Project Studio Tea Break

This month sees the ultimate embodiment of toast Foley, Project Studio 54, sneaking in the back door of The 27 Club on a technicality, thereby clearing the decks for a forthcoming cinematic release of Commercial Studio Banquet. It's a culinary bonanza, as Mike tastes the music while nursing a GM hangover, Jon tastes his own Olivier Award with Draco Malfoy, and Abel Selaocoe tastes gateway-drug salad from an everlasting queue. And in an emotional homecoming, Lydia Sherwood's backspaceless AI alerts us to The Fun Lovin' Criminal And His Two Guest Perpetrators, while MoFi apply their Instagram kitten filter to the masterpieces of Manet in an attempt to save famous Muppet musicians from the life-threatening effects of Nickelback. Sadly, though, it is here we must leave your intrepid hosts for posterity, clinging to trees with their teeth while Einaudi enriches the hack with pedals of beautifully framed formula. You can catch Jon's ongoing endeavours all over the web via at https://linktr.ee/whittenand_ or email him direct at [email protected] And you can check out what Mike's up to by heading over to https://www.cambridge-mt.com/ or email him direct on [email protected] Fancy more of our nonsense? Binge all previous episodes at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com and access another 10 hours of bonus audio content by supporting the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak/

In this month's individually hand-marbled episode, Mike welcomes Whon Jitten into his world of vocal-editing pain, tormenting him with James Blunt, a unionised bee in a Tupperware box, and a truly horrifying polar-pattern selection. Joining them is 2021's second biggest sell-out, Bob Dylan, eschewing mayonnaise for overpriced one-of-one-so-far space-vinyl. So if you're not showering on a busy road under a helicopter while mowing the lawn, do join us in getting 80 percent of the way there with just two clicks. Alternatively, fix yourself a snack of buttered marshmallow and cosmic salami, and skate-mosh the night away to Ray Of Sunshine Against The Machine, Malmsteen's shawm, or Biffy Clyro's swearing by proxy. It's enough to make you want to scream for a living... To check out Jon's latest theatre project 'Gilgamesh, Enkidu & Ishtar', head over to https://www.instagram.com/gilgamesh_theatre_/ And you can find Mike's free Cambridge-MT podcast episode at https://www.cambridge-mt.com/alaska/ Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

In a spectacular double facepalm, Jon and Mike were completely unable to coordinate a podcasting date last month (or even early this month), but -- never fear! -- we have a couple of juicy extras to tide you over until the next proper episode in October. As if EDM fans didn't already have enough reasons to hit the bourbon... Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

It seems like only yesterday that Mike was dancing on block-colour backgrounds with 905 songs in his pocket, but his extraodinarily slow-acting curse has finally been fulfilled as Darth Cassette revanquishes iPod Skywalker in the stirring finale of The Airpods Strike Back. Meanwhile, Jon has been getting the pseuds on board by hurling his angry, passionate talent at the microphone and rattling his big draw of nicknacks and marbles (one of his cheapest, dirtiest music-production whotsits). If you're feeling more bouffant than thou, then you'll doubtless be shredding with Yngwie Malmsteen on a 14-string guitar with an M.C. Escher headstock and the cleverness of The Ancients. Or if you've been suffering from a truly three-ghoster facepalm (perhaps because those googly eyes have been looking straight into your soul), then perhaps some Googlewhack drum enhancement might help you enjoy Game Of Shrooms or Drunk Shakespeare while you snack messily on The CPU Sizzler. Needless to say, art critics have not been invited to weigh in on the subject. If you'd like to sign up for Mike's Cambridge-MT mailing list for weekly resource updates, blog posts, and tutorial freebies, just head over to: https://www.cambridge-mt.com/mailinglist Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

By the power of the shiny-haired Hrímnir frá Hvammi, a shiny-headed Jon has been doing his Gollum-inspired Riverdance over a functional horse-keyboard, causing the word 'utilise' to vanish beautifully. Setting aside the JV1080 jubilee strings, however, he's been working hard at a Republican campsite to make his guitar sound as awful as The Dukes Of Haphazard. But could anything be as awful as Diana Ross's headline lip-sync ballet at the Platinum Party At The Palace? Mike, the segue king, struggles to believe it, and is currently self-medicating with Martian breakfast, canned angelic shimmer, and glittery sprinkles on every technological unicorn. If you'd like to listen to Mike's in-depth review of Sound Theory's Gullfoss plug-in, complete with a variety of illustrative audio examples, then check out this free-to-listen episode of the Cambridge-MT Patrons Podcast: https://www.patreon.com/posts/cambridge-mt-27623076 Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Inspired by Vidal Sasson, this month's episode is full of sparkletubes, slideyfarts, bashable barcodes, exploding headpumps, and many other unskeptical noisies. MIT are back to their old tricks, playing keepy-uppy in zero G with their dodecahedral space shaker. But they're no match for Jon, singing Kylie Minogue on a War Horse to the accompaniment of chimes that go 'thunk', or Mike dancing with his shoelace amidst a barrage of MIDI boiled eggs. Also, there's a bunch of grumbling Dads riding their pickup moped on a quest for bespoke pencil erasers, while also bringing Pringle Pringles to a shark-tamer in Mozambique. All in a day's work for anyone with a Jackson Pollock career trajectory. Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Recorded from tea-cup perspective for maximum authenticity, this episode explains how to get from Douglas Adams to Terry Pratchet (via Brian Wilson) in a sleepy country voice. Jon, as befits a member of his multi-award-winning community, has been filling numerous creative roles: convicted pirate; amateur organ salesman; inadvertently fraudulent (but unfireable) accountant; and inverse Lazarus, smiting the unworthy asunder. So how come his SM58 died of shame? Mike, on the other hand has been installing the latest in New Age musical-box security while extolling the virtues of choral child labour, Bela Fleck's musical chicken, and agent-swap Bumble. In Alanis Morissette's happy village, meanwhile, we witness the shocking abuse of some herringbone origami by a bunch of Tony Bennetts wielding slowly wilting flowers, and learn how best to display 15 Grammies. So leave your vintage paperweights behind, honeychild, and join us as we build a compost heap to the accompaniment of 'Leave The Montero Open'. Those about to be drunk, we salute you! Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

This month, a densely-woven Jon's been struggling to keep his mind out of the gutter by smearing a microphone thinly over the top of a modest vape rig and pushin a pre-1994 Barbie doll into a red cabbage, while serving borscht to a red-headed widow. Mike, though, has officially been busier than him, scribbling a 10-year callback on manuscript at 3am and shouting 'Number!' at other podcasters in a hell of his own making. Nevertheless, he's found time to brush aside Will Smith's slap (despite living under a Rock) and consider this year's Oscar-nominated songs. We hear about Billie Eilish trying not to suck. Van Morrison's car-horn brass and BV shred-concealment. A drone-dodging Reba McEntire losing her precariously balanced hat. And Beyonce leaving her ornamental trombonists unpainted for want of a euphoniumist's chair. In other news, we channel George Massenburg through the Tamagotchi recorder to capture the finest one-dimensional voltage wobbles, and (once we've recovered from our pre-shawm flinch) hear a swanee saxophonist making bubblegum instrumentalists sound like skill minnows. All in all, it's an intense emotional struggle with a fretless foghorn on a slightly elevated sofa. To hear Jon's latest single 'Lie To Me', head over to https://linktr.ee/whittenand_ And you can find Mike's super-grammatical tuning video at https://www.patreon.com/posts/61727565 Thanks to Benn Jordan and Daniel Vaczi for allowing me to use the glissotar demonstration featured in this episode. Check out Benn's youtube channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCshObcm-nLhbu8MY50EZ5Ng and Daniel's incredible performances with the Glissonic Trio at https://danielvaczi.bandcamp.com Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Jon, the King Of Kittenz, is back in the Land Of Hope And Corbyn, and working surprisingly hard on an Ode To Sinusitis with his electrotango sitar and 50 guitars in unison. Kelly Clarkson's lending a hand with her virtuoso banjo, and Bready Mercury is managing the toothbrush orchestration. (It's no Kind Of Bloop, though -- for that you'd need a screamo ceilidh caller in a Hert locker.) Mike, Ninja Of Kilobits, is helping out too, setting aside his political ambitions to wield Chekhov's gun against the anti-Donda, while Lin Manuel The Frog adds maximum authenticity by chipmunking his own brainwaves. There are other low-hanging vegetables as well, including a 30-second Dark Side Of The Moon from the Device Orchestra and our desert-island luxury of celestial toast. If that's not poetic justice, then try whipping someone with a bamboo wing -- and if they feel blue, remind them that Animal is red. See how we waft it back and forth! Check out Jon's very own music project "Whitten And" on Instagram and TikTok! https://www.instagram.com/whittenand_/ https://www.tiktok.com/@whittenand_/ ...and you can also get tickets to his show The Wicker Husband at Newbury's Watermill Theatre here: https://www.watermill.org.uk/wicker_husband Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

It's another star-studded Grammy Awards extravaganza, with DJs of all stripes, a suavely bearded Jon spreading his rebar wings, a grizzled Mike slapping himself in the face with American cheese, and a surreptitious Nirvana catfish. Hosier surmounts Olivia Rodrigo's parapet with Disney attitude to resist the rise of The Abbanator. Anderson Paak's been feeding salt-and-vinegar crisps to Bruno Mars from Lady Gaga's poisoned chalice, although Jon Batiste decided to stick with his gourmet salad. Alicia Keys and Brandi Carlile are displaying zero-content conviction for Lil Nas X, as he backs a losing horse down Old Town Road. Meanwhile, Ed Sheeran & David Guetta compare stolen harmonies with the bare-faced cheek of Eilish fatigue. And, at his subversively religious home-arranger keyboard, the Right Honorable Justice Bieber is playing Swiftie's ode to toenail-clipping, while WYSIWYG Doja joins the unfairly non-new Finneas to watch Kid Laroi stirring HER's glossy snow globe with his wooden spoon. Check out Jon's very own music project "Whitten And" on Instagram and TikTok! https://www.instagram.com/whittenand_/ https://www.tiktok.com/@whittenand_/ ...and you can also get tickets to his show The Wicker Husband at Newbury's Watermill Theatre here: https://www.watermill.org.uk/wicker_husband Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Jump into the PSTB DeLorean, plug in 1kW of guitar pedals, and let's go for a star-studded ride! See Tina Turner, Mick Hucknall, and the drummer from Eastenders clamouring to jump into Puff Daddy's EDM sausage machine. Hear Hawkeye's Imagine Dragons impression, Captain Marvel's Magic Of Pegasus, and Shatner Claus's Gilbert & Sullivan chillout. There's plenty of action fodder too, with Bruce Willis, Mr T, and Vin Diesel all throwing digeridoo shade. Not to be outdone, Jon's been soft-shoe tap-dancing with a pedometer, as well as playing the moray-eel trombone with hundreds of snorkelling mimes. Mike, on the other hand, has endured a tantric single that's left him screaming piano-recording examples in his sleep. Let's hope that he still makes the proto-Twitter Scroll of Honour before he falls on his own wine-pistol... Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected]. Check out Jon's very own music project "Whitten And" on Instagram and TikTok! https://www.instagram.com/whittenand_/ https://www.tiktok.com/@whittenand_/ ...and you can also still (only just!) get tickets to his show at The Royal Opera House with Little Bulb Theatre (called 'Wolf, Witch, Giant, Fairy') here: https://www.roh.org.uk/tickets-and-events/wolf-witch-giant-fairy-by-little-bulb-details

Welcome to the Rebeccaverse! Yes, you read that correctly, because we're joined by the smack-talking Angel of Christmas herself for our end-of-year spectacular. As you can imagine, the excitement has caused Mike to drop his monocle in his gin and tonic, and Jon to spill his cup of beautiful Balinese angel-cat tea into the hummingbird feeder. It's a musical extravaganza too, as we sing along to 'It's Only A Pumpkin-Spice Subwoofer Moon', 'Twangles The Christmas Squid', and other meditation-metal classics, while swigging our infrabeers for the sake of Auld Lang Syne (and, by extension, Atlantis). Santa's been good to us this year, with news of jellyfish street art (with shading) and cat-related support dogs, as well as the most ripened of Christmas quizzes. In short, the paw of destiny has once more shattered the bounds of time, despite a bad case of sleighbellitis. For all things Rebecca Angel-related, head over to her website at: https://rebeccaangel.com/ Check out Jon's very own music project "Whitten And" on Instagram and TikTok! https://www.instagram.com/whittenand_/ https://www.tiktok.com/@whittenand_/ ...and you can also get tickets to his show at The Royal Opera House with Little Bulb Theatre (called 'Wolf, Witch, Giant, Fairy') here: https://www.roh.org.uk/tickets-and-events/wolf-witch-giant-fairy-by-little-bulb-details Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

The day of Truth has arrived. The day of Justice. The day of Friday. But, even more importantly, it's launch day for Jon Whitten's first ever single under his own name! Yay! The song's called 'How To Make A Mirror', and features, as you'd hope, a herd of harmonising Whittens and the kind of dulcimer playing that only our very own Jon could have shaken a stick at. So what are you waiting for?! Tarry no longer, but head over without delay to the following link and treat your grateful ears to a listen! https://bit.ly/whittenand

We told you all about Jon Whitten's single release tomorrow, but did you actually go to https://bit.ly/whittenand and immediately follow all his socials in feverish anticipation of the song's arrival? Deary, deary me. Well, don't say I didn't warn you...

Casting the veil of anonymity boldly aside, our very own Jon Whitten will be releasing his first ever music under his own name on November 19th -- ie. in just a couple of days' time! It would help him enormously if you could immediately check out and (whisper it!) even follow his social media accounts to stay up to date with the launch. There's steak and potatoes (a capella) to be had. And some Flamenco wrestling too, as you'd expect... You can find all the links here! https://bit.ly/whittenand

It's another episode stuffed with carefully curated nothing, beneath a comforting veneer of adventure, polished with insanity. Creativity meets the laws of physics with a bump, as Jon trains himself to fall over convincingly in thigh-high leather heels. But that's nothing to Mike's suspicious heatsink-related injuries, which have left him dreaming of magic gofers and a self-emptying plastic volcano. (Serves him right for bringing a rifle mic to an karmic blunderbuss party.) In the wings, The Empress purses her lips like the diva she is, before moving the Archdeacon to tears with Chaucerian English. So pull up a candelabra, pour yourself a refreshing glass of sauerkraut juice, and relax to the sound of grimier-than-thou Luchadors, a purring cheetah, and Morris Minors masquerading as Corvettes. Check out Jon's very own music project "Whitten And" on Instagram and TikTok! https://www.instagram.com/whittenand_/ https://www.tiktok.com/@whittenand_/ ...and you can also get tickets to his show at The Royal Opera House with Little Bulb Theatre (called 'Wolf, Witch, Giant, Fairy') here: https://www.roh.org.uk/tickets-and-events/wolf-witch-giant-fairy-by-little-bulb-details Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Despite claiming this whole episode against tax, your intrepid hosts search once more for the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Jon has been chuntering joyously through all the most important notes, despite abuse from his non-bandleader. Even with ravaged thumb joints, though, he's still been chasing headphone-clad cows with his Super Soaker and creating the most offensive video he's seen all year. Meanwhile, Mike has been finger-tutting in the original Javanese, and having the time of his life with happy-clappy backing vocals and a librarian nose-flautist. There's plenty of exciting news to share too, featuring Nirvana's grown-up baby, Switzerland's erstwhile Granstein, and the astounding freeloading of Bing Kerching. But now that RebeccaAngel.net has answered our prayers, will RebeccaAngel.com? Find out in the latest instalment of 'The Quirkening'... Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

We're back again with a full two watts of pure podcasting power and a shirt full of double-necked electric guitars! Our indoor cat Jon has been busy scaling 30-metre mountains, painting an SM58 like a spy pencil, and making a mic out of a hula hoop. Meanwhile, Mike parts the kimono to reveal the single organ he's been relying on for employment, but (to give discredit where's discredit's due) you have to admire his kitten-perspective cooking blog's Spidey Sense. There's plenty to learn this episode too. How to pull more emotion out of a lampshade. How to get 90% worse at eating silent toasted pitta. How to make lollipops look like trees. And how to reach Zen convergence between calming highlighters and a paradoxically expensive ukulele. Plus, don't miss a guest appearance by the very unhippy Mr & Mrs Clipboard, reminding us all to check the big text again. Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

As our podcast slips on its Gucci (or is it Prada?) loafers and slides into sloppy middle age, it's time to brew some hot water, suck on a teabag, and ask 'What is a wall?' in a Swedish accent. Jon's been suffering the effects of jitter and bitcrushing, while learning to fail inconspicuously at impromptu outreach. Mike valiantly resists innuendo to report on chocolate acrobatics, whole-body shivers, and a floppy screw, as well as bringing us another banger from Presto Public Relations. (It's about tone and beauty. And Clarkson overwhelm. And an Abbey Road cliché like no other.) That's not all, though, because there's also the tremendous craft of White Woman's Instagram, a pair of 60s space aliens, and some surefire noob tests. So remember: if life gives you lemons, then claim you were going for lemons in the first place! You can catch the latest show Jon's been working on (called 'Candide, or Optimism At All Costs') at Cambridge's Robinson Theatre until Saturday September 7th: https://www.babolintheatre.com/candide.html Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

The Mike & Jon Of Yestermonth valiantly tread water while present-day Mike & Jon pull their finger out and finally find a time they can both record a full episode. Consider it a kind of meta-facepalm... Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Amidst the chocolate-brown upholstery of the PSTB studio, Jon has been using his tennis racquet to bake pizza, while Mike does his best zebra-finch impressions -- albeit with occasional distractions from Monkey Nuts & Wizzo and the *other* Montero. Via pioneering brain-controlled resynthesis, we also bring you R2-D2's internal monologue, aka the musical thought crimes of an early-2000s scratch DJ. But if you're bored of modelling Hans Zimmer's pedal creak, then it's time to welcome some hair-raising Bulgarian women into your life. Or, after a brief star-wipe transition, you could follow Rick Wakeman somersaulting his piano through some flapping saloon doors with both oomph and control. Abandon hope all ye who enter here! To listen to this month's Jam, check out Mike's special Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3htQOy4yS1lMwbPX3gnQfF For details of Jon's pop-up shows with Little Bulb Theatre in Covent Garden on 9th, 10th, and 11th September, keep an eye on their website here: https://www.littlebulbtheatre.com/dates Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Welcome to the Murder Booth! From his shallow grave, a fully organic Jon has been braving slugs and worms to bring you his best mycelium impression, with a penitential side-order of Kentucky-fried Huapango. Meanwhile, Mike's gone full Karate Kid in a world of Don LaFontaine's chewy syllables, while slapping himself with his own gauntlet and pinch-zooming a perspex shield. They're not alone either: MIT's finest have been playing 'Mary Had A Little Lamb' on an off-piste DX7 and expressing amino acids through the medium of uncooked spaghetti. Even the colour-balance-proof spiders have been scuba-diving, paragliding, and jamming along. And in case you wanted to experience those quotes from Professor Buehler in their original context, here are links to those interviews: https://www.lx.com/science-tech/researchers-have-turned-spider-webs-into-music-is-talking-to-them-next/35969/ https://news.mit.edu/2020/qa-markus-buehler-setting-coronavirus-and-ai-inspired-proteins-to-music-0402 Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

This month's episode sees your effervescent hosts comprehensively outmanoeuvred by the mastery of Rotcod Zzaj. Having lost any claim to irony, Jon uncrumples his cummerbund and dons a rubber suit to discuss X-rated puppet escapades, the world's second-richest musician, and the Broadway-Disney Silk Road. Mike, on the other hand, has been stitching himself up like a kipper with four Harry Potters, while investigating the lobotomised Trapp family and persisting in romantic notions of vile retirement consorts. Also, in the ultimate hipster flex, we throw faux-Italian solfeggio to the wolves, seeing as it's so poorly suited for verbal communication next to loud drums. Humans are weird. (And if you want to check out The Mix Review's 10th Anniversary Retrospective, head over to https://www.cambridge-mt.com/tmr10 ) Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Once again, your visibly more radiant hosts are abusing their enormous media power by pandering to viola players and financially exploiting ever younger artists. Jon's lost his child-like innocence amidst an apathetic Eyes Half Shut orgy, playing Skelecaster solos over a bed of foetal synths. Mike's been riding The Circle Of Death to deter any proto-Eilish from starting a podcast while ruining his QWERTY keyboard with superhumanly amateur toast Foley. There's celebrity coverage too, featuring Kanye West's bingo card, Jacob Collier's toothbrush, and Renee Zellweger. (Really?!) And in the imaginary world of THX Zelda, 'tis but a small step from barely audible drones to New Age. But where does Vangelis get all the pregnant women from? (If you'd like to check out Mike's new online course, Mix Magician's Toolkit, head over to https://www.cambridge-mt.com/magic ) Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Your offensively second-talented hosts have been rejoicing in an Energy Quotient rating of 4.97 this month, while clearing the very lowest bar of brass-necked press relations with a dizzyingly sanitised Tower Of Power and some mysterious guitar noodlimen. Returning from his busman's holiday aboard the Bisto awards gravy-train, Mike's been a fresh whirlwind of self-destructive thought-crimes, performing his artisanal lead-time lament to the accompaniment of sweaty, loincloth-clad Taiko drummers and the world's slowest kick line. Jon's also been breaking the ice with fully sustainable Foley alternatives, while delivering one-finger churn via pre-boxed ghost-note pot pourri and audio umami. Plus, they've both been competing with The Alien Guitar Womb Hive Mind to smoosh the world's biggest bubble, slam-dunk multiple tubas, and translate 'croissant' into English. As voids go, it's 100% presentation and 0% noise, give or take an extended nautical metaphor. (If you like the audio snippets in this month's episode, check out Dorothea Wessel's latest tracks at https://dorotheawessel.com/) Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

It's been a long lockdown. A hatless Jon has been frightening timid voles while baking up Chekhov-grade disaster on his Fisher Price Singalong Radio. Mike has, amongst other lightly qualified successes, been fixing the cat with his soldering iron, as well as tumbling the walls of Jericho with pastoral platitudes and the sharpest of punctuation marks. So, in an emergency violation of quarantine rules, several members of the broad Church of Be-Bop Botherers join us to help liven up proceedings. A moderately Klingon Anderson Paak plays us both the dynamics of his shawm. Geoffrey Apple and Mark Google duet in Swedish accents about the romance of polyphonic pitch-shifting. A synthetic Tom Waits goes bonkers with dubstep rectangles. And Coco Chanel weighs in on The Great Tissue Controversy. Plus there are tough questions to be answered. How do you not solve a problem like Mitski? Is it possible to repair a glass countertenor? And, most importantly of all: you can do that?! Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Following a suitably down-home Christmas, your intrepid hosts battle Spotify fatigue to huddle round the PSTB dartboard for a Grammy nominations special! Mike has officially melted, and is now tearfully hoovering around the wet-ass elephant in the room. Jon, with his usual grammatical pedantry, has been chewing on pulled pork in the tidy mess of Haim's two-car garage and wishing that Chris Martin were swearing at Jacob Collier. Neither of them can deny the cultural impact of 'Moo', however, or the healing power of kittens, even while Shawn Everett and Gary Paczosa slug it out in a Best Engineering death-match. And if you get peckish, why not tuck into our festive facepalm buffet? There's some surprisingly toothsome mobile-phone multimiking, our infamous Icelandic toast, and all the vocal-recording mistakes you can eat! If you'd like to hear our free bonus Grammy segment (discussing Best Melodic Rap Performance, Best Improvised Jazz Solo, Best Arrangement -- Instrumental or A Capella, and Best Bluegrass Album), you can find it in our public Patreon feed here: https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak/posts Many thanks to Ellie McDowall for letting us use some snippets of her excellent Field Recordings podcast (https://fieldrecordings.xyz) in this episode. Thanks also to the engineers responsible for the wonderful recordings: Jon Tjhia, Hana Walker-Brown, Philip Revell, Vladimir Kryuchev, Sami El-Enany, Tom Rosenthal, Daria Corrias, Hannah Dean, and especially Andrea Rangecroft! Fancy more of our nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Finally available in hardback, this month's festive episode promises gingerbread Foley and a Warlock's drinking anthem. Due to lack of demand for their eulogy-writing services, your intrepid Master Breakers have decamped to a Scottish space ghetto to investigate Saint Dolly, a duckfaced Norah Jones, and Percy Jackson's epicly burnt Scotch egg. And why Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, and Johnny Cash have all evolved just like hummingbird moths. Jon's been impersonating Rocky Balboa with hipster faireez in the merchtabulous PSTB kitchen, working hard to put fresh puns in the oven and incredibly consistent pans on the hob. Meanwhile, Mike's been distracted from Cirque Du Soleil by Whitney Houston's 'I's, Dermot Kennedy's 'R's, various gendered diphthongs, and the Elvis schwa. Can they all stay on the white notes and avoid going toe to toe with spandex-clad Super Moderators? (Oh ye of little faith in the inexplicable success of minor talent...) Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak and check out the merch store at https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com/merch For more episodes, as well as links relating to each one (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Welcome to your favourite ever PSTB episode! Jon, the accidental clothes horse, is emerging in a blizzard of metaphors from his hectic program of theatrical wrestling, all-night business drinking, and making bagpipes even more hellish. His intern Mike, broadcasting from the Millennium Falcon, has been juicing his own apples, irradiating problematically heteronormative alligators, and hammering himself in the face with a pair of HD650s. Top of the agenda this month is the sound of electric cars, with Hans Zimmer's whizzy space cowbell, Batman's audio Barberpole, and French art-house archetypes all straining attention spans in the BMW boardroom. Also up for discussion are Palestrina parties, the future of rock soundscaping, formantless anurans, cheek shrubbery, and the Zoom H4N (the professional's choice for capturing lo-res heliox-huffing). Who needs biting political commentary, when you've got a swing in your kerchunk? Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. Or get in touch by email at [email protected].

Who better to lead you through today's post-truth apocalypse than two renowned purveyors of nonsense? Mike, that blessed innocent, has been blithely investigating the Philuminati at Milton Keynes Henge, and their shadowy links with the Cadbury gorilla's magic break. Tracing the sinister web to the balmy tropics of Walter Mitty's secret Iceland, he's been stubbing his toe and screaming at waterfalls Pansori-style while marvelling at The Biebster's ecological trail of destruction. In the meantime, Jon's been learning some blindingly obvious archeoacoustics from Ozzy's anechoic bat-trap, as well as doing ASMR cheese-grating with the anti-Kenny-G. After a hard day's international punditry, however, it's time to relax with a secret nostril-based gig for our new band, Fluffy Gauze Of Noise, in the never-ending quest for cult-like status. (No AutoTune was used in the making of this podcast. Just orange juice with the bits left in.) Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. And if you'd like to submit an entry to our Q Tombstone Epitaph Competition, or suggest merch ideas, then email [email protected].

In a spirit of RIPQ, this month we ask: who the hell do Mike & Jon think they are? Do they really expect us to believe they've just been swimming in cottage cheese doing guppy impressions for weeks? What about the rumours of equine stampedes, otter wave-machines, and biological lava lamps? What about the nauseatingly real sense-memories of proto-sub-SubKick, or the crowds of one-fact wonders helping Franz Ferdinand's bassist tie his tie? It all adds up to random squared. Not that this episode has no redeeming features: there's pioneering electronic wholemeal toast, the most ungoogleable show ever, an eerily calm spin cycle, and Donmar's antidote to cubicle nostalgia. But beware the onanistic yodelling of The Worst Record In The World, which may cause you to inflict double damage on your speakers with a pencil. And don't you dare call us offensively inoffensive, or we'll throw you out of Costa's! Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. And if you'd like to submit an entry to our Q Tombstone Epitaph Competition, or suggest merch ideas, then email [email protected].

It's a flora and fauna special this month, so boil your mix-referencing kettle as PSTB's octogenarian park rangers play guitar to budgies at elevated sample rates, expose non-flamingos to Caravaggio, and politely ask small shrubs to switch off their blackberries. Mike, freshly unmasked as Martin Green of Venezuela, has been pwning Tiktok's algorithms in four-part harmony using the immense untapped potential of floppy-haired teenage angst. Jon, on the other hand, has registered a likeability rating of 1.237 microBiebers by beatboxing execrable brown noise like a ninja virtuoso from the passive-aggressive abyss. Yet they've still found time to answer some more of those deep philosophical questions. Can spot mics get spottier? Is Alex Bainter a shadow of the ideal platonic sausage? And might bass fire-hose be the ideal aesthetic palate-cleanser for a djembe that's eaten everything? To catch Jon's performance in Babolin Theatre's lockdown-friendly production 'Bubu Killer King' (premiering July 31st), head over to https://babolintheatre.weebly.com!  Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com. And if you'd like to follow the on-going TikTok feud, Jon's @pstbtiks and Mike's @pstbtoks.

Despite the cosy domestic scene here at PSTB headquarters, baking scones and sharing long involved stories about the British monarchy, there have been rumours of sedition in the ranks of #TeamNik on account of the artist formerly known as Einaudi. Nothing can keep Jon from the ongoing influencer battle, however, putting up his own musical carpet underlay against Mike's 30-year-old VHS instructional-video underscore. Plenty of other musical curios abound too: San Francisco's bridgeolian harpjo, some plausibly deniable Stravinsky and Bernstein quotations, and the joy of shouting "Encore!" when 840 repetitions just aren't quite enough. Even lower lowlights include a scroll full of joyful starfish, a nuclear kerchief, Joe DeGeorge's ruined MIDI keyboard, and the unmistakeable sound of falling Durex. Et tu, Nik? (Oh, and if you'd like to follow our on-going TikTok challenge, Jon's @pstbtiks and Mike's @pstbtoks. Go teams!) Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com

It's a worrying time for your two intrepid tea-breakers. Mike's battling his Eurovision withdrawal symptoms by composing aleatorically with a dandelion, while precariously balancing a small bowl of kibbles. John's doing battle with a Sarlaac drum machine, underscoring the Queen's life with Korn, and whacking the 'make it bigger' button. Still, they're both knuckling down once more to investigate all the month's most pressing project-studio matters. For instance, it appears Ed Milliband may have been computer generated by training neural networks with Dutch folk music, Reddit threads, and Tasmanian Devil sounds. There's news too of Simon Cowell's shock-collar, manufactured by Jacob Marley Music Services to inspire late-flowering artistic integrity. Plus we extol the dramatic tension, cognitive dissonance, and passive-aggressive guitar solos of Andy Shauf, as well as unearthing the deep connections between podcasting split-personality disorder and the SOS hand-shot face. Yeah, verily, the Internet giveth, and the Internet taketh away... (Oh, and if you'd like to follow our on-going TikTok challenge, Jon's @pstbtiks and Mike's @pstbtoks. Go teams!) Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com

It's mayhem in this month's crisis edition! Mike's singing at gerbil-threatening volumes while pioneering rehooker Maxo's 8-bit funk is exploding his brain. Jon's hamstering drum-sticks, training a rock-and-roll chicken, and spreading jam on ducks. Laura Marling's refusing to wash her baritone ukelele ever again. Neil Young's in a photo booth with a sleeping dog. Meduza and Einaudi are both suing themselves. King Louis XIV's inciting theatrical arson and (even worse!) mime. The Wolf of the tenor section is investigating the acoustic properties of airborne jacuzzis and the pentatonic drivel of icebergs. Is it too late to fix Gal Gadot's 'Imagine'? Will our PSTB TikTok challenge end in tears? And, most crucially, is there anything gaffer tape can't do? (Oh, and if you'd like to follow our TikTok challenge, Jon's @pstbtiks and Mike's @pstbtoks. Go teams!) Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com

This month we challenge all you podfasters to brave our break-neck pace, as a puddlish Jon (or is it Geraldine eating crackers?) and the hollow shell of Mike reveal good news for the serious, intellectual thumpsy-thumpsy listener -- or anyone else directing their Marmite sneer at the weaponisation of Classic FM. Jon is dedicating his restocked facepalm bouquet to new best friend Rob, and doing a manual Iron Man at the intersection between acrobatics and too many percussion sticks. Mike's been treated like conservatively dressed cattle at auction, but consoles himself with the joyful noise of Adam Neely, Katy Perry, and their copyright ouroboros. Past, present, and future Jon explains his bullet-proof backup system, as well as the beauty of fastidious randomisation, all the while wearing an end-of-X-Files face. Plus there's a Madonna mic, an unwrenchlike daughter, and some extremely inconvenient pop-up ads. Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com

It's awards season this month at the NAMM show, where we're doling out those coveted PSTB gongs for Silly Name, 3D Poster, Dusty Controls, and (of course) Straight To Landfill! Veteran spam-wrangler Jon has been navigating impending Abmeldung from his throne of radical leftist literature, as well as waxing lyrical about nasty nonsense and twiddling his hand-forged toasting fork. Self-styled ball of smug Mike has been watching Thunderfinger Royale and Groundhog's Eve while suffering a Friday-sus-Wednesday and channelling the spirit of Tom Waits (as best a viola-playing tenor can). Hot topics this month include how to become a non-teen teen-pop sensation, what's so tragic about the trailer for Trolls World Tour, why it takes an idiot to know one, and where to bury the banjiola abomination. All accompanied by the dulcet tones of sneezing gnomes and flatulent drainpipes. Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com

As we head further into the official Year Of The Echo, we capture the cinematic Zeitgeist by sneaking through doors, picking up swords, and filling our cup of feline schadenfreude to the brim with grisly apolcalyptic visions of the Uncanny Valley. Blacksmith to the stars Jon Whitten warns of the dangers of hubris-powered Luthierism, while ruining his co-host with The Curse Of Happy Village. Mike fights back with electric-guitar birthday cards, sample-library parlour games, and multiple Mary Poppins references. Gene Pitney makes an appearance too, providing an object lesson in the importance of lyrical context (and teetering just one consonant from catastrophe). Plus, we're cherry-picking our favourite careers advice, including such gems as 'The man who pays the bill is God', and 'Never, ever, change your phone number". All in all, it's another episode packed full of loquacious cross-stitch, yellow snow, and scraps of Lin-Manuel Miranda. Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com

On this month's virtual C60 we celebrate the 40th anniversary of the Walkman, as well as Sony's recent assault on the retro Goldilocks Zone. Mike, our human Frappuccino, has been airbrushing his own facepalms and rejoicing in the exquisite URL innuendos of Mole Station Nursery and Pen Island. Jon has drained his choir chalice, emboldening him to resist the thrall of ker-chunk and deliver an anarcho-feminist roar with deep mahogany sonorities. Your hosts join forces to investigate earworm antigens, delving into all the most crucial issues: Does Justin Bieber have plausible deniability? Is it ethical to expose human subjects to David Guetta and Maroon 5? And can you really Chew Yourself Fit? And there are plenty of other New Year's goodies besides, including Toastzilla, the Royal Prefix, and Caroline Shaw's 'The Joy Of Theft'. Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com

In this special festive edition, we settle down with a sackful of Maltesers, a bottle of Bublé's Irish Cream, and an emergency spatula to survey the best and worst of Christmas singlage. In-house feline support specialist Mike reveals that all Mariah Carey wants for Christmas is Jah, and also waxes non-lyrical about Selena Gomez's finest hour. Meanwhile, rhythm-murderer Jon discusses synth tax rebates, as well as raising the sons of earth with a rousing 'Hark the HAIR!' In other news, Jon's prophetic spirit animal flashes its boxers (although sadly without polka dots), and Softube deftly apply The Sucker Punch Of Derision in defence of their new fader bank's failure to go up to 11. Support the Sleighbell Tax! Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out http://www.projectstudioteabreak.com

Bellingstropp-Smythe & Sons proudly present this month's Oolong Hour, replete with snug-verbing, potty-mouthed sponsors, sensual mastication, and goodly chunks of papier-mâché. John (aka The Salieri Of Puppets) betrays his 18- and 25-year-old selves by using the creepily long arms of the fishy fishy fish man to dragoon fresh talent. Mike reveals the linguistic thread connecting Niall Horan, Susan Boyle, and The Four-letter Count, while marvelling at the electrotom excesses of The RAH Band. Neither of your hosts is even slightly whelmed by an Airfix synth that's customisable, except in any way you'd actually want to customise it. Nevertheless, they rally together to help an electronic musician survive The Old Lady Tribunal using virtuoso electricity and the Bavarian Ophicleide Festival. But is it something you can whistle? Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com

The Master Breakers return refreshed and alert from their summer travels with fresh crisp-packet metaphors and an unhealthy Madonna fixation. Jon's been gate-crashing perfume adverts at The Royal Opera House with his close personal friend Salvador Dali, as well as pioneering the concept of whistlestop touring without the whistles or stops. Mike's been blurring the line between computers and footballs, but still has the pleasure of introducing the Cathedral Of Binaural Toast Foley, Scaramanga's axe, Working Class Audio, and two goblins. And if that's not enough to rescue you from the Milton Keynes of Despond (or a debilitating attack of Trap, Dogcart, and Brougham), try our masterclasses in faint praise and unrappabilityto! Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com

It's a holiday facepalm special this month, with Mike destroying his means of production and co-hosting with a sock puppet. Meanwhile, Jon has tracked down the elusive Miss T for an in-depth discussion of gravy. There's a challenge for all you Foley connoisseurs too: our first ever 'Spot The Toast' quiz! And, of course, everything sounds better with audio bacon... Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak For more episodes and links relating to each episode (via our zero-spam but 100-percent-idiocy mailing list), check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com

This month it's a Superbooth special, with intense dubstep typing, motivational sawtooth waves, and a bag of smashed crabs that's blown the lid off Indiegogo. In other news, the Dark Prince Of Crochet (aka Jon) has been shouting into a recycle bin, building up his resistance to haggis, and operating machinery in a baggy PVC suit. Mike reminisces about recording cheese straws, stereo hoovering, and asynchronous bunny-hops. Meanwhile, at the Cross-cultural Variety Show we have acoustic pub-funk, flying raffle tickets, and a sternly worded sit-in. Plus, there's shiny piano and reverse hallelujahs from Kirk Franklin, and our first ever guest entrant to the Toast Foley Hall Of Fame. And let's not forget these hard-won pearls of wisdom: "As long as there's Cajon, it's acoustic" and "Delude in the nude!"  Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at https://www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak To listen to all previous episodes, check out https://www.projectstudioteabreak.com

It's no holds barred this month as Leo Tolstoy and Jean-Jacques Nattiez square up in a musical version of Celebrity Deathmatch. Meanwhile, your intrepid Master Breakers consider displaying their Hobbit feet in glorious HD and commiserate over shared tonsorial option-paralysis. Mike's career as a kazoo virtuoso goes from strength to strength, which is fortunate given how he's been facepalming himself out of work over the phone. On the hunt for sexy plays, Jon's in the Batcave with lots of eyeliner and bits of old submarines, working out how to get those bits of carrot from between his teeth. And don't miss our first truly organic product endorsement, as well as incontrovertible proof of your hosts' idiocy. All hail the King of Fuh!   Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak

Armed with their best picardy thirds, the guys start up their viral factory once again with heavy-metal kitten videos and Chewbacca singing Nessun Dorma. There's exciting news too of dubstep's karmic pest-control properties, 19th-century composers' beards, and Mike's first world-record attempt. Jon brings us a box-fresh facepalm with guaranteed 100 percent shame, while Mike (aka Mäik) hoovers the inside of his piano in the aftermath of our first ever sponsored toast Foley. More crucial production questions are also laid to rest: What's your favourite note? What's the musical equivalent of mildew, sherbet, guacamole, or beef jerky? And how can I turn funk into music in one easy step? Yes, all that, and it'll still probably get fewer Guardian column inches than ten tracks of silence...   Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak

Heading into festival season, your intrepid crowdsurfers park their inflatable car so that Jon can wreak quiz-based revenge and explain the origin of the 'f*** you' delay. Speaking of Bangface, Mike treats his co-host to a Grommit-grade tale of thoroughly British Palmfacing, and extols the virtues of oxtail filtering. Meanwhile, Jon sacrifices his browser history to the gods of multi-instrumentalism in order to salvage the European Project, while singing through his harmonikazoo. Plus, Billie Eilish embodies the true Zen of Toast, restoring Mike's faith in great art and personal smugness. Oh, and if you see Britney, tell her we're looking for Amy... Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak

Defying ancient Mayan prophecies of the apocalypse, your intrepid Master Breakers explain how to raise 40 grand in three quarters of an hour, while making 40 percent of a joke about The Danish String Quartet. Google's prog-rock Bach emulator is tested to destruction, with plenty of gory details about Count Duckula's death by cookies, Mike's Frankenmix monster, and Jon's anti-Vatican orgy. Plus, we reveal how gourmet risotto and Angry Birds can help banish bouts of freelance lethargy, and Jon delivers a brief masterclass on bunraku puppet twerking. All to the accompaniment of a nightmarish wobble-board/plate-reverb hybrid (with snares on) and a 1000-person samba band half a mile away. Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast at www.patreon.com/projectstudioteabreak

For this month's episode your intrepid Project Studio procrastinators cut like a knife through their favourite lyrical cliches, plan a Syllabist poetry slam, and resist the urge to shout 'Hey' while drinking moonshine under a harvest moon. Errol the Chipmunk is sorely provoked by discussions of nonconsensual Bowie abuse, swirling styrofoam snowstorms, and John Cage's evil twin. (Don't worry -- it's all in the name of sound art.) There's magic too, as Mike explains how to transform a stampeding herd of wildebeest into a touch-typing convention, and how to squeeze all his guitar knowledge onto the back of plectrum with the help of The 100k Per Foot Rule. Meanwhile, Jon boards his sponsored speedboat to reveal the single worst score he's ever received, and explains how to deal with the Good Will Hunting of dulcimerists. Suffice to say that not all his tea goes down the right way...   Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast on Patreon!

This month, Mike succumbs to Brexit-fever and receives entirely unnecessary divine assistance in looking foolish. Meanwhile, Jon skips through fields of daisies with his new robot roadie, stuffs his shoes with his own flamboyant boxer shorts, and explains how to score top marks in Ambient Wishy-Washy. Despite exciting new developments in the Einaudi Grudge Match, our two hosts nonetheless manage to set aside their differences for long enough to discuss their favourite song key-changes, Chuck Berry's pigmy elephants, and how three men and a Clavinova have paid homage to the 5th Marquis of Anglesey and his crystal sword. (Tonight.)   Fancy more of this nonsense? Then please support the podcast on Patreon!