Hunting Dragons

Day 76: Now that I have finally finished the album and delivered it to Murphy, he’s promised to take me home, but it’s taking longer than I was hoping it would. So I’ve been using the time to do some thinking. Something good did come out of this whole affair, after all. I found out something absolutely amazing! Dragons are real, even if they aren’t in our dimension, and they need to be protected. So I have decided to form a “Save the Dragons” foundation. You can find out more at “Savedragons.com…” as soon as I get it fully set it up! We will keep these wonderful creatures flying—especially the ones with the brown coats. This has been a long and incredible journey. At the moment, all I want to do is hold my girls close, and tomorrow I will finally be able to. I’ve almost made it home, a little wiser than I was, with a knowledge of places and people I never dreamed existed. I have a feeling my adventures with Murphy’s crew aren’t completely over. After all, pirates have a nasty habit of turning up when you least expect them. And there’s a sneaking suspicion in the back of my mind that there may be other dimensional journeys in my future. I hope not anytime soon… — I’ve managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship’s doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I’m recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy’s infamy when I finally return to civilization. There’s a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don’t care who they have to rob to get it. There’s a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don’t like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There’s a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two.

Day 75: It took a few days to get the loot sorted out, and everything squared away on whatever world we were currently. Gus and Jenny seemed to be jockeying for Murphy’s right hand “man.” I didn’t want to take sides, but I’d know Gus a bit longer. Plus, he was the one who had kidnapped me, and I wanted to keep on his good side to get home like Murphy had promised. So…when he sought me out in my berth, I pretended to be happy to see him. I set aside the book, which I had been reading through for lack of anything else to do. “What can I do for you, Gus?” “I’ve always treated you right, haven’t I? Had yer back when Murphy was in one of his moods?” “Yes…” “So, would you talk to Andrew? He’s muscling in on me turf…as it were. I’ve been Murphy’s second for almost half a decade now. Sure, I’d like me own ship—but that ain’t likely anytime soon. I’ve got a plan, but I have to play nice with Murphy until I can get my hands on one o’ those Fancies o’ his.” I blinked. “You know about those?” “Hell, boyo, the whole crew knows about th’ one. I’ve me suspicions on how he got t’other. Daltry’s device was no secret either, and no one seems to have found it in his things.” He waved the issue aside. “That’s beside the point anyhow. I’ve got to keep me job!” I could sympathize. “I’ll talk to he—him.” “Thank ye, Marc. I appreciate it. And if ye ever need anything I kin help with…” I was touched. It was the offer of a pirate, but an honorable one. We shook hands, and Gus left. I decided to finish packing. Surely we would be heading back to Earth soon. — I’ve managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship’s doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I’m recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy’s infamy when I finally return to civilization. There’s a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don’t care who they have to rob to get it. There’s a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don’t like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There’s a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two.

Day 70: We spent the night hovering outside the cave, waiting in case the dragon tried to slip out in the darkness. At dawn, a great rush of warm air sighed out of the opening. I surreptitiously wiped a tear from my eye, because I was sure what that must mean. I bent my head for a moment of silence. The dragon deserved no less. There was no further sign of life. As soon as the sun fully rose the ship moved forward, and, with a skill I had to admire, the helmsman managed to bring the Lady Jean to a safe landing on the ledge outside the dragon’s cave. The entire crew burst into cheers, and Jenny hugged me in excitement—before catching herself and backing off hurriedly so no one would notice. “Let’s see what we’ve got, men!” Murphy crowed—a bit prematurely, I thought…who knew what we would find inside? The pirates poured off the ship wielding their cutlasses in one hand and pistols in the other. “Remember, boys—there’s nothing more dangerous than a wounded animal. Don’t be lett’n yer guard down. There’s no tellin’ what else might be lyin’ in wait.” The crew roared its approval, and we stepped into the cavern. I stayed in the back, not sure what to expect. I didn’t have to worry. I don’t know if the dragon was alive or dead when we entered the cave. It just lay there, alone, in the center of the floor. And the crew stood in a half-circle around it, emptying every last round into its head. It was certainly dead after that. The crew cheered. Cheered—like it was a good thing to kill a dragon. Luckily, no one could see that my own eyes were filled with tears. The pirates scattered immediately, beginning their search for treasure. Shouts rang out all over the cavern as they shared their findings. “Chest here!” “There’s a pile o’ gold in this corner!” “A ruby the size o’ me hand!” I stopped a minute beside the noble beast. It was covered with patches of blood, but the golden scales still glimmered faintly in the sunlight filtering into the cavern. I placed a hand on the shimmering hide and whispered a goodbye. Murphy came up behind me and clapped me on the shoulder. “She fought a good fight, didn’t she?” He reached down and ripped a loose, bloodstained scale from the mighty beast. “Here—make yer wife a bauble from that!” He strode off before he could see the horror on my face. As soon as he turned away, I dropped it on the floor, wiping the blood off my hand as quickly as possible. The very idea! “Get yer arse over here, Bard,” Murphy growled from the far side of the cavern, and I hastened to obey. It was always best to do what Murphy said—as soon as possible. When I turned to join Murphy, what I saw took my breath away. I had been so focused on the dragon that I hadn’t registered the items in the cavern. All the dreams of dragon hoards I had formed from movies and books paled beside the reality of it. Piles of gold reached from floor to ceiling all around the perimeter of the cavern. In the center was a mound of gold and gemstones with a depression in the middle. I think it was the dragon’s bed—he hadn’t made it as far as that before he collapsed in the cave on his return. There were chests pushed against the gold, some open, some closed. Those that were open spilled bolts of silk and great chains set with gems as big as my thumb. Gilded volumes were scattered throughout, and I picked up a book of fairy tales that Kenzie would love! Especially since they were not of our world, so totally brand-new stories. “Keep that as the first part of your portion, Bard,” Murphy growled, grinning at me. “Not a bad piece of work, was it?” I thought of the glorious dragon lying in a heap in the center of the cavern and sighed. “It was…interesting.” Murphy clapped me on the shoulder and began issuing orders to the crew. They began carting chests back toward the Lady Jean. “The mother load, aye, Marc? Ready to go home, Bard?” I had never heard anything so sweet. — I’ve managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship’s doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I’m recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy’s infamy when I finally return to civilization. There’s a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don’t care who they have to rob to get it. There’s a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don’t like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There’s a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two.

Day 69: Everyone was fairly hung over this morning, but that didn’t stop us shipping out at the crack of dawn. Gus was back, like he’d never been gone. I tried to talk to him, but the dragon was making everyone crazy, and no one had time for anything but work. The hunt was absolutely terrifying. I never want to go through something like that again! We started off in the direction that Murphy had spied the dragon before, and it was soon quite obvious we were on the right track. Great swathes of trees lay splintered and burned beneath us. “More Steam!” Murphy roared, affixing one of the Jupiter’s Fancy stones to the hollow in the wheel I had noticed before. We kept moving forward, so I guess it was more for luck this time. And it was sitting there in plain sight, so I guess the existence of the devices isn’t really a secret. At least we didn’t change worlds. The crew hustled to follow his orders, and the ship leapt forward. As we followed the trail of destruction, I thought about this world. Now that I knew we were not on Earth, I wondered about it even more. There was a Steampunk sensibility about it, with all the airships and clockworks. I wonder if it has something to do with that time I saw Murphy at DragonCon. He seemed very taken with Steampunk. The trail became even more obvious the further we went. Some of the trees were still smoldering, and I think that I saw a hut on fire. The dragon was burning villages. Lots of people have died, according to rumors in the taverns. I wasn’t feeling as dragon friendly at the moment. “There she blows!” cried the lookout. The metaphor was a bit mixed, but we could see the dragon in the distance. My god, it was huge! I’d never seen one as large. The sun glittering off its wings was breathtaking. Light splintered into prisms like a million rainbows. The gold dragon roared defiantly when he saw the Lady Jean, and dove toward us. His wingspread was wider than our hull length. It just reared back and let out a gout of flame. Even at our distance, I could hear screams. There was a village beneath it—and now, it was a garden of fire. “Set the harpoons!” Murphy growled. Andrew was already in position across the deck, working the winches to aim the harpoons. There were four of the things, sharp and deadly, which could be fired in rapid order. Each was attached to a large spool of steel cable. Each one would normally have been manned by two pirates, but we no longer had that big a crew. While Andrew worked to get aim on the perfect “kill” spot—the belly of the creature—our biggest man struggled to point the other harpoons at the beast, until all four were set. The harpoons would be plenty strong enough for any of the dragons we’d fought so far…hopefully they were enough for this one. Murphy continued shouting commands from his position behind the wheel, pointing here and there to bring the harpoons to bear. “Fire!” Murphy bellowed, and Andrew gave a sharp nod to his man. Four arrows of death flew toward that golden behemoth, trailing cables that seemed as thin as gossamer strands as they unwound from the spools. I saw at least three hit, the Lady Jean bucking against the strain of it. The dragon let out a scream of its own—a high-pitched keen of pain and fury as it fought to free itself of the barbed weapons. The harpoons were designed with extending barbs that deployed when they hit. When the point dug deep, the barbs ripped and tore at the scales around them. The lovely golden scales bloomed with red flowers, and shreds fell like confetti. The dragon took off, soaring straight upward. The Lady Jean followed, like an owner pulled along by a runaway dog. “Muskets!” Murphy barked, and a barrage of musket balls sped upwards. The men at the harpoons were working hard to reel in the dragon. Because of that, I could see every contact that the musket balls made. Its sides were more red than gold now. The Lady Jean rose after the creature, and a second round of musket fire went off. The cables were singing in the wind, taut between the two combatants. Andrew hit a control on her pedestal, and the barbs on that harpoon retracted. The point subsequently tore loose, leaving a gaping wound in the dragon’s side that sent a rain of blood pattering down around us. The dragon roared in agony, and my soul cried in sympathy. The deadly arrow snapped back toward the ship. For a moment, I held my breath, sure that it was going to rip a hole in the envelope, but it just slammed into the side of the ship, quivering. I let out the breath in a rush—just in time for a second harpoon to let go and skewer one of the crew. The rest of the crew sent another volley of musket fire directly into the gaping wounds. The dragon’s roars took on a high-pitched keen of pain. The final line snapped with a crack like a whip. The dragon banked and flew off toward a distant mountain. “After that beast!” Murphy’s eyes were blazing like diamonds. The crew scrambled to comply. “And get that body off the ship,” he ordered, jerking his head at the corpse on the deck. The pirates dumped it over the side like so much dirty laundry. The matter-of-factness of it made my blood run cold. It wasn’t hard to trail the dragon. The wounds in its sides were definitely taking their toll. A fine mist of blood rode the breeze. As we neared the mountain we could see a cave behind a substantial ledge. The dragon was making straight for it. A lair! A real life dragon’s lair! What treasures would be inside? We’d found a few small hoards in our hunts, but nothing big. This cave looked like it might rival the hoards of legend. The giant wings were beating slower as the dragon struggled to reach the cave. It stumbled as it hit the ledge, and then it was inside. Would we have to follow? — I’ve managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship’s doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I’m recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy’s infamy when I finally return to civilization. There’s a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don’t care who they have to rob to get it. There’s a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don’t like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There’s a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two.

Day 68: I can't believe I've been captured by pirates for more than two months. It feels even longer. I wonder if time is passing the same way at home. There's a possibility that it isn't. Maybe Gwen doesn't even know that I've left…or at least thinks I’m running errands or something. That would be awesome! I've been searching for Gus for days now. Every time I walk into a pub or shop it seems like I’ve always “just missed him.” I'm beginning to get a little paranoid about that. I've finished the last song for the album and turned copies over to Murphy. There's no reason for him to keep me here any longer, but he's made no mention of taking me home, either. I’m not sure what he is waiting for…though he did “promise” me a dragon hunt. Maybe this is the reason he hasn’t said anything about me going home. Daltry's death was just taken in stride, like murder was an everyday thing among these people. Maybe it is…I know nothing of this world. And everyone seems perfectly okay with Murphy claiming the Lady Jean. He does have the deed, after all. He made sure to steal that too. We've moved all our things onto the ship, and he's talking about setting sail tomorrow. It is a fine ship, but I worry about where we might go next. Will Murphy live up to his end of the deal, or will he do the pirate thing and take me even further away from home? Murphy sighted a gold dragon in the distance last night. That's the biggest breed, and Murphy's never faced one in battle. I have a feeling we will be changing that soon. Everyone got roaring drunk last night after the dragon was seen—which was strange…but “pirates.” The drinking led to some interesting party games…Jenny slipped away before “The Ballad of Jenny Malloy” became a true story. I’ll admit that I drank a bit more than I should have, but the thought of facing that golden behemoth scared the hell out of me, and the mead dulled the terror…at least for a while. — I’ve managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship’s doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I’m recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy’s infamy when I finally return to civilization. There’s a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don’t care who they have to rob to get it. There’s a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don’t like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There’s a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two.

Day 65: I can’t face Murphy. I’ve been avoiding him since I witnessed the murder in Daltry's office. I just know my eyes would give me away. I have never been good at bluffing. If Murphy was willing to kill to possess the Lady Jean…what would he do to someone who saw the murder? What am I going to do? I have to get home. From what I discovered yesterday, I am no longer surprised not to recognize anything, but I am even more at a loss as to how to get home. If we aren't even in the same dimension as my friends and family, how will I ever get back to them? I don't have a pair of ruby slippers, I haven’t seen any blue box around, and there is certainly no Star-Gate that can get me back to the dimension where I belong. There's only one way that I can see. I have to steal one of those Portal devices from Murphy. This is a terrible idea; I just know it. I've never been good at thievery. Of course, all I know about thievery, I learned in “A Prudent Thief”—you remember that song, don't you? It didn't end well for him. I wonder if there is some way to enlist some help. If I can find Gus, I might be able to persuade him to help me. I know he is tired of being under Murphy's thumb, and he's a really good pirate. I bet he would be able to get a Jupiter’s Fancy for me. But would he give it to me once he got it? Maybe Jenny would be a better bet…but she's so enamored of the idea of being on Murphy's crew would she be willing to jump ship? Of course, she could have the ship after I got home…so that might be good incentive. Oh wait. A ship. We don't have one of those either. Do we have to steal the Lady Jean from Murphy too? — I’ve managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship’s doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I’m recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy’s infamy when I finally return to civilization. There’s a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don’t care who they have to rob to get it. There’s a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don’t like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There’s a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two.

Day 63: Murphy is champing at the bit. The Lady Jean is finished except for the final touches to the décor. Murphy wants that ship so badly I can taste it. Murphy has taken to sitting in his cabin with a bottle of rum and a bad mood. I surprised him yesterday when I took him the latest song pages. He hid something in his drawer when he came in, but I caught a glimpse of something glowing green. Murphy has one of the devices too! Whatever the devices are… Someone must know what the glowing orbs are. Maybe Gus? Of course, Gus is still absent for the most part. He was supposed to be recruiting new sailors, but that was weeks ago. Several sailors have come to Murphy claiming to be Gus’s recruits, so I am pretty sure he’s here in town too. He must have caught a ride on another ship. I think I’ve seen him in the distance around the yard—I am almost positive of it—but never close enough to speak to. Andrew and I have taken to following Murphy wherever he goes—it’s not like we have a lot else to do to pass the time. Today, he went back to Daltry’s office. Trying one more time to talk the shipwright out of the ship, I suppose. I stood with my ear to the door as Andrew kept lookout again. I suppose it is unfair of me to make Jenny be the lookout all the time, but people expect to see her around the shipyard. I still stick out like a sore thumb. Outside the door, I heard a heated argument. I wished I had a glass to hold against the door. Their voices were just beyond the limit of understanding. Heart pounding in my chest, I eased the door open a crack, putting my eye against that instead. Daltry bellowed at Murphy that he'd only barter the Lady Jean in exchange for…his Jupiter’s Fancy! A Jupiter’s Fancy? What on earth is that? “I’ve got one of me own,” Daltry murmured, “but ye can never have too many precious things, can you? That’s me price, Murphy. Give me your Jupiter’s Fancy, and you can have the Lady Jean free and clear. It’s a hell of a good bargain.” “Do you think me daft, Patrick Daltry? I’ll give up me Jupiter’s Fancy when pigs fly! How could I open a portal back t’ me own world if I gave it to ye?” I almost gasped aloud, clapping my hand in front of my mouth to hold it back. So that is the secret! That’s why the maps don’t make any sense, and there are dragons soaring the skies. We are on another world! Murphy stepped forward, chest to chest with Daltry. “Ye had yer chance, Paddy—but ye had t’ git greedy.” He pulled his dirk and stabbed the man in the belly. Then, Murphy began rifling through the things on the desk—he held up a sheet of parchment in triumph and shoved it in his coat. He jerked open all the drawers of the desk until he crowed in victory and picked up a glowing green orb, tucking that into his coat as well—was that this Fancy thing? It reminded me of what I had seen in Murphy’s cabin. “Thanks, matey,” he growled. “I knew we could come to an arrangement.” He started toward the door, and I ducked away, my heart slamming against my ribs. As soon as I rounded the corner of the office, I took to my heels, running as fast as I could. — Save the Dragons I’ve managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship’s doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I’m recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy’s infamy when I finally return to civilization. There’s a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don’t care who they have to rob to get it. There’s a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don’t like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There’s a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two.

Day 59: Andrew and I continue to try and figure out what it is that Murphy is hiding. What device is so important that Murphy is willing to sacrifice the Lady Jean for it? I’ve been poking around his cabin when he is out, with Andrew on lookout, but we’ve found nothing out of the ordinary. So, we decided to try pulling the other end of the string. Andrew—I’ve called her that so often now that it feels like the correct name—and I went to the shop of the shipwright building the Lady Jean. He is a jovial man by the name of Daltry. He is considered by most of the sailors here as the best shipwright for a thousand miles. He always incorporates innovation and artistry into his ships, things that no one has ever seen before. Some people whisper that there is magic involved, but that is crazy, of course. Though, with some of the things I’ve seen on this trip, I am not so sure of that any more… Anyway, he took us on a tour of the Lady Jean. It’s a beautiful little ship. A crew of ten is optimal, but she is responsive enough to be handled by two or three men. The wheel has a curious indention on it, about the size of my fist. We haven’t a clue what might rest there. Daltry clammed up when I asked him what it was that Murphy refused to give him, fiddling with something in his pocket. I told him, “I might be able to talk Murphy out of whatever you want, if I know what it is,” and he gave me the stink eye. “If you don’t know, I ain’t telling you,” he replied in a huff, changing from jovial to surly in a second. “I’ve got work to do.” He jerked his hand out of his pocket. Turning, he stepped into his office, slamming the door behind him. As the door shut, I caught a glimpse of something held in his hand. It was about the size of my fist, green, and glowing. — Buy Pirates vs. Dragons! I’ve managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship’s doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I’m recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy’s infamy when I finally return to civilization. There’s a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don’t care who they have to rob to get it. There’s a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don’t like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There’s a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two.

Day 58: “Andrew” and I walked into what was left of Murphy’s cabin on the wreck of the Irish Stout. I was a little nervous. The deception Andrew’s been living under could get her in a lot of trouble if she’s found out. Pirates live by a Code—and they can be an unforgiving lot. Just look at the legends, like Blackbeard and Calico Jack Rackham. They make Murphy look like Jack Sparrow. Her deception would have her keelhauled, if not worse. “What do you want?” barked Murphy. “Sorry for the interruption, Captain,” I answered nervously. “This is Andrew—” Murphy sat back in his chair, like it was a throne, and looked at her with his head tilted to one side. “So, yer this ‘Andrew’ I’ve been hearing so much about.” “Yes, sir.” “Yer the talk o’ the shipyard, lad. They say yer the best gunner a cap’n ever had at their side—though a mite shy of the water.” Jenny cocked her head, arms crossed, and sniffed. “Sounds like ye heard right. What’s it to ya?” “I suppose ye want a job.” “Mebbe.” “Fair enough. Can ye sign yer name?” “’Course.” “Sign here, gunner.” As she signed her name, I swear I saw that smirk creep across Murphy’s face again. Little did I know that Andrew was a renowned gunner specializing in harpoons. “Welcome aboard,” said Murphy. “Now git yer arse out of here.” And that was it. Didn’t have to persuade him or anything. It was a little weird. She’s moved her stuff into the crew quarters and everything. I wonder if she brought the egg, or if she hid it somewhere else. I wouldn’t risk it being anywhere near Murphy if it were mine. Once she was settled, we went back out to recruit more help. As we walked down the plank, we could hear Murphy’s voice from two ships away. He was arguing with the man building the Lady Jean. The ship is almost completed, but Murphy wanted it yesterday. But he’s not going to get it cheap. We were curious, and walked that way to get a better listen to what was being said. I didn’t hear the entire argument, but I did hear Murphy shout, “You can’t be serious!” And then the shipwright got quieter, but I did hear, “That’s my price. You’ve got a…” and then his voice got too soft to hear for a moment. He finished with, “You want the Lady Jean, I get the device.” I don’t know what this device is, but it must be something incredibly special if Murphy won’t part with it even for the Lady Jean. He really wants that ship. — I’ve managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship’s doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I’m recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy’s infamy when I finally return to civilization. There’s a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don’t care who they have to rob to get it. There’s a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don’t like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There’s a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two.

Pirates vs. Dragons comes out on July 27th. You can save 40% off the cover price when you buy the album on that day. And right now, the Kindle version of this book is available FOR FREE on Amazon. Go download your copy and learn about the backstory behind the music. Buy Pirates vs. Dragons! — Day 57: We’ve continued here in the shipyard almost another week so far. The pirates have given me a bit more freedom here on the island—mostly because I’ve been earning my keep while we are in dry dock…and it’s not as if I have any way to escape. I’ve been singing two or three sets a night now, and people are really digging the new songs. Jenny—or, I better get used to saying “Andrew”—has never been a part of an airship’s crew, though she’s been at sea since she was thirteen. Hers is a fascinating story. I hope my song does it justice. She’s been showing me around the shipyard during the day. We’ve gone places I normally wouldn’t be allowed to go alone. The ironworks—Lord, that’s a noisy place. Banging metal, clattering of steel along the track-like tables. The shipwrights are constantly hammering on the hulls of the ironclads and airships. She’s also taken me inside the taverns where “real” pirates can be found—not like the places where I have been playing, where the patrons are mostly sailors who are a little shifty, and not total cutthroats. You won’t find a regular sailor in one of these dens of skullduggery. You will find sea shanties, roaring laughter, voices raised in quarrels and brutal fistfights. Noisy and alive! Thanks to “Andrew,” things are a little more bearable. Last week, she showed me her biggest secret—and I thought she couldn’t surprise me any further. She has a dragon egg in her sea chest! I don’t know where she got it, but it is beautiful. It is a mottled scarlet, about a foot long, with sprinkles of gold scattered all over the shell. I can understand why she is keeping it secret. If the rest of her crew found out about it, she would lose it for sure. These treasures are more precious than gold to pirates. Jenny/Andrew is a fascinating person. I wish Gwen could meet her. I know that they would get along famously. She’s becoming my best friend here in this strange pirate world I am part of now. She’s obsessed by the thought of joining Murphy’s crew. I’ve got to admit that the thought of having another ally on the ship is tempting. But I know what Murphy’s reaction would be if she were found out. She shares my views about dragons being the noble side of this war with the pirates. She’s been begging me to introduce her to Murphy…and she’s wearing me down. Tomorrow, I may break down entirely. — I’ve managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship’s doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I’m recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy’s infamy when I finally return to civilization. There’s a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don’t care who they have to rob to get it. There’s a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don’t like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There’s a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two.

Pirates vs. Dragons will be released on July 27th. Subscribe to the mailing list to be notified of its release and to get some fun freebies at www.savedragons.com Day 50: We’ve been here almost two weeks as Murphy “negotiates” for the Lady Jean. I’m surprised he hasn’t just climbed aboard and stolen her, but I guess even a pirate has some standards. Plus, if he thinks he’s hunted now—that would have every ship on both sides of the law, and on sky and water—after him. So…here we sit. Murphy, me, and the three other pirates still healthy enough to crew for him. We need three times that even for the Lady Jean. I’ve used my time in the shipyard to try and learn more about where I am. I’ve asked everyone I can think of, from the shipwrights to the navigators to the channel pilots. They tell me names of places, but I don’t recognize any of them. I still haven’t a clue where this town is located. I’ve pored over every map available, but I can’t find any coastline that looks even remotely familiar. The good news is that I have been practicing my new songs about town, and they’ve proved to be hits. I wind up performing in every tavern I visit. I’ve also been mixing in a few of my personal “classic” songs as well. The Brobdingnagian Bards biggest hits, as well as my favorite cat songs. I’ve even had a tavern owner or two try to grill me on how to make Mudder’s Milk—I just tell them it is a secret recipe…since I have no idea what would possibly be in it! The crowds are growing daily. The audiences have been even more responsive than at any place I have played back home. I could get used to this sort of crowd reaction. The audience can’t help but sing along. This album is going to be a big hit, despite its message. Pirate songs are just really catchy. I’ve found some fascinating things out about the port in my explorations. There are several other crews here, and some of them are pretty interesting to say the least. I was in The Broken Dagger last night trying to recruit a few sailors. I bought a young man named Andrew a pint or two—maybe five—of stout. Maybe he reminded me of the old Andrew a bit… He knocked his coin purse off the table and, as he leaned forward to catch it, I caught a glimpse of something a man shouldn’t have on his chest. I gasped. She heard this, sat back down, and looked at me with fear in her eyes. She confessed that she had always wanted to be a pirate, so she had run away to sea as a girl. She really wants to serve on Murphy’s ship—but he would never allow a woman on board. She begged me to keep the secret to myself. How could I say no? Besides, it would serve Murphy right to get taken in. Her story was amazing, and I was inspired to write a new song. I call it “The Ballad of Jenny Malloy.” It is one of the best songs I’ve come up with yet for this album, and I hope Murphy likes it as much as I do: The Ballad of Jenny Malloy * This is the story of Jenny Malloy She was handsome rather than cute— She went off to sea a-dressed as a boy, Till caught in the wrong birthday suit. Jenny decided when she was thirteen That the life of a girl was a bore So she stole her some trews and a cap and a gun And left her dull home on the shore. She applied for a berth with Black Jack Murphy Because she had heard he was fair. And he took her on board on the strength of her word Never thinking to check her down there. Jenny was clever, she was never caught out. And the crew came to know her as “Tim”. They praised the brave lad for the skills that he had Though they wondered why he didn’t swim. For years things went fine, but you can’t alter time… And—as breasts do—hers started to grow. She’d bind them up tight, but try as she might, She could not get her voice to stay low. One night out at sea, with the crew in their cups, A bet was proposed by O’Hare— “Let’s whip our poles out,” the man he did shout, “And see who’s got inches to spare!” To the wine-sodden crew, with naught better to do, This seemed like a grand ol’ idear— But Jenny turned white as the sails on the mast And she prayed to whoever might hear: “Oh, Lord, if you’re there, could You lend me a pair— And give me a handle to crank? I promise to tithe my whole purse for a year, And I’ll know who exactly to thank!” But God and the Devil were busy that day, Or decided she should pay her due— ‘Cause the trousers went down in a circle all ‘round, Till Jenny must lower hers too. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of the years These men had all been her best mates. Then she closed tight her eyes and opened her fly And delivered herself up to Fate. When her trousers went down, there was nary a sound Till the crew as one let out a cheer. For a cabin boy’s fine when you’re sailing the brine But a woman is worth more than beer! So Jenny went on to fortune and fame, As a pirate both cunning and bold And her crewmates draw lots for the order of spots In the queue to her berth in the hold! — I’ve managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship’s doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I’m recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy’s infamy when I finally return to civilization. There’s a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don’t care who they have to rob to get it. There’s a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don’t like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There’s a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two.

I finally ordered physical CDs for Pirates vs. Dragons. Right now, I am tentatively planning an official CD release of the album in July 2016. The exact date is TBA. In the meantime, you can now enjoy the full Steampunk adventure journal from my captivity. The Pirates vs. Dragons eBook is now available on Kindle. In the meantime, I'm excited to continue sharing the podiobook… Day 37: The aftermath of the storm saw us limping into the nearest shipwright on our very last leg. The Irish Stout has seen her final flight. Not even a captain as mad as Murphy would try and take her up again. The hull is stove-in in at least four places, and the mast snapped in two right behind me! We managed to jury-rig something to get to the shipyard, but I honestly don’t know how it worked. Gus has been off the ship since we put in for those supplies a few days back. There’s no way to contact him and tell him to bring his recruits at once, but we are going to need them. The storm took out more than half the men. Murphy wants me to help recruit, but I don’t know the first thing about sailing—in sea or air. So, I did what any bard would do…I wrote a song that might convince a couple of green boys to join: Come and Be a Pirate * Leave behind the law and lawyers, When you leave behind the land— For the law that rules a pirate Is you take whate’er you can. So you want to be a pirate? Well, repeat after me— I’ll pillage, whore, and plunder And live the life that’s free. Little boys who listened When their Mamas said they should They ain’t the kind o’ pirates That will do me any good. I want a crew that’s ruthless Cutthroats, thieves and ghouls. ’Cause we don’t hold tea-parties, And we don’t live by the rules. We sail upon the heavens, In an airship tried and true It’s a whole new world of treasure That we’ll find before we’re through. So, if you want to be a pirate Come on down to the ship. We need a dozen sailors To replace those lost last trip! This shipyard is incredible. There are ships of all sizes and types in all stages of construction. It is built on an island, with a great harbor full of seafaring ships, and a sky full of airships. The banging of hammers is constant. Shouts and saws and singing—cacophony, and yet oddly pleasing. There is a sense of excitement everywhere. Smells of tar and wood smoke, fish and sweat. You can even taste the salt in the air. Murphy has his eyes set on a new ship—though I don’t know how he expects to pay for it. There’s a sweet schooner called the Lady Jean that is almost ready to fly. She’s not a wooden ship, like the Irish Stout. She’s built of a shining metal, lighter and more flexible than I’ve ever seen, but strong and sturdy. The deck and hull are covered with gold Dragon scales. She’s half the size of the Irish Stout, and the shipwright says she can be manned by a crew of ten. I have to admit, she’s a yar ship. I’d love to see her in the air, although I’m not so eager to be one of the crew. If I thought I could get away with it, I would slip away from this place and make my way home. But Murphy has me watched every minute of every day. I did manage to get away from my watcher long enough to pass my Dragon songs off to one of the shopkeepers—along with a note to Gwen. He promised to mail them for me. I hope I can trust him. — I’ve managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship’s doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I’m recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy’s infamy when I finally return to civilization. There’s a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don’t care who they have to rob to get it. There’s a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don’t like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There’s a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two. Pirates vs. Dragons podiobook was written by Rie Sheridan Rose and Marc Gunn. It was produced by David Reiland and Marc Gunn. It was edited by David Reiland. Find out more the book and album at savedragons.com.

Day 34: There’s an old saying among sailors: Red sky at night, sailors' delight. / Red sky at morning, sailors take warning. Well, last night, when I dropped into my bunk, it was a beautiful evening with not a cloud in the sky. But, when I woke up this morning, it looked like we were sailing a sea of blood. The clouds were scarlet and crimson. And Murphy was swearing like a…well, like a sailor. We spent the morning battening down the hatches, and stowing anything loose into something stable. The wind started whistling through the lines about noon. Murphy was bellowing orders over the rising scream of the incoming storm. I usually hid in my bunk if there was a storm, but this time I decided to tie myself to the mast and ride the storm out. The rain started falling about three, but “falling” is a tame word for what came from the sky. It slashed like bullets of water, stinging painfully when they hit. Within seconds, my hair was plastered to my head, and I was very grateful not to have to wear my glasses any more. The ship was pitching and tossing as if it were a bucking horse, or a runaway roller coaster. I was glad I had taken the precaution of tying myself down. I saw one crew member go over the side, and another was crushed by a barrel that broke loose from its moorings. Everything was a confusion of noise and chaos, with the scene illuminated by pitching lanterns and jagged flashes of lightning. There was a great rending shriek of wood against stone, and I saw the mountain scraping by the side of the ship. Three more pirates were crushed between the two before the ship crashed into the rocks. Then there was silence…until the moaning began. I’ve never been so frightened in my life! — I've managed to sneak a bit of pencil stub from the ship's doctor, and a few scraps of paper from the cook. I'm recording my thoughts with them so I can reveal Black Jack Murphy's infamy when I finally return to civilization. There's a universal truth about pirates. They hunt treasure, and they don't care who they have to rob to get it. There's a universal truth about dragons. They hoard treasure, and they really don't like for people to try and take it. I was kidnapped by the infamous air pirate Black Jack Murphy and his crew of the airship The Lady Jean. They wanted me to chronicle their dragon hunts. Little did Murphy know where my sympathies lie! So, this journal — and the resulting CD, coming soon from Mage Records “Pirates vs. Dragons” — tell the true stories of Pirates vs. Dragons. The CD combines rousing sea shanties about pirates being pirates with songs about the majesty of dragons, and the journal details the privations I suffered. There's a little something for both sides here–and I bet you find a new favorite or two.

I am happy to announce I finished stage one of the Dragons vs. Pirates CD. That means all of MY parts are now recorded! That's HUGE because I wasn't hoping to do that  in August so I could release the album to my Kickstarters in October. Obviously, that's not happening. Right now, I hope to send out the final album in December with an official release in February or March next year. Here's hoping. Now on with the story! — Day 31: Now that I know the pirates are supplementing their hard tack with dragon meat, I’ve lost fifteen pounds. All I eat is bread, cheese, and apples. Thank goodness it not the 15th century, I'd rather mead over grog any day! The mead has made for some interesting lyrics, and I have made progress on a couple of Murphy's songs. I’ve also been writing a few “Save the Dragons” songs in secret. Knowing Murphy, I can probably sneak them on to the album. Though most of his followers are going to be treasure-hunting pirates, if even a few listen to the other side, maybe we can stop the slaughter of this beautiful creature. I have to be careful though. If Murphy does suspect that I am on the side of the dragon, he'll have me keelhauled. Probably bounce me off a mountain or two for good measure. I need to find a way to get my “Save the Dragon” songs off this boat. We are to stop and pick up supplies this afternoon. Maybe I can find a way then… *** It was just a tiny hamlet. Barely more than a supply drop. There was no one to give my songs to. Even worse, Gus stayed behind to try and recruit a few new crew. He was my one ally against Murphy. Now I am on my own entirely. It is still beautiful up in the clouds. They are constantly changing. Sometimes it is a sea of flat white, as far as the eye can see. Sometimes, brilliant oranges and reds as the sun begins to set. Other times, it is billowy castles rising up on all sides of us. Sailing through them is plunging into a fine mist that soaks your clothes in seconds. And the whistling wind cuts like a knife made of ice some days. Having a hearty constitution is a must up here. You are always wet, or cold, or simply exhausted. At least I can sometimes get away with retreating to my bunk to “work on the album.” Maybe if I finish this album, he'll let me off this damn boat.

It's been a while since I last published the Dragons vs. Pirates podcast. It's time to get off my arse and finish the job I started. The album is slowly proceeding forward. Over half of the songs are now recorded for the album. The latest was a Murphy shanty called “How Do We Steal From A Mighty Dragon”. Stay tuned and keep listening. I hope to have a new episode out every week until it is finished. *knock on wood* — Day 28. I haven’t written anything down lately, because we have been so busy! There have been a lot of red sightings–apparently, they are the most common–at least in this region. We haven’t actually caught one, which is all to the good as far as I am concerned. But it is making the pirates a bit touchy. I have been trying to raise their spirits with a lot of dragon-catching songs…though I would rather be writing “Save the Dragons” songs. There was a green dragon sighted today over a thick forest–this was a major deal! The greens are always really common in books and movies, but in real life, they are super rare. Trust me, seeing a green was terribly exciting. We sailed low over the trees chasing it, and all of a sudden–there were bullets ricocheting everywhere! We couldn’t see anyone in the forest, but someone down there was shooting at us with guns. They sounded like elephant guns. I was terrified! One of those bullets could have made my boys motherless. That thought kept my head down… almost to the deck. Luckily, the dragon got away. Thank goodness! Something that beautiful and majestic deserves to live a long and happy life… but don’t tell Murphy I said that. I am really hoping that the fact we haven’t managed to bag a dragon yet will make the pirates give up and go home soon. I'm so tired of flying…

It seems I forgot to post this show in time for the end of the Kickstarter. But that's okay. The album will still go on sale later this year. If you want to find out when the album will be released, please subscribe to my mailing list. This episode, you find out about our downtime at Sherwood Forest Faire as we make repairs to our recently damaged ship. Dragon fire is pretty intense. Don't forget to watch the Dragons vs. Pirates Continuing Story on YouTube. — Day 19. I had a great time at the Faire. Even tried out a couple of the Dragon songs I am working on for some friends of mine. They liked the music, but asked me where I had been hiding myself. I wanted to tell them all about it, and enlist their aid in getting free of the pirates, but there was always at least one crew member in spitting distance the whole time. I tried to sing it for them, thinking maybe I could give them a hint that would be enough–but nope. I don't know if they were dense, or my song wasn't specific enough, but it didn't work. Of course, I didn't much trust the peace ties on the pirates' swords if they decided I had gone too far. I did manage to borrow a phone charger for a few minutes, and get my phone to a state where it might be usable in a pinch. I couldn't get a full charge though, so I haven't called Gwen yet. I am saving it for an emergency–and I am also hoping for one of those dragon photos… It was a grand time, but it didn't last long enough. The pirates only gave me an hour or so of relative freedom before they bustled me off into the woods behind the property and hog tied me, gagged me, and carried me off to the ship again to work on repairs. I was terrible at it, but at least I got some exercise out of it. It's hard to stay in shape when your ship is a mile in the air. Still, I grabbed a turkey leg while I was at Faire, and some little mementos for Gwen and Kelsie. When I do get home, they will know I was thinking of them. We were able to repair the ship by nightfall–turned out not to be as bad as we had feared. A good night's rest in the clearing where we had put down, and we were off again first thing next morning.

We saw our first dragon on day 18–a red dragon. It was terrifying, but boy did it do some damage. I'm surprised I survived to tell the tale. If you're not yet subscribed to the Dragons vs. Pirates podcast, subscribe on iTunes and post a review. Then go make a pledge to sponsor the album on Kickstarter. — Day 18. It's been a couple of weeks since I made an entry. Well, that was because nothing much happened. We sailed through the air with a rotating lookout in the crow's nest, but all we saw were seagulls and crows. It did give the pirates a chance to practice with the harpoons. Far fewer people wandering around with bandages these days. Things changed this morning though. We were near some mountains, but I have no idea what mountains they could be. My geography is rusty, despite my degree, and my sense of direction is completely gone. Still, I was pretty sure there shouldn't be a range in this region… Anyway, there was another red dragon sighting today. This one was even larger than the last. The sun on its scales was almost blinding, like crimson fire. It was beautiful, but terrifying. We manned our stations. The dragon soared over the ship, roaring in defiance. Gus gave the order–well, it was really more of a request–and we set out in pursuit. We chased it through a valley and almost caught him, but he doubled back on us. The dragon belched out a gout of flame that caught the ship on fire and damaged a sail. While we were distracted trying to put out the fire, the dragon soared off again. I was really happy to see it get away. At this rate, I won't have to worry about killing a dragon. These pirates couldn't hit one if their life depended on it! I heard some of the crew talking. They said we're supposed to land outside Sherwood Forest Faire in Texas to make repairs. That's familiar territory, if not where he snagged me originally. Maybe I could get home from there. I realized that if I keep my phone off, it might build up enough charge for a quick 911 to Gwen while we are in Texas–some batteries do that, don't they? There's a chance at least. I'm keeping it hidden under my bunk until we land, just in case.

Captain Black Jack Murphy finally pulled me into his cabin to talk about why I was shanghaied and what his plans were for me on Day 4 of my experience. I stuck to my guns though. I wasn't about to do for me exactly what he wanted without providing some resistance. You'll hear what I mean in this week's episode. If you enjoy this show please rate it on iTunes today. If we can get 10-20 ratings in the next four days, we might be added to New & Noteworthy on iTunes! Remember you can still support the Kickstarter for Dragons vs. Pirates until April 20th. — Day 4. I finally understand why I was shanghaied. Murphy invited me to dinner in his cabin–well, “invited” is relative. One of the crew stuck a poorly written note in my hand while I swabbed the deck. It read “Be in my cabin for dinner at 6. Or else.” That sounded like Murphy. No use riling him though, so I showed up at his door at the given time. “Come in, come in!” he bellowed, in that loud voice I remembered so well. “I haven't seen you since ‘Kiss My Arse'!” “Kiss my arse…kiss my arse!” squawked his parrot. That molty old bird hasn't liked me since he had a close call with one of my cats. It was the first time I had seen Murphy since we worked together on Kiss My Arse. Over a fine meal of salted pork, roasted potatoes with onions, and apple pie, we talked of the good times we had compiling Pogue Mahone Means Kiss My Arse. And we did have some good times. Being a pirate didn't take away his sense of fun. After several tankards of rum, he told me he had heard I was allowing people to pirate my music, and he was all in favor of that. He didn't seem to understand the difference when I told him I was giving away my music… Anyway, he said we were more alike than I believed. Since we had such a good collaboration on Pogue Mahone Means Kiss My Arse, he decided I was the only person who would be able to help him with his next project. He wanted to make another album. He asked me to record some songs he had written, as well as others he had found about dragon hunting and pirates. He wants me to spread the legends of pirates vs dragons—apparently, there is trouble recruiting new crew these days. The music part sounds great. But he also wants me to experience the hunt first hand so I can get a “feel” for it, and make the music more powerful. After seeing that red up close yesterday, I really don't want to get any closer to them than absolutely necessary. So, after I left Murphy's cabin–listing a bit from side to side…I never was as good at putting away the rum as Murphy–I was in quite a quandary. I didn't want to hunt dragons, but I did want to get home…and if the only way to get home was to be present when the crew tried to harpoon a dragon, I guessed I was stuck. Still, I plan on participating to the least possible degree. I will be able to see some of the mythical beasts up close, though, so it will be a perk…and maybe I can get some really good songs out of the affair. The sighting yesterday has already put lyrics swimming around in my brain–now where did I put that pencil and paper Gus smuggled into me…?

On day 3, I saw my first dragon. It was one of the most-memorable moments of my life, up there with my marriage, my daughter's birth, and drinking with hobbits… I mean ALEP.  You will also find me interacting at last with my good friend Gus Mainsails. We've had a slight falling out of recent.  But that won't stop my goal to #SaveTheDragons. Find out more about the campaign through Kickstarter at celticmusic.org/DragonsVsPirates. If you enjoy this show please rate it on iTunes as soon as possible. If we can get 10-20 ratings in the next four days, we might be added to New & Noteworthy on iTunes! Other News from This Episode: Video Blog of Dragons vs. Pirates St Patrick's Day Internet Music Festival. I'm performing with Samantha Gillogly on Sunday, March 15th. Watch me perform later this morning! — Day 3. I overslept this morning–don't know how, under the circumstances, but I managed it. I looked at my watch, and it was almost noon. Murphy would have my head! Panicked, I ran up on deck, to find Gus manning the wheel. If I haven't said, Gus was the mate who actually did the kidnapping…though it was surely on Murphy's orders. “Gus!” I gasped. “What is going on here?” He roared with laughter. “Finally decided to wake up, did ya? Don't expect to sleep like that ever' morning, but the Captain thought a little leeway were in order. Now, get to your post. We should be coming up on a dragon or two before long.” “My post…?” “Oh, aye. You are going to have to earn your keep as long as yer here. Why don't you go up t' the crow's nest and look out for them dragons.” How exciting! I was so pumped. All my life I have been in love with dragons. I used to collect plastic ones. And now I had a chance to actually see one. It would be worth being away from Gwen and Kenzie for a little while–a very little while. As I climbed up to the crow's nest, I wondered what a real dragon would look like. Would it be like the ones in the British legends? Would it be like the Chinese luck dragons? Would it be a winged worm or a feathered serpent? There were so many types of dragons that I remember from my Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manual. As I sat in the crow's nest, I glanced up and suddenly–there it was. My first dragon. It was a red. Gus said later that it was a small one. But to me it was massive. I was terrified and hid in the bottom of the crow's nest. I couldn't believe the size of that creature. I peeked over the rim of the nest with my phone. I wanted to take a picture of it to show Gwen…but the battery was dead. How can I prove what I have seen to everyone back home? The dragon soared overhead, but we missed it with the harpoon. I was secretly happy it got away. And the crew…they went about their duties totally unmoved by the wave of dread I knew was on my face. I don't know how anyone could subject themselves to this life–to hunting such glorious, if scary, creatures. But that night, the crew told me stories of why they hunt. Their eyes sparkled as they recounted tales of gold hordes, dragon eggs, fistfuls of jewels. One sailor showed me a dragon tooth he wore around his neck. The sheer size of it! It was the size of my hand! Right then and there, I decided that, as much as I love the creatures, I don't really want to meet a dragon up close and personal.

Day 2 of captivity by the air pirate Capt. Black Jack Murphy and the Irish Stout leaves me wondering what makes an airship. I try to explain the types that I've discovered during my trip. You can find out more about Dragons vs. Pirates through my Kickstarter at celticmusic.org/DragonsVsPirates. — Day 2. It was only yesterday that I was shanghaied, but I am finding my “air legs”. When Murphy and I were recording Pogue Mahone Means Kiss My Arse several years back, we took a trip to the Gulf Coast. Murphy “rented” a boat and took me out on the ocean to get a feel for the rhythm behind the sea shanties we were recording. That was miserable. I found out that I am not a good sailor. I was seasick the whole time. It was just awful. Still, I did get a feel for the music. Flying above the clouds is completely different. I miss my family, but I also wish they were here. They would love this as much as I do. Flying through and above the clouds is incredible. I've been on airplanes before but an airship is just so fantastic. You feel the wind on your face, blowing through your hair—something that would be terrifying on an airplane is exhilarating with the deck of a good airship beneath your feet. I'm told, there are several types of airship, and the IRISH STOUT is definitely not what I usually think of. Some airships are basically like blimps, with huge balloon-like envelopes full of gas. Others use multiple hot air balloons to lift. But the IRISH STOUT is a third type…it seems to stay aloft by magic or something. Murphy keeps the sails unfurled, just like at sea, but they catch a lot more wind with no land to shape the breezes. Still, the ship weighs several tons, so what is keeping it flying? I have noticed a fine, sparkling dust covering the deck and rails. It is mostly gold, but there are flecks of silver, green, red, and blue mixed through it. I've managed to scrape samples of it into a little bag I found in a corner of the hold. When I get home, I will have it analyzed. I am wondering if it might be the source of the magic that holds us up. If it is, what is it made of? Where does it come from? Wondering about what it is keeps my mind off home…at least part of the time. I haven't seen any dragons yet, but I am keeping my eyes peeled. Although I have written songs about dragons, and performed even more, I have never actually caught more than a distant glimpse of one. I have always wanted to see a real dragon up close…

I am pleased to launch the first episode of Dragons vs. Pirates: The Truth Behind the Music. In this podcast, I will share an audio journal of my life-changing experience when I was shanghaied by air pirates two years ago. Episode #1, “Shanghaied by Air Pirates” tells the story of how it all happened. — I am making this record for my daughter Kenzie and my wife Gwen to preserve a memory of why I disappeared. After all, I was suddenly gone for several months. I am finally able to put those days into words. Especially since I stumbled across the journal I had written at the time. I only had a stub of pencil to write it in, so it took me awhile to decipher my own writing. But I am ready to share it with you now. Here's what happened during those missing weeks of my life. Day One: I was downstairs, working in my office, when I smelled the stench of hot coals. Now that's not something I normally smell in Birmingham, Alabama. So I went upstairs to see if I could determine where it came from. I was on my upstairs porch, looking across the stream in my backyard. Suddenly, a rope ladder descended from the clouds. A man jumped off the end of it, brandishing a cutlass! I didn't recognize him, but in my heart I knew he must work for Captain Black Jack Murphy, a pirate I met several years before. As you might recall, Murphy was once a sailor on the high seas. He turned pirate and quickly murdered his way up the ranks to become one of those names people fear in stories at night. Those days were fierce and deadly. Until the inevitable happened. The Royal Navy caught up with Murphy's ship the IRISH STOUT–there was a deadly firefight, but Murphy managed to slip the noose and get away with his ship barely intact. He spent the next few years on the run. That's when I met him. I thought he had mended his ways while we were recording an album of sea shanties together. He seemed to have put aside his pirating, but I was wrong. We finished the recording–and he stole the master tracks and disappeared once again. I didn't really begrudge the loss. He was pirate after all. What did I expect?! A couple of years later, he popped up on the college speaking circuit touting the virtues of piracy. I remember shaking my head and laughing when I heard that. It was just like Murphy. When the RIAA started witch-hunting music lovers, Murphy was there to give 'em two fingers. I heard from a friend that they tried to arrest him at the University of Nebraska for digital music piracy. That's when he vanished completely from the grid. No one had a clue where he had gone for quite some time. But now, here he was, kidnapping me. It turned out he had turned to air piracy and the lure of dragon gold. His First Mate, Gus, told me Murphy wanted me to chronicle his adventures once more. Little did they know that I love Dragons. I will do my best to make sure that the dragon will come out on top of any confrontation between Murphy and one of those glorious beasts. I can't tell where the ship is off to–or how he managed to make it fly–but I have no choice in the matter. I am well and truly shanghaied by air pirates. I'll be back with more details as soon as possible. For now, this is Marc Gunn, somewhere overhead. Slainte