I See What You're Saying

What does it actually mean to close the gap between what you think you said and what your audience actually heard?In this episode, Michael Reddington sits down with Dr. Laura Sicola, a cognitive linguist and executive communication coach who helps leaders master communication and executive presence. Dr. Sicola works with senior leaders, business owners, and professionals across Fortune 500 companies to help them translate their expertise so it lands with clarity, credibility, and impact.This conversation is packed with practical tools for anyone who has ever walked away from a conversation wondering why their message didn't land. Dr. Sicola breaks down the expert's curse, the hidden cost of trying to sound smart, and how the alignment between your words, voice, and body language either builds or destroys credibility in real time.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhat the expert's curse is and why deep knowledge is often the biggest obstacle to clear communicationWhy trying to sound smart usually backfires and what to do insteadHow analogies and metaphors bypass conscious processing and create instant comprehensionThe simple one-minute video exercise that reveals the gap between your intent and your actual deliveryWhy credibility depends on aligning your verbal, vocal, and visual channelsHow to stop telegraphing your nerves without faking confidenceWhy adjusting your communication style for different audiences is not inauthenticity, it is self-awarenessHow Dr. Sicola's Listening to Understand protocol creates the conditions for genuine resolution in any conflictAbout the GuestDr. Laura Sicola is a cognitive linguist, executive communication coach, and the author of Speaking to Influence. She helps leaders close the gap between what they think they said and what their audience actually heard, translating technical expertise into messages that move people to action. She is the founder of Vocal Impact Productions and speaks and coaches across industries worldwide.Chapters(00:00) Introduction to Dr. Laura Sicola and the Expert's Curse(04:32) Why Trying to Sound Smart Makes You Less Persuasive(06:07) The Most Counterintuitive Advice on Executive Communication(07:17) How to Simplify Without Dumbing It Down(17:30) Using Analogies and Metaphors to Speak to the Unconscious Mind(23:34) The One-Minute Video Exercise That Changes Everything(31:14) Verbal, Vocal, and Visual: The Three Channels of Credibility(39:42) Authenticity Is Not a Fixed Point: The Prismatic Voice Framework(45:23) The Listening to Understand ProtocolLinks and ResourcesDr. Laura Sicola's Website: https://www.laurasicola.comSpeaking to Influence by Dr. Laura Sicola: https://laurasicola.com/shop/Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What does it actually take to see trouble coming before it derails your conversations?In this solo episode, Michael Reddington breaks down one of the foundational pillars of the Disciplined Listening Method: situational awareness. Drawing on research from Air Force scientist Mica Endsley and John Boyd's OODA loop, Michael explains how the same awareness framework used to keep pilots and soldiers safe can transform the way professionals navigate high-stakes conversations.This episode gives you a practical framework for understanding all the variables at play before, during, and after any consequential conversation. If you've ever walked away from a difficult exchange wishing you had seen it coming, this one is for you.Michael walks through the three phases of situational awareness (perception, comprehension, and projection) and maps them directly to communication strategy. He then introduces six specific factors that shape every conversation, from the assumptions we bring to the environment we choose, and explains why failing to account for any one of them is often what creates the resistance, the missed signals, and the unexpected outcomes we'd rather avoid.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy the most common situational awareness failure is not missing information, but failing to look at the right information at the right timeThe three phases of situational awareness and how to apply each one before a high-stakes conversationSix factors that shape how every conversation unfolds and why most people only consider one or two of themHow expectations and preconceived notions quietly limit your ability to observe accuratelyWhy the most consequential conversations are often the ones with the softest perceived consequencesHow goal clarity before a conversation directly determines the quality of your decisions during itChapters(00:00) Introduction: Situational Awareness as a Communication Tool(00:54) From Physical Safety to Strategic Communication(01:52) Defining Situational Awareness Operationally(04:32) Mica Endsley's Three Phases: Perception, Comprehension, and Projection(06:12) The OODA Loop and Why You Miss What's Right in Front of You(08:27) What Blocks Situational Awareness: Distractions, Dynamics, and Assumptions(10:49) The Six Factors Shaping Every Conversation(16:36) How Awareness of All Six Factors Elevates Your Communication StrategyLinks and ResourcesThe Disciplined Listening Method by Michael Reddington -- https://a.co/d/0aKT2oxRSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What if the key to developing yourself and your team isn't more training, but more honesty about where your "weapon system" actually stands?In this episode, Michael Reddington sits down with Dr. Keith Castille, CEO and co-founder of C2H (Connecting Heads to Hearts) and a retired U.S. Air Force veteran with 28 and a half years of service, including roles in talent management and at the Pentagon. Dr. Castille brings a rare combination of military precision and deep human development expertise to his work helping individuals, teams, and organizations unlock their full potential.This conversation is a masterclass in what it really means to develop people, not just manage them. Dr. Castille introduces the concept of the human weapon system, explains how to shift from judgment to curiosity when assessing others, and shares the hard-earned lessons from his own transition out of the military that most people only share after they've figured it out.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhat a "human weapon system" actually means and why it has nothing to do with conflict or violenceWhy meeting people where they are is more effective than holding them to a standard they haven't been givenHow to shift from judgment to curiosity to open people up instead of shutting them downWhat timing, temperature, and tone have to do with whether your conversations move people forward or backwardWhy the way people see themselves and the way others see them is almost never the same, and what to do about itWhat the hardest part of military transition really looks like when the emails stop and the phone goes quietHow building a coaching culture starts with spending more time asking questions than delivering answersWhy ownership matters more than solutions when working with individuals and organizationsChapters(00:00) Introducing Dr. Keith Castille and C2H(05:53) What Is a Human Weapon System?(09:14) Meeting People Where They Are, Not Where You Want Them to Be(14:02) The Shift from Judgment to Curiosity(18:24) Assessing Individuals Without Comparing Them to Anyone Else(23:01) The Hidden Difficulty of Military Transition(30:24) Aligning Strategic Intent with Operational Reality(40:29) Developing Patience and a Coaching Mindset(44:20) Timing, Temperature, and Tone in Every Conversation(51:01) How to Build Self-Awareness in Leaders Who Don't Know They Need ItAbout the GuestDr. Keith Castille is the CEO and co-founder of C2H (Connecting Heads to Hearts), a workforce solutions company specializing in leadership development, AI integration, gender-based violence policy, and organizational transformation. He retired from the U.S. Air Force in 2024 after 28 and a half years of service, including work in talent management and at the Pentagon. Since retiring, Dr. Castille has worked with companies and organizations across the globe, including in Zambia, and has built C2H into a team of problem-solvers committed to meaningful, mission-driven work.Links and ResourcesC2H Connecting Heads to Hearts - https://www.c2htransform.com/Dr. Keith Castille | LinkedIn - Linkedinlinkedin.com/in/keith-castille- Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

Why People Don't Always Tell You the TruthWhat if the people in your life aren't holding back because they're dishonest? What if it's because of something you're doing, or not doing?In this solo episode, Michael Reddington breaks down the three categories of factors that cause people to withhold the truth, and more importantly, what leaders can do to make honesty feel safer, more likely, and more consistent.Drawing from investigative interviewing, behavioral psychology, and real-world leadership scenarios, Michael walks through how past experiences, your approach, and the conversation environment all work together to either open people up or shut them down. This episode is a practical reset for anyone who's ever felt frustrated that someone wasn't being straight with them.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy people have more motivation to withhold information than to share it, and what you can do about itHow past negative experiences with authority figures get transferred directly onto you before you say a single wordWhy publicizing consequences as a deterrent almost never works on the people you actually need it to work onHow implied expected answers set people up to give you the "right" answer instead of the true oneWhy your title as a leader actually makes people less honest with you, not moreHow the channel, timing, location, and audience for a conversation can determine whether someone tells you the truthThe difference between short-term tactical goals and long-term strategic goals in conversation, and why it mattersWhat your counterpart needs to experience before they'll feel safe enough to be honest with youChapters(00:00) Introduction: Why People Don't Tell You the Truth(01:35) Category 1: Experiences and Expectations(02:54) The Lesson Your Consequences Actually Teach(05:18) Why Publicizing Punishment Rarely Deters the People You Think It Will(07:46) Being a Celebrity in Your Own Ecosystem(10:31) Category 2: Your Approach(11:36) Channel, Tone, Word Choice, and Who's in the Room(15:36) Lowest Common Denominator Theory(17:27) Category 3: The Environment(22:53) Wrapping Up: Situational Awareness, Goal Orientation, and What People Need to ExperienceLinks and ResourcesThe Disciplined Listening Method by Michael Reddington: https://a.co/d/0aKT2oxRSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What if the way you speak is actually telling people whether or not you deserve to lead?In this episode, Michael Reddington sits down with Lauren Sergy, a communication expert and author with a background spanning radio, corporate communications, classical rhetoric, and the performing arts. Lauren has built a career helping leaders and organizations master the science, art, and alchemy of speaking so that their message lands with the right people in the right way.This conversation covers the full landscape of strategic communication for leaders, from building authentic executive presence to applying ancient rhetorical principles in modern high-stakes conversations. Lauren brings a rare combination of academic rigor and practical playfulness to topics that most people either overlook entirely or get completely backwards.Lauren unpacks what it really means to speak the language of leadership, why the most dangerous thing a leader can do is be unpredictable, and how the three pillars of classical rhetoric can help anyone diagnose communication breakdowns in real time. She also makes a compelling case for why leaning too heavily on AI to write your communication isn't just a style problem — it's a trust problem.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhat executive presence actually is and why it has nothing to do with being the smartest or toughest person in the roomWhy the person speaking up to a leader carries all the risk and what leaders must do to change that dynamicHow to use ethos, logos, and pathos to diagnose and fix communication breakdowns before they derail a conversationWhy trying to imitate another leader's style almost always backfires and what to do insteadHow to listen for the words your audience uses and mirror them back to move people from anxiety to confidenceWhy unpredictability is one of the most damaging things a leader can bring to a teamThe real problem with using AI to write speeches and internal communicationsWhy the ability to speak extemporaneously will become one of the most valuable leadership differentiators as AI becomes more commonChapters:(00:00) Welcome and Introduction to Lauren Sergy(03:28) What the Language of Leadership Actually Is(06:29) How to Develop Your Own Executive Presence Without Imitating Anyone Else(12:31) Adapting Your Communication to Different Industries and Audiences(17:14) Why Whoever Speaks Up the Ladder Carries All the Risk(24:35) Ethos, Logos, and Pathos as a Real-Time Communication Diagnostic(33:05) How to Move Someone's Thinking While Keeping Their Trust(39:04) How Well Does AI Actually Handle Communication?(45:32) Why Extemporaneous Speaking Will Become a Leadership DifferentiatorLinks and ResourcesLauren Sergy | LinkedInUp Front Communication with Lauren Sergy: Speaker, Author, TrainerAbout the GuestLauren Sergy is a communication expert, speaker, and author with a passion for the art, science, and alchemy of interpersonal communication. Her background includes radio, corporate communications, classical rhetoric, and the performing arts. She works with leaders and organizations to help them understand how to make their message impactful — whether it's a technical briefing for the C-suite or a keynote at an industry conference.Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What if the lies you receive every day are actually opportunities to get closer to the truth?In this solo episode, Michael Reddington breaks down one of the most misunderstood dynamics in human communication: lying. Not the dramatic, malicious kind that makes headlines, but the everyday lies that show up in our professional relationships, family conversations, and negotiations. The ones most of us are conditioned to meet with anger, judgment, and accusation, which almost always makes things worse.Michael unpacks the psychology behind why people lie, the five forms lies take, and how shifting your approach from catching lies to understanding them can dramatically improve your outcomes. This episode will challenge the way you think about honesty, dishonesty, and what it actually means to pursue the truth.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy getting angry when someone lies to you usually makes things worseThe two broad categories of lies and why one is viewed as more trustworthy than telling the truthThe single most common reason adults lie in most situationsThe five forms lies take and which ones you encounter most often without realizing itWhy directly accusing someone of lying almost always forces them to lie moreHow to use ground truth to protect yourself before and after high-stakes conversationsWhy it is okay to be lied to and how to use that moment to move closer to the truthChapters:(00:00) Why You Need to Stop Getting Mad When Someone Lies to You(02:34) The Two Categories of Lies: Self-Serving vs. Pro-Social(04:02) The Real Reason Most Adults Lie Most of the Time(05:11) The Five Forms Lies Take and How to Recognize Them(08:11) We All Lie: Rethinking Your Relationship with Dishonesty(10:40) Why Lying Is Often Someone's Last Available Good Decision(13:27) Truth Default Theory and the Honest Truth About Dishonesty(16:12) Look for the Truth, Not the Lie: Avoiding Confirmation Bias(19:05) How to Increase Situational Familiarity and Establish Ground Truth(25:34) Strategic Questions, Red Flags, and Building Relationships That Make Honesty EasierLinks and Resources:The Disciplined Listening Method by Michael ReddingtonLiespotting by Pamela MeyerDuped by Timothy LevineThe Honest Truth About Dishonesty by Dan ArielySponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)About Michael ReddingtonMichael Reddington is a Certified Forensic Interviewer and the president of InQuasive, Inc. He teaches leaders, investigators, and professionals how to use the principles of disciplined listening and non-confrontational interviewing to get to the truth, build stronger relationships, and make better decisions. His work draws on behavioral psychology, investigative interviewing, and real-world application to help people navigate the most important conversations of their lives.Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What does it really mean to lead with your heart when the work is hard, the pressure is relentless, and you're still carrying your own baggage?In this episode, Michael Reddington sits down with Josh Rizzo, a West Point graduate, Bronze Star recipient, and leadership consultant with over 30 years of experience developing leaders on the battlefield, in the boardroom, and on job sites across the country. Josh works at the intersection of elite performance, mental health, and human connection, helping organizations in construction, defense, and beyond build cultures where people can actually thrive.Josh brings a rare combination of military discipline and deep emotional intelligence to this conversation, and the result is one of the most grounded, practical discussions on heart-centered leadership you'll hear. He breaks down why leaders must heal themselves before they can truly serve others, how to build trust by choosing curiosity over judgment, and why the biggest breakthroughs in organizations almost always start with the smallest changes.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy effective leadership starts with looking inward before you can genuinely lead othersHow the airplane analogy reframes your responsibility to yourself, your inner circle, and your teamWhat it means to choose curiosity over judgment and how that one shift changes the entire dynamic of a conversationWhy forgiving yourself is harder than forgiving others and why it matters more than most leaders realizeHow the sun and moon framework helps people connect through their shadow side rather than just their highlightsWhat "islands of progress" are and how to create bottom-up change that people actually ownWhy big doors swing on little hinges and how to find the small changes that move the biggest systemsHow to listen with your ears, your eyes, and your heart and why so few people actually do itChapters:(00:00) Introduction to Josh Rizzo and Heart-Centered Leadership(03:57) What It Means to Lead While Balancing Mental Health Awareness(05:24) The Airplane Analogy: Starting with Yourself Before Your Team(10:44) Curiosity Over Judgment: Pairing Candor with Compassion(14:34) How to Show Up Authentically Without Being Performative(16:39) Self-Forgiveness, Accepting Your Shadow Side, and the Sun and Moon Framework(20:47) Creating Islands of Progress: Bottom-Up Change That Sticks(30:54) Big Doors Swing on Little Hinges: Finding the Small Changes That Matter(37:19) The Most Beautiful Thing We Can Do Is Listen(43:54) Honoring the Umwelt: Why Two People Can Share the Same Environment and Have Completely Different ExperiencesLinks and Resources:Josh Rizzo | Website - https://www.joshrizzohuman.comJosh Rizzo | LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/josh-rizzo/Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What if everything you think you know about reading people is actually working against you?In this solo episode, Michael Reddington breaks down the most common myths and misconceptions surrounding listening, nonverbal communication, and detecting deception, and explains why acting on them can cause real harm to your relationships and your results.From crossed arms to eye contact to the stories we tell ourselves before a conversation even starts, Michael walks through the specific mental traps that cause us to misread people, misattribute behavior, and make decisions based on confirmation rather than clarity. He also shares two personal stories, one from an interrogation and one from a car dealership, that illustrate how our own assumptions can create the very problems we are trying to solve.This episode is a foundational piece for anyone serious about developing the situational awareness it takes to observe, interpret, and respond to human behavior with accuracy and intention.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy the complexity of everyday communication is compounded by factors most people never stop to considerThe real reasons people cross their arms and why defensiveness is rarely the right interpretationWhat research across 75 countries revealed about eye contact and deceptionWhy behaviors associated with lying are almost always signals of discomfort insteadWhy multitasking is the arch enemy of listening and efficiency is the arch enemy of great communicationHow to stop mistaking what is focal for what is causal, and correlation for causalityTwo checkpoint questions to ask yourself during and after every high-stakes conversationChapters(00:00) Introduction: Why Listening Misconceptions Are Dangerous(00:41) The Factors That Compound Communication Complexity(04:02) Busting the Crossed Arms Myth(06:36) The Truth About Eye Contact and Deception(08:34) What Discomfort Actually Signals(12:35) The Many Reasons People Show Discomfort(15:17) Multitasking and Efficiency as the Enemies of Listening(17:39) Mistaking What Is Focal for What Is Causal(21:06) Listening to Learn vs. Listening to Verify(23:45) Two Checkpoint Questions That Build Situational AwarenessLinks and Resources:The Disciplined Listening Method by Michael Reddington - https://a.co/d/02ZfcnZmSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What if the emotions you've been trying to control are the very reason you stay stuck?In this episode, Cedric walks Michael through how the brain actually constructs emotion, why the way most of us were taught to manage our feelings keeps those patterns locked in place, and what it looks like to genuinely resolve an emotion rather than just regulate it. The conversation covers trauma, interoception, the three levels of emotion, the "not good enough" belief, and the difference between being kind and being ethical as a coach, parent, or leader.Cedric Bertelli is the founder and director of the Emotional Health Institute and the creator of Emotional Resolution (EmRes), a groundbreaking method rooted in neuroscience and the psychology of emotions. With over 15 years of experience developing and delivering this work, Cedric leads a team of dedicated professionals and trains mental health professionals and educators across the United States to help individuals and communities achieve lasting emotional well-being.What You'll LearnHow the brain uses prediction to construct emotion and why that matters for changing your patternsWhy emotional regulation (deep breaths, counting to 10) can actually prevent resolutionThe three levels of emotion: conscious, unconscious, and subconscious, and how to work with eachThe critical difference between being kind and being ethical as a coach, parent, or leaderWhy the "I'm not good enough" belief is always a symptom, never the root causeHow AI companionship can deepen emotional isolation rather than resolve itChapters(00:00) - Introduction and Welcome(02:52) - How the Brain Constructs Emotion Through Prediction(06:48) - What Trauma Really Is and How Emotional Patterns Form(11:13) - Interoception: Feeling Emotions in the Body, Not the Head(13:16) - Why Controlling Emotions Keeps You Stuck(18:01) - How to Help Others Without Controlling Them(28:24) - The Three Levels of Emotion: Conscious, Unconscious, and Subconscious(33:55) - Working Through the "I'm Not Good Enough" Belief(36:09) - The Difference Between Being Kind and Being Ethical(37:23) - How AI Is Affecting Our Emotional LivesAbout the GuestCedric Bertelli has over 15 years of experience developing and delivering Emotional Resolution (EmRes), a groundbreaking method that helps people overcome emotional difficulties by tapping into their innate physiological capacity. As the founder and director of the Emotional Health Institute, Cedric leads a team of dedicated professionals who share his vision of empowering individuals and communities to achieve emotional well-being. He draws on his extensive knowledge of neuroscience, the psychology of emotions, and philosophy, as well as his own personal and professional experience transforming lives with EmRes.Links and ResourcesCedric Bertelli | LinkedInEmotional Resolution with Cedric BertelliWhat Is EmRes? | Emotional Health InstituteSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

Most people walk into high-stakes conversations asking the wrong question. Michael Reddington breaks down the preparation strategy he developed from investigative interviewing and has applied for nearly two decades to negotiations, leadership conversations, performance discussions, and even high-stakes family situations.In this episode, Michael walks through the WTSO framework (Weaknesses, Threats, Strengths, Opportunities) and the 7 strategic preparation questions that form the bedrock of every high-impact conversation he and his team facilitate.You'll learn how to flip the script before you ever walk into the room.What You'll Learn:Why the traditional SWOT analysis can work against you in conversationsHow to reframe your preparation around weaknesses and threats firstThe single question that unlocked a confession when two agencies had already failedWhy asking "what do I need to say?" is the wrong questionThe 7 preparation questions that apply to any high-stakes conversationHow to double-check your strategy before you ever open your mouthChapters:(00:00) - Welcome and Episode Overview(00:50) - Why "Put Yourself in Their Shoes" Falls Short(02:41) - Flipping the SWOT: The WTSO Approach(05:52) - Starting with Weaknesses and Threats(06:55) - Using Weaknesses to Elevate Perceived Strengths(08:36) - The Case That Changed Everything(09:29) - The Napkin on the Plane(11:46) - The 7 Strategic Preparation Questions(12:39) - Question 3: Context Is King(13:29) - Why Shouldn't They? The Core Preparation Question(14:41) - Shifting From "What Do I Say?" to "What Do They Need to Experience?"(16:25) - The Final Check: Does Your Plan Match Your Goals?(17:30) - Putting It All Together(18:10) - Recap of the WTSO Framework and 7 QuestionsLinks and Resources:The Disciplined Listening Method: How A Certified Forensic Interviewer Unlocks Hidden Value in Every Conversation (https://a.co/d/01f8KGqU)Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What does it actually mean to "hold the calm" when everything around you is falling apart?In this episode, Michael Reddington sits down with Hesha Abrams, an acclaimed master attorney mediator, negotiator, and deal maker with over 30 years of experience resolving high-profile, high-stakes conflicts, including mediating the dispute over the private recipe for Pepsi. Hesha is also the author of Holding the Calm: The Secret to Resolving Conflict and Reducing Tension.This conversation is packed with immediately applicable strategies for anyone who leads difficult conversations, navigates conflict, or needs to move people toward resolution without losing their own footing in the process.Hesha breaks down the neuroscience behind why telling someone to calm down backfires every time, how to read the room before a single word is spoken, and why most people are not trying to win. They are trying not to lose. That distinction alone will change how you approach your next negotiation.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy "calm down" makes conflict worse and what to say to yourself insteadHow the amygdala shuts down rational thinking and what it takes to reset itThe three diagnostic questions Hesha uses to read anyone in under five minutesWhy high emotions are diagnostic information, not obstacles to manageThe difference between gratitude and validation and why one is almost always the wrong moveHow to use the VUCS framework to move any conversation toward resolutionWhy the quietest person in the room almost always holds the most powerHow blame signals low emotional maturity and what to do insteadWhy most people are trying not to lose, not trying to win, and how that changes your strategyHow to close commitments by giving people the ability to say noChapters:(00:00) Introduction to Hesha Abrams and Holding the Calm(04:27) What "Holding the Calm" Really Means and the Neuroscience Behind It(08:19) The Three Diagnostic Questions to Read Anyone Quickly(11:28) Why High Emotions Are Diagnostic, Not Just Symptoms(16:41) Gratitude vs. Validation and Why the Difference Matters(21:13) How We Were Conditioned to Communicate Like Kids(22:44) Why Blame Never Solves Anything and What to Do Instead(26:18) Winning vs. Not Losing: The Hidden Driver in Every Negotiation(27:30) Situational Awareness as the Antidote to Narcissism(32:28) How to Claim Your Space Without Blame(41:45) How Much Conflict Is Actually Avoidable(43:01) Using Validation to Defuse Contentious Conversations(45:49) How to Close Commitments Without PressureLinks and Resources:HoldingTheCalm.com - https://www.holdingthecalm.com/HeshaAbramsMediation.com - https://www.heshaabramsmediation.com/Hesha Abrams | LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/hesha-abrams-esq/Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What if you’re not just listening… but missing the most important information?In this episode, Michael Reddington breaks down how elite investigative interviewers don’t just listen for words, they listen for intelligence.That means understanding what’s said, what’s not said, and how context, behavior, and environment all influence what’s really happening in a conversation.This episode will challenge common myths about communication, including body language, eye contact, and “tells,” and replace them with a clear, practical system for improving your observation accuracy.If you want to make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and stop missing critical information in conversations, this episode gives you the framework to do it.Chapters:(00:00) - What It Means to Listen for Intelligence(01:07) - The Truth About Investigative Interviewing(02:22) - Clarifying Goals Before the Conversation(04:07) - Why Withholding Judgment Matters(05:13) - Separating the Message from the Messenger(06:11) - Why Context Is Everything(08:36) - Creating the Right Environment for Conversations(12:24) - The Importance of Preparation and Ground Truth(15:17) - Building a Behavioral Baseline(18:15) - Identifying Shifts in Comfort and Behavior(20:11) - Why Single-Factor Thinking Fails(23:11) - Final Takeaways and ApplicationLinks and Resources:The Disciplined Listening Method: How A Certified Forensic Interviewer Unlocks Hidden Value in Every Conversation by Michael ReddingtonSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What does it really take to draw someone’s story out of them?In this episode, Michael Reddington sits down with ghostwriter and nonfiction strategist Jennifer Locke to explore how powerful listening, trust, and patience help uncover the stories people struggle to tell.From building deep trust with clients to identifying the central event that shapes a narrative, Jennifer shares how her approach to “therapeutic listening” allows authors to open up, process their experiences, and bring clarity to their message.This conversation goes far beyond writing.It applies to leaders, coaches, interviewers, and anyone responsible for understanding and representing someone else’s story.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhat “therapeutic listening” looks like in practiceHow to build trust before asking someone to share their storyWhy removing judgment is critical to great communicationHow to identify the central event in someone’s storyWhy patience allows better insights to emerge over timeHow to guide conversations without taking controlThe importance of helping others feel safe, heard, and understoodHow to navigate emotional moments in conversationsWhy clarity of audience and message shapes better outcomesAbout the GuestJennifer Locke is a USA Today bestselling business book ghostwriter and nonfiction book strategist who helps entrepreneurs and thought leaders elevate their brands through books.She has been writing fiction since 2011 and brings a fiction writer’s approach to her nonfiction and ghostwriting work. Jennifer has ghostwritten business books published by both business presses and Big Five publishers.Whether writing fiction or nonfiction, Jennifer lives for stories and is passionate about bringing them to life for her clients.Chapters:(00:00) - Introduction to Jennifer Locke and Ghostwriting(04:05) - How to Interview and Draw Out Someone’s Story(08:36) - Building Trust Before the Work Begins(14:29) - What “Therapeutic Listening” Really Means(18:20) - Handling Emotional Moments in Conversations(22:00) - Identifying the Central Event in a Story(27:27) - Structuring Conversations Without Losing Trust(31:17) - Why Judgment Destroys the Work(34:53) - Navigating Time-Constrained Conversations(39:38) - Overcoming Imposter Syndrome in Writing(42:02) - Resources for Writing Your Own BookLinks and Resources:Jennifer Locke Writes |Book in Six by Jennifer Locke WritesJennifer Locke | LinkedInJennifer Locke Writes (@jenniferlockewrites) • Instagram photos and videosSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What can interrogation teach us about everyday communication?In this solo episode, Michael Reddington breaks down 10 powerful listening lessons learned from real-world interrogation environments and how they apply to leadership, business, and high-stakes conversations.This is not about intimidation or pressure. It is about building trust, understanding human behavior, and creating the conditions where people feel comfortable telling the truth.From handling resistance to navigating difficult conversations, these lessons will challenge how you think about listening and give you practical ways to improve your communication immediately.What You’ll Learn in This Episode• Why we have more in common with people than we think • How to build rapport quickly in difficult conversations • Why it’s a mistake to take dishonesty personally • How helping people “save face” leads to better outcomes • Why excuses can actually lead you to the truth • The importance of patience in high-stakes conversations • Why the direct path often creates more resistance • How to ask better questions that get honest answers • Why control in conversations is often an illusion • How focusing on outcomes improves your listening and decision-makingChapters:(00:00) - Why Interrogation Is Really About Listening(01:33) - The Reality of High-Stakes Conversations(05:30) - Lesson 1: We Have More in Common Than We Think(08:33) - Lesson 2: You Can Learn From Everyone(10:02) - Lesson 3: It’s Okay to Be Lied To(13:20) - Lesson 4: People Need to Save Face(14:25) - Lesson 5: Excuses Lead You to the Truth(18:04) - Lesson 6: Let Them Feel in Control(19:26) - Lesson 7: The Direct Path Creates Resistance(20:40) - Lesson 8: Patience Wins(23:33) - Lesson 9: Ask Questions They Can Answer Honestly(24:54) - Lesson 10: Focus on Outcomes Links and Resources: Disciplined Listening (Book & Method): https://disciplinedlistening.comSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What happens when someone has never been truly listened to?In this powerful conversation, Michael Reddington sits down with Dr. John DeGarmo, a leading expert in foster care who has welcomed over 60 foster children into his home.Together, they explore what it really means to listen, especially when working with individuals who have experienced deep trauma.Dr. DeGarmo shares insights from decades of experience inside the foster care system, revealing how empathic listening, patience, and trust-building can transform lives.This conversation goes far beyond foster care.It applies to parents, leaders, coaches, and anyone who wants to communicate more effectively in high-stakes, emotional situations.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhat “empathic listening” really looks like in practiceWhy trying to “fix” problems can actually make things worseHow trust is built with people who have every reason not to trustThe difference between lashing out vs withdrawing and how to respondWhy children lie or steal and what’s really behind those behaviorsHow trauma impacts communication, behavior, and decision-makingThe importance of patience, consistency, and emotional controlHow small actions can create massive impact in someone’s lifeChapters:(00:00) - Introduction to Dr. John DeGarmo(04:00) - What Is Empathic Listening?(08:37) - How Listening Builds Trust and Healing(12:24) - Why Trust Takes Time (and Patience)(17:06) - Trauma-Informed Communication Explained(20:59) - Helping Withdrawn Children Open Up(23:44) - Understanding Lashing Out Behavior(31:49) - Why Children Lie and Steal(38:12) - Turning Awareness Into Action(45:13) - Recognizing Warning Signs and Red FlagsLinks and Resources:Foster Care Institute Dr. John DeGarmo - HomeJohn DeGarmo, Ed.D. Keynote Speaker, TED Talk Speaker | LinkedIn - Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

How often are your observations actually… wrong?In this episode, Michael Reddington breaks down one of the most overlooked skills in communication: accurately interpreting what we see and hear in conversations.Because the truth is, most communication breakdowns don’t happen because we didn’t listen…They happen because we misinterpreted what we observed.Michael walks through the most common ways we unintentionally mislead ourselves, and shares practical questions you can use in real time to slow down, reassess, and respond more effectively.If you want to improve your leadership, communication, and decision-making in high-stakes conversations, this episode will change how you think about observation.What You’ll Learn in This Episode• The 3 ways we unintentionally misread conversations• Why we often see what we want, choose, or expect to see• How misinterpretation leads to poor emotional reactions and decisions• Simple self-check questions to improve observation accuracy• The role of environment, mood, and context in communication• How your goals and motivations shape what you notice• Why observation is a skill you must actively trainChapters:(00:00) - Introduction: Why Observation Accuracy Matters(01:15) - The 3 Ways We Misinterpret What We See(04:48) - How Misinterpretation Leads to Bad Decisions(07:22) - How to Course Correct in Real Time(09:43) - Asking Better Questions for Clarity(11:25) - The Role of Context in Communication(13:01) - How Your Behavior Impacts Others(14:54) - How Goals and Bias Shape Observations(17:19) - Building Better Communication Habits(21:54) - Final Question: Being Right vs Being EffectiveLinks and Resources:The Disciplined Listening Method: How A Certified Forensic Interviewer Unlocks Hidden Value in Every Conversation by Michael ReddingtonInQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

What does it really mean to live a meaningful life… and how does that impact the way we communicate with others?In this episode, Michael Reddington sits down with Terry Tucker, a former SWAT hostage negotiator, Division I athlete, coach, and cancer warrior, to explore the mindset, resilience, and communication principles that shape how we lead, listen, and connect.Terry shares his powerful framework of “4 Truths and a Lie” and how these ideas influence everything from high-stakes conversations to everyday relationships.This is not just a conversation about communication. It is a conversation about perspective, purpose, and how we show up for others.What You’ll Learn in This Episode• The 4 truths that can guide your life and leadership• Why controlling your mind is foundational to communication• How to embrace pain and adversity to become more resilient• The difference between what you achieve vs. what you leave behind• Why curiosity is one of the most powerful communication tools• How to put people at ease in high-stress conversations• The biggest lie that holds people back and how to overcome itAbout the GuestTerry Tucker is a former Division I college basketball player, SWAT hostage negotiator, coach, speaker, and author of Sustainable Excellence: Ten Principles to Leading Your Uncommon and Extraordinary Life.His diverse background and personal journey through cancer have shaped a powerful perspective on leadership, resilience, and human connection.Timestamps:(00:00) - Introduction to Terry Tucker(02:00) - The 4 Truths That Guide Your Life(05:00) - Controlling Your Mind and Mental Discipline(09:00) - The Stockdale Paradox and Resilience(12:30) - Embracing Pain and Adversity(15:00) - The Legacy You Leave Behind(18:30) - Curiosity and Deep Human Connection(23:00) - SWAT Negotiation and Communication Under Pressure(27:00) - Putting People at Ease in Difficult Conversations(31:00) - Lessons from Sports, Coaching, and Leadership(35:00) - Building Confidence and Changing Culture(39:00) - The One Lie That Holds People Back(43:00) - Shifting from Achievement to Contribution(46:00) - Finding Meaning in Adversity(49:00) - Final Reflections and TakeawaysLinks and Resources:Terry Tucker Website: https://www.motivationalcheck.comTerry Tucker | LinkedInSustainable Excellence: Ten Principles to Leading Your Uncommon and Extraordinary Life by Terry TuckerFour Truths and a Lie: Ancient Wisdom For Living Your Modern Purpose by Terry TuckerSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this solo episode, Michael Reddington takes a closer look at the concept of active listening and why it may not always be enough in high-stakes conversations.Active listening techniques like maintaining eye contact, nodding, paraphrasing, and reflecting emotions are widely taught as the foundation of good communication. But what happens when these behaviors create the appearance of listening without actually helping us capture the information that matters most?Michael explores the origins of active listening, how it developed in therapeutic environments, and why those same techniques can sometimes fall short in professional situations involving leadership, negotiation, investigation, and conflict.This episode challenges listeners to move beyond simply looking like they’re listening and instead adopt a more strategic approach to communication. By recognizing that listening is a goal-oriented activity, we can better capture meaningful information, strengthen relationships, and move conversations toward productive outcomes.If you want to improve how you communicate, build trust, and navigate complex conversations, this episode will help you rethink what effective listening really looks like.Timestamps: (00:30) - The origins of active listening and early research(02:14) - Why active listening works well in therapeutic environments(03:35) - Traditional behaviors associated with active listening(05:05) - Why listening should be treated as a goal-oriented activity(06:28) - Appearing to listen vs actually listening(09:57) - How we deceive ourselves into thinking we listened(11:05) - The role of environmental awareness in conversations(12:27) - How robotic listening behaviors damage trust(14:50) - Why saying “I understand” can create more tension(16:37) - The risks of mirroring behavior in communication(18:12) - Matching behavior vs mirroring behavior(20:10) - When paraphrasing can backfire(22:11) - When traditional active listening works best(22:56) - Clarifying conversational goals before listening(23:40) - Increasing situational awareness in conversations(24:28) - Capturing strategically valuable information(25:11) - Building a conversational strategy to move relationships forward(26:01) - Final thoughts on evolving beyond traditional active listeningLinks and Resources: Active Listening by Carl R. Rogers, Richard Evans Farson - https://a.co/d/0h61MdebThe Disciplined Listening Method by Michael Reddington - https://a.co/d/0b9GQLbqSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord MediaLinks and Resources:Active Listening by Carl R. Rogers, Richard Evans Farson - https://a.co/d/0h61MdebThe Disciplined Listening Method by Michael Reddington - https://a.co/d/0b9GQLbq Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord MediaABOUT THE PODCASTI See What You're Saying: The Disciplined Listening Podcast explores the science and strategy behind communication, influence, and human behavior. Each episode focuses on practical techniques that help leaders, investigators, negotiators, and professionals improve their listening skills, strengthen relationships, and achieve better outcomes in their conversations.

In this episode, we explore storytelling, curiosity, and disciplined observation with filmmaker and explorer Chris Baron, founder of Frontier Films and host of the No Ordinary Monday podcast.After spending more than fifteen years traveling the world filming scientific and nature documentaries for outlets like the BBC, National Geographic, and Disney+, Chris shares how viewing the world through a camera lens has shaped the way he listens, observes, and connects with people. From negotiating access to remote locations to building trust with people across cultures, Chris reveals how curiosity, preparation, and authentic conversation open doors to extraordinary experiences.Together we discuss the parallels between filmmaking, interviewing, and disciplined listening. Chris also shares unforgettable stories from the field, including negotiating access to historic locations, filming in extreme environments, and the mindset required to capture powerful stories from around the world.Join us for a fascinating conversation about storytelling, exploration, and how strong listening and communication skills create opportunities in even the most challenging environments.Timestamps:(00:00) - Introducing Chris Baron and Frontier Films(02:10) - How documentary filmmaking shapes observation and listening(05:45) - Negotiating access to remote and restricted locations(09:20) - Building trust with people from different cultures and backgrounds(14:30) - The mindset required to capture authentic stories(19:40) - Lessons learned from interviewing people around the world(25:10) - Chris Baron’s experiences filming in extreme environments(31:50) - Storytelling and the power of curiosity in conversations(38:15) - Applying disciplined listening in filmmaking and interviewing(46:20) - Launching the No Ordinary Monday podcast(52:30) - Final reflections on exploration, storytelling, and curiosityLinks and Resources:Podcast Website: https://noordinarymonday.com/Company Website: https://www.frontierfilms.tv/Podcast Smart Link: https://pods.link/noordinarymondayPodcast Social Link Tree: https://linktr.ee/NoordinarymondayChris Baron | IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm5835394/Chris Baron | Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisbaron7/Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

Learn how leaders can improve listening skills, gather better intelligence, and communicate more effectively in high impact conversations.In this episode, Michael Reddington explores a surprising challenge many leaders face. The more successful, experienced, and knowledgeable we become, the harder it can be to truly listen.Senior leaders and technical experts often feel pressure to solve problems quickly. That pressure can push us into validation mode instead of learning mode. Instead of listening for new information, we start listening for the first opportunity to prove we are right, defend our ideas, or move the conversation forward faster.Michael explains why our brains are naturally wired to seek comfort and confirmation, and how that tendency can prevent us from gathering valuable intelligence during important conversations.You will learn practical techniques to improve your listening immediately, including how to elevate your outcomes, reduce internal distractions, relinquish control of conversations, and create space for others to share meaningful information. Michael also explains why excuses can actually reveal important truths and how leaders can use patience and curiosity to uncover the real issues behind problems.These strategies help leaders gather better intelligence, strengthen relationships, and improve decision making in high impact conversations.Chapters00:00 Why successful leaders often struggle to listen 01:35 How expertise and experience create communication barriers 03:32 The real reasons we listen in conversations 05:38 Why the human brain is not wired for great listening 07:05 Elevating outcomes and expectations to improve listening 10:23 Why the person with the information controls the conversation 12:02 Staying in a learning mindset and allowing yourself to be surprised 13:30 Limiting internal monologue to capture the full message 16:00 Recognizing emotional triggers and regaining focus 18:09 Why time pressure is the enemy of empathy 20:04 Leading to your expertise instead of leading with it 22:19 Why patience is one of the most valuable listening skills 23:35 Why excuses can reveal valuable truths in conversations 27:45 Key takeaways for leaders looking to improve their listeningResourcesThe Disciplined Listening Method by Michael ReddingtonConnect with Michael Reddingtonhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelreddington/SponsorsInQuasive:http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: https://www.humintell.com/Enter code INQUASIVE25 for 25% off online training.International Association of Interviewers https://www.certifiedinterviewer.com/Podcast Production Serviceshttps://everyword.media

In this episode, we explore leadership, trust, and the future of modern policing with retired LAPD Lieutenant Jeff Weninger. With more than three decades of law enforcement experience, Jeff shares insights from his career and research on the evolving mindset required for effective policing today.Together we examine the difference between the warrior and guardian mindset, how organizational culture shapes behavior, and why leadership, training, and accountability are essential for rebuilding trust between law enforcement and the communities they serve. Jeff also shares lessons on personal responsibility, professional standards, and the role of education and fitness in developing well-rounded officers.Join us for a thoughtful and wide-ranging conversation on leadership, mindset, and how disciplined listening can help professionals navigate complex and high-stakes environments.Timestamps: 00:00 Introducing Jeff Weninger and his 33-year career in law enforcement 03:00 Warrior mindset vs guardian mindset in modern policing 08:45 How mindset influences officer behavior and decision making 15:50 Rebuilding trust between law enforcement and communities 24:05 Leadership responsibility in shaping police culture 33:40 Training, education, and professional development for officers 43:20 The role of physical fitness and personal discipline in policing 51:10 Encouraging critical thinking and accountability in organizations 57:40 Final leadership insights and Jeff Weninger’s ongoing workLinks and Resources:(1) Jeff Wenninger | LinkedInJeff Wenninger |On Thin Ice: An LAPD Veteran's Journey to Reimagine Policing: Wenninger, Jeff:Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive deep into what it truly means to be a great listener. Grounded in critical research, we explore practical strategies and core characteristics that transform the way we engage, build trust, and uncover hidden value in our most important conversations. By focusing on outcome-oriented listening, limiting distractions, and developing curiosity, we discover actionable steps that elevate both our personal and professional interactions. Join us as we learn how investing in these listening skills leads to more productive, trusting, and impactful relationships.Timestamps:(00:00) - Introduction to becoming great listeners.(01:13) - Defines listening as an outcome-focused activity.(02:00) - Emphasizes elevating expectations to improve engagement.(03:39) - Motivation and caring as it relates to listening.(04:31) - The three tasks of great listeners: build trust, capture intelligence, and apply intelligence.(05:40) - The process of listening: receiving, retaining, interpreting information.(07:12) - Introduces Graham Bodey’s four goal-oriented listening styles.(13:16) - Key characteristics of great listeners.(16:26) - The importance of controlling emotions in listening.(20:36) - Investing time in listening to save time and build relationships.Links and Resources:Science-Backed Techniques to Improve Your Listening | Graham Bodie | Ep. 45 Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we have the pleasure of exploring the disciplined art of leadership communication with expert guest Chris Hallberg. We dive deep into the power of systems thinking, the real risks of avoiding hard conversations, and how clear agreements—not blind expectations—drive accountability and success. From practical hiring strategies to lessons learned from military leadership, we uncover valuable methods for inspiring commitment and elevating performance within any team. Join us as we discover actionable insights that empower us to build stronger, more impactful organizations and relationships.Timestamps: (00:00) - Introducing Chris Hallberg and episode topics.(02:26) - The risks of avoiding hard conversations.(03:27) - How unresolved issues escalate in organizations.(06:06) - Operating systems and clear agreements for leaders.(11:56) - Transforming expectations into agreements to prevent workplace tension.(13:11) - Utilizing Lencioni’s five dysfunctions to build trust and accountability.(20:45) - Rule of seven for direct reports and effective leadership.(24:06) - Hiring based on systems and assessing candidates beyond interview skills.(33:12) - Applying systems thinking to communication challenges and performance reviews.(55:13) - Chris Hallberg’s contact information and resources for veterans.Links and Resources:Chris Hallberg | LinkedInChris Hallberg | EOS Implementer | EOS Worldwidebizsgt.comSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

Most of us were never actually taught how to communicate with other adults.We were conditioned to talk as kids, then we grew up and started leading teams, negotiating agreements, parenting, coaching, and managing high-stakes conversations.In this solo episode, I’m introducing the Disciplined Listening Method and walking through what it is, why I created it, and how you can start applying it right away.This method is built from behavioral science, interview and interrogation research, and real-world business communication. But at its core, it is simple.Create the communication experience the other person needs.When you do that consistently, you reduce resistance. You build trust. You create commitment instead of compliance.In this episode, I break down what makes a conversation high impact and the seven core behaviors that help you prepare, engage, and follow up with discipline.If you lead people, influence decisions, negotiate agreements, or want stronger relationships at home and at work, this is the foundation.Chapters(00:00) - Why This Series Matters(03:45) - What Is the Disciplined Listening Method(07:50) - Defining High Impact Conversations(12:15) - The Psychology of Commitment(16:30) - Three Core Communication Guidelines(22:45) - The Seven Behaviors(27:35) - Building Trust EquityConnect with MichaelWebsite: https://michaelreddington.comhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelreddington/Grab the Book! The Disciplined Listening Method: How A Certified Forensic Interviewer Unlocks Hidden Value in Every ConversationSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: https://www.humintell.com/Enter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: https://www.certifiedinterviewer.com/Podcast Production Services by https://everyword.media

In this episode, we have the privilege of learning from Marine Corps veteran and leadership expert Codey Gandy as he joins us to unpack the core principles of disciplined leadership. We explore the value of humility, ownership, and effective communication, diving into practical strategies for leading teams, managing stress, and building a strong culture at work and home. From actionable interview tips to insights on coaching and parenting, we discover how everyday decisions and self-reflection can shape our leadership impact. Tune in as we unlock valuable lessons that empower us to become better leaders and create healthier, more resilient teams in every area of our lives.Timestamps: (00:00) - Introducing Codey Gandy.(04:27) - Defining leadership entitlement and what leaders owe their teams.(08:32) - Key takeaways from Marine Corps experience.(13:06) - Importance of problem-solving skills over technical expertise in leadership.(21:20) - Training and strategies for communicating effectively under stress.(27:58) - Breaking down clear communication: mission, why, expectations, parameters.(33:41) - The "readback" technique to ensure mutual understanding in conversations.(40:01) - Managing emotional responses and ego during stressful situations.(46:03) - Differentiating coaching, teaching, and mentoring approaches.(56:44) - Handling promotions and leading peers with higher or equal experience.Links and Resources:Codey Gandy | LinkedInEchelon Front | Leadership Development & TrainingSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode of I See What You’re Saying, Michael Reddington sits down with former U.S. Secret Service agent Brad Beeler to break down what it really takes to get people to open up and tell the truth.Drawing from years of high-stakes interviews, Brad shares practical lessons on disciplined listening, separating emotions from observations, and avoiding the common traps of snap judgments. Together, they explore how trust is built not through pressure or authority, but through preparation, empathy, and intentionally designed environments.From law enforcement interviews to leadership conversations, this episode reveals how small shifts in mindset, presence, and approach can dramatically change the quality of information you receive—and the relationships you build.If you want more honest conversations, better intelligence, and stronger human connection, this episode is for you.Timestamps: (00:00) – Introducing Brad Beeler and his background in the Secret Service(01:13) – Separating emotions from observations in interviews(04:22) – Learning from interview mistakes and missed signals(06:42) – Becoming who the other person needs you to be(08:18) – The danger of assigning “horns or halos” too quickly(16:26) – Practical ways to sharpen listening and observation skills(22:09) – Creating safety so people feel comfortable telling the truth(29:43) – How environment design (even meals) builds rapport(38:04) – Touch, personal space, and handshakes in professional settings(47:18) – Using intelligence ethically to deepen connection and trustLinks and Resources:Tell Me Everything – Brad Beeler Brad Beeler | LinkedInSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode of I See What You’re Saying, we explore how human-centered design and disciplined listening intersect to solve the right problems with educator and design thinking instigator David Phillips. Together, we unpack why finding problems worth solving matters more than rushing to solutions, and how curiosity, observation, and patience fuel better communication, collaboration, and innovation.David shares practical frameworks for applying design thinking beyond product development, revealing how leaders can uncover hidden constraints, earn candid feedback, and create environments where people feel safe to think, speak, and contribute honestly. From the dangers of data delusion to the power of prototyping, beginner’s mindset, and asking better questions, this conversation highlights how listening is the foundation of meaningful progress in business and human relationships.Join us as we examine why innovation is a contact sport, how to get comfortable being wrong, and what it really takes to design solutions that people will adopt, trust, and sustain.Timestamps: (00:00) Introduction: Why Solving the Right Problem Matters(04:10) What Human-Centered Design Really Means(09:00) Why Data Fails Without Context(12:55) The Danger of Solving the Wrong Problem Well(16:20) A Practical Design Thinking Framework(20:00) Why Innovation Requires Behavior Change(24:15) Prototyping to Get Honest Feedback(29:00) Learning to Get Comfortable Being Wrong(33:00) Ego, Identity, and Resistance to Change(37:00) Why Innovation Is a Contact Sport(45:00) Asking Better Questions to Drive Better Decisions(50:20) How Environment Shapes Human Behavior(58:30) Finding Problems Worth Solving(01:05:20) Final Takeaways and Where to Learn MoreGuest InformationDavid Phillips | LinkedIn Faster Glass – Innovation Training, Facilitation, and Consulting - Resources Mentioned in the EpisodeScout Mindset – Julia Galef (TEDx Talk) Why You Think You’re Right — Even If You’re Wrong“Connecting the Dots” – Malcolm Gladwell, The New Yorker (March 10, 2003) An exploration of puzzles vs. mysteries and why some problems resist simple solutions.What’s Your Problem? – Thomas Wedell-Wedellsborg A practical guide to problem (re)framing and identifying the right challenges to solve.Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we explore the transformative power of self-awareness and self-command in communication and leadership with mental wellness strategist Kasey Franco. Together, we uncover practical tools for managing mindset, regulating the nervous system, and turning negative emotions into productive growth. By examining actionable techniques like intention-setting and the Accept or Convert framework, we reveal how anyone can foster clarity, resilience, and authentic presence in both business and personal conversations. Join us to discover valuable strategies for elevating our mental fitness and unlocking true connection in every interaction.Timestamps:(00:06) - Introducing Kasey Franco, mental wellness strategist.(03:31) - Kasey Franco shares her personal turning point for prioritizing mindset and nervous system awareness.(07:41) - Explaining the concept of self command and moving from autopilot to intentional presence.(09:29) - Techniques for practicing presence, such as breath work, sensory focus, and intention setting.(13:35) - Intention setting explained as a powerful tool to guide mindset and filter information.(20:28) - Strategies to make nervousness and worry more productive rather than eliminating them.(22:57) - Breaking down four types of mental messaging and identifying spam thoughts.(26:29) - Recognizing how stress and nervousness manifest physically and how to respond with regulation techniques.(30:16) - Highlighting the Accept or Convert tool for managing challenging situations productively.(50:15) - Celebrating progress and sustaining long-term mental fitness through small, consistent wins.Links and Resources:Kasey Franco | LinkedInWell-Being Strategist & Neural Rewiring CoachKasey Franco Professional ProfileSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive into the dynamic relationship between sales and negotiation with expert guest Ted Stephany. We uncover strategies for preparing to face professional buyers, mastering deal time engineering, and leveraging anchoring techniques to maximize outcomes. Through real-world examples and actionable insights, we learn how mindset, preparation, and value-driven conversations can unlock stronger negotiation results and build lasting professional credibility.Timestamps:(00:00) - Michael Reddington introduces Ted Stephany.(02:50) - Differences between sales and negotiation.(07:22) - Preparing for professional buyers is discussed.(10:12) - Importance of asking buyers about their process.(16:12) - Mindset in negotiation and handling negative expectations.(21:02) - Deal time engineering strategies are explained.(25:08) - Anchoring tactics for negotiation are covered.(34:28) - Controlling the pricing conversation and discount strategies.(41:13) - The impact of pricing consistency on reputation.(47:47) - Key negotiation planning points and making buyers champions.Links and Resources:Ted Stephany | LinkedInTed Stephany | B2B SaaS NegotiationsSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we have the opportunity to learn from Dre Baldwin as he shares his transformative journey from a high school benchwarmer to a professional athlete and successful business leader. We dive into the powerful relationship between structure, discipline, and presence, uncovering practical strategies for developing confidence and turning consistent effort into true dominance in our careers. Through stories of personal growth and actionable insights, we discover how programming our mindset and asking better questions can unlock untapped potential in both business and everyday life.Timestamps:(00:00) - Michael Reddington introduces Dre Baldwin and previews episode topics.(03:33) - Dre Baldwin explains unconscious communication.(07:19) - Examples of context clues and perceptions in daily life.(12:53) - Discipline and how it translates into dominance for business.(14:07) - Dre Baldwin links discipline to structure, accountability, and sustained results.(20:24) - Leading by example and embodying discipline for business success.(26:35) - Dre's late start in basketball and journey to becoming a professional athlete.(33:35) - Using marketing and self-promotion to overcome disadvantages.(38:11) - The "third day" concept as the separator between amateurs and pros.(46:42) - How better questions unlock discipline and drive mindset shifts.Links and Resources:http://ThirdDayBook.comhttp://SalesDisciplineBook.comGet Dre's #DailyMotivation texts: Text LIVE to 305.384.6894 or click http://www.DreAllDay.com/text Power Presence Protocol: http://PowerPresenceProtocol.comSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we have the privilege of exploring the authentic meaning of the warrior spirit and tribal leadership principles with our guest, DJ Vanas. We examine the importance of service, community, and the wisdom of elders, while also discussing practical ways to harness our inner strength and create intentional rituals in everyday life. Learn how to apply these time-tested concepts to leadership, personal development, and building a supportive tribe both at work and at home.Timestamps: (00:00) - Michael Reddington introduces DJ Vanas and previews the episode.(03:19) - DJ Vanas explains the true role of a warrior in tribal culture.(09:15) - Discussion of core tribal leadership principles beyond the warrior.(12:07) - Importance of community, connection, and avoiding isolation.(18:08) - Lessons learned from tribal elders.(26:26) - The vital role of ceremony and ritual in building connection.(31:07) - Modern ways to create everyday rituals and structure.(38:39) - Techniques for drawing on personal inner strength.(43:09) - Overview of six roles of tip of the spear leadership.(56:03) - Where listeners can find DJ Vanas' books and connect further.Links and Resources:D.J. Vanas | LinkedInD. J. VanasThe Warrior Within: Own Your Power to Serve, Fight, Protect, and HealSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we have the opportunity to learn from Christian Meissner, a leading expert in credibility assessment and investigative interviewing. We uncover actionable strategies for assessing credibility, eliciting truthful information, and navigating resistance in high-impact conversations. From understanding the difference between knowledgeability and deception to practical techniques for building trust and rapport, every insight shared provides immense value for anyone looking to enhance their communication skills. Join us as we explore research-backed methods that empower us to ask stronger questions, listen more effectively, and uncover hidden value in all of our critical conversations.Timestamps: (00:00) - Michael Reddington introduces Christian Meissner.(01:15) - Differentiating credibility from knowledgeability in conversation.(04:23) - Key considerations for assessing someone's credibility.(08:51) - Why verbal cues matter more than nonverbal cues for truthfulness.(15:08) - Techniques to help others access and share truthful memories.(23:29) - Strategies to reduce resistance and build cooperation.(27:04) - Topic steering methods using summaries and self-disclosure.(34:45) - Exploring the main motivations behind resistance.(43:36) - Constructive confrontation: evocation and empathy in tough conversations.(60:23) - Quick tips for building trust and rapport, and episode wrap-up.Links and Resources:Applied Cognition Lab – Department of Psychology, College of Liberal Arts & Sciences, Iowa State UniversityChristian A. Meissner | LinkedInSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive into the key communication skills that set impactful leaders apart with expert guest Michael Delisser. We explore the crucial differences between self-awareness and self-perception, uncover common communication habits that hold leaders back, and learn actionable strategies for receiving feedback and turning data into insights. Through real-world examples and practical frameworks, we discover how to influence others, adapt to different personalities, and drive lasting results. By the end you’ll know how to strengthen relationships, lead effectively, and unlock your true leadership potential in any organizational setting.Timestamps: (00:00) - Michael Reddington welcomes Michael Delisser(03:08) - Three key high-impact communication skills for leaders.(06:11) - Common ineffective communication habits in leaders are discussed.(08:45) - Exploration of why people interrupt and where those habits originate.(12:24) - Difference between self awareness and self perception explained.(14:46) - How to receive feedback and use it for self improvement.(19:07) - The importance of balancing different personality types in teams.(28:10) - Turning raw data into actionable insights.(32:00) - The three means of persuasion based on Aristotle introduced.(46:03) - Strategies for influencing without authority shared.Links and Resources:Michael deLisser | LinkedInde Lisser Leadership Consulting | leadership development consultingLeadership Accelerators: High-Impact Communication Skills That Strengthen Relationships and Drive ResultsSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive into the essential components of leading with character alongside guest Kevin Basik, a seasoned Air Force leader and behavioral scientist. Uncover the three foundational elements of character-driven leadership, explore actionable strategies to build and maintain trust, and discuss how leaders can create environments that empower others to reach their full potential. Through relatable stories and practical frameworks, Kevin reveals how vulnerability, accountability, and clear communication transform teams and organizations. Gain powerful insights and proven techniques for becoming leaders of character in any setting.Timestamps: (00:00) - Michael Reddington introduces Kevin Basik and the episode.(03:40) - Kevin Basik explains what it means to be a leader of character.(04:49) - The three components of leading with character are discussed.(11:07) - The four levers for successful leadership are revealed.(15:57) - Clarity in communication and expectations is emphasized.(23:09) - The Pygmalion and Gollum effects in leadership relationships are explored.(35:35) - Challenges in developing others with technical expertise are addressed.(39:14) - The "sayback" technique for clarifying expectations is explained.(44:04) - "Equifinality" and outcome-focused leadership are defined.(58:26) - The importance of elite cultures and consistent standards is highlighted.Links and Resources:Basik Insight – Bringing Character and Leadership into Focus.Kevin Basik (PhD, US Air Force retired) | LinkedInThe National Medal of Honor MuseumSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive into the powerful journey of Chris Haueter, a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu legend, as he shares hard-earned insights on overcoming stuttering, the influence of word choice, and the importance of empathy in leadership and communication. We explore the distinction between teaching and coaching, the need for humility, and the value of pattern recognition without getting stuck in assumptions. Discover how embracing a student’s mindset and adapting to change can bring deeper understanding and success in both personal and professional circles.Timestamps: (00:00) - Michael Reddington introduces Chris Haueter, sharing his jiu jitsu background.(03:27) - Chris Haueter discusses lifelong stuttering and its impact.(05:12) - Exploring nature vs. nurture and overcoming personal challenges.(10:01) - Childhood experiences and lessons about the power of words.(12:30) - Using physicality when words fail and the importance of finding balance.(20:10) - Remaining a student and guarding against arrogance.(23:03) - Differences between teaching and coaching.(33:22) - Empathetic coaching for both beginners and advanced students.(41:01) - Focus on human connection over petty concerns.(53:07) - Learning from non-English-speaking teachers and jiu jitsu as a universal language.Links and Resources:Chris & Melissa Haueter's Combat Base | BJJ Videos | ApparelSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive into the powerful world of investigative interviewing and business communication with expert Dave Thompson. We uncover the most common myths and misconceptions that derail conversations and reveal proven strategies for building genuine rapport, gathering reliable information, and driving better outcomes. Exploring the roles of empathy, listening, and effective questioning, we learn how to elevate our leadership and communication skills in any setting. Timestamps: (00:06) - Michael Reddington welcomes back David Thompson and introduces the episode.(02:00) - Michael Reddington explains the goal of obtaining more information, not just catching lies.(06:20) - David Thompson identifies myths derailing communication and interviews.(08:00) - David Thompson debunks the myth that good communicators talk the most.(11:37) - Michael Reddington explains how great leaders focus on listening.(17:15) - David Thompson discusses the power of empathy and why it's strategic, not soft.(25:43) - David Thompson illustrates why behavior alone doesn't detect lies.(35:00) - David Thompson reveals how pressure creates compliant—not reliable—answers.(48:09) - Michael Reddington urges turning down the temperature in high-stress conversations.(51:03) - David Thompson stresses changing the goal from confession to gathering reliable information.Links and Resources:Part 1 - Truthbetoldpodcast5 Communication Myths We Need to Stop Believing: From Interrogations to the Boardroom with Michael Reddington, CFI - Home - Wicklander-ZulawskiTruth Be ToldInternational Association of InterviewersDavid Thompson, CFI | LinkedInSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we have the pleasure of exploring the science and strategy behind effective investigative interviewing and high-impact conversations with forensic linguist Dr. Luna Filipovic. We examine the powerful effects of language choice, cultural context, and question structure on truth-telling, memory, and cooperation in both legal and everyday scenarios. Together, we uncover actionable insights for improving accuracy and efficiency in any conversation, from business negotiations to personal interactions. Join us as we learn how to adapt our communication to foster trust, gather critical information, and avoid costly misunderstandings in this value-packed episode.Timestamps: (00:00) - Introducing Dr. Luna Filipovic, forensic linguist and UC Davis professor.(03:32) - Dr. Filipovic explains why people choose to open up and talk.(06:41) - Discussing the risks and consequences of silence in interviews.(09:01) - Impact of language and context on memory and communication accuracy.(13:49) - Key considerations when interviewing bilingual individuals.(18:38) - The importance of using trained interpreters in investigations.(25:00) - Exploring the problems with complex and negative questions.(33:26) - Differences between confession-seeking and information-seeking approaches.(41:01) - How cultural backgrounds affect communication and witness responses.(50:37) - Balancing efficiency and accuracy in language techniques and interviews.Links and Resources:Home - TACIT Luna Filipovic | LinkedInSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive into the fascinating intersection of data analytics and emotions with guest Zoey Charif, exploring her unique framework for calculating love and relationship success. We learn how self worth, values, and personality traits shape both romantic and professional relationships, and discover practical strategies for fostering self awareness and making healthier decisions. Through real-life stories and proven research, we uncover actionable insights that empower us to build stronger connections with ourselves and others. Join us as we unlock the formula for meaningful relationships and personal fulfillment in this thought-provoking conversation.Timestamps: (00:00) - Introducing Zoey Charif and the concept of calculating love.(04:13) - Zoey Charif explains her framework for matching and admiration.(06:12) - Self worth is calculated through personal values.(09:38) - Importance of normalizing being single and building self worth.(11:00) - Self worth impacts all relationships, including business and community.(13:05) - Optimist and critic personalities affect relationship scores.(17:05) - Self awareness helps balance between optimism and criticism.(22:00) - Matching and mismatching values in relationships discussed.(27:04) - Attraction versus compatibility as key relationship drivers.(39:28) - Staying out of extremes and working on self score is essential for fulfillment.Links and Resources:Love Can, In Fact, Be Calculated: Charif, Zoey Home | Love CanSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Kathy Wu to explore the transformative power of self-regulation and resilience in both teens and adults. We discover practical, evidence-based strategies for managing emotions, building stronger relationships, and fostering personal growth—whether we're parents, leaders, or simply looking to better understand ourselves. With insights grounded in real-life experiences and proven therapeutic approaches, we uncover the value of shifting from control to curiosity, engaging in empathic confrontation, and leveraging problems as powerful opportunities to grow. Walk away with actionable tools to positively impact your home, work, and community conversations.Timestamps: (00:06) - Introducing Dr. Kathy Wu and highlighting her background.(01:03) - Explaining the philosophy: problems as opportunities to grow.(04:13) - How challenges foster self-reflection and resilience.(08:19) - Tools for managing frustration and understanding emotions.(11:07) - Self-regulation as a lifelong process and muscle to flex.(13:04) - Overview of evidence-based modalities: CBT, ACT, and DBT.(17:19) - Importance of developing interpersonal skills and active listening.(22:14) - Practicing empathic confrontation and listening without judgment.(27:38) - Helping teenagers build self-regulation and validating emotions.(45:45) - Strategies for healthy technology use and family relationships.Links and Resources:The Self-Regulation Handbook for Teens and Young Adults: A Trauma-Informed Guide to Fostering Personal Resilience and Enhancing Interpersonal Skills Counseling | Dr. Kathy Wu | United StatesSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we journey into the transformative lessons drawn from martial arts, personal growth, and mastering our own potential with Emmanuel Manolakakis. We explore the power of distilling real wisdom from collected knowledge, the significance of patience and self-control, and the remarkable difference between happiness and fulfillment. Through engaging stories and practical advice, we uncover how embracing pressure, focusing on what we can control, and developing our authentic selves can lead to lasting success—both on and off the mat.Timestamps: (00:00) - Michael Reddington introduces Emmanuel Manolakakis(04:09) - The difference between collecting knowledge and distilling wisdom.(07:02) - Importance of making personal decisions instead of matching others' bad choices.(10:04) - Contrast between depth of knowledge in the past and current information overload.(14:42) - Emmanuel Manolakakis discusses mastery as a journey, not a destination.(19:28) - How mastery requires patience, adaptability, and focusing on what you can control.(27:56) - Developing patience through teaching, martial arts, and life experiences.(34:57) - Practical tips for building patience using cold immersion and fasting.(41:58) - The value of calmness and responsibility, with lessons from archery.(50:42) - Overview of Emmanuel Manolakakis's book and the pursuit of fulfillment over happiness.Links and Resources:HOME | My SiteEudaimonia: The Highest Human Good: Manolakakis, EmmanuelSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we have the pleasure of exploring the power of authentic communication and strategic storytelling with marketing expert Cassandra D'Alessio. We dive into the importance of taking control of our own narrative, differentiating between branding, sales, and marketing, and infusing authenticity into all facets of our messaging. Through Cassandra’s practical advice and real-world examples, we discover how to turn words into strategy, build trust, and create lasting relationships in both business and personal conversations. Join us as we uncover valuable lessons on patience, consistency, and audience understanding that elevate our communication and help us stand out in a noisy marketplace.Timestamps: (00:00) - Introducing Cassandra D’Alessio and her expertise in B2B marketing and branding.(04:09) - Importance of taking control of your own story online.(06:02) - Balancing authenticity without sounding salesy or cheesy.(09:54) - Clarifying the differences between sales, brand, and marketing.(13:44) - Explaining why consistency in messaging matters across all channels.(16:11) - Turning words into effective communication strategy.(22:21) - How writing shapes Cassandra’s communication approach and perception.(34:21) - Lessons from Cassandra’s book on launching a business as a female entrepreneur.(41:30) - Teaching college students and applying those lessons to business clients.(46:22) - Role of imagery in stopping the scroll and engaging audiences online.Links and Resources:Cassandra D'Alessio | This Won't Be Pretty - https://www.cassandradalessio.com/Next Page Brand Strategies - https://www.turnthenextpage.com/Cassandra D'Alessio, M.A. | LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/cassandra-dalessio/Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive into the science and strategy of decision-making with expert decision coach Greg Dinkin. We explore how focusing on decisions rather than outcomes can transform our approach to challenges, drawing on lessons from poker, executive coaching, and practical psychology. Through empowering questions, forward-thinking strategies, and real-world examples, we discover the mindset and habits that set winners apart. Join us as we uncover actionable tools for making better choices, handling pressure, and creating lasting success in both our professional and personal lives.Timestamps:(00:00) - Michael introduces Greg Dinkin, decision coach and poker champion.(03:08) - Greg explains what it means to be a decision coach.(04:56) - Discussing the mantra “decisions, not outcomes.”(09:56) - How to plan moves ahead in decision making and negotiation.(13:30) - Preparing for high-pressure situations by deciding in advance.(18:25) - The power and strategy of asking the right questions.(22:04) - Michael and Greg discuss the crucial role of listening in decision processes.(27:38) - Greg details how context and motive influence observing behavior.(34:23) - Importance of debriefing and accountability after outcomes.(35:31) - Greg shares the “thermostat vs thermometer” winner’s mindset concept.Links and Resources:Hire TedX speaker Home - Greg Dinkin Greg Dinkin | LinkedIn Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive into the transformative power of humor in the workplace with comedian, author, and consultant Andrew Tarvin. We explore the science and art behind humor, distinguish between comedy and everyday levity, and reveal seven essential humor competencies that anyone can learn to drive engagement and effectiveness. From practical techniques like the comic triple to strategies for reading the room and staying appropriate, we uncover valuable ways that humor boosts problem-solving, increases connection, and creates a true competitive advantage. Join us as we unlock actionable insights to elevate our professional relationships, productivity, and everyday interactions through the skillful use of humor.Timestamps: (00:00) - Introducing Andrew Tarvin, comedian and workplace humor expert.(04:54) - Andrew explains why humor is a valuable professional skill.(09:19) - Difference between humor and comedy in the workplace.(11:06) - Humor as a learnable skill and Andrew’s journey to being funnier.(14:55) - Seven humor personas and competencies discussed.(19:33) - Importance of practicing humor safely and learning from feedback.(25:20) - Research on appropriate versus inappropriate workplace humor.(31:32) - Applying humor as a problem-solving tool.(39:43) - The four styles of humor and workplace appropriateness.(58:23) - Andrew’s “one smile per hour” strategy for daily humor.Links and Resources:humor speaker | engineer | comedian - (an)drew tarvin | Founder of Humor That Works | Speaker, Author, Consultant Andrew Tarvin | LinkedIn Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive into the essential listening and communication skills that truly make a difference in challenging conversations, with insights from retired police inspector, crisis negotiator, and cognitive behavioral therapist Andy Fairie. We explore the powerful distinction between listening and problem-solving, practical techniques for de-escalating heightened emotions, and the art of earning the right to have our say. Through real-world examples and actionable frameworks, we discover how their approach can enhance understanding, build trust, and transform how we connect with others—even in the most intense moments. Join us as we uncover practical tools to improve both our personal and professional conversations in this insightful and value-packed discussion.Timestamps: (00:00) - Introducing guest Andy Fairie, retired police inspector and author.(04:50) - Why "listening is not problem solving" in crisis and everyday life.(08:23) - Example of crisis negotiation and power of simply listening.(13:56) - Building trust through small gestures and genuine connection.(16:01) - Pitfalls of telling people to "calm down" or "I understand."(17:55) - Emotional labeling as a tool for de-escalation.(25:25) - Andy explains the SIMPLE framework for effective listening.(38:04) - How to use "I when because" statements to express impact.(45:05) - Importance and technique of practicing breathing for calm communication.(51:16) - Research on empathy in policing and the risk of compassion fatigue.Links and Resources:Andy Fairie | LinkedInAmazon.com: Listening Skills for Effective Policing eBook : Fairie, Andy: Kindle StoreSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we delve into the science-backed techniques of investigative interviewing with Christian Corey, a seasoned police captain and expert in eliciting the truth. We explore how open-ended questions, strategic evidence disclosure, and disciplined listening transform the way we gather information—not just in law enforcement, but in business and everyday life.Uncover practical strategies to foster trust, avoid common interview pitfalls, and build rapport, empowering them to solve problems and guide conversations with confidence. Timestamps: (00:00) - Introducing guest Christian Corey.(04:57) - Christian explains the power of big free narrative questions.(06:31) - Discussing the importance of allowing yourself to be surprised and staying curious.(08:17) - How to frame open-ended questions for better information gathering.(10:00) - The patience and control gained by letting people talk freely.(12:25) - The value of listening to lies and using them strategically.(17:26) - Christian defines the investigator’s mindset as following evidence and embracing adaptability.(21:44) - Red teaming explained and its role in challenging assumptions.(32:30) - Planning strategic evidence disclosure and maximizing information from interviews.(41:44) - The benefits of active listening and building rapport during interviews.Links and Resources:Home - National Policing InstituteChristian Cory | LinkedInHome | National Institute of JusticeProject Aletheia – A Collaborative Center for Improving the Science and Practice of InterrogationSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we have the privilege of hearing Jim Neitzel’s remarkable journey as he adapts to life and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu after losing his eyesight. We explore how Jim’s unique perspective transforms not just his martial arts practice, but also his approach to communication, listening, and teaching others. Through powerful stories and actionable insights, we discover the importance of contextual awareness, nonverbal communication, and finding the elegant solution in life’s challenges. Timestamps: (00:00) - Introducing Jim Neitzel and his journey with vision loss.(05:06) - Jim explains adapting to progressive blindness.(09:16) - Emphasizing the mindset of "learning your way out" of challenges.(13:55) - Jim discusses adapting Jiu Jitsu training as his vision deteriorated.(15:59) - Enhancing listening skills and using other senses in Jiu Jitsu.(18:16) - Techniques for listening to instruction and inferring details.(22:41) - Listening to nonverbal cues like breathing during grappling.(26:35) - The importance of context in both martial arts and communication.(37:01) - Jim shares his approach to teaching Jiu Jitsu for diverse learning styles.(52:34) - Adopting a counterpuncher's mindset for communication and problem-solving.Links and Resources:www.JimNeitzel.com www.LakesideBJJ.comSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we sit down with David Lund, Executive Director of the International Association of Interviewers, to uncover the real meaning behind being a Certified Forensic Interviewer and to explore the science-backed techniques that drive ethical and effective investigative conversations. Together, we examine how principles of disciplined listening, empathy, and rapport aren’t just invaluable in interviews and interrogations, but also transform business, leadership, and family communications. Listeners gain powerful, actionable strategies for gathering information, building trust, and uncovering the truth in any high-stakes situation. Join us to discover how adopting an investigative mindset elevates our everyday conversations and leads us to better results.Timestamps: (00:00) - Introducing David Lund.(04:34) - What it means to be a Certified Forensic Interviewer (CFI). (06:42) - Applying investigative interviewing skills to everyday high-stakes conversations. (10:39) - The investigative mindset of a CFI. (15:37) - Ethics and humility in interviews are explored. (21:34) - How CFI techniques help in leadership and corporate settings. (29:38) - Key interview and interrogation techniques used by CFIs explained. (41:40) - Debunking common nonverbal myths and old interview misconceptions. (47:51) - The future of interviewing and evolving scientific approaches. (52:41) - Resources, upcoming events, and how to learn more about CFI.Links and Resources:Home - Wicklander-Zulawskihttps://www.certifiedinterviewer.com/David Lund, CFI, LPC, MBA | LinkedIn Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we have the privilege of learning from Officer Vic Montalvo, a seasoned law enforcement professional who brings a unique, compassionate approach to serving as a School Resource Officer. We explore the vital role empathy, relationship-building, and genuine care play in creating safe, positive educational environments for students and staff alike. By prioritizing learning over punishment and investing deeply in the well-being of children and their families, Officer Vic demonstrates how law enforcement can profoundly impact communities beyond enforcement alone. Join us as we uncover powerful lessons on trust, leadership, and human connection that can transform the way we work with young people and support our communities.Timestamps: (00:00) - Introducing Officer Vic Montalvo and his background in law enforcement.(01:29) - Importance of school resource officers who want to work with kids.(04:43) - Host shares personal experiences with school resource officers.(07:31) - Officer Vic explains how building relationships with students is key.(10:14) - Early career influence from working school outreach in New York City.(16:28) - Gaining trust and integrating with school staff and community.(21:22) - Connecting kids with positive activities and community sponsors.(25:10) - Impact of empathy and prioritizing learning over punishment.(31:56) - Teaching students to take responsibility and tell the truth.(38:05) - Advice for authority figures working with children: be genuine and empathetic.Links and Resources:Police | Town of Waxhaw, NC - https://www.waxhaw.com/government/departments/[email protected] Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive into the art of conscious conversations with renowned consultant and author Chuck Wisner. We explore powerful strategies for managing emotions, breaking automatic response patterns, and harnessing the four essential elements behind every opinion and judgment. Gain actionable techniques to slow down high-impact conversations, increase self-awareness, and foster truly collaborative communication at work and at home. Together, we unlock the tools to improve relationships, make better decisions, and transform the way we interact every day.Timestamps: (00:00) - Michael introduces guest Chuck Wisner and shares his background.(04:25) - Techniques for managing emotions in difficult conversations.(09:52) - The importance of increasing self-awareness and examining internal stories.(13:28) - Recognizing body signals and learning to pause before reacting.(17:49) - Four key elements shaping our judgments and opinions.(24:54) - The practice of changing long-held conversational patterns over time.(25:59) - How open-handed listening leads to better collaboration.(32:03) - Overview of the four types of conversations and their impact on decision-making.(46:18) - Clarifying requests to create better commitments and build trust.(51:08) - Chuck shares a personal story on unhelpful master stories and how to reframe them.Links and Resources:Better Conversations at Work and Home | Chuck WisnerChuck Wisner | LinkedInThe Art of Conscious Conversations: Transforming How We Talk, Listen, and InteractSponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media

In this episode, we dive into the powerful intersection of creativity and problem solving with innovation strategist Melissa Dinwiddie. We uncover how shifting our self-perception and embracing imperfection can unlock dormant creative potential within us all. Through Melissa’s honest storytelling and practical frameworks, we explore playful techniques for overcoming internal barriers and reframing mistakes as essential steps toward innovation. Join us as we discover actionable strategies to reimagine challenges, spark new ideas, and drive meaningful breakthroughs in our work and lives. If you're interested in learning how to tap into your untapped creativity and break through mental roadblocks, this episode is for you.Timestamps: (00:00) - Introducing Melissa Dinwiddie.(03:20) - Melissa's background as a "non-creative" and challenges creativity labels.(05:29) - Melissa redefines creativity beyond the arts and everyday problem solving.(08:50) - Strategies for helping “non-creative” people uncover their inner creativity.(10:49) - The “crappy doodles” exercise to lower the bar and reduce self-criticism.(13:57) - How others perceive our work versus our own self-judgment.(18:14) - Melissa introduces her three-step “Create the Impossible” framework.(23:40) - Blending creativity and problem solving through improvisational processes.(38:56) - Melissa discusses overcoming perfectionism through self-compassion.(52:06) - Melissa’s upcoming book and how listeners can connect with her.Links and Resources:Melissa Dinwiddie | LinkedInHome - Melissa Dinwiddie | Create the Impossible™ | Innovation Keynote Speaker & ConsultantThe Creative Sandbox Way: Your Path to a Full-Color Life Sponsor Links:InQuasive: http://www.inquasive.com/Humintell: Body Language - Reading People - HumintellEnter Code INQUASIVE25 for 25% discount on your online training purchase.International Association of Interviewers: Home (certifiedinterviewer.com)Podcast Production Services by EveryWord Media