Patty's Place

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Alzheimer’s doesn’t just change memory. It can change time, language, confidence, and the simple feeling of being anchored in the world. We talk with Sam Simon, author of *Dementia Man: An Existential Journey*, and his wife Susan about what it really means to keep choosing life after an Alzheimer’s diagnosis and how to push back on the damaging belief that a life with cognitive disease isn’t worth living.Sam shares the moments that scared him most, including what he calls the “nothingness place,” when he feels like he drops out of the world while searching for a word or thought. We also unpack why getting an accurate dementia diagnosis can take years, how symptoms get brushed off as “normal aging,” and the small practical systems that reduce daily chaos at home. Susan adds the caregiver perspective, including what it takes to support independence while keeping life steady and safe.From there we widen the lens to advocacy and accessibility. If ramps and braille are standard ADA accommodations, why do airports, grocery stores, and other public spaces offer so little support for cognitive disability? We dig into dementia-friendly design, the sunflower lanyard used for hidden disabilities, and the idea of a “cognitive navigator” who can help without taking away dignity. We also share communication tools like improv-style “Yes, And,” plus the hard truth of anticipatory grief when someone is still here, yet changing.If you find this helpful, subscribe, share the episode with a friend who needs it, and leave us a review so more caregivers and families can find Patty’s Place.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Dementia doesn’t just change memory, it changes the rules of the relationship. When a person still looks like the mom, dad, or spouse you’ve always known, it’s easy to assume they’re choosing to be difficult, hiding things, or “not trying.” That misunderstanding can turn caregiving into a daily argument and it burns families out fast. We’re joined by Amy Shaw, founder of BetterDementia.com and a dementia clinician, educator, and author, to unpack a brain-based way to make sense of what’s happening. We talk about why many people living with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias truly cannot see their own decline, how to translate confusing behaviors back to brain function, and why the typical “mild, moderate, severe” labels often don’t help when you’re the one managing finances, meds, safety, and day-to-day care. We also get honest about the caregiver experience: anticipatory grief, guilt, resentment, burnout, and even anticipatory relief. Amy shares practical dementia communication strategies that protect dignity, plus ways to simplify visits and social situations so your loved one can still feel capable and in control. We close with planning tips for memory care transitions, palliative care, and hospice so families can make hard decisions outside a crisis. Better Dementia | Support for Dementia Caregivers — Families and ProfessionalsIf this helped you feel less alone, subscribe, share this with a caregiver friend, and leave a review so more families can find Patty’s Place.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Grief doesn’t just break hearts, it also exposes the parts of us that are strongest, rawest, and most alive. Lisa sits down with best-selling author, speaker, and grief coach Marie Alesi to talk about what happens when the worst phone call becomes real: Marie’s husband Rob leaves for a business trip and never comes home, passing from a brain aneurysm and leaving her to parent two young boys through shock, sorrow, and sudden change.Marie shares the moment she finally falls apart after holding it together for the funeral and a major family milestone, and how that collapse leads her to an unexpected word for grief: empowerment. We talk about choosing love over fear, letting emotions move through the body, and why “doing it right” in grief is often just noise from the outside world. Marie also explains her “happiness filter” for decision-making and how creating new memories, including travel, gave their family space to breathe when home felt heavy with absence.The conversation expands into what a true Celebration of Life can look like when it’s built on stories, laughter, music, and language that fits the person, not a template. Marie breaks down the services she offers through mariealesi.com, including ceremonies, one-on-one grief coaching, family bereavement sessions, and a grief literacy workshop designed for schools and teachers. If you’ve ever felt alone in grief, supported a grieving child, or wondered how to honor someone without being swallowed by sadness, you’ll find practical guidance and real-world hope here.Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a softer landing, and leave a review with one takeaway you’re trying this week.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Grief can make you feel like you’re failing at something you never asked to do. Today we sit down with Jane K. Dye, RN, holistic health coach, and certified grief educator trained in David Kessler’s approach, to talk plainly about what helps after loss and what quietly makes it harder. Jane shares how the death of her son Christopher pushed her to serve people living in a grief-illiterate culture that avoids discomfort, rushes timelines, and rewards “looking okay” instead of being real. We dig into the difference between grief (the internal experience) and mourning (the outward expression), why there is no cure for grief, and why comparing losses is a dead end. You’ll hear practical language for supporting a grieving friend without trying to fix them, plus the phrases many people mean well by but often regret later. We also talk about grief bursts, memory triggers, and how comfort can come from unexpected rituals like a favorite candy, an old TV show, or a familiar recipe. Because grief lives in the body, we explore simple holistic grief support tools: hydration, gentle nourishment, walking, stretching, meditation, and grief yoga as ways to move emotion through your system when words fall short. Jane also explains how her counseling and grief education work, including a free initial consultation and personalized resources based on readiness. Subscribe for more conversations about grief, dementia, and caregiving, then share this episode with someone who needs it and leave a review with the one thing you wish people understood about grief.https://janekdye.com/Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.The hardest part of grief often shows up after everyone else goes home. The service is over, the texts slow down, and you’re left holding silence, memories, and a thousand details you never asked to manage. We wanted to talk about what actually helps in that stretch, so we invited Christa McDonald, a hospice nurse with more than 20 years of end-of-life care experience, to share what she’s seen in countless homes and what she learned the hard way in her own losses.We get honest about dementia caregiving, why presence matters when words fade, and the belief that hearing is one of the last senses to go. Christa explains why you should keep talking, keep playing the music, and keep saying what you need to say, even when someone looks unreachable. We also dig into the complicated question so many families carry: why do some people seem to choose their moment to die, like waiting until a loved one falls asleep? Her perspective is comforting and practical, especially if you’re wrestling with guilt.From there we explore end-of-life visions, “signs after death,” and the idea of continuing bonds, plus the reality that grief can take a minimum of a year and can impact your health. Krista also shares her new project, GLAD (Grieving Loss After Death and Dying), designed to meet people where they are with a 24/7 bereavement line and online grief support classes. We close by clearing up hospice myths, what hospice really provides, and why getting help sooner can change everything for families facing dementia and terminal illness.HOME - Christa MacDonaldIf you’re navigating grief, hospice care, or dementia caregiving, subscribe to Patty’s Place, share this with someone who needs support, and leave a review so more families can find these conversations.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.The hardest grief stories aren’t always the ones we expect, sometimes they’re the ones we learn late. I’m joined by Lisa Sugarman, author, nationally syndicated columnist, crisis counselor with The Trevor Project, and a three-time survivor of suicide loss, for an honest conversation about what happens when the “official” version of a loved one’s death turns out not to be true. Lisa shares how she grew up believing her father died of a heart attack, then discovered decades later that he died by suicide, a truth that reshaped her grief, her identity, and her purpose as a mental health advocate. We dig into why telling our stories can be both cathartic and lifesaving, and why suicide loss grief often carries extra weight: the relentless why, the what if loop, guilt, and the stigma that keeps families quiet. We also talk about language and dignity, including why many advocates recommend moving away from the phrase committed suicide and choosing terms like died by suicide. Words don’t just describe what happened, they shape how survivors heal and whether people feel safe asking for help. Finally, we get practical. Lisa explains what to do if you think someone is suicidal, how to ask directly without fear, how 988 works (including third-party calls), and why crisis lines aren’t only for suicidal moments. If you’re a caregiver navigating dementia, burnout, or isolation, you’ll hear a clear message: your crisis counts, and support is allowed. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the one takeaway you want more people to understand about grief and mental health.https://www.thehelphub.co/Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.What if burnout isn’t laziness but accumulated disappointment we never named? We sit down with Dr. Angela Fassaro—emergency physician and startup founder—to unpack the quiet reality of grief at work: the missed launch, the teammate who vanished after a reorg, the promotion that didn’t land, the identity shift no one can see. Angela brings hard-won insight from high-stakes medicine and early-stage companies to show why skipping the conversation about loss stalls teams, and why clear acknowledgment becomes the fastest route back to trust and performance.We walk through a practical Healing Protocol that any leader or teammate can use without turning standups into therapy. First, acknowledge what happened and name the loss plainly. Then validate that the impact is real, even if you don’t know someone’s full story. Normalize the messiness—grief is a signal of what matters, not a weakness to hide. Finally, practice real appreciation: not cheerleading, but specific, contextual recognition that links effort to meaningful outcomes. That shift helps people feel irreplaceable in an era when AI and churn whisper the opposite.Angela also shares ER lessons that translate far beyond the hospital: control effort, not outcomes; pride in how you showed up outlasts any single result. We talk about “toxic gratitude,” why forced positivity amplifies shame, and how cultural currency shapes recognition—what feels honoring in one team can land tone-deaf in another. The throughline is simple and human: assume the person across from you might be living their worst day. Offer grace. Name the loss. See the effort.If this conversation resonates, share it with a manager, a teammate, or a friend who’s navigating change. Subscribe for more honest talks about grief, caregiving, and the work of being human—and leave a review to tell us: what loss needs naming on your team today?Join the Patty's Place Podcast Facebook GroupSupport the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.What if the family stories you love didn’t fade with time, but stayed close enough to talk to? We sit down with Reflecta AI founder Miles Spencer to explore how digital legacies become living, conversational presences—comforting a grandchild at bedtime, guiding a pie crust at Thanksgiving, and keeping a family’s wisdom from gathering dust in an attic box.Miles shares the personal spark behind Reflecta and why he calls it soul tech. We talk about designing for the emotional load of grief, bringing in experts from hospice, suicide support, the military, and spiritual care to build humane guardrails. You’ll hear how a 10-second voicemail can seed a father’s voice, how a same-sex sibling can stand in when no recordings exist, and why a reflection’s perfect memory makes scattered photos and letters feel whole again. For caregivers facing dementia, this approach can be a gentle bridge—meeting loved ones in the stories and timelines where they feel most at home.We get practical too: default-private reflections controlled by a family “keeper,” strict privacy and rights management, and pricing that scales from a single loved one to wider family or public sharing. Miles addresses common concerns head-on—from “digital necromancy” fears to data security—and explains how Reflecta monitors for unhealthy use, nudging users to take breaks when grief loops too tightly. The heart of the conversation is continuity: a library of experiences that doesn’t burn when someone passes, but remains accessible as a spontaneous, dynamic conversation.Ready to imagine your family’s legacy as more than a box of keepsakes? Listen now, then try a conversation with Arthur or Virginia at Reflekt.ai to feel how a story becomes a presence. If this resonated, subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a quick review to help others find the show.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.We break down the difference between dementia and Alzheimer’s, then walk through real signs, major types, and what caregivers can do right now. We share our family stories, the limits of diagnosis, and how to meet loved ones with calm, dignity, and practical steps.• dementia as an umbrella term and why it matters• Alzheimer’s as the most common cause of dementia• mixed dementia and overlapping symptoms• vascular dementia links to stroke and blood flow• Lewy body features including hallucinations and REM sleep issues• early red flags at home and on the road• why diagnosis is clinical and imperfect• caregiver mindset, validation, and safety planning• resources from the Alzheimer’s Association“Hopefully you find some comfort in this and knowledge because knowledge is power”Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.What happens when the person who once guided you now needs your guidance? We invited author Ingrid Hansen Pop to talk about the hidden pressures of caregiving, why smart problem‑solvers still feel stuck, and how small mindset shifts can lower stress fast. From the myth of “I must fix everything” to the hard truth that plans fall apart under medical uncertainty, we get honest about what actually helps when a parent’s health changes.We dig into sibling dynamics without sugarcoating them. Some of us rush to lead; others freeze or avoid. Instead of chasing perfect consensus, we map clear lanes—medical, financial, logistics—so responsibilities are shared and expectations are real. Ingrid offers gentle scripts for raising tough topics with parents who won’t ask for help, using specific observations and empathy rather than judgment. We also highlight the quiet tells that support is needed: spoiled food, unread mail, trouble with steps, and favorite hobbies that no longer click.Caregiving gets lighter when you build a team. Think like migrating geese: no one flies alone. We show how to recruit neighbors, church friends, and community services for rides, check‑ins, and errands, and why every caregiver needs one friend designated for venting. For holidays and milestones, we share practical tweaks—earlier start times, shorter visits, daylight driving—that honor dignity while reducing risk. Throughout, Ingrid points to resources from her book, Becoming An Orphan, and a supportive online group that helps you problem‑solve in real time.If you’re feeling the weight of reversed roles, this conversation offers clarity, language, and next steps you can use today. Listen, take what fits, and share it with someone who needs a little less guilt and a little more team. If this helped, subscribe, leave a review, and pass it on to a friend who’s navigating care right now.Go to barnesandnoble.com to purchase Becoming An Orphan, and visit becominganorphan.com for resources and our online support group.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.We sit with grief educator Lisa Wrights to explore anticipatory grief, workplace expectations, holiday triggers and the myth of a timeline. Stories from dementia caregiving ground the advice, while journaling and groups offer real relief.• why anticipatory grief wears down caregivers• why repeating stories can comfort the person with dementia• how workplaces mishandle grief and simple fixes• myths about stages, timelines and “moving on”• practical tools including journaling and support groups• planning exits and boundaries for holidays and events• differences between a grief educator and a therapist• delayed grief and how to spot it• resources, ebooks and where to find helpPurchase Lisa’s book on Amazon and Barnesandnoble.com. Visit lisaritesgrief.com for free resources, a monthly blog, a newsletter and to book a free consultationSupport the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.The first signs often feel small—too much food in the fridge, unopened bills, a story on repeat—and then the worry sets in. We invited gerontologist Janice Goldman to help us turn that worry into a plan you can actually use, from decoding what “dementia” really means to knowing when to call the doctor, how to prepare legal documents, and what to do when the family can’t agree on next steps.We start with clarity: dementia is the umbrella, Alzheimer’s is one type. Not every red flag points to Alzheimer’s, and we break down reversible causes like hearing loss, B12 deficiency, and medication issues. Janice shares a practical home checklist for spotting meaningful changes and explains how to work with physicians—using past baselines and integrated screenings—when a loved one refuses formal memory tests or denies there’s a problem. We dig into power of attorney essentials, including the difference between financial and medical POA and why “joint and several” structures can prevent dangerous delays during crises.Care isn’t one-size-fits-all, so we map decisions across four pillars: finances, available supports, medical thresholds, and social life. You’ll hear realistic options for aging in place, day programs, and residential care, plus how to evaluate trade-offs without losing sight of dignity and safety. Family dynamics matter just as much as budgets; we offer ways to split responsibilities by strength, protect against caregiver burnout, and bring in neutral third-party help when old roles and resentments block progress.Most of all, we get practical about communication. Learn gentle language shifts that lower conflict—meeting your loved one where they are, using positive prompts, redirecting stress, and stepping away before frustration boils over. These everyday moves can turn battles into moments of connection and help you create more calm, meaningful time together.Visit talkaboutaging.com for free resources and contact options. Follow on Instagram at Aging Parent Journey for short videos and tips.If this conversation helps, share it with someone in the thick of caregiving. Subscribe for future episodes, leave a review to support the show, and tell us: what’s your biggest caregiving challenge right now?Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.We unpack how long-term care insurance funds care for daily living needs, why Medicare stops short, and how early planning protects dignity and choice. Real numbers, tax perks, employer options, and alternatives help you map a plan that fits your health, age, and budget.• definition of long-term care and what it covers• why home care often delivers better attention• Medicare and health insurance limits on long-term care• the emotional and financial cost of late planning• tax-free benefits and business deductibility• when to buy and how age and health affect premiums• hybrid, short-term, and subscription-based alternatives• employer plans for younger staff and retention• steps to start, state differences, and who to contact“Call Raymond at 253-432-9491 or 253-275-6091 and visit lavineltcins.com for details”Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.We talk with Harmony Home Medical’s Erica Sell about practical tools that make caregiving safer and calmer, from dementia‑friendly bathing to safer transfers and mobility that preserves independence. We share ways to pay for the right gear, find reliable help, and protect caregiver health.• Why home‑like equipment improves acceptance and outcomes• Lower‑cost bathing options that avoid remodels• Warm‑mist and no‑rinse bed bathing to protect skin• High–low beds that save backs and reduce fear• Transfer aids from poles to sit‑to‑stand devices• Mobility picks: U‑Step, upright walkers, transport chairs• Lightweight folding power chairs and power‑assist add‑ons• Financing, used gear, and reimbursement strategies• How to find and vet local medical supply support• Respite resources and caregiver self‑care“Yeah it's harmonyhomedical.com and on YouTube it's the same you type in harmony home medical we’re the only one on there”Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Some dates don’t just mark time; they pull you back into a room you can still smell and hear. I open up about the hardest stretch of my year—the week from New Year’s Eve to January 6—when hospice set the timeline, the music got louder, and my resolve to keep my mom from being alone turned into a nightly vigil. If you’ve ever felt the sting of an anniversary date, especially after a long season of caregiving through dementia, this conversation offers language, tools, and gentle company.We explore how grief changes during the holidays, why trigger dates can feel like alarms in the body, and the practical ways to prepare: plan A and plan B, honest boundaries with friends, taking the day off work, and creating rituals that actually comfort. I share the small things that mattered—Barry Manilow on repeat, a chair by the bed, marshmallow Peeps, and the calm that arrived when my mom sensed familiar songs. We talk about building a memory corner, lighting a candle, writing a letter, cooking a favorite dish, or choosing quiet over crowds. There’s room here for all approaches, including pretending the date doesn’t exist if that’s what keeps you steady.Caregivers and grievers will also hear about the moments near the end that felt like grace: my mom seeing loved ones, the softening in her breath, and the peace that came without an exact time stamp. We challenge the myth that the “first year is the hardest,” and acknowledge how year two can ache just as much. Most of all, we hold space for your way of remembering—whether that’s tea and old photos, a playlist from the 60s and 70s, or a plan to leave early if the room gets loud.If this resonates, share it with someone who needs a companion for their tough date, subscribe for more candid stories about grief and dementia, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your rituals matter. Your boundaries count. And you don’t have to carry this alone.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.https://www.rememberingalife.com/https://www.fordfh.com/https://nfda.org/The room changes the moment a calm dog trots in. We sat down with Dan Ford—second-generation funeral director and incoming president of the National Funeral Directors Association—to unpack how trained therapy dogs help families breathe easier, speak freely, and find a little relief on the hardest days. Meet Joey, the lap-loving “little gentleman,” and Annie, a gentle golden doodle who leans into a mourner’s leg to say, I’m here. Their presence isn’t a novelty; it’s practical neuroscience in action, turning overwhelming services into spaces where people can actually feel and talk.Dan walks us through the craft behind the comfort: temperament over breed, clear consent with families, structured breaks, and national certification with recertification every two years. He shares moments that stick—a granddaughter holding Joey through an entire visitation, community members asking about the dogs at the grocery store—and why boundaries matter when allergies or discomfort arise. We also zoom out to the core ethic of death care: empathy. Dan learned from his father that if empathy fades, it’s time to change careers. That principle shapes how his team supports families and how he protects his own resilience with honest communication at home.Then we get tactical. The first 24 to 48 hours after a death can bring over a hundred decisions. Preplanning turns guesswork into guidance. We cover how to start conversations, what to document, and where to learn more. Dan points to RememberingALife.com, an NFDA-backed resource with consumer-friendly tools for funeral planning, therapy dog insights, and finding a trusted funeral home. The takeaway is simple and powerful: compassionate support can be trained, and clarity can be chosen. Put them together and the path through grief gets a little steadier.If this conversation helped, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it today, and leave a review to help more caregivers and grieving families find us.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.We explore how to tell normal aging from early signs of dementia during holiday gatherings, using practical examples and clear comparisons. We share stories from our families, outline next steps for testing, and point you to resources that make hard talks easier.• memory loss that disrupts daily life vs recalling later• planning and problem solving decline beyond simple errors• getting lost on familiar routes and inside stores• confusion about dates, seasons, and future plans• vision and spatial changes that affect driving and balance• language gaps, menu anxiety, and repeated stories• misplacing items and inability to retrace steps• poor judgment with money and self-care• social withdrawal and loss of hobbies• mood and personality changes tied to overwhelm• how to rule out UTIs, depression, and diabetes• why early evaluation and resources matter• using Alzheimer’s Association tools and checklists• starting compassionate, concrete conversations at homeYou can always reach me at my email, which is L-I-S-M-A-R-93 at yahoo.comSupport the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.The moment when you realize your parent is getting lost in familiar places marks the beginning of a different kind of grief. For those with loved ones experiencing early onset Alzheimer's – dementia that begins before age 65 – this journey starts much sooner than expected.Drawing from my personal experience with my mother, who began showing symptoms in her mid-60s but wasn't diagnosed until much later, I explore the unique challenges of early onset Alzheimer's. Unlike the typical cases affecting those in their late 70s or 80s, this form strikes approximately 200,000 Americans earlier in life, accounting for about 3% of all Alzheimer's cases. The disease progresses more aggressively in younger patients, yet presents with symptoms that are often missed or misattributed to stress, depression, or normal aging.Through my mother's story, I share the subtle warning signs we missed – her sudden refusal to drive, blaming it on disliking a new car; her reluctance to shop independently; her inability to follow simple television plots. These weren't just normal forgetfulness but manifestations of a brain changing far too soon. Early onset patients often experience unusual symptoms beyond memory loss, including difficulties processing visual information, recognizing faces (even of spouses and children), and significant declines in language, writing, and executive functioning skills. Perhaps most heartbreaking is that these patients typically maintain good physical health while experiencing profound cognitive decline – my mother remained mobile without assistance despite advanced dementia, surprising even her hospice nurses.If you're caring for someone with dementia or noticing concerning changes in a loved one, please reach out through comments or my upcoming Instagram page. Share your experiences, suggest topics you'd like covered, or simply connect with others walking this difficult path. Together, we can navigate the complex journey of caregiving, memory loss, and the grief that comes when someone we love begins to forget.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.What happens when someone you love starts seeing people who aren't there? For dementia caregivers, this moment can be jarring, confusing, and even frightening. But as I discovered during my mother's journey with dementia, these hallucinations can sometimes bring unexpected comfort.When my mom first began seeing a little girl with red hair, I recognized she was connecting with her cousin who had died at age 11. Later, she spoke with her brother who had passed just a year before—someone we deliberately never told her had died to spare her from repeatedly experiencing that grief. Rather than correcting her, I asked questions and joined her reality. "What are they saying?" I'd ask, or "Isn't it nice they came to visit?" This approach preserved her dignity and the comfort these connections brought her.Before assuming hallucinations are simply symptoms of advancing dementia, caregivers should consult healthcare providers to rule out urinary tract infections, medication side effects, or other physical causes. Once medical issues are addressed, the key challenge becomes how to respond compassionately. Rather than arguing about what's "real," successful approaches include validating feelings, offering reassurance, redirecting attention if needed, and making environmental modifications like improving lighting or covering mirrors that might trigger confusing reflections.For many with dementia, seeing departed loved ones isn't frightening—it's comforting. My mother found peace in these connections, and that brought me peace too. By entering her world rather than demanding she enter mine, we created moments of genuine connection despite the progression of her illness. Perhaps the greatest lesson dementia teaches us is to be present in the moment, just as our loved ones are forced to be. Years later, I'm grateful for the times I set aside my need to correct and simply joined my mother where she was.If you're navigating this complex journey of caregiving, know you're not alone. Sometimes the most profound gift we can give is simply meeting our loved ones in their reality, whatever that might be today.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.The emotional toll of caring for a loved one with dementia can be overwhelming, but finding moments of joy, laughter, and connection might just save your sanity. Author Brenda Prater-Sellers joins us to share her deeply personal journey of caring for her mother through ten years of dementia - a challenge she describes as more difficult than climbing Mount Everest or jumping from planes.With disarming honesty and warmth, Brenda reveals how her "sweet, timid Christian mother" underwent dramatic personality changes, and the strategies that helped her navigate this challenging terrain. Rather than constantly correcting her mother (which often led to agitation), Brenda learned to enter her mother's reality, discovering five specific approaches that brought comfort: scenic drives, ice cream treats, story reading, classic TV shows, and receiving mail.The conversation takes a practical turn as Brenda shares crucial time management strategies that allowed her to balance caregiving with running multiple businesses and maintaining her own mental health. "If you don't schedule time for yourself, your day is going to be gone before you know it," she advises fellow caregivers. Her ingenious approach of asking her mother for help with simple tasks rather than telling her what to do resonates with caregiving experts everywhere.Perhaps most powerfully, Brenda discusses choosing laughter over tears when facing difficult behaviors. "I just had to laugh. Otherwise, you're so sad that this happened." This philosophy not only preserved her wellbeing but created unexpected moments of connection with her mother.Brenda's experiences formed the foundation of her book "You Slept When? Calamities of a Clumsy Businesswoman," which has raised over $50,000 for Alzheimer's Tennessee and other nonprofits. Whether you're currently caring for someone with dementia or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers both practical strategies and emotional comfort for the journey ahead.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Grief doesn't wait for goodbye. It weaves through every moment of the dementia caregiving journey, creating a complex emotional landscape that few discuss openly.When your loved one sits across from you—looking the same but fundamentally changed—you experience what experts call "anticipatory grief." You mourn what's already lost while simultaneously dreading future losses. The shopping trips you can no longer take together. The recipes they once taught you but now cannot remember. The phone calls that might someday stop coming.This episode explores the profound reality that dementia creates two different people: who they were before diagnosis and who they are now. We delve into the heartbreaking contradiction of seeing someone physically present yet cognitively altered, and how caregivers must navigate this strange in-between space. The conversation touches on role reversal, dignity preservation, and finding moments to acknowledge your grief even while actively caregiving.Whether you're currently caring for someone with dementia or supporting someone who is, this candid discussion offers validation and gentle guidance. The emotional weight of watching someone you love gradually change is immense, yet understanding that grief accompanies every stage of caregiving can help you be kinder to yourself throughout the journey.Grab your beverage of choice—coffee, tea, or perhaps wine on the difficult days—and join us at Patty's Place, where difficult conversations happen with compassion and no one needs to face these challenges alone. Share your own experiences with anticipatory grief or connect with others walking a similar path by reaching out through our website or social media channels.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.The staggering truth hits like a punch to the gut: 7.2 million Americans are currently living with Alzheimer's, and that number could nearly double to 13.8 million by 2060. As the seventh leading cause of death in the United States, dementia's impact reaches far beyond those diagnosed – it transforms families and tests the limits of our healthcare system.Our guests, Dr. Tim Walden from the University of St. Francis and Dr. Travis Staub from Rush University Medical Center, bring clarity to this complex topic by explaining that dementia isn't just one condition but an umbrella covering various disorders affecting cognition. While Alzheimer's may be the most recognized, vascular dementia, Lewy body disease, and frontotemporal dementia each present unique challenges requiring different approaches.The financial burden is almost incomprehensible – nearly 12 million family members provide 19 billion hours of unpaid care annually, valued at over $413 billion. Monthly care costs range from $4,000 to over $8,000, creating immense strain on families already struggling with the emotional devastation of watching someone they love slowly slip away.Yet amidst these sobering statistics, our experts offer powerful hope through prevention strategies backed by research. Exercise emerges as perhaps the most effective intervention, with a clear relationship between fitness levels and reduced dementia risk. The MIND Diet developed at Rush University Medical Center provides a nutritional roadmap specifically designed for brain health. Social connections, continued learning, and regular medical check-ups all contribute to building what researchers call "cognitive reserve" – the brain's resilience against decline.For those already on the caregiving journey, our guests offer this profound wisdom: though the person may seem gone, they're still there. The challenge lies in continuing to see and honor the individual beyond the disease. Whether you're concerned about your own brain health, supporting a loved one, or simply want to understand this growing health crisis, this episode provides essential insights that could change how you think about aging and memory.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Ever feel like you're drowning in caregiving responsibilities while your own needs fade silently into the background? In this raw, honest exploration of caregiver burnout, we dive deep into the often-overlooked world of self-care during life's most challenging chapters.Caregiving demands everything from us—our time, energy, patience, and heart. When caring for someone with dementia or navigating the complex landscape of grief, we excel at fighting for others while forgetting to advocate for ourselves. The result? A dangerous pattern of self-neglect disguised as strength or duty.This episode unpacks practical, accessible ways to incorporate genuine self-care into even the most demanding caregiving schedules. From simple emotional release strategies (screaming into pillows, aggressive baking, or coloring apps) to establishing vital boundaries with well-meaning friends, we explore how small moments of self-compassion can prevent caregiver collapse. The truth is refreshingly simple: if you become sick or burned out, you can't effectively care for your loved one.Beyond practical tips, we tackle the deeper challenges of caregiver self-compassion—the comparison trap, the difficulty accepting help, and the powerful realization that just because you're "up, dressed, and at work" doesn't mean you're okay. Learn why telling someone they're "so strong" rarely helps and why validating the genuine difficulty of their situation often provides more comfort than solutions.Whether you're deep in the caregiving trenches or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers perspective-shifting insights that honor both the caregiver and the cared-for. Remember: taking care of yourself isn't selfish—it's essential to sustainable caregiving.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Communicating with someone who has dementia requires entering their reality rather than expecting them to function in ours. Understanding that their brain is physically changing helps us respond with compassion instead of frustration.• People with dementia aren't being difficult or stubborn on purpose—their brain function is deteriorating• The person looks the same but their cognitive abilities have significantly changed• Short-term memory loss means they genuinely don't remember instructions or conversations from minutes earlier• "Agree, don't argue" is a fundamental principle in dementia communication• It's okay to use calming stories rather than correcting misperceptions• People with dementia only exist in the present moment—they don't recall the past or anticipate the future• Redirection and reassurance are more effective than arguments about reality• The goal should be providing peace and safety in what has become a frightening world for them• Entering their world allows for meaningful connection despite cognitive decline• The Alzheimer's Association website offers valuable resources for dementia communicationI would love to hear from you. Please send me an email through the website with your questions or topics you'd like me to address in future episodes.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.Support the show

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.How do you take care of a loved one with Dementia? Support the show