Not Quite Typical:An AuDHD Podcast

Episode SummaryIn this episode I'm talking about masking and the way autistic and ADHD people learn to suppress, hide, and adapt their natural behaviours to fit in. Drawing on my own experience as a late-discovered AuDHD woman, I trace where my mask came from, how it showed up across every area of my life, and what the slow, complicated process of unmasking has looked like for me.Chapters0:02 — Introduction and the Not Quite Typical rebrand0:27 — Rebranding and setting up new platforms0:47 — What this podcast is for1:24 — The question at the heart of this episode: are you really being yourself?2:09 — What masking and unmasking actually mean3:04 — How masking behaviours show up day to day4:11 — Masking differently in different environments5:32 — Why masking is a survival strategy, not a choice6:15 — What the research says about masking and late diagnosis7:08 — Masking in the workplace and its long-term effects8:32 — My personal masking story begins10:40 — School, childhood, and where the mask first went on13:22 — The moment at eight years old that changed everything14:57 — A decade of observing and learning how to 'be normal'16:15 — Masking in work: scripting emails, hypervigilance, never leaving the desk17:28 — Starting to unmask — and how the cracks appear18:16 — Why unmasking is harder than it sounds20:02 — What happens when the mask comes off suddenly21:25 — Masking (and not masking) while working from home22:04 — 'I have workplace anxiety' and what that actually was23:42 — Finding spaces where the mask could come off24:46 — Unmasking on production sets25:38 — Acting courses and unmasking26:32 — Unmasking with the right people28:32 — Career choices shaped by what feels safe30:03 — Practical advice on unmasking gradually and safely32:14 — Finding safe zones and communities33:31 — Having conversations about unmasking in relationships and at work36:16 — Closing reflection: nothing needs to be fixedResearch & SourcesVan der Putten et al. (2023) — AuDHD individuals mask more than either autistic or ADHD people aloneCraddock, E. (2024) — AuDHD women who masked were diagnosed significantly later than those who didn'tPearson & Rose (2021) — masking linked to anxiety, depression, and identity erosionCook et al. (2023) — long-term effects of masking on mental healthPryke-Hobbes et al. (2023, PLOS ONE) — workplace masking as necessity for autistic adultsNational Autistic Society: autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/behaviour/maskingFind Not Quite TypicalInstagram: @not_quitetypicalSubstack: Not Quite TypicalA NoteI'm not a doctor, therapist, or researcher. Everything I share comes from my own lived experience as a late-discovered autistic and ADHD woman. If anything in this episode resonates and you want to explore further, please do and be gentle with yourself while you do it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ambernapthine.substack.com

In this episode I’m talking about something that affects so many AuDHD and autistic people: the exhausting relationship with time, uncertainty, and energy. I get into intolerance of uncertainty, anticipatory stress, demand avoidance, and autistic burnout and what they actually mean, how they’ve shown up in my own life, and what’s slowly helped.This one’s for anyone who’s ever cancelled something they were looking forward to, or spent three days dreading a dinner they actually enjoyed. You’re not dramatic. Your nervous system is just doing its job.Chapters00:00 Intro01:58 Understanding Burnout and Its Effects02:53 Living in the Present: The Struggle with Planning07:09 The Spiral of Anticipatory Stress12:35 Demand Avoidance and Its Impact16:57 Personal Experiences with Energy Management20:43 Understanding Autistic Burnout24:04 Coping Strategies for Managing Anxiety32:05 The Importance of Data and Evidence33:51 The Power of Saying No37:31 Conclusion: Embracing Kindness and UnderstandingResearch & links:Intolerance of uncertainty & anxiety in autistic people* Frontiers in Psychology — Sensory sensitivity and intolerance of uncertainty influencing anxiety in autistic adults: https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.731753/full* Systematic review & meta-analysis on IU and anxiety in autistic people: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7539603/* Sensory Sensitivity and Intolerance of Uncertainty Influence Anxiety in Autistic Adults: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8635111/* Autistic Sensory Traits and Psychological Distress — Mediating Role of Worry and Intolerance of Uncertainty: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39595851/Time perception in autism* Time perception and autistic spectrum condition: A systematic review: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6852160/* How autism influences time perception (accessible overview): https://www.newpatternsaba.com/blog/how-autism-influences-time-perceptionDemand avoidance* Understanding pathological demand avoidance in adults: https://pasadenavilla.com/resources/blog/understanding-pathological-demand-avoidance-in-adults-with-autism/* Living with PDA — strategies for adults: https://rachellebloksberg.com/living-with-pathological-demand-avoidance-strategies-for-dealing-with-pda-in-adults-for-autism-and* PDA in adults — how to get unstuck: https://www.thriveautismcoaching.com/post/pathological-demand-avoidance-in-adults-how-to-help-them-get-unstuckBurnout & IU as a coping mechanism* IU as a mechanism in autistic anxiety: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5903967/* Single-case treatment study for IU in autistic adults: