Retired Hack Frauds

A very late Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the Retired Hacks! Today Dani and I reunite to talk about a brand new smash hit film from Josh Safdie. Then we discuss our top 10 best and worst films we saw in 2025. Look we don’t get to make many of these specials anymore so if you don’t listen you’ll be getting a house dropped on your head.

Today feels like a career best for me and Dani as we unpack an actor we haven’t particularly liked in his “Oscar Worthy” performance. Did Benny Safdie deliver a good film despite The Rocks limited range? We also announce a big change coming to the podcasts future and where it’s going. All that and more on Retired Hacks!

The final episode for a little while. Hayden and Dani talk about the much anticipated Nobody 2, Sinners (briefly), and Weapons. Do these movies hold a candle to their hype or are they all very okay. We also discuss how the summer was as a whole for movies and our thoughts on the box office results and where studios go from here.

Dani dips her toe back into the MCU to see what all the hype is about with the new Fantastic Four. All while Hayden compares this to the other Marvel movies he’s seen this year. Another typical movie review from 2 hacks. Is this movies hype warranted? Is Marvel back for the 80th time? Did they at least do Galactus justice? Will Yoinks sue us for coming out of retirement? All that and more on today episode!

Hayden and Dani review the much anticipated James Gunn Superman movie. Is it the greatest comic book movie of the century? Is it ok? Is Cornswet a good Superman? Find out today on Retired Hacks! Also skip past the first 13 minutes if you don’t wanna hear us ramble about past Superman iterations. ALSO SPOILERS THE ENTIRE EPISODES.

The first John Wick theatrical spinoff in all its reshoots and stunt filled glory. Dani and I discuss if this spinoff is decent enough to justify the John Wick franchise continuing. Or if it’s another case of studios just trying to get the quick cash.

Dani and Hayden return for yet another retirement special. This time we discuss the highly anticipated “final” Mission Impossible movie in all its messy glory. Also Tom Cruise is saved by Ohio in this movie.

Well yet another retired hacks special (it wouldn’t let me combine it with Mickey 17 idk why) we talk about the new Looney Tunes that’s been thrown under the bus by marketing and WB. Is it worth all the hype? Idk tune in to find out

For this retirement special Dani and Hayden return to talk about the new divisive Bong Joon Ho movie that hit theaters a few weeks ago. We also discuss the current state of films coming out.

Hayden and Dani return for the last special for a while talking about the best and worst movies they saw in 2024. Unpacking the highs and lows of the year while talking about the what this could mean going into 2025.

Today Dani and Hayden complete the movie series that garnered the most success streams size (yes we’re sellouts). Is the third film in the Sonic franchise worth the hype?

After being paid to crawl out of the hole again, we return with another movie we didn’t want to see. Is Joker 2 (the title is too long bro) a worthy sequel to the original? Does the musical choices pay off? Is Todd Philips cooking? Was it worth over 2 hours of your life?

The return of everyone’s favorite yapping duo. Today we talk about the highly marketed and praised Longlegs and if it’s another of being overhyped or really good. Then we finish our obligation to TI West horror trilogy with Maxxxine.

We were both paid to come out of retirement to talk about this one (not even joking) so reluctantly here we are talking about the latest Alex Garland A24 film I guess. Spoilers throughout the entire thing if you even care.

Today Dani and I have a lengthy debate about the best movies of the year while competing in a 6 round wrestling match

Half the audio went missing in uploading but I salvaged all the meat of the convo. Anyways Dani and Hayden are back one final time to talk about this garbage!

No we are not officially back, this was just a quick lil podcast about one of the worst legacy sequels we’ve ever seen.

Welcome to the final installment of Hayden’s Entertainment Hour. Today Dani and Hayden review two movies they had very little interest in. Are these both welcome surprises? Or are they worth avoiding entirely? Hayden and Dani also will be answering your Q&A questions at the end of the episode! Thank you again for 5 amazing seasons and for all your love and support. You all mean the world to me :) TIME CODES: 0:00 Ninja Turtles, 18:09 The Meg 2, 34:29 Q&A

Today Dani and Hayden are forced between 80 years in prison, or to watch the two biggest blockbusters in theaters. After find a theater that shows both they sit down to get their reviews of Barbie and Oppenheimer. All that and more on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour! TIME CODES: 0:00 Intro, 6:43 Barbie, 33:06 OPPENHEIMER

Tonight’s program takes place in the local dungeons of Hayden’s Entertainment Hour LLC. Hayden and Fahrenheit do not exist, they are but mere fabrications. Throughout this program they review the new Wes Anderson Project, as well as Harrison Fords retirement home adventures as Indiana Jones. All that and more on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour! TIME CODES: 0:00 Asteroid City, 46:50 Indiana Jones

After uncovering that Dani has unleashed the tapes. The two decide to gear up for the police break in…but then get sidetracked and decide to review the new Spider project. Is the Spider-verse worth all its praise? Is Twitter overreacting? Is Ben Riley the best Spider-variant? All that and more on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour!

After the evil Kevin Fiege finally comes for his revenge on Dani. Dani and Hayden are trapped and forced to watch a MARVEL movie. Luckily, it’s James Gunna Guardians of the Galaxy 3! Hayden and Dani give their review of the new movie, as well as their final thoughts to the MCU as a whole.

On todays episode Dani holds Hayden at gun point and forces him to watch the newest Illumination product. This time around Illumination decided to inject the minions on the Mario franchise. A 50 minute scene in this movie is dedicated to the Minions killing all the Toads over a banana. Is this movie worth the hate? Is Chris Pratt actually good? Find out today on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour!

From the mind bending Matrix series comes the latest installment of John Wick: Matrix Resurrections. Today me and Fahrenheit discuss the latest entry of the John Wick franchise and if it’s worth all the hype of being called “the series best” of the four. So strap on your Kevlar suits, load your pistols, and pet your dog for this addition of Hayden’s Entertainment Hour!

On todays episode Hayden and Dani settle in court over the distribution rights of the podcast and who will ultimately own them. The judge decides the only way these two can dish out who gets the rights is by reviewing 2 new movies. Dani and Hayden decide to review Cocaine Bear and Scream VI in order to determine who has the better podcast takes. All that and more on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour! TIME CODES: 0:00 INTRO, 2:53 Cocaine Bear, SCREAM VI 15:58

After the repossession of the studio and being forced to move out of his parents basement. Hayden is visited by Fahrenheit who was sold bad stocks in his podcast. Angry and vengeful, Fahrenheit beats the shit out of Hayden and forces him to watch two new February movies that came out. The new M Night Shaymalan movie and Tom Brady’s vanity project. All that and more on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour!

Happy 2023! In honor of another great year of movies Fahrenheit and I look back on our Top 10 Best and Worst movies of 2022. These lists are our personal opinions and rankings about movies from 2022. Other people who contributed will have their lists read out in the podcast aswell. Now kick back, relax, and enjoy todays edition of Hayden's Entertainment Hour! 

Merry Christmas from Hayden’s Entertainment Hour! Today me and Dani deliver the gift of talking about a new Christmas classic that just hit theaters. Does David Harbour slay as Santa? Is it a cheesy horrible mess? Find out today on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour!

Today Fahrenheit and I are back to review the latest Benoit Blanc mystery. This time it involves Elon Musk and a bunch of rich people on an island with a mysterious killer. Does Rian Johnson craft a satisfying sequel? Is the mystery just as engaging as the first? Is Netflix stupid for only putting this movie in theaters for a week? All that’s more today on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour! (HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD)

The Halloween Soft Reboot trilogy finally comes to an end tonight. Laurie and Michael face off one last time to see who will survive Halloween. However, a new character is introduced that sparks controversy between me and Dani. Are these new characters good? Will Laurie girl boss away Michael? Are the kills good? Let’s see if this final installment is a satisfying sendoff on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour! ALSO HEAVY SPOILERS FOR HALLOWEEN ENDS (listen at own risk).

Today me and Fahrenheit discuss the prequel that took the world by storm. Better Call Saul has been a perfect series so far, but does the final season follow that trend? Find out as me and Fahrenheit discuss our favorite BCS Episodes, every episode of S6, and our initial interpretations and thoughts on the year jerking finale. All that and more on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour!

Finally, a movie that isn’t just superhero content! Today me and Noz talk about Jordan Peeles latest horror movie NOPE. Is this movie the Spielberg Spectacle it’s hyped up to be? Is it as deep as GET OUT or US? Will we rant about insane shit and get off topic a bunch? Find out and more on todays episode of Hayden’s Entertainment Hour!

More superhero garbage???? Can my content ever not be superhero related??? Today me and Pr0m talk about the whacky world of The Boys and how Season 3. It’s time to discuss if this show is going in the right direction or is succumbing to being like every other generic piece of superhero content. (Also yes my microphone supposedly broke for good during this podcast…so RIP my podcast mic 🥲)

Today me and Brian go over the new disastrous new Elvis biopic with the great comedy strengths of Tom Hanks. Baz Luhrman manages to make another cocaine driven feature that’ll have you wishing you brought Tylenol to cope with it. Does Austin Butler embody the king? Or feel like another Vegas impersonator? Watch as two grown men die inside as they dissect if this is somehow worse than Bohemian Rhapsody. All that and more on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour!

We could’ve talked about Top Gun Maverick, we could’ve discussed paint drying, we could’ve just had a podcast of Brian beating me up for an hour and 30 minutes. But yet here we are today reviewing the Bobs Burgers Movie……YAYAYAYAYYAYA

Today me and Fahrenheit are here to go over Everything, Everywhere, Spoiled at Once. (Yes spoiler warning). This new A24 film has hit the big screen and is making lots of noise fast. Michelle Yeoh is back to kicking ass and taking names. It’s time to dissect is it worth all of the praise? Or is it another passable A24 film? Find out today on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour!

Hayden is given some terrible news that his podcast is financially tanking. All because his owner BrianD is demanding more money than humanly possible. The only way Hayden can buy more time is reviewing the new Sonic movie. And ranting about a bad Michael Bay movie. Yea that’s it. TIME CODES: 0:00 Sonic 2, 27:16 AmbuLAnce

I’m fully convinced Sony is making this garbage to sabotage the MCU (and I kinda sorta love/hate it). Today me and Kai try to piece together what possibly went wrong with this movie. Should Jared Leto never act again? Why is it ripping off Nolan’s Batman? How is the CGI straight outve Spider-Man 3? How come Morbius is like, literally in a Papa Johns right now? Find out today about the terribleness of Morbius on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour! (Kai’s Letterboxd): https://boxd.it/ORDL

Nananananana Batman! Me and Fahrenheit are back to talk about the brand new Batman movie! Today will dive deep into if the movie is worth all the hype or simply overpraised. Will discuss Paul Dano, Robert Pattinson, Zöe Kravitz and more. And most of all will try the Little Caesars Batman Calzone. So sit back, relax, and listen to two nerds talk about The Batman.

Fuck you it’s January! The worst month for movies comes with a really bizarre choice to put out another Scream film nearly a whole decade later. So we decided to go back and review the original 4 as well as the new Scream (which isn’t called Scream 5 because idk money or something). So sit back and relax as Brian and I discuss the Scream franchise! TIME CODES: 0:00 Intro, 3:39 Scream (1996), 18:23 Scream 2, 27:57 Scream 3, 38:20 Scream 4, 44:46 Scream (2022) (or Scream 5 as it should’ve been called)

It’s the end of the year folks, time for me to reveal my lists for the good and bad I saw in 2021. In typical fashion I’ll warn it’s just my opinion and if you don’t agree with certain rankings that’s perfectly fine. So sit back, relax, and listen to me ramble about my love/hate for these movies I saw in 2021! TIME CODES: 0:00 Intro, 4:10 Top 10 Best, 32:46 Top 10 Worst, 51:15 Closing Thoughts.

When’s the last time I talked about an Indie film? Well today we’re finally going to look into a film that’s under the radar for most people. Wes Anderson’s new quirky work has hit the silver screen once again. Time for me and Fahrenheit to dissect this new film and see if it’s any good!

House Entertainment Hour is tasked with going to the movie theaters and reviewing Dune. Alongside this house stands Charls and Fahrenheit. It’s time to see if Dennis Villanueva’s adaptation of Dune is all the hype it’s cracked up to be. Or merely just overhyped pretentious arthouse schlock. All that and more on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour!

It’s Spooky Season! Brian and I are celebrating by reviewing the brand new Halloween movie that just hit theaters this weekend. Did Halloween mega-fan Brian like it? Is Michael still badass? Will we crack jokes most of the review? You’ll have to listen to find out! So sit back, relax, and sharpen your kitchen knives to this edition of Hayden’s Entertainment Hour! Also this review is all SPOILERS, so listen at your own discretion!

What? We actually got good movies to talk about for once? Me and Dalton go over A24’s brand new masterwork in The Green Knight. Then me and Charls talk about the new DCEU James Gunn movie The Suicide Squad. Do both subvert expectations? Better than 2016 Suicide Squad? Pretentious Arthouse trash? Find out on today’s Hayden’s Entertainment Hour! TIME CODES: 0:00 The Green Knight, 53:05 The Suicide Squad

Wait what??? A secret guest this episode??? Who could it be??? Today we talk about the 2019 Banana Splits horror film. Also Bob Odenkirks new action movie Nobody. Will me and this guest like both these flicks? Find out on Hayden’s Entertainment Hour! TIME CODE: 0:00 INTRO, 0:50 The Banana Splits, 30:03 Nobody

Yes it’s time to talk about the 4 hour behemoth that is Zach Snyder’s Justice League. Since it’s been heavily requested and talked about are frequently I figured I’d cash in on the hype. Is it any good? Does it improve on the terrible original Justice League? Or is it just kinda ok? Find out and more on today’s Hayden’s Entertainment Hour!

Me and Brian are back to talk about some news movies! The first is a new IPAD horror movie. The second is Blumhouses newest project with Vince Vaughan. We hope you enjoy! TIME CODES: 0:00 Come Play, 12:19 Freaky

Me and Brian gave y’all plenty of time to see TENET. Now let’s discuss the movie itself in all its glory and confusion.

Today we go over the aftermath of the 2020 Oscar’s and Parasites big wins. Then we talk about the new terrible Blumhouse movie Fantasy Island. And the new live action video game movie Sonic. TIME CODES: 0:00 Oscars Aftermath, 18:48 Fantasy Island, 40:15 Sonic The Hedgehog