Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery

Thom’s Nutshell: Step 16: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of someone else. I can’t say I wasn’t warned. They told me to stop at 12. “Taking others’ inventory” gets to the heart of our functioning. Allen brings this back to Piaget’s studies of pre-operational stages of development. Our emotional development influences our consciousness, and the more immaturity we have, the more we look at the world as reflections of ourselves. Rather than trying to manipulate these people and situations, in emotional sobriety we can try to meet them with empathy to have the best experience we can. The outcome of “taking inventory” all depends on motive. Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com Visit our website: www.emotionalsobriety.info Follow us on social media: Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Thom’s Nutshell: "Live this moment as if you chose it. Might as well. And maybe you did." Give yourself permission to doubt. Give yourself permission to disagree. Give yourself permission to decide. Add more self! Reflecting on the emotional sobriety of Viktor Frankl and Christopher Reeve, and having the courage to credit your own point of view. In emotional sobriety we find the “positive opportunism” of paying attention to what Is, instead of what Isn’t. Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com Visit our website: www.emotionalsobriety.info Follow us on social media: Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments. Chapters (00:00:07) - Couple Therapy: The Next Step(00:02:29) - Live This Moment as If You Had a Choice(00:08:27) - What is sobriety?(00:08:52) - Give Yourself Permission to Decide(00:11:20) - Give Yourself Permission to Dissent(00:15:48) - Alan on His First Alcoholics' Trip(00:20:50) - Tom Hanks on Writing ''

Thom’s Nutshell: “So much energy we spend wishing things to be different.There are always better uses of our time.” Anxiety is consistent, persistent and disciplined. It wakes up first and works out every morning. To change we must be at least as disciplined. Joe C. talks about the many ways (often with the help of community) we medicate this condition. Allen digs into our relationship with Self, highlighting what we call the “intimate self,” in our navigation of anxiety. This all takes work! Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com  Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com Visit our website: www.emotionalsobriety.info Follow us on social media: Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments. Chapters (00:00:07) - Emotional Sobriety(00:03:13) - The Rock is the Thing(00:08:02) - The Importance of Emotional Sobriety(00:11:35) - Joe and What They Talk About in Recovery(00:13:55) - The Fear of Being Nothing(00:17:22) - Brandon on Codependence and the Intimate Self(00:23:50) - Living on an Airplane(00:28:10) - Having Reached a Spiritual Awakening

Thom’s Nutshell: “When you want something, do you begin with a commitment to make it happen or a list of reasons that it probably won't?" The mighty Carol Carter joins us again from the front of a different kind of recovery: triage from a flood which devastated her home. In our pursuit of emotional sobriety, integrity matters most. In adjusting our expectations to meet the moment, we can also “change our source of self-esteem”, to put us into congruency with our value system. Learn more about Jenny, the trauma-informed Certified Professional Organizer helping Carol sort through her belongings in the flood’s aftermath: https://www.sweetgrassorganizing.com . Anyone with a trauma related connection to clutter can find a resource to help. Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com Visit our website: www.emotionalsobriety.info Follow us on social media: Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments. Chapters (00:00:07) - Emotional Sobriety (Week 9)(00:01:21) - Rainbow Dance(00:02:16) - In the Elevator With Tom(00:06:21) - Tom Everett on Writing While Recovering(00:10:52) - I Got the Most Heartrending Call From My Friend Writing His(00:12:41) - Tom, What Is Integrity?(00:18:36) - How To Deal With a Hurt Person's Letter(00:23:29) - In the Elevator With a Trauma Victim(00:28:10) - Sometimes I Just Say What I Need to Say(00:28:56) - Carol in the Woods With the Flood

Thom’s Nutshell: “Life is a wonderful blessing, with many great disappointments. Can you see disappointment as a gift?” In emotional sobriety, we attempt to believe that we are here to learn from whatever we are given, which Thom calls “positive opportunism.” How can we use what disappoints us to become a better person? How can we use it to be productive? Acting “as if” this was the plan all along can help us through.  If we appreciate the true nature of things, we’re free from expectations about how they’re “supposed to” be. Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com Visit our website: www.emotionalsobriety.info Follow us on social media: Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments. Chapters (00:00:00) - Coming soon: Sobriety for Superman(00:01:01) - Enjoying the Feedback From Our Podcast(00:01:41) - Tom's nutshell for the week: Life is a Wonderful Blessing with(00:03:21) - Nothing in the Universe Happens By Mistake(00:08:53) - Exploring Emotional Sobriety(00:12:43) - Acceptance of Realities(00:17:36) - The Reef: How to Love Your Wife(00:23:10) - Lessons from Working With a Sick Brain(00:26:09) - Does Anyone Really Hate Himself?(00:26:38) - Tom on Disappointments(00:31:49) - Tom Cruise in '(00:32:18) - Jefferson Ross

Thom’s Nutshell: One of emotional sobriety's greatest challenges is for us to understand and accept our contribution to our own distress without becoming distracted by self-condemnation. Shame and humility are not the same thing. One of the first levels of self-acceptance is an utter refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with ourselves. When we take ownership over our own existence, there’s nowhere left to hide. In this episode, Allen and Thom touch on the notion of writing an apology letter to our bodies for the way we’ve disregarded them - a practice that will further our journey towards wholeness. Behind anger is pain. If we keep yelling about what’s bothering us, behind the rage are usually tears. In dealing with anger, we continue trying to live in the space between a stimulus and a response, which widens as we continue to practice emotional sobriety and maintain alignment with reality. Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com Visit our website: www.emotionalsobriety.info Follow us on social media: Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/ Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments. Chapters (00:00:07) - Emotional Sobriety: The Next Step in Recovery(00:03:31) - Responsibility for One's Life(00:09:59) - Tom Brokaw on His Own Body(00:13:47) - Separation and the Authentic Me(00:14:01) - Angry Feelings and Emotional Sobriety(00:17:18) - The Anger of Alcoholics(00:21:31) - The Anger of Relationships(00:26:01) - Alan on Being a Codependent

Thom’s Nutshell: Rigorous honesty begins at home. Joe C. joins us to discuss the ways relapse is experienced by the loved ones of the relapser, and how we can think about these distressing events differently. The universe isn’t guided by structure and order alone. There’s chaos as well. We have influence, but not control, and with emotional sobriety we can more clearly see that distinction. Thank you for listening to our podcast. Our music is provided by the great southern artist Jefferson Ross. Learn more about Jefferson at jeffersonross.com Visit our website: www.emotionalsobriety.info Follow us on social media: Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments. Chapters (00:00:00) - Emotional Sobriety(00:06:56) - In the Elevator With George Clooney(00:07:58) - What is Truth in Sobriety?(00:11:49) - Risk of Absurdity(00:14:56) - In the Elevator With an Alcoholic(00:17:17) - Al Anon on Rejection and Recovery(00:26:12) - Sam and Joe: Emotional Sobriety

Thom’s Nutshell: “You cannot work both sides of the serenity prayer. Choose. Commit.” Emotional sobriety is about moving forward. The key to unlocking long term recovery is learning to support ourselves internally by organizing our experience to deal with the struggle. To move through and out of relapse, we can’t collapse into a pile of “shoulds.” Relapse occurs for addicts when they haven’t accepted at an unconscious level that they are powerless. In acceptance we begin to take back our power. Our love and prayers go out to all victims of the wars raging across the entire world. Visit our website: www.emotionalsobriety.info Follow us on social media: Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments. Chapters (00:00:00) - Working the Serenity Prayer: The Next Step in Recovery(00:04:32) - A Couple's Humility in Recovery(00:09:44) - "Self-Esteem Is Not an All or None"(00:11:13) - How to Talk to Someone Who Relapsed(00:15:33) - The Recovery Decision(00:20:02) - What's the Cause of Early Recovery?(00:22:38) - Tom: Self-Love(00:28:03) - A shout out to our military personnel

Thom’s Nutshell Wisdom: “Practice conversations to convey rather than convince.” Healthy Conversation is “present-centered.” In a healthy conversation, we don’t need to know exactly what we’re trying to convey. With defenses down, we learn more. How much “we,” and how much “I” can we include in any relationship? How can we get on the same side of the problem? Anxiety is at the root of why we do this. We feel threatened so we feel a compulsion to manipulate someone into our point of view. The first step of dismantling this is awareness that its happening. Then we “befriend our experience,” which we derive from the work of Nathaniel Branden. Visit our website: www.emotionalsobriety.info Follow us on social media: Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments. Chapters (00:00:00) - Talking to Yourself(00:03:54) - John Ammodeo on Self-Acceptance(00:08:17) - Talking to Your Partner(00:12:03) - Getting On the Same Side of the Problem(00:18:20) - The Importance of Negotiation in a Mixed Relationship(00:21:10) - Tom Petty on His Relationship With Deedee(00:24:13) - I Had A Complaint About My AA Friend

Former guest and longtime friend John Amodeo joins Allen and Thom to advocate “gentle presence” 9 making ourselves available to the full range of what we’re experiencing in the moment, whether pleasure and pain. People are afraid of their emotions - “If I start crying, when will I stop?” The greater danger, in our experience, is the suppression of emotion. We also touch on processing failure and mistakes, cautioning against blame. When we get stuck in blame, we don’t learn and grow from our experiences. Buy John’s new book, The Power of Gentle Presence: Insights for Inner Peace & Deeper Relationships here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G1HLNFV5 Visit our website: www.emotionalsobriety.info Follow us on social media: Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments. Chapters (00:00:07) - Emotional Sobriety with Dr. John Ammodeo(00:01:21) - John Feist in Personal Growth(00:06:42) - Exploring Boundaries(00:11:32) - Boundaries of Personal Experience(00:15:33) - John on Self-Acceptance(00:20:36) - What is Healthy Shame?(00:21:47) - The Importance of Gentle Presence(00:26:31) - Goodbye, Emotional Sobriety(00:27:33) - John and Alan on The Three Pillars of Love(00:32:01) - Emotional Sobriety and Relationships

Thom checks back in after a long period of freezing weather and system crash in Tennessee, Allen gets honest after recent familial struggles. What makes it difficult for us to own our bad behavior? This week is emotional sobriety through fear and wreckage, demanding cleanup. Thom's Nutshell: Can you describe how you think as well as you can describe what you think?" "In The Daily Stoic, Ryan Holiday offers a question that is simple and profound: "Am I in control of this or is this anxiety?" - anxiety being the tell-tale sign that we feel the need to control what we cannot. When I am experiencing anxiety, then I am wasting valuable energy focusing on what I do not and cannot control. Once I recognize that I am doing this, I shift all of my focus on levitating that chair h with my mind. This is a good example of focusing on PROCESS rather than CONTENT. Focusing on HOW I am thinking rather than WHAT I am thinking. These kinds of changes must be radical in order to be effective. You know, simple but far from easy. (And if you move the chair, please let me know.) Follow us on social media. Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Thom’s Nutshell: "How much of what you believe do you really believe?" Allen and Patrick review a recent Slate article about Emotional Sobriety and push back on some of its premises. Emotional Sobriety isn’t just about taking care of ourselves, it’s about dismantling expectations and developing an entirely new way of living. It offers not just inner peace, but true freedom. The article: “I Quit Drinking. It’s Great. There’s Just One Small Problem.” https://slate.com/advice/2025/08/drinking-alcoholism-emotional-sobriety-dry-drunk-advice.html Follow us on social media. Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

On clarity, which comes with emotional sobriety: an antidote to impulsivity, rumination, indecision and procrastination. Thom’s nutshell wisdom: Your ego has one value system, your spirit another. Beware of identifying with one and acting from the other. We all experience this. It is the source of our deepest hypocrisy. This is the human struggle: personally and globally. Our hearts go out to the people of Minneapolis. Follow us on social media. Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

"I didn't have a choice." You're selling yourself short. Or you mean, the choice seemed obvious to you. But still, you made the choice. Or - you are making an excuse, ducking responsibility, for a poor choice that you made. Because... We always have choices. Even not making a choice is a choice. Follow us on social media. Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin workshops: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/events   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Today’s Nutshell Wisdom: The big difference between passing judgment and exercising judgment: One focuses attention on something I do not control. The other focuses on precisely what I do control. Today we’re back to the serenity prayer and describing what emotional sobriety’s “discovery of new possibilities” could practically mean. Follow us on social media. Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Joe C. quotes Joseph Campbell: “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Thom’s nutshell for today: “Measure your progress in units of willingness instead of willpower, with degrees of self-acceptance rather than change." Allen, Thom, Joe and Patrick each talk about how their understanding of emotional sobriety has evolved over the past year, looking ahead to 2026. Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Follow us on social media. Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

For this week’s nutshell, prioritizing comfort will eventually make us very uncomfortable. We talk amends and pull some wisdom from Arthur Schopenhaur (via Joe C.’s “Beyond Belief”). Sending love and emotional sobriety to you all this holiday. We’ll be back for one more in 2025. Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Follow us on social media. Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

On learning from our mistakes. Whether or not the mistake results in an immediate change in our behavior, learning is always taking place if we can get out of our own way. Thom and Allen advise staying with our heartbreak (or other forms of grief), feeling it without being stuck in it. Notice when we are “offended by reality.” There’s an opportunity there to de-personalize the pain, and thereby survive. Nutshell of the Day: "Sometimes it just doesn't get done." Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Follow us on social media. Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments. Emotional Sobriety, Allen Berger, Thom Rutledge, Patrick Newman, Recovery, Learning from Mistakes, Sobriety, AA, Gestalt

Nutshell of the Day: “Even introverts need connection and support. Solitude is vital. Isolation is deadly.” On the eve of Joe C.’s sober birthday, he drops by to talk about managing expectations, staying sane and emotionally sober during Thanksgiving. Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Carol Carter returns to the show as we try a more focused format and talk change, not taking things personally, and understanding our capacity to accomplish more and weather bigger storms than we ever thought possible.   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Melanie Gulde returns to the podcast to talk with Allen and Thom about the progress and promise of Divided Sky in Vermont, which isn’t a rehab but a residential recovery retreat, reasonably priced. She discusses meeting Phish’s Trey Anastasio, who worked with her in recovery to form the center’s curriculum, which lists “Emotional Sobriety 101” as a foundational text.   More about Divided Sky: https://dividedsky.org   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

“...the pain that comes from loving someone who's in trouble can be profound.” ― Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself   Joe’s “Beyond Belief” book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Belief-reflection-nonbelievers-freethinkers/dp/0988115700   See guest Michael Harney’s play, “Danny Boy” still showing in Los Angeles: https://www.onstage411.com/newsite/show/play_info.asp?show_id=7432   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Joe, Thom, and Patrick talk Marcus Aurelius, read a daily reflection from Joe’s “Beyond Belief,” and consider the uncomfortable necessity of staying in the center of the herd. We also talk about making a difference and keeping the candle of hope burning during our particularly brutal and unjust time.   Joe’s “Beyond Belief” book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Belief-reflection-nonbelievers-freethinkers/dp/0988115700   See last week guest Michael Harney’s play, “Danny Boy” still showing in Los Angeles: https://www.onstage411.com/newsite/show/play_info.asp?show_id=7432   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Actor, writer and director Michael J. Harney (NYPD Blue, Deadwood, True Detective) joins Thom and Allen to talk about his evolving spirituality and journey to recovery, his experience directing his new play “Danny Boy,” his friendship with the legendary David Milch, and how emotional sobriety has shown up for him over the years in his relationships with others and his Muse.   See Michael’s play, “Danny Boy” now showing in Los Angeles: https://www.onstage411.com/newsite/show/play_info.asp?show_id=7432   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Joe C. joins Allen and Patrick to introduce what will be a series of episodes discussing how emotional sobriety can improve our sexual relationships, building genuine intimacy with partners. Finding ways to connect authentically, standing for ourselves without erasing our partners, and showing up for our partners without erasing ourselves.   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Joe’s “Beyond Belief” book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Belief-reflection-nonbelievers-freethinkers/dp/0988115700   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Clinical trauma specialist and author of Trauma and the 12 Steps Jamie+ Marich, Ph.D., LPCC-S, REAT joins Allen and Thom this week to talk about her body of work, field of study and pursuit of emotional sobriety. We pay special attention to the trauma surrounding loss, since all trauma work involves grief work. Learn more about Dr. Marich: www.redefinetherapy.com www.instituteforcreativemindfulness.com www.jamiemarich.com Virtual book tours: www.redefinetherapy.com Instagram: drjamiem TikTok: traumatherapistrants Now available for pre-order: Queering EMDR Therapy (September 2025)   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Joe’s “Beyond Belief” book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Belief-reflection-nonbelievers-freethinkers/dp/0988115700   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):  https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Thom, Joe, and Patrick read from the Beyond Belief daily reflections about where emotional sobriety can come in when we’re struggling to tolerate opposing beliefs and challenging personalities. Emotional sobriety requires not only respect for ourselves, but respect for others.   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Joe’s “Beyond Belief” book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Belief-reflection-nonbelievers-freethinkers/dp/0988115700   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Joe Chisholm returns to discuss helping others through suggestion, not “expertise.” Emotional sobriety can help us escape a “victim mentality” we must shed to become the best version of ourselves. We use the term “victim” delicately, taking into account genuine sufferers of abuse and victimization. Whether one hour or twenty years sober, we’re all engaging with the same work and the same pursuit of emotional freedom.   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Joe’s “Beyond Belief” book: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Belief-reflection-nonbelievers-freethinkers/dp/0988115700   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Thom and Allen discuss pursuing emotional sobriety once we become aware of our “unconscious incompetence.” In practicing anything until it becomes innate and automatic, the path begins (as so much of what we do), in acceptance. We return to the serenity prayer.   Patrick’s “Outside Issues” podcast, about the intersection of recovery and social justice: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com    Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Having recently celebrated 40 years of continuous sobriety, Bill Cleveland, a pillar in a multitude of recovery fellowships (namely Hermosa Beach Men’s Stag) discusses with Allen alcoholism as an analogue for emotional immaturity, AA as something we “get” to do rather than something we “have” to do, “second first steps,” the importance of amends and working with others.   If you’re in recovery or mental health spaces and interested in politics and social justice, Patrick has a new weekly podcast about the intersection of just those things! “Outside Issues” with Audrey and Patrick: https://www.youtube.com/@outsideissuespodcast https://pod.link/1826305552   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Superfriend Carol Carter returns to talk about a recent breakthrough in self-love, a welcome reminder that Emotional Sobriety is above all else a discovery of new possibilities.   Carol is accepting clients for executive and professional coaching, and can be contacted here: [email protected]   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

We respond to criticisms leveled at a recent workshop: is Emotional Sobriety somehow alternative, even interruptive, of a faithful rigorous 12 Step program, or is it a complement to it? As always we try to get to the feeling beneath the compulsion, the “stuckness” that prevents us from reaching that fourth dimension. Allen, Thom, and Joe C. wore out their big books in their early days, but still keep them close. Recovery is an “all hands on deck” process.   Join Thom for Why Inner Child Work Matters: A Foundation for Self-Care in Recovery Saturday • July 26, 2025 10:00 am - 1:00 pm Central To register, send an email to [email protected]    Join Allen, Thom, and Joe C. on Zoom at the “Growing in Understanding” group this Friday, July 25th @ 2pm PST: ID: 875 319 1947 Password: 2GROWIN   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Carol Carter returns to the show to talk about letting go of her resentments towards her ex-husband. By freeing him, she freed herself. Many of us first veered off course in our largely unconscious emotional dependencies, creating a powerlessness and unmanageability on par with any other addiction. In emotional sobriety we learn to hold onto ourselves, in good times or bad.   Carol is accepting clients for executive and professional coaching, and can be contacted here: [email protected]   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Joe C. joins Patrick and Thom to chat about mutual aid versus self-help: how collectivism can feed our emotional sobriety. When we give ourselves to fellowship and sharing, we’re gaining something as much as we’re giving it away. The origin of AA itself can be attributed to this concept. Register for what’s sure to be lively: the 2025 International Convention of Alcoholics Anonymous, which begins tomorrow on July 3rd and extends through July 6th: https://www.aa.org/international-convention   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Joe Chisholm checks back in. We read a passage from his daily reflections book and he brings to our attention “Living Sober,” which was written more than 40 years after the AA Big Book was published. When those recovering were asked “what were the reasons you drank?,” they often said they used it to express their anger. Today we search for new mediums to express our emotions.   As Allen likes to remind us, we’re stuck, not sick. In the space between a stimulus and a response we try to lean into the pause and listen to our second voice. Emotional sobriety lies therein.   We can also do a brief check in with the audience about recent controversy over our political opinions.   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

This week we talk about taking better lessons from our mistakes. In finding our emotional center of gravity, recognizing we’re sick rather than stuck, we try to trust the process instead of controlling the outcome.   To participate in Thom’s Inner Child Workshop on Saturday, June 21st @ 10am CST, email him here: [email protected]    Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Allen, Thom, and Patrick discuss the recent political upheaval and encroaching fascism of Trump and ICE. Allen relates the tension between our obligations to society and commitment to ourselves to a quote from Eric Fromme. Emotional sobriety is found in adapting, but not at the expense of becoming.   Then, Patrick talks to artist, organizer, and person in recovery Elizabeth Medrano. A shared impulse towards emotional sobriety, social justice, and their fellows are all part of the same continuum.   To participate in Thom’s Inner Child Workshop on Saturday, June 21st @ 10am CST, email him here: [email protected]    Consider donating to CHIRLA: https://www.instagram.com/chirla_org?igsh=NjVhODU3cGF3NWxw   Also LATACO: https://www.instagram.com/lataco?igsh=MW5vaXMydHllcGVwYQ   Loyola Immigrant Justice Clinic: https://www.lls.edu/academics/experientiallearning/clinics/loyolaimmigrantjusticeclinic/   Attend the “NO KINGS” protest: https://www.nokings.org/   From “The New Colossus” "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" Emma Lazarus November 2, 1883   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Samantha was a psychologist before she found recovery, and her experience with the 12 Steps is just one touchstone in her evolving relationship to life in pursuit of greater emotional sobriety. This week she chats with Allen and Thom about her recent experience at Recovery Reimagined in Dublin, what we mean by “Recovery Capital”, and her new book.   Samantha’s book Channels of Peace HERE   To participate in Thom’s Inner Child Workshop on Saturday, June 21st @ 10am CST, email him here: [email protected]   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Having returned from the second annual Recovery Reimagined conference in Dublin, Patrick reflects on the passing of a longtime sober friend who took his own life. Allen and Thom offer their own professional and personal experiences with suicide, depression and “anti-self”, which maximizes our life’s problems while minimizing the resources we have to deal with them.   To participate in Thom’s Inner Child Workshop on Saturday, June 21st @ 10am CST, email him here: [email protected]   Some of R.T. Castleberry’s poetry: https://mockingheartreview.com/archives/volume-5-issue-1/poems-to-start-the-decade/r-t-castleberry/   https://writingdisorder.com/r-t-castleberry-poetry-2/   The closing song “No Other Choice to Choose” is by Herman Kluge & Paul Boedeker from Society of Little Friends   From our last episode, Carl Erik Fisher’s Flourishing After Addiction podcast: https://pod.link/1581713114   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Allen, Thom, and Patrick welcome addiction psychiatrist Carl Erik Fisher of Columbia University to discuss emotional sobriety. In the pursuit of “making sense of what happened to him” after his addiction hit a point of critical mass and he decided to seek help, Dr. Fisher wrote The Urge: Our History of Addiction and began regular episodes of the Flourishing After Addiction podcast to look for answers. How did we get here, how are we recovering, and how can we carry a message of education and hope?   Our relationship to community, to Self, and to our own self-esteem are dynamics which must evolve for us to find that “quiet place in bright sunshine” Bill mentions in his 1958 letter.   Learn more about Dr. Fisher on his website: https://www.carlerikfisher.com   His podcast, Flourishing After Addiction: https://pod.link/1581713114   Allen and Patrick will be in Dublin for the Recovery Reimagined conference next week, which can be attended virtually or in person: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/recovery-reimagined-2025   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

When we try to wrestle security from life, we often get pinned. Joe Chisholm offers us this:   Dee Hock (1929-2022) wrote:    “Life is not about control; it is not about getting; it is not about having or knowing. It is not even about being. Life is eternal, perpetual becoming, or it is nothing. Becoming is not a thing to be known, commanded, or controlled. It is a magnificent, mysterious odyssey to be experienced.”   Near the end of Twelve Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety, it captures the same becoming (the journey) vs. the outcome (controlling):  "Emotional stability is achieved in our lives by becoming aware of our toxic beliefs and unenforceable rules, the ideas that make our emotional balance dependent on external conditions....  Once we become aware of these unenforceable rules, we must surrender them. We need to move toward an attitude of “I am okay even if this or that happens,” and away from the idea that “I am okay only if this happens or that happens.” This is emotional freedom. This freedom brings more stability to our canoe; we might even dance in it if we wish!"   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Patrick and Allen will be attending Friendly Circle Berlin's "Recovery Reimagined" event in Dublin, more info here: https://friendlycircleberlin.org/recovery-reimagined-2025   Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/   Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read Bill Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well chapter-by-chapter here: 11.00am East Coast / 4.00pm U.K. ID: 875 319 1947 Password: 2GROWIN   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.  

Frequent collaborator and fellow recoverer Julia Heidmann stops by to talk about the role emotional sobriety has played in her relationships with others and herself.   From our friends in Canada:   “Inukshuk, pronounced (in-ook-shook), is a stone monument erected in the image of humans. One of its purposes was to serve as direction markers in the harsh and desolate Arctic. It was a tool of survival and a symbol of unselfish acts of the Inuit people.   The Inukshuk symbolizes co-operation, balance and unselfishness: the idea that teaching and group effect is greater than individual effort. Each stone is a separate entity, yet each supports and is supported by the one above and the one below it. No one piece is any more or any less important than the other.   Its strength lies in its unity. Its significance comes from its meaning as a whole. The Inukshuk reminds us of our interdependent responsibilities to invest our efforts today, to direct a better way for all of us tomorrow.”   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/   Allen and Patrick will soon be visiting Dublin, for Friendly Circle Berlin's "Recovery Reimagined 2025", details below:   https://friendlycircleberlin.org/recovery-reimagined-2025    Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Allen, Thom, and Patrick discuss the overwhelm that often occurs as we return to health, and in so doing take on more challenges in our day to day lives. How do we maintain that sense of balance and proportion without steering into paralysis or unhealthy perfectionism?   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/   Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read Bill Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well chapter-by-chapter here: 11.00am East Coast / 4.00pm U.K. ID: 875 319 1947 Password: 2GROWIN   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Roger Andes returns after a period of recovery to talk with Thom and Patrick about forming a new relationship with our life’s challenges, including awareness of our own mortality.   Roger holds B.A. and M.A. psychology degrees, and has worked as a personal growth consultant teaching transformative personal growth skills to individuals and groups for over 50 years. He helps his clients learn to let go of self-judgment and develop greater self-compassion and self-acceptance. He also specializes in teaching his clients how to be more aware of their emotions, the relationship between their emotions and their body, and to effectively express and manage their emotions.   He has been a certified teacher of body/emotion awareness work since 1975, and studied methods for building self-esteem and self-acceptance with psychotherapist and self-esteem theorist Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D. Roger has also worked closely with clinical psychologist Allen Berger, Ph.D. since 1985, and cofacilitates a training program in Gestalt Experiential Therapy with Dr. Berger. Roger has conducted personal growth workshops in the U.S., Canada, Europe, and Australia.    To learn more about Roger and his work, he can be contacted by email at [email protected].   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/   Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read Bill Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well chapter-by-chapter here: 11.00am East Coast / 4.00pm U.K. ID: 875 319 1947 Password: 2GROWIN   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patri...

Joe C. brings an existential framework to the discussion, which dredges up Patrick’s recent brushes with mortality and Allen’s titanic wrestling with the loss of his father at a young age.   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/   Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read Bill Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well chapter-by-chapter here: 11.00am East Coast / 4.00pm U.K. ID: 875 319 1947 Password: 2GROWIN   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Acceptance of what is sets us on the road to change. While acceptance of powerlessness over alcohol, our dependencies, or lack of emotional sobriety can feel like a form of defeat, like the end of the story, experience tells us that it's only the beginning.  Patrick, Allen and Thom speak to the acute resistance newcomers have towards the notion of powerlessness. What we're trying to do in early recovery is change the way we’re functioning from the bottom up - no easy task!   Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/ Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read Bill Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well chapter-by-chapter here: 11.00am East Coast / 4.00pm U.K. ID: 875 319 1947 Password: 2GROWIN   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Waiting for the other shoe to drop truly puts our ability to regulate to the test, as it reminds us how little we control, and how much of our strength derives from our environments rather than ourselves. The goal of emotional sobriety is to invert that paradigm.   Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read Bill Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well chapter-by-chapter here: 11.00am East Coast / 4.00pm U.K. ID: 875 319 1947 Password: 2GROWIN   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

In filing our claims with reality’s “complaint department,” we discover new ways of getting in touch with our disturbances, big and small, in order to free ourselves from unhealthy dependencies. We read some Eckhart Tolle and make fun of DOGE.   Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read Bill Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well chapter-by-chapter here: 11.00am East Coast / 4.00pm U.K. ID: 875 319 1947 Password: 2GROWIN   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

Joe C. and the crew discuss their emerging conception of living responsibly with emotional sobriety. Ultimately, this depends greatly on our connection with others and our willingness to live authentically.   Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read Bill Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well chapter-by-chapter here: 11.00am East Coast / 4.00pm U.K. ID: 875 319 1947 Password: 2GROWIN   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.

A quick one this week. Allen, Thom, and Patrick discuss holding onto ourselves when our relationships are in distress, fear of losing loved ones, and difficulty crying.   Upcoming events with Allen Berger: https://abphd.com/events/   Learn more about Joe C., Secular AA and Rebellion Dogs here: https://rebelliondogspublishing.com/   Join an ongoing Zoom meeting wherein participants read Bill Schaberg’s 30 Things: Practical Advice for Living Well chapter-by-chapter here: 11.00am East Coast / 4.00pm U.K. ID: 875 319 1947 Password: 2GROWIN   Follow us on social media. Podcast Twitter: @EmSobrietyPod Instagram: thomrutledge2 Joe C. Twitter: @Rebellion_Dogs   Friendly Circle Berlin Workshop Group meets every Monday @ 7:30pm (Berlin), 6:30pm (Ireland & UK), 1:30pm EST, 10:30am PST Zoom Link:  https://us02web.zoom.us/j/5505019905   Allen’s book, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: https://www.amazon.com/12-Essential-Insights-Emotional-Sobriety/dp/1955415129/   Join Allen & Thom at our Thursday night, 7pm PST Zoom meeting on Emotional Sobriety and the Steps (login information below):   https://zoom.us/j/330149513 Password: 375986   For our ongoing workshop video series on Emotional Sobriety and the 12 Steps, visit our YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHEM2-kqLkfp3I4c0jy-X-g   Also, please join our “Emotional Sobriety and Recovery” FB Group at the following link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/120450976662519 We’d love to stay in touch in between meetings.   We appreciate feedback! Contact Patrick, our producer, at [email protected] for any questions or comments.