Old Harrieds: Two Married Dorks Talk Various Movies

There's something out there, and now it's in here, too. An absolute classic for every reason.

Apparently, this one split the fans a bit. We're on the side of digging it.

A soft reboot that does it right. Mancini goes back to just horror and makes sure to remind us that Charles Lee Ray is the worst guy you know, doll body or not.

Who needs proper puppetry and animatronics when you can have cheap CGI?? Gayle and Sean split on Billy Boyd playing a Dickensian urchin and the whole event is so wonderfully stupid.

Chucky veers into horror comedy with a miscast John Ritter, an absolute void in the two young leads, and Jennifer Tilly showing up to steal the show as the movie gods intended.

Respect to McKenna Grace getting a producer credit. May as well get paid while we roll our eyes so hard they get stuck.

McKenna Grace and Rob Lowe know what they're doing in this update. We have a very good time.

Oh, look, a whole lot of lessons in being careful when you decide how to update a classic. Couple of quick rules: 1) Get a kid who knows how to act using her face and 2) don't make any of the choices that led to David Carradine playing the whole thing the way he did. In short: Oof.

It's the original creepy child movie! A seemingly perfect girl from a seemingly perfect family is--shocking twist--a murderous little weirdo.

We loved it so much we bumped whatever the previous #3 for this theme was going to be (we can't remember; no glowing green liquids were involved) to watch it a second time so we could make it an episode. Absolutely top-notch work on every level.FYI: We explain at the end of the episode that we'll be off until the first of the year due to life stuff (all good things) but putting it here too, just to get the word out if you read these descriptions.

Low-rise jeans, a full-on emo kid, an indie band that actually sounds like a 2009 indie band (that song sticks in your head), and Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried as best frenemies. A feminist horror movie that deserves its due.

We sit down with this horror classic to start off a three-parter on feminist horror. This one holds up.

[Will Poulter meme face]: You guys are getting indoctrinated??Look, we know it's good. You know it's good. Let's dig into all the ways that it's good.

Did you know there was an intentional sequel to the original Wicker Man? We were surprised, too . But it's pretty interesting! There is some truly wild CGI, though. Just prepare yourself.

Neil LaBute, please go to therapy. And then apologize for giving Nicolas Cage whatever direction you did that made him boring. How did you do that?It's not good, folks, but you knew that.

The movie that birthed folk horror as we know it, which is interesting considering virginity plays a major role in the story. Immaculate horror conception, perhaps? Whatever you want to call it, it's odd and interesting and Christopher Lee is amazing.

Who would have thought the evil doll horror movie was going to tackle grief and loss on top of updating the evil doll mythos into a particularly creepy Furby? As big fans of evil doll horror, we love this for that and for being a great PG-13 movie to terrify everyone at the sleepover.

To quote the great Tony Randall in this wacky little film: "That wasn't civilized, but it was fun." Everyone is clearly having a great time, and so did we.

They're just little guys. Who sometimes wanna eat your face. The right sort of jump scares and practical effects to get your weird kid into horror young.

There is no half-assing like half-assing because you were threatened into writing a new book so you wouldn't lose the rights to your characters. Also, prepare yourself for more than one rant on how World War 2 is portrayed because Gayle is basically your uncle at the bookstore.

A slew of very talented actors get cast in the high school theater version of Manhunter.

Hannibal goes from an erudite and intriguing serial killer to a guy who has probably sniffed Clarice's shoes and told her. And Clarice goes from a competent and dedicated professional to someone who almost had an affair with a guy you want to punch in the face. It's not good.

Are we going to say anything you haven't already heard about this movie? No clue. But are we going to be clearly excited to talk about one of the greatest movies ever made? Oh, yes.

If you don't have this one on DVD, pony up for the Amazon rental and prepare for a great fucking movie with a weak fucking transfer (You can see everything, but it ain't hi-res).

It's...oh boy, just buckle in.

Not sure if it's the first movie based on an unsolved murder spree, but if you want to see the DNA of a lot of murder movies since, it starts in Texarkana.

1980s Hollywood: Sleazy and greasy and terrible. We loved it.

Ti West said, "Hey, what if I casually create a new franchise because lockdown was boring?" And Mia Goth went, "I'm in!" and so we have a truly interesting and terrifying backstory of that horrible old lady in X.

The horror movie that taught us that doing drugs and having sex makes you awesome. There's also fascinating themes and many subversions to expectations. It rules.

Let's just get this over with.

Second verse, close to the first, a little bit louder and a lot more terrifying special effects because Guillermo del Toro got to party. Hope you like face huggers!

Do you love late '90s club music, awesome fight sequences, and blood everywhere? We do! And Blade delivers. It's a lot of gross fun.

It's the best horror film we all missed in 2020. Missing teenagers, a former cop whose life seems out of place, and oh yeah, there's a cult.

In this movie, Slender Man makes a video call in the middle of the woods and has perfect signal, proving he's terrifying. The rest of the movie also happens.

You have to listen to this episode. We watched this movie a second time to record this episode.

Were YOU traumatized by a giant doll as a small child? Well, then you could be entitled to compensation! Or you could just listen to our episode on the first three Chucky movies and enjoy the chaser of where the hell we were in 2022 (it was a wild time).

Oh, hi! We were trapped in a basement by a demonic broom for a year, but then the Warrens showed up and got us out. We figured we'd watch those movies about them and have some thoughts.

Oh, gratuitous nudity, we knew you'd show up in a 1980s slumber party murder fest. What we weren't counting on was a pretty damn good story with a lot of fun characters, and then the sequel gets WILD (and full of some very good music) and then the end of the trilogy is...well, it's something.  Also, lots of queer subtext. LOTS.

Giant hook murders get derailed by some super questionable story telling (and that's just the FIRST movie). Excellent Web 1.0 websites, however. And Gayle screams because she didn't recognize an actor she really likes from a period piece.

It's pronounced WEE-JAH.  We sit down to experience the horror of this 1980s sub-classic that deserves classic status for the final shots alone.

It's all fun and games until you get dream-stabbed several times. Or are an allegory for being gay and scared in the 1980s and everyone thinks you're the worst sequel.

Let's talk about the Blair Witch. Who might exist. Maybe? Or maybe not. But maybe.

We chat our way through the first three Texas Chainsaw movies! Hope you're hungry!