Words in the Wilderness

'Matrescence' is a word that has been around since 1973. It only made it into the dictionary in 2022. That gap tells you almost everything you need to know about how well we've been holding the experience of becoming a mother.Lucy Wylde is a matrescence activist and coach who works with women navigating the identity shift of motherhood - before, during and long after. She's also a poet. And in this conversation, she and Jacky go deep into the places most parenting content never reaches: birth trauma, the inner split of wanting to be two people at once, feeling unseen in the experience that changed everything.This is an episode for anyone who has ever felt like they were supposed to be grateful - and found something more complicated underneath.In this episode:What matrescence actually is How poetry became Lucy’s way of telling her truth about the traumatic birth of her daughter Matilda, the loss of the woman she was and the parts of motherhood that no one validatesThe ‘inner split’ - wanting to be fully present as a mother and fully yourself as a person, at the same timeHow ‘premenstrual tension’ is actually ‘premenstrual truth’ - what surfaces when hormones that act as a buffer shift and change Why “you matter” isn’t a platitude - and what it actually takes to feel it  | "My scar is amazing. My stretch marks are too. They remind me of growing and welcoming you... well done, strong mama. Please know you'll recover. Birth trauma is real and we must help each other." — Lucy WyldeWebsite: https://www.lucywyldecoaching.com

Do you ever feel the urge to cry out, but swallow it back down instead? That specific, lonely feeling when you want to howl but it feels pointless, so you gulp it down instead — and there's no one to reason out your sadness, your guilt, your fear with.This episode maps the journey from that swallowed feeling all the way through to hope using the unexpected power of poetry to witness, name, and navigate what we're really going through.In this episode:Why we need our own vocabulary,  and how making up words can be the first act of self-understandingThe Frustration Triangle: the three places we instinctively go when change gets hard: blamer, self-shamer, or up-you-gamerWhat's really underneath blame How writing your shitty first draft of emotions can unlock the vulnerable wound hiding behind the vitriolWhat happens when someone who harmed you never takes accountability  and how we end up turning that inwardWhy the blank page is the perfect therapist: it doesn't answer back, doesn't charge you anything, and never fails to witness

You were probably taught that poetry has a meaning, and your job is to find it. That's exactly why so many of us decided it wasn't for us.In this episode, Jacky is joined by Dr. Stephanie Aspin  - poet, therapist, academic, and author of Poetry and Therapy: Why Words Help  - for a conversation that might just change how you think about language, feeling, and what it means to be witnessed.Stephanie describes a poem not as a text to be decoded but as a little machine  -  a kinetic object where meaning shifts and moves. And in that movement, something therapeutic happens: language speaks back. It holds what we can't say directly. It gives us agency over a story we thought was fixed.In this episode:Why poetry has a bad rap  The poem as container: how an image can hold fear, grief, rage at arm's lengthWhat it means when language "speaks back"  - and why writing can reveal what we didn't know we knewHow to take your very first tentative steps with therapeutic poetry (even if you're completely resistant)Why all poetry is therapeutic  - whether it was written to be or not  | Quote from the episode: "The me in my poems is the articulate me that's okay  - and says I'm okay. And the world, if it thinks I'm not okay, it's wrong."About Dr. Stephanie Aspin:Websites: https://stephanieaspin.com/https://a-typicats.com/Link to her book: https://www.pccs-books.co.uk/products/poetry-and-therapy-why-words-helpPoem Links:https://www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poem/the-masque-of-anarchy/https://www.poetryfoundation.org/collections/101581/poems-of-protest-resistance-and-empowermenthttps://www.poetryfoundation.org/education/glossary/found-poemhttps://blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/product/Revolution-in-Poetic-Language-by-Julia-Kristeva-author-Margaret-Waller-translator/9780231214599?srsltid=AfmBOopuTEDNlgFqEEJYiqZHR4r7ZQN-FLs-RjDCnnQvMNvl2349pMrd

You know that moment when something rises in your throat - a howl, a truth, a need - and you just... swallow it back down?Jacky has a word for that. Hulp. A howl and a gulp combined. And this episode begins there; right in that frozen, swallowed place, because that's exactly where Jacky found herself when she sat down to record!This is an episode about what it actually feels like to start something. A behind the scenes look at the recording and deleting, the shame that crawls up when old wounds surface, the "here we go again" of it...Jacky takes you through the process she used to move from freeze to finally pressing record: writing a letter from her fear, sitting with the grief of it, reaching out - and what happened when she did.In this episode:The HULP poem - and what it means to have a pile of swallowed truthsWhy the antidote to shame is love, not self-improvementThe gap between your ideal self and your actual self - and why staying with the actual is where the richness livesWhy feeling like you don't fit in might mean you're a leader, not a misfitLink to the Youtube video Jacky refers to in the epsiode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0872fKNtIw

For the scared souls, the never-dared souls, the lost and double-crossed souls — the ones sitting in the wilderness of change, wondering if anyone else feels this way.Words in the Wilderness is a podcast for people in the messy middle of becoming who they really are.Hosted by therapist and poet Jacky Power, this is the space where we stop performing and start witnessing. Where your feelings aren't problems to solve - they're wisdom to decode.Through poetry, honest storytelling and real conversations, Jacky accompanies the changemakers and cycle-breakers who are walking away from what doesn't serve them, toward something that finally feels true.Each episode uses original poetry as a starting point  -  to bypass our defences and reach the feelings we haven't found words for yet.This is not a podcast about having it figured out. It's a companion for the brave work of figuring it out - one poem at a time.This podcast is for you if:• You've made a big life change and feel more lost than you expected• You're exhausted from performing 'fine' while something truer waits underneath• You've never thought poetry was 'for you' - but you're open to being surprised• You want to feel less alone in the wilderness of becoming"Please receive my words as gifts. Each poem a billet-doux, each line a delicate heart string to see the tough times through. All I'm ever trying to say — all I want to do — is encourage you to be who you are. To be the you-est you."

Understanding Addiction, Recovery, and Transformation   In this powerful episode, we sit down with Thomas Delaney, who shares his deeply personal journey from ketamine addiction to recovery and advocacy. During his recovery, Thomas has spoken to audiences in the thousands and reached an online global audience of over 20 million people.  He has spoken at some of the UK’s most significant wellbeing events and the world’s largest performance arts festival, The Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Thomas's story offers a raw and honest look into the complexities of addiction, the challenges of recovery, and the potential for profound personal transformation.   Key topics discussed:   1. The interplay between childhood trauma, intergenerational patterns, and addiction 2. Hierarchies within addiction and their impact on treatment and societal perceptions 3. The realities of residential treatment and the recovery process 4. Power dynamics and stigma surrounding addiction 5. Controversies of ketamine therapy for mental health treatment 6. The importance of addressing underlying causes rather than just symptoms 7. Finding purpose and meaning in life after addiction   Highlights:   - Thomas's courageous sharing of his personal experiences with addiction and recovery - Insights into the nuanced nature of addiction and the challenges of seeking help - Discussion on the use of substances to treat addiction and mental health issues - Emphasis on holistic approaches to healing and recovery - The power of finding purpose and meaning in recovery   Takeaways:   This episode underscores that recovery is not just about abstaining from substances, but about rebuilding a life filled with connection, purpose, and self-understanding. Thomas's journey offers hope and inspiration for anyone struggling with addiction or supporting someone on their recovery path.   Remember, healing is possible, and every step towards recovery is a victory worth celebrating.   Join addiction psychologist and poet Jacky Power and her guest Thomas Delaney  for this enlightening and thought-provoking conversation that aims to destigmatise addiction and help those affected feel less alone in their struggles.

A mother's journey through addiction and loss.

EFT practitioners Aga Kehinde, who is originally from that town and  and Jessica Mór, who until February 2022 had been living in Ukraine due to her spouse’s work, join me today to talk about their experience of co-creating  ‘Support for Slupsk’ The project has now delivered training to more than 800 people working for the services of the town of Slupsk, Poland who are coming into direct contact with the Ukrainian refugee population. The training has involved participants learning tapping and somatic trauma relief tools, the neurobiology of how they work, and the confidence and skills to use and share this knowledge and tools as they move through this challenging time.

In this episode we chat about what sustainable fashion is; how to get off the trend treadmill; Sophia's experiment in which she is not buying any new or preloved clothes (except for vital undies and socks!) and how 'sober dressing' can be creative, empowering and fun. Sophia's mission is to help you restyle and rework your wardrobe using what you already have. She makes up "new to you" outfits from clothes that you may have forgotten about, discarded, or loved... but never been sure what to put it with. She creates outfits that are true to your sense of style and the woman you want to show up as in the world.

There is much more to his story, so let’s welcome him to share some of that and also to create hope and inspiration with sharing how he moved through such severe intergenerational trauma and adverse childhood experiences to be the inspirational coach he is today; from trauma to triumph. As he says, ‘The trauma may be our foundation, but it is not our future.’

We talked about her 3 discoveries with the research that she has done, how betrayal is a different kind of trauma because of how it feels so intentional and personal and therefore relates to trust, how it affects one physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally - and she shared some really sobering statistics around that and how it is possible to move through from betrayal to breakthrough with her five stage process.

I met Dan when we were at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August 2022 and I went to his show 'Patience Zero'. The description of his show was: 'Dan's always wanted to be a father. But now he and his wife are going through constant loss and IVF, he starts to ask the question: is he good enough? But in a year with a serious accident, an NHS-induced bad K-trip, a letter warning of impending death and, oh, aliens, he begins to wonder - is the universe telling him no? It's a comedy. Somewhere between stand-up and theatre, this show explores how far you will go for family.' I was interested in having Dan speak on the podcast because it is rare to find places where men share about this experience. In this episode I speak to Dan about writing his story as a comedy show; how he and his wife dealt with miscarriage and loss and what impact his show had on other people.

Redefining what it means to be emotionally resilient, Josh in an ambassador for NACOA, the National Association for Children of Alcoholics. He works with individuals and corporation to help people improve their emotional resilience. His down to earth, highly informed videos on social media have attracted hundred of thousands of followers. He joins me on The Therapeutic Poet podcast to talk about being a child of an alcoholic, addiction recovery, what it means to really listen and the importance of community.

We cover: Trauma Bonding Being on the receiving end of the silent treatment Emotional abuse Narcissistic abuse Covert sexual abuse Addiction Complex trauma Trauma responses Toxic shame Going from not having a voice, to reclaiming it Parenting The healing power of writing.

A podcast episode detailing Jacky’s experience of performing her show, ‘Stop the world I want to get off’ at The Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2022.

In this episode we begin with my poem 'Tell me your story' I wrote it about trauma; how trauma needs to be acknowledged in all its grittiness, not diminished or dressed up as ‘not that bad’ in order to be healed. As today’s guest Lucinda Gordon Lennox says, we all have some trauma and trauma can be healed. Part of what can hinder that healing is the denial of that trauma. Other people, or even ourselves can try to minimise, justify or rationalise what has happened to us and the impact that it has had. What if we let our stories out? What if we look its wild wickedness in the eye and start from there? If you are interested in the idea of that then I’m sure you’ll get a lot out of the conversation today. Encouraging a deeper conversation about our trauma is trauma therapist, writer and lecturer Lucinda Gordon Lennox. She is author of ‘Nobody is broken’ a book which helps to explain what trauma is, how it happens and why it remains hidden for so long.

Today I am talking to Julia Warren. Julia is a mother to her two boys, a trauma informed yoga teacher and a writer. She is also in recovery from drug addiction and recently stepped into the role of widow as in September 2021 her husband Doug overdosed when he relapsed from his own addiction recovery. In this episode we talk about Julia’s recovery from drug addiction. She talks about how she went from the loneliness and isolation of addiction to recovery with the help of fellowship from other women in recovery. We talk about Doug’s relapse and what that was like for her not only as a wife but also as a recovering addict herself.

This episode is the second part of a conversation that I had with Julia Warren. Julia is a mother, yoga teacher, writer and recovering addict. In September 2021, she lost her husband Doug when he relapsed and died of a drug overdose. In this episode, Julia shares her own writing, documenting her thoughts and feelings as she grieves her husband. We talk about what's helpful and unhelpful when someone is grieving. What the shittiest things are about grief, and how through fully surrendering to our grief, it's possible to find joy, and hope.

In January 2017, Lara came out of a long-term relationship, and felt broken, lost, stuck, lacking in direction and purpose. In November She read a book about vision boards, created her own and 4 months later she was running her own, with 10 participants. She has since trained in NLP and expanded her knowledge with studying about neuroscience. Last year she published her first book The Mighty Book of Motivation Magic and she is here to chat with me about vision boards and motivation.

When faced with an empty nest, Kari Gillespie decided to spread her own wings. She gave up a job that she loved and set off to walk across Spain and then she wrote a book about it called Pilgrim. I loved the book and am excited to share this conversation with you. In this episode I started with my poem I start from where I am today.

Leslie Davies, author of ‘You can’t eat love: learning to love yourself can change your relationship with food’ is here to talk about her relationship with food and how she realised that the emptiness that she was feeling inside and trying to fill with food was to do with her relationship with herself. She shares how she used her relationship with food as a signpost for changes that she needed to make in relationship to herself, healing the wounds that she had encountered through emotional neglect in her childhood.

John was the son of a heroin dealer, and he himself ended up falling into drugs and alcohol and became homeless. In 2012 he sold his own drug treatment facility for $45 million dollars and he has helped 1000s of people in their own addiction recovery. In this episode, we discuss addiction and the story behind the label of being an addict. John shares how he turned his life around from growing up amongst a family that seemed like it had come straight out of an episode of The Sopranos to now being an international speaker on science based holistic treatments in addiction, recovery, and mental health.

In this episode about belonging with Vanessa Belleau I started with my poem The Secret to Belonging. We discuss the evolution of diversity and inclusion as buzzwords to the necessary action that's needed in order to help people feel like they belong. Vanessa shares her own personal experiences of the importance of representation from a random man on the street to her own mum, and how that can be life changing. I certainly learned so much from Vanessa about how we need to strive for unity, but also the importance of celebration of each other. So listen in, I think she is a bubble of joy to listen to, and I hope you do too.

In this episode on creativity, we began with my poem, Nothing rhymes with purple. Caro Gomez shared her creative path which involves tenacity, grit, criticism, self doubt, and concrete blocks, metaphorically, not literally. I think that the take out of this episode is the importance of consistency and perseverance and that we cannot not be creative. When creating there are no endings, just detours. But as Caro has shown, each detour can enhance our creative output.

Joining me on The Therapeutic Poet podcast today is Jenny Alexander. Jenny is a prolific author and some of the books that she has written about tackle the subject of bullying. Some of these are for children, like her book '70 ways to bully proof yourself’, and others for adults, such as ‘When you child is bullied: an essential guide for parents’. Jenny explains why she wrote a book about bullying, the impacts of psychological (as well as physical) bullying and what can be done to build resilience, even when bullying is going on. You can find out more about Jenny at www.jennyalexander.com. Jenny is a member of Lapidus, the writing for wellbeing community.

Today on The Therapeutic Poet podcast I am joined by neuroscientist, science communicator and storyteller Dr. Paula Croxson. Paula is also an open water swimmer regularly swimming marathons, a flautist with the band Marlowe Grey, senior producer of the science based storytelling platform Storycollider and, she is also my cousin! We started with my poem ‘As I stood on the shore of my memories.’ We spoke about how memory are changes that happen in our brains based on our experiences. Paula explained how memory can be explicit and implicit, supported by different parts of the brain, but all parts of the brain are interconnected.

Something that none of us want to experience, and yet we all do, is suffering. In our western mostly secular society it is easy to see why we see suffering as an affront to our human rights. We all want to live tidy, prosperous, fulfilled lives and can see why we would regard suffering as a threat to that and that it needs to be controlled and managed away as quickly as possible. Some may say, "how can there be a God that allows so much pain?". But suffering is everywhere and every life will have tragic episodes, so how can we deal with our suffering? In this episode I speak to therapist Susan McGrath about skilfully suffering.

In this episode I am joined by For Women Who Roar founder Megan Febuary. She describes how writing a poem to reconcile the silence of her rage and grief lead to the creation of a movement to help other women tell their stories. We spoke of the importance of the healing process through writing, rather than focussing on the finished piece. How we can let our writing write us, shedding our defences to get to the truth, a complicated disorganised process.

How are you with boundaries? Do you know how to set them and how do you deal with the consequences when your boundaries are pushed or crossed? Are they something you shy away from or embrace with gusto? Whatever your experience with boundaries so far you are in for a treat today because I am joined by Kari Kwinn, author of the book Better Boundaries: You don’t have to be broken to be better. We start with my poem ‘Positively negative’.

Joining me today is professional declutterer Belinda Knox Spinks. On her website Home of Hidden Treasures Belinda says ‘I help people find the hidden treasures of space, time and happiness. We start with my poem ‘All at Sea’

Today I am joined by Susan Earlam. Susan has been a very successful blogger in the past and her short fiction has appeared in publications and anthologies including Pure Slush, Feminist Surrealism Journal, The Debutante, Mslexia, Reflex Function and Cabinet of Heed. This year she released her debut novel Earthly Bodies, a dystopian eco horror story that spans the ages, where strangers reveal their contribution to an extraordinary act of survival. We start with my poem ‘Be a litter picker upper’

Joining me to talk about trauma and how we can thrive despite, or perhaps because of the trauma we have endured is trauma specialist Lou Lebentz. Lou is founder of the group ‘Trauma Thrivers’. Lou’s mission is to make trauma therapy accessible to all and go beyond that to thriving in life. She has been a therapist specialising in trauma, eating disorders, addiction and EMDR for nearly 20 years and did a Ted Talk called ‘The sweet sanity of madness’ in 2015. We talk about what trauma is. Rather than it being as the result of a particular event, it is a nervous system response that gets held in the body, rather than being discharged. We start with my poem ‘Freeze’

Today we talk about grief, something that Clover is very familiar with. Her mum was brain damaged in a horse accident when Clover was 16 and her mum died 22 years later. Clover has also lost her dear sister Nell to breast cancer. We look grief in the face in this episode and I hope that it gives you some encouragement to allow yourself to grieve in the way you need to, or to help support someone else who may be grieving right now. Clover is a generous conversationalist and I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I enjoyed speaking to her.

Brad is co-founder and clinical Director of Evoke Therapy Programs. Evoke’s evidence based Wilderness Therapy is based Oregon and Utah and works with the outdoors, reaching deep and accomplishing growth that just can’t be achieved in a therapist’s office or hospital setting. Thousand of Adolescents, parents and families have benefited from the work done there. Brad also hosts his own podcast called Finding you: Evoke Therapy podcast and he is the author of two books: The Journey of the heroic parent and The audacity to be you: learning to love your horrible rotten self.’

Do you or someone you know have dyslexia? Then listen up!In this podcast I speak to Michelle Catterson. Michelle is not only executive head at the Moonhall schools in Surrey, she is also a Vice Chair of the British Dyslexia Association. Moonhall school specialises in teaching children with dyslexia.

I speak to Harriet Brown about her book 'Shadow Daughter: a memoir of estrangement' which details Harriet’s own account of the destructive relationship with her mother and how this led to their estrangement.

I’m so delighted that joining me on the Therapeutic poet podcast today is the proprietor of Onsite, Miles Adcox. Miles is an extraordinarily kind, thoughtful, and humble leader, entrepreneur and speaker.

In this podcast I talk to award winning poet Terrell Lewis. Terrell only started writing poetry a few years ago as a way to handle his feelings during an isolating time. Inspired by his writer mum he soon found that he had a talent for expression through poetry.

Show notes:The poem I reference is 'how to be alone' by Pádraig Ó'Tuama.Books I reference:'Together' by Vivek H MurthyJournal of a Solitude by May SartonArticles:Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, professor of psychology and neuroscience 2010: https://journals.plos.org/plosmedicine/article?id=10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316Loneliness: The experience of emotional and social isolation by RS WeissInformation on G. Rizzolatti and mirror neurons: https://www.dialoghisulluomo.it/en/rizzolatti-sinigaglia/are-we-social-beings-a-dialogue-between-neuroscience-and-philosophy

All Episodes Delete Edit In conversation with Judy Apps about the art of communication. July 09, 2021 Jacky Power Season: 1 Episode: 8 Description Judy Apps is a professional voice and communication coach and has spent many years unravelling the secrets of how great leaders inspire others, and now teaches these skills to people from all walks of life – from executives on the board of major international corporations to media people, politicians, and individuals just wanting to find the best of themselves. She is the author of several books and in 2019 did a Ted Talk on 'How your voice touches others: The True Meaning of what you say.' Findn out more about Judy at: www.judyapps.co.uk Watch Judy's Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hW89Ytljic

This is a meaty episode! I speak to clinical psychologist Anne Darcy (bio below) who works in a personality disorder unit. We talk about what is problematic about a mental health diagnosis; labelling people with ‘disorders’. Anne has been using an alternative approach called The Power Threat Meaning Framework. A group of senior psychologists (Lucy Johnstone, Mary Boyle, John Cromby, David Harper, Peter Kinderman, David Pilgrim and John Read) and high profile service user campaigners (Jacqui Dillon and Eleanor Longden) spent five years developing the Power Threat Meaning Framework as an alternative to more traditional models based on psychiatric diagnosis. Anne leads us through how this works so that instead of asking ‘what is wrong with you’ we start from a place of ‘what has happened to you and how has power operated and affected you in your life and how did you respond.’ We talk about the cultural influence of ‘disorders’; that ‘disorders’ are responses to stress and that all stress is culture-bound. We challenge the biological approach of ‘mental health’ (that depression is hereditary and mental illness caused by chemical imbalances in the brain), discuss how the diagnosis of schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder are very often given to highly oppressed or marginalised individuals in the community. We look at trauma, and how using the word ‘adversity’ may be more useful. This is truly a podcast which will help to rehumanise our human experience. Jargon Buster: DSM is the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders by the American Psychiatric Association - the handbook used to diagnose mental health disorders ICD is the International Classification of Diseases - the global standard for diagnostic health information. Show notes: For more information on The Power Threat Meaning Framework and resources: https://www.bps.org.uk/power-threat-meaning-framework To buy the book (which informed much of this discussion): https://www.pccs-books.co.uk/products/a-straight-talking-introduction-to-the-power-threat-meaning-framework-an-alternative-to-psychiatric-diagnosis A recent article by Dr Lucy Johnstone, co author of the framework: https://iai.tv/articles/beyond-the-mental-health-paradigm-the-power-threat-meaning-framework-auid-1803?_auid=2020

Joining me today to talk about their journey to embrace their own unique differentiation is the gorgeous Jude Guaitamacchi. Jude is a non-binary, speaker, LGBTQi+ awareness trainer, consultant, social campaigner, activist and writer. Their career started working in mental health and resilience, working closely with the Amy Winehouse Foundation in the charity’s early days. More recently they have also become the face of the Harrods H beauty campaign. What is so beautiful about them? Well, in their own words ‘My beauty is being myself.’