PODCAST · comedy

Road whores trades and crafts

by Mike porter

The Palatka Paper Mill MayhemPalatka, Florida. GP mill outage. Not so much a project as a slow-motion demolition derby with hardhats.The stars of this circus are Rick and Dale, ironworkers by trade, grade-A trouble magnets by reputation. Night falls and these boys run straight from the blast furnace into every vice Palatka offers — beer, pills, and women who could teach OSHA a thing or two about hazardous conditions.And then there’s Skywalker. Foreman with the brains of an empty spool and the wallet to match. Guy’s so spaced out, if he fell off his own ego, he’d starve before he hit bottom. Sometimes I think the only thing he can weld is excuses.One night, the party starts with the usual suspects — pharmaceuticals straight from Dr. Y’all Don’t Need Insurance, and enough “dates” to turn the employee breakroom into a casting call for bad decisions. But destiny, like every bar tab, comes due: Skywalker’s out of cash, but not out of dumb ideas.."Got no cash for the girls? No problem.