PODCAST · health
YOUR GEMINI EX
by Malea and JP
two gemini lesbian bartenders at the two different lesbian bars in NYC with two micsIntro beats credit to: https://uppbeat.io/t/aavirall/quakeLicense code: MLRJFCGUQBHEUP2M
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25
24: BIGGER FISH TO FRY
JP learning to read, Drag Race drama, substance abuse double standards, surviving the winter storm, the new Tiktok update, the horrors, misandry, playing with a tech deck on Long Island, Youtube University, Sydney Sweeney & Sam Levinson (the stupid motherfuckers), and seeing Sinners in theaters with AMC A-List.
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24
23: POD ALL THE TIME. BARTEND, OCCASIONALLY
Pairs of people that are funnier than us, Malea's reading goals, Harry Styles's return to the light, playing password poorly, which celebrities will not be g**llotined, podcast Oscar, the bar opening imminently, and The Living Lesbian Archive.
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23
22: THIS IS NOT A GLP-1 AD
2026 In's & Out's, why bed rotting isn't real, those gay hockey boys, sitting diagonally from your friends, the strangest things being bad writing and zionism, overconsuming books, and making everything one big farmers market.
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22
21: JP CRIES (NOT CLICKBAIT) ((GENUINELY SAD))
excuses, a recap of the past few months, more excuses, the saddest thing you’ll ever hear in your life, living in zohran mamdani’s new york, Wicked, Dan & Phil, wanting prerecorded ads.
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21
20: DID WE FORGET TO DROP THIS? (YES.)
BONUS CONTENT! We don't remember what we talked about. Listen & find out.
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20
19: TO TAKE OR NOT TO TAKE TYLENOL
A very official setup, needing a producer, the ethics of Malea’s sense of humor, how much JP’s free speech costs, the definition of “performative” , the best performative masc competition, arguing on Facebook, personal responsibility, and the fact that it is ALWAYS THAT DEEP.
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19
18: IT IS ALWAYS THAT DEEP
JP always getting hexed, that guy that got shot everyone keeps talking about, the government is distracting us, cursed tik tok sounds, ethical consumption, the definition of performative, performative masc competitions, reading about platypus, selective queerness, roots of oppression, specifying language.
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18
17: JENNA ORTEGA GIVE US A CHANCE
Great charities, how to be a productive ally, journaling, shameless 47 year old’s thirst traps, Taylor Swift (The Company), JP’s favorite Gemini artists, Sabrina Carpenter’s forgotten gay awakening, SuperWhoLock (sorry), and the Texan law maker being held hostage.
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17
16: SHE WOKE ON MY MIND TIL I VIRUS
Minstrel theatre, how much we hate AI, how AI is a tool of oppression, Kendra the crazy AI lover on tiktok, lesbians wrestling in oil, tboys wrestling, queer people across the globe wrestling, and our first guest in the future being Tiffany (Malea's mom), and why not to own a car.
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16
15: BLACK WOMEN ARE IN AGAIN
Dinner with dead people, Ozzy Osbourne (or not? no, it's definitely him. It's Ozzy), what it means to be heterosexual, mean comments, getting scouted, iphone free zones, NOT filming SZA, and cutting the episode short to make it to the last ferry to Fire Island.
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15
14: CAN A MAN BE SUPER?
Aquaman Paytas, JP finishing their fucking gummy bears, Sydney Sweeney's first offense, all the different ways you can die (including in London), matching outfits, not referencing Lolita, Evita on The West End, and what Dollskill owes Malea.
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14
13: MAKING LEO SEASON ABOUT US
Season 2 JP and Malea talk gemini season, pride, Jojo Siwa's exes, Man Hating Lesbians party, Celebrity sighting etiquette, JP keeps running into comedians, The Queer Ultimatum, The Epstein List.
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13
12: WE GOT MATCHING TATTOOS (REAL)
GEMINI SEASON BOUTTA GO CRAZY ! JP and Malea record separate episodes , getting tattooed on the air, they still haven't heard each others episodes, dental insurance, ways they promise to be better next season, and reading (as always). (Uploaded on JP's birthday)
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12
11: THIS WEEK DRAINED ME
JP MOVING TO NEW JERSEY, WE HATE LOVING THE MET GALA, HUMAN DUPES, MASC PHOTOSHOOTS, FUCK POLLEN, HEALTH INSURANCE BEING A SCAM, THE IMPORTANCE OF SUPPORTING THE ARTS, SLAVERY IS FULLY LEGAL, LOCAL QUEER EVENT/SART SHOUTOUTS.
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11
10: NO NO JOJO
Jojo Siwa's biggest disappointment yet, lesbian men, Babygirl, admiring Pamela Anderson, avoiding talking about how politically fucked we are, movies JP has actually seen, Promising Young Women, intro level witchcraft, For the Kids segment.
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10
9: TWIN TELEPATHY FAIL
Trying to read each others minds, celebrity patrons that had us shook, defending yourself, bank accounts, Met Gala, overdicking it, Queen of TERFS, Art imitating reality, gay face, gay teeth, and hearing the gays set up the bar.
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9
8: WHITE PEOPLE DO BETTER
Ways to be better as a white person, Black Mirror with ads, prison camps & the rise of facism, the Cubbyhole Bar Phone, taking up space in a bad way, the deeply evil president, Coachella's supervillain owner, & playing two truths and a lie.
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8
7: BOO!
Prosecco ASMR, how people kiss in Brazil, male inpersonators, Masc Malea, buzzfeed quizzes, more movies JP hasn't seen, fear, special thanks to people we love, QAMP High School Musical April 27th
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7
6: GOT UTERUS?
Wanting a t-shirt from the stock market, checking your sources, Fuck Marry Kill, Teen Vogue, meat, talking to strangers, and a bunch of Uterus education to make Tiffany happy (Malea's mother)!
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6
5: OUR BLACKEST EPISODE YET
Censorship, tokenism, "looking straight", queer expression, a new advice segment called For the Kids, segregation, tankinis, queer books that aren't white, and fashion eggs .
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5
4: OUR WORST EPISODE YET
Regional differences at Staples nationwide, tv shows JP hasn't seen and will never watch, racist vampires, the podcast's declining quality, straight characters who really aren't, and raging cognitive dissonance.
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4
3: OUR FAVORITE HOMETOWN SLURS
Reading poetry drunk, getting to know each other for the very first time, finding common ground with conservatives, manifesting, presenting Amish, Reno 911, and not giving up on your dream of starting a band with JP.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/aavirall/quakeLicense code: MLRJFCGUQBHEUP2M
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3
2: I THREW UP IN AN UBER SHARE
Which Oscar-nominated film should get f*cked the most, celebrity hall passes, how easy it is to be a bartender, what we are allowed to say should happen to Elon Musk from a legal standpoint, and the Electoral College possibly potentially being The Academy.THANK YOU CHRISSY CHLAPECKA !Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/aavirall/quakeLicense code: MLRJFCGUQBHEUP2M
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2
1: GOD DID NOT WANT YOU TO HEAR THIS
How JP ended up in the back of a police car, beefing with a celesbian, being normal at the lesbian bar, and answering the age old question: can JP read?
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