I Am Not Calm Podcast

About the poets:Pippa is a mum with Autism and ADHD, she has two girls, and is creative in many ways, such as being able to play multiple instruments, making jewellery, crocheting, singing, and painting. She is passionate about people with learning disabilities being accepted and supported, rather than just tolerated. Her faith (Christianity) keeps her grounded, no matter what life throws at her.***Joe is a gay, autistic poet, living in Manchester. He uses poetry as a form of expression to record feelings and emotions that may otherwise be left unsaid, regularly performing at spoken word nights across the city. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today I share one of my own poems, and a poem by Julia Webb.About Julia:Julia’s ambitions to be a writer started when she was six-years-old and read The Enchanted Wood by Enid Blyton. She later did her degree in creative writing at at the age of 40, before going on to do an MA in poetry at the University of East Anglia.Her book can be found athttps://ninearchespress.com/publications/poetry-collections/grey-time Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today, I’m sharing poems by Majella Whittaker, and David Hardy.About the poets:Majella is a late identified autistic mum of 3 autistic boys. She is a full-time parent and carer and is a passionate writer and advocate - navigating the education system for 13 years, to get the right support for her children.***David has written his poem about his daughter. He began by writing poems for family and friends, then in 2023, he published his debut poetry collection, which is called Off-Beat Spark. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today, I’m sharing poems by two more writers to mark National Poetry Writing Month and World Autism Acceptance MonthAbout the poets:Rob Mason is a multi-disciplinary artist hailing from Blackpool. Under his current hat of ‘poet’, Rob’s work focuses on philosophical musings about life’s quandaries.An ardent supporter of promoting Blackpool in the best light, Rob was recently selected as one of the Southbank Centre’s 75th New Poets Collective and hopes that through this appointment he can raise the towns cultural profile and offering.***As well as writing poetry Karen writes fiction and is the author of young adult sci-fi novel Afterwards. She also teaches creative writing to adults at Warrington & Vale Royal college. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today I’m sharing poems from two poets for National Poetry Writing Month, and World Autism Acceptance Month.About the poets:Dawn has been writing for years, but only recently started to share her work. She been published online by Mike O’Brien in Sixty Odd Poets, by Tim Fellows in The Fig Tree and by Annie Acres in her Urban Scrawl.She also has two poems published in Ourselves Reflected Back, (Flux) anthology and soon to be published in The Fig Tree (Women’s Issue) anthology due this summer.Although Dawn is not autistic, her poem ‘My Way’ is inspired by a friend, who she would have no other way.***Joe is a gay, autistic poet, living in Manchester. He uses poetry as a form of expression to record feelings and emotions that may otherwise be left unsaid, regularly performing at spoken word nights across the city. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Todays poem is by Caroline Lisle. This is her first time taking part in something like this.To listen to more poems for World Autism Acceptance Month and National Poetry Writing Month, remember to subscribe to the podcast. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today’s poem is by Courtney Ward.About Courtney:Courtney has been published in several anthologies including “Our Time and Space” by Writing East Midlands, “Speak Out” by The Word Association, and Sisterhood anthology for Sisterhood Festival in Bradford, been a featured artist at Prickly Pear, and Speak your Mind, among others, and also, talked at and collaborated with local charities, and performed at festivals, such as Kettfest, and Corby Pride. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today, I’m sharing a poem written and read by Kate Rigby.I’m sharing poems throughout April to mark World Autism Acceptance Month, and National Poetry Writing Month.Please subscribe if you like what you hear. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today’s poem is by Kerry Brooks.Bio:Kerry Brooks is a writer based in Culcheth, Warrington. Drawn to a quieter and more meaningful life, she stepped away from corporate law to build her small, eco-conscious business, Iris Charles, rooted in heritage, storytelling and traditional craft. She is autistic and has ADHD, experiences that shape both her creative practice and her voice. She is currently writing her first chapter book for children. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today I’m sharing poems by Amanda Crundall, and Jaymes Buckman to mark World Autism Acceptance Month, and National Poetry Writing Month.About the poets:Amanda Crundall (a.k.a. “The Glam Poet”), is an accomplished and multi-faceted author, poet, spoken word performer, poetry workshop facilitator and radio presenter, at Beverley FM***Jaymes Buckman is a nonbinary, autistic, glam rock singer and a poet who has also dabbled in acting and modelling. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today, I share a poem sent in by Aysheh Marley.Bio:Aysheh Marley grew up not knowing about her early autism diagnosis because of how stigmatised it was back in the 80s. Instead, she believed she was didn’t fit in and was different but didn’t understand why.She’s currently on an ADHD waiting list and was diagnosed with autism in 2022.Aysheh has been writing poetry since she was a young child, and this has helped her to communicate and express her thoughts and emotions. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today we have a poem by Rachel, as part of National Poetry Writing Month and World Autism Acceptance Month (not day, as I accidentally said in the intro, oops!)About Rachel:Rachel describes herself as having felt out of step with the world, because of her autism, ADHD, and RSD. She grew up believing she was flawed and didn’t belong, carrying that weight into adulthood. She finally found the support she needed. Her journey of self-discovery transformed her perspective, and led to her embracing her neurodivergence. Now, she’s a proud advocate, committed to paving a smoother path for others who have experienced similar struggles. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today I share a poem by Caroline CareyAbout Caroline:Caroline is a neurodivergent writer and creative guide whose work draws on decades of intuitive understanding, cultivated through childhood, motherhood, and a professional life devoted to soul-led exploration. She creates deeply held spaces for personal growth, blending emotional intelligence, practical spiritual tools, and time-honoured traditions to help individuals uncover their unique talents and move through the world with grace and a grounded connection to nature.Recognising sensory sensitivities and limiting beliefs as both roots and pathways to insight, she supports others in accessing their innate wisdom and rediscovering their soul’s purpose. For over thirty years, Caroline has walked alongside individuals through creative and reflective practices, exploring origin stories, embodiment, and the subtle guidance of intuition. She carries a shamanic medicine bag woven with spirit songs and traditional tools, and she works with the wisdom of Animism to illuminate hidden disabilities and life patterns.Where soul meets story, Caroline guides others to remember their calling, reclaim their inner knowing, and bring their unique gifts fully into the world.https://middleearthmedicine.com/product/the-neurodivergent-soul/ Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

 Today's poem is by Mary Maier.Bio: Mary is an AuDHD writer of poetry, short stories, flash fiction, novels and screenplays. She is a former solo mobile equine veterinarian who left the extraordinary stress of that life to become an organic farmer close to mother ocean. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today, I share one of my own poems called ‘What Unmasking Feels Like’.About me (Amanda)Amanda Nicholson is an author, poet, podcast co-host and copywriter. Her recent self-published novel has the memorable title ‘Death to All Men’. Amanda’s poetry has been broadcast on BBC Radio Manchester, and she won the Bradford Cares 2023 Competition. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Today, I share a poem written by Lee McShane.***About Lee:Lee McShane is a Neurodivergent actor, filmmaker, and published writer/poet. He integrates neurodivergence into his creative work, often blending themes of mental health with elements of horror. His storytelling challenges stigma, offering unique perspectives shaped by lived experience and a passion for authentic, emotionally resonant, and genre-bending narratives. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

I spoke to Jackie Schuld about her late-diagnosis, writing four books about autism, and art therapy.About JackieJackie Schuld is an autistic writer and art therapist who specializes in late-identified autism and ADHD. She has written several books, including ‘Life as a Late-Identified Autistic: A Collection of Essays Exploring Autism’ where she details her experiences as a late-identified autistic.Her website is: https://www.jackieschuld.com/***I Am Not Calm now has a Facebook group.https://www.facebook.com/groups/2357002358082119 Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

I spoke to Jaymes Buckman about discovering their autism early in life, embracing ‘weirdness’, and finding acceptance from the right people.About Jaymes Buckman:Jaymes is a nonbinary, autistic, glam rock singer and a poet who has also dabbled in acting and modelling.https://linktr.ee/hotapollo***I Am Not Calm now has a Facebook grouphttps://www.facebook.com/groups/2357002358082119 Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

I talk to J. M. shaw about her lifelong love of writing, discovering her neurodivergence and self-acceptance.About J.M ShawJ.M. Shaw lives in Airdrie, Alberta, with her husband and two young children. She and her family embarked upon a journey of understanding, acceptance, and life-long learning when they discovered their shared diagnosis of autism and ADHD. Writing is her passion and, with experience and interests in healthcare, psychology, martial arts, and personal training, she pours her unique insights and knowledge into all her creative fictions.https://jmshawauthor.com/I Am Not Calm now has a Facebook group.https://www.facebook.com/groups/2357002358082119 Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

This week, I talk about when I regretted not mentioning my autism, getting rejected from a job - possibly because I disclosed, and (hopefully) finally finding regular freelance work and being accepted for who I am. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

I talk to Corrie Hermans about her combined special interest and career, getting diagnosed, and growing up in a neurodivergent family.About Corrie: Marketing Director by day, Broadway enthusiast by night. Corrie Hermans combines an AuDHD brain with strategic expertise to build brands that resonate. Passionate about neuro-inclusive leadership, creative storytelling, and making sure every campaign, like every great musical, hits all the right notes.Blings: https://blings.io/Grether’s: https://www.grethersusa.com/*** I Am Not Calm now has a Facebook group.https://www.facebook.com/groups/2357002358082119 Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

This week, I share what will probably be the single from the ep I’m working on with my husband, mixing spoken word and music. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

This week, I talk to Ivan Weiss. We discuss his late autism self-diagnosis and how the assessment process has potential flaws, as well as his special interest in photography and how he made this into a career.About Ivan:Ivan Weiss is a London-based portrait and headshot photographer, educator, and creative business owner. For over a decade he’s built a sustainable career working with actors, artists, and cultural institutions, while also mentoring emerging creatives and developing tools for the photographic community.In his forties, Ivan began to recognise patterns in his life that led him to discover — and self-diagnose — that he is autistic, a realisation that reframed much of his life, from burnout and pattern-thinking to creativity, communication, and the way he runs his business. He speaks candidly about navigating the creative industries as a neurodivergent adult, balancing structure with intuition, and building a working life that honours both artistic integrity and personal wellbeing.Links:https://ivanweiss.london/https://www.instagram.com/ivanweiss.london/https://www.threads.net/@ivanweiss.london/https://www.linkedin.com/in/ivanweiss-london/https://vero.co/ivanweiss/https://www.tiktok.com/@ivanweiss.london/https://www.facebook.com/ivanweiss.london/https://twitter.com/IvanWeissLondon/https://bsky.app/profile/ivanweiss-london.bsky.socialhttp://www.youtube.com/c/IvanWeiss-london/***I Am Not Calm now has a Facebook group.https://www.facebook.com/groups/2357002358082119 Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

This week, I use a study I read recently as the springboard to address some of the challenges I and other autistic people face when trying to make and keep friends.The link to the full study in full can be found at:https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/socf.70005***I Am Not Calm now has a Facebook group.https://www.facebook.com/groups/2357002358082119 Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

This week, I talk to Bethany Johns. We cover a lot of ground, including her autism diagnosis at age 15, and her experiences of college, university and work.About Bethany:Bethany is an autistic neurodiversity strategist whose mission is to change the way workplaces see and support Neurodivergent minds. Through her own lived experiences and agency expertise, she approaches Neurodiversity through realistic and actionable changes. She is in the process of developing a Neurodivergent professionals support network in Nottinghamshire, and shares low-spoons resources for coping in the workplace on social media.https://www.instagram.com/reasonableadjustments/https://www.linkedin.com/in/bethany-johns-369684113/***I Am Not Calm now has a Facebook group.https://www.facebook.com/groups/2357002358082119 Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Instead of January resolutions, I’ve decided to try new things outside of my comfort zone in an attempt to overcome my issues with attending social events alone. This week I talk about Burlesque dancing, scream club and a new local autism/ADHD group.*** I Am Not Calm now has a Facebook group.https://www.facebook.com/groups/2357002358082119/ Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Why talking about the negative parts of being autistic is just as important of talking about our positive experiences.***I Am Not Calm now has it’s own Facebook grouphttps://www.facebook.com/groups/2357002358082119 Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

After a short break, the podcast is coming back. Before that, I explain a little about how I create/record the podcast and why, and what to expect over the next few months. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

This week I talk about doubts about being autistic or ‘not autistic enough’, and how to find online autism support. I also give an update on my experience with Right to Choose.I Am Not Calm | Amanda Nicholson | Substack Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

This week, I talk about some of my own and other people’s experiences of finding work while being openly autistic, and the way employers undervalue autistic people. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Waiting for my autism assessment and apparently, waiting to go on the waiting list! Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

This week, I talk about discovering the calming effects of classical music, and acceptable ways to stim at gigs without anyone noticing or caring. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

Just in time for National Poetry Day on 2nd October, I’m joined by Andy N, Courtney Ward and Joe Tetley, who share their fantastic and thought-provoking poems. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

This week, I talk about a few of my job applications where I wrongly thought my lived experiences would help, and an unpleasant experience that an autistic employee had when working for an organisation whose purpose it is to help autistic people. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

I recently had an article published about bullying and autism. Having already had an article about masking published by Stylist, I knew that not everyone would be so understanding. So, I decided to avoid the comment section.However, a few days later, I realised that if I’m trying to encourage more autistic people to speak out to (hopefully) build awareness and understanding, I need to stop hiding from things like this.So, in this episode, I went through the comments and responded to some of them on this podcast. There were 172 in total, so it was impossible to address them all, but many were along the same lines anyway. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe

I felt like I had to say something, because nobody is pretending to be autistic and nobody self-diagnoses without doing a lot of research first. Get full access to I Am Not Calm at iamnotcalm.substack.com/subscribe