This is NOT a PODCAST!

The espresso is finally brewing. And while it is, something unexpected comes up.NOT Episode SIX starts with a beeping espresso machine behind a closed bathroom door — and becomes one of the most honest episodes in the series. Derrick traces a lifelong pattern of getting all the way to the edge of something and then stopping. Not because he couldn't. Because he convinced himself it wasn't good enough.There was the dance scholarship. The studio. The camera. Everything ready — and then he walked away.He's not walking away this time.In this not-episode:Why he shut the bathroom door to hide the espresso machine — and what that revealsHow childhood patterns show up in adult creative blocks without us even knowingThe dance scholarship he was this close to — and why he scrapped itWhy this podcast exists at 3:54am on May 5th, 2025The most personal episode yet. And the most necessary.This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dureeko.substack.com

Halfway there. Still no espresso. Absolutely no regrets.NOT Episode FIVE hits the midpoint of this creative experiment — and it turns out the secret to getting here was embarrassingly simple: remove the obstacles and just start. A $10 TikTok Shop microphone clipped to a phone. No fancy setup. No system. No overthinking.Derrick wrote his first book — start to finish, published and for sale — in 48 hours. That book was called Just Get Published. This is that same energy, just in a different medium.In this not-episode:Why simplicity is the actual strategyThe $10 microphone that made five episodes possibleHow his first book went from idea to published in 48 hours — and what that has to do with thisWhy you don't need a system right now. You just need to create.Halfway to ten. Coffee incoming. Still going.This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dureeko.substack.com

Less than 10 minutes into recording and the inner critic already showed up.NOT Episode FOUR captures something most creators never say out loud — the moment perfectionism walks in mid-creation. The ring tapping the phone. The urge to edit. The voice that says is this good enough?Derrick names it in real time. And something interesting happens: the moment he names it, it starts to fade.In this not-episode:What happens when perfectionism shows up 10 minutes into a creative sessionWhy naming your inner critic out loud is enough to defuse itThe part of your brain that's trying to protect you — and why you don't have to listen to itWhy a two-minute episode is just as valid as any otherShort. Honest. And proof that keeping on is always the move.This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dureeko.substack.com

No espresso yet. Three episodes in. Still going.NOT Episode THREE is a dare — to the listener and to himself. If this isn't for you, turn it off. No hard feelings. And if it is? Welcome.This one gets into something real: what it actually feels like to exist unapologetically, without code-switching, without performing, without shrinking into whatever shape someone else needs you to be. Plus — Derrick issues himself a challenge: record all the way to NOT Episode TEN without listening back to a single one.In this not-episode:The freedom of truly not caring if you turn it offWhat "unapologetically me" actually feels like as a lived experienceThe unglamorous, normal, sometimes boring parts of life — and the beauty inside themWhy he's committing to zero editing, zero listening back, zero second-guessingRaw. Unfiltered. Created and released — just to see what happens.This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dureeko.substack.com

Recorded less than 60 seconds after NOT Episode ONE — because why wait?NOT Episode TWO is where the experiment starts to reveal itself. No espresso yet. No agenda. Just an honest conversation about what it means to stop performing and start being.As Derrick approaches his 50th birthday, one thing becomes undeniably clear: there's no more time to be anyone other than exactly who he is. Raw, unedited, and unapologetically real — this is what freedom sounds like in practice.In this not-episode:Why the format gets to change from episode to episode — and why that's the whole pointThe difference between performing and being, and why one gets exhaustingWhat turning 50 has to do with finally choosing freedomWhy unpolished, unfiltered, and uncut is actually the preferenceThree minutes. Long pauses included. No apologies.This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dureeko.substack.com

What happens when you're too afraid to start a podcast… so you start something that isn't one?NOT Episode ONE is where it all begins — recorded at 3:30am in a Santa Fe hotel room, the night before a coaching intensive with mentor Rich Litvin, on a travel espresso machine and zero sleep. No agenda. No topics. No rules.Just one creator deciding that "not good enough" is no longer a good enough reason to stay quiet.This is an experiment. A passion project. A rebellion against perfectionism dressed up as a podcast — except it's not. It's whatever it wants to be. And that's exactly the point.In this not-episode:Why calling it "NOT a podcast" is the only way it could existThe fear of failure that almost kept this from happeningWhat it means to create something selfishly — for yourself firstWhy 3:30am in Santa Fe with an espresso machine is the perfect origin storyFive minutes. No rules. Just pure authenticity. Welcome to what is definitely NOT a podcast.This Is NOT a PODCAST! is hosted by not-your-host Derrick Yanford — meditation teacher, coach, choreographer, author, and recovering perfectionist. New not-episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe on Substack at substack.com/@dureeko This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dureeko.substack.com