Mutant Menace

Tune in this week, folks; the New Mutants are fun again! Join us as the gang tackles a severe psychic threat, Xavier reckons just a little with his past, and Bill Sienkiewicz cements his legendary status. Plus, a couple of goofy adventures with Spider-Man!Issues: New Mutants #26-28; Marvel Team-Up #149 & #150TOPICS DISCUSSED:Matt won’t be home. Random number generator. Ti West’s X-Men trilogy. Wawa pizza. A reckoning for Xavier…sort of. We’re getting farther from Johnny Carson. ALARM! Jack Wayne is here!! If you die in here, you die in real life. Memory crystals. Gormless. Children are so dumb. Sales tax. Incandescent Man, Fluorescent Man, and LED Man. She doesn’t even get a name. Mrs. Muggins is here!! The Shakespearean tragedy of Juggernaut and Black Tom. Why not just wear the smaller helmet? A little goblin alien man. He is unsettling.TIMESTAMPS:05:54 - Pat’s Email Corner16:00 - X-Men-related things23:17 - New Mutants #26: Legion49:00 - New Mutants #27: Into the Abyss1:12:05 - New Mutants #28: Soulwar1:34:32 - BONUS Pat’s Steals n Deals1:37:26 - Marvel Team-Up #149: The Incandescent Man1:53:07 - Marvel Team-Up #150: ‘Tis Better to Give!2:12:16 - Regular Pat’s Deals n StealsJoin our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenace Write into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod (https://www.instagram.com/mutantmenacepod)

Buckle up, listeners, because these issues get weird! Join us as we join the X-Men in medieval Manhattan, campfires, adjacent properties, and even fairytale outer space! We've got bizarre villains, dragons, aliens, and hacky-sacks! Tune in!Topics Discussed:Rogue is Green. Wilfred Brimley argues for mutant rights. Xavier/Caliban. Warlock looks like Peter Parker. "Ensorcelment". We wouldn't know if we were medieval times'd.  "I'll Slurp Ya!" Understanding Medieval English. Boob cones. WHERE THE FUCK IS CYPHER!? Why is there a plug here? Kurt's tickle party-forward leadership. Bringing a dragon to an airport. Worthy Foes. "Your planet beat Galactus?" Psi-lock. Claremont wishes he wrote Star Wars. "And I'm the ultra powerful spaceship!" The origin of Diamond White Queen. Lockheed's fuck planet. Pokemon the Movie ass ending.TIMESTAMPS1:40 - Pat's Email Corner13:25 - What Scared You Most As A Child? (Accidental Segment)15:30 - Where Did We Leave The X-Men?18:30 - Uncanny X-Men #190 “An Age Undreamed Of”40:50 - Uncanny X-Men #191 "Raiders of the Lost Temple!"1:02:00 - Uncanny X-Men #192 "Fun ‘n’ Games!"1:22:04 - Uncanny X-Men Annual #8 "The Adventures of Lockheed the Space Dragon and His Pet Girl Kitty"1:41:35 - Final Thoughts1:46:20 - Pat's Deals n' StealsJoin our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Alpha Flight continues its hot streak on this episode, covering everything from time travel to haunted houses to old Fantastic Four villains. It's funny, it's dark, and it's an open book on the weird thoughts of John Byrne! Join us as we tour Canada in this 4th installment of our Alpha Flight series!TOPICS DISCUSSED:Marvel 616 museums. “I was a little bit of a rapscallion.” Grapes vs eggs. “You have a power that may yet save us…Gun!” Boning down to save the world. WHOOPS! Gilded Lily! Steven Devil. Diablo! Pink Pearl! A very cool skeleton man. The Bearded Lady with a tommy gun. Snowbird’s powers. Sasquatch’s powers. A very dark conclusion. A deeeeep dive into John Byrne’s psyche.TIMESTAMPS:0:00 - great theme song/hellos1:30 - history recap9:16 - Pat’s Email Corner/X-Men-related things28:40 - Alpha Flight 19 “Turn Again, Turn Again, Time in Thy Flight…”47:13 - Alpha Flight 20 “Gold and Love Affairs!”1:00:30 - Alpha Flight 21 “‘Love Wrought New Alchemy…’”1:11:33 - Alpha Flight #22 “Rub-Out”1:28:12 - Alpha Flight #23 “Night of the Beast”/Final Thoughts1:51:17 - Pats Steals ‘n’ DealsJoin our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

The Bunkies are BACK, buddies!! Along with our favorite least favorite super-villain THE LIVING PHARAOH/MONOLITH! Matt and Pat read this graphic novel that has very little to do with the X-Men and we have a ton of fun absolutely savaging it.Enjoy!Topics Discussed:Crazy Abdol. Getting suspended for being dumb. All humans are evil. Rutting males. All humans are good. "Let the nice men kill the woman, son." It's easy to infiltrate the Baxter Building. KBONK! The Juggernaut?? Oh, no. The spine of a pig. The Avengers are on vacation. Living Monolith crouching in wait. A tasteful upskirt. The big wire that supplies all of Manhattan with electricity. THOR, IRON MAN, WONDER MAN, STARFOX, HAWKEYE: The Five Mightiest Men on Earth! A mile of Adamantium rope. Another The Living Planet.Timestamps:0:00 Intro and Breakfast5:25 - Living Pharoah/Monolith Background25:00 - Revenge of the Living Monolith1:25:35 - Pat's Steals and Deals1:28:45 - Goodbye!Join our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want (PATREON MEMBERS RECEIVED A WEEK'S EARLY ACCESS TO THIS EPISODE): patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Hey, have you noticed anything strange about Bobby and Rahne lately? Like how they keep staring off at the Holy Ghost Church with a haunted look in their eyes? Or how they keep writing fairy tales and attacking Colossus? Well, it's time for Matt and Pat to dive into this mystery and figure out what the heck is goin' on! And we think it might involve a racially insensitive superhero duo created by Bill Mantlo who hate drugs and pimps SO MUCH. Plus, Magneto falls from space, gets ate by a shark, and hits a woman.All that, plus the most unhinged Pat's Steals and Deals of all time (or at least since Matt bought the Winged Warrior Hat immediately upon learning of it.)Topics Discussed:Don't make me beat up drug dealers! A room of dead children. CATS horns up the New Mutants. Gangs of roving criminals. 2-FOR-ONE Glancing Blow/Rahne Head Injury. Is Spider-Man real? Classic mad scientist! "Yeah." A deceptive clown dance. Rahne Sinclair is a rescue dog. FRIEDRICH VON ROEHM! Rahne's Buddy The Elf moment. Not a good fairy tale. "Invulnerable while blastin'" #11. Emmanuel Da Costa doesn't wanna wear the Hellfire outfit. MIRAGE. HARRY MORRELL: NEW FAVORITE CHARACTER. "There's Bobby." Ultimate Fear, Desire, and Customer. Father Michael Bowen is back! Fear.com. Prayer works!TIMESTAMPS00:59 - Cloak and Dagger background13:12 - New Mutants background14:10 - Pat's Email Corner26:57 - Did you do anything X-Men related?34:02 - Marvel Team-Up Annual #649:55 - New Mutants #221:04:20 - Mew Newtons #231:24:36 - New Mutants #241:36:02 - New Mutants #251:59:46 - Pat's Steals and Deals2:07:10 - Goodbye!Join our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

If you like Storm, folks, then tune the heck in to this one! We delve deep into the identity of Ororo Munroe through an incredible, character-driven run, including Chris Claremont & Barry Windsor-Smith's iconic LIFEDEATH! Plus Selene, the Hellfire Club, Rachel Summers, and even some ROM Spaceknight-adjacent stuff! Topics Discussed:ROM Spaceknight. Drowning survey. Egg. We’re two guys with alive dads, and we won’t apologize for it. Does Rogue know how her powers work? LIFEDEATH! WRAITHKILL! Analog phones. Storm vs Forge. Superheroes with guns. Counting Storm’s suitors. Alien soul. Jaime Rodriguez is here! “That’s meant to be sipped.” Sexual colonial-era fashion. DelCo Amanda Sefton. Child militia.TIMESTAMPS0:00 - The best theme song in the biz7:16 - Pat’s Email Corner20:28 - X-Men Related Things22:21 - Uncanny X-Men #185: Public Enemy38:16 - Uncanny X-Men #186: LIFEDEATH1:08:50 - Uncanny X-Men #187: Wraithkill!1:19:41 - Uncanny X-Men #188: Legacy of the Lost1:35:09 - Uncanny X-Men #189: Two Girls Out to Have Fun!1:54:00 - Final Thoughts1:57:51 - Pat’s Steals n DealsJoin our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

There comes a time in every little girl's life where she must shed the follies of youth and grow into a super-cool secret ninja assassin mutant with her big hairy friend Wolverine. And this, for Kitty Pryde, is that time. Matt and Pat dig into the 6-issue miniseries KITTY PRYDE AND WOLVERINE from 1984 and are pretty damn stoked about it.Topics Discussed:Family-owned banks. A sumo wrestler in a fine Italian suit. The dumbest we've ever seen Kitty Pryde. Two bank break-ins. SHE REEKS. Wolverine's sweater crop-top. "Yes. We shall do crimes together." Ninja baby. Best Kitty costume yet! ITBTIAWIDBWIDBIVN. Boning on the rooftops. STINK BOMB! Logan covers himself in trash. Does Yukio care about dying? "STOP HANGING OUT WITH YUKIO!" How do you stab Wolverine in the heart? Whiny Carmen Pryde. THE RETURN OF THE UPDRAFT. Logun. Share the bridges! Rocky IV. Thor Winter! "Agghhh! Ghost!" Wild genes. SHADOWCAT!!! Mariko's Mariko wig. "SURPRISE SUCKER!" "screwed her on the roof." TIMESTAMPS:0:00  - Intro6:35  - Pat's Email Corner24:45 - X-Men Related Things28:55 - Background31:50  - Issue #1  "Lies"45:45  - Issue #2  "Terror"53:48  - Issue #3 "Death"1:03:30  - Issue #4  "Rebirth"1:19:20  - Issue #5  "Courage"1:31:22  - Issue #6 "Honor1:49:38 - [REDACTED]'s Steals and Deals 1:54:05 - Goodbyes!Join our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

We're flying back up north this week, and visiting our favorite Canadian Super Team, Alpha Flight! But it's not all fun and games, as we work through pain, loss, and a pile of scrambled eggs. This is where Alpha Flight realllly gets good, so tune in!TOPICS DISCUSSED:Pee-wee Herman. John Byrne, fashionista. Bing-bonging Namor. Ursula K Leguin. Solemn, respectful silence, except for the screeching owl. Smart Alec’s disturbing fate. Pierre Trudeau’s resignation. Snowbird is 6 years old. Not a good-time scream. Saving the stroller. All vampires are dead. Draw us a toilet. Elizabeth Twoyoungmen is here! Douglas Thompson returns. Like a moth between the stubby fingers of a small boy. FISH SHIP. Madison Jeffries is here! We’re not canceling Puck. Jeff VanderMeer. “Dialogue.” Wolverine! What the FUCK Walter. Big year. Chekhov’s scrambled eggs. Good issue. You’re in a team book dude.TIMESTAMPS:0:45 - Hello and Pee-wee Herman impressions2:29 - Alpha Flight recap and initial thoughts11:53 - Pat’s Email Corner22:08 - X-Men-related things we’ve done this week25:33 - Alpha Flight 13 - “Nightmare”38:58 - Alpha Flight 14 - “Biology Class”57:19 - Alpha Flight 15 - “Blind Date”1:12:22 - Alpha Flight 16 - “…and Forsaking All Others…”1:26:24 - Alpha Flight 17 - “Dreams Die Hard…”1:39:35 - Alpha Flight 18 - “How Long Will A Man Lie In The Earth ‘Ere He Rot?”2:00:00 - Final Thoughts2:05:10 - Pat’s Steals ‘n’ Deals2:09:55 - SignoffsJoin our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Bill Sienkiewicz arrives on the New Mutants to deliver us the absolutely fantastic Demon Bear Saga and the super fun arrival of Warlock and Doug to the book! It's so much fun, we had to bring along a guest to enjoy it with us. So Matt and Pat welcome Stephen Hesson from the Batting Around podcast to dive into it with us. We talk about X-Men: Evolution, Baseball, Marvel Movies, and then rave about Sienkiewicz's art for two hours.TOPICS DISCUSSED:BILL SIENKIEWICZ! A panel-breaking bear. Raving about the art so much. Cannonball with a shotgun. Trust us, this man is white. Who is this nurse with the chest hair? "I ain't worried about the Hulk, Bobby." Claremont's fetishization of Indigenous cultures. MEANWHILE, ACROSS THE GALAXY. Lilandra still dawdling. WOLFMAN! SHOOT IT! More raving about the art. Sam the religious himbo. Another Rahne Sinclair head injury. A really uncomfortable race-swap. Lonestar -> Moonstar? "TO: Dr. Strange RE: Demon Bear." Healer the Healer. "Drip Face" Whoops, by the way, Magneto's dead. Some Baseball friends. "ya dumb cluck!" WARLOCK! DOUG! A GREEN CAT ALIEN! LILA CHENEY! A Vrakanin, duh! Stealing a planet? A red-headed pervert Iggy Pop. Timestamps0:00 - Hellos21:30 - Pat's Email Corner26:30 - Do anything X-Men related?34:10 - New Mutants #18 - DEATH-HUNT49:20 - New Mutants #19 - SIEGE1:09:30 - New Mutants #20 - Badlands1:29:20 - New Mutants #21 - Slumber Party!1:53:05 - New Mutants Annual #1 - The Cosmic Cannonball Caper2:09:30 - Final thoughts2:10:35 - Pat's Steals n' Deals2:14:45 - GoodbyesCheck out the Batting Around Podcast: https://linktr.ee/battinaroundJoin our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

We're finally back to the regular ol' X-Men, and boy oh boy folks, did our patience ever pay off! Join us as we tackle some truly top-tier X-Men issues and start setting things back on course in the Marvel Universe. Plus, two (count em! two!) appearances from Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine! Tune in!Topics Discussed:Professor X fanfic. Pilk. Basketball and improv. Is Astro Boy real? Sunfire! Wolverine steals a child. The giant green dragon metaphor. An answering machine. Rogue’s thinking accent. This is not your soup. Storm’s new bedroom. A tough breakup. An all-timer issue. Juggernaut! Selene! Forge is here! Handsome ass. A forbidden Family Guy reference. A fleet of balloon boys.Timestamps:0:00 - Saying Hi and Catching Up10:30 - Pat’s Email Corner30:30 - X-Men-Related Things We’ve Done33:44 - Uncanny X-Men #181 : "Tokyo Story"54:44 - Uncanny X-Men #182: "Madness"1:13:06 - Uncanny X-Men #183: "He'll Never Make Me Cry"1:36:47 - Uncanny X-Men #184: "The Past of Future Days"1:50:30 - Uncanny X-Men Annual #7: "Scavenger Hunt"2:07:21 - Pat’s Steals ‘n’ DealsJoin our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Here it is, folks. The Big One. The Event to End* All Events (*start). It's the Toy Company-mandated Jim Stupid-penned Super-Hero Epic SECRET WARS! And, of course, the X-Men are in it. Or something approximating the X-Men.Matt and Pat struggle their way through this very long saga and have a lot more fun discussing it than reading it. Issues: Marvel Super-Heroes Secret Wars (1984) #1-12Topics Discussed:Professor X forgot. Galactus and the Wrecking Crew are equals. YOU'RE BEING MEAN TO DOOM. "Ach Nein Zein!" All the good guys fight all the bad guys. The planet's mysterious energies fix Jim Stupid's errors. Spider-Man's gonna rat on ya! The Weight of a Mountain. Everyone's worse than Hitler. The Size of a Solar System. Reed flailing! The chicken feather incident. Dazzler's murder of Klaw. Xavier's power is a joke. "SHUT UP, CYCLOPS!" The New Spider-Woman is here now... The Wasp is DEFINITELY dead. Thing has a good burn. Enchantress just complaining. An arrow hits harder than a bullet. The Wasp was NOT dead, she was just in some death-like stasis. Fightin' Doink-Its. Chippies. The funniest page turn reveal in history!Timestamps:1:00 - History of Secret Wars22:40 - Pat's Email Corner35:15 - Weapon Jason's recap of Marvel Super-Heroes coming into Secret Wars 42:00 - Did we do anything Secret?45:15 - Secret Wars Issue #1 57:23- Secret Wars Issue #21:05:25 - Secret Wars Issue #31:12:25 - Secret Wars Issue #4 1:23:30 - Secret Wars Issue #51:30:41 - Secret Wars Issue #61:42:25 - CHECK IN1:46:27 - Secret Wars Issue #71:55:00 - Secret Wars Issue #82:02:57 - Secret Wars Issue #92:08:46 - Secret Wars Issue #102:16:52 - Secret Wars Issue #112:29:50 - Secret Wars Issue #122:44:55 - Pat's Steals and Deals!2:49:23 - Ending2:53:54 - SECRET JOKEJoin our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Oh boy, folks - good episode, bad subject matter! The X-Men visit the Microverse, the Micronauts visit the Macroverse, and Kitty gets punched square in the face! Join us as we tackle what might be the worst run of X-comics so far, and as we spit on the graves of the Micronauts!***CONTENT WARNING*** for discussion of sexual abuse, manipulation, and grooming from 1:25:00-1:30:00Topics Discussed:These are not good comics. Soft canon. Bill Mantlo’s Christmas miracle! Pilk, blood, and lava. Strange Maine. What the hell is happening in the Microverse, and do we care? The Micronauts are here! We’ve got Starjammers at home. Spellbinder. They’re actually toys. Smoking Wolverine. Have you ever been stabbed by a thumbtack? Rocket-powered centaur. Kitty commands a war. Some really gross stuff. We’re pretty upset by the whole thing. Get girlfriends.Join our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

ALPHA FLIGHT IS BACK! And we get a bunch of solo adventures until the team comes together and IMMEDIATELY comes apart. This is a wild ride, folks. Join Matt and Pat on a trip to Canada with our favorite incredibly bad super-hero team.Topics Discussed:DEADLY EARNEST. Homosexual implications. "Why are you mushing my face?" The smartest man in the mall. Bashing through a window... sneakily. NEMESIS has a cool costume. Cutting between molecules. Blowing our minds back and forth. We keep forgetting about some Yanchus. Mike T.V. Detective Walter Langkowski. A physics-defying mustache. Blood Battle! Captain America's super super-hero sense. Super Skrull's Super Cancer. The Canadian Dance. OMEGA FLIGHT!! The rudest way to pick someone up from the airport. A long tangent on TV shows from 1966-67. Flashback sucks. ...And One Shall Surely Die. A taxonomy of super-hero teams.Join our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

What if there was another school for mutants? Well, there is! You'd know if you've been paying attention. But we're not holding that against you - instead, we're diving deep into what's going on at the Massachusetts Academy, and the weird team of fighting mutants that they've put together. Plus, more Doug Ramsey! Tune in!Topics Discussed:30 minutes of emails. More about Pilk. Jeremy Bear and Jeremy Succession. Brute forcing a brain. Trying to draw a dog. Fuck on the switch. Stevie Hunter is a hero! Doug is a creep. Xavier shooting hoops. Kitty is being a real ding. Doug is NOT a creep we love him! Rusher Street Rebels. The X-Men disappear (ugh). I don't think that's how Jesus works. Compu-scan. The Hellions are here! This kid can't get enough Magnum P.I. Everyone forgot about Doug.Join our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

This week, we're not hanging out with the X-Men, we're hanging out in Hell with a little girl! Colossus's little sister, to be clear. Illyana Nikolievna Rasputin, who spent an entire 7 years of her life in Limbo, consort to a Demon-Lord, surrounded by dead or corrupted versions of the X-Men we know. The time has come to learn what happened between those 2 panels in X-Men #160 in the MAGIK: STORM AND ILLYANA mini-series!Topics Discussed:The Bloodstone Amulet. BELASCO ONLY HAS ONE ARM!? Cat's wild costume. "This was stressful, I must get nude now." Black... crystals? If you're good enough at meditating, you don't have to go to the bathroom. S'ym sucks! A Savage Land Diorama. The blood argument again. The "GET UP!" trope. A Brief Discussion of Time. Pat's least favorite X-Men villain. The Mystery of Wolverine's Nipples. SQUIDGE! Illyana's mutant power?? The Darkchild. So many funny little demon guys! Pat made Matt say "titillates." How do bloodstones work again? Lil' face scratches. A dead tree. S'    ym. Cozendagen: https://lancasteronline.com/opinion/columnists/it-s-time-for-lancaster-county-to-launch-a-new-winter-holiday-cozendagen-column/article_6d50fcc4-1d13-4666-b2a4-e7fa74dda7a7.htmlJoin our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Issues: Uncanny X-Men #177-179,  Moon Knight #35, & Marvel Fanfare #24Happy February, folks! Bundle up with us as we dive back into the X-Men and the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants...gets away with it? We worry as every X-Man seems to die more than once, and Kitty marries a Morlock?! Oh yeah, and we swing by Moon Knight, the ballet, and the Avengers Mansion, too. Topics discussed:A lot of emails. More milk discussion. Wonder Man. A dog named Psylocke. Ken Griffey Jr. and Sr. All of the X-Men are dead. Carnival vs. Circus. Kitty's problems. Fire can't DO that! White hot to absolute zero. Seems pretty hopeless, honestly! Who took this picture?? The Baxter Building. Probable fatality. Morlock wedding. Leech is here! Fully metal man. The Fly. Dancing for your life. Moon Knight at the ballet. The floating Marvel Universe poker game! Carol tells an inappropriate joke.Join our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenace Write into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]   Join our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeV Instagram: @mutantmenacepod 

For an issue this big, and a crossover this wild, our ONLY option was to bring in a guest who is nerdier (and cooler) than us: Ernie, the BLERD WITHOUT FEAR. We have a goddamn blast discussing the weirdness that is The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans!Darkseid and Dark Phoenix? What's next, Dark Seidnix?Topics Discussed:"You only love me for my psi-con wave." Spatial Geometry Brain. Kitty makes dinner... or does she? WWWWWWWWWWW! Darkseid does cat-burglar shit. A weird one for Starfire. GARF. Kid Flash disassembles an engine. "Hey do you have any disbelief?" VA-VA-VOOM. Inhuman faces in Gotham. Bunkie. The Phoenix. The Teen Wonder? RAVARK THE RAVAGER! Murder-hungry Starfire vs Sleepy Xavier. Teen Titans Leeroy Jenkins'ing the X-Mansion. A familiar, remote Butte. A bright green parademon. Darkseid is Santa Claus. The X-Titans. Just blast 'im in the eyes.Blerd Without Fear on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BlerdWithoutFearJoin our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want (PATREON MEMBERS RECEIVED A WEEK'S EARLY ACCESS TO THIS EPISODE): patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

It's a New Mutants episode! We start with a pretty wild email segment and an even more wild Pat's Steals and Deals, but in the middle we meet Magma, Selene, and Doug Ramsey when the New Mutants visit an ancient Roman city in the middle of the Amazon, and then head back home to spill soda on each other.Topics Discussed:White People Wakanda. Amara Juliana Olivia Aquila. The New Mutants unconscious... again... Meanwhile, a bunch of nude men! SELENE! "'tis nah proper!" Kids rely on experience, not conviction. Bobby's growin' up! Incredible pervert faces. "Am I dreaming?" RIP Amara. Selene has too many powers. Sal Buscema missed the memo on Columns. MAGMA. Selene has every power. RIP Amara again. Gallio has goo-blood. Stop changing Dani's outfit. A hollow, underground mountain!?? "She's probably unkillable." A cool chair turnaround. "Wee Slip of a Girl". A wolf sneezing. Destroying a poor family's home. Daysze. Does Professor X respect the privacy of peoples' thoughts? DOUG RAMSEY! An interlude? GROAT CHIPS. REAL CHEAP! REAL BAD! Amara's cryin' rock.Join our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Bundle up, folks! We're headed up north of Westchester, NY to Canada, where the nation's former official superhero team is back in action! That's right; we're reading Alpha Flight, written AND penciled by X-Men legend John Byrne! They'll fight three god-level threats.  It's important!Topics Discussed:Chocolate milk. Beggle. Kicking a rock. The best man I’ve seen. Swarm of mosquitoes. Canadian Captain America. 1,000 miles per hour. “She who is a child of the gods”. Smallwood. A big, big hallway. John Byrne invents pipes screensaver.  Mechanical junk PLANETS. Namor and the Invisible Woman! We try to figure out what’s going on. Another swarm of mosquitoes. A hospital mystery with Puck! Yeesh. Kolomaq is here! Justice for Kolomaq! Five blank pages.Issues: Alpha Flight #1-6Join our Patreon! Free, or pay-what-you-want: patreon.com/mutantmenaceWrite into Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeV Instagram: @mutantmenacepod 

One of the funny things about reading all the X-Books at once is that sometimes they align very well, and sometimes they are so deeply incongruous that it’s head-spinning. This has never been so true as in this episode. In the X-Men, we have an epic conclusion to a thrilling super-villain tale about grief, loss, insanity, and how amazing Cyclops is. In New Mutants, we have a man named Axe who is holding an Axe and his mutant powers are he found an Axe.BUT at least we start the show with some EXCITING NEWS!!Topics Discussed:Cyclops whipped his thing off. Earthrise. The Lahzbees. A surprise kiss… I hate plants now. A familiar priest! “Hey fiancé, are you my dead girlfriend?” Goodbye, Paul Smith. Hello John Romita, Jr! Allegedly electricity. Jazzercise Kitty. GHOST CYCLOPS. A remote control on his hip! Kissing an ugly guy. Disguised as a cave. PHILLIP AND DEBORAH SUMMERS! The Wedding of Scott Summers and Madelyne Pryor. Claremont the lil’ pervo. “Judge” Petrie. VAL COOPER! Getting revenge on a shark! Nightcrawler’s cocoa. Professor X returns to his old ways. Carnival! A man named Axe holding and Axe and his powers are Axe. My fear is pink goo. A Magnum P.I. Plan: “Do A Plan.” Sunspot beats Axe’s Ass. WHY IS HE TRAINING THE MOTORCYCLE GUYS STILL!? Lots of fish fightin’. Kidnapping a random girl. Is this The Living Pharaoh again? Or Maga Yogi?Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Welcome back to the grind, folks! The holidays are over and we are right back into the action! Join us as we join the X-Men deep under Manhattan, high up in Alaska, and back over to Japan for a crazy destination wedding! Plus, we've been a little sick! Tune in!!Topics include:It’s 2026! We’re bad at compliments. Encyclopedias. Contest of Champions. The Drew Carey Show. We’re sick and rusty. Skin care with feathers. Candy Southern! Amanda Sefton! Nudecrawler. The Morlocks are here! Cassette tapes. Weak restraints. A duel to the death. Brilliant Paul Smith art. Carol Danvers visits her parents. Rogue’s back! The X-Men have gone to Japan! Rooftop city over here. Yukio and Ororo team-up. Rogue zipping around. Lilandra almost ruins the wedding. Punk Storm!Issues: Uncanny X-Men #169-173Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Happy New Year! Kick it off by visiting some iconic and, uh, uniconic moments in mutant history; and rest assured that, through it all, Professor Xavier is a JERK! Join us as we meet some of the silliest characters we've seen in a long while, and tackle it all with complete grace and professionalism. It's 2026!Topics Discussed:Coming clean. Matt Rogers. Professor Xavier is a JERK! Paul Smith’s perfect Wolverine. Stevie Hunter’s full mailing address. Booty calls. Tunnels. A dragon! You’ve gotta stop saying “stank face”. Dani’s frisbee skills. Can’t be hurt while I’m blasting. Mulled cider. Team America! Silver Samurai and Serpent. Running over people with motorcycles. Cerebrating. A very obvious plan. We just don’tacare. Can Cannonball see through walls?! 2 shacks 2 explosions. BLIP Magazine.Issues: Uncanny X-Men #168, X-Men Special Edition #1 (bonus story), New Mutants #4-6Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]   Join our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod 

Listen Bub, it's Christmas.... We're the best there is at what we do, and what we do is friggin precious! Matt and Pat welcome on YouTuber, podcaster, and friend PushingUpRoses to read the landmark 1983 WOLVERINE MINI-SERIES by Chris Claremont and Frank Miller.We get pretty goddamn deep on this one, so expect to laugh, cry, half-laugh/half-sob, and growl through this Christmas Day episode on WOLVERINE (Vol. 1) #1-4.Topics Discussed:Link climbing in the rain. Wolverine peaking between two knees. A rogue bear. One eye apart. Who is Wolverine's father? Unpackin' my costume. Undressing and redressing Logan. Professional assassins with terrible aim. YUKIO! THE HAND! A closet full of lamps. Not my Carmen Sandiego hat! "That is NOT a swimming position". One of the finest Kabuki troops Logan has ever seen. PICKING UP A SUMO WRESTLER!? Asan-ment. Bullet Train Chicken. An uncreative dream. Breaking the same window. Part-laugh/Part-sob. Spider-Man kicking through a box of cocaine. Can Wolverine get drunk? Weapon collecting.Find PushingUpRoses at: PushingUpRoses on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@pushinguproses Save Your Game https://zencastr.com/Save-Your-GameWrite in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

It's finally time to cover perhaps THE definitive X-Men story! Join us for God Loves, Man Kills; a deep, dark, and unsubtle exploration of the Mutant Metaphor. The topics are heavy, the writing is deep, and the art is striking. We tackle the silly and the serious with the help of our very cool guest, YouTuber and video maker Andre (@mostlyandre)! Tune in!Topics include:Egg Nog. A brief physics lesson. X-Men Evolution. Brent Anderson! Neal Adams! A very heavy prologue. Reverend William Stryker! Kitty whooping some jerk's ass. THAT moment. Nightline. Ariel?? The Mannequinov family. Not the Rolls! Wolverine's claws. Xavier's crucifixion. The Joe Rogan of the X-Men. Dr Phillip Ramsey. Abominations. The Village People. Idolatry. Magneto! John Cheever. Scott gets it. Dang that ruled.Find Andre on YouTube at @mostlyandre (https://www.youtube.com/@mostlyandre)Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeV Instagram: @mutantmenacepod (https://www.instagram.com/mutantmenacepod)

Issues: Marvel Graphic Novel #4, New Mutants #1-3, Uncanny X-Men #167It's a brand new day on Graymalkin Lane! Where a rebuilt Xavier Mansion hosts a brand new group of young mutants - you might even call them The New Mutants! Join us as we meet each member of this future-star-studded team and watch them write their own origin story, define themselves and their villains, and even take on the freakin X-Men themselves! Plus, a conclusion - FINALLY - to the final cliffhanger of the Brood Saga! Tune in!Topics discussed:Matt does his best. Al Jolson. You can’t trick us and you can’t derail us. Egg nog. No one wanted this. Bob McLeod. Torch-wielding mobs. Ruffled sleeve = Hellfire Club. White men. The scariest Wolverine possible. Wolf to werewolf to girl. Mind Tap. What file type is a thought? Superheroes with rifles. “Nossir.” Stevie Hunter is in over her head. “I can’t be hurt while I’m blastin’.” Psyche! ET at the Salem Center Mall. Col. Michael Rossi. Frigi-Beam. Sentinels! Magnum P.I. New Mutants vs. X-Men. Professor Xavier is a prick!Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

It's an epic tale of tragedy and heroism. Of good and evil. Of monsters and heroes. Of mutants and bugs. And it all takes place within these 6 issues. It's THE BROOD SAGA. The X-Men are shuffled off to space to fight a menace that legitimately proves too much for them to handle. It's a wild, emotional ride and we just absolutely loved it.Topics discussed: Was Illyana in Limbo a filler issue? Woke King Wolverine. Moira MacTaggert has Pikachu tears. The Xavier Stare. Xavier’s ethical failings. Following a mental map to a special African cave to find Hitler’s secret gold! A familiar man. WE LOVE WOLVERINE! The scale of Berzerker Moods. Punching VCRs. Illyana doesn’t know Xavier is a telepath? EFL without consent! Carol kills everyone by accident. So many bad cliff hangers!  PAUL SMITH!“I have to tap that White Hole”. Trying to justify Storm’s powers in space. The X-Men are set on genocide. Greaser Cyclops. Come into my mouth, I swear I have a plan! The Acanti Baby Plan. A DRAGON!?Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Folks, prepare yourselves for some truly Strange Tales as the X-Men hold hands with Dracula, take a quick trip to Limbo, and ignore time and space! We even get some incredible Spider-Man and Fantastic Four action, with the debut of a brand new mutant! Plus, some very impressive creative teams! Join us!Topics discussed:Bill Sienkiewicz! A very rude entrance. Harmony Young. Brothers blastin. Indiana Jones. Dracula?! Wolverine - NOT a christian. Jim Stupid. Divorce. ZARK! A Van Helsing! Big slap. Why Wolverine’s cool. Lilith! Very silly stuff. Stupid questions. Cripes! Limbo! Belasco! Bloodstones and an amulet. Creepy Nightcrawler. Old Storm. Time and space. Waving skeletons. Cerebus. 7 years in 2 panels! Karma! She possesses people. Frank Miller! Spider-Man & The Fantastic Four! So, so cool.Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeV Instagram: @mutantmenacepod

Get ready listeners - this episode, we introduce an iconic character with an iconic guest, Abby Denton! Comedian and writer of Gamer Mom! We're talking Avengers, ROM Spaceknight, and the X-Men all facing off with this...villain?!? Who IS this woman??Topics discussed:Jeez what DON'T we discuss? Local pro wrestling circuits. Gamer Mom. Digimon. San Francisco. Spider-Woman. Carol Danvers? The pretty fucked up events of Avengers 200. My Dark Angel. ROM's back! Is he stupid? The SISTERhood of Evil Mutants. Wraiths! Hybrid! Mack Killburn, Hack Reporter. Death by twirling. Two girlfriends. In love with ROM. Can claws do that? Alien virus. And a lot of mentions of Philadelphia. Go birds!Find Abby Denton here: https://abbydenton.com and the Gamer Mom Kickstarter here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/abbydenton/gamer-mom-the-mom-who-gamesWrite in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]   Join our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeV      Instagram: @mutantmenacepod

Buckle up, folks; we're going to space this episode! But first, we have to stop by and hang out with our friend Spider-Man! Get ready for adventures across New York, Earth's orbit, and the Shi'ar Empire, making friends like Corsair and the Starjammers along the way! A LOT of X-Men down, and an eerie forecast of things to come.Topics discussed:Guy Ritchie’s X-Men. Dog ate a book. Marvel movies. J.M. DeMatteis! Wolverine touchin' butts. Wolverine at Ren Faire. Bunkies. Roman orgies. Robot heads roll. Spider-Man’s awkward sleepover. Professor Anthony Power. Mentallo? The Fixer?? Vacation-mode Professor X. Corsair! Shi’ar drama! Father issues. Spider-bots blowing the hell up. Tigra! The Imperial Consort. Calling Professor Xavier “Charlie”. Kitty still in a bikini. The Brood?! Deathbird! Is Colossus dead?!? The Starjammers are back! Lilandra and Charles reunited. A full-fledged Space Opera. A handheld costume generator. Kitty’s raddest costume. Admirable Admiral. Xavier down! The Phoenix?! Nope haha. Peter Pan. Intercepting lasers. WEBWING! Another T-Rex.Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeV   Instagram: @mutantmenacepod

Issues: Marvel Fanfare #1-4, Marvel Treasury #27, Marvel Team Up #100 (back-up story), X-Men Annual #5We're not puffyfaffing around this episode! We're getting to it! We've got so many stories to tell you! Among them: A story about the Savage Land, Sauron, Angel, Mutates, and Spider-Man! A pointless short story about Angel beating up an underdog on behalf of his evil father! A story about how all African people know each other! And a story about the Badoon.Topics discussed:Extremely accurate Nightcrawler fancasting. Angel's Aerie. Warren's shirtless era. Peter Parker strips while fighting. Marvel Fanfare! Warren's nipples. The best T-Rex so far. Karl remembers his ex. A terrifying Big Bird. Insulted by a giant spider. “Watch me beat the shit out of your frog friend!” Tally ho! A polite earthquake. COLONEL CATHCART IS HERE! Moses Magnum...? “TIMBERIUS”!? WHERE'S LUPO!???!? “zonk”. A big moment for the frog-man. Angel runs away. The dreaded downdraft! The New Toad. They forget a cliffhanger. A gendered de-evolution machine. “The youth is demented!” Ka-Zar gets The Ick. SCOTT EDELMAN! Andreas De Ruyter! Walking from Cairo to South Africa to Kenya. “...in a word...” A big orange robot who looks like Alpha from the Power Rangers. Chris goes ALL OUT on the FF. “...in a word...” The Fantastic Four cause a lady's death. Finding the old bolts. Colossus' berzerker rage!Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Back in the X-Men’s main title, the X-Men are doing X-Men stuff! For example, fixing the Danger Room, visiting an old petrified friend/friend who may or may not be a Sun God, switching bodies, and telling bedtime stories! Also, we finally learn the origin of Magneto!?Topics discussed:Studying Kermit. Kitty’s new costume sucks! Being “precise” about “broads.” Curling with Colossus. Magneto the Designer. “Hey, Cyclops!” RONALD REAGAN IS HERE! The Bermuda Triangle. Magneto’s philosophy. BONK! Why is Carol Danvers here? X-Men goofin’ on the beach… Deus ex Claremont. A missed eye opportunity. A FREAKY FRIDAY. Cyclops Snipin’! THE ARMORY RETURNS. Distracting lettering. The worst “No time for that now!” yet. Kitty Pryde’s arch-nemesis. Persona Exchange Gun! Stevie Hunter’s life has gotten pretty fucked up. Sebastian Shaw hitting himself. “THIS IS FOR WOLVERINE, SWINE!”  Pirate Kitty! Wolverine is comic relief. Un-mutinying.Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Issues: Uncanny X-Men #147, Rom #17-18, Spider-Woman #37-38, Marvel Treasury #26The X-Men take some time off of their regular title to hang out with some pals in ROM, Spider-Woman, and Marvel Treasury! The boys say goodbye to an old frenemy, hello to some new characters, and get a cool new poster.Topics Discussed:ROM. A murderous, yet agreeable, Wolverine. Bill Mantlo hates people with disabilities. Ham-fisting. “So there’s two Steves?” A 15-year-old playing with trucks. Breaking your vow to murder a child. How to communicate a complex situation without talking. THE SECRET, THIRD SETTING. Wolverine can smell evil. Nightcrawler and Colossus makin’ out. “Who Am I?” Spider-Woman’s unfathomable backstory! La Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine. Sleeping with your landlord. Mint is not candy shop it’s where they make money. SIRYN! My buddy, Benny D’Israeli. AN UPDRAFT! Figuring out Cerebro ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! Black Tom’s Bio-Beam. PLOP, PLOP Bub. Wolverine loves a bar fight. Matt is a better writer than Lee Forrester. Caliban’s Natalie Portman-eque crush. 5 identical cliffhangers.Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepodShow less

Goodbye, John Byrne; we hardly knew ye! It's time to move on to bigger, fresher things like... Dave Cockrum? The infamous Claremont/Byrne run ends with a Kitty Pryde solo story that whips ass, followed by a Cyclops soio story that's... you know... it's fine. Then the X-Men get wrapped up in a big ol' Arcade/Dr. Doom catastrophe and we get... Dark Storm!?Topics discussed: Stealing a Christmas Tree. Home Alone/Alien. Brent Anderson! A demon era. MAN THING!? Paolo for Loser League. Reverse pool-hustling. Do you smell bad? Dave Cockrum returns! Iceman’s dorm room. Wolverine’s bare butt. Storm and Doom’s love story. Al or Lee? Reusing Arcade’s rooms. “EAT HOT LEAD SUCKER!” Doom’s sex robot. Havok pulls a Bugs Bunny. Claremont embellishing. Rogue & Storm! Oh, wait… Why not catch an updraft? “I don’t engage in fisticuffs” Covering a planet in Skin.Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Plus X-Men Annual #4!Hot off the heels of one of the most famous X-Men stories of all time, we take a short respite with… ONE OF THE GREATEST X-MEN STORIES OF ALL TIME. A story made even more salient, unfortunately, by current events. Plus, we get a recap issue, we get to know Kitty a bit more, and we take a brief pit stop in HELL (?)First, though, we spend some time imagining an X-Men Stardew Valley.Topics Include:A funeral, but other than that it’s pretty funny. Cyclops’ Brain damage. Holoempathic Matrix Crystal. Goodbye, Cyclops! A shirt that says “BITCH”. Warren’s back and worse than ever. “I’m sorry, Mr. Robot, but I’m much stronger than you.” A Wolverine and Nightcrawler road trip! STEVIE HUNTER!! The Night Creeper. Alpha Flight! Oh, the Wendigo. John Byrne is a baby. Snowbird is rude. Justin Trudeau. The Blob?? The NEW Brotherhood??? Days of Future Past!! It’s shorter than you think. Big Alex, Robbo, and George. Logan looks fucking cool, twice. Franklin Richards! A LOT of first-time appearances. The fulcrum. Everyone dies. Dr. Strange! The X-Men are going to Hell! Dante’s Inferno, but it’s a little messy. This run was good. Saturday Morning Cartoons.VISIT OUR NEW FRIENDS at Big Bang Comics in Bayamon, PR, Blackbird Comics in North Las Vegas, NV, and Nerds 4 Ever in Newcastle, WY!Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepodShow less

GIANT-SIZED SPECTACULARThis is a big one folks. An epic episode for an epic story. The Dark Phoenix Saga is one of the most transformative and dramatic chapters in all of X-Men history and listen, it’s every bit as good as (or better than) you’d imagine. These 9 issues bring in the Hellfire Club, Sebastian Shaw and Emma Frost, Dazzler, KITTY F’IN PRYDE, Senator Robert Kelly, and a bunch of unforgettable random henchmen like “Murray” and “Jacko.” Plus, the return of Angel, a creepy old villain, and –for a second– Peter Corbeau (with his clothes on).This story was so big that Matt and Pat couldn’t handle it alone, so they brought in the very funny actor and fight choreographer QUINTON J. ALEXANDER to help!The drama is high. The action is intense. The characterizations are note-perfect. The consequences are far-reaching. And Matt, Pat, and Quinton are stoked about it.Topics Include:Scott wasn’t thinking about it! Professor X can’t stop getting cucked. Giving a 47-year-old man 10 demerits. Why didn’t they buy Blob ice cream? A blowing-guys-up epidemic. DISCO DAZZLER. Emma Frost is not hot, she’s just rich! An awkward Blackbird flight. “It’s okay to be scared, as long as I don’t let my fear foul me up.” Goons are people, too. A teapot bun. We always comment when someone is shirtless. John Byrne Techno-Tunnels. Harry Leland sucks. Emma Frost is a super inventor? Why people like Wolverine. “If woman become powerful… She start kiss everybody?” #TheyBonedontheButte The X-Men Plummeting To The Ground Rule. The Book of Hells. “A galaxy far, far away.” Just a basic pnemonic scrambler. Angel is also here. Professor X fucks up everything. No one got to pack jammies. The Blue Area of the Moon. A robot that’s two robots, my one weakness! The Watcher sucks. “Impies.” We all get choked up.Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our new Discord: https://discord.gg/fPv7hRgTeVInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Issues Covered: The Champions #11-17, Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #17-18, Incredible Hulk Annual #7We’re losing our goddamn minds. In the second installment of our marathon record of the entire 1975 run of the Champions, we start falling apart! Were humans even meant to podcast this long? Topics Discussed:John Byrne is here! The Two-Gun Kid makes an appearance. Bill Mantlo still the worst. Stilt Man?!? The Stranger?!? Kamo Tharn?!? Hive?!? This is all so stupid (Pat, you can't do this in the description!!) The Champscraft. Former Nazi and avid Beekeeper. Bees everywhere. A bunch of other issues we forgot about. Beast?!? Magneto?!? Dr. Doom?!?Jimmy Carter?!? Vanisher?!? Boy this stays stupid. Spidey?!? The Hulk?!? Terri Sue Bottoms!?!?!? Matt and Pat deliriously sound tf off.Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected] our new Discord: https://discord.gg/rEwuSmfUInstagram: @mutantmenacepod

Matt and Pat are depriving themselves of sleep so that they can bring you a marathon episode of TEN ISSUES of THE CHAMPIONS in a row! It's gonna be a wild ride, as we catch up with former and future X-Men Angel and Iceman in Los Angeles. New Russian teacher Black Widow, guest lecturer Hercules, delivery boy Ghost Rider, and students Angel and Iceman all meet up on the campus of UCLA and the absurdity just continues from there. Strap in and get yourself a pizza because this is gonna get weird.Topics discussed:JENNY ISABELLA! Dadfriend. Questionable mythology (in the book, and from the podcast). WHY ARE THEY ALL THERE? A trustworthy cadre of devils. Huntsman is maybe the worst character we've ever met. The Warren Commission. Making a deal with the Devil sucks. Diva Ghost Rider. An Instrument of Peace. There's gonna be a murder in Malibu! "Friend...?" Whoops, Warren's parents are dead. Everybody is Charles Bronson. Iceman's big pouty lips. You can't push lawyers. An AI summary of Spider-Man's core value. ICEMAN COMETH COUNT: 4. Vince Colletta inking over backgrounds. Bullying someone into hiring a lawyer. DARKSTAR! Angel gets his gas bombs back! Three people spying on the Champions all at once. "The Heroes for the Common Man." Ripping out a wall to chase a child. The TITANIUM man? BOB HALL. He survives but he explodes to death. Ghost Rider would make a terrible EMT. A device that tracks pearls that look like each other. "Lenin's Comrade, comrade!" Dick Fenster: Boy Public Relations Man. Black Widow pulls a Ferris Beuller. THE SPOILERS! How is Johnny Blaze's identity secret!?? Darkstar has every power. The Champions abandon a plane in midair. Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

Not much of an intro this week. We've really gotta start doing more X-Men related stuff, I guess. But then we get into a rip-roaring, intense few issues where we finally meet the elusive MUTANT X (remember? from the door?)! Also, just fair warning, there’s some pretty rough stuff in this one (CW: descriptions and discussion of sexual assault and rape)Topics Include:Angus MacWhirter?? Jean and Moira are serving looks on Muir Island. Just who the hell is this Jason Wynnegarde guy?? We don’t trust him. Subtly cucked in space. What a beautiful Scott and Hank reunion. A less-than-beautiful Scott and Jean reunion. Claremont HATES Jamie Madrox. The Trenchcoat. Oh no, Ferdie Duncan! Jean hunts a human. Wolverine’s skeleton is metal?? We don’t have to call him Mutant X anymore. Scott never forgets a slight. “That’s not what you said when the Leprechauns were here.” Has Moira MacTaggert lost her damn mind?! Sparring in the hot cocoa grove. A sharp sweater on a horrible man. Dai Thomas! This stuff is pretty fucking dark. Does Proteus make sense? Do these bees have souls? The horror of being enclosed in the earth. “OWW!” Now let’s do a silly one. Danger Room antics. Arkon the half-nude cave viking. The Imperion! Colossus on a dragon!! Storm’s great sacrifice – or Scott’s? The difference between Claremont and Thomas.Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

PLUS: Power Man & Iron Fist #56-57 After an unbelievably long journey, the X-Men FINALLY MAKE it home! But first, they have to stop in Calgary, Alberta and fight a brand new super-team named ALPHA FLIGHT. And THEN they make it home... BUT FIRST AGAIN they have to visit Iron Fist, obviously, and meet up with the worst cameo villain ever. And THEN they make it home. And INSTANTLY have to deal with a new dork who puts them in a big pinball machine.Topics Include:Former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau. Jeryn Hogarth, Lawyerboss. "I LIKE the X-Men." Cyclops is gonna kill ALPHA FLIGHT. Burt. Major Mapleleaf. Darice Duck. Is Mutant Menace going to read Alpha Flight? "That stinks, mister!"  Cyclops hates Canada. The Living Monolith crouching in an empty apartment. The traditional X-Men visit to Iron Fist. Why do Misty Knight and Scott Summers not talk!? Misty scolds Scott... Twice! Iron Fist and Havok really get into it. A big bag of Cheops. Three Archaeologists = One Mutant. Who is Jason Wyngarde? Nightcrawlers greatest fear: Bumper cars with buzzsaws! Proletarian? Arcade's permits. Cracklin' Rosa. What's the point of a Robot Magneto? Betsy is DONE. Cyclaugh! Pat admits to a Federal Crime!Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

The last we saw the X-Men, they were in dire straits! Most of the team was about to be buried under a flood of lava in an underground laboratory in the middle of the Antarctic, while Beast and Phoenix had collapsed in the frozen wastes, after barely escaping with their lives. Is this just 5 issues of everyone being dead? Let's dig in and find out!Topics Discussed:Vacation Scott. The X-Men have sex. Wolverine's torn picture. A menacing nude man. The crew from the Thing fails to learn a lesson. Pat Reber: Hero to Bisexuals. Ka-Zar is glad to see the X-Men go. A love affair with Nereel. The Wolverine Sweet Spot. Garokk the Petrified Man aka Garokk the Sun-God. Ka-Zar is cancelled. A whiney Charles Xavier. AMAHL FAROUK and his little sunglasses. Xavier's arch-nemesis collection. In this bad a blow? YOU DON'T KNOW HIS FIRST NAME! Sunfire's back! Moses Magnum, Master of the Magnum Force. MARIKO YASHIDA! Plan Gemini for "Syncopation". Angus McWhorter is back! Remember, Banshee is always screaming. Misty Knight is the world's worst friend.Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

Issues: Marvel Team-Up #69-70, Defenders #62-65Last we saw Alex Summers, Havok, and Lorna Dane, Polaris, they were being blasted point-blank by the god-tier-power-level Firelord. So what happened to them next? Matt and Pat, brave podcast adventurers that they are, venture to find out! Detour with us as we scour the Marvel Universe for HAVOK and POLARIS.Topics Include:We'll FINALLY get an origin for the Living Pharaoh... right? Nooo not Professor Craig's office! White men dressed as pharaohs. With Great Boredom Comes Whatever. A web disaster. Bunkies. Spider-Man twerking. A strong face, a weak ass. Gods vs Cosmic. Spider-Man foraging. The limits of Diplomatic Immunity. Membership Madness! DAVID KRAFT!! Drawing bad cinematography. "Do I have to be BLACK Goliath?" A game of frisbee. "I just remembered that I'm an Avenger." Stealing your Dad's car as a joke. Riding in a car with a Goliath. Plantman is here too. Toad has regressed. Flipping off the fun switch. "The Porcupine is here!" Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

Issues:  X-Men #109-113Pat won’t stop getting horned-up for the X-Men, but it’s hard to blame him when we’re reading comics as hot as these ones! With John Byrne fully on board the book, this chunk of issues sees the return of some major villains, and a robot spoon-feeding Wolverine.Topics Include:Pat’s fuzzy. John Byrne is HERE! NUDITY. Lilandra’s struggle with government bureaucracy. Kurt and Scott have a tough conversation. Piotr, the oblivious unicorn. Captain Alpha! “By Lenin’s Beard!” The X-Men are playing baseball! WARHAWK and his mysterious superior. Cyclops owes Wolverine one. Captain Delaney and his friends are sick of the X-Men. The circus comes to town. The “Hey Rube” debate continues. Mind control? Bruno and Jukie: Our Favorite Ones! We don’t talk about Jim Shooter. Cockrum still on covers. “The gentleman’s name is Magneto.” The circus leaves town – flying! Antarctic volcanoes. Too many bases for one man. Babying the X-Men. Matt explains how magnets work. The book’s monthly now! Storm is a dangerous baby. New psychic comms! What will the X-Men do?? Jean’s Different. Magneto looks great. Free & Weird.Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

Issues:  X-Men #106-108, Marvel Team-Up Annual #1, Marvel Team-Up #53, Iron Fist #15It's a stunning conclusion to the X-Men's first galactic adventure AND Dave Cockrum's first X-Men run. Matt and Pat also fill you in on some of the other stuff that's been going on with the X-Men in other Marvel books... unfortunately.Topics Include:Bill Mantlo. The Letterin' Rosen Boys! "Nobody cramps my style!" Duplicates again... Where have the X-Men never gone? A Barrach'an Shovel Beast. Nude Fang. A call-back to the Z'Nox. THE STARJAMMERS! Peter Corbeau learns his lesson. Everyone evolves into primates. THE KURT REPURT. Why is Shakari Eric the Red!? Starting an intergalactic war on a whim. Spread-eagle, taint-first. R.I.P. Dave Cockrum. JOHN FUCKIN' BYRNE! Jahf Supreme. I AM 1000X STRONGER THAN THE LAST GUY. Kabballah. "Until they fill out the paperwork, they have to kill me." A colorist named 'Hugh.' "My student, Errol Flynn!" Peter Parker disappears on a plane... and where did Spider-Man come from?? Anti-radiation spray. Something that's supposed to be normal is now outer space. Yama Dharma and his 6 friends. "Are you Peter Parker?" A bad issue. "Let him go, Wolver." WOODGOD. If you're in Nevada, you're gonna have to deal with the Hulk. The town's nerve gas tank. Chekhov's Anti-Radiation Spray. NOT-Chekhov's Sonic Scream. A bad case of heartburn. An Iron Fist Slapstick Comedy. A mention of some villain named "Sabretooth"??? NO MORE IMAGE INDUCER! "God of Us All!" Fantastic art in every Iron Fist book.Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

WELCOME NEW LISTENERS! You're just in time for the return (?) of a beloved character who we were POSITIVE died last issue! Matt watched New Mutants (2020), Pat visited a bunch of comic book stores, and we take a trip through to the end of Chris Claremont's second year on The X-Men, as a bunch of weird stuff happens and it might be connected?Topics Include:Furry Nightcrawler. The Month of 100 Editors. Jean Grey, who did NOT die… Everyone wants to kill Nightcrawler. The X-Men are going to Ireland! Wolverine hates vacation. Cassidy Senechal Eamon O’Donnell. A real Canadian Tuxedo. Black Tom and Juggernaut; true friends. The ol’ “bad Irish road maintenance” trope. An X-Polycule. Nightcrawler is so damn cool. Storm’s (maybe too many) origins! "You ungrateful, unspeakable cur!" MISTY KNIGHT! Stop answering our rhetorical questions, Chris Claremont! Literal Leprechauns. The Suez War (bad). The Arm That Looks Like Spider-Woman? LOGAN!!! Neuronic Tangler Glove. Sword/axe/castle/thunder! "YOU KILLED MY FRIEND NOOOO!" Dungeons & Dragons. Apologies to Andy Yanchus. ANGUS MACWHIRTER! Eric the damn Red again. Banshee has the most metal power. A "form-fitting coffin." Alien bug... lady? The Furies. THE STARJAMMERS!! Why is Firelord here? Ohhh The Arm That Looks Like Spider-Woman! The X-Men sitting around drinking coffee. Phoenix is uhhhh pretty powerful. How many Dave Cockrums are there?Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

Matt and Pat cover the entire first year of the legendary CHRIS CLAREMONT run on the X-Men. From Moira MacTaggert to the fate of Thunderbird to Steven Lang to Polaris’s new name to the return of the Sentinels to the fate of Jean Grey. It’s a wild ride as the comic book gets truly, utterly good.Topics include:The issue number is a LIE. NAAD. Joe Harris’ button thing. “I love a man named Gort.” Thunderbird punches a jet. A very respectful death. The narrator taunts Cyclops. Why is there a cairn there? Getting to KNOW Moira MacTaggert. “Hey man, this is crazy.” They blew up Keirrok’s cookie jar. Why is Eric the Red back? Is Wolverine’s hair shaped for his hat or his hat shaped for his hair? Peter Corbeau’s harrowing, pointless, off-panel journey. “Oh my god.” Nightcrawler can’t stop making friends. Matt’s Grand Theory of Mutancy. The Q*Bert Kids. Jean Grey becomes a character, finally. 100 IS A FRAUD. The First Fastball Special. Skin-Beast. “You little—!” FREE BOOK!Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

Before Matt and Pat took on one of the most important X-Men issues of ALL TIME, we needed to bring in a heavy hitter. Alex Goldman, from the podcast Hyperfixed, joins us to tackle the introduction of some of the most beloved characters in comic book history and a big island that’s also a mutant.Topics include:Sleeping in the Superman movie. Flying around in a cloud. Cat eyes. The X-Men arcade game. A bunch of Aztec gods stomping around. "Lorna Dale?" Recruiting X-Men by race-baiting. Another torch-wielding mob. Wolverine the business-man. Cut your boss's tie. Storm can only grant one wish. Sephiroth Posting. Cyclops is NOT a baby. Bobby Drake experimenting with Groucho eyebrows.  A Force that Assaults. “Please don’t call me ‘Thunderbird’.” The Ringo of the group. The murder of Captain Planet.Listen to Hyperfixed: https://www.hyperfixedpod.com/Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

In this SPECIAL BONUS RECAP EPISODE, lucky listener Sine Wave Seán joins Matt and Pat (who are actually the lucky ones!) to bring listeners up to speed on all we’ve been through so far in the first 66 issues of the X-Men and the first 16 episodes of Mutant Menace!We tell you all about the X-men so far, including: The Beast aka Hank McCoy, cool hippy stoner Iceman aka Bobby Drake, performative about everything except friendship and ice cream Angel aka Warren Worthington III, the happy-go-lucky rich kid who loses fights Cyclops aka Scott “Slim” Summers, an anxious romantic leader-type who gets hit in the head a lot Marvel Girl aka Jean Grey, a woman who has done almost nothing yet Professor X aka Professor Charles Xavier, the weird creep who used to be cool but got full of his own ego and started a paramilitary cult Lorna Dane aka Lorna Dane, green-haired woman who does the X-Men’s laundry Havok aka Alex Summers, the sweetheart younger brother of Cyclops who has reluctantly joined the team Also the MimicWe also go over all of the X-Men’s villains, big and small and the definitive Loser League!Check out the Sine Wave podcast: https://shows.acast.com/sine-wavesWrite in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

Issues: Defenders #15-16, Hulk #180-182, Giant-Size Fantastic Four #4What’s that we see? Some light shining in the distance of this dark, dark void? Well first, we have to wade through baby villains, a scrappy new Canadian anti-hero, an obscure Fantastic Four antagonist, and so so much Hulk stuff. But two new writers enter our world, a guy named Len Wein and a kid named Chris Claremont. Wonder if they can save us?Topics Include:Our Steve Englehart mea culpa. Pat was right about Frank Miller. LEN WEIN! Flying from New York to New Mexico with a jetpack. Toad or Lorelei. “How to Grow the Ultimate Mutant in a Tube.” Kyle Richmond, Boy Tycoon! Jetpack physics. Doctor Strange has an exclamation quota. A bunch of babies. Hulk stuff. The Wendigo. Introducing… The Wolverine! Multiple Georges. Hammer and Anvil and their powerful chain. The Fantastic Four are assholes. Madrox the Multiple Man. “Someone knock the original baby unconscious.”Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

Issues: Marvel Team-Up #4, Avengers #103-104 & #110-111, Captain America #172-175The X-Men are STILL CANCELLED so Matt and Pat continue to scrape the bottom of that barrel, looking for X-Men appearances in other Marvel comics. We manage to find some, but with far less X-Men and far more… other guys.Topics Include:Matching X-Men and Pokemon. Gerry Conway! Dr. Hans Jrgromsahn. Morbius is NOT A VAMPIRE. What do Spider-Man’s webs smell like? Spider-Man assaults Jean Grey. Angel is feelin’ himself. Hawkeye’s worst costume. Blob erasure. Why is there no MCU Rick Jones? More dinosaur abuse. Big sexy T-Rex legs. Magneto doesn’t wanna carry the X-Men. “Dance sexy, daughter!” Moonstone is a person. “Cheez! Double Cheez!” Captain America’s very good plan. Captain America’s very bad plan. Did Richard Nixon kill himself?Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod

Issues: Hulk #150, Amazing Adventures #11-17, Hulk #161, Hulk #172The X-Men are cancelled and we're swimming in a dark, tideless sea of 1970's Marvel comics, grasping around for any mutant life-rafts we can find. This one has a weird energy, folks. With no main series to guide them, Matt and Pat have to generate their own momentum and they certainly try their best.Topics:Will we ever get the intro right? The X-Men do their jobs. Are my pants ruined? Is everything ruined?? Is the Hulk ever good? Dr. Alan Grant. Concentric circles. Metabolic time sense? Surely that’s all we’ll ever hear from the Maddickses. Mike Plug. Harvey Fierstein as Bernard the Poet. Iron Man DEAD! Buzz Baxter & Patsy Walker! Mastermind’s bad plan. The diamond underworld is a small world. "Like soap through a fist!" Blob and Unus got a good thing goin' on. Fine, no more curses! Sherlock Holmes’ stupid apartment. Linda Donaldson's a bad wingman. Quasimodo again?? Hank can’t kiss his girlfriend. SECRET EMPIRE! An old flame returns. Halloween in Rutland, VT! Juggernaut and his pink hole in the sky. Tom Fagan’s Halloween Party. Full suit, furry face. JIM STARLIN! He is BLUE. No respect for Mounties. Ugh, the Mimic. CANADA! No, the Hulk is never good. Batman.Write in to Pat's Email Corner: [email protected]: @mutantmenacepod