Ride or Lie

This week, Shan and CoCo are keeping it real about dating then vs. now… and how much (or how little) has actually changed. From joking about sugar daddies to questioning whether spinning the block is ever worth it, the conversation takes a deeper turn into how women evolve in what they want, what they tolerate, and what they’re no longer falling for. They reflect on high school dating experiences, the types of men they used to entertain, and how maturity, self-awareness, and life responsibilities have reshaped their standards. And then there’s “Todd.” Inspired by their new micro-drama series Circles of the Ridge, they break down the classic “charmer” archetype… the smooth-talking, overly polished guy who knows exactly what to say and do. The question is: are women still falling for that? Or have we finally learned to see through it? This episode dives into: The idea of “spinning the block” and when (if ever) it makes sense Why charm alone doesn’t hit the same anymore The difference between validation vs. genuine connection How self-awareness impacts the type of partners we attract What actually matters now vs. what used to It’s funny, honest, and a little nostalgic… but ultimately about growth. Because at some point, it’s not about who looks good on paper… it’s about who actually adds value to your life. 📲 Stay Connected Join the conversation and let us know your thoughts: Instagram, Facebook, TikTok: @rideorliepodcast Email: [email protected]

Has Shan finally found the one? In this episode, Shan and CoCo are joined by Marlon, a close friend of the show, who challenges what we think we know about emotional maturity, intentionality, and modern relationships. After meeting on a dating app and ultimately choosing friendship over romance, Shan found herself experiencing something unexpected with Marlon: consistency, clarity, and the rare feeling of being genuinely seen and wanted...all the things she's been looking for in a partner...so what's the issue?! This conversation dives into: * Why so many people feel unsatisfied in relationships * The difference between being chosen vs truly being wanted * How intentionality separates real interest from excuses * The truth about poly relationships and emotional maturity Marlon shares his perspective as a man living a poly lifestyle, breaking down the difference between satisfaction and fulfillment and what it really takes to show up for the people you care about. If you’ve ever questioned why someone isn’t showing up for you… this episode might give you your answer. Connect with us:  IG/FB/TikTok: @rideorliepodcast Email: info@[email protected]

Were we ever actually taught how to date, or just how to avoid getting “messed up”? In this layered conversation, Shan and CoCo unpack how black family, culture, generational trauma, and “crisis prevention” shaped what many of us learned about love. Joined by licensed clinical social worker Miesha Rice and Atlanta dating host Vanessa, the group explores why courtship can feel foreign, how dating apps changed accountability, and what it takes to build healthier connections when nobody handed you the blueprint. What You’ll Hear in This Episode Why so many of us were taught what not to do (don’t get pregnant, don’t ruin your future) instead of how to build a healthy relationship How family history, long-term stress, and generational patterns can show up in adult dating choices The “connection vs protection” gap: what was missing from the conversations we needed A real talk breakdown of ghosting, fading out, and the lack of accountability in modern dating The “date them all” debate: keeping options open, communicating expectations, and avoiding rose-colored glasses Why singles mixers and in-person events are trending again (and what they offer that apps can’t) A powerful case for therapy early, including the idea of moderated conversations at the start of dating The Clip That Sparked the Conversation Shan brings in a viral-style perspective on how Black communities are socialized differently around dating, courtship, and “pair bonding,” than their White counterparts sparked by a video that a friend shared with her from @bunmisupreme on Instagram. The conversation expands the idea by adding emotional availability, family modeling (even in two-parent homes), and the long shadow of cultural and historical trauma. Key Takeaways If your only relationship education was avoidance, it makes sense that adult dating can feel confusing, anxious, or high-stakes. “Serious” isn’t assumed anymore. Clarity comes from direct conversations about what dating means to each person. Apps can encourage low-effort behavior. In-person spaces often create more accountability and real chemistry checks. Emotional intelligence matters early. Look for it before you’re already invested. Healing isn’t just personal, it’s cultural. Therapy and guided conversations can help you build a new script. Guest Info Vanessa (Dating Host) Company: Jigsaw Dating (app) Instagram: @popupwithvaness Promo code: VanessaHost10 (10% off first ticket) Miesha Rice, MSW, LCSW-C, LCSW CEO/Founder: Whole Family Healing Group Therapy for individuals and families (ages 6+) Website: www.wholefamilyhealinggroup.com Clip Credit: @bunmisupreme on Instagram What did you learn about dating growing up: connection, protection, or nothing at all? And how is that showing up in your relationships right now? If this episode made you think, send it to a friend who’s “tired of the apps” and trying to date with intention. And connect with us: @RideOrLiePodcast on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok

In this episode of Ride or Lie, Coco and Shan step away from surface-level conversations and get honest about the question that shapes everything: Why are we really doing this? This is a reflective, vulnerable conversation about purpose, evolution, mental health, and the courage it takes to choose yourself, especially when life doesn’t look the way you imagined it would. Shan opens up about how her “why” has shifted over time, from ambition and entrepreneurship to motherhood, healing, and stability. She shares how becoming a mother reshaped her priorities around mental health, financial security, emotional safety, and self-preservation. This season of her life is about being whole so she can show up fully, not just for her child, but for herself. Coco shares a deeply personal reflection on her own journey, stepping back from distractions, reassessing dating, and choosing alignment over noise. Her “why” is bigger than relationships and external validation. It’s about safety, creativity, integrity, and being able to say, at the end of the day, “I’m proud of myself.” Together, they unpack:  • Mental health and emotional regulation  • Personal growth through pain and transition  • Letting go of distractions that no longer align  • Redefining success beyond relationships and timelines  • What it means to evolve without abandoning who you are The conversation also touches on current events and culture, including reflections on media coverage, loss, and visibility. They reference the public attention surrounding Savannah Guthrie and how empathy, access, and attention show up differently in national news. This episode lands during Black History Month, grounding the discussion in awareness, reflection, and community responsibility. Coco and Shan also acknowledge recent loss in the culture, including the passing of DJ Young Slade, the son of Lil Jon. Connect with us anytime @rideorliepodcast

On this episode of the Ride or Lie Podcast, we’re tackling a real struggle in today’s dating world—swipe fatigue. With endless choices, ghosting, and the never-ending cycle of matching but never meeting, or meeting and being severely disappointed,  are we all just burning out on modern dating through app overload? Join us and our special guest co-host, Jarratt Damn, of the It’s About Damn Time podcast, bringing his unfiltered take on modern dating and why so many of us are feeling so exhausted by this app game! What We Cover in This Episode: What swipe fatigue really is and why so many people are feeling it. Why online dating feels like a full-time job—are we even enjoying it anymore? How dating apps may be training us to seek validation rather than real connection. The mental toll of endless swiping: Can we actually date without burning out? What you can do if you’re experiencing dating app burnout. We Want to Hear from You! Are you over the dating apps? Have you ever taken a break from swiping? What’s your biggest struggle with online dating? Drop your thoughts in the comments or visit us on our socials @rideorliepodcast.   Let's ride!

🎉 Happy New Year, Riders! We’re officially stepping into 2026, and we’re so glad you’re here with us. Thank you for riding alongside us through every season, shift, and surprise. This episode is our way of welcoming you back, setting the tone for the year ahead, and grounding ourselves in gratitude, honesty, and intention. Episode Summary: In this first episode of the new year, Shan and CoCo reflect on 2025 and the very different, but equally powerful journeys they each experienced. For Shan, 2025 was a year of major transition, including buying a new home and navigating the loss of a job that ultimately pushed her closer to freedom, clarity, and purpose. For CoCo, it was a year rooted in growth and learning, as she leaned into personal development and creative goals that expanded her vision. Together, the ladies talk about what it means to enter 2026 with intention, excitement, and openness. From Shan’s unexpected discovery of her femininity to CoCo celebrating Shan’s ability to soften, this conversation sets the stage for deeper dialogue, fresh perspectives, and real healing. A new segment is also introduced, along with a preview of what’s coming next: new conversations, new guests, bold topics, and yes… more therapy as the year unfolds. 🔥 What We Cover: Reflecting on the lessons and losses of 2025 Shan’s year of transition, resilience, and awakening CoCo’s season of growth, learning, and creative focus Redefining strength & femininity Introducing a new segment What Riders can expect from Ride or Lie in 2026 🎧 Listen & Subscribe: If you’re new here, welcome. If you’ve been riding with us, thank you. Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review Ride or Lie on your favorite podcast platform. Your support keeps the conversations coming. 🤍 Connect With Us: Instagram: @rideorliepodcast TikTok: @rideorliepodcast Threads: @rideorliepodcast Website: www.rideorlie.com 🚨 Be Part of the Ride: Have a story, a question, or a topic you want us to unpack this year? DM us or reach out through the website. Some of our best conversations start with you.   Have an LOL letter: send it to us at: [email protected]  🖤 Our Tagline: In life and love, you have two choices: Ride or Lie.

Happy Holidays Riders! As the year comes to a close, Shan and CoCo get real about the holidays, the pressure to feel “in the spirit,” and what it actually feels like wrapping up the year.  💔 Dating Match Update What ever happened with the New Guy (NG) Shan was feeling even before she matched with Dion from our previous 3-part series? We’re giving an owed update on where things landed, what shifted, and the lessons that came with it. Next the ladies dive into the inspiration behind this episode...a Facebook post got the ladies thinking deeply about the biological differences between men and women and how those differences show up in relationships over time. The post raises some uncomfortable but very real questions: Women are born with a fixed number of eggs and experience hormonal changes that often impact libido through menopause. Men, in many cases, don’t experience the same decline in sexual desire. So what does that mean for long-term monogamy? 🤔 The Big Question Did God design men to have multiple partners? Not as permission to cheat, but as an honest exploration of patterns we see everywhere across cultures, faiths, income levels, and age groups. When love remains but desire shifts, especially as women age and men don’t seem to slow down, who’s wrong… if anyone? Shan and CoCo weigh in with personal insight and of course, differing perspectives. ❤️ A Special Thank You to Our Riders This episode also marks the close of our launch year of the Ride or Lie Podcast, and we want to sincerely thank everyone who listened, shared, commented, and rode with us from day one. Your support made this year possible. And trust… next year we’re coming even harder. Connect with us on all social platforms @rideorliepodcast and via email at [email protected]

Curiosity, Chemistry, and the Mic Between Us — Part 3 The moment curiosity finally meets reality. In the finale of this three-part experience, Shan and Dion push the conversation to its deepest point yet. They explore the modern divide between men and women and how AI, social media, and shifting expectations are reshaping the dating landscape. Shan shares why she believes both sexes still fundamentally need each other, while Dion opens up about the lessons that his father’s legacy left on the way he loves and dates. Just before the moment everyone’s been waiting for, they jump into a quick-fire round designed to take them one layer deeper before everything changes. And then… the reveal. For the first time, Shan and Dion see each other’s faces live on the recording. No filters. No profile photos. No assumptions. What do they see? How do they feel? And what happens next? We want to hear from you... Did Shan and Dion have any chemistry?? Chime in on our social pages @RideOrLiePodcast and/or email us [email protected]

Part 2 picks up right where the first conversation left off—deep in the questions that matter. This time, the revelations come fast, and the epiphanies hit harder. Shan opens up about what she’s struggled to wrap her mind around in the poly world so far, from feelings of insecurity to the complicated dance between curiosity and jealousy. Dion breaks down the structure and dynamics of polyamory and non-monogamy in a way that challenges traditional assumptions and pushes the conversation into new territory. Together, they explore how non-monogamy can be ethical, what quality connection looks like in today’s dating culture, and the pressure modern relationships feel under outdated societal expectations. The idea of the “fairy tale ending” gets questioned, dissected, and reimagined, leading them straight into the finale of this 3 part series. Because in Part 3, Dion and Shan finally meet... live on mic. What will they think of each other after the reveal? Stay tuned. 

Shan and "Dion" matched on a dating app built for open minds. After a few days of messaging, Shan floated the idea of recording an episode together...less than twenty-four hours later, they were on the mics. What unfolds is an unfiltered, flirtatious, and deeply curious conversation that blurs the line between connection and chemistry. In this first part of their three-part series, they unpack what drew them to each other, what sparked their very first exchange, and why Shan loves a man who can teach her a few things. Dion opens up about his passions, his “nerdy side,” and more than a decade of living a poly lifestyle, while the two explore sapiosexuality, compersion, and what makes nontraditional dating spaces so different. But here’s the catch...they still haven’t met in person, but that will change by Part 3.  So is this the beginning of something real, or just the thrill of curiosity caught on mic? Ride or Lie at its most curious and experimental a first-time connection recorded in real time and shared with YOU, our Riders! IG/FB/TikTok: @rideorliepodcast Email Us: [email protected]

In this episode, Shan and CoCo kick things off with personal life updates. Shan is officially settled into her new home, and the girls catch listeners up on whether they've really stuck to staying off the dating apps—and what’s been happening in their love lives since. Have their been any new connections for the R.O.L. Girls? From there, the conversation shifts to one of the big questions in modern dating: Do friendships make the best foundation for romantic relationships? Shan and CoCo unpack why being friends first might matter—or why it might not. They explore whether lovers who start as friends have an advantage, and how connection, comfort, and communication play into long-term happiness. With personal stories, humor, and a little friendly debate, they reflect on: Why friendship can change the way we date Whether romance needs a platonic base to thrive If friends really do make the best lovers And how their own experiences shape their views There’s laughter, honesty, and a few side tangents—as always—and much more in this episode of ROL. Be sure to continue the conversation with us on Instagram, TikTok, & Facebook @rideorliepodcast and email us a [email protected]

Ever wondered what truly makes life unforgettable? In this episode, Coco and Shan dive into a viral Reddit question that got the ChatGPT treatment: What are the best human experiences? From falling in love to traveling the world, ChatGPT listed 25 of the most meaningful moments a human can have. We didn’t add to the list, but we had thoughts. In this conversation: - What 'falling in love' really means in adulthood - The emotional stretch of parenthood and caregiving - Why true forgiveness hits harder than you'd expect - How travel can humble you in the best way - And yes... that one song that knows all your business It's vulnerability, joy, growth, and a whole lot of 'Mmm, that's real.' Tune in for laughs, honest reflections, and a reminder that being human is a wild, beautiful ride. After you listen, tell us: Which human experience hit home for you? DM or tag us @rideorliepodcast — we wanna know! ----more---- 📣 Listen now to laugh, reflect, and maybe even rethink your life & dating mindset. #RideOrLie #ChatGPT #ModernLove #PodcastLife #DatingCulture #LifeLessons #BestHumanExperiences #SelfFullfillment #SelfReflection #Reddit

In this candid and reflective episode, Shan and CoCo congratulate themselves on keeping up with the podcast despite the hurdles of staying consistent with it—and the dedication it takes to keep showing up even when life gets crazy. They share life updates, including Shan’s BIG and exciting news and her gratefulness for good friends, and Coco’s mission to work in silence. They also dote on Juju (CoCo's lovable pup), plus a glimpse into how Shan’s son Darian is growing and thriving. Then, Coco tells a surprising story about the creator of Minecraft, sparking a deep conversation about modern dating, love, and whether we’re addicted to the thrill of “newness.” Are we all chasing that dopamine high? Is real connection even possible in a world of dating apps and instant gratification? The duo doesn’t hold back—and they ask the questions we’re all thinking. 💡 In This Episode: The behind-the-scenes of building a podcast and staying the course The beauty of “working in silence” before sharing your wins The reality of parenting (and pup-parenting) while juggling passion projects A wild twist involving Minecraft’s creator Deep reflections on dating culture, dopamine, and the search for something real 🔖 Quote of the Episode: "Are we actually looking for love… or just chasing the next dopamine hit?" 📣 Listen now to laugh, reflect, and maybe even rethink your dating mindset. #RideOrLie #TheDopamineEffect #ModernLove #PodcastLife #DatingCulture #NRE

In Part Two of our Alone Together: Solitude vs Loneliness series, Shan and CoCo sit down with our friend to the show, King Kieta to take the conversation deeper. We unpack the complex emotions behind solitude and loneliness, and ask: have we gotten too comfortable being alone? King Kieta opens up about her personal struggles with anxiety and how isolation has shaped her journey. She takes us behind the scenes of Boosie’s infamous annual pool party, where the chaotic energy collided with her inner world in unexpected ways. We explore the tension between independence and intimacy — and wrestle with questions like: Are we actually avoiding connection… or protecting people from our inner chaos? When solitude is survival, how do we shift gears to share life with someone else? Can we unlearn hyper-independence in a culture that glorifies it? This episode is a raw, real, and necessary deep-dive into emotional self-awareness, healing, and what it means to love and be loved when you’ve mastered being alone. 💬 Join the Conversation: Are you too good at being alone? Have you ever felt like you're saving others from your own mess? DM us or drop a comment with your story—we may feature it on an upcoming episode!

In this episode, Shan and CoCo unpack the nuances of being alone, exploring the differences between solitude and loneliness. Joining them is special friend of the show, King Kieta, who shares her insights on how she embraces solitude and the joy it brings her. The trio discuss their independent lives and the appreciation they've found in moments of solitude. But are we confusing loneliness for solitude? Let's get into it. They also reflect on the fine line between solitude and loneliness, with real-life examples and quotes from a video featuring Jay Shetty and Ryan Clark from The Pivot. We Want to Hear from You! Have you ever uncovered surprising truths about someone you were dating? Or perhaps you’ve realized you were presenting a ‘representative’ version of yourself? Share your stories and thoughts with us on social media: @rideorliepodcast Email Us: [email protected] Additional Resources: The Pivot Podcast Tune in for an engaging and reflective conversation that might just change your perspective on alone time!

In this episode of the Ride or Lie podcast, hosts Shan and Coco delve into the complexities of truly knowing one’s partner. They introduce the new ‘Ride or Lie’ segment, where they explore real-life scenarios that challenge perceptions of trust and understanding in relationships. Highlights from this episode include: Shan’s Story: Shan opens up about a past relationship that escalated to the point of requiring a restraining order, shedding light on the importance of recognizing red flags early on. Coco’s Personal Experience: Coco shares her journey of discovering her partner’s mental health struggles 2 months into dating, leading to profound insights about communication and support. The ‘Representative’ Phenomenon: A discussion on how individuals often present an idealized version of themselves in the early stages of dating, influenced by upbringing and societal expectations. Recognizing Authenticity: Tips and insights on identifying genuine behavior versus façades in potential partners, emphasizing the significance of self-awareness and open communication. We Want to Hear from You! Have you ever uncovered surprising truths about someone you were dating? Or perhaps you’ve realized you were presenting a ‘representative’ version of yourself? Share your stories and thoughts with us on social media: @rideorliepodcast Email Us: [email protected] Additional Resources: For a deeper understanding of self-awareness in relationships, consider exploring this resource: Harvard Business Review on Self-Awareness Tune in to this episode for an engaging conversation that challenges perceptions and encourages introspection in the realm of dating and relationships.

Is being in the friend zone really a bad thing, or is it an underrated space for genuine connection and growth?  On this episode of the Ride or Lie Podcast, we’re diving into the friend zone—what it really means, how it happens, and whether it can actually be a good thing in today’s dating landscape. What We Cover in This Episode: What is the friend zone, really? (And why our definitions might not match up!) Why do people get friend-zoned? Are "nice guys" really finishing last? Is it possible to escape the friend zone? Or is it a lifelong sentence? Can the friend zone lead to deeper connections? Or is it just a polite way of saying “not interested”? Men vs. Women: Who friendzones more, and how does it impact relationships? Are some people just pretending to be friends, waiting for their chance? Hope vs. Reality: Do mixed signals create false hope, and who’s responsible for managing it? Featuring: This week we’re joined by Jarratt DAMN of the It's About Damn Time podcast, who keeps it 100% real about his experiences in the friend zone, calling out the hard truths and dropping gems on how relationships really work. We Want to Hear from You! Have you ever been friend-zoned? Have you ever friend-zoned someone and regretted it? Did you or someone you know make it out of the friend zone and into a successful relationship? Drop your thoughts in the comments or tag us on social media (@rideorliepodcast).

In this episode of the Ride or Lie Podcast, Shan and Coco dive headfirst into the wild world of modern dating apps with a candid, laugh-out-loud conversation about "swipe life." Whether you’re a seasoned swiper or just dipping your toe into the digital dating pool, this episode has all the advice (and tea) you need to level up your game.

Welcome to Ride or Lie! In this raw and revealing episode of Ride or Lie, we dive deep into something many of us struggle with but rarely discuss openly, self-sabotage in dating and relationships. Hosts Shan and Coco get vulnerable about their own patterns of getting in their own way when it comes to love. Join us as we explore modern love and build our own community of "Riders." Connect: @RideorLiePodcast!

A New Beginning: Navigating Modern Dating Welcome to Ride or Lie! Bring in the new year with your hosts Shan, a travel entrepreneur and newly single mom, and Coco, A creative with Ghanaian roots, as we share unique takes on trust, dating apps, boundaries, and balancing love and life with our personal growth. Join us as we explore modern love and build our own community of "Riders." Connect: @RideorLiePodcast!

Big things coming...Big updates....This episode gives you a glimpse into what we've been doing and what we've been working on. But we can't give it all away. So keep riding with us! -Shan & CoCo