PolySoCal

In this episode, PolySoCal brings in an East Coast triad to explore the intersection of polyamory and kink. The conversation dives into whether poly is inherently kinky, how BDSM frameworks influence communication and structure, and where emotional relationships differ from play or connection. Through real experiences, the group breaks down the overlap, the misconceptions, and the realities of building relationships rooted in honesty, power dynamics, and intentional communication. This episode highlights that while poly and kink often intersect, they are not the same, and each relationship defines its own boundaries. Alonzo Banx, Noah, Heather, Joshua, Cat, Natalie 

In this roundtable episode of PolySoCal, the group takes an honest look at the harder side of polyamory. While the community often celebrates the freedom and connection that poly relationships can bring, the panel digs into the realities that come with it. Jealousy, insecurity, heartbreak, communication struggles, and the emotional work required to maintain multiple relationships are all part of the conversation. Through personal stories and candid discussion, the group explores why people continue choosing poly even when it becomes difficult, and how security, trust, and communication help partners navigate the challenges.  Alonzo Banx, Cupcake, Noah, Dalia, Heather, Lana, Blake, Max 

In this episode of PolySoCal, the panel explores a deceptively simple question: can people move in and out of poly relationships and communities, or does belonging create deeper responsibilities? The conversation looks at how connection, identity, and commitment intersect in non monogamous spaces. Panelists share personal experiences about stepping away from relationships, returning to community, and navigating the tension between personal freedom and emotional accountability. The discussion highlights how trust, communication, and respect shape whether relationships remain open doors or closed chapters. Host Alonzo BanX, Psy, Patty, John, Kat

In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes back Dr. Joli Hamilton for a deeper conversation about love languages, attachment needs, and how people experience connection in relationships. The discussion explores the limitations of rigid love language categories and how emotional needs shift based on context, life experience, and personal growth. Through personal stories and expert insight, the panel examines how curiosity, communication, and self awareness allow partners to better understand and support each other. This episode reframes connection not as a fixed formula, but as an evolving process of discovery. 

In this episode, the PolySoCal panel takes a focused look at three emotions central to polyamorous relationships: compersion, envy, and jealousy. The conversation explores how these feelings differ, how they often overlap, and how timing, communication, and emotional awareness shape the way they impact relationships.Through personal experiences, the group examines how jealousy can signal unmet needs, how envy can arise from exclusion rather than fear of loss, and how compersion can develop over time through trust and security. The discussion also highlights the importance of processing emotions internally before communicating them, and how thoughtful delivery can strengthen connection rather than create unintended harm.This episode offers grounded insight into the emotional complexity of polyamory and reinforces that these experiences are not signs of failure, but opportunities for deeper understanding and growth. Alonzo Banx, Max, Patty, Heather, Jon, Cookie, Lana, Blake 

 In this deep dive episode, Max shares his personal journey through submission, identity, and self discovery. He speaks openly about his experience with hypnosis, kink, and emotional connection, explaining how submission is not about weakness, but about trust, consent, and mutual respect. The conversation explores demisexuality, the importance of emotional rapport, and how personal growth often comes from confronting uncertainty and embracing authenticity. This episode offers an honest look at how identity evolves and how relationships can become a path toward understanding oneself more fully. 

In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes Kevin Anthony (Certified Sexologist, Tantra Counselor, NLP Practitioner, and host of The Love Lab Podcast) for an open, practical conversation about intimacy, communication, and emotional connection.Kevin breaks down common challenges like performance anxiety, delayed orgasm, finishing too quickly, and how porn conditioning impacts real relationships. The panel shares personal experiences while Kevin offers grounded tools around arousal awareness, partner communication, and reframing sex as collaboration rather than performance.The episode balances vulnerability with education, emphasizing that intimacy works best when partners stay curious, communicate early, and approach sex as something they build together. Alonzo (Victor) Banx, Kevin Anthony, Noah, Max, Heather, Psy https://www.kevinanthonycoaching.comhttps://www.powerandmastery.comHost of The Love Lab Podcast Kevin Anthony Coaching Youtube Channel

In this deep dive episode, PolySoCal welcomes back Dr. Deborah Lukovich for a wide-ranging conversation about dreams, desire, projection, and the unconscious forces shaping our relationships.Dr. Lukovich explores how dream imagery, sexual symbolism, and recurring emotional patterns act as data points from the psyche rather than literal messages. Through personal stories and live analysis, the discussion reframes attraction, fear, fantasy, and intimacy as invitations toward greater self-awareness and individuation.This episode is reflective, psychologically rich, and focused on helping listeners better understand themselves rather than “fix” their relationships.

In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes Brianna Bass, therapist and board certified clinical sexologist, for a deep, practical conversation about burnout, intimacy, nervous system regulation, and how relationship patterns show up under stress. Brianna shares insight from her neuroscience based approach, helping the panel unpack pursuer withdraw dynamics, emotional fatigue, boundaries, and how partners can become either energy drains or energy reservoirs.The group explores real world challenges including work burnout, chronic exhaustion, communication breakdowns, jealousy patterns, and how intentional connection through the eight forms of intimacy can rebuild closeness. From scheduled quality time to financial intimacy, the episode stays grounded in lived experience, offering listeners concrete tools for navigating modern relationships, especially in ethical non monogamy. Alonzo Banx, Brianna Bass, Cupcake, Cookie, Noah, Lana, Jon, Patricia 

In this episode, PolySoCal returns for a deeper, more personal conversation with Dr. Joli Hamilton, exploring individuation, depth psychology, meaning making, and how these concepts intersect with polyamory and modern relationships.Dr. Joli unpacks what individuation really means, how unconscious material shapes our choices, and why polyamory can function as an individuation path rather than simply a relationship structure. The discussion moves through Jungian psychology, the role of culture in meaning making, midlife transitions, jealousy and envy, and how people metabolize life experiences to become more fully themselves.This episode is reflective and foundational, offering language for understanding identity, relationships, and personal transformation beyond surface-level behavior or quick fixes.Alonzo Banx, Patty, Dr. Joli Hamilton,

In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes Dr. Joli Hamilton, a depth psychologist, relationship coach, and AASECT - certified sex educator whose doctoral research focuses on jealousy and consensual non monogamy. The panel explores what jealousy actually is, how it shows up in the body, and why the healthiest long-term approach is not suppression or immediate reframing, but naming it, understanding its “flavor,” and building tools for emotional regulation.Dr. Joli introduces practical concepts like nervous system grounding, regular relationship check-ins, the power dynamic between experienced and newer partners, the difference between jealousy and envy, and the importance of a “jealousy rescue plan.” The episode also dives into the eroticization of jealousy, including why it can be powerful when done safely and why it can be dangerous without strong agreements, skills, and a rescue plan. Alonzo Banx, Dr. Joli Hamilton, Solara, Captain Lynn, Cookie, Patty, John All of my jealousy resourceshttps://www.jolihamilton.com/jealousyresourcePlaying with Fire Podcasthttps://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/joli-hamilton/

In this episode of PolySoCal, the panel is joined by Dr. Deborah Lukovich, depth psychology coach, author, and host of the Dose of Depth podcast. The conversation explores depth psychology, the unconscious, midlife unraveling, projection, shadow work, sexuality, spirituality, and how these concepts show up in relationships, including ethical non monogamy.Through listener questions and real-life reflections, Dr. Lukovich explains how emotional triggers, attraction, jealousy, body experiences, and relational conflict can be understood as messages from the unconscious rather than problems to suppress. The discussion moves through individuation, ancestral wounds, projection, and the idea that relationships function as laboratories for self-awareness and growth.This episode is reflective, emotionally grounded, and educational, offering listeners language and frameworks for understanding themselves more deeply through their relationships.www.deborahlukovich.comAlonzo Banx, Dr. Deborah Lukovich, Heather, Beeb, Jon, Noah, Cupcake, Lana, Blake 

In this episode, the PolySoCal panel explores a big question: Is ethical non monogamy on the rise, and could it actually change the world? The conversation looks at cultural shifts, generational differences, accessibility through the internet, and how acceptance varies by geography and social environment.Panelists discuss whether ENM is becoming more visible versus truly more common, how younger generations approach relationships differently, and whether social and economic pressures influence alternative relationship structures. The group also addresses concerns around accountability, emotional responsibility, and whether polyamory risks making relationships feel disposable.Rather than landing on a single answer, the episode highlights nuance: ENM may not transform the world overnight, but it may expand empathy, communication, and acceptance in meaningful ways over time.Alonzo Banx, Heather, Ash, Cookie, Cupcake, Noah, Beeb, Max

In this episode, the PolySoCal panel explores the difference between structured time and unstructured time in polyamorous relationships, and why both matter. The conversation digs into intentionality, spontaneity, coexisting versus connecting, and how different kinds of time can fill different emotional needs.Through personal examples involving dating, cohabitation, errands, house swaps, and day-to-day life, the group examines how structured time often centers around intentional connection, while unstructured time builds comfort, familiarity, and a sense of family. The discussion highlights how definitions can vary between partners, and why clear communication about needs is essential to maintaining healthy, balanced relationships.Alonzo Banx, Heather, Patty, Noah, Jon, Beeb, Max

In this episode of PolySoCal, we welcome relationship expert Jim Fleckenstein for an in-depth conversation on emotional intelligence, jealousy, conflict resolution, and communication within polyamorous and non-traditional relationships.Rather than a roundtable of shared experiences, this episode centers on thoughtful questions from the panel and practical, experience-based insight from Jim. Topics include managing emotional reactions, understanding jealousy as information rather than failure, navigating conflict without escalation, and building healthier relational habits through awareness and accountability.Alonzo BanX, Jim Fleckenstein, Patty, Jon, Noah, Solana, Lana, Blake

This milestone episode celebrates 25 weeks of honest conversations, community bonding, and emotional evolution on the PolySoCal Podcast. The cast reflects on how being part of the show has changed them from deeper communication and personal confidence to stronger connections both inside and outside their relationships.Together they explore how vulnerability has strengthened friendships, how sharing stories helps dismantle shame, and how this podcast has become a haven for those learning to love authentically. The group also looks forward, imagining more guests, broader conversations, and continued growth in both reach and emotional impact.Playful moments, heartfelt gratitude, and real talk about what relationships take… this episode is a powerful checkpoint on the PolySoCal journeyAlonzo Banx, Patty, Heather, Jon, Noah

This episode dives into the chaotic world of wingmanning and wingwomaning in polyamorous dating. The cast shares real-life stories of how helping a partner flirt can easily turn into blocking them instead. There is a strong mix of humor and truth as the group explores what enthusiastic consent looks like in public spaces — and how jealousy, obliviousness, and possessiveness can shape the night.There are no conclusions, no clean lessons — just funny and relatable moments that make the poly dating learning curve universal.Alonzo Banx(Host), Jon, Patty, Cupcake, Heather

This week’s PolySoCal conversation centered around gratitude — and it turned deeply personal fast. The group shared what they’re most thankful for in life, exploring how trauma, resilience, and identity shape the love we give and receive. Themes of healing from injury and illness, releasing grief, and supporting partners through transformation were woven throughout the night. It was a powerful reminder that community is most meaningful when vulnerability is welcome.Guests talked openly about physical recovery, emotional growth, reshaping relationships, and gratitude for partners and chosen family. This episode highlights how personal evolution and non-traditional love structures often go hand-in-hand — with a community showing up for one another through every version of themselves.Alonzo Banx , Max, Blake, Lana, Heather, Patty, Katerina, Jon, Beeb 

this episode dives into the emotional landscape of aging within polyamorous and kink-friendly relationships. The group explores vulnerability, sexual confidence, physical changes, emotional safety, and the evolving experience of intimacy between partners of different ages. What starts as a discussion about sexual safety expands into honest storytelling about ED, communication, demisexuality, confidence, being seen, and how partners can support each other as their bodies and desires shift over time.The conversation becomes one of the most open and intimate episodes yet, blending humor, sincerity, real stories, and cross-generational wisdom. Alonzo Banx (Host), Max, Lana, Blake, Solara, Noah, Heather, Captain Lynn

The discussion moves far beyond physical protection, delving into emotional safety — the kind of trust that allows someone to be fully vulnerable, seen, and accepted. Each guest brings a deeply personal perspective: Patty speaks about freedom of expression and emotional honesty, John reflects on being “a safe person” and the complexities of male vulnerability, Heather explores how self-knowledge and boundaries create safety, and Katerina opens a profound dialogue about energy, forgiveness, and the balance between sexual and emotional intimacy.The result is a moving, intelligent, and deeply human conversation about the courage it takes to love openly — and the spiritual strength it requires to be truly safe with another person.Alonzo Banx welcomes Patty, Heather, John,  Katerina

In this candid interview, host Alonzo Banx sits down with Patty, a cornerstone of the PolySoCal community, for a deep and heartfelt conversation about her 31-year relationship with her husband John, their journey through polyamory, and the wisdom that only comes from decades of experience.Patty shares stories from their early days — from swinging to growing into emotionally connected polyamory — and opens up about raising children, facing red flags, and learning the art of saying no without guilt. Together, Alonzo and Patty explore what it means to build love that evolves, adapts, and survives life’s toughest lessons.This episode is tender, funny, and full of grounded insight for anyone curious about long-term love in non-traditional relationships.

One of the most spirited PolySoCal roundtables yet, exploring the question: Do you have to be kinky to be poly? and Isn’t poly just swinging, anyway?What begins as a lighthearted discussion quickly evolves into a candid exploration of love, sex, and self-definition. With a full cast including Max, Patty, Cupcake, John, Noah, and Heather, the conversation dives deep into how we define “kink,” what separates emotional connection from sexual play, and why definitions matter less than honesty and communication.From laughter over “fridge contents” to heartfelt reflections on trust, vulnerability, and love, this episode captures PolySoCal at its best — open, real, and full of laughter that speaks the language of community.Max, Patty, Cupcake, John, Noah, and Heather, 

In Episode 18, Alonzo Banx brings together a familiar and lively panel — Heather, Cookie, Noah, Blake, and Lana — for a deep, candid conversation about what it really means to feel secure in polyamory. The discussion explores how love languages, trust, and communication shape emotional safety, and how security isn’t static — it’s something partners build, test, and rebuild over time.From redefining “rules” as evolving agreements, to balancing freedom with safety, and learning to love from a place of divine yes instead of fear, this episode is one of the most emotionally intelligent PolySoCal roundtables yet. It’s a heartfelt mix of vulnerability, humor, and truth about what it takes to build lasting connection in multi-partner relationships.Alonzo,  Heather, Cookie, Noah, Blake, and Lana

The PolySoCal crew dives deep into the electric, chaotic, and beautiful phenomenon known as New Relationship Energy (NRE) — that intoxicating rush when a new connection begins. Hosted by Alonzo Banx with Heather, Noah, Max, and Cupcake, the conversation explores how to recognize, manage, and sustain relationships when NRE hits hard.From emotional honesty and neglected partners to compersion, dopamine highs, and hilarious real-world stories, this roundtable captures the full spectrum of what NRE brings — the joy, the fear, the lessons, and the laughter. It’s a thoughtful, funny, and deeply human look at love’s wildest chemical ride.

In this intimate and powerful one-on-one, Alonzo Banx sits down with Cupcake, one of the most loved voices of the PolySoCal community. For the first time, she shares her journey through trauma, recovery, and self-discovery — from surviving assault and toxic relationships to finding love, strength, and healing through kink, polyamory, and community. What begins as a personal history unfolds into a message of courage, growth, and the freedom to finally live as your authentic self. Alonzo Banx (Host), Cupcake (Guest) 

In this heartfelt roundtable, the PolySoCal crew opens up about belonging, rejection, and what it truly means to feel part of a community. Hosted by Alonzo Banx with guests Lana, Noah, Ash, Sy, and Cupcake, this episode dives into the emotional undercurrents of inclusion — when we feel invited, when we don’t, and how our own perceptions shape that sense of belonging. The group explores how trust, self-worth, and proactive care from community leaders can make all the difference between isolation and connection.  Alonzo Banx, Lana, Noah, Ash, Sy, Cupcake 

 What does fear look like when you’re trying to love openly? In this episode, three men sit down to talk honestly about confidence, insecurity, aging, and the quiet ways anxiety shows up in polyamorous relationships. It’s not a debate or a lectureit’s a real conversation between friends who’ve lived the questions they’re asking. From feeling “replaceable,” to learning emotional maturity, to the unspoken pressures men carry in love, this episode hits close to home for anyone who’s ever wondered if they’re “enough.” Alonzo, Jon, Noah

Guest host Noah leads a lively and heartfelt discussion exploring the many forms of polyamory — from kitchen-table dynamics to monogamish relationships, harems of cuddle buddies, and solo poly living. The conversation opens with introductions from the full PolySoCal crew and new guests, each sharing their experiences and definitions of what “poly” means to them. Together, they dive into the importance of communication, boundaries, and how relationships evolve in today’s changing world. What begins as an exploration of relationship types turns into a deeper conversation about the future of love, trust, and connection in a society redefining what relationships look like.  Noah, Cupcake, Heather, Ash, Max, Blake, Lana, Kim, Craig 

 In this roundtable conversation, the PolySoCal Podcast takes on one of the most common questions newcomers ask: “How do I join the community and conduct myself properly?” Alonzo Banx is joined by Cupcake, Noah, Ash, Oslo, Heather, and Craig for an honest and sometimes raw discussion about the do’s and don’ts of entering poly and lifestyle spaces. The group explores respect, boundaries, consent, and the importance of self-awareness before diving in. Along the way, personal stories highlight both the beauty and the challenges of building trust in open communities. Alonzo Banx is joined by Cupcake, Noah, Ash, Oslo, Heather, and Craig.

 Hosted by Alonzo Banx, this episode of the PolySoCal Podcast brings together a group of men—Jon, Beeb, Craig, Blake, Max, and Noah—for an unfiltered conversation about what it really takes to show up in shared spaces and non-monogamous dynamics. They tackle hard truths about ego, consent, communication, and emotional responsibility, sharing both personal insights and practical advice. It’s an honest and at times vulnerable conversation about growing into the kind of man who builds trust, not tension, and creates real connections, not performative participation. A must-listen for anyone who wants to understand how men are stepping up in this space. Participants: Alonzo Banx, Jon, Beeb, Craig, Blake, Max, Noah 

 In this powerful episode of the PolySoCal Podcast, host Patty guides a roundtable of six incredible women—Heather, Jenna, Cupcake, Captain Lynn, and Lana—through a deeply honest conversation about what to expect when entering the world of open or non-traditional relationships. Drawing on lived experience and hard-earned wisdom, they explore how to ask for what you need, how to stay grounded in your values, and how to handle emotional overwhelm without losing yourself. This episode is a safe, welcoming space for anyone curious about stepping into this lifestyle—especially women seeking truth and connection on their own terms. Participants: Patty, Heather, Jenna, Cupcake, Captain Lynn, Lana 

This episode of PolySoCal podcast dives into one of the most challenging and relatable dynamics in open relationships: the uneven balance of attention and playtime between men and women. Our panel of voices shared personal stories of jealousy, reassurance, cultural bias, and creative solutions—like being your partner’s wingwoman, setting clear agreements, or simply learning to celebrate each other’s connections. The conversation was honest, vulnerable, and full of insights for anyone navigating polyamory or just curious about how real people handle these challengesAlonzo Banx (host), Patty (co-host), Heather, Jon, Blake, Lana, Noah, Cupcake, Max, and Ash

In this episode of the PolySoCal Podcast, Alonzo sits down with Patty, John, Heather, and Beeb — a four-person polycule — to talk about how their connection began, what it’s like to grow from swinging into a committed quad, and how they navigate the everyday challenges of jealousy, compersion, agreements, and family disclosure. From playful banter about “love cups” to honest reflections on emotional vulnerability and time management, this conversation offers a candid look at how four people are building a family unit rooted in communication, trust, and laughter.

In this episode of the PolysoCal Roundtable Talk, host Alonzo Banx and a diverse group of guests discuss the intricacies of polyamorous relationships. They explore how to navigate the introduction of new partners, the importance of communication, and the lessons learned from past experiences. The conversation emphasizes the significance of mental health and the need for transparency and trust in polyamorous dynamics. Each guest shares their unique perspectives and advice, creating a rich dialogue about love, boundaries, and the evolving nature of relationships.

What does the word “polyamory” actually mean anymore? In this thoughtful and sometimes spirited roundtable, Alonzo Banx opens the floor to unpack a question that’s become more complicated with time: Has the word “poly” lost its meaning—or expanded it?From ethical non-monogamy to monogamish dynamics, from swinging to polyfidelity, this episode dives into the evolving language of love and the emotional distinctions that set polyamory apart. With voices ranging from deeply seasoned to freshly curious, the conversation explores honesty, emotional depth, autonomy, and why the words we use still matter.Is poly just about having multiple partners? Or is it about communication, consent, and conscious choice? Come find out what “poly” means to the people living it—today.

In this powerful, vulnerable roundtable, the PolySoCal community explores a single, profound question: “If society never judged your relationships, how would that change the way you love?” What unfolds is a raw and deeply human conversation about family rejection, corporate fear, the grief of lost friendships, and the bittersweet path to self-acceptance.Voices range from seasoned poly veterans to newer explorers—each sharing the emotional weight of secrecy, the strength it takes to live authentically, and the quiet resilience of loving out loud in a world that often misunderstands. With stories of parenting, queer identity, chosen family, and intergenerational growth, this episode is a moving portrait of love that refuses to be boxed in.

In this week’s PolySoCal Roundtable, host Alonzo Banx welcomes an engaging mix of voices—from seasoned polycule partners to a guest with a monogamish perspective—for an honest conversation about relationship agreements. Together, they explore how couples create, uphold, and evolve agreements that foster trust, respect, and safety in ethical non-monogamy. The group shares personal strategies, from subtle “in-the-moment” check-ins to the courage of renegotiating boundaries as relationships grow. Along the way, they offer practical tools for new and experienced partners alike, proving that agreements aren’t about restriction—they’re the foundation that lets love and connection thrive. 

In this week’s PolySoCal Roundtable, host Alonzo Banx and an inspiring panel of voices explore one of the most persistent myths in ethical non-monogamy—the idea that fairness means splitting time equally between partners. Through candid stories, laughter, and heartfelt insights, they reveal why emotional presence, intentionality, and genuine connection matter far more than keeping the calendar balanced. From practical tools like “love cups” check-ins to the deep value of being fully present with each partner, this conversation offers a compassionate, real-world guide for nurturing multiple relationships without losing sight of what truly fills the heart. 

In this special PolySoCal Podcast Roundtable, Alonzo Banx gathers voices from across our community — Cookie, Noah, Cupcake, Patty, and Captain Lin — for an open, fireside-style conversation about the beliefs around love and commitment we’ve all had to unlearn. From breaking free of “one true love” conditioning to learning that jealousy can be a teacher, each guest shares personal experiences, lessons, and advice for navigating polyamory with authenticity. This episode is a heartfelt, thought-provoking exchange that invites you to reflect on your own journey toward love without limits.

In our very first episode of The PolySoCal Podcast, we sit down with Noah, Cookie, and Cupcake — a connected, loving polycule navigating life, love, and growth together. They share their journey from friendship to deep connection, the joys and challenges of joining an existing relationship, and the powerful lessons they’ve learned about compersion, communication, and self-awareness. Whether you’re new to ethical non-monogamy or looking to deepen your understanding, this conversation offers an intimate look at how love can expand when rooted in trust, care, and curiosity.