Pointless

Send us Fan Mail  We are sick of talking about AFL teams beginning with C, especially those with an "n" and a "t" in them.  So we do our best to talk about other things leading into Gather Round

Send us Fan Mail   Surprise surprise we talk a lot about Carlton, using insightful quotes from Alexander the Great as well as Alexander the Not-Too-Bad (aka Dom's son Alex).  Dom gets worked up and Martin pokes the Bear.

Send us Fan Mail  So many possibilities for titles this week - from unumpirable rules to the opposite of nonchalance.  The AFL keeps out-doing itself with complexity and inequity.  But we are here to help you work it all out. All with no mention of the price of fuel.

Send us Fan Mail  Part B kicks off with our favourite French Bulldog (well, equal favourite) disgracing himself.  Sound is fixed and we uncover the secret of the old club songs sung by The Fable Singers in 1972

Send us Fan Mail  We've split this one because the first 20 minutes (part A) has a few audio issues (sorry!)  Fixed in Part B :) Martin is of course Cock-A-Hoop after Opening Round and Dom wants to talk about anything other than footy

Send us Fan MailI caught up with Paddy and Mark ("Edmo") in London in the off season and talked fishmongers, bloodbaths, pies and dogs. Oh and of course, Bazzball...

Send us Fan MailIn Part 2 we analyse how cheer squads should use the principles of curling in AFL games and Martin complains for three hours about the draw. Again

Send us Fan MailWe're back! Join us in 2026 for a no-insight, pointless ramble around the world of AFL or anything else we notice

Send us Fan MailIn this episode, the hosts discuss the latest updates from the AFL, including team changes, player injuries, and reflections on the preliminary finals. They delve into the emotional aspects of player selection for the grand final and share insights from the recent Brownlow Medal ceremony, highlighting both achievements and controversies. The conversation also touches on cultural observations within the league, particularly regarding player names and team perceptions. In this episode, the hosts delve into various topics ranging from the quirks of language to predictions for the upcoming grand final. They analyze team performances, particularly focusing on Collingwood and GWS, and discuss the importance of mental resilience in sports. The conversation also touches on Formula One, the rise of zero alcohol beverages, and the challenges of creating good non-alcoholic wine. Finally, they brainstorm ideas for their own 'Pointless Awards' to celebrate the most trivial moments of the season.

Send us Fan MailIn this engaging conversation, the hosts delve into various aspects of the AFL, including game scheduling, team performance, and the upcoming grand final. They discuss the peculiarities of match timings, express confidence in their teams, and critique the AFL's award systems. The conversation also touches on the controversial State of Origin scheduling, player trades, and the proposed Tassie stadium. With humor and camaraderie, they explore the dynamics of fan loyalty and the absurdities of the sport, culminating in predictions for the grand final.

Send us Fan Mail  Just Martin and Dom this week, dissecting the big finals stories, like if Pendlebury is "unflappable", who is the AFL's most "flappable" player?  And how good would it be if we replaced the goalposts with lasers?  Not to mention some great names in the teams - like Bruce Reville (aka Breville) or the Brisbane Lions (Brions) and Fremantle Dockers (Frockers)...  you get the picture

Send us Fan Mail   No your eyes are not deceiving you - we are back!  And we do not shy away from the big issues.  Martin rants and raves again about the draw, Gemma is PUMPED for the finals and Dom does everything to shy away from talking about the Blues.  It's worth the wait (or is it...?)

Send us Fan Mail  When Martin and Dom had a weekend away in Adelaide we thought - why would we keep that to ourselves?  Listen to Dom's heart breaking in 38 seconds as Adelaide kick three goals in the third quarter to absolutely ruin the game as a contest.  And stay tuned for Dom picking up Martin's broken pieces after watching Collingwood on TV miss a kick after the siren to lose to Geelong.

Send us Fan Mail  After a little break, it's just the old blokes this week.  Martin and Dom discuss their trip to Adelaide to see the Blues come back to earth with a THUD, as well as just how many umpires could we have and still do an awful job.  We examine how the best teams in the league at the moment are the oldest - it's a new trend!

Send us Fan Mail  Back with a full list this week, we realise that the two teams that changed logos this year - the Suns and the Crows - haven't lost a quarter so far.  So a rebrand is the obvious move for the Blues.  We do discuss other clubs (but not much, sob...)

Send us Fan Mail  Our friends Bhav and Mike join Alex and Dom at Marvel Stadium for a first-time look at AFL!

Send us Fan Mail   A late change this week saw Gemma out and a non-special guest join, Pointless's Number One Ticket Holder, Dom's brother Anth.  He talks about Geelong a bit but mostly he, Martin and Dom try and find a description for Carlton's alleged worst loss for 50-60 years.  In the end, thanks to SpaceX, we found the right description...

Send us Fan Mail   Despite all advice to the contrary, we are back!  Gemma, Martin and Dom even have new equipment so there is some hope that you will be able to hear us!  We talk opening round and whether you'd kick with the cyclone if you won the toss... We also have some "structure", including a new history segment (this week the notorious season of 1910), a bespoke theme song and Martin's Beefs.  We are Up and About for 2025!

Send us Fan MailHello there.  By popular demand we tried one more episode but nobody showed up and so Alex and Dom decided to show how little they know about pretty much anything, but especially the draft, new team logos and next year's draw.  But after stumbling around the world of Patrick Cripps's left nipple they do still hold onto that last semblance of hope for the Blues in 2025...

Send us Fan MailWell we're all depressed, but none more so than our Gemma after her beloved Giants had their hearts broken yet again.  In a fit of rage straight after the game, Gemma made a list of seven things she HATES about AFL, adding one more in for good measure during the podcast.  Dom gets closure on the completion of Carlton's disgrace, and Martin gets excited about the Brownlow.  Very good listening :) 

Send us Fan MailLate change:  Gemma OUT; Alex IN.We discuss the important question of whether it is better to be in the Eight disgracefully or out of the Eight respectedly, review what we learnt from the ladders and how we did on our Finals predictions from our first episode.  Go Blues and Giants

Send us Fan MailWe're excited to be on a different recording platform (Squadcast) today and beside ourselves with receiving listener feedback AND with the permutations and perambulations through the final three rounds of the season.  I received zero comments on the preamble I wrote last week so I now have had it confirmed that NO-ONE reads this.  I like writing it though, so, you know, I'm going for it.  Go Blues.  I believe in you Charlie :)

Send us Fan MailThe team keeps one eye on the Seine tonight watching for anything unsavoury to pop up in the triathlon while we talk up the Giants and try to ignore the Blues and Pies.  Does anybody read this?  I don't think so.  I've never had a comment on it.  Not even from Martin or Gemma. Or Anth, Sime, Jess, Kate or Alex.  Neither from Ness, Rach, Sam or Charlie.  Oh well.  Not the end of the world.

Send us Fan MailIn this week's episode, we have a guest!  One of Martin's sons, Tim joins us again to report back on the worm population of the MCG and questions whether in fact a worm has ever been burned.  Dom tries to avoid talking about last week's match and we explore the fascinating world of Collingwood's "aura" and manage to use the word "synesthete" for the first time ever recorded.  Other stuff in there too like Wushu at the Olympics - we even talk about other footy teams.  It's a long one but as hardly anyone (including us) ever listen we thought, what the heck?  Over to you!

Send us Fan MailThis week we again have our microphones, so you can actually understand, well hear us.  Gemma is very sad, Martin is less sad but very unhappy with the umpires, but Dom loves football and can't see anything wrong with any of it (da da da da daaa).  We talk Wimbledon, US politics, sloths, New Zealand and AI.  Oh and there's a bit on footy - like whether a dishonourable win is worse than an honourable loss...?

Send us Fan MailWimbledon Special:  nothing to do with tennis but in June Dom caught up with a couple of English mates (who he used to play tennis with in Wimbledon - there you go) to talk jargon from the "other" football.  Thanks to Paddy and Mark for coming out on a Monday night!

Send us Fan MailAfter a three (four?) week break we are back and getting over-excited about the range of thuds and contextual featherings from round 14 (or was it 15?)  Gemma is trying to make sense of the low smileometer readings coming from the West and Martin tells endless pathetic anecdotes about Collingwood.  Thank goodness Dom is there to talk sense about not one but THREE alternative ladders.  You know you need them

Send us Fan MailGreat news - no late changes and in fact we are all in person for only the second time!  The sound is still sh-t despite all our best efforts but you would expect nothing less.  We go deep into featherings and trolling flaps, with another live cross to the fishing boat and examine the Collingwood-Freo draw, deciding whether Collingwood plucked defeat from the jaws of victory or Freo did it the other way around.  One thing for sure - we had an absolute blast doing this one! 

Send us Fan MailEver wondered whether umpires like feedback?  Get the 5-minute answer from three blokes in a boat

Send us Fan MailAnother late change.  Out: Martin.  In: Gemma. Which was great news as neither of us felt like talking footy at all after last week, and especially not with a gloating Collingwood fan.  So we talked fishing.  Sadly the discussion did weave its way back to footy, with some great insights into the Tennis Ladder, lots of thuds, the concept of GWS having an Underhang and importantly - some outstanding feathering.  Over to you!

Send us Fan MailLate change this week with Gemma unwell forcing us to use the Medical Sub early and we were pretty pleased with ourselves we have to admit...  Martin and I are joined by  David Rowell, father of the Gold Coast Suns superstar Matt, live from Darwin.  We get the inside word on what's happening in Darwin including playing in basically 100% humidity and rumours of new guernseys for the Suns.  Naturally we also try again to explain the tennis ladder and talk about Sunday Beltings.  Enjoy!

Send us Fan MailTo celebrate double-digit podcasting, this week the three of us are reunited and hitting the big topics in the AFL - not just whether Luke Beveridge will last past the weekend (everyone is covering that), but the important things like are there actually any worms living in the MCG turf?  Who has a Yip Predisposition?  Are Thuds contextual?  And if you don't come to earth with a Thud, is it more like falling gently to earth like a... feather??  Sorry about the length - we couldn't shut Martin up after Collingwood's win last week...

Send us Fan MailWithout Gemma this week, who was subbed out for birthday celebrations (happy birthday Gemma!) Martin and Dom discuss who doesn't really have a proper rival and should therefore have to sit it out on Rivalry Round, whether Carlton thudded, having a sook and having a ping, all while eating and analysing the ingredients of Chicken Crimpy biscuits.

Send us Fan MailA different one this week!  Alex and Dom find themselves at Marvel Stadium for Pointless Cup II, Carlton vs GWS.  Insightful commentary on glow-in-the-dark jumpers, how many seconds in a year and lots of gratuitous da da da da daaaas as the Blues notch up a famous victory.  We even managed to accidentally record our favourite line from someone in the crowd shouting at the umpire - "YOU'VE GOT ONE JOB!"

Send us Fan MailIn this week's episode, we explore the weird and wonderful world of worm burning (singeing?), where the chewy might actually be on your boot, how to find your car at VFL Park and other equally pointless stuff.  We also check in on the moral premiership, the Pointless Brownlow and Tennis Ladder and round off with the usual Smileometer and Thud Review.  Over to you!

Send us Fan MailAfter the FOOTY FEAST of "Gather Round", the three of us are back together and actually talk quite a bit about football (apologies).  We identify who thudded and who is still languishing, touch on the Smileometer and update the moral premiership and two VERY EXCITING developments on the Tennis Ladder...  

Send us Fan MailIn a bonus this week, with Gemma away and Martin unable to join, Dom sits down with his son Alex to talk about inter-generational Carlton (and other) supporters, what team's mascots can and can't be eaten and other key topics, like... redemption

Send us Fan MailOur fifth episode and we think we have finally got the SOUND right!  We talk about ridiculous byes in round 3 and 4, say hello to the rising Saints, talk about languishing, the smile-ometer and introduce the Thud Radar - is your team on it...???

Send us Fan MailFor the first time ever in the same room, Gemma, Martin and Dom debrief the first two rounds of the AFL season, discuss premiership hangovers and start to form opinions on our idiosyncratic (is that how you spell that?) performance measures 

Send us Fan MailJoin Gemma and Dom to warm up for the first bounce of the 2024 AFL season.  Martin's away enjoying himself but we talk about gameday outfits, women's sport, poshy posh people and our tips for the first four matches (notice how we didn't say "Opening Round"...?)

Send us Fan MailIn this episode Martin joins Gemma and Dom and we talk pre-season dreams, alternative Brownlow counts and premiership ladders before we're joined by Jon talking St Kilda until the lights go out and we have to go home.

Send us Fan MailIN this, our first ever podcast attempt, Gemma and Dom attempt to understand why the 2024 AFL season opener is not in fact round one, why we support the teams we do, and in general ramble on about nothing much.  Oh, we do a few predictions also.  Enjoy!