Oliver! (OLC1960)

COMPANY Food, glorious food! Hot sausage and mustard! While we're in the mood Cold jelly and custard! Pease pudding and saveloys "What next?" is the question Rich gentlemen have it boys Indigestion! Consider yourself at home Consider yourself one of the family We've taken to you so strong. It's clear we're going to get along. Consider yourself well in Consider yourself part of the furniture There isn't a lot to spare Who cares what ever we've got we share If it should chance to be we should see some harder days Empty larder days. Why grouse? Always a chance we1ll meet somebody to foot the bill Then the drinks are on the house. Consider yourself our mate We don't want to have no fuss. For after some consideration we can state Consider yourself one of us! I'd do anything For you, dear, anything For you mean ev'rything to me. I know that I'd go anywhere For your smile, anywhere For your smile ev'rywhere I'd see. Let the clouds of grey come along Never mind if they come along Surely they won't stay very long If you'll only say You're mine alone. I'd risk ev'rything For this bliss ev'rything Yes I'd do anything, anything for you!

FAGIN A man's got a heart, hasn't he? Joking apart -- hasn't he? And tho' I'd be the first one to say that I wasn't a saint... I'm finding it hard to be really as black as they paint... I'm reviewing the situation Can a fellow be a villain all his life? All the trials and tribulations! Better settle down and get myself a wife. And a wife would cook and sew for me, And come for me, and go for me, The fingers, she will wag at me. The money whe will take me. A misery, she'll make from me... ...I think I'd better thing it out again! A wife you can keep, anyway I'd rather sleep, anyway. Left without anyone in the world, And I'm starting from now So "how to win friends and to influence people" --So how? I'm reviewing the situation, I must quickly look up ev'ryone I know. Titled people -- with a station -- Who can help me make a real impressive show! I will own a suite at Claridges, And run a fleet of carriages, And wave at all the duchesses With friendliness, as much as is Befitting of my new estate... "Good morrow to you, magistrate!" Oh gawd! ...I think I'd better think it out again. So where shall I go -- somebody? Who do I know? Nobody! All my dearest companions Have always been villains and thieves... So at my time of life I should start turning over new leaves...? I'm reviewing the situation. If you want to eat -- you've got to earn a bob! Is it such a humiliation For a robber to perform an honest job? So a job I'm getting, possibly, I wonder who my boss'll be? I wonder if he'll take to me...? What bonuses he'l make to me...? I'll start at eight and finish late, At normal rate, and all..but wait! ...I think I'd better think it out again. What happens when I'm seventy? Must come a time...seventy. When you're old, and it's cold And who cares if you live or you die, Your one consolation's the money You may have put by... I'm reviewing the situation. I'm a bad 'un and a bad 'un I shall stay! You'll be seeing no transformation, But it's wrong to be a rogue in ev'ry way. I don't want nobody hurt for me, Or made to do the dirt for me. This rotten life is not for me. It's getting far too hot for me. Don't want no one to rob for me. But who will find a job for me, There is no in between for me But who will change the scene for me? ...I think I'd better think it out again! Hey!

ROSE SELLER Who will buy my sweet red roses? Two blooms for a penny. Who will buy my sweet red roses? Two blooms for a penny. MILKMAID Will you buy any milk today, mistress? Any milk today, mistress? ROSE SELLER Who will buy my sweet red roses? MILKMAID Any milk today, mistress? ROSE SELLER Two blooms for a penny. STRAWBERRY SELLER Ripe strawberries, ripe! Ripe strawberries, ripe! STRAWBERRY SELLER Ripe strawberries, ripe! MILKMAID Any milk today, mistress? ROSE SELLER Who will buy my sweet red roses? KNIFE GRINDER Knives, knives to grind! Any knives to grind? Knives, knives to grind! Any knives to grind? Who will buy? STRAWBERRY SELLER Who will buy? MILKMAID Who will buy? ROSE SELLER Who will buy? OLIVER Who will buy This wonderful morning? Such a sky You never did see! ROSE SELLER Who will buy my sweet red roses? OLIVER Who will tie It up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me? STRAWBERRY SELLER Ripe strawberries, ripe! OLIVER So I could see it at my leisure Whenever things go wrong And I would keep it as a treasure To last my whole life long. MILKMAID Any milk today? OLIVER Who will buy This wonderful feeling? I'm so high I swear I could fly. KNIFE GRINDER Knives! Knives to grind! STRAWBERRY SELLER Ripe strawberries, ripe! OLIVER Me, oh my! I don't want to lose it So what am I to do To keep the sky so blue? There must be someone who will buy... LONG SONG SELLER Who will buy? KNIFE GRINDER Who will buy? MILKMAID Who will buy? ROSE SELLER Who will buy? COMPANY AND OLIVER Who will buy This wonderful morning? Such a sky You never did see! Who will tie It up with a ribbon And put it in a box for me? There'll never be a day so sunny, It could not happen twice. Where is the man with all the money? It's cheap at half the price! Who will buy Who will buy This wonderful feeling? I'm so high I swear I could fly. Me, oh my! I don't want to lose it So what am I to do To keep the sky so blue? OLIVER There must be someone who will buy... MILKMAID Must be someone STRAWBERRY SELLER Must be someone KNIFE GRINDER Must be someone ALL Who will ... buy?

NANCY As long as he needs me... Oh, yes, he does need me... In spite of what you see... ...I'm sure that he needs me. Who else would love him still When they've been used so ill? He knows I always will... As long as he needs me. I miss him so much when he is gone, But when he's near me I don't let on... ...The way I feel inside. The love, I have to hide... The hell! I've gone my pride As long as he needs me. He doesn't say the things he should. He acts the way he thinks he should. But all the same, I'll play This game His way. As long as he needs me... I know where I must be. I'll cling on steadfastly... As long as he needs me. As long as life is long... I'll love him right or wrong, And somehow, I'll be strong... As long as he needs me. If you are lonely Then you will know... When someone needs you, You love them so. I won't betray his trust... Though people say I must. I've got to stay true, just As long as he needs me.

SIKES Strong men tremble when they hear it! They've got cause enough to fear it! It's much blacker than they smear it! Nobody mentions... My name! Rich men hold their five-pound notes out -- Saves me emptying their couats out. They know I could tear their throats out Just to live up to... My name! Wiv me Jemmy in me hand, Lemme see the man who dares Stop me. Taking what I may He can start to say his prayers! Biceps like an iron girder, Fit for doing of a murder, If I just so much as heard a Bloke even whisper... (spoken) My name! Bill Sikes... (sung) Some Toff, slumming wiv his valet, Bumped into me in the alley Now is eyes'll never tally He'd never heard of ... My name! One bloke Used to boast the claim He could take my name in vain... Poor bloke... Shame 'e was so green Never was 'e seen again! Once bad -- What's the good of turning? In hell, I'll be there-a-burning Meanwhile, thing of what I'm earning All on account of... My name! What is it? What is it? What is it?

CHAIRMAN (spoken) Ladies and gentlemen, brethren and sinners all! I call upon our Goddess of the Virtues to give us her well known rendition of the old school song -- Oom-Pah-Pah! NANCY (spoken) All right, shut up, you lot! A bit of culture now! 'Ere we go... (sung) There's a little ditty They're singing in the city Espeshly when they've been On the gin Or the beer If you've got the patience, Your own imaginations Will tell you just exactly what you want to hear... ALL Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! That's how it goes, Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows. NANCY They all suppose what they want to suppose When they hear...oom-pah-pah!! Mister Percy Snodgrass Would often have the odd glass -- But never when he thought anybody could see. Secretly he'd buy it, And drink it on the quiet, And dream he was an Earl Wiv a girl on each knee! CUSTOMERS AND NANCY Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! That's how it goes. Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows... NANCY What is the cause of his red shiny nose? Could it be...oom-pah-pah!? Pretty little Sally Goes walking down the alley, Displays her pretty ankles to all of the men. They could see her garters, But not for free-and-gratis-- An inch or two, and then she knows When to say when! ALL Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! That's how it goes. Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows... NANCY Whether it's hidden, or whether it shows -- It's the same...oom-pah-pah! She was from the country, But now she's up a gum-tree -- She let a feller feed 'er, then lead 'er along What's the good o' cryin'? She's made a bed to lie in She's glad to bring the coin in, And join in this song! ALL Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! That's how it goes! Oom-pah-pah!Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows. NANCY She is no longer the same blushing rose Ever since ... oom-pah-pah! ALL Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! That's how it goes, Oom-pah-pah! Oom-pah-pah! Ev'ryone knows. NANCY They all suppose what they want to suppose When they hear...oom-pah-pah!! ALL Oom-pah-pah!

[FAGIN] You can go, But be back soon You can go, But while you're working. This place, I'm pacing round... Until you're home, ...Safe and sound Fare thee well, But be back soon Who can tell Where danger's lurking? Do not forget this tune Be back soon. [BOYS] How could we forget How could we let Our dear old Fagin worry? We love him so. We'll come back home In, oh, such a great big Hurry [DODGER] It's him that pays the piper. [BOYS] It's us that pipes his tune So long, fare thee well Pip! Pip! Cheerio! We'll be back soon. [FAGIN] You can go But be back soon You can go, But bring back plenty Of pocket hankerchiefs And you should be clever thieves. Whip it quick, and be back soon There's a sixpence here for twenty Ain't that a lovely tune? Be back soon. [DODGER] Our pockets'll hold A watch of gold That chimes upon the hour [BOYS] A wallet fat An old man's hat [DODGER] The crown jewels from the tower We know The Bow Street Runners, [ALL] But they don't know this tune. So long, fare thee well. Pip! Pip! Cheerio! We'll be back soon. [FAGIN] Cheerio, but be back soon. I dunno, somehow I'll miss you I love you, that why I Say, "Cheerio"... Not goodbye. Don't be gone long Be back soon. Give me one long, Last look... Bless you. Remember our old tune... Be back soon! [BOYS] We must disappear, We'll be back here, Today... ...Perhaps tomorrow. We'll miss you too [FAGIN] It's sad but true That parting is such sweet sorrow. [ALL] And when we're in the distance You'll hear this Whipered tune... So long, fare thee well Pip! Pip! Cheerio! We'll be back soon And when we're in the distance You'll hear this Whipered tune... So long, fare thee well Pip! Pip! Cheerio! We'll be back soon [FAGIN] Cheerio, but be back soon. I dunno, somehow I'll miss you I love you, that why I Say, "Cheerio"... Not goodbye. Don't be gone long Be back soon. Give me one long, Last look... Bless you. Remember our old tune... Be back soon! [BOYS] We must disappear, We'll be back here, Today... ...Perhaps tomorrow. We'll miss you too It's sad but true That parting is such sweet sorrow. And when we're in the distance You'll hear this Whipered tune... So long, fare thee well Pip! Pip! Cheerio! We'll be back soon You'll hear this Whipered tune... So long, fare thee well Pip! Pip! Cheerio! We'll be back soon And when we're in the distance You'll hear this Whipered tune... So long, fare thee well Pip! Pip! Cheerio! We'll be back soon [OLIVER] So long, fare thee well Pip! Pip! Cheerio! We'll be back soon [BOYS] So long, fare thee well Pip! Pip! Cheerio! We'll be back soon

[NANCY (spoken)] So, 'ow's it go then Dodger? It's all "bowin'" and "'ats off"... [DODGER (spoken)] And "Don't let your petticoats go dangling in the mud, my darling." [NANCY (spoken)] Oh, "And I'll go last." [DODGER (spoken)] No, I'll go last. [NANCY (spoken)] If you insist. [DODGER (sung)] I'll do anything For you dear anything For you mean everything to me. I know that I'll go anywhere For your smile, anywhere -- For your smile, ev'rywhere -- I'd see. [NANCY] Would you climb a hill? [DODGER] Anything! [NANCY] Wear a daffodil? [DODGER] Anything! [NANCY] Leave me all your will? [DODGER] Anything! [NANCY] Even fight my Bill? [DODGER] What? Fisticuffs? I'd risk everything For one kiss -- everything Yes, I'd do anything... [NANCY] Anything?! [DODGER] Anything for you!! [NANCY (spoken)] 'Ere now, Oliver, you just copy Dodger and I'll help you out with the words, alright? So it's "I'll do anything" [OLIVER (sung)] I'll do anything [NANCY (spoken)] For you dear [OLIVER (sung)] For you dear, anything [NANCY (spoken)] For you mean [OLIVER (sung)] For you mean everything to me [NANCY (spoken)] Ah, that's lovely. [OLIVER] I know that I'd go anywhere For your smile, anywhere -- For your smile, everywhere I'd see [BET] Would you lace my shoe? [OLIVER] Anything! [BET] Paint your face bright blue? [OLIVER] Anything! [BET] Catch a kangaroo? [OLIVER] Anything! [BET] Go to Timbuktu? [OLIVER] And back again! I'd risk ev'rything For one kiss -- everything -- Yes, I'd do anything [BET] Anything?! [OLIVER] Anything for you!! [DODGER (spoken)] Dance, Nancy. [NANCY (spoken)] Oh, alright, Dodge. C'mon boys! 1-2-3... [FAGIN] Would you rob a shop? [ALL] Anything! [FAGIN] Would you risk the "drop"? [ALL] Anything! [FAGIN] Tho' your eyes go, 'pop' [ALL] Anything! [FAGIN] When you come down 'plop' [ALL] Hang ev'rything! We'd risk life and limb To keep you in the swim Yes, we'd do anything... [FAGIN] Anything?! [ALL] Anything for you.

NANCY Small pleasures, small pleasures Who would deny us these? Gin toddies -- large measuress -- No skimpin' if you please! I rough it, I love it Life is a game of chance. I never tire of it -- Leading this merry dance. If you don't mind having to go without things It's a fine life. [ALL] It's a fine life. [NANCY] Tho' it ain't all jolly old pleasure outings... It's a fine life [ALL] It's a fine life. [NANCY] When you got someone to love You forget your cares and strife Let the prudes look down on us Let the wide world frown on us It's a fine, [ALL] Fine life! [NANCY (spoken)] Ain't that right, Bet? Go on, you tell 'em girl. [BET] Who cares if straightlaces Sneer at us in the street? Fine airs and fine graces [NANCY] Don't have to sin to eat. [BOTH] We wander through London [NANCY] Who knows what we many find? [BOTH] There's pockets left undone On many a behind. [NANCY] If you don't mind taking it as it turns out, It's a fine life! [ALL] It's a fine life! [NANCY] Keep the candle burning until it burns out It's a fine life. [ALL] It's a fine life. [NANCY] Though you sometimes do come by The occasional black eye You can always cover one 'Til he blacks the other one But you don't dare cry. [BET] No flounces, no feathers No frills and furbelows All winds and all weathers Ain't good for fancy clo'es [NANCY (spoken)] That's true. [sung] These trappings, [BET] These ta'ers [BOTH] These we can just afford. [NANCY] What future? [BET] What ma'ers? [BOTH] We've got our bed and board. [NANCY] If you don't mind having to deal with Fagin It's a fine life! [ALL] It's a fine life! [NANCY] Though diseased rats threaten to bring the plague in It's a fine life! [ALL] It's a fine life! [NANCY] But the grass is green and dense On the right side of the 'fence'. [BOTH] And we take good care of it That we get our share of it And we don't mean pence. No! If you don't mind having to like or lump it... It's a fine life [ALL] It's a fine life! [NANCY] Tho' there's no tea-supping and eating crumpet It's a fine life! [ALL] It's a fine life! [NANCY] Not for me, the happy home Happy husband, happy wife Tho' it sometimes touches me... ...For the likes of such as me... Mine's a fine... [ALL] Fine... life!

[FAGIN (spoken)] You see, Oliver... [sung] In this life, one thing counts In the bank, large amounts I'm afraid these don't grow on trees, You've got to pick-a-pocket or two You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys, You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. [BOYS] Large amounts don't grow on trees. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN (spoken)] Let's show Oliver how it's done, shall we, my dears? [sung] Why should we break our backs Stupidly paying tax? Better get some untaxed income Better to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. [BOYS] Why should we all break our backs? Better pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN (spoken)] Who says crime doesn't pay? [sung] Robin Hood, what a crook! Gave away, what he took. Charity's fine, subscribe to mine. Get out and pick-a-pocket or two You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. [BOYS] Robin Hood was far too good He had to pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN] Take a tip from Bill Sikes He can whip what he likes. I recall, he started small He had to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. [BOYS] We can be like old Bill Sikes If we pick-a-pocket or two. [FAGIN] When I see someone rich, Both my thumbs start to itch Only to find some peace of mind We have to pick-a-pocket or two. You've got to pick-a-pocket or two, boys You've got to pick-a-pocket or two. [BOYS] Just to find some peace of mind [FAGIN AND BOYS] We have to pick-a-pocket or two!

[DODGER] Consider yourself at home. Consider yourlef one of the familhy. We've taken to you so strong. It's clear we're going to get along. Consider yourself well in Consider yourslef par to the furniture. There isn't a lot to spare. Who cares?..What ever we've goin we share! If it should chance to be We should see Some harder days Empty larder days Why grouse? Alsyas a-chance we'll meet Somebody To foot the bill Then the drinks are on the house! Consider yourself our mate. We do't want to have no fuss, For after some consideration, we can state... Consider yourself One of us! Consider yourself... [OLIVER] At home? [DODGER] Consider yourself... [OLIVER] One of the family [CAPTAIN] We've taken to you [OLIVER] So strong [HAND WALKER] It's clear...we're... [ALL] Going to get along [DODGER] Consider yourself... [CHARLIE BATES] Well in! [DODGER] Consider yourself... [SNAKE] Part of the furniture [OLIVER] There isn't a lot to spare [ALL] Who cares? Whatever we got we share [DODGER] Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity-- There a cup-o'-tea for all. [ALL] Only it's wise to be handy wiv a rolling pin Whne the landlord omes to call! [DODGER] Consider yourself Our mate. We don't want to have no fuss [ALL] For after some consideration we can sate [OLIVER] Considter yourself [DODGER] Yes! [ALL] One of us! [COMPANY] Consider yourself at home... We've taken to you so strong. Consider yourself well in... There isn't a lot to spare If it should chance to be We should see Some harder days Empty larder days -- Why grouse? Always a chane we'll meet Somebody To food the bill -- Then the drinks are on the house! Consider yourself our mate. We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration, we can state... Consider yourself... One of us! [DODGER] Consider yourself [ALL] At home. [DODGER] We've taken to you [ALL] So strong [DODGER] Consider yourself [ALL] Well in. There isn't a lot to spare. Nobody tries to be lah-di-dah or uppity. There's a cup-o'-tea for all Only it's wise to be handy wiv a rolling pin Wen the landlord comes to call Consider yourself our mate We don't want to have no fuss For after some consideration we can state Consider yourself One of us... For after some consideration we can state Consider yourself... One of us! If it should chance to be We should see some harder days, Empyt larder days, Why grouse? Always a chance we'll meet Somebody to foot the bill. Then the drinks are on the house. Consider yourself at home. Consider yourself one of the family. We've taken to you so strong. It's clear we're going to get along. Consider yourself well in. Consider yourself part of the furniture. There isn't a lot to spare. Who cares? Whatever we've got we share. If it should chance to be We should see some harder days, Empty larder days, Why grouse? Always a chance we'll meet Somebody to foot the bill. Then the drinks are on the house. Consider yourself our mate. We don't want to have no fuss For after some considertaion we can state Consider yourself... One of us!!

[OLIVER] Where is love? Does it fall from skies above? Is it underneat the willow tree That I've been dream of? Where is she? Who I close my eyes to see? Will I ever know the sweet "hello" That's only meant for me? Who can say where she may hide? Must I travel far and wide? 'Til I am bedside the someone who I can mean somethin to ... Where...? Where is love? Who can say where...she may hide? Must I travel...far and wide? 'Til I am beside...the someone who I can mean...something to... Where? Where is love?

MR. BUMBLE (spoken)] Liberal terms, Mr. Sowerberry...Liberal terms? Three pounds! [SOWERBERRY (spoken)] Well, as a matter of fact, I was needing a boy.... [MR. BUMBLE] He's a born undertaker's mute. I can see him in his black silk suit. Following behind the funeral procession... With his features fixed in a suitable expression. There'll be horses with tall balck plumes To escort us to the family tombs, With mourners In all corners Who've been taught to week in tune. Then the coffin lined with satin. That's your funeral. [MRS. SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [SOWERBERRY] Large enough to wear your hat in. That's your funearl. [MRS. SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [SOWERBERRY] We're just here to glamourize you for that Endless sleep. [MRS. SOWERBERRY AND SOWERBERRY] You might just as well look fetching When you're six feet deep. [MRS. SOWERBERRY] At the wake we'll drink a toddy To the body beautiful. [MR. SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [MRS. SOWERBERRY] Not our funeral. [BOTH] That's your funeral. [SOWERBERRY] If you're fond of overeating That's your funeral. [MRS. SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [SOWERBERRY] Starve yourself by undereating That's your funeral. [THE FUNERAL PROCESSION] That's your funeral? [MRS. SOWERBERRY] Visualize the earth descentind on you clod by clod. You can't come back when you're buried Underneath the ...sod. [MRS. SOWERBERRY AND SOWERBERRY] We will not reduce our prices. Keep your vices usual. [SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [MRS. SOWERBERY] Not our funeral. [MRS. SOWERBERRY] Not our funeral. [ALL] That's your funeral. [MR. BUMBLE] I don't think this song is funny. [SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [MR. BUMBLE] Here's the boy, now where's the money? [SOWERBERRY] That's your funeral. [MR. BUMBLE] That's your funeral. [SOWERBERRY] We don't harbour thoughts macabre, There's no need to frown. [MRS. SOWERBERRY AND SOWEBERRY] In the end we'll either burn you up or nail you donw. We love coughs and wheezes And diseases called incurable. That's your funeral. No one else's funearl. [SOWERBERRY] That's your... [MRS. SOWEBERRY] That's your... [BOTH] Funeral!

[MR. BUMBLE] One boy, Boy for sale. He's going cheap. Only seven guineas. That -- or thereabouts. Small boy... Rather pale... From lack of sleep. Feed him gruel dinners. Stop him getting stout. If I should say he wasn't very greedy... I could not, I'd be telling you a tale. One boy, Boy for sale. Come take a peep. Have you ever seen as Nice A boy For sale

[MR. BUMBLE] No you wouldn't, heigh ho. If I wanted something special, Then you couldn't say "no". Did I nearly catch you smiling? Yes I did. And it's beguiling. If you hand is close, I'll press it. Yes, you like it -- come confess it! Yes, you do... [WIDOW CORNEY] No, I don't. [MR. BUBLE] Yes, you do! [WIDOW CORNEY] I shall scream! I shall scream! 'Til they hasten to my rescue, I shall scream. [MR. BUMBLE] Since there's nobody that's near us Who cold see us. or could hear us? If you ask you can I kiss you Say what will my pretty miss do? [WIDOW CORNEY] I shall scream, scream, scream! [MR. BUMBLE] If I pinch you one pinch -- From you shy protective shell Can I un-inch you one inch? Will my blinthesome, buxum beauty Let her suitor do his duty? Tho' his lap ain't very large, dear Sit upon it -- There's no charge, dear. Will you sit? [WIDOW CORNEY] No, I shan't [MR. BUMBLE] Will you sit? [WIDOW BUMBLE] I shall scream! I shall scream! For the safety of my virtue I shall sream Tho' your knee is rather cosy, See my cheeks are getting rosy. You would have me in your power. If I sat here for an hour... [MR. BUMBLE] I shall scream, scream, scream! [WIDOW CORNEY] You're a naughty bad man. If you think I can't be proper, Prim and haughty -- I can And you'll pardon if I mention You must state your true intention. [MR. BUMBLE] Is there not another room here? [WIDOW CORNEY] No! [MR. BUMBLE] If there would be a bride and groom here --- would there be? [WIDOW CORNEY] Well there might. [MR. BUMBLE] We shall see. [WIDOW CORNEY] I shall scream! I shall scream! At the thought of what you're thinking, I shall scream! [MR. BUMBLE] You will wonder where the scream went When we ome to an agreement As my lovey-dovey is chubby Could she love a chubby hubby? [WIDOW CORNEY] I shall scream, Mr. Bumble! I shall scream, Bumble-Wumble! I shall scream, scream, scream!

[OLIVER] [spoken] Please, Sir, I want some more. [MR. BUMBLE] [spoken] What?! [OLIVER] [spoken] Please, Sir, I want some more. [MR. BUMBLE] [spoken] More!? [WIDOW CORNEY] Catch him! [MR. BUMBLE] Snatch him! [WIDOW CORNEY] Hold him! [MR. BUMBLE] Scold him! [WIDOW CORNEY] Pounce him! Trounce him! Pick him up and bounce him! [MR. BUMBLE] Wait! Before we put the lad to task May I be so crious as to ask His name? [BOYS (whispering)] O-li-ver. [WIDOW CORNEY AND MR. BUMBLE] Oliver! Oliver! [MR. BUMBLE] Never beofre has a boy wanted more! [MR. BUMBLE AND WIDOW CORNEY] Oliver! Oliver! [WIDOW CORNEY] Won't ask for more whne he knows what's in store. [MR. BUMBLE] There a dar, thin, winding stairway Witout an bannister Whil we'll throuwhim down, and feed him on Cockrouches served in a canister [ALL] Oliver! Oliver! MR. BUMBLE What will he do when he's turned black and blue? He will curse the day Somebody named him [ALL] O-li-ver! [MR. BUMBLE] Oliver! Oliver! Never before has a boy wanted more! Oliver! Oliver! [WIDOW CORNEY] Won't ask for more When he knows what's in store. [MR. BUMBLE] There's a sooty chimney Long overdue for a sweeping out Which we'll push him up, And one day next year with the rats he'll be creeping out. [ALL] Oliver! Oliver! [MR. BUMBLE] What will her do? In this terrible stew? He will rue the day somebody name him... [ALL AND WIDOW CORNEY] O-li-ver!

BOYS Is it worth the waiting for? If we live 'til eighty four All we ever get is gru...el! Ev'ery day we say our prayer -- Will they change the bill of fare? Still we get the same old gru...el! There is not a cust, not a crumb can we find, Can we beg, can we borrow, or cadge, But there's nothing to stop us from getting a thrill When we all close our eyes and imag...ine Food, glorious food! Hot sausage and mustard! While we're in the mood -- Cold jelly and custard! Pease pudding and saveloys! What next is the question? Rich gentlemen have it, boys -- In-di-gestion! Food, glorious food! We're anxious to try it. Three banquets a day -- Our favourite diet! Just picture a great big steak -- Fried, roasted or stewed. Oh, food, Wonderful food, Marvellous food, Glorous food. Food, glorious food! What is ther emore handsome? Gulped, swallowed or chewed -- Still worth a kin's ransom. What is it we dream about? What brings on a sigh? Piled pieahes and cream , about Six feet high! Food, glorious food! Eat right through the menu. Just loosen your belt Two inches and then you Work up a new appetite. In this interlude -- The food, Once again, food Fabulous food, Glorious food. Food, glorious food! Don't care what it looks like -- Burned! Underdone! Crude! Don't care what the cook's like. Just thinking of growing fat -- Our senses go reeling One moment of knowing that Full-up feeling! Food, glorious food! What wouldn't we give for That extra bit more -- That's all that we live for Why should we be fated to Do nothing but brood On food, Magical food, Wonderful food, Marvellous food, Fabulous food, OLIVER Beautiful food, BOYS Glorious food