PODCAST · kids
To Be A Boy
by Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae
To Be A Boy dives into the chaos of raising boys today — from dodgy masculinity myths to the wild world of online culture. Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae mix humour with sharp takes on the policies, systems and social norms shaping boys’ lives. It’s real talk, big laughs, and a nudge toward a fairer future.
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Live from the Push 4 Paternity Leave March!
Recorded live at Push 4 Paternity Leave, this super special episode captures the vibe that was that day. Consider it another chance to soak up the energy, humour and urgency behind the fight for better parental leave. Expect brilliant speeches, honest stories and a powerful case for why better paternity leave matters for dads, mums, children, relationships and society. In short: two weeks is a joke, and parents deserve more.
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When Boys Care: The Quiet Superpower of Responsibility with Gavin Morgan
Be prepared for a warm heart: Elliott and Joeli are joined by Gavin Morgan, co-CEO of the Scottish charity Growing2gether, whose work pairs teenagers who are struggling with younger children in nurseries and primary schools. We’re exploring what happens when boys are trusted with something real to care about: how responsibility can soften the armour, build confidence, and open the door to connection. From a powerful story of a selectively mute nursery child finding his voice, to practical reflections on presence, belonging, and the kind of community young people are searching for, this episode is a hopeful reminder that boys don’t need “fixing”, they need to be SEEN.
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Men’s Health Strategy Is Not a Poster in a GP Surgery with Professor Paul Galdas
We’re joined by Professor Paul Galdas (University of York), chair of the Men’s Health Academic Network and a key architect of the UK’s men’s health strategy. We dig into why men delay seeking help and why the answer isn’t “men need to do better”, but services that fit how men actually live. From loneliness and deprivation to father-inclusive care, paternity leave, and the post-Manosphere search for meaning, this is a practical episode on what needs to change and what parents can do for the boys in their orbit.
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The Box We Put Men In
Joeli and Elliott sit down with the glorious author of 'Be A Man About It' and men’s health advocate, George Bell to unpack what “man up” really teaches boys and what it costs them later. From emotional literacy and male loneliness to the collapse of community “third spaces”, they explore how parents, schools and role models can help boys ask for help without shame and grow into men who can be strong and soft at the same time. You can get George's superb book here: linktr.ee/georgeybell
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The Manosphere After the Camera Stops
Louis Theroux’s Manosphere documentary asked what is this? This episode asks what do we do now? Joined by NSPCC’s Ineke Houtenbos, we unpack how boys actually encounter Manosphere content, why algorithms reward rage, and what it’s really doing to boys’ mental health and girls’ safety. One for parents looking for what they can do when the internet is shouting louder than they are.Here with some signposts for you: Tackling misogyny masterclass | On-demand training | NSPCC LearningFree online safety webinars for schools | NSPCC LearningChildline | Free counselling service for kids and young people | ChildlineContact us | NSPCCReport child abuse | NSPCCDonate to Charity Online | Give to NSPCC today | NSPCC
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Kate Dearden: Day-One Dads, Fair Play & What Comes Next
Day‑one parental rights. Stronger protections at work. An end to silence agreements hiding discrimination. And a serious rethink of how the UK supports parents to actually afford time with their kids.The Employment Rights Act is changing the rules of work and this conversation gets into what that really means for dads, mums, self‑employed parents, kinship carers and families trying to stay afloat. From paternity leave that finally starts on day one, to flexible working that employers can’t just dismiss, to the long‑overdue review of parental leave and pay, we dig into where the system is shifting, where it still falls short, and what comes next.This is about fairness, dignity, and whether work in the UK is finally starting to catch up with real life.Check out the following resources: New employment rights: Guidance for businesses and workers - providing guidance for employers and workersMake Work Pay - GOV.UK - where you can find consultations and policy papers relating to the government's Make Work Pay initiative
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Joe Wicks Counters With Some Positive Masculinity...
Joe Wicks, is a GOOD MAN – the type we're glad to role model to our boys. And Hark! Lucky us, he joins To Be A Boy for a powerful conversation about boys, body image, gym culture, social media pressure and modern fatherhood. The man is home schooling his four children alongside his wife and we love that for them. From growing up without a male role model to becoming a PE teacher to millions, Joe reflects on how movement can support boys’ mental health and when fitness culture can tip into obsession and explores how parents can help boys grow into kind, emotionally healthy men, not just strong bodies.A must‑listen for anyone raising boys in a world full of algorithms, abs and unrealistic expectations.
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Fatherhood Is Not a Side Quest: Dr. Anna Machin on Raising Boys & Saving Society
Joeli and Elliott dive into the biology, psychology and sheer chaos of fatherhood with evolutionary anthropologist Dr. Anna Machin. They look at the wild hormonal rewiring, brain upgrades and instinctive nurturing behaviours that kick in when men become fathers. Spoiler: testosterone drops, oxytocin rises, and suddenly dad is biologically primed to bond, care and spot danger like a caffeinated meerkat. From rough‑and‑tumble play (which is apparently developmental gold) to the hidden crisis of UK paternity leave, this episode tackles the science behind why dads matter. We also explore the big issues shaping boyhood today: fatherlessness, social father figures, resilience, emotional development, toxic masculinity myths, and why youth clubs disappearing is basically society shooting itself in the foot. This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK. Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl
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Under 16s vs Social Media: Kanishka Narayan MP, Online Safety Minister Enters the Chat
The UK is deciding whether to ban under‑16s from social media, and we’ve got the Online Safety Minister in the hot seat but before that they chew the fat on THAT vote in parliament and who’s right in the knock ginger/knock-a-door run debate…Elliott and Joeli grill Kanishka Narayan on screen‑time addiction, bullying, harmful content, porn regulation, school‑wide phone bans, and whether often-times glacial governments stand a chance of keeping up with tech giants.If you care about kids, policy or your own scrolling habits, thisone’s for you.Parents are invited to access the online safety hubhere: https://www.educateagainsthate.com/online-safety-parent-hub/And the online consultation here: http://www.gov.uk/government/consultations/growing-up-in-the-online-world-a-national-consultationThis episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcaremarketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part time nannies. From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK. Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl
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Social Media Showdown: Should Teens Log Off for Good?
Join this lively debate with Joeli and Elliott, as experts Sonia Livingstone and Susie Davies tackle the hot topic of social media bans for under-16s in the UK. Discover the pros and cons of digital consent age, the impact on mental health, and the role of parents in navigating the digital landscape. The gloves are off! (No experts were harmed in the recording of this episode.)This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl
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REPLAY: Josh Sargent on Social Media Bans and Online Masculinity
Rerelease alert! First aired on 10 June 2025, this episode with our favourite feels even more relevant now that the government is flirting with the idea of booting under 16s off social media entirely. So we’re revisiting our chat with 15 year old Josh Sargent — boy, book writer, manosphere decoder, and all round legend. Josh breaks down how teen boys get sucked into online masculinity culture, why Andrew Tate was everywhere, and what finally snapped him out of it. Still one of our favourite episodes, and honestly… even more relevant (and alarming) in 2026.We're also pointing you towards our Push for Paternity March: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/push-for-paternity-leave-tickets-1982354647113This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl
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From Gang Life to Gentle Fatherhood: Fredi Nwaka & a Varied Modern Manhood
Filmmaker, author and former rapper Fredi Nwaka joins Elliott and Joeli for a powerful, funny and deeply honest conversation about modern masculinity, fatherhood, vulnerability, identity, gang life and healing. From growing up as “the only Black boy in the world” to redefining what it means to be a strong man, Fredi shares lessons on softness, parenting, legacy and the boys we’re raising today. And yes, we get a live rap on the show...We know you’re going to get the Fredi bug like we did, and you can follow him on Instagram: @therealfredinwaka @boy_by_fredinwaka and get signed copies of the book directly from his website www.fredinwaka.com although it's available from Amazon, Waterstones, Foyles and all good bookstores too. Enjoy the Fredi vibes! This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl
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Frontline Boys: What Teachers Really See In The Classroom
In this episode of To Be A Boy, Elliott and Joeli bring together two seasoned secondary school teachers: Will in Newcastle and Machel in London to dig into pull back the curtain on what’s actually going on with boys today. From “TikTokified” worldviews and “bantified” misogyny to the quiet crises unfolding in the school corridors, they reveal a rapidly shifting landscape that teachers are somehow expected to fix with little more than a whiteboard pen and a prayer. Their stories are equal parts hard, inspiring and deeply human, offering a frontline perspective that cuts through the headlines and hysteria.This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl
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Skincare, Stand‑Up & Surviving Grief with Darren Harriott
Comedian Darren Harriot joins us for a raw and unsurprisingly funny conversation about grief, masculinity and growing up after losing his dad at 11. From childhood depression to adult shame, from stand‑up as survival to the pressure men feel to “hold it all together,” Darren opens up with honesty and insight. We were really grateful to talk to him about his story. A powerful, hopeful episode for anyone raising boys, loving men, or figuring out their own story. If this resonates with you, we invite you to listen to Darren's show, Father Figuring: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/series/m002lzw8 This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl
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Why So Many Men Are Struggling - And What Helps (with Gary Barker)
We sit down with the absolutely delightful Gary Barker, CEO of Equimundo for an honest and hopeful conversation about why so many boys and men feel lonely, overwhelmed and disconnected. No small ask: we're asking him what the hell we can do about it. From friendships to (ye olde favourite,) screens to the pressure to “provide,” Gary talks Joeli and Elliott through the big picture, and has a signature warmth that'll suck you in and some much needed clarity. We're jealous that you haven't heard this yet - enjoy! https://equimundo.orghttps://www.equimundo.org/resources/state-of-uk-men-2025/This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl
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The intelligent and compassionate education of Boys with Richard Pomfrett
In this episode, we sit down with Richard Pomfrett, a martial‑arts‑instructor‑turned‑boy‑whisperer, to unpack why boys sometimes go from chatty little legends to mysterious, grunty teenagers who only communicate via Fortnite and side‑eye. Richard’s spent 25 years helping boys navigate the pressures of modern masculinity, from “must‑get‑six‑pack‑before-puberty” anxiety to the weird world of online influencers.He also shares his brilliantly simple recipe for getting boys to open up: “be open, be positive, be curious”. It's emotional first aid, minus the tiny plasters. Whether you're a parent, teacher or someone just trying to understand why your kid suddenly needs a six‑figure salary by Year 6, this one is packed solid with practical tips. https://www.boyz-2-men.org.uk/https://TheStaySafeInitiative.org.ukThis episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl
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Sharing the Care: A Sort Of Love Story
What happens when you dig into unpaid labour and accidentally expose the entire wiring of modern family life?In this episode of To Be A Boy, Joeli and Elliott chat with the brilliant Melissa Hogenboom, author of Breadwinners, about why sharing the care still feels revolutionary, why breadwinning still clings to outdated gender scripts, and why so many men discover far too late that the nappy bag does not self‑restock. Together they unpack the invisible work running households, relationships and mental health: the unseen planning others absorb, the pressure men carry as designated “providers,” and the hopeful rise of caring masculinities. A funny, warm, quietly radical episode for anyone trying to build a more equal home, one chore, one conversation at a time. This episode is supported by Philips Avent, a brand trusted by families for over 40 years. With its Share the Care mission, the brand is helping mums reclaim time for themselves and championing a shift in how we think about parenting.
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Share the Care: How Supporting Mums Helps Families Thrive with Marci El-Deiry and Philips
Motherhood is magical… but it can also be utterly exhausting. In this episode of To Be a Boy, Marci El-Deiry, Leader of Philips Mother and Child Care and working parent sits down with Joeli and Elliott to unpack why the world urgently needs to rethink how we talk about mums, selfcare, and the mythical idea of “doing it all.”From the shocking reality that most mums get less than an hour to themselves each day to the cultural scripts that pressure mothers to martyr themselves, Marci brings honesty, humour, and a global business perspective to a conversation parents need to hear. She reveals how shared caregiving, supportive “villages,” and small everyday shifts can help families not just survive, but thrive – for the sake of our boys and children. If you care about a mother, are a mother, or simply want to understand the invisible load behind early parenthood, this episode will change how you see the first year — and the role we all play in it.This episode is supported by Philips Avent, a brand trusted by families for over 40 years. With its Share the Care mission, the brand is helping mums reclaim time for themselves and championing a shift in how we think about parenting.
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To Be A Prime Minister: Keir Starmer and the Employment Rights Act
We start the podcast’s year off with a super special guest: it’s only the Prime Minister in the chair! This episode of To Be A Boy was recorded in IKEA Croydon, among meatballs and Billy bookcases, where Elliott Rae and Joeli Brearley grilled Sir Keir Starmer on the biggest shake-up to workers’ rights in a generation: the Employment Rights Act.We’re talking stronger flexible working laws, miscarriage leave, enhanced protections for parents, and a day-one right to sick pay. Plus, we tackle zero-hour contracts, sexual harassment prevention, and menopause action plans. And because we’re us, we didn’t stop there: childcare costs, mental health for dads, and whether six weeks paid paternity leave could actually happen all made the cut.It’s bold, it’s honest, and it’s served with a side of Swedish meatballs. If you care about parental rights, gender equality, and the future of family life in the UK, this is the episode you didn’t know you needed.This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies. From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl
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The Conversations That Changed Us
We’re back in the studio (and yes, the chairs are dangerously comfy) to celebrate nearly a year of To Be A Boy. From Ruth Whippman’s eye-opening research on raising boys, to Lenore Skenazy convincing us to let kids roam free, to John Amaechi’s powerful truths about identity, we’re unpacking the moments that made us laugh, cry, and rethink everything. Plus, a shout-out to Josh—the 14-year-old genius who might just save masculinity. Join us for highlights, surprises, and a little festive chaos as we look ahead to what’s next.Thanks for a wonderful year, wonderful listeners!
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Raising a Boy with Autism: A Journey Through Stigma and Strength
What does it take to raise a brilliant boy with autism in a world full of stigma, systemic hurdles, and cultural misconceptions? In this episode, childcare lawyer and super-mum Deborah Otubambo shares her 21-year journey of advocacy, resilience, and hope whilst raising a son with autism. From the early days of confusion and cultural stigma to navigating the complex world of EHCPs and education, Deborah shares what it really takes to advocate for your child against systemic hurdles. She talks candidly about the emotional toll, the misconceptions she faced, and how her perspective on diagnosis evolved over time. This conversation is a raw and hopeful look at resilience, community, and redefining success for families of children with special educational needs.Some notes for you:The number of cases brought to tribunal that are successful is actually 98%: https://www.specialneedsjungle.com/55-rise-2024-send-tribunal-appeals-cost-families-incalculable/Costs can vary wildly - and unless you get legal aid then it can cost up to £20,000 to take this action. Resources mentioned in this episode include: https://www.ipsea.org.ukhttps://www.braain.co.uk/senhttps://family-action.org.uk/our-work-impact/send/https://sossen.org.ukhttps://www.specialneedsjungle.com
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Algorithms, Allyship & AI Girlfriends: Growing Up Boy in 2025 with Lee Chambers
What does it mean to grow up as a boy today? Spoiler: It’s not all football and moonwalks anymore. In this episode of To Be A Boy, Joeli and Elliott sit down with Lee Chambers, psychologist, and founder of Male Allies UK, and all-around champion for modern masculinity. They are unpacking a report that’s both eye-opening and alarming - although there is some hope mixed in too!From boys feeling unheard and disconnected to the rise of AI “girlfriends”, Lee takes us inside the minds of the next generation and asks: what happens when adolescence collides with algorithms and what can we do as allies?
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Mirror, Mirror on Masculinity: Are We Getting It Right?
In this episode of To Be a Boy, our Elliott and Joeli are getting stuck into the fascinating (and occasionally sobering) world of modern masculinity. Joined by Joe Hall from Channel 4 and Fergus Navaratnam-Blair from the National Research Group, we’re unpacking the findings of the Mirror on Masculinities report. From why a third of men rarely see the kind of bloke they aspire to be in advertising, to why Angry Ginge streaming FIFA might be more relatable than Johnny Depp flogging aftershave, this episode is getting intoit. Expect some eyebrow-raising stats and plenty of insights as we tackle everything from the rise of Twitch streamers as role models to the curious concept of “masculinity vertigo.”
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Make Love Not Porn: a guide for men, boys and the real world with Cindy Gallop
Joeli and Elliott are joined by the inimitable Cindy Gallop to discuss her ground breaking work with Make Love Not Porn, addressing the impact of pornography on societal expectations and relationships. She describes the importance of open conversations about sex and love, particularly in educating children and young adults and the amazing results she’s seen as a direct result of her work. They also touch on the challenges of funding and support for sex education initiatives, the decline of intimacy among young people, and the need for a cultural shift in how we talk about sex and relationships. Be warned – this is a no holds barred conversation with swearing et al. Please do check out the BRILLIANT Make Love Not Porn Academy here: https://www.makelovenotporn.academy/and the change.org campaign here: https://www.change.org/p/calling-for-fair-visibility-for-all-on-linkedin\Let’s spread the word about this amazing and vital work for men, boys, women and girls.
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Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?
Joeli and Elliott are taking us through THAT Chanté Joseph Vogue article and asking if and why it’s uncool to have a boyfriend… This episode explores the complexities of modern relationships, the impact of social media, and the evolving roles of men and women. We’re also tackling topics like heterofatalism, the trad wife movement, and the balance of unpaid labour: all in a day’s work.
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Child Swap & the emotional fallout of the John Lewis Christmas ad
In this episode, Elliott Rae and Joeli Brearley are joinedby their favourite guest-slash-interrogator, producer Kaley Botting, for a freewheeling chat spanning everything from International Men’s Day to the emotional fallout of the John Lewis Christmas ad. Expect reflections on parenting, gender disappointment, and why brunch raves might just be the salvation of middle-aged joy-seekers. Also: Elliott tries to swap children,Joeli cries over retail marketing, and Kaley’s mum’s WhatsApp group makes a surprise cameo. And just when you think it couldn’t get more profound, they end with a dad joke showdown that may or may not involve ChatGPT. (Spoiler: it does.)
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THE John Amaechi on men, masculinity and monsters.
Joeli and Elliott sit down with, yes you heard us right, John Amaechi to talk all things sports, identity and masculinity, emphasizing the importance of emotional intelligence and intimacy among men. John reflects on his experiences as a latecomer to basketball and how it shaped his understanding of masculinity. They also roll up their sleeves and delve into the societal pressures surrounding masculinity, the need for empathy, and the responsibility of parents and coaches in nurturing healthy relationships. John advocates for a redefinition of masculinity that embraces vulnerability and connection, urging listeners to foster environments where boys can express their emotions freely and develop meaningful relationships: it's right up our street.
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The Don of Boys and Men: Richard Reeves
In this episode of To Be A Boy, Elliott Rae and Joeli Brearley sit down with Richard Reeves—author of Of Boys and Men and chair of the UK’s Centre for Policy Research on Boys and Men—for a candid, compassionate conversation about the challenges facing boys and young men today. Together, they explore how schools can better support boys, why male role models matter, and how masculinity can be reimagined without shame or stereotype. Whether you're a parent, educator, policymaker, or simply curious about gender equality, this episode offers a refreshing and nuanced take on what it means to grow up male in today’s world. If he's good enough for Obama, he's good enough for TBAB!
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Questions with... our Kaley
In this episode, Joeli, Elliott, and Producer Kaley havetheir first ‘Questions with Kaley’ session.The TBAB team explore the concept of 'the ick' in dating, the importance of emotional support in relationships, and the impact of paternity leave on family dynamics. Joeli passes on some cracking advice about future proofing the dynamic with a Dad and Elliott reveals his Good Man ofmusic, and MORE people!
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(Gentle) Parenting with Sarah Ockwell-Smith
In this heartfelt and thought-provoking episode of To BeA Boy, Joeli and Elliott are joined by the brilliant SarahOckwell-Smith, one of the UK’s leading parenting experts and bestselling author of The Gentle Parenting Book and How to Raise a Teen.Together, they dive deep into the challenges and misconceptions surrounding modern boyhood, masculinity, and parenting, with Sarah offering rich insights from her decades of experience and her upcoming book How to Raise a Gentle Man. The trio explore how we can better support boys with an emphasis on birth through adolescence, challenging stereotypes and championing emotional intelligence, empathy, and authentic self-expression. You.will.learn.a.lot!
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Class, Culture, and the Classroom: A New Vision for Boys’ Education
In this episode Joeli and Elliott speak with Dr. Alex Blowerto dive into the uphill battle faced by working-class boys in education—think less Hogwarts, more hurdles. From aspiration gaps to the masculinity myths messing with motivation, he shares insights, stories, and a few reality checks. It’s time to rethink how we support boys in the classroom.
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LIVE! from The Working Dads’ Summit
Join us live from the phenomenal Working Dads’ Summit! In To Be A Boy’s first live recording, Joeli faces a grilling from Elliott. They explore the impact of the motherhood penalty, the importance of parental leave, co-parenting, and the role of support networks for working parents. As per usual, get in touch with your thoughts and questionsat [email protected]
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Redefining Roles and Relationships with Beyond Equality
From body image and the pressure to provide, to violence, vulnerability and viral masculinity myths—this episode dives deep into the challenges boys face and how we can support them. Elliott and Joeli chat with Dan Guinness and Ben Hurst from Beyond Equality about what it means to be a boy today. Expect wisdom, warmth, and a few laughs along the way.
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Out with Aggression: Raising Sweet Boys with Tosha Schore
In this powerful and practical episode, Joeli and Elliott sit down with parenting coach and founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, Tosha Schore, to tackle one of the toughest topics: aggression in boys. From meltdowns and morning chaos to verbal outbursts and sibling clashes, Tosha shares compassionate, connection-based strategies for helping boys manage big feelings—without shame, blame or punishment. Expect real talk, relatable stories, and tips you can use today (including the surprisingly effective “drop to the floor” method).---------------https://www.toshaschore.com/owa
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Series 3 BABY! Back to School, Back to Boyhood
We’re back! Joeli and Elliott catch up after summer, swap stories about Welsh golf buggies and nudist beaches, and reflect on the emotional rollercoaster of raising boys and returning to school, expect a few tears. Joeli shares her new venture, GrowthSpurt, and Elliott previews the world’s first Working Dads Summit. Plus, a sneak peek at the incredible guests lined up for Series 3, including Richard Reeves, John Amaechi, and Beyond Equality.—----------------------------GrowthSpurt www.growth-spurt.ukWorking Dads Summit www.workingdadssummit.comParenting Out Loud on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/company/parenting-out-loud
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From Grunts to Growth: Talking Boys with Christopher Pepper
Health educator and author Christopher Pepper joins Joeli and Elliott to talk puberty, masculinity, gaming, anger, love, and what to do when your son might be Googling “how to get bigger muscles.” From emotional literacy to ethical decision-making, this episode is packed with practical advice, heartfelt stories, and laughs for anyone raising boys in today’s world.-----------------www.talktoyourboys.comworkingdadssummit.comwww.laurahenryallain.com/news/my-skin-your-skin/
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Raising Better Boys with Uju Asika
In this warm, funny, and deeply insightful episode, Joeli and Elliott are joined by author and boy-mum extraordinaire Uju Asika, whose latest book Raising Boys Who Do Better is a hopeful guide for parenting boys in today’s complex world. From cuddles and culture clashes to clitoris conversations and pickled onion Monster Munch, this episode dives into the joys and challenges of raising boys with kindness, clarity, and a whole lot of humour.------------------------Raising Boys Wo do Betterworkingdadssummit.com
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Breaking the Mold: Masculinity, Mentorship & Future Men
Joeli and Elliott are joined by Owen Thomas and Chris Stein from Future Men to explore how we can better support boys in today’s world. From redefining masculinity and tackling stereotypes to practical tools for parents and educators, this episode is packed with insight, humour, and hope.----------------------------futuremen.orgworkingdadssummit.com
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Raising Boys in a Digital World with Michele Borba
Dr. Michele Borba joins Elliott and Joeli to explore why boys today are more anxious, lonely, and stressed—and what parents can do to help. From bedtime chats to ukulele therapy, this episode is packed with practical tips, heartfelt stories, and a few laughs. Discover how small acts (like a Post-it note) can make a big impact.https://micheleborba.com
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Holding the Rope and Showing Up
Joeli and Elliott reflect on the emotional leap from primary to secondary school — for kids and parents alike. From leavers’ assemblies and letting go to puberty, peer pressure and parenting panic. They share personal stories, expert advice from Caroline Jacobs, and advice on surviving the summer holiday chaos — with your sanity (mostly) intact.
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Steve Biddulph: Raising Boys with Heart
We’re joined by the legendary Steve Biddulph—psychologist, global parenting guru, and the reason many of us still believe we can survive the teen years—we dive headfirst into the wild, wonderful, and sometimes worrisome world of raising boys. Expect laughter, maybe a tear or two, and plenty of “aha!” moments as we explore modern boyhood with someone who’s seen it all.Steve brings compassion and clarity to the chaos, tackling tough topics like toxic online cultures and those mysterious moods that arrive just after bedtime. For every parent who’s ever stayed up worrying (or Googling “How to talk to my son without being embarrassing”), this episode offers practical wisdom and a reminder: you’re not alone in wanting your boy to grow up kind, confident, and happy.
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Cracking the Code on Online Safety with the Rt Hon Peter Kyle
Elliott and Joeli tackle the urgent topic of online safety, sharing scary stats like children in the UK spending an average of 134 minutes a day on TikTok and 49 minutes on Instagram in 2024, with 36% of kids aged eight to 17 having seen something worrying or nasty online in the past year. Joined by Peter Kyle, Secretary of State for Science, Innovation and Technology, they explore the government’s new Online Safety Act— which the government claims has some of the world’s most sweeping protections—which now require social media platforms to safeguard young users from everything from cyberbullying to violent and harmful content. Tune in for a fun, insightful conversation full of practical tips and the latest on how digital life for young people in the UK is set to change for the better.
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Sex Ed & Embracing Awkwardness
We’re diving into the wonderfully awkward world of sex ed for kids—covering everything from “where do babies come from?” to the importance of pleasure. Joeli and Elliott share honest tips, relatable stories, and answer your questions on how to talk to kids about sex, consent, and relationships—without losing your cool.
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17
Addiction, Parenting, and Jessica Lahey
Did you know that in the UK, men are nearly three times more likely than women to become dependent on alcohol? Or that men account for 74% of hospital admissions for drug-related mental health issues? Joining us is the brilliant Jessica Lahey, best selling author of *The Gift Of Failure* and *The Addiction Inoculation*. She joins Joeli and Elliott to tackle one of the toughest yet most vital topics for parents today: addiction.
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16
Socks, Strikes and Social Change
This week, Joeli and Elliott are still reeling from their chat with 15-year-old Josh Sargent, who somehow knows more about inflation, misogyny, and the internet than most adults do (and can spell “misogyny” without spellcheck). They unpack the impact of the online world on boys, the impossible balance of protecting kids while keeping them connected, and why critical thinking might just be the new superpower.
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15
Teenage Wisdom: Josh Sargent vs. The Manosphere
Ever wondered what teenage boys really think about the Manosphere? In this week’s enlightening episode we break new ground by speaking directly to someone who’s living it—15-year-old Josh Sargent. Josh isn’t just navigating GCSEs; he’s writing a book about the Manosphere, all while grappling with the dual life of consuming content privately at home and existing in a world where these topics are rarely discussed openly among peers.As ever – we’re reading through your amazing emails for ideas and insights – YOUR TEAM NEEDS YOU! Stay in touch at [email protected]
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14
Hot Takes and Laugh Aches: Reflecting on Caitlin Moran
Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae dive into the best bits (and the missing bits) of last week’s laugh-out-loud episode with Caitlin Moran – join them as they unpack the the wisdom and reflect on the power of humour. Beyond that, Joeli and Elliott explore the crucial need for a men’s movement and where the backlash to diversity and inclusion work might be coming from. As always – we LOVE to hear your thoughts, so keep those messages coming!
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13
Caitlin Moran, Boys, Body Image and Rebellion
Joeli, Elliott and Caitlin dive headfirst into the world of modern masculinity. It won’t surprise any Caitlin fans that this episode is not short of witty insights from her latest work and the group tackles the big themes: parenthood, mental health, body image, and the evolution of masculinity. From the loneliness of man caves to the societal pressures of being a 'tough guy,' no topic is off-limits. This episode promises a fresh look at how men can redefine love and vulnerability in today's world.
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12
Series 2 BABY!
Welcome back to the wild world of parenting boys! We’rekicking off Series 2, with Joeli and Elliott taking a trip down memory lane, revisiting the highs, the lows, and the lovely voices from Season One. They dive headfirst into the digital jungle of children's online lives, tackle the parenting boys' obstacle course, and highlight the quest for positive male role models.
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11
Gen Z & Gender roles with Konrad Collao and James Hamilton
Did you know 44% of Gen Z men think we've done enough for women's rights? Or that 45% believe we're now discriminating against men? And brace yourself – 47% feel masculinity is under attack.Join us as we welcome James, the audience planner extraordinaire with 12 years at Channel 4, and Konrad, the co-founder of Craft, the award-winning strategic insight agency. Together, we'll tackle the economic instability haunting this generation, their delayed milestones, and the strange blend of their digital and real lives. Spoiler alert: it's a bit of a mess.This series is proudly supported by Bubble, the app to find a vetted sitter or nanny that’s trusted by 250k parents, including us! Whether it’s an urgent work deadline or a chance to unwind, Bubble connects you with vetted, trusted sitters who can be with you in as little as an hour: https://bubble.onelink.me/nnib/0d8hretm
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
To Be A Boy dives into the chaos of raising boys today — from dodgy masculinity myths to the wild world of online culture. Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae mix humour with sharp takes on the policies, systems and social norms shaping boys’ lives. It’s real talk, big laughs, and a nudge toward a fairer future.
HOSTED BY
Joeli Brearley and Elliott Rae
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