Reginald, by Saki

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‘… he proceeded with violent haste to extricate himself partially and the mouse entirely from the surrounding casings of tweed and half-wool.’

‘“We can’t wait indefinitely for one of the children to take after a doubtfully depraved great aunt.”’

‘To be beyond reproach was one thing, but it would have been nicer to have been nearer to the Park.’

‘Rollo faced the company with a smile that he imagined the better sort of aristocrat would have worn when mounting to the guillotine.’

‘Major Pallaby was a victim of circumstances, over which he had no control, and of his temper, over which he had very little.’

‘Laploshka was one of the meanest men I have ever met, and quite one of the most entertaining.’

‘The goblin was too well bred to wink; besides, being a stone goblin, it was out of the question.’

‘“Flesh,” said the boy, and he pronounced the word with slow relish…’

“And Judkin was even as these others; the wine had been suddenly spilt from his cup of life...”

“Ali had wasted little effort on election literature, but had been heard to remark that every vote given to his opponent meant another sack thrown in the Bosporus.”

“Thus all communication between the households was sundered. Except the cats.”

“Agatha apparently has an idea that blotting-paper is only sold in small quantities to persons of known reputation, who may be trusted not to put it to dangerous or improper uses.”

“Any one who has valeted a dead Salvation Army captain in an uncertain light will appreciate the difficulty.”

“As a rule Lady Anne’s displeasure became articulate and markedly voluble after four minutes of introductory muteness.”

“I always refused to learn Russian geography at school,”; observed Reginald; “I was certain some of the names must be wrong.”

“Youth,” said the Other, “should suggest innocence.” “But never act on the suggestion.”

“She said it wasn’t Persian enough, as though I were trying to sell her a kitten whose mother had married for love rather than pedigree.”

“I privately wished that the bears would win sometimes on these occasions; at least they wouldn’t go vapouring about it afterwards.”

“Mrs. Nicorax says I have no delicacy; she hasn’t forgiven me about the mice.”

“Wolves in the first act, by Jamrach.”

“The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go she went.”

“The Duchess ate an anchovy in a shocked manner...”

“There's such a deadly sameness about partridges; when you’ve missed one you’ve missed the lot...”

“I think she must have been very strictly brought up, she’s so desperately anxious to do the wrong thing correctly.”

“The most virtuous women are not proof against damp grass.”

“I'm afraid I shall have to drop the aasvogel.”

“That is the worst of a tragedy,” he observed, “one can’t always hear oneself talk.”

“To die before being painted by Sargent is to go to heaven prematurely.”

“Unlike the alleged Good Woman of the Bible, I'm not above rubies.”

“I did it - I who should have known better...”