What that drink cost me

Feeling stuck in your life but afraid to make a change? In this episode, we’re talking about the hidden cost of staying the same - and why avoiding change might be costing you more than you realize. You’ll learn:​why staying in the same job, relationship, or environment isn’t as “safe” as it feels​The emotional and long term cost of avoiding change​How to start thinking differently about risk and decision-making If you’ve been putting off a big life decision, this episode will help you see things from a new perspective. I’m Tad Hopp of A Tad Better Coaching. I’m a life coach who helps queer people navigate major life transitions and get unstuck. To book a call with me, click here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minFollow me on Instagram and TikTok @magicaltadrigal

We’ve all had this thought: if I just change this one thing, everything in my life will finally fall into place.A new job. A new city. Getting sober. Starting over.And while those changes can improve parts of your life, they don’t fix everything—and they’re not supposed to.In this episode, I’m breaking down why big life changes often expose deeper issues instead of solving them, and why that’s actually a good thing.I also share my own experiences with sobriety and moving abroad, and what those changes really taught me about growth, identity, and starting over.If you’ve ever made a big change and still felt stuck, this episode is for you.—I’m Tad Hopp, a life coach who helps queer people navigate life transitions without spiraling, stalling, or self-sabotaging.If you’re in the middle of a major life change and don’t know what to do next, you can book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Feeling stuck in your life? Whether it’s your job, a relationship, where you live, or even your drinking habits—what if you’re not actually stuck at all?In this episode, I’m breaking down the real reason so many of us feel stuck: we’re avoiding making a decision. I talk about why decision-making feels so hard, how overthinking keeps us in place, and the hidden cost of staying exactly where we are.I also share my personal story of coming out and how finally making one decision changed everything in my life.If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure what to do next, this episode will help you start moving forward.—I’m Tad Hopp, a life coach who helps queer people navigate life transitions without spiraling, stalling, or self-sabotaging.If this episode resonates, you can learn more about working with me at the link in the show notes.Book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minFollow me on Instagram and TikTok: @magicaltadrigal

If you’re a sober gay man and dating feels harder than it used to, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong.In this episode of What That Drink Cost Me, I break down the 3 biggest dating mistakes sober gay men make—and why these patterns can leave you feeling stuck, disconnected, or ready to give up on dating altogether.We’ll talk about:​ Why avoiding dating after getting sober keeps you stuck in loneliness​ How trying to recreate “drunk intimacy” actually blocks real connection​ The hidden ways dating apps can limit your chances at meaningful relationshipsThe truth is, you’re not bad at dating—you’re just learning how to do it without alcohol.This episode will help you shift your mindset, understand what’s really going on beneath the surface, and start approaching dating in a healthier, more intentional way.If you’re ready to build real connection, confidence, and intimacy in sobriety, this episode is for you.👉 I’m also hosting a Dating in Sobriety workshop where I’ll go deeper into how to navigate first dates, build confidence, and create real connection without alcohol. You’ll find the signup link here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dating-after-sobriety-tickets-1985274619830Want to book a call with me to discuss working together? Do that here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Dating is supposed to get easier when you get sober… right?So why does it suddenly feel more awkward, more uncomfortable—and honestly, harder than ever?In this episode, I’m breaking down why dating in sobriety can feel so challenging at first—and why that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.Because the truth is, alcohol was doing more for your dating life than you probably realized.When you remove it, you don’t lose your ability to date—you lose the shortcut.We’ll cover: • Why confidence feels lower without alcohol • How social anxiety shows up differently in sobriety • Why connection feels slower (and why that’s actually a good thing) • The real reason vulnerability feels so much harderI also share a personal story from early sobriety that perfectly captures just how awkward sober dating can feel—and why that’s part of the process.If you’ve ever felt like you forgot how to date after getting sober, this episode will help you understand what’s really going on—and how to start building real confidence and connection without relying on alcohol.If this is something you’re currently struggling with, I’m hosting a live workshop on dating and building connection in sobriety where we’ll go deeper into all of this.You can find the link to sign up here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dating-after-sobriety-tickets-1985274619830Listen to my interview on the move abroad coach podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4O8Xm5FQ5ZB65Xxm6UTPiO?si=76HwTOfkTtaG3P7dfzFbFg&t=4465Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

You probably thought you were good at dating. So when you get sober, you think you have to figure it all out. But in this episode, I push back on that idea that you were good at dating. Instead, I suggest that perhaps you were just letting the alcohol mask your abilities. I unpack the ways in which alcohol makes us think we are good at dating and what happens when we can no longer rely on it. Want to join my dating after sobriety workshop? Sign up here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dating-after-sobriety-tickets-1985274619830Book a discovery call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minFollow me on Instagram and TikTok @magicaltadrigal

In this episode, I unpack the biggest fears that I hear from my clients about dating in sobriety. I talk through each one and offer suggestions and alternate ways of looking at them. If you’ve been having some of these same fears, this episode is for you. Sign up for my workshop on dating after sobriety: Dating after Sobriety https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dating-after-sobriety-tickets-1985274619830?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=wsa&aff=ebdsshwebmobileFollow me on Instagram and TikTok: @magicaltadrigal

There’s a loneliness in sobriety that often doesn’t get talked about or is overlooked. In this episode. I’m unpacking what that loneliness is, how to combat it and share my own story of how I dealt with it. This episode is for you if you ever thought sobriety would magically make your social life easier or better. If this episode resonated with you and you’d like to speak with someone to help you navigate loneliness in sobriety, book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minFollow me on Instagram and TikTok @magicaltadrigal

Getting sober is supposed to fix everything… right?A lot of people believe that once they quit drinking, their confidence improves, dating gets easier, and relationships magically fall into place. But for many people - especially gay men - sobriety can actually expose deeper struggles around intimacy, vulnerability, and connection. In this episode, I talk about why sobriety doesn’t automatically fix your dating life and why intimacy can actually feel harder at first. Without alcohol to numb anxiety or act as a social lubricant, many of us suddenly have to face things we’ve been avoiding for years: fear of rejection, body insecurity, loneliness, and vulnerability. I also break down the three shifts that actually help intimacy improve in sobriety, including learning to tolerate vulnerability, redefining connection, and building real confidence without alcohol. If you’ve ever worried that sobriety might make dating or relationships harder, this episode is for you.Sobriety doesn’t ruin intimacy - but it does ask you to build differently.If you’re struggling with connection, dating, or loneliness in sobriety, you can book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minIf this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review - it helps more people discover the show.

In this episode, I unpack what sex in sobriety can look like along with talking about many of the fears we have about sex and intimacy in sobriety. I talk about my own journey with sex in sobriety and talk about the ways in which getting sober actually made my sex life better. Topics covered include setting better boundaries, having self confidence and what intimacy in sobriety actually looks like. If you’ve been worried about giving up drinking because you don’t know how you’ll have sex without “liquid courage”, this episode is for you. Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minFollow me on Instagram and TikTok: magicaltadrigal

Are you wondering how to reconnect with your body after getting sober? In this episode, I share my own experience of getting fit in sobriety. I talk about how alcohol prevented me from creating a consistent work out routine, how getting sober taught me to trust my body and how too often we substitute an addiction to fitness for alcohol. This episode won’t help you develop a workout routine but it will motivate you to consider how you can take care of your physical health in sobriety. Book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minFollow me on Instagram and TikTok: magicaltadrigal

What happens when recovery spaces weren’t built with your brain or body in mind? In this episode, I explore sobriety through the lens of disability — sharing my lived experience with cerebral palsy and autism, and why building a recovery model that fits you is essential for long-term success.Listen to me on the way out podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/32FjWoUAchYbFPEUOQ5gU6?si=z5vI4QN0QjGL-0as6HhPeABook a discovery call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

If getting sober were just about willpower, most of us would already be there. In this episode, I talk about shame — the invisible weight that keeps so many people stuck in addiction. We unpack how shame differs from guilt, why it fuels secrecy and self-sabotage, and how it can turn sobriety into something to endure instead of something that brings relief. This episode is for anyone who feels stuck, discouraged, or exhausted by trying to get sober “the right way.”Book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minFollow me on Instagram and TikTok: @magicaltadrigal

What does a sober coach actually do?In this episode, I break down what sober coaching (and what it isn’t), who I work with, and how I help clients navigate sobriety in a way that prioritizes autonomy, confidence, and real life - not rigid rules.We talk about identity loss after quitting drinking, redefining sobriety on your own terms , navigating social situations without alcohol, and why willpower is rarely the real issue. I also share who this work is not for, and why that distinction matters. If you’ve ever felt stuck between “I don’t want to drink like this anymore” and “I don’t fit into traditional recovery spaces,” this episode is for you.Book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minFollow me on TikTok and instagram (@magicaltadrigal) and on YouTube at arthurinamsterdam.

Many people avoid recovery—or leave it entirely—because they’re terrified of messing up. In this episode, I unpack the idea that relapse automatically means failure and why recovery doesn’t look the same for everyone.We talk about rigid sobriety rules, day counts, shame, and how to build a recovery plan that actually works for you. If you’ve ever felt discouraged after slipping up or wondered whether traditional recovery spaces are the right fit, this episode offers a different perspective.Follow me on instagram and TikTok @magicaltadrigal Book a discovery call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

One of the biggest fears people have about getting sober is the belief that fun disappears with alcohol. In this episode, I unpack that fear head-on. I talk about what life actually looks like after getting sober, especially in queer spaces where drinking and nightlife are deeply ingrained. From parties and clubs to Pride and social events, I share how sobriety didn’t end my fun—it changed it for the better. If you’re newly sober, sober curious, or wondering whether life without alcohol can still be joyful, this episode is for you. Book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minFollow me on TikTok and instagram @magicaltadrigal

In this episode of What That Drink Cost Me, I explore why making sobriety your number one priority is essential for long-term recovery. From work and family obligations to busyness and burnout, many people in early sobriety struggle to keep recovery at the center of their lives. I break down what happens when sobriety slips down the priority list, how relapse often begins, and practical ways to protect your recovery even when life feels overwhelming. If you’re newly sober, sober curious, or struggling to stay consistent, this episode offers clarity, perspective, and actionable guidance.Follow me on instagram and TikTok @magicaltadrigal Want to work with me? Book a call at this link: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Dry January can be a powerful reset—but what happens when January ends? In this episode of What That Drink Cost Me, I explore why taking a month off from drinking isn’t enough if you suspect alcohol is a problem. I share my own experience with Dry January, why I went back to drinking on February 1, and what actually helps people stay sober long-term. If you’re sober curious, doing Dry January, or wondering what comes next after the month is over, this episode will help you think honestly about your relationship with alcohol and how to create a plan that lasts.Follow me on TikTok and Instagram @magicaltadrigal Follow me on YouTube @arthurinamsterdam Want to chat with me about options to stay sober after January ends? Book a discovery call here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

How much does drinking really cost? In this episode of What That Drink Cost Me, I talk openly about the financial consequences of alcohol—both direct and indirect. From bar tabs, late-night food, and transportation costs to lost ambition, career stagnation, and delayed retirement savings, I unpack how drinking impacted my finances in ways I didn’t fully understand at the time. I also share how sobriety has helped me regain control, clarity, and a sense of financial peace—and ask you to reflect on what alcohol may be costing you.Join my TikTok live event on Christmas Day from 4-6 PM EST at magicaltadrigal Follow me on YouTube at ArthurinAmsterdam.Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Have you ever thought, “if I get sober, maybe they’ll come back”? You’re not alone. In this episode, I unpack why getting sober for someone else - an ex, a spouse, a family member - puts your recovery on shaky ground. I share my own story of getting sober after a breakup, what I learned the hard way, and how choosing sobriety for myself changed everything. This episode is for anyone struggling to find their why in recovery. Follow me on Instagram and TikTok: @magicaltadrigal And you can now find me on YouTube @arthurinamsterdam. I’ll be posting about my life and adventures there and talk about being sober in a city that is known for excess and debauchery.

What happens when you’re a full-time caregiver, navigating Filipino family expectations, queer identity, and the decision to get sober without a program?This week, I sit down with my friend Sam Hosea, a queer Filipino American caregiver who got sober without AA, rehab, or a 12-step program.We talk about: • The emotional and physical toll of caring for an aging parent • Drinking culture in Filipino families and queer communities • How Sam found sobriety without traditional recovery spaces • The loneliness and liberation of “doing it your own way” • What it means to hold boundaries while caregivingIf you’ve ever struggled with cultural expectations, burnout, caregiving, or getting sober without a program, this episode will speak directly to you.Samuel Raphael Hosea (he/him) lives in Maryland in the home where he grew up. He is a full-time caregiver for his dad, who suffered a stroke in 2023. Prior to caregiving, Sam was a grad student researching the intersection of theology and capitalism. He lived in the San Francisco Bay Area for over 20 years, obtaining his Bachelor’s from Golden Gate University and then working primarily with the unhoused population in San Francisco’s Tenderloin neighborhood. His writing has appeared in multiple scholarly and literary journals. You can find him on instagram @ samuelraphaelhosea where he documents his caregiving journey. To book a call with me to discuss your own path forward without drinking or using, click here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Holiday triggers are real — family stress, loneliness, expectations, parties, social pressure, memories, and drinking everywhere you look. In this episode, I break down why the holidays are especially tough for people in recovery and how to stay sober without feeling deprived.You’ll hear my personal story of surviving my first sober Thanksgiving and learn practical strategies for getting through this season with confidence, peace, and support.Perfect for anyone wanting a sober holiday guide, emotional grounding, or accountability.To sign up for my group intensive about starting off 2026 on the right foot, click here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1976163698820?aff=oddtdtcreatorIf you’d like to book a discovery call to talk about how we can work together to get you through the holidays, click here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Sobriety can feel isolating — especially during the holidays and the start of a new year. In this episode, I break down the motivation and purpose behind my new 6-week sober coaching intensive. We’ll talk about why community matters in recovery, why resolutions often fail, and what kind of support people actually need to stay sober long-term. If you’re looking for sober community, accountability, or guidance as you enter a new year, this episode explains exactly how this program was designed to help.Sign up for the program here: https://tr.ee/eXxiEtQiLG. Book this week and pay the early bird rate of $300!Have questions about the program or wondering if it is the right fit for you? Book a discovery call here to discuss it: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

I just moved to Amsterdam—and the first week was an absolute disaster. No phone. No WiFi. No hot water. No furniture. Just me, a new city, and a whole lot of uncertainty. In this episode, I talk about what it’s like to stay sober during major life upheaval, why transitions can trigger old habits, and how sobriety becomes a life raft when everything else goes wrong.If you’ve ever felt lost, overwhelmed, or unsure if you can stay sober through big change… this one’s for you.Book a discovery call here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minFollow me on instagram: @magicaltadrigal TikTok: @magicaltadrigal I’ll be making a huge announcement about a new coaching program on those platforms this week!

If you’ve ever felt guilty for taking a nap, this episode is for you. I dive into how hustle culture keeps us trapped in burnout — and how sobriety teaches a different way of living. Discover why slowing down isn’t weakness, how overworking mirrors addiction, and why real recovery starts with rest.Book your discovery call here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Eight years sober — and every day still teaches me something new. In this special anniversary episode, I share the eight biggest lessons I’ve learned in my eight years of sobriety — from learning to set boundaries and face loneliness, to finding freedom and joy in everyday moments. Whether you’re newly sober, sober curious, or years into recovery, this one’s a heartfelt reminder of why staying sober is always worth it.Book your discovery call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

What happens when we bring therapy and sobriety into the same conversation? Myself and my guest, therapist Blair Buckley, dive into the emotional and psychological side of recovery — especially for queer folks navigating identity, shame, and healing. Together, we explore how therapy supports lasting sobriety, why queer people often face different recovery challenges, and what true emotional wellness can look like after addiction.To find out more about Blair and book a session with her: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/blair-buckley-aurora-co/1145786Book a discovery call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minSign up for my free webinar on navigating the holidays sober: https://subscribepage.io/imOkDW

Wars. Climate change. Politics. Chaos. It’s a lot. But drinking won’t fix any of it — and your sobriety might just be the thing that helps you face it all with courage and clarity. I share practical ways to protect your peace and keep showing up, one sober day at a time.Book your free discovery call here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minSign up for my free webinar here: https://subscribepage.io/imOkDW

In a world that celebrates big achievements, it’s easy to overlook the power of the little things. I share how the quiet, consistent wins in sobriety — the ones that no one claps for — are actually the foundation of lasting peace, gratitude, and joy.Book a discovery call here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Religion and spirituality often get lumped together — but they’re not the same thing. In this week’s episode, I share my own journey from growing up in the church to redefining what spirituality means in sobriety. Whether you’re religious, spiritual, or neither, we’ll talk about how connection, meaning, and a “higher power of your own understanding” can help you stay grounded in recovery.Book your discovery call here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minFollow me on instagram @magicaltadrigal

Suicidal thoughts are more common in recovery than most people realize — but they don’t have to define you. In this episode, I share my personal journey with suicidal ideation, how addiction made the darkness louder, and how sobriety offered new tools, clarity, and community. This is an honest, compassionate conversation about loss, stigma, and the power of reaching out for help.If you’re considering suicide, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 in the United States. Sign up for my free webinar: How to navigate the holidays sober: https://subscribepage.io/imOkDWSign up for my free monthly newsletter here: https://subscribepage.io/0w8SNrBook your free discovery call here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

When you first get sober, you might worry that life without alcohol will be dull. But what if “boring” actually means safe, stable, and full of freedom? In this week’s episode, I break down the myth of the boring sober life and show how recovery opens the door to deeper fun, lasting joy, and the peace that chaos never gave us.Sign up for my free webinar here: https://subscribepage.io/imOkDWSign up to book your free 30 minute discovery call here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Coming back from a dream vacation only to land right back in a toxic work environment reminded me just how draining these spaces can be — and how they once would’ve sent me straight to the bar. In this episode, I talk about why I don’t give my power away anymore, and the coping strategies that keep me grounded and sober no matter how chaotic things get.Book a free call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minGet my “5 days to clearer mornings guide” here: https://subscribepage.io/0w8SNr

Dating sober can feel terrifying, and rebuilding friendships or family relationships can be just as tricky. In this episode of What That Drink Cost Me, I share how sobriety reshaped my relationships—from losing drinking buddies to finding lasting love. Tune in for practical tips on navigating boundaries, first dates without “liquid courage,” and showing up as your authentic self in every kind of relationship.Book a free 30 minute call: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Grief is one of the hardest parts of life—and for many of us, drinking was our only coping tool. But what happens when we lose someone after we get sober? In this episode of What That Drink Cost Me, I share my own story of navigating the loss of my mom while in recovery, the tools I leaned on to cope, and how grief looks different (and healthier) without alcohol. If you’re walking through loss sober, this one’s for you.Book a free 30 minute discovery call here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minGet my “5 days to clearer mornings” guide here: https://subscribepage.io/0w8SNr

Early sobriety can feel incredibly lonely — even when you’re surrounded by people. In this episode of What That Drink Cost Me, I open up about the isolation I faced after getting sober, and how I eventually built a supportive community. If you’re feeling alone on your journey, this episode is here to remind you: you don’t have to do it by yourself.Book a free discovery call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minGet your free copy of “5 Days to Clearer Morning” guide here: https://subscribepage.io/0w8SNrFollow me on Instagram @magicaltadrigal

Sobriety is simple - don’t pick up a drink. But living a full, joyful life in recovery? That’s the hard part. In this episode, I share why sober coaching can be a game changer, especially in the early days of recovery. From accountability and structure to finding your identity outside of alcohol, discover how a sober coach can help you thrive in sobriety. Book a free discovery call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minGet my new “5 days to Clearer Mornings” guide: https://subscribepage.io/0w8SNrFollow me on instagram @magicaltadrigal

Finding recovery tricky to navigate because you find the “rules” of sobriety to be too rigid or controlling? This episode is for you. Here, I talk about four rules of sobriety that you don’t have to follow and how you can build your own path to recovery. One that works for you. Listen, subscribe and share.Want to work with me to figure out your own recovery path? Shoot me a DM on instagram @magicaltadrigal. Or you can book a free call at this link: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30minSign up for my newsletter here: https://subscribepage.io/0w8SNr

You’ve gotten sober but now you face an identity crisis. Who are you now that you’re not drinking? And how do you interact and engage with others without drinking? In this episode, I’ll tell you about the mindset shift I had to make when I got sober and how that changed how I interact with others and share space with them.Want to work with me? I’m currently accepting new clients for my recovery coaching program. And your first two sessions are free! Shoot me a DM on instagram @magicaltadrigal. Or you can sign up for my emails to get weekly support, tips and behind the scenes from the show! Sign up here: https://subscribepage.io/0w8SNr

The story of how I got sober and the benefits it has brought to my life Follow and subscribe. Want to work with me? Shoot me a DM on instagram @magicaltadrigal to discuss my sober coaching services and how they can help you. Want a little sober magic in your inbox? Join my email list - https://subscribepage.io/0w8SNr