Who Sets This Clock?

This is a wrap on Season 2! Thanks so much for listening. For this episode, I brought on a very special guest, my very own mother. We focus on the story of how she found out she was pregnant with me. It has some twists and turns! We also get into: - How her upbringing shaped her early adulthood- What she wanted to be when she grew up- The emotions and her mentality around this time - Generational cycles, repeated patterns, and double standards- The support systems in place to help her (which included close friends and Planned Parenthood)Mentions: The History of Family Leave Policies in the United StatesTeen Births in the United States: Overview and Recent TrendsLet’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

Meet Cynthia. She is a close family friend of mine. Through her teens and 20s, she had a pretty normal life and always added a touch of realism to her perspective on things. In her 20s, she met her now husband and they were building a life together. In her 30s, while they were planning their dream destination wedding, Cynthia received a diagnosis that changed everything, including her timeline for marriage and motherhood. In this episode, we talk about:How her upbringing and realist point of view shaped her thoughts on marriage and motherhoodShe tells the story of how she met her now husband post-college, and we both share our engagement stories The shocking diagnosis in her 30s that forced her to cancel her dream destination weddingLearning how to lean on others for help while going through treatmentAfter the diagnosis, making the very quick decision to opt for IVF treatments Figuring out how to live life as a person in remission and her new perspectives on life Looking toward her future and pursuing it with intensity and intention Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

Meet Allen. He is a friend through my husband, Zach. They are both part of a tight-knit group of friends that has kept in touch for over a decade. In this episode, we talk about quite a few different topics, including: How he found his friend circles that he considers family (he has at least two!)Sharing the importance of hanging out regularly and staying in touch with friends Never really wanting to have kids, but loves his role as the fun uncleSharing his thoughts on whether home ownership is still part of the American Dream through the lens of a real estate agent (He shares some real estate tips for those wanting to buy a home, too.) Reaching stability in his 40s is something he places a high value onMentions: Allen’s real estate IG page for anyone looking for a home in the LA area! Find him here. NPR article on the research showing we replace our friends every 7 years. Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

Meet Caroline. She is my first out-of-college work bestie. We were so young with bright eyes bushy tails, and driven to get started on our professional career path. During our time together, we became quick friends and have stayed in touch ever since. In this episode, we get into: Navigating her timeline with the focus on her career and not really thinking about marriage and having children Getting a second chance through grad school to move away from home and have a college experience Pivoting and figuring out her new timeline after a health diagnosisLearning how to accept not being in the workforce through therapy Sharing how she keeps her identity after becoming a mom Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

Meet Marissa. In this conversation, we get into a dialogue about making the choice to have kids or not. Her story brings in new topics to the pod, including her upbringing in Mexico and being a dual citizen. In this episode, she shares: Growing up in Mexico and being a dual citizen in America and how she navigated life across bordersHow her parents' working long hours across the border shaped her childhoodGrieving the idea of recreating her own childhood for a future child she would not haveNot wanting to live in the in-between of her choice to have a kid and to be secure in her decisionSharing a story about friendship tensions between a friend who is a parent and how she worked through themMentions:The Baby Decision: How to Make The Most Important Choice of Your Life by Merle a BombardieriMotherhood – Is It For Me?: Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity Denise L. Carlini and Ann DavidmanPew Research Study HereLet’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

Meet Lili. She felt called to the caregiver role and remembers wanting to be a mom as early as 6. In this episode, we talk about her thoughts on motherhood, career aspirations, and her relationship journey with her husband, Gustavo. Topics include:​Holding the duality of feeling the joy of being engaged and having concerns voiced by her family from the age gap between her and Gustavo ​How Gustavo proposed to her...twice! ​Her decision to work on her career to become a marriage and family therapist before having her first child​Observing her parents interacting with her son as grandparents and how it differs from her childhood ​Listening to parents' difficulties of raising young children through her occupation, and facing her own struggles after giving birth Listen to her husband's, Gustavo, episode here: Episode 7Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

Meet Jordan. He grew up in a long lineage of people in faith and was the pastor’s kid. That heavily influenced him to want a wife and marriage. In his mid-20s, things shifted and he started to focus on a partner. In this episode, we talk about: ​Experiences in the church that shifted his values in life​Learning how to be ok with being single and being on his own in his 20s​The meet-cute story on how he met his wife​Recalls his tough moments during the pandemic raising his young son in NYC​His philosophies on how he wants to raise his kids with his wifeJordan had to cut the convo short to help his wife with the kids, so I share his life advice at the end. Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

Meet Viviana. She had her daughter at the age of 19 and people told her she would ruin her life. At that time, she felt like she had let people down. By moving forward with her pregnancy, she challenged the assumption that there’s only one right timeline for becoming a mom. Her story shows how you can still have a great life even when you follow the milestones of career, marriage, and having kids in reverse. In this episode, we talk about: Her experience as a young mom trying to navigate motherhood earlier than she expected to. She talks about what life looked like as a mother in her 20s and how that changed her timeline to develop her career. Why marriage happened for her later in life She shares conversations she has with her daughter and what she hopes for her future.I’m so thankful to reconnect with a friend from middle school and so glad she wanted to be on the podcast! Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

Season 2, let’s go! Meet Ashley Hall. Her various museum and zoo jobs over the past 17 years have been to talk to people about the natural world. Ashley wears many hats: author, paleontologist, naturalist, science communicator, cat parent, and more! I know Ashley because, at one point, we worked as museum educators together, and I learned a lot from her. On her socials, you learn about science and the natural world. In this episode, we get into: Her choice not to have kids and the conversations she had with her husband, Lee, to get to that decision. Lee is also a paleontologist! They proudly identify as DINKS, dual income no kids. How their life in the non-profit career track has impacted their decision. We bond over the grief we both felt when we realized we would not have children. She surprises me with a milestone she hasn’t reached yet. We talk about our mental health challenges and the ways we cope with them. All in all, Ashley stays true to herself and sees her role in society as helping others know more about the wonders of our world. Stay tuned to find out our favorite prehistoric animal at the end! Mentions: Society of Vertebrate PaleontologyAshley’s Books: Fossils for Kids, Gems for Kids , Prehistoric Worlds in English and Spanish versionFollow Ashley on Instagram @ladynaturalist and Bluesky @ladynaturalist.bsky.socialNYT Piece “A Paleontologist’s Guide to Playing with Your Dinosaur-Obsessed Kid”Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpo

This week, it’s just me talking to you! I reflect on my podcast experience with you. I do love a challenge and I share what I’ve learned from putting this together all by myself. I touch on how I’m fighting feelings of burn out, moments that I wanted to cry, my favorite parts, and much more. There have been multiple times I wanted to stop creating episodes but I’m glad I’ve kept going. I also recap each guest’s responses to the question I ask everyone at the end of each episode. Lots of great wisdom and life advice from people in their 30s and 40s. Thank you so much for listening and for your support. I’ll see you back here on Thursday, August 21st. Click the follow button to get reminded when I’m back from my break! Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

Zach brings it all to the table. He shares how he never felt like he fit in in social circles and friendship groups starting in high school and how that led him to leave behind conventional timelines. He’s not one to conform because that’s what society says. We get into his thoughts on kids and marriage before and after he met me. We share how we figured out the joint decision not to have kids and how we got there. Luckily, we agreed on that early on in our relationship. At the end, I share one quality I love most about him and I promise it’s not too sappy! Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

Hannah shares how her career trajectory in her 20s prompted her to pause and embark on a journey to discover what she wanted out of life. That led her to type out a spreadsheet of what she desired in a partner. She discusses how in her thirties she found her husband and then grew her family into a family of four. From her life experiences, she says she doesn’t have life figured out but is comfortable with change. Since we met on a tennis court, of course, there are tennis analogies and we talk about how being on the court has impacted our mindset! Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpodMentions: Seal talks about tennis in this article in the N.Y. Times. 

In this episode, I talk with my cousin and friend, Monica. We’re only two weeks apart! Recently, there have been a lot of big changes she’s adapting to, but they were thoughtful ones that she feels ready for. We talk about her life changes and milestones. We discuss her thoughts on her childfree life, which includes her journey with a PCOS diagnosis in her 20s and discovering uterine fibroids in her 30s. Overall, in her late thirties, she has made the moves to find purpose in her life and feel content with it. Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpodMentions: The book, Women Without Kids, by Ruby Warrington Venus Williams shares her experience with uterine fibroids in Self Magazine. 

Gustavo hoped and dreamed that he would start a family right out of high school. But that ended up not being in the cards for him at that time. We go through his timelines and look into how he spent his 20s and 30s finding himself and building confidence.. All the while, he had fun and kept his heart and mind open to new opportunities. Then, in his 40s, he met his wife, and they had a son. He built a family he had always dreamed of, even though it wasn’t on the timeline he wanted it to happen. Now, as a father of one, he talks about how he’s navigating being a father, husband, and friend. At the end, Gustavo comes prepared with lyrics from his favorite songs, including from the band U2, to impart to his son and his generation.Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

In this episode, I interview my sister’s best friend, Belen. She talks about how her timelines changed as she grew up. Early on, she thought she would be destined to be on one pathway, to repeat her mother’s timeline. But her viewpoint and perspective have changed a lot as she’s grown up. I love that she shares how she finds moments with her bestie, even though they live states apart. We end with some comments on reality TV shows like The Valley. Belen is showing us all that we don’t have to hold on to old beliefs and that we can change our minds. Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpodEpisode Sources:https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2025/20250423.htm?utm https://blogs.cdc.gov/nchs/2025/06/13/7780/?utm https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr74/nvsr74-3.pdf?utm 

In this episode, Leia and I talk about how she’s merging her career and creative project aspirations, like writing a book, with her desire to have a kid soon. She shares the societal and familial pressures she’s felt lately. Drawing from our own experiences, we get into how we can have better conversations with our friends who have kids. New episodes drop every Thursday. Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

My friend, Rocio, shares that she never pictured her wedding day and often resisted conventional timeline milestones. Now, at almost 40 years old, she talks with her husband about the possibility of adoption. She shares how her perspectives on life have changed over time, especially caring less about what other people think. Rocio shares many insightful, wise life lessons she’s learned along the way. New episodes drop every Thursday. Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

I talk with my friend, Frankie. He shares how growing up with loving and emotionally intelligent parents gave him the freedom to figure out his own pathways in life. We talk about the pressure, or lack of it, to follow traditional, heteronormative timelines, aka the American Dream. We get into the hope we both have for generational shifts that make more room for openness and, honestly, more privacy. Frankie also shares how he finds purpose in volunteer and union work and how he navigates friendships as people around him start having and raising kids. He creates his own timeline with conviction and aligns it to his own values. New episodes drop every Thursday. Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

I talk to one of my closest friends, Jenna, whom I met in our freshman year of college. We instantly hit it off. In college, we talked about having kids someday. I ended up changing my mind about it, and Jenna became a mother in her 30s. We work through these diverging pathways. In this episode, we walk through Jenna’s timeline towards motherhood. We get into the many factors that affected her timeline to grow her family, including FOMO, and her career. We’re both millennials, so you just know we’re talking about the 2008 Great Recession. Then, we get into how our friendship has shifted now that she has kids. I reveal some guilt I’ve been holding onto. We both share tips on how to maintain a friendship through this phase of life. She surprises me with a review of how I’m doing as a friend and aunt. Overall, Jenna thinks life is weird and may have figured out one of the keys to life! New episodes drop every Thursday. Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

My first guest, here we go! I have a conversation with one of my sisters, Rachel, the second youngest in our family. We dive deep into how she feels about where she is in life, how our childhood shaped our thoughts around having kids, and a term she’s created herself: “mom hugs.” Rachel shares how she navigates dating in her 30s, especially through the lens of seeing more men in her age range who already have kids. Rachel turns the tables and asks me some questions about how I feel about my decision not to have kids. This leads to an unexpected and honest conversation about grief. We say the quiet parts out loud. Overall, Rachel may not have it all figured out, but she feels like a unicorn and thinks that’s pretty cool.New episodes drop every Thursday. Subscribe or follow so you don’t miss one! Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected]  / Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com /  Instagram: @thisclockpod

Hi I’m Margarete, thanks for being here. I’m someone who’s deeply curious about the choices we make in life — especially around having kids — and how we navigate all the pressures tied to those decisions. I want to figure out better language on how to have conversations with friends and family when we start to grow our families ... or don’t. I’ll be bringing in many different perspectives and life experiences to discuss these topics. This is my intro episode. I talk about some of the reasons I started this podcast, how my own story shaped it, and what questions I’ll be exploring with guests. I reveal whether I chose to have kids or not. I share who I dedicate this podcast to. Without them, I wouldn’t have had the privilege to make the choice to have kids or not. New episodes drop every Thursday. Subscribe or follow so you don’t miss one! Let’s Stay Connected:Email: [email protected] Behind-the-scenes + reflections: thisclockpod.substack.com Instagram: @thisclockpod