What You Don’t Know About Christmas

Magic: The Management Would Like To See You Magic is everywhere in fiction. But it's never free, never equal, and never as simple as waving a wand. In this episode, Neil breaks down the unspoken rules that govern every magical world you've ever visited. From Hogwarts to the crossroads at midnight to a coven in a California shopping mall. Because the magic system isn't a fantasy. It's just the class system in a cloak.   REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING   Harry Potter series - J.K. Rowling. Referenced throughout. Referencing is not endorsement. Bewitched (1964-1972) - ABC. Samantha Stephens, the most powerful witch in the room, hiding it to keep the peace. Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1996-2003) - ABC/WB. The Craft - dir. Andrew Fleming (1996) The VVitch - dir. Robert Eggers (2015) Wicked - book by Gregory Maguire (1995) / musical (2003) / film dir. Jon M. Chu (2024) Agatha All Along - Marvel/Disney+ (2024) Buffy the Vampire Slayer - created by Joss Whedon (1997-2003) The Wizard of Oz - dir. Victor Fleming (1939) Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood - anime series (2009-2010) What We Do In The Shadows - FX series (2019-) Wyrd Sisters / Granny Weatherwax - Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters (1988) Dennis Wheatley - The Devil Rides Out (1934) and the Duke de Richleau novels Faust - Christopher Marlowe (1592) / Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1808) Robert Johnson - blues musician (1911-1938). The crossroads legend. The Monkey's Paw - W.W. Jacobs (1902) The Sorcerer's Apprentice - orig. Goethe, Der Zauberlehrling (1797) / Fantasia, dir. James Algar (1940) Jack Parsons (1914-1952) - rocket scientist, occultist, co-founder of JPL. Full article on the Substack.   THE COMPANION PIECES   Essay: The Rules - Episode 2 - Magic - The Management Would Like to See You Now  - the full non-fiction essay - Click here Fiction: A More Comfortable Cage - the companion short story - Click here (after 30th May 2026)  *fair warning this link is cursed if you click early  Further reading: Jack Parsons: The Man Who Launched America Into Space With Magic - Click here   The Rules is an independent podcast from Pegasus Podcasts. New episodes drop weekly. If you liked this one, the best thing you can do is tell someone.

 Ghosts: Home Is Where the Horror Is Ghost stories are everywhere. But why do they all look the same? In this episode, Neil breaks down the unspoken rules that govern every haunted house story you've ever encountered — from Shirley Jackson to Poltergeist to your mate's cousin's thing that happened that one time.   Because the ghost is rarely the most frightening thing in the building.   REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING   Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House (1959) Henry James, The Turn of the Screw (1898) The Amityville Horror — Jay Anson (1977) / film dir. Stuart Rosenberg (1979) Poltergeist — dir. Tobe Hooper (1982) The Haunting — dir. Robert Wise (1963) The Conjuring 2 — dir. James Wan (2016) Sinister — dir. Scott Derrickson (2012) The Haunting of Hill House series — Mike Flanagan, Netflix (2018) Night Swim — dir. Bryce McGuire (2024) Host — dir. Rob Savage (2020) Unfriended — dir. Levan Gabriadze (2014) The Enfield Poltergeist (1977) — Guy Lyon Playfair, This House Is Haunted (1980) Cock Lane and Common-Sense — Andrew Lang (1894) Derek Acorah / Kreed Kafer incident — Most Haunted, Living TV   THE COMPANION PIECES   Essay: Scratching Fanny — the first haunting to go viral - therulespodcast.substack.com/ Fiction: How to Gay — the companion short story - therulespodcast.substack.com/   The Rules is an independent podcast from Pegasus Podcasts. New episodes drop weekly. If you liked this one, the best thing you can do is tell someone.

The genre that made every outsider feel seen, and left the system completely intact. High school movies are a pressure valve. They make you feel understood just enough that nobody asks why the hierarchy is still standing. In this episode we look at the unwritten rules of the genre the cliques that never go away, the parties where the hunting ground has a John Hughes soundtrack, the adults who fail you, the one who doesn't, the lesson that costs nothing, and the rule underneath all the others: you just have to get through it. Featuring The Breakfast Club, Heathers, Pretty in Pink, Clueless, Booksmart, Mean Girls, Easy A, and Carrie. Substack Pegasus Podcasts Youtube Version Bluesky Instagram TikTok Email:  [email protected] ​   Written and produced by Neil Music by Oliver Chapman Recorded and mixed by Oliver Chapman at Sirkus   Sources: The Breakfast Club (1985), dir. John Hughes Pretty in Pink (1986), dir. Howard Deutch Weird Science (1985), dir. John Hughes Heathers (1988), dir. Michael Lehmann Clueless (1995), dir. Amy Heckerling Carrie (1976), dir. Brian De Palma Mean Girls (2004), dir. Mark Waters Easy A (2010), dir. Will Gluck Booksmart (2019), dir. Olivia Wilde Pump Up the Volume (1990), dir. Allan Moyle American Pie (1999), dir. Paul Weitz Porky's (1981), dir. Bob Clark    *Any resemblance to a real podcast is purely coincidental. No animals were harmed. May contain nuts. People who read all the show notes are undeniably sexier than those that don't. Subscribers to my Substack agree that their appearance visibly improved within 10 minutes. 

Hello again, this shownote reading is becoming a habit with you.  Merry Christmas! We made it. It's the night before Christmas and we managed to get the final episode out! Find out why that is a Christmas miracle when you listen to the show. In this episode, you can marvel at my ability to get drunk on three sips of espresso martini while I present you with a little Christmas Eve buffet of Christmas facts to small for an episode for themselves. Thank you everyone has listened this year. It's been ace! I'll probably write a couple of bits on my Substack so keep an eye out. I'm definitely going to do another podcast in the new year so keep this feed live. I hope you all have the Christmas you want.  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!   Content warning: I say the 's' word, sometimes with relish in the discussion of a defecating log!   Sources: My brain, 1974 edition. Here's all the ways you can contact me. Email – [email protected]  Bluesky - @solsixer.bsky.social  Newsletter - What You Don't Know About Christmas | Neil Chapman | Substack Discord: -What You Don't Know About Christmas Discord  If you hear anything you think needs correcting, get in touch. If there’s anything you would like to know, get in touch! I’d also love to hear your own Christmas traditions whether it’s specific to your family, your country, or your culture. Some photos of Christmassy stuff would be great too. Feeling generous?  Christmas is coming,  The goose is getting fat,  Please put a penny in the podcasters hat.  If you haven’t got a penny,  A ha’penny will do,  If you haven’t got a ha’penny,  Then don’t worry about it just enjoy the show guilt free.  Hey, I get it, times are tough and shelling out extra for a podcast is not what you need to be doing, especially at Christmas. But if you’re doing okay or recently had a visit from three ghosts and feel compelled to buy everyone big poultry you can always tip us instead at:  https://ko-fi.com/whatyoudontknow     

Hello, reading the shownotes even when there's no show. Good for you! And a great big thank you to everyone who has listened over the past couple of weeks. I've had a word with Santa and you're all granted immunity from the naughty list. Here's all the ways you can contact me. Email – [email protected]  Bluesky - @solsixer.bsky.social  Newsletter - What You Don't Know About Christmas | Neil Chapman | Substack Discord: -What You Don't Know About Christmas Discord  If you hear anything you think needs correcting, get in touch. If there’s anything you would like to know, get in touch! I’d also love to hear your own Christmas traditions whether it’s specific to your family, your country, or your culture. Some photos of Christmassy stuff would be great too. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.  

Psst, hey you! Wanna read some shownotes? Follow me. First one is free.  In this episode we get a little spooky and a lot heart warmy, as Neil tells the tale of Captain Santa and the Ghostly Christmas Tree Ship.   Content warning: I’d say this one is PG. We talk about a shipwreck so there’s some death by drowning but no details and there is the ghost element but honestly, I’ve watched scarier Scooby Doo’s.   Thank you to everyone who has listened so far. I see you New Jersey, bis bald, Bayern! I’ve had a lot of fun putting my Christmas decorations up this week. I might even post them on the Ko-fi page, Feel free to send me yours too.    Get in touch!  If you hear anything you think needs correcting, get in touch. If there’s anything you would like to know, get in touch! I’d also love to hear your own Christmas traditions whether it’s specific to your family, your country, or your culture.  Email – [email protected]  Newsletter - What You Don't Know About Christmas | Neil Chapman | Substack    Sources:  Captain Santa’s Last Sail: The Mysterious Fate of the Christmas Tree Ship | Mental Floss  1912, the Year Without Christmas: The ‘Rouse Simmons,’ the Christmas Tree Ghost Ship (revisionist.net)  The Christmas Tree Ship | National Archives    Feeling generous?  Christmas is coming,  The goose is getting fat,  Please put a penny in the podcasters hat.  If you haven’t got a penny,  A ha’penny will do,  If you haven’t got a ha’penny,  Then don’t worry about it just enjoy the show guilt free.  Hey, I get it, times are tough and shelling out extra for a podcast is not what you need to be doing, especially at Christmas. But if you’re doing okay or recently had a visit from three ghosts and feel compelled to buy everyone big poultry you can always tip us instead at:  https://ko-fi.com/whatyoudontknow   

Reading the shownotes? Love that for you. Welcome to What You Don’t Know About Christmas. In this episode we talk about Christmas Blunderlands, that annual tradition of press stories about crappy Christmas attractions. Disgruntled parents, crying kids, smoking elves and swearing Santas, we’ve got the lot. Big content warning for the F word and we don’t mean festive. When I say cover your kid’s ears I mean it. 12.15-13.15, if you want to skip it. No trigger warnings but it might be worth stating the shows Santa policy. We believe. We make it clear the Santa’s mentioned in this episode are clearly imposters so you can listen in confidence that there will be no spoilers concerning the man in red. Get in touch! If you hear anything you think needs correcting, get in touch. If there’s anything you would like to know, get in touch! I’d also love to hear your own Christmas traditions whether it’s specific to your family, your country, or your culture. Email - [email protected] Newsletter - https://neilchapman.substack.com/ Sources: Music by Looptape: Christmas Relax Beat | Royalty-free Music - Pixabay ‘Even the reindeer were unhappy’: life inside Britain’s worst winter wonderlands | Christmas | The Guardian New Forest Lapland park owners 'could have made £1m' - BBC News Lapland New Forest nativity was 'drawing on trailer' - BBC News Staff 'bullied' Lapland New Forest organiser - BBC News Lapland New Forest Santa 'had three-hour queues' - BBC News BBC NEWS | England | Dorset | Lapland theme park is closed down BBC NEWS | England | Dorset | Hundreds slam Lapland park 'scam' Lapland brothers guilty of misleading customers - BBC News ‘Raging’ Santa Claus rips off beard and tells children to ‘get the f*** out’ after fire alarm disrupts grotto | The Independent | The Independent Furious parents attack Santa and his elves as tempers fray at Winter 'blunderland' theme park | Daily Mail Online Scary Scrooge and filthy costumes leave 'kids in tears' at shambolic Santa's grotto - Daily Record 'Fyre Festival' Christmas grotto leaves kids in tears over terrifying Santa with no hands and ‘disastrous’ rides | The Sun Kids cry at East Lothian Christmas grotto with handless Santa and 'disastrous rides' - Edinburgh Live Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen's Magical Journey Christmas park closes after 1 day | Daily Mail Online Mixing, mastering and mumbling: Oliver Chapman. Feeling generous? Christmas is coming, The goose is getting fat, Please put a penny in the old podcasters hat. If you haven’t got a penny, A ha’penny will do, If you haven’t got a ha’penny, Then don’t worry, just enjoy the show guilt free. Hey, I get it, times are tough and shelling out extra for a podcast is not what you need to be doing, especially at Christmas. But if you’re doing okay or recently had a visit from three ghosts and feel compelled to buy everyone big poultry you can always tip us instead at: https://ko-fi.com/whatyoudontknow Even if you don’t want to tip us, it’s worth having a quick look at the page for little behind the scenes posts and previews of what I’m working on. A merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Hello, you little shownote reader you. Welcome to What You Don’t Know About Christmas.   In this episode, we talk about Perchta. An ancient goddess that was the subject of a smear campaign.  How did a protector of forests, women and children, end up being an enforcer of social norms? Have you finished your spinning? Is your house tidy? If not hurry up if you value your intestines!   Content warning: Perchta is into inflicting gory punishments on adults and children and we do talk about them so if you have sensitive little ones or that’s not your bag you might want to give this one a miss. We also mention child death.   Get in touch! If you hear anything you think needs correcting, get in touch.  If there’s anything you would like to know, get in touch! I’d also love to hear your own Christmas traditions whether it’s specific to your family, your country, or your culture. Email - [email protected] Newsletter - https://neilchapman.substack.com/   Sources: Perchta: Evil Witch Of The Alps - An Old Tradition That Still Continues - Ancient Pages What is Frau Perchta? Alpine White Woman or a Belly-Slitter? (germangirlinamerica.com) Perchta and the 12 Days of Christmas (Part 2) - Stephen Morris, author (stephenmorrisauthor.com) The Old Magic of Christmas: Yuletide Traditions for the Darkest Days of the Year eBook : Raedisch, Linda: Amazon.co.uk: Books     Feeling generous? Christmas is coming, The goose is getting fat, Please put a penny in the old podcasters hat. If you haven’t got a penny, A ha’penny will do, If you haven’t got a ha’penny, Then don’t worry about just enjoy the show guilt free. Hey, I get it, times are tough and shelling out extra for a podcast is not what you need to be doing, especially at Christmas. But if you’re doing okay or recently had a visit from three ghosts and feel compelled to buy everyone big poultry you can always tip us instead at: https://ko-fi.com/whatyoudontknow Even if you don’t want to tip us, it’s worth having a quick look at the page for little behind-the-scenes posts and previews of what I’m working on.   A Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!