Don't Come After Us

2026.- I have just returned from a visit to the cinema, the Emerald Fennel adaptation that I shall be troubled with. Disturbed by what I had seen, I asked my domestic podcast hosts to explain to me what I had witnessed, and this is what they told me:"It would be an act of pure idiotcy not to listen to this episode, because we're discussing one of the great literary classics, Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë. Listen to us ramble across the book's proverbial moors as we cover the characters' inscrutable names, Nelly's debatable reliability, and whether this book is indeed 'the greatest love story of all time'. Also listen in for noted James Joyce fan Jacob Elordi, yet another regrettable Twilight reference, and a brief but horrifying rendition of the Kate Bush song. Don't be saucy. Let us in (through your headphones), or we'll haunt you."After having listened, I know my slumber will be unquiet.

2026 is upon us! If you need some consolation for failing your New Year's resolutions, look no further than this episode, where Trish and Ish look back on 2025 through discussing some of the books they read that weren't featured on the pod. Whether you like women turning into plants, excessive references to Edgar Allan Poe, or modern plagues (literal and metaphorical), there's a little something here for everyone.

A book podcast, you say? Bah, humbug! Is there no BookTok? In our final episode of the year, Trish and Ish will try to warm your squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old heart as they discuss the Christmassiest book of all time, Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. You will be haunted by two hosts as they reference Episodes of Podcast Past, Pop Culture of Podcast Present, and Books of Podcast Yet to Come. Along the way, we visit the novella's influence on the Christmas genre, Scrooge's transformation from heartless miser to jolly old gent, and a rare sincere moment where your hosts view each other as fellow passengers to the grave. If you needed a sign to go fetch that prize turkey in the window (the one as big as you), this is it. If you listen to this episode on the way, we'll give you half a crown.

If you're feeling literally run off your feet by the holidays, wipe the snow off your goloshes and join us at the table as we give a toast to James Joyce's story "The Dead". Described as "one of the most powerful evocations of human loss and longing that the English language possesses", this crown jewel of the Dubliners collection might just be too sophisticated for our humble hosts. Nevertheless, like Gabriel Conroy, they talk at great length to an indifferent audience about Joycean jargon, stylistic sentences, ire-inducing Irishness, and the drifting descent of the dead. After listening, you'll rate the show 5 stars as if you enjoyed this episode.

It's Halloween again, and you know what that means: we're covering a horror story. Specifically, a cosmic horror story. And what better author to feature than Providence, Rhode Island's own H.P. Lovecraft and his seminal short story, "The Call of Cthulhu"? Search through our proverbial great-uncle's research notes with us as we uncover the hallmarks of Lovecraftian horror, debate the pronunciation of the titular character, and throw shade on the narrator for his literary snobbery. Hear us attempt to describe the indescribable in everyone's favourite tentacle-faced monstrosity, Big C. After listening, prepare for vivid nightmares where the geometry is "loathsomely redolent of spheres and dimensions apart from ours".And remember, with strange aeons even podcasts may die.

Dear Pursuers (that's what we decided our fans are called),In today's episode we cover what Wikipedia describes as a "science fiction fantasy LGBT epistolary novel". You guessed it - it is, of course: This Is How You Lose the Time War. Written by everyone's favourite iconic duo, equine accident survivor Max Gladstone and Canadian Content certified Ottawan Amal El-Mohtar, this is as Ish Majeed calls it our first "collabo book". Travel upthread with us as we discuss the novel's epistolary format, the impressionistic worldbuilding, and grand themes of love and war. Many thanks to bigolas dickolas wolfwood, without whom this episode would not exist. Burn after listening.Yours in podcasting perpetuity,Trish and IshPS Tristan sends her condolences for the unhinged dinosaur rant.

Last night I dreamt... you listened to Don't Come After Us again. It seemed to me that episode was the one where we covered Daphne du Maurier's 1938 classic: Rebecca. Trish and Ish discuss the book's skillful use of literary devices, the psychological and Freudian themes, and enduring cultural impact (even influencing such pop girlies as Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo). Also included: hot takes from the afterword of Tristan's edition and excessive details about du Maurier's grandfather. Tune in for a "ripping time".

Reasons why it's good to listen to this episode:It could help you through a breakup.It may or may not be popular on BookTok.Almost every millennial woman knows the name Dolly Alderton, according to mamamia.com at least.So obviously we had to cover one of her books. The book in question is none other than her 2023 novel about breakups and heartache: Good Material. Come for the relatable characters and modern setting; stay for the shockingly prescient predictions about a certain global pandemic and to find out the correct usage of the word "nonplussed". Finally, tune in till the end to determine whether this book is in fact good material.

Back by popular demand, it's another bonus episode! Maybe this one will crack 10 listens. This time we discuss some of the authors whose works we read as children and who helped to shape our young minds. Tune in to hear us mispronounce the names of several manga authors, exceed our mandated Canadian content quota, and inevitably make reference to a certain paranormal romance series that once more robs Tristan of her mental faculties. These authors all played a role in moulding us into the inimitable podcast hosts we are today.

Journeys end in lovers meeting. Hill House is not sane, and neither are we after reading this book. Of course, we're talking about the classic horror novel: The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson, a fitting choice for our first Hallowe'en special! This episode, Trish and Ish discuss the tragic psychological depths of Eleanor Vance, the unbearably glib dialogue, and which of our hosts got genuinely spooked while reading this book. Enter Hill House with us at your own risk, but just remember, Mrs. Dudley sets the table at ten.

From the "mother of fantasy", as Tristan erroneously calls Ursula K. Le Guin, comes the epic tale of one lad's transformation from twerp to chad (AKA Duny to Ged). This tale's True Name is A Wizard of Earthsea. Set sail with us as we discuss the Le Guin's unique outlook and approach to the fantasy genre, similarities to other books set in wizarding schools, and what it means to truly come of age. Oh, and in case you didn't know, the main character is brown.

Get your buckets ready, because this book will make you want to throw up several times. Of course, we're talking about Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things. At once disturbing yet beautiful, childlike yet extremely mature, and crude yet poetic, this book is a jumbled, chaotic tapestry of contradictions. Listen as our hosts discuss their evolving feelings towards the book's lyrical writing style, the sliding scale of deeply flawed characters, and Ish's obssession with traditional Indian dancing. Once you're through with this episode, prepare to leave a Listener-Shaped Hole in the Universe.

In this follow-up to our Heart of Darkness episode, we discuss a book written by its most notable critic: Chinua Achebe's Things Fall Apart. Join us as we discuss the protagonist Okonkwo's many flaws, as well as the story's "universal" themes. Specifically, we cover the individual vs. society, the effects of Christianity on traditional Igbo culture, and the fragility of a seemingly stable social order. Oh, and yams. So many yams.For those as eager for the author spotlight to end as Tristan was, analysis of the book starts at 1:02:00.

Look out WatchMojo! There's a new countdown list in town. What was supposed to be a brief "mini episode" turned into this: a 3-hour extravaganza in which Trish and Ish recount in painstaking detail their top 3 favourite authors (though what they mean by favourite is up for debate). The final reveal will shock you just as much as it shocked (and disturbed) one of our hosts.

Today we explore a book that has a very special place in the heart of one of our hosts: the Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro. Tune in to find out the striking similarities between our beloved Stevens and Ish, our briefest and most painful author spotlight to date, and our exploration of the story of a wasted life. Plus, banter of a calibre to make a repressed manservant jealous.

Join us on a journey into the darkest reaches of the human soul with the classic novella Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. Learn about the author's eventful life, the crucial historical context of Congolese history, and both of our personal histories with this book. As well, hear our thoughts on its ambiguous style, thought-provoking themes, and its more controversial aspects. Hopefully at the end of this episode you won't find yourself crying "the horror! the horror!", but you probably will.

In our second installment, we revisit a classic series from our childhood: the Hunger Games trilogy. Join us as we take a deep dive into the addictive readability of the Hunger Games, the pitfalls of Catching Fire, and the "delightful cynicism" of Mockingjay. What's more, hear our thoughts on every major character, our dissection of the surprisingly complex themes, and most importantly, find out if we're Team Peeta or Team Gale.

Join us on our first ever episode, where we discuss the beloved and iconic Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie. We go over the surprisingly spicy details of the author's biography, give our thoughts on the characters, the clues, crazy twist ending, and humour of the book, and discuss the place of Agatha Christie in the history of literature. Also discover why Agatha Christie was simultaneously the Leonardo DiCaprio, South Park, and Jerry Lewis of her time.