Normal but Not

Ever feel like self-care is just another thing on your to-do list? Or that it requires a $400 spa day you don’t have time or money for? SAME. In this episode of Normal but Not, we’re getting real about why self-care feels so damn hard—and how to make it work for you without the guilt, the pressure, or the overpriced candles.🔥 In This Episode, We Cover:✅ Why self-care isn’t about luxury—it’s about survival✅ How social media has totally lied to us about what self-care should look like✅ Real, no-cost, no-time self-care strategies that actually help✅ Why prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean neglecting others✅ Quick, actionable steps you can take RIGHT NOW (seriously, unclench your jaw)📚 Related Episodes:🎧 Guilt-Free Boundaries: The Key to Reclaiming Your Power🎧 When You’re Running on Empty: Burnout & Recovery🎧 Are You Being Too Nice? The Truth About People-Pleasing💡 Ready to take self-care seriously (without the guilt)? Grab my free cheat sheet, Setting Boundaries Without Guilt, at krystalcentinello.com.📲 Let’s Connect:✨ Instagram: @completecoachingwithkrystal✨ Website: krystalcentinello.com🔔 Next Week:Is It Normal to Feel Guilty for Putting Yourself First? Spoiler alert: You’re gonna want to hear this one.Press play, take a deep breath, and let’s make self-care simple. 💖

Ever felt like you had to shrink yourself to keep the peace? In this episode ofNormal but Not, I sit down with Danielle Merrill—certified sacred geometry worker, customer relations manager, yoga instructor, actress, and fellow recovering people-pleaser—to dive into the lasting impact of emotionally immature parents.We share personal stories of people-pleasing, the power of awareness in breaking these patterns, and why choosing love over fear is a game-changer. Plus, we explore sacred geometry work, the “Who Am I?” identity crisis, and the surprising role of destructive cats in our healing journeys.If you’ve ever struggled with feeling small, questioning your worth, or navigating relationships with emotionally immature parents, this episode is for you.In This Episode, We Cover:✔️ How emotionally immature parents shape people-pleasing tendencies✔️ The importance of awareness in healing and self-discovery✔️ Choosing love over fear in relationships and personal growth✔️ Sacred geometry work and how it supports inner transformation✔️ Dealing with the “Who Am I?” identity crisis and reclaiming your power✔️ The unexpected lessons from chaotic cats 🐱📚Referenced Books:Codependent No More by Melody BeattieHow to Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePeraAdult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. GibsonFive Minute Journal🎧Tune in and tag us with your biggest takeaways!🔗Connect with Us:Krystal:@completecoachingwithkrystal |krystalcentinello.comDanielle:@dannicake8

Description:In this special episode of Normal but Not, I’m joined by my husband to explore what it’s like to support a recovering people-pleaser in a relationship. We dive into how my people-pleasing tendencies showed up early in our relationship, the challenges that came with learning to set boundaries, and how we’ve grown together through the process. If you’ve ever felt like you have to be everything for everyone—even in your closest relationships—this episode is for you. We’ll share key turning points, practical insights for both people-pleasers and their partners, and a few humorous moments along the way. In This Episode, We Cover:✔️ How people-pleasing affected my relationships before meeting my husband✔️ His perspective on my growth and the challenges we faced✔️ How to balance independence and partnership in a healthy relationship✔️ Tips for both people-pleasers and their partners to build stronger connections 🎧 Listen now and tag me on Instagram (@completecoachingwithkrystal) with your biggest takeaway! 🔗 Take my free quiz: What Type of People-Pleaser Are You? Next week: Is It Normal to Struggle with Self-Care? Don’t miss it!

"Is It Normal to Feel Uncomfortable Around Straightforward People?" Hi, I’m Krystal, a trauma-informed coach and recovering people-pleaser, here to help you reclaim your power, find your voice, and set boundaries without guilt. Welcome to Normal but Not, the podcast where we unpack behaviors that feel “normal” but aren’t always helpful. In this episode, we’re tackling a big question: Is it normal to feel uncomfortable around straightforward people? If you’ve ever felt uneasy when someone clearly states their needs or effortlessly sets boundaries, you’re not alone. This reaction is incredibly common among people-pleasers, but it doesn’t have to define you. Why Straightforward People Feel Triggering: Insights from psychologists like Dr. Harriet Lerner and Dr. Gabor Maté on how childhood experiences shape people-pleasing behaviors. How enmeshed or authoritarian family dynamics can make assertiveness feel risky or rebellious. The Root of the Discomfort: How early patterns of suppressing your needs to maintain harmony can clash with witnessing others prioritize themselves. Personal anecdotes about growing up in a “don’t rock the boat” household and how that shaped my own struggles with honesty and directness. How This Impacts Adulthood: Subtle ways discomfort with straightforwardness shows up in your relationships, career, and self-talk. Why we admire confident people but also feel triggered by them. Actionable Steps to Embrace Confidence: Tips for identifying your triggers and reframing how you perceive assertive individuals. How to practice small, confidence-building acts of directness in your daily life. Affirmations to combat the fear of being seen as “difficult” when stating your needs. Join My January 25 Workshop: Trauma to Triumph: Setting Boundaries That Transform is designed to help you set boundaries without guilt and reclaim your confidence. Take My Quiz: What Kind of People-Pleaser Are You? Discover more about your unique patterns and how to break free. Instagram: @completecoachingwithkrystal for daily tips and inspiration. Resources and Workshop Sign-Up: Complete Coaching with Krystal.

Episode #12 – Is It Normal to Become a People-Pleaser After Growing Up with an Angry Parent? IntroductionWelcome back to Normal but Not! I’m Krystal Centinello, your trauma-informed boundaries and empowerment coach, helping recovering people-pleasers like you step into your power and authenticity. If you’ve ever spent your childhood walking on eggshells around a short-tempered parent, trying to keep the peace and avoid conflict, this episode is for you. We’ll unpack the connection between growing up with an angry parent and becoming a people-pleaser as an adult. I’ll share personal stories, research insights, and actionable steps to help you reclaim your voice and stop prioritizing others at the expense of yourself. And stick around until the end—I’ll tell you about my upcoming workshop, Trauma to Triumph: Setting Boundaries that Transform in 1 Hour, happening on January 25th! What You'll Learn in This Episode How living with a high-temper parent leads to people-pleasing behavior. Why "walking on eggshells" becomes second nature and its long-term impact on relationships. Lessons from Liane Moriarty’s Apples Never Fall and how fiction mirrors real life. Practical steps to break free from the cycle of hypervigilance and overgiving. Highlights Walking on Eggshells: Learn how regulating a parent’s emotions instead of your own as a child creates unhealthy habits in adulthood. Attachment Styles: Discover how anxious attachment develops when a parent is unpredictable or critical. Lessons from Fiction: Explore how the Delaney siblings in Apples Never Fall adapted to their father’s temper—and how their strategies might reflect your own. Breaking the Cycle: Actionable tools to identify family patterns, reclaim your voice, set boundaries, and challenge the fear of conflict. Resources Mentioned in This Episode Dr. Nicole LaPera’s insights on hypervigilance. Toxic Parents by Dr. Susan Forward. Apples Never Fall by Liane Moriarty. Take the Next Step🎉 Ready to stop people-pleasing and set boundaries with confidence? Join my workshop Trauma to Triumph: Setting Boundaries that Transform in 1 Hour on January 25th. Learn how to say no without guilt and yes to yourself. Visit my website or follow me on Instagram @completecoachingwithkrystal for all the details. Stay Connected Take my free quiz: Are You a People-Pleaser? Follow me on Instagram: @completecoachingwithkrystal Explore more tools for reclaiming your power: Complete Coaching with Krystal Next Week’s EpisodeJoin me next week for Episode #13: Is It Normal to Feel Uncomfortable Around Straightforward People? If direct communication makes you squirm, we’ll explore why that might be—and how to navigate it. Thank you for tuning in to Normal but Not! If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, and review. Share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Remember, you don’t have to walk on eggshells anymore. You’ve got this!

Show Notes: Episode #11 – Is It Normal to Be Sensitive to Criticism? Episode Summary Welcome to Normal but Not! In today’s episode, we’re diving into a topic that strikes a chord with so many: sensitivity to criticism. If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by fear of judgment or found yourself people-pleasing to avoid conflict, this conversation is for you. We’ll explore: How enmeshed family systems shape our fear of criticism. Why criticism often masquerades as care in dysfunctional dynamics. Personal stories of breaking free from the "good girl" script. Actionable steps to overcome the fear of setting boundaries. Plus, learn about my Trauma to Triumph: Setting Boundaries that Transform in 1 Hour workshop on January 25th. What You'll Learn in This Episode The origins of sensitivity to criticism and its link to people-pleasing. How enmeshed family systems blur boundaries and reinforce unhealthy patterns. Practical steps to challenge internalized criticism and build confidence in setting boundaries. Workshop Mention 🎉 Ready to transform your life in just one hour? Join me on January 25th for Trauma to Triumph, a live workshop designed to help you set boundaries guilt-free. Visit my website or follow me on Instagram @completecoachingwithkrystal for details. Resources & Links Take my free quiz: Are You a People-Pleaser? Follow me on Instagram: @completecoachingwithkrystal Explore more tools to reclaim your power: Complete Coaching with Krystal Stay Connected Next week, we’re exploring Episode #12: Is It Normal to Become a People-Pleaser After Growing Up with an Angry Parent? We’ll unpack the long-term impact of angry parenting styles and share steps to reclaim your sense of self. Thanks for tuning in to Normal but Not! If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and share it with someone who needs to hear this message. See you next week!

Episode Title: Is It Normal to Be Drawn to or Retreat from Grandiose Personalities? Episode Summary:In this episode of Normal but Not, we dive into the fascinating—and often misunderstood—dynamic between people pleasers and grandiose personalities. Why are some of us irresistibly drawn to—or instinctively retreat from—narcissistic traits? I explore this "normal but not" connection, peeling back the layers to uncover how childhood wounds, like the narcissistic mother or father wound, shape these patterns. You'll learn: What grandiosity really is and how it serves as a survival strategy for narcissists. The toxic dance between people pleasers and grandiose personalities, and why it feels so familiar. The difference between the narcissistic mother wound and father wound—and how each leaves its mark. Three actionable steps to break free from this dynamic, including setting boundaries, healing your inner child, and recognizing unhealthy patterns. Plus, I share personal stories and real-life examples to help you spot these dynamics in your own life and take the first steps toward healthier relationships. Key Takeaways: Grandiosity is an inflated sense of self-importance, often masking deep insecurity. People pleasers and narcissists engage in a push-pull dynamic rooted in unmet childhood needs. Recognizing and healing your inner child is crucial to breaking free from this cycle. Workshop Alert:🎉 Trauma to Triumph: Setting Boundaries that Transform in 1 Hour is now open for registration! 🎉If you’re ready to stop people-pleasing and create guilt-free boundaries that feel empowering and aligned, this workshop is for you. Grab your spot now through the link here or in the show notes. Free Resource:Download my free guide: Are You Stuck in the Narcissist-People Pleaser Dance? Discover How to Break Free! Download here. Resources Mentioned: Free Cheat Sheet: Setting Boundaries Without Guilt Download here. Bill Eddy’s work on high-conflict personalities. Terry Real’s concept of narcissistic grandiosity. Let’s Connect: Follow me on Instagram: @completecoachingwithkrystal Check out my podcast Reclaim Your Pleasure: Link here Subscribe & Review:Don’t forget to subscribe to Normal but Not and leave a review if you enjoyed today’s episode. Your support helps us reach more people ready to redefine what’s truly healthy and authentic! 🎙 We’ll be back in January after a short holiday break. See you in the new year!

Episode SummaryPeople-pleasing may seem normal, but it’s far from healthy. In this episode of Normal but Not, Krystal Centinello unpacks the truth behind people-pleasing behaviors and explores the four main types of people pleasers: The Caretaker, The Peacekeeper, The True Pleaser, and The Manager. Drawing from her personal experiences and trauma-informed expertise, Krystal breaks down how these patterns develop, why they persist, and how you can start reclaiming your authenticity. What You’ll Learn in This Episode:💡 What people-pleasing really is (hint: it’s not kindness).💡 The fears and environments that create people-pleasing behaviors.💡 The four types of people pleasers and how they show up in your life.💡 Actionable steps to stop people-pleasing and start living authentically.💡 How to identify your type of people-pleaser with a free quiz tailored just for you. Take the QuizReady to discover your people-pleasing type? Take Krystal’s free quiz and get personalized tips to break free from people-pleasing patterns. Go to KrystalCentinello.com/type to take the quiz. Actionable Steps to Break Free from People-Pleasing✔️ Name It to Tame It: Identify your type and recognize when you’re acting to meet others’ expectations rather than your own.✔️ Set Small Boundaries: Practice saying “no” or voicing your opinion in low-stakes situations.✔️ Practice Self-Compassion: Celebrate small wins and be patient with yourself as you unlearn these patterns. Join the ConversationHave you struggled with people-pleasing? Which type resonates with you most? Share your thoughts on Instagram and tag @completecoachingwithkrystal to join the conversation! Follow & Connect✨ Follow Krystal for more tips on boundaries, empowerment, and reclaiming your authenticity:Instagram: @completecoachingwithkrystal Don’t Forget to Subscribe!If you loved this episode, subscribe to Normal but Not and leave a review to help more recovering people pleasers find the show. See you next week!

In this episode of Normal but Not, Krystal Centinello dives into the comparison trap we all fall into—especially on social media. Is it normal to feel like you don’t measure up? Yes. But is it healthy? Not so much. Krystal shares personal stories, explores why we compare ourselves to others, and offers actionable steps to break free from the toxic spiral of self-doubt. What You’ll Learn: Why comparison feels so natural and yet so harmful. How social media fuels our insecurities. The importance of shifting your focus inward. Practical strategies to stop comparing and start celebrating your own journey. Actionable Steps: Journal Your Thoughts: Challenge comparison triggers by questioning their truth. Limit Social Media Time: Unfollow accounts that don’t serve you. Practice Gratitude: Focus on what’s good in your life. Affirm Your Worth: Use daily affirmations to celebrate your uniqueness. Celebrate Your Wins: Recognize your achievements—big or small. Pause and Reflect: Explore what jealousy is telling you about your desires. Resources & Links: Connect with Krystal on Instagram: @completecoachingwithkrystal Visit her website for tools and workshops: www.krystalcentinello.com Sign up for the FREE From Trauma to Triumph workshop: Setting Boundaries that Transform in 1 Hour Stay Connected:Subscribe to Normal but Not and share this episode with someone who needs encouragement. You’re not alone in this journey, and together we can redefine what’s truly “normal.”

Welcome to Normal but Not! In this episode, Krystal is joined by Kyra Newton, a Somatic Trauma Resolution practitioner dedicated to helping women regulate their nervous systems, release stored trauma, and heal emotional wounds somatically. Together, they explore how emotions get trapped in the body, why it’s crucial to feel boundaries instead of just setting them, and how to somatically heal for deeper relationships and emotional freedom. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: Kyra’s inspiring journey from fearing rejection to becoming a guide for somatic healing The connection between boundaries, attachment styles, and the body How to recognize when you’re overriding your emotional limits Why healing must involve the body, not just the mind Practical tips for releasing stuck emotions and tuning into your body’s signals Connect with Kyra: Instagram: @embodied_woman_ Email: [email protected] Resources Mentioned: Kyra’s Upcoming Workshop: Emotion Codes Krystal’s Free Cheat Sheet: Setting Boundaries Without Guilt Krystal’s Upcoming Workshop Stay Tuned: From Trauma to Triumph Setting Boundaries that Transform in 1-Hour Follow Krystal: Instagram: @completecoachingwithkrystal Don’t forget to subscribe for more episodes exploring what’s Normal but Not. See you next week!

Episode 6: Is Guilt Normal? Letting Go of Guilt to Reclaim Your Power Welcome back to Normal but Not! In this episode, host Krystal Centinello dives into the heavy and often misunderstood topic of guilt—a feeling that’s all too familiar for people-pleasers. If you’ve ever felt weighed down by guilt for setting boundaries, putting yourself first, or saying “no,” this episode is for you. Krystal shares her personal story of navigating guilt after her grandfather’s passing, a moment that forced her to make a tough choice between family expectations and financial stability as a single mom. She explains how guilt often stems from childhood conditioning or societal pressures and offers actionable steps to help you release its grip. Where guilt comes from: Explore how guilt often roots itself in childhood or societal expectations. Recognizing guilt triggers: Identify moments when guilt shows up and how to connect them to underlying beliefs. Reframing guilt: Learn how to view guilt as a signal that you’re prioritizing your well-being, not failing others. Practicing self-compassion: Create mantras to affirm your worth, even when tough decisions are necessary. Celebrating guilt-free wins: Track and celebrate moments when you overcome guilt and set boundaries. Setting boundaries on guilt itself: Make a commitment to stop letting guilt control your choices. Download the free PDF: Breaking Free from Guilt for more practical tools to reclaim your power. Follow Krystal on Instagram: @completecoachingwithkrystal for tips, inspiration, and real talk about living authentically. Guilt doesn’t have to rule your life. It’s time to embrace self-compassion, reclaim your power, and live unapologetically. Start small, celebrate your wins, and remember—you’re worthy of love and care, even when you make tough decisions. Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Normal but Not. See you next week for another deep dive into reclaiming your authenticity! What You'll Learn in This EpisodeResources MentionedTake the First Step

Welcome to Normal but Not! I’m Krystal Centinello, a trauma-informed coach here to help people-pleasers reclaim their power, set healthy boundaries, and live authentically. Today, we’re diving into one of the most universal but hidden fears many of us carry: the fear of being abandoned or disliked. In this episode, I share my own story of staying in an emotionally abusive relationship due to a deep fear of being unloved and judged. Together, we’ll unpack how early attachment styles often root these fears in childhood and how they show up in our adult relationships. From anxious to avoidant attachment, I’ll cover how our relationship dynamics can stem from early experiences with caregivers—and outline ways to reframe and heal. What We’ll Cover: Attachment Styles & Fears of Rejection: A look into how different attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized) can shape our fears. Where These Fears Come From: How childhood experiences with conditional love, inconsistent caregiving, or trauma influence our adult relationships. Practical Steps to Overcome These Fears: Identify the Root of Your Fear: Reflect on childhood experiences that may have planted the seeds of these fears. Journaling about this can be an enlightening start to healing. Challenge the Fear of Rejection: Reframe rejection as something that reflects more on others than on you. A mantra like "I am worthy, even if someone doesn’t approve of me" can be a helpful reminder. Practice Saying 'No' Without Fear: Begin by setting boundaries in small situations. You’ll start to see that people value you even when you’re not constantly saying "yes." Build Secure Relationships: Seek out relationships where you feel accepted as you are. Surrounding yourself with supportive people helps build resilience against the fear of being disliked. Break the Cycle for the Next Generation: If you’re a parent, model unconditional love, which can prevent children from developing these fears. Special Insight: The Fifth Agreement’s Movie Theater Analogy I also bring in The Fifth Agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz, using the "movie theater" analogy to explain why not taking things personally can be freeing. Imagine everyone as the star of their own "movie"—others’ words and actions reflect their own perceptions, not who we are. This mindset helps us detach from personalizing others' reactions and diminishes the fear of being disliked.

Episode Summary:In this episode of Normal but Not, Krystal delves into a complex topic that resonates with many adult children of alcoholics: growing up with a “fun” or “functional” alcoholic parent. This parent may have seemed like the life of the party, but beneath the surface, their actions often brought hidden dysfunction and unspoken pain. Krystal is joined by Jess Frost, a self-leadership and empowerment coach and co-founder of The 3E Space, who works specifically with adult children of alcoholics (ACoAs). Together, they explore the lasting effects of these early family dynamics and share ways to break free from roles that continue to impact relationships and self-worth in adulthood. Topics Covered: The emotional strain behind the “fun” alcoholic parent and why it might have felt normal at the time. Understanding the roles of Enabler, Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child, and Mascot in families affected by addiction. How these roles can shape self-esteem, vulnerability, and relationships well into adulthood. Actionable steps for ACoAs to start healing and create healthier patterns in their lives. About Our Guest:Jess Frost is a Self-Leadership and Empowerment Coach, Co-Founder of The 3E Space, and Founder of COurAgeous Healing and COurAgeous Connections, initiatives designed to support and empower adult children of alcoholics. After facing her own journey of burnout and recovery, Jess integrates a range of tools—including NLP, hypnotherapy, somatic EMDR, and breathwork—to help ACoAs reconnect with themselves and reclaim their lives. Key Takeaways: Redefining Normal – Growing up with a “fun” but unpredictable parent may feel normal, but it often masks deeper emotional tension. Understanding Roles – Uncover and release the roles like Hero, Scapegoat, and Lost Child that we unconsciously adopt to cope in dysfunctional family dynamics. The Healing Journey – Small, intentional steps can create powerful shifts. Jess shares actionable advice for ACoAs to begin healing and developing a healthy sense of self. Resources & Links: Jess Frost's Website - The 3E Space National Association for Children of Alcoholics (Nacoa) - nacoa.org.uk Jess’s Nacoa Article: Being a COA in the Workplace Instagram: @iamjessfrost and @the_3e_space Facebook: @jessfrostempowerment LinkedIn: Jess Frost

In this episode of Normal but Not, we’re asking a tough question: Is burnout just part of life, or are we accepting a “normal” that’s draining us dry? I dive into the common but hidden causes of burnout, especially for those of us who tend to overextend for others. From the personal stories of exhaustion that shaped my own journey to the real science behind why people-pleasers are particularly at risk, we’ll explore the true cost of constantly pushing ourselves to the limit. Plus, I’ll share ...

In this episode of Normal but Not, we’re diving into one of the most common people-pleasing habits—saying 'yes' when you really want to say 'no.' I’ll share personal stories from my own journey of overcoming this pattern, plus we’ll explore why it feels so ‘normal’ to sacrifice your own needs for others. You’ll hear the research behind why people-pleasing can lead to burnout and how it’s not as noble as we’ve been led to believe. Stick around for three actionable steps you can take right now ...

In this episode of "Normal, But Not," host Krystal Centinello dives deep into the concept of "good girl conditioning" and how it affects our well-being as adults. She explores the ingrained habits of people-pleasing, over-apologizing, and prioritizing others' needs at the expense of our own happiness. Krystal shares relatable anecdotes and practical steps to help listeners break free from these patterns, including how to say no without guilt and the importance of self-care. If you've ever fel...