Evolutionary Men

In this episode I sit down with Keith Martin-Smith, an award-winning author, Zen priest, martial artist, and one of my oldest, dearest friends. We've been sitting in circle together for almost 20 years.Keith grew up in a working-class Irish Catholic family on the East Coast, where his father never shed a tear his entire life and shutting down was just what men did. We get into how he came out of that conditioning, what 20 years of Zen and men's work has transmitted to him, and why the most elite warriors on the planet are also the most sensitive men in the room.A few things we get into:Why most men are reacting to their lives instead of respondingThe difference between being seen and being knownWhat a real men's group does that therapy structurally can'tWhy it's important for nice guys to feel their angerIf you've ever wondered what men's work actually is beyond the caricature, this is a solid place to start.Learn more about KeithAttend the Strength with Heart Masterclass June 7th, 2026Curious which of the 9 masculine archetypes you embody and your strengths and edges as a man?Discovery your type and take the free assessment at quiz.evolutionary.men.

In this episode I talk about freeze, the response in men that hides in plain sight. Fight gets respect. Flight at least looks like movement. Freeze just looks like you vanished, and most of the time nobody even clocks it, including you. Plus on top of that a lot of men get praised for being steady when what's actually happening inside them is immobilization.I've lived inside this one for most of my life, in the conversations that mattered, the choices I couldn't make, the moments I needed to show up and couldn't find my way there. In this one I get into what's actually happening in your body when you freeze up, why the pattern runs so deep, how to head it off at the pass when possible, and what happens when you do really freeze and can't get yourself out of it.Curious which of the 9 masculine archetypes you embody?Take the free assessment at quiz.evolutionary.men.

In this episode I bring on Benjamin Roth and Jeff Raab to explore how improv and theater work can help men get out of their heads and into their bodies. We talk about the courage it takes to make bold choices without overthinking, how to stay present when you cant control the outcome, and why developing comfort with failure might be one of the most important masculine capacities for navigating life and relationships.Join the online workshop Sunday March 29th at 1pm Pacific.Register at https://evolutionary.men/improvThe GuestsBenjamin Roth participated in the first cohort of Evolutionary Men’s Pillars of Presence. He is part of the main faculty at the LA-based improv studio Improv for the People, where he has taught for 8 years. He is passionate about combining his improv background with years of practice in mindfulness, embodiment and authentic relating to support others in cultivating their unique personal expression to have better relationships with themselves and with others. Jeff Raab completed the Heart of Shadow program in 2025. He is a theater artist and educator, performing professionally all over the country and teaching theater students of all ages. He is a certified Miller Voice Method teacher, and teaches Voice and Diction in the Theater Department at Southern Connecticut State University. He holds an MFA in Classical Acting, trained Clown and Commedia dell’Arte at the Dell’Arte School of Physical Theatre, and is certified in energy healing practices including Shamanism and Reiki. Everything he does is ultimately in service of activating creativity and empowering authenticity. www.jeffreymichaelraab.com.

After more than 3 years and 7 cohorts of The Heart of Shadow program and retreat for men, Luke and I are thrilled to be teaming up with my wife Violet to bring the experience to women.Many of the men that work with us ask how they can support their partners and the women in their life, and we're thrilled to say we think The Heart of Shadow for Women is one of those ways!The three of us talk about shadow work and the many ways its the same for men and women, and the many ways it's different!Learn more about the Heart of Shadow for Women at https://heartofshadow.com/women

In this episode I bring on my friend and practicing couples therapist Ryan Ginn to break down what separates great couples therapy from a waste of your time and money. If you've ever felt like you and your partner were just venting to a silent witness every session, or you're trying to figure out where to even start looking for the right fit, this one's for you.Ryan and I get into the leadership quality you want from a therapist, why nervous system training matters way more than just talking about your problems, and how to know when it's time to find someone new. We also cover the trap of litigating the past, what it means to actually train your relational capacity in session, and the willingness both partners need to bring for any of it to work.Learn more about Ryan at https://ryanginn.com and https://www.beingmen.net/Lead your relationship with more depth in my Pillars of Presence programReconnect, Repair, and Reignite your relationship at via 12 Epic Dates and Evolutionary Couples

In this episode I'm joined by Dr. Luke Adler, my co-facilitator in the Heart of Shadow program, to dive into shadow work for one of the most common struggles I see in men: knowing what you feel but not being able to say it. That chasm between awareness and expression, between what's happening inside and actually moving sound through your body and into a conversation. We break down why so many of us freeze when it matters most and what's actually underneath that freeze.We explore the origin stories of why our nervous systems learned to lock things up in the first place, the difference between vulnerability and transparency, and why a men's group is often the only place where you can finally practice bringing yourself forward in a way that actually sticks. If you've ever had words stuck in your throat with a partner, struggled to have a hard conversation, or just felt like something is blocked between what you know and what you can say, this one's for you.Join the next Heart of Shadow cohort at https://heartofshadow.com

In this episode I'm joined by Dr. Luke Adler to explore how shadow work can transform your sex life. We dig into why so many men use ejaculation as their primary emotional release tool and what happens when sex becomes responsible for making us feel better. We unpack the connection between safety, relaxation, and arousal, and why performance anxiety often stems from deeper places we don't want to look at. We also explore what shifts when sex becomes an expression of connection rather than a destination to escape to. If you've ever wondered why "better sex" isn't about technique, this one's for you.Shadow work creates the capacity to feel more, stay present, and stop using sex to discharge what we haven't learned to process. When we release our partners from the burden of managing our emotional lives, something opens up. And when we have a group of men to hold our vulnerability, we stop needing our intimate relationships to do all that work. The path to better sex runs through your gut, your heart, and the shadows you've been avoiding.Join the next Heart of Shadow cohort at heartofshadow.comWatch on Youtube

In this episode my wife Violet and I break down why your relationship can’t always be sunny and perfect—and why that’s actually a good thing. We walk through the four seasons of relationships and the reality of how different parts of your partnership can be in completely different seasons at the same time. Your sex life might be in spring while your emotional connection is in winter, and not knowing that can keep you confused about what’s actually going wrong.If you’ve ever wondered why the spark faded or why connection feels harder than it used to, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening—and what to do about it before you lose years to autopilot.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Join our free connection date night for couples at https://evolutionarycouples.us/evolutionofusLearn more about our programs Evolutionary Couples and 12 Epic Dates at https://evolutionarycouples.us

In this episode Luke and I dive into the shadow of worry and rumination that keeps so many men trapped in their heads. We break down why living from the shoulders up isn't strength, it's avoidance. You'll hear about the subtle ways fear masquerades as logic, how productivity can become procrastination, and why jacking off might be your nervous system's go-to discharge pattern. We get into the real work of traversing from your head to your heart to your guts, and why community isn't optional for this journey.Find out about the next Heart of Shadow Men's Group and retreat at https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow

In this episode my wife Violet and I share the five scariest moments in our relationship. These weren't just hard conversations or minor disagreements, but the moments where both of us genuinely questioned whether we'd make it, whether we'd chosen the right partner, or whether we were trapped in patterns we couldn't escape. We get specific about what actually happened, the deep fears underneath each crisis, and the exact moves that allowed us to work through the terror instead of letting it end things.If you've ever had that gut-punch moment in your relationship where you think "is this it, is this over?" then listen in! Every long-term couple hits these inflection points where fear can either derail everything or become the catalyst for deeper trust and connection. Tune in to learn how we did it, what we'd do differently, and why these scary moments became some of the most important turning points in building a relationship that actually works.Join our FREE CONNECTION DATE NIGHT for couples at https://evolutionarycouples.us/evolutionofusGo on 12 Epic Dates and/or do the Evolutionary Couples program at https://evolutionarycouples.us

In this episode I explore why so many good men still feel a quiet emptiness even when life looks full. We get into what’s really underneath the loneliness men carry today, and how brotherhood, real connection with men who both see you and call you higher, brings life back into your system.This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about remembering what makes you come alive again.Join a men's group at https://mens.group now

In this episode I sit down with Karen McMahon, a high-conflict divorce strategist who's been guiding men and women through one of the most painful transitions of their lives since 2010. Karen specializes in working with nice guys who are stuck in volatile marriages, paralyzed by guilt about leaving their kids or fear that their partner will harm themselves if they go.We dig into why staying in an unhealthy marriage actually teaches your kids that conflict and disconnection are what intimate love looks like, how the legal system often fails men, and the specific inner work that's required to navigate divorce without losing yourself in the process. Karen breaks down the difference between codependent caretaking and healthy boundaries, why so many men struggle with receiving, and how breaking generational chains starts with you doing your healing work now.Learn more about Karen's offerings at Journey Beyond DivorceJoin a Men's Group:Men's Group ExperiencePillars of PresenceThe Heart of Shadow

In this episode I break down one of the most powerful investments you can make in yourself as a man: your social capital. Most men grind through life alone, trying to figure everything out by themselves, and it's killing us. The antidote is simple but countercultural: a men's group, a circle of guys you meet with regularly who actually give a shit about you and your life.I introduce the metaphor of shock absorbers to explain what this kind of community actually does for you when life gets rocky. Tune in to learn why the sooner you start building these relationships the bigger the dividends over time, and why this type of connection is something that can never be bought, only built.Want support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout mens.group or heartofshadow.comLike the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at evolutionary.men/discuss

In this episode, Luke and I dive into what's really behind male depression. We explore why the things men typically do to feel better often make the stuckness worse, and then reveal the powerful connection between depression and unexpressed anger. Luke goes deeper and breaks down the physiology of depression from a Chinese medicine perspective setting the stage for how shadow work in men's groups can be a powerful medicine for metabolizing depression.Join the next Heart of Shadow Men's Group and Retreat at heartofshadow.com

In this episode I dive into the hidden roots of nice guy syndrome along with my Heart of Shadow co-facilitator Dr. Luke Adler. We explore how being a "nice guy" is actually one of six primitive nervous system survival responses rooted in fear of losing connection. Luke and I share vulnerable stories about how this shows up and why shadow work is the real pathway out.We break down why cognitive strategies aren't enough and how the consistent presence of loving masculine energy through men's groups becomes the medicine that allows nice guys to drop the people-pleasing patterns and reclaim their authentic power.Break free from your nice guy syndrome and join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group and Retreat (https://heartofshadow.com)Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community (https://evolutionary.men/discuss)

In this episode I break down the three types of disconnection that are crushing men right now and leading to depression, stuckness, and a sense that something's just off in life. I walk through what each of these disconnections looks like, why they're so common, and most importantly, what men can actually do to reconnect and start feeling alive again.If you're feeling stuck, depressed, or like you're just going through the motions, this episode will help you figure out what's really going on and give you a clear path forward.Get Connected to self, other, and nature at the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat (https://evolutionary.men/retreat/)Join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group and Retreat (https://heartofshadow.com)Join the virtual Men's Group Experience 12 week men's group (https://mens.group)Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community (https://evolutionary.men/discuss)

In this episode I chat with naturalist and poet Roy Arthur Blodgett to face what men inherit: numbness, isolation, and a grim overculture of masculinity. We get into men and land, how the wild helped Roy feel most himself, and what shifts when we stop spectating and start participating. We talk land literacy, seeing patterns of succession, the fear of causing harm that keeps men frozen, and the power of choosing responsibility anyway.Follow Roy at www.royarthurblodgett.comJoin me and Roy and get your hands dirty with some land work at the next Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/retreat/Then face the shadows of your lineage in the next Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow/

In this episode, I get personal and share about my top 16 moments that I've gotten to experience that's to men's work, all stemming from men's groups, retreats, and community (and in no particular order).These are all experiences that have enriched my life beyond measure, and were all possible because of the depth of connection I've cultivated with incredible men in my life.Start building your band of brothers and come to the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/retreatThen go even deeper with the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow

In this episode, Luke and I explore the complex narratives surrounding masculinity, particularly the idea of victimhood among men. We dig into the cultural reflections of masculinity, the evolution of men's roles, and the importance of shadow work in reclaiming agency and responsibility from the oh so alluring victim masculinity being sold these days.Join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at heartofshadow.comAttend the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat at evolutionary.men/retreat

In this episode, I dive into what I believe is the new standard for powerful men: taking responsibility for our pain. Whether it’s personal, ancestral, or collective, owning our wounds is what separates conscious men from those stuck in blame or avoidance. I explore how trauma lives in the nervous system, how patterns are passed down through generations, and why the work of healing, though uncomfortable, is ultimately the path to true power, presence, and leadership. 

In this episode, I sit down with my longtime brother and mentor Ted Riter for a conversation that goes straight into the heart of sacred masculinity, grief, and transformation. Ted is a former rabbi turned spiritual guide and relationship coach who brings over 30 years of wisdom into the space of men’s work, intimacy, and embodiment.We explore how a collapse in his life led him to the very work he now teaches—how grief, shame, and mistrust of men became gateways into deeper integrity, love, and purpose. Ted shares how his lineage ultimately became a foundation for the spiritual and relational depth he offers today. We also chat about the sacredness of men’s circles, the difference between nice and loving challenge, and why decentralization and shared responsibility are the future of men’s groups.Connect with Ted:Website: tedriter.comInstagram: @tedridertalksGET INVOLVED WITH EVOLUTIONARY MENJoin our LIVE retreat: August 28th – September 1st in Northern California. You’ll walk away deeply embodied in your power, more connected to other men, and nourished by great food and inspiring nature. Head over ​to book your spot now​.Want support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout ​Men’s Group Experience​ or ​The Heart of Shadow​Learn the foundations of masculine presence and remove your blocks to polarity via our ​Pillars of Presence​ programLike the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at ​here

In this episode I unpack why mastering sexy hacks like alpha-drops and breath orgasms is just the tip of the iceberg. I explore how childhood attachment wounds, body neglect, and unprocessed relational pain set the real limits on your erotic charge, and I explain why the hard, unsexy healing work—therapy, men’s groups, shadow work, and nervous-system rehab—is the game-changer for lasting safety, trust, and deep connection.Join our LIVE retreat: August 28th – September 1st in Northern California. You’ll walk away deeply embodied in your power, more connected to other men, and nourished by great food and inspiring nature. Head over ​to book your spot now​.Learn the foundations of masculine presence and remove your blocks to polarity via our ​Pillars of Presence​ programWant support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout ​Men’s Group Experience​ or ​The Heart of Shadow​Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at ​here

In this episode, I explore four core capacities every man needs to start cultivating to stay vital and grounded in an AI-powered world. This isn’t science fiction—AI is already shaping how we live, relate, and make choices. I talk about the rising influence of automation, and four essential tools for thriving as a man in the world that is now here. If you want to stay human, creative, and trustworthy in a culture increasingly driven by AI, listen in now.Get offline and the build these capacities at the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat. August 28th - September 1st in Northern California. You'll walk away deeply embodied in your power, more connected to other men, and nourished by great food and inspiring nature. Head over to https://evolutionary.men/retreat to book your spot now.

Shame isn’t something to get rid of—it’s something to work with. And when we do, it can become one of the most powerful tools for growth, integrity, and connection in a man’s life.In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Keith Witt—psychologist, author, and one of the most seasoned men I’ve had the privilege of learning from—to unpack the deeper function of shame and how it shapes our values, our relationships, and the kind of men we become. We explore how shame, when related to consciously, actually guides us back to our wholeness.But we don’t stop there.We also dive into the developmental arc of the masculine—from boyhood, to acolyte, to warrior, to man of wisdom—and why so many men get stuck along the way. We talk about the power of men’s groups, what creates true ownership and leadership, and why decentralization might just be the key to building lasting brotherhood.Join the next cohort of the Men's Group Experience at https://mens.groupJoin the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at https://heartofshadow.comJoin the Evolutionary Men Labor Day retreat at https://evolutionary.men/retreatABOUT DR. KEITH WITTLearn more about Dr. Keith Witt (and get all his books for free!) at https://drkeithwitt.com/

In this episode, I drop in with Michael Holt, founder of the Savage and Saint Collective. We explore what it really means to live as a whole man—one who’s both deeply sensitive and unapologetically strong.Michael shares his path from violence, rage, and addiction to embodiment, service, and sacred discipline. We talk about why the healed masculine isn’t soft, how true spiritual practice requires savage commitment, and why being dangerous and loving are not opposites—they’re necessary partners.If you’ve ever wondered what it actually looks like to hold both primal power and deep presence, this one’s for you.Learn more about Michael and subscribe to his free email course at https://savageandsaint.comJoin a virtual Evolutionary Men group via the Men's Group Experience at https://mens.group

In this episode, I unpack the concept of men’s groups as the essential “third way”—a relational container that fills the gaps left by coaching and therapy. Drawing on personal experience and cultural insight, I explore how these groups serve as both a third place and a missing medicine for modern men—offering brotherhood, real-time feedback, and deep presence in a peer-led structure. With loneliness, isolation, and performative masculinity on the rise, I make the case that decentralized men’s groups aren’t just helpful—they’re revolutionary.Join a virtual group via the Men's Group Experience at https://mens.group

In this episode, I'm joined by my friend and brother in the men's work space Amir Khalighi. He shares his journey into men's work, discussing the importance of somatic healing and the role of community in personal growth. He emphasizes the need for men to reconnect with their true selves and the natural world, highlighting the challenges they face in today's society. Amir defines 'Embodied Masculine' as a unique approach that integrates somatic and shamanic practices, aiming to empower men to live purposefully and authentically. We explore the evolving landscape of masculinity, emphasizing the importance of men's circles, vulnerability, and the reclamation of feminine energy. Amir highlights the dangers of disconnected masculinity and the necessity for men to find their purpose within a community, ultimately advocating for a balanced approach to leadership that embraces both strength and vulnerability.More about Amir Khalighi at embodiedmasculine.comLearn more about Men's Group Experience and join Evolutionary Men at https://mens.group

In this episode, I share the deeper “why” behind launching my new program, Men’s Group Experience—and what I’ve learned after decades in the trenches of men’s work.Yes, I’ve talked before about the power of decentralized men’s groups. But this conversation goes further. This one’s about what actually sustains a group—beyond the structure. What makes men stay, show up fully, and build something real together? I explore the difference between just “being in a group” and fully owning your seat in circle.I also break down what inspired me to create this new offering, how it builds on everything I’ve learned from leading and being part of men’s groups for over 20 years, and why now is the moment to reclaim this kind of brotherhood.If you've been circling around this work but haven’t taken the leap—or if you’ve done some groups but they didn’t stick—this is your invitation.The Men’s Group Experience is a 12-week, no-BS initiation into what it actually means to be in a functional, supportive, and sustainable men’s group. You’ll get the framework, the practices, and the chance to keep your group going indefinitely—with or without me.Learn more about Men's Group Experience and join us at https://mens.group

In this episode, I reconnect with one of the most important men in my journey—my first men’s coach, Tripp Lanier. We dive into a rich conversation around what it means to be a man today, the traps so many of us fall into with comfort and surface-level success, and why emotional intelligence isn’t optional anymore—it’s essential.We explore what it means to be a dangerous man—the kind that comes from being truly alive and present, not just posturing or playing a role. Tripp shares hard-won insights from his book This Book Will Make You Dangerous, and we unpack why vulnerability, real connection, and doing the inner work are the gateway to actual freedom.This one’s about breaking the mold, reclaiming our power, and leaning into the kind of masculinity that doesn’t run from feeling, but turns toward it. If you’re on the path—or ready to be—this conversation is a potent reminder of what’s possible when men come together and get real.Ready to experience the power of a virtual men's group? Checkout the Men's Group Experience now at https://mens.groupExperience a group in person with the Heart of Shadow at heartofshadow.comAbout Tripp:Tripp Lanier is a professional coach, author of This Book Will Make You Dangerous, and host of The New Man Podcast: Beyond the Macho Jerk and the New Age Wimp which — for over a decade — has been downloaded millions of times.

In this episode, I sit down with my friend and collaborator Luke to unpack the enduring myth of the Marlboro Man—and how it’s still shaping men’s lives today. We explore the fantasy of the rugged, independent cowboy and how it feeds into the “lone wolf” mentality so many men have been conditioned to admire. Luke shares some powerful reflections from his own background in Western culture and rural communities, where this archetype is alive and well. Together, we shine a light on the emotional cost of stoicism, the pressure to “just get to work,” and the way this legacy leaves so many men isolated and unsupported. This conversation is a call to reevaluate what real strength looks like—and how connection, not detachment, might just be the most courageous thing a man can choose.Ready to experience the power of a men's group? Checkout the Men's Group Experience now at https://mens.groupJoin the Heart of Shadow at heartofshadow.com

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, to explore the root causes of why so many men feel stuck, frustrated, and disconnected—and what actually works to break that cycle. We dive into the cost of being a “nice guy,” how men’s groups offer a new form of masculine initiation, and why real brotherhood—not therapy, not status, not hustle—is often the missing piece for men.Robert shares his personal story of transformation, how No More Mr. Nice Guy came to life, and the rise of a decentralized men’s movement that’s quietly changing lives around the world. We talk shame, leadership, male friendship, and why emotional honesty is the foundation of everything men are looking for—whether it’s a better relationship, more purpose, or real peace inside.If you’ve ever felt alone, lost, or like you’re doing all the “right” things but still not feeling fulfilled—this conversation will hit home.Learn more about Robert’s work and community at https://drglover.comReady to experience the power of a men's group? Checkout the Men's Group Experience now at https://mens.group

In this episode, I’m joined once again by my brother-in-arms Dr. Luke Adler to dive into something a little different: a reaction and commenting on a recent Diary of a CEO episode featuring Logan Ury and Scott Galloway.We discuss the external challenges facing men today — loneliness, economic shifts, the dating gap — while highlighting the deeper root causes we see in our work: emotional illiteracy, the collapse of brotherhood, and the loss of true masculine initiation. We lay out why pursuing excellence and money alone isn’t enough, and what it actually takes for men to thrive in the modern world. This one’s packed — tune in.Want support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout mens.group or heartofshadow.comLike the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at evolutionary.men/discuss

In this episode, I break down one of the biggest keys to creating a men’s group that actually lasts: decentralization.I get into why most top-down, subscription-style men’s groups eventually fall apart, why ownership matters more than convenience, and how shared leadership creates real brotherhood that sticks through every season of life.I also share some personal stories — including how one of my very first men’s groups has been meeting for 14 years — and why decentralized groups aren’t just better… they’re the future of men’s work.If you’re serious about finding your tribe and building something that lasts, this one’s for you.Want support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout mens.group or heartofshadow.comLike the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at evolutionary.men/discuss

In this episode I’m once again joined by my co-facilitator and brother in the work, Dr. Luke Adler. We go deep into the energetic anatomy of wounding—mapping how blocked emotion and stagnation impact a man’s ability to access both love and purpose.Luke shares powerful insights from decades of working with Eastern medicine and energy systems, particularly around the polarity between the heart and reproductive center. We talk about how those two forces must be in communication for us to feel alive, directed, and connected—and what happens when the system gets clogged or shut down.We also explore why protection isn’t the enemy, how fear gates purpose, and what it really means to tend the fire inside. If you’ve been feeling stuck, numb, or like your spark is fading, this is one to listen to.Join us for the next Heart of Shadow cohort at heartofshadow.com.Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at evolutionary.men/discuss

What does it really mean for us men to get grounded? In this episode, I explore the crucial distinction between momentary grounding as a state experience versus what you're actually grounding into - the relationships, community, and life structures that catch you when you can't catch yourself. Most guys miss this entirely, focusing on quick fixes rather than building the root system that creates true stability and power as a man.Ready to experience the power of a men's group? Get on the waitlist for the Men's Group Experience at mens.groupLike the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at evolutionary.men/discuss

In this episode I'm joined by Dr. Luke Adler to explore what we call "the masculine vortex" - that transformative space where men find healing through authentic connection. We discuss how masculine love provides the safety for men to let go of performance and truly be seen, creating a profound sense of belonging many have never experienced. Luke and I reveal the key elements that make our Heart of Shadow work so effective, where vulnerability becomes strength and pain becomes purpose. This isn't just about personal healing - it's about revolutionizing how men relate to each other and the world.Learn about the Heart of Shadow program.Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community!

In this episode I reveal how honest feedback from trusted brothers turbocharges male growth. "Carefrontation" breaks through limiting patterns and accelerates your journey toward authenticity. Real transformation happens when men confront each other with genuine care rather than criticism. Your path to becoming your best self begins with finding men brave enough to reflect your blind spots.Ready to experience the power of a men's group? Get on the waitlist for the Men's Group Experience.

In this episode I explore two fundamental needs that every man craves: purpose and belonging, and how joining a men's group can fulfill these essential needs. I discuss how purpose gives men a sense that their presence matters and impacts the world positively, while belonging provides the deep connection and sense of community that many men are missing in modern life. I explain how participating in a men's group offers both a tangible purpose through showing up for other men, and creates genuine belonging through sustained, intimate connections with fellow group members over time.Head over to mens.group if you want to experience more purpose and belonging!a

In this episode, Dr. Luke Adler and I discuss the concept of anti-fragility as it relates to men's shadow work and personal development. We explore how anti-fragility goes beyond mere resilience, and is a state where challenges and stressors actually strengthen and energize rather than deplete. We highlight how the Heart of Shadow program can be an engine for anti-fragility for men by transmuting difficult emotions and experiences into vitality and connection. With this capacity, suddenly life's challenges become opportunities for growth and vitality rather than sources of breakdown.

In this episode, I explore the fundamental weakness of macho men and the "tough guy" culture that promotes isolation and emotional suppression. I explain how every man will eventually face physical challenges or illness that they can't simply "push through," revealing the critical importance of having a strong support system. Learn why posturing is still fear based and what you can do instead.Learn more and find a men's group at evolutionary.men

In this episode, I share a powerful practice of choosing an annual "lens" - a perspective through which to view and experience your life throughout the year. I explain how this differs from traditional goal-setting, as a lens simply offers a way to reframe experiences rather than something you can succeed or fail at, using examples from my own journey. I describe how this practice has transformed both major life decisions and everyday moments, helping me navigate challenges, make bold choices, and experience life in fresh ways. I conclude by inviting listeners to try this practice themselves, either individually or through my guided workshop, emphasizing how a carefully chosen lens can bring novelty, energy and new possibilities to any situation.Join the 2025 Quarterly Workshop series https://evolutionary.men/lens/

In this episode I dive deep into the three major energy drains affecting men today and share how to reclaim your vitality. Drawing from both personal experience and years of coaching, I explore how neglecting body nourishment, suppressing emotions, and mental rumination are secretly depleting your energy reserves. I break down why proper sleep, nutrition, and recovery are non-negotiable foundations, explain how stored emotions create physical tension that exhausts us, and reveal why constant mental chatter is more draining than you think. Whether you're feeling burnt out or simply want to optimize your energy, this episode provides the roadmap to get your power back.visit heartofshadow.com to reclaim your lifeforce!

In this episode I explore the concept of tonic masculinity - a positive, generative force that brings vitality and growth to our world. Unlike its pathological counterparts, tonic masculinity represents the unique texture of masculine love that's deeply caring, attuned, and focused on creating positive change. I delve into how this manifestation of masculinity calls forth the best in everyone, creates containers for growth, and serves as a creative force rather than a destructive one. This form of masculinity that doesn't rely on domination or control is desperately needed in our culture, as it empowers others and creates structures that support collective flourishing and safety.

In this episode, I am joined by Dr. Luke Adler to expose the hidden price of success that's crushing high-achieving men. We reveal why driven professionals can't feel their own exhaustion until it's too late, and share the breakthrough solution we've discovered through our work with countless men. If you're winning at life but feeling empty inside, this conversation could be the wake-up call you've been ignoring. Learn why slowing down might be the most powerful move you'll ever make.Learn about the Heart of Shadow program.

In this episode, I dive into the crucial distinction between having needs and being needy. Understanding this difference is vital for fostering healthy relationships and ensuring that we connect with the right people in our lives.The characteristics of neediness and how it can push people away.The importance of expressing our needs directly and taking ownership of them.How neediness often stems from a sense of urgency and a lack of clarity.The empowering nature of owning our needs and the vulnerability it entails.Practical strategies for cultivating a supportive network to help meet our needs.Tune in and learn how to transform your approach to needs and neediness for a more fulfilling life!

Discover the secrets to a sizzling sex life that keeps getting better and better year after year! In this episode, Violet and I reveal our sexual journey, sharing candid tips on maintaining erotic energy and emotional connection. Learn why safety, vulnerability, and shared responsibility are the keys to unlocking unparalleled pleasure and deepening your bond. Whether you're struggling with sexual challenges or looking to elevate your passion, this episode can revolutionize your approach to intimacy and reignite the spark in your relationship.Whether you're newlyweds or celebrating decades together, this episode is your roadmap to unprecedented sexual connection.Join our LIVE cohort of our Evolutionary Couples program at https://evolutionarycouples.usShort on time? You can also experience 12 Epic Dates at your own pace and reignite the fire of your relationship 

In this episode, my wife Violet and I dive deep into the raw, real, and often messy side of relationships by sharing our three biggest fights and lessons from them. From trust issues and emotional disregulation to financial stress and fertility struggles, we explore how rupture and repair are essential for growth in any partnership. We also introduce our new programs, Evolutionary Couples & 12 Epic Dates, designed to help couples build stronger, more resilient relationships through skill-building, emotional connection, and polarity. Tune in for an honest conversation about the challenges of love, and how to navigate them with grace, tools, and support.Find out more about Evolutionary Couples which starts October 19th and has Early Bird until October 7th, and sign up for 12 Epic Dates anytime at https://evolutionarycouples.us

If you only had about 2 hours a week to spend on your relationship, how could you use that time most wisely?The truth is relationships can be incredibly challenging, especially in today’s fast-paced world where it can be hard to prioritize the relationship. Even when partners deeply love each other, they may face difficulties in maintaining passion, resolving conflicts, and growing together over the long term. Many couples are stuck in unfulfilling patterns, feeling more like roommates than lovers, or constantly bickering over small issues. Without the right tools and support, it’s easy for relationships to stagnate or deteriorate over time.My wife Violet and I created the Evolutionary Couples program as a structured experience to help couples revitalize their relationships and foster deeper connection. Through 12 carefully designed “epic dates,” couples are guided to explore key areas like communication, intimacy, finances, and shared purpose. The journey provides a mix of themed dates addressing practical issues and polarity dates to reignite passion and play. With options for self-paced learning or a more immersive experience with coaching and community support, couples can choose the level of engagement that works for them. By dedicating just two hours a week to intentional relationship building, partners can develop new skills, heal old wounds, and cultivate a thriving, passionate partnership that just keeps improving over time!Learn more and sign up at evolutionarycouples.us

In this episode, I challenge the negative perception of "nice guys" in the men's work world. The truth is, being a nice guy is an evolutionary leap in masculinity as it brings online kindness and sensitivity in men. It's not about killing or getting rid of our nice guy, but instead is all about integrating him along with our power.

In this episode I explore reveals three game-changing types of fluidity - nervous system, emotional, and polarity - that can skyrocket your personal growth and relationships. Learn how mastering these skills can help you effortlessly navigate stress, emotions, and social dynamics.Join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at heartofshadow.com