience – so I’m going to use whatever words I fucking want to.”

Excerpts from Two Twitches and a Scream: “It start says physical independence and moves onto mental and emotional independence. That’s one more thing to take off my list.”“Waiting to see if I’m going to be able to shake it myself.”

Excerpts from Love Bites: “It taps into deep suffering and pain. Divorced from one husband, death took the second husband.”“He’s asking me to lay down some pretty heavy armor, redirect my brain and open my heart.”

Excerpts from I Don’t Wanna: “I’m just kind of uninspired, but also excited about the day and I’m telling myself that I need a break. I deserve a break.”“I know that the morning discipline of: wash the face, brush the hair, make the coffee, sit down and write, sets the tone of my day, sets the level of dedication to integrity for myself and to other people.”

Excerpts from Time For Fun:“Sometimes at the same time because let’s face it: life can get weird.”“ Joanna has lots of friends who see her when she is struggling. They speak up loudly and kindly.”

Excerpts from Freedom: “There are some things our flesh walks us into that our flesh won’t be able to walk us out of.”“The decision must be made, to continue on with the lie, to continue to belong to each other in that spiritual sense that is the jailer of truth, or to turn away from the lie – thereby avoiding the agreement.”*** She Speaks welcomes story submissions from women who feel called to share their voice. We’re seeking short, reflective pieces rooted in lived experience — stories shaped by grief, addiction, loss, becoming, love, healing, or the quiet moments in between. There’s no required lesson or resolution; we value honesty and emotional truth over perfection. If you have a story that feels ready to be spoken, send it to the email listed in the show notes, along with your name (or a note if you prefer to remain anonymous) and a brief description of your piece. 

Excerpts from: Out Of Sight “He rolled over to his side to expose his back, and I audibly and loudly gasped – may have even let out a little scream.”“Mike knew something had happened to him – pain and experience was informing him that there was a problem. Because there was a problem.”*** She Speaks welcomes story submissions from women who feel called to share their voice. We’re seeking short, reflective pieces rooted in lived experience — stories shaped by grief, addiction, loss, becoming, love, healing, or the quiet moments in between. There’s no required lesson or resolution; we value honesty and emotional truth over perfection. If you have a story that feels ready to be spoken, send it to the email listed in the show notes, along with your name (or a note if you prefer to remain anonymous) and a brief description of your piece. 

Excerpts from: The Witness“I’ve been told several times, by two different and very significant people, at two very different times in my life that I look at myself in the mirror a lot.”“A little bud of darkest truth has been unfolding for several months now: much of my life I’ve felt invisible.”*** She Speaks welcomes story submissions from women who feel called to share their voice. We’re seeking short, reflective pieces rooted in lived experience — stories shaped by grief, addiction, loss, becoming, love, healing, or the quiet moments in between. There’s no required lesson or resolution; we value honesty and emotional truth over perfection. If you have a story that feels ready to be spoken, send it to the email listed in the show notes, along with your name (or a note if you prefer to remain anonymous) and a brief description of your piece. 

Excerpts from: Hidden In Plain Sight“Please, please, please – if you are offput by any of these words I use specific to my life, just insert whatever you ascribe to.”“With old books, old people, antiquated ideas… They were flying their freak flag!”*** She Speaks welcomes story submissions from women who feel called to share their voice. We’re seeking short, reflective pieces rooted in lived experience — stories shaped by grief, addiction, loss, becoming, love, healing, or the quiet moments in between. There’s no required lesson or resolution; we value honesty and emotional truth over perfection. If you have a story that feels ready to be spoken, send it to the email listed in the show notes, along with your name (or a note if you prefer to remain anonymous) and a brief description of your piece. 

Excerpts from: The Spring Forward“I’m thinking about how, in my personal life, I’d like to go to sleep in spring forward three or four months and wake up unburdened.”“ The problem isn’t in the past and the solution isn’t in the future.”*** She Speaks welcomes story submissions from women who feel called to share their voice. We’re seeking short, reflective pieces rooted in lived experience — stories shaped by grief, addiction, loss, becoming, love, healing, or the quiet moments in between. There’s no required lesson or resolution; we value honesty and emotional truth over perfection. If you have a story that feels ready to be spoken, send it to the email listed in the show notes, along with your name (or a note if you prefer to remain anonymous) and a brief description of your piece. 

Excerpts from: An Acquired Taste“Now, I understand that his baby brain was caught up on the actual taste of the wine, but my brain was thinking about the metaphorical blood.” “The kind that doesn’t necessarily taste good, at all, to your mouth, but will save you from the hellish moments we find ourselves in.”*** She Speaks welcomes story submissions from women who feel called to share their voice. We’re seeking short, reflective pieces rooted in lived experience — stories shaped by grief, addiction, loss, becoming, love, healing, or the quiet moments in between. There’s no required lesson or resolution; we value honesty and emotional truth over perfection. If you have a story that feels ready to be spoken, send it to the email listed in the show notes, along with your name (or a note if you prefer to remain anonymous) and a brief description of your piece. 

Excerpts from: The Obstructed View“ He went on to tell me that they aren’t exactly sure to what degree the view will be obstructed, but there’s a possibility that nothing on stage will be visible.”“Like pretty much everything in this world, there’s a scale that has two sides to it and the only way to equalize. It is to put the same size mass on both sides.”***She Speaks welcomes story submissions from women who feel called to share their voice. We’re seeking short, reflective pieces rooted in lived experience — stories shaped by grief, addiction, loss, becoming, love, healing, or the quiet moments in between. There’s no required lesson or resolution; we value honesty and emotional truth over perfection. If you have a story that feels ready to be spoken, send it to the email listed in the show notes, along with your name (or a note if you prefer to remain anonymous) and a brief description of your piece. 

Excerpts from-Day 4: Holy Ground“This is the one I’ve been dreading. This is the one that’s been balled up tight in my stomach, only to get caught in my throat when I attempt to hack it up.”“I’ve always pictured a life/a person as this intricate machine that has a hard exterior- exterior- bones and sinew- impenetrable. Death is a candle inside the machine. So delicate. And once it’s time, all it takes is one blow. The candle is extinguished. The machine served its purpose, but it wasn’t enough.”****The Wild She: She Speaks welcomes story submissions from women who feel called to share their voice. We’re seeking short, reflective pieces rooted in lived experience — stories shaped by grief, addiction, loss, becoming, love, healing, or the quiet moments in between. There’s no required lesson or resolution; we value honesty and emotional truth over perfection. If you have a story that feels ready to be spoken, send it to the email listed in the show notes, along with your name (or a note if you prefer to remain anonymous) and a brief description of your piece.

Excerpt from –Day 3: Corrected Vision“No one to rescue me – they couldn’t have even if they tried. I was alone in my own internal wilderness.”****She Speaks welcomes story submissions from women who feel called to share their voice. We’re seeking short, reflective pieces rooted in lived experience — stories shaped by grief, addiction, loss, becoming, love, healing, or the quiet moments in between. There’s no required lesson or resolution; we value honesty and emotional truth over perfection. If you have a story that feels ready to be spoken, send it to the email listed in the show notes, along with your name (or a note if you prefer to remain anonymous) and a brief description of your piece.

Excerpts from: Day 2- Putrefaction “ You let it consume you, you let it eat, you alive, you let it rot inside of you, you let it decay and kill what it wants.”“These decisions will wreck me, these decisions will save me, these decisions will take me to the top of the mountain where earth and heaven meet. These decisions will take me to the stinking foul funkiest depth of hell. I’m pretty sure it’s the same place.”****She Speaks welcomes story submissions from women who feel called to share their voice. We’re seeking short, reflective pieces rooted in lived experience — stories shaped by grief, addiction, loss, becoming, love, healing, or the quiet moments in between. There’s no required lesson or resolution; we value honesty and emotional truth over perfection. If you have a story that feels ready to be spoken, send it to the email listed in the show notes, along with your name (or a note if you prefer to remain anonymous) and a brief description of your piece.

Excerpts from: The Naked Mole Rat“Even if I have nothing to write about, I’m going to trust God is going to drop an inspired thought into my head, a person in my path, a lesson in my lane.”“ and then, God tenderly drop the meaning into my heart: baby girl, you’re a blind mole in the middle of the asphalt too.”****She Speaks welcomes story submissions from women who feel called to share their voice. We’re seeking short, reflective pieces rooted in lived experience — stories shaped by grief, addiction, loss, becoming, love, healing, or the quiet moments in between. There’s no required lesson or resolution; we value honesty and emotional truth over perfection. If you have a story that feels ready to be spoken, send it to the email listed in the show notes, along with your name (or a note if you prefer to remain anonymous) and a brief description of your piece.

She Speaks is a collection of short, vivid stories drawn from life’s quiet corners and its loudest moments.Written and voiced by Joanna, each episode offers a reflective glimpse into themes of grief, loss, becoming, and the spaces in between. These are not stories meant to instruct or persuade — they are invitations to feel, to notice, and to sit with what rises.Episodes are brief, intentional, and open to interpretation.No answers. No agenda.Just stories that linger — and sometimes reveal something you didn’t realize you were carrying.While centered on Joanna’s voice, She Speaks also makes space for other women to be heard — writers, feelers, and truth-tellers sharing pieces of their own lived experience.Listen.Reflect.And see what rises.