Safe To Be Seen

Dating right now feels exhausting—and it’s not just you.In this episode, we break down what’s actually happening beneath the surface of the modern dating world. Why connection feels harder. Why people are more guarded, disconnected, and unsure of how to build something real.This isn’t about blaming men or women.It’s about understanding the nervous system patterns, survival strategies, and identity loops that are shaping how we show up in love.We talk about:– Why your nervous system is choosing familiarity over connection– The hidden patterns keeping you stuck in the same dating cycles– The truth about attraction vs. safety– What actually creates depth, polarity, and lasting connectionIf you’re dating right now—or avoiding it altogether—this episode will change how you see everything.Because the problem isn’t dating.It’s the patterns you’re bringing into it.Holos Healing: 30 Days of Somatic Meditation: https://darci-burke.mykajabi.com/offers/FXbMNHJ7/checkout@safe2bseen@holos_heal@gettinlostisbeingfound

Your life isn’t random.It’s a reflection of who your body believes you are.In this episode, we break down how your identity is shaping your reality—whether you’re aware of it or not. We share how our lives didn’t change because we tried harder… they changed because we became different.We go into the neuroscience behind identity—how your brain filters reality, how your nervous system determines what feels safe to receive, and why lasting change requires more than mindset.And most importantly, we give you actionable steps to begin shifting your identity at the level where real transformation happens: in the body.Because you don’t create a new life by force.You create it by becoming the version of you who can hold it.Holos Healing: 30 Days of Somatic Meditation: https://darci-burke.mykajabi.com/offers/FXbMNHJ7/checkout@safe2bseen@holos_heal@gettinlostisbeingfound

What happens when life doesn’t go the way you thought it would?In this conversation with Heather Speth, we open up about the kind of transitions that reshape you — divorce, long seasons of being alone, stepping into motherhood in your 40s, and the expansion of faith that comes when everything familiar falls away.This isn’t about “figuring it out.”It’s about becoming someone new inside the unknown.We talk about identity shifts, nervous system safety through massive life changes, and how to stay connected to yourself when life asks you to let go of everything you once knew.We also share the heart behind our book Grounded — and why helping children build inner safety and connection to the earth may be one of the most important things we can offer the next generation.If you’re in a season you didn’t choose… this one is for you.GROUNDED: Helping Kids Find Inner Safety and Earth-Rooted Connection - 50 Guided Lessons for Parents and Teachers https://a.co/d/0f2zrYI6Own Your Rhythm: Unleash the power of feminine cycles. https://a.co/d/0fyqbRzsMoonlit Learning: Lunar Year Adventure For Kids https://a.co/d/06uuO9s6Holos Healing: 30 Days of Somatic Meditation: https://darci-burke.mykajabi.com/offers/FXbMNHJ7/checkout@safe2bseen@holos_heal@gettinlostisbeingfound

Most people believe relationship problems are communication problems.But what if the real issue isn’t communication — it’s survival patterns wired into the nervous system?In this episode, Darci and Brandon explore the hidden nervous system adaptations that show up inside relationships — including defensiveness, emotional withdrawal, control, and self-abandonment.These behaviors are often labeled toxic or dysfunctional, but in reality they are protective strategies the body created to maintain connection and avoid pain.You’ll learn:• Why defensiveness is often a nervous system response to perceived threat• Why some people emotionally withdraw when conflict appears• How control develops as a strategy to avoid vulnerability• Why self-abandonment is one of the most common relational patterns• How these survival patterns block true intimacyWhen we understand the patterns running beneath our behavior, we stop blaming ourselves and our partners — and we start creating relationships built on safety, awareness, and repair.Because most people aren’t toxic.They’re patterned.And when those patterns become conscious, they can finally be rewired.Holos Healing: 30 Days of Somatic Meditation: https://darci-burke.mykajabi.com/offers/FXbMNHJ7/checkout@safe2bseen@holos_heal@gettinlostisbeingfound

Sex exposes everything.How you handle rejection.How you relate to power.How you respond to intensity.How present you actually are.In long-term relationships, sexuality doesn’t fade because desire dies.It fades because intimacy erodes.Shame stays unspoken.And the nervous system no longer feels safe to open.In this episode we explore:• Why sexuality disconnects• How shame gets stored in the body• The masculine and feminine wounds around desire• Why stability isn’t the same as intimacy• And how to expand sex without forcing itSexuality isn’t about performing better.It’s about becoming more honest.Holos Healing: 30 Days of Somatic Meditation: https://darci-burke.mykajabi.com/offers/FXbMNHJ7/checkout@safe2bseen@holos_heal@gettinlostisbeingfound

We tend to think second marriages start after a divorce.But many second marriages begin while two people are still legally married — because the first marriage ended long before anyone left.This episode explores the invisible moment when a relationship shifts from partnership to survival. When repair stops landing. When two nervous systems stop feeling safe with each other. When love exists… but connection doesn’t.We talk about:•How marriages quietly “end” beneath the surface•Why so many couples repeat patterns instead of repairing them•The difference between commitment and nervous system safety•What’s actually required to create a second half of marriage — without starting over with someone newThis isn’t about blame or dramatic exits.It’s about the subtle ways we stop choosing each other — and the equally subtle ways we can return.If you love your partner but feel stuck in the same cycles, this conversation is for you.Because sometimes the most radical thing you can dois not leave —but learn how to come back.Holos Healing: 30 Days of Somatic Meditation: https://darci-burke.mykajabi.com/offers/FXbMNHJ7/checkout@safe2bseen@holos_heal@gettinlostisbeingfound

Your purpose isn’t something you find outside of you.It’s something you remember inside of you.Because the truth is—your purpose was never missing.It’s just been buried under survival…under conditioning…under who you had to become to be loved, safe, chosen, or accepted.In this episode, we’re talking about the path back to the life you were born for.Not the “hustle harder and manifest faster” version…but the embodied, nervous-system-led return.The kind where your body becomes your compass again.Where clarity isn’t forced—it’s revealed.Where your mission doesn’t feel heavy, confusing, or far away…it feels like home.We share own personal journeys of finding our purpose— not as the only way.  But as a guide to support you in your own journeys of self discovery.@safe2bseen@holos_heal@gettinlostisbeingfound

Big transitions don’t ask for more effort—they ask for more presence.In this episode, Brandon and Darci explore what it really means to move through life’s transitions without burning out, collapsing, or abandoning the body in the process. Together, they unpack why embodied rest isn’t a pause from momentum, but the very thing that creates it.You’ll hear an honest conversation about:    •    Why major life shifts often trigger exhaustion, anxiety, or collapse    •    How the body experiences transition—and what it needs to stay regulated    •    The difference between pushing through change and moving with coherence    •    How rest, embodiment, and nervous system awareness unlock clarity, direction, and sustainable momentumThis episode is an invitation to rewrite your story from the inside-out by learning how to stay in your body, soften your nervous system, and let momentum emerge naturally instead of being forced.If you’re in the middle of change, or standing at the edge of one, this conversation offers a grounded and embodied way forward.Feminine initiation healing course: https://www.holoshealing.info/descent/@safe2bseen@holos_heal@gettinlostisbeingfound

What if your child inherits more of your nervous system than your advice? We pull apart projection, the subtle ways our unlived life becomes our child’s burden, and how reparenting ourselves changes the energy our kids grow up in.We get practical about felt safety: co-regulation over control, attunement over platitudes, and why you can’t fake presence with gifts or grand gestures. Think real-world moments—missed party invites, public meltdowns, and performance pressure around sports or school—and the quiet skills that transform them: naming emotions, staying anchored, and repairing after we misstep. We also talk boundaries that protect connection, not our image; autonomy that grows authenticity; and the simple question that resets everything: why does this moment trigger me?Along the way, we revisit Jung’s line about the “unlived life of the parent,” explore how generational trauma travels through state, and share the shift from pushing kids toward our dreams to standing ready to support theirs. The metric we use now is simple and hard: how safe do our kids feel telling us the truth when they’ve messed up? If you’re ready to trade performance parenting for presence, and fear for curiosity, you’ll find tools, language, and hope here.If this conversation helped, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. Your support helps more families find safety, repair, and a new story worth living.Holos Healing:https://holoshealing.info/Gettin Lost Is Being Found:https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2ptGuided meditation:https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0[00:00:00] Intro and welcome[00:01:56] Darci's Memories: Presence and Joy[00:06:45] Brandon's Memories: Work, Support, Accountability[00:13:20] Becoming Young Parents and Big Emotions[00:17:20] Projection, Reparenting, and Jung's Quote[00:22:10] Modeling Mistakes, Regulation, and Repair[00:26:20] Nervous System, Co‑Regulation, Felt Safety[00:31:20] Space, Autonomy, and The Pendulum[00:36:00] Sports, Expectations, and Letting Kids Lead[00:40:10] Attunement vs Misattunement in Daily Life[00:44:20] Safety, Being Seen, and Family Repair

What if depression isn't a disorder at all, but rather your authentic self rebelling against inauthentic living?In this deeply personal episode, we flip the script on a subject that has profoundly impacted our lives. Brandon shares his journey through the darkness of depression, from the shame that initially prevented him from seeking help to the over-medicalization that left him feeling less pain but also less alive. Meanwhile, Darci offers a revolutionary perspective through a nervous system lens – explaining how depression serves as a protective mechanism when your body has exhausted its energy reserves.We explore the three categories of depression, with special focus on intrapsychic depression – that disconnection from self which stems from suppressed emotions and unprocessed trauma. Society has normalized achievement over authenticity, independence over connection, and productivity over presence, creating the perfect conditions for what therapists call "functional freeze" or "masked depression" – maintaining high performance while feeling dead inside.Ready to see depression through a different lens? Listen now and discover how your darkest moments might actually be calling you home to yourself.Holos Healing:https://holoshealing.info/Gettin Lost Is Being Found:https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2ptGuided meditation:https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0[00:00:00] Reframing Depression: Not a Disorder[00:08:40] Our Personal Experiences with Depression[00:14:25] The Medical Approach: Medication Limitations[00:23:30] Depression as a Call to Consciousness[00:33:20] Healing Depression: Body-Based Approaches[00:50:00] Pleasure, Play, and Expression as Medicine[01:16:45] Supporting a Partner Through Depression

Lexi Bowler shares her journey of building Bowler Aesthetics into a thriving business while discovering that embracing feminine leadership leads to greater success and personal fulfillment.• Started with a desire to help clear her own acne, then expanded into permanent makeup and product development• Built the "Bowler Sisterhood" by openly sharing techniques in an industry that kept secrets• Created innovative products including specialized microblading tools and healing solutions• Experienced burnout after seven years of operating predominantly from masculine energy• Pregnancy forced her to slow down, creating space for more feminine approaches to business• Found that creating boundaries around work time improved both business and family life• Practices box breathing and movement to manage anxiety when it arises• Discovered that reconnecting with her body through stretching released years of stored tension• Operates from "harmony" rather than perfect balance between work and family• Now prioritizes sacred morning routines, leaving work by 4pm, and keeping weekends for family• Business has grown more effectively since embracing feminine energy and slowing downHolos Healing:https://holoshealing.info/Gettin Lost Is Being Found:https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2ptGuided meditation:https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0[00:00:00] Introduction to Lexi Bowler's Journey[00:09:53] Building Bowler Aesthetics from Scratch[00:16:15] Product Innovation and Community Building[00:25:40] Balancing Work and Family Life[00:34:32] From Masculine Hustle to Feminine Flow[00:47:42] Body Awareness and Business Growth[00:59:08] Authenticity as a Business Superpower[01:07:30] Final Wisdom and Finding Harmony

Brandon takes us through the critical components of masculine shadow work and the transformation that awaits men who undertake this healing journey. We explore the seven core shadow aspects that block men from their authentic power and the specific wounds that create these patterns.• Shadow is defined as unconscious aspects of personality that the ego doesn't identify with• The seven core masculine shadow aspects include dominance/control, emotional repression, and fear of the feminine• Most men carry deep shame and inadequacy as a primary shadow aspect• Projection, overreaction, and judgment are common expressions of unintegrated shadow• The father wound and lack of proper initiation rituals leave many men in perpetual "boy energy"• Healing involves five key steps: awareness, feeling emotions, reparenting, integration, and reestablishing healthy relationship with the feminine• Nervous system regulation is essential for shadow integration• True masculine power comes from regulated presence rather than domination• Integration creates space for creative energy, connection, and thriving instead of merely surviving• Most annoying habits between partners often reflect deeper patterns needing attentionMore Than Love Couples Coachinghttps://www.instagram.com/safe2bseen?igsh=MTJkNHNkNXh6bzlxMw==Holos Healing:https://holoshealing.info/Gettin Lost Is Being Found:https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2ptGuided meditation:https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0[00:00:00] Introduction to Masculine Shadow Work[00:10:18] Core Shadow Aspects of Masculinity[00:18:24] Dominance, Control and Emotional Repression[00:27:42] Father Wounds[00:37:13] Healing the Masculine Shadow[00:48:15] Integration and Reclaiming True Power[00:57:20] The Energy of Thriving vs Surviving

The feminine shadow and its wounds are not just emotional scars but nervous system imprints stored in our bodies, requiring somatic integration for true healing to occur. Darci reveals how shadow work combined with nervous system regulation allows women to reclaim their authentic feminine essence and transform protective patterns into their greatest gifts.• Feminine wounds are nervous system imprints that manifest in the body as physical sensations and postures• The shadow cannot be "prayed away" but must be integrated through somatic practices• Common feminine wounds include worthiness, abandonment, silence/suppression, body/beauty, and power/visibility• The body will only repattern when it feels safe, making nervous system regulation essential for shadow integration• Self-sacrifice is often culturally celebrated in women but comes at the cost of health, vitality, and authentic expression• Distinction between sacrifice (depleting) and devotion (life-giving) in feminine expression• The HOLOS method: Honor the shadow, Observe body cues, Lean into discomfort, Open to expression, Synthesize• Sovereignty is a frequency that allows women to reclaim their power and stop giving away their life force• Healing creates space for expansion, creativity, and the expression of gifts previously unknownDarci's new Feminine Shadow Nervous System Integration ebook offers a comprehensive guide for women to identify and heal their feminine shadows. Visit www.holoshealinginfo or reach out on Instagram to learn more about this somatic pathway to wholeness.More Than Love Couples Coachinghttps://www.instagram.com/safe2bseen?igsh=MTJkNHNkNXh6bzlxMw==Holos Healing:https://holoshealing.info/Gettin Lost Is Being Found:https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2ptGuided meditation:https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0[00:00:00] Understanding the Feminine Shadow[00:16:44] Common Feminine Wounds Explained[00:25:43] Integrating Shadows Through Nervous System Work[00:36:01] Self-Sacrifice vs. Devotion in Femininity[00:45:42] Personal Healing Journey and Sovereignty[00:51:29] The Holos Method and New Ebook Introduction

Brandon Burke shares his transformational approach to guiding men through the midlife transition, revealing how what we call a "crisis" is actually a sacred portal to authentic living.• Midlife transition is not a crisis but a sacred opportunity to leave behind everything you are not• Indigenous cultures had structured rites of passage from boyhood to manhood that no longer exist in modern society• The first half of life focuses on building a container (ego, identity, boundaries) while the second half is about filling it with what truly matters• Warning signs of midlife transition include losing interest in previously enjoyable activities, difficulty being present, depression, anxiety, and burnout• Brandon's coaching approach focuses on four pillars: reconnect to the body, restore vitality, rewire old patterns, and return to authentic purpose• High-performing men often have high pain tolerance due to disconnection from their bodies and emotions• Embodiment practices aren't "girly"—they're potentially the most masculine thing a man can do• True strength comes from a regulated nervous system and the ability to stay calm amid chaos• The resistance you feel during transition equals the expansion available on the other sideIf you're ready to transform yourself into the man you were meant to be, DM Brandon on Instagram at gettinlostisbeingfound or click the link in the show notes.More Than Love Couples Coachinghttps://www.instagram.com/safe2bseen?igsh=MTJkNHNkNXh6bzlxMw==Holos Healing:https://holoshealing.info/Gettin Lost Is Being Found:https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2pt[00:00:00] Embracing Midlife Vulnerability[00:11:27] Building a Men's Community[00:24:06] The Misunderstood Midlife Crisis[00:36:43] Signs of the Midlife Transition[00:49:55] Reconnecting to Your Authentic Self[01:00:32] From Performance to Embodiment[01:07:59] Call to Action and Program Details

Brandon and Darci explore the difference between performative religious practices and transformative spiritual experiences, reflecting on their personal journeys since leaving organized religion.• Defining spirituality as the practice of love and deep connection• Community as both the benefit and shadow side of religious participation• Moving from viewing oneself as broken to recognizing inherent wholeness• The body as an altar and spiritual guide that never lies• Meditation as a tool for excavation rather than escape• The danger of spiritual outsourcing and abandoning one's inner knowing• Finding spirituality in everyday moments and human connections• Intimate relationships as the ultimate spiritual training ground• The sacred nature of suffering and its role in transformation• Presence as the core of spiritual practiceIf you're ready to reconnect and bring your relationship back to life, send a DM to our Instagram at safe2bseen [00:00:00] Performative vs. Transformative Spirituality[00:03:42] What We Miss About Religion[00:11:33] Community and Confirmation Bias[00:21:45] Defining Modern Spirituality[00:31:00] From Broken to Whole: Shifting Paradigms[00:38:44] Body as Altar: Meditation and Self-Discovery[00:47:49] Avoiding Spiritual Outsourcing[00:54:47] Living Authentically as Spiritual Practice[01:04:27] Finding Spirituality in Human Connection

Ashley Baird shares her incredible journey as a breast cancer survivor, mother of five, and community builder who transformed her diagnosis into a mission to help others.• Diagnosed at age 36 with stage 4 triple-negative breast cancer after finding a lump the day after Christmas• Given only a 20% chance of successful treatment and a prognosis of approximately two years to live• Fought through aggressive chemotherapy while parenting five children, including a three-year-old daughter• Experienced what she describes as miracles throughout her treatment journey, including access to life-saving medications• Created the nonprofit "Battle of the Breasts" to support women fighting breast cancer in her community• Found deepened faith and spirituality through her cancer journey, learning to "nestle, not wrestle" with her circumstances• Discovered that allowing herself to be vulnerable and accept help from others was one of the greatest challenges• Transformed her perspective on parenting and life priorities, focusing on meaningful moments with her family• Defied all medical odds to survive more than ten years after her initial diagnosis• Continues to use her experience to bring hope and support to others facing similar battlesJoin us at Battle of the Breasts on September 27th to support women currently fighting breast cancer. Visit battleofthebreasts.org to sign up a team, become a sponsor, or make a donation.More Than Love Couples Coachinghttps://www.instagram.com/safe2bseen?igsh=MTJkNHNkNXh6bzlxMw==Holos Healing:https://holoshealing.info/Gettin Lost Is Being Found:https://www.instagram.com/gettinlostisbeingfound?igsh=bWZrN3JndmQ0Y2ptFind Battle Of The Breasts here:https://www.battleofthebreasts.org/Instagram: @battle.of.the.breastsEmail: [email protected][00:00:00] Introduction to Ashley's Journey[00:09:15] The Moment Everything Changed[00:20:32] The Diagnosis and Breaking News[00:33:16] Finding Purpose in the Battle[00:46:35] When Family Becomes Your Why[01:00:20] The Spiritual Journey Through Cancer[01:14:15] Changing Perspectives on Parenting[01:28:30] The Medical Battle Against All Odds[01:45:05] Battle of the Breasts: Creating Legacy

Former NFL quarterback John Beck shares his remarkable journey from undersized, late-developing young athlete to BYU football star and NFL draft pick, revealing the psychological dimensions of high performance and resilience through life's inevitable challenges.• The importance of having a clear vision and unwavering belief from a young age• How parental influence shaped Beck's work ethic and mindset for success• Experiencing the underdog mindset and using it as motivation rather than limitation• The psychological balancing act of caring deeply while letting go of outcomes• Why comparing yourself to others at young ages is counterproductive• Beck's experience as BYU quarterback, including the famous "answered prayer" play• The unexpected adversity and disappointment of his NFL careerRemember, it's not about that—it's about conditioning yourself to be willing to do what it takes and to love it.Join us for our couples retreat "More Than Love" on September 19-21 in Brian Head, Utah, where you'll learn to heal unconscious patterns, regulate your nervous system, and step into your divine masculine and feminine energy. Visit the link in our show notes to apply.Guided meditation:https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0Find Our Couples Retreathttps://holoshealing.info/more-than-love/[00:00:00] Finding Purpose Through Adversity[00:13:34] Growing Up in Mesa: Family Influences[00:24:20] Performance Mindset and Youth Athletics[00:39:17] The BYU Quarterback Experience[00:55:29] NFL Career: Challenges and Disappointments[01:11:47] Finding Balance: Faith in Professional Sports[01:22:15] Life Lessons from Football[01:31:40] Parenting and Perspective[01:39:46] What Truly Matters in Life

Religious upbringing disconnects women from their divine feminine essence by teaching them to rely on male authority figures rather than their own intuition and spiritual wisdom. Patriarchal systems reinforce this by limiting recognition of feminine divinity and creating shame through purity culture, which research shows leads to religious trauma syndrome, lower self-esteem, sexual dysfunction, and damaged relationships.• The feminine divine was presented as "too sacred" in religious contexts, creating spiritual fragmentation and disconnection• Purity culture creates disembodiment through shame, teaching women they are responsible for men's thoughts and actions• Religious trauma separates women from their intuition, sensuality, and connection to their bodies• Studies confirm purity culture leads to anxiety, guilt, lowered autonomy, sexual dysfunction and marital dissatisfaction• The divine feminine is not about people-pleasing, hyper-independence, self-sacrifice, or performing for others' approval• True feminine essence is magnetic, intuitive, creative, and deeply connected to body wisdom• Embodying the feminine requires creating space, processing emotions, trusting intuition, and developing personal rituals• Women carry the "vortex of creation" within their wombs—a direct connection to divine feminine power• Feminine energy doesn't force outcomes but attracts through presence, and authenticity• Healing the feminine involves "unbecoming what you are not" through nervous system regulation and embodiment practicesJoin us for our couples retreat "More Than Love" on September 19-21 in Brian Head, Utah, where you'll learn to heal unconscious patterns, regulate your nervous system, and step into your divine masculine and feminine energy. Visit the link in our show notes to apply.Guided meditation:https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0Find Our Couples Retreathttps://holoshealing.info/more-than-love/Timestamps[00:00:00] Childhood Views of Feminine Divine[00:09:45] Religious Disconnection From Feminine[00:15:04] Mother After Deconstruction[00:29:04] Purity Culture and Its Lasting Impact[00:42:15] Podcast Couples Retreat Promotion[00:51:10] What Feminine Is Not[00:58:59] True Nature of Divine Feminine

The dance of masculine and feminine energies represents one of humanity's most powerful dynamics—yet these essential polarities are often misunderstood and constrained by societal expectations. Brandon Burke peels back layers of conditioning to reveal the truth: "Masculine and feminine are not gender identities. They are energetic life forces that we each embody."Brandon shares a deeply personal examination of patriarchy's devastating impact on both women and men. Women have been conditioned to "play small and not ruffle feathers," while men have learned to "wear masks of strength to cover up their fear." These patterns leave everyone feeling unsafe to be authentically seen.The conversation takes an illuminating turn as Brandon explores the historical shifts in American gender dynamics. While equality outside the bedroom creates balance, sexual attraction thrives on polarity. This creates a delicate dance—when masculine energy decreases, feminine energy unconsciously increases to maintain equilibrium, often diminishing the natural attraction between partners.For men seeking to embody healthy masculine energy, Brandon offers profound guidance about living at the edge of fear without becoming passive or overly forceful. The masculine's greatest gift isn't fixing or controlling the feminine—it's providing consistent presence and stability. Through breath awareness, eye contact, and regulated presence during emotional storms, men create safety that allows full feminine expression.Perhaps most powerfully, Brandon vulnerably shares his own journey navigating these energies: "I'm in the trenches in this. I'm not an expert, I'm not perfect at it. This is the sacred work of relationship." His message speaks directly to men who struggle with discomfort during their partner's emotional expression: "Don't let your heart close just because hers is."Ready to transform your relationship? Join us for our couples retreat "More Than Love" in Brian Head, Utah this September. Discover how to create true safety, heal unconscious patterns, and experience the connection you've always desired.Timestamps:[00:00:00] Intro[00:04:26] The Destructive Impact of Patriarchy[00:09:20] Historical Evolution of Gender Dynamics[00:17:30] Polarity and Sexual Attraction[00:31:10] Father and Mother Wounds[00:43:52] The Art of Holding Space[00:59:36] Breath, Presence, and Regulation[01:09:42] Opening Her Heart When It's Closed

What if the most powerful energy you could emit isn't happiness, love, or gratitude—but simply being authentic? Groundbreaking research reveals that when humans express authentically, regardless of which emotion they're experiencing, they generate energy spikes 40 times greater than traditionally "positive" emotions. This scientific confirmation validates what many of us intuitively sense: our authentic expression is our most potent life force.In this deeply personal exploration of authenticity, we share our own journeys back to our true selves. Brandon reveals how his depression stemmed from living inauthentically, driven by external validation and achievement, while Darci explains how her autoimmune conditions connected to years of suppressing her needs and managing others' emotions. We discuss how cultural conditioning, particularly for women, creates a dangerous pattern of self-sacrifice that manifests as physical illness when we abandon our authentic expression.The journey toward authenticity begins by shifting one crucial question. Rather than asking "what does the world want of me?"—the question that dominates our early lives—we must ask instead: "how does my soul want to express in this world?" This simple reframing opens the door to profound healing. As we share practical tools for reconnecting with your authentic self—from somatic practices to inner child work to simply playing like we did during our spontaneous skinny dipping adventure at Gordon Creek Falls—we invite you to remember who you truly are beneath the masks and conditioning.The path isn't always easy. As Gabor Maté suggests, we face two options of pain: the pain of living authentically or the pain of attachment. When we choose belonging over authenticity, we paradoxically belong to no one, since others never truly know us. Yet when we express our genuine selves, we make it safe for others to do the same. Ready to start your journey back to authenticity? Guided meditation:https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wbf8yihnv2a8h7jjyhczw/Connecting-to-your-Authentic-Self.mp3?rlkey=4cjj06t9ltrbv044ouxotim89&e=2&st=fvfoodx6&dl=0Timestamps:[00:00:00] Intro[00:12:46] Celebrating Family and Discovering Hidden Waterfalls[00:21:22] The Science Behind Authentic Energy[00:31:44] How We Lose Our Authentic Selves[00:42:14] The Couples Retreat "More Than Love"[00:51:54] Reclaiming Your Authenticity Through Practice[01:07:34] The Parable of the Smoky Mirror

What happens when our beliefs control us rather than us controlling our beliefs? This profound question lies at the heart of our journey through attachment and how it shapes our connections with others and ourselves.Attachment isn't inherently problematic—it's how our nervous systems organize for survival, safety, and belonging. The challenge emerges when we become so attached to our beliefs that they blind us to other perspectives and possibilities. Using Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.'s "Five Levels of Attachment" as our guide, we explore how attachment progresses from the authentic self enjoying pure experience (level one) to dangerous fanaticism that destroys relationships and creates suffering (level five).Through personal stories of religious deconstruction, we share both painful moments of judgment when beliefs changed and beautiful instances of curiosity and acceptance. We examine how attachment manifests physically—creating anxiety, tightness, and defensive reactions when beliefs are challenged—and how awareness interrupts this cycle. Those moments when we feel compelled to defend our positions or impose them on others reveal unhealthy attachment taking control.The path forward isn't about abandoning all beliefs but recognizing our relationship with knowledge. Are we using knowledge as a tool for connection and understanding, or are we allowing it to create separation and suffering? As Nikola Tesla wisely noted, "We are all one. Only egos, beliefs, and fear separate us."This exploration represents a fundamental aspect of our middle passage—the transition that has reshaped our lives. Rather than adding more to our identities, we've discovered the liberating power of subtraction—unbecoming rather than becoming. By loosening our grip on rigid beliefs, we create space for deeper connections, greater curiosity, and authentic living.Ready to examine your own attachments? Listen in, and join us next time as we explore authenticity—the counterbalance to attachment and the key to living genuinely connected lives.Find Our Couples Retreathttps://holoshealing.info/more-than-love/Timestamps:[00:00:00] Intro[00:03:50] Couple Life Update and Family Reflections[00:09:02] Understanding Attachments and Knowledge[00:17:40] The Five Levels of Attachment Explained[00:38:36] Creating Our Own Suffering Through Beliefs[00:46:12] Breaking Free From Unhealthy Attachments[01:02:30] Authenticity Preview and Closing Thoughts

Trauma shapes our intimate relationships far more than most of us realize. In this revealing conversation, Darci and Brandon explore how the wounds we carry from childhood create unconscious patterns in our adult relationships.What if the key to deep connection isn't understanding your partner's love language, but rather their trauma language? As Darci explains, true intimacy means being "deeply seen and known without having to perform," yet our unresolved wounds often make this vulnerability feel impossible. Each time we're triggered, we're essentially teleported back to a younger version of ourselves—responding not to the present situation, but to what our nervous system remembers from the past.The good news? Through understanding the body's language and creating compassionate relationships with these younger parts of ourselves, healing is possible. Brandon's moving poem about reconnecting with "little Brandon" demonstrates how we can offer ourselves the safety, protection and love we always deserved.Find Our Couples Retreathttps://holoshealing.info/more-than-love/[00:00:00] Intro and welcome[00:08:00] How Marriage Affects Self-Discovery[00:17:00] Understanding Trauma in Relationships[00:29:00] The Science of the Nervous System[00:38:00] Parts Work and Inner Child Healing[00:55:00] Creating Relationship with Younger Self[01:10:00] Brandon's Poem to Little Brandon

Your nervous system holds the key to transforming your relationships. In this illuminating episode, somatic practitioner Darci Burke explains how childhood experiences shape our attachment styles and why cognitive understanding alone isn't enough for healing.The conversation begins with a special treat as Brandon and Darci's daughter Graci joins from Hawaii to perform "Paradise" by Stick Figure—a song with profound meaning for Brandon's healing journey. After this beautiful musical interlude, Darci delves into the science of attachment and regulation.Darci reveals that 80% of communication flows from body to mind, not the reverse, making our physiology the true creator of our psychology. We learn how attachment styles form in early childhood based on caregiver relationships: anxious attachment from predominantly dysregulated caregivers, avoidant attachment when connection wasn't safe, and disorganized attachment from unpredictable safety and danger.The episode offers hope through understanding that caregivers only need to be regulated 30% of the time to foster secure attachment in children. But the most powerful insight comes in distinguishing between cognitive understanding and embodied healing. The nervous system doesn't understand verbal language—only felt experience—which explains why many remain stuck despite intellectual awareness of their patterns.For true transformation, Brandon and Darci stress the importance of somatic practices that create safety in the body first. This approach burns away survival energy, creating space for expansion, authenticity, and deeper connection. The conversation concludes with information about their upcoming couples retreat and programs designed to help parents foster secure attachment in their children.Ready to transform your relationships by healing your nervous system? This episode provides the roadmap to become unstuck from survival patterns and remember your inherent wholeness.

How did the fantasy version of love peddled by Hollywood and pop music shape your expectations about relationships? In this deeply personal episode, we trace the evolution of our 28-year relationship from blind romantic mythology to genuine connection.We begin with the serendipitous way we met—dancing to Tim McGraw at a college event in 1997—and journey through our early marriage, where we mistakenly believed we needed to complete each other. Like many couples, we entered marriage with unconscious programming about what love should look like, much of it shaped by media messages. Remember Jerry Maguire's famous "you complete me" line? We bought into that fantasy completely, along with other harmful ideas from those classic '80s and '90s love songs (which we hilariously sing for you).The turning point came when we realized our relationship was struggling because we were operating from wounded places, trying to use love as a band-aid for abandonment wounds. Through vulnerable self-work, we discovered that our partners aren't the source of our pain, but the revealer of it—a sacred mirror reflecting what needs healing within ourselves.Today, we share what we've learned about creating a relationship built on sovereignty rather than codependence. True love doesn't try to change or fix you. It doesn't control, demand, or require reciprocity. Instead, it creates safety for authentic expression and becomes a container for healing rather than a performance of roles.If you're ready to transform your relationship from a place of survival to genuine connection, join us for our intimate couples retreat "More Than Love" this September, where we'll guide just ten couples through the tools and practices that revolutionized our marriage. Because when love comes from wholeness rather than need, everything changes.Find Our Couples Retreathttps://holoshealing.info/more-than-love/[00:00:00] Intro[00:09:14] Weekend at Cali Vibes Festival[00:17:05] Beginning Days of Our Relationship[00:33:09] How Media Shapes Our View of Love[00:42:37] What We Thought Love Was[01:03:38] Unconscious Patterns in Relationships[01:14:50] What Love Really Is[01:19:50] More Than Love Retreat Announcement

What happens when your spiritual foundation begins to shift after four decades? Brandon Burke takes us through his unexpected journey leaving Mormonism, beginning with a profound encounter with a hummingbird during meditation. This seemingly small moment carried a powerful message about the relationship between power, wisdom, and heart – foreshadowing the transformation ahead.Brandon shares candidly about growing up immersed in Mormon culture with pioneer heritage, serving a mission in Brazil, and how he genuinely loved his religious experience until unexpected questions began to surface. The COVID pandemic became a surprising catalyst when church services were suspended. "I didn't miss it at all," he reveals, noticing for the first time how his spirituality had been characterized by constant striving and performance rather than authentic connection.The heart of Brandon's transformation came through redefining love itself. "The definition of love that I thought I knew completely changed," he explains, discovering that true love has no conditions, expectations, strings, or fear attached. This new understanding transformed how he approached his daughter's earlier decision to leave the church and how he navigated his own spiritual metamorphosis.Using the butterfly's lifecycle as a powerful metaphor, Brandon describes feeling like he was "melting into goopy, slimy something" during his crisis of faith – a necessary dissolution before emergence. He offers practical guidance for those supporting loved ones through spiritual transitions, emphasizing curiosity over judgment: "Don't say 'I'll pray you'll come back.' Instead, try 'I'm curious about your experience.'"Whether you're experiencing your own spiritual evolution, supporting someone who is, or simply fascinated by the human journey of transformation, this conversation offers compassionate insights into navigating change while maintaining connection. Join us next time as we explore attachment versus authenticity, and how our attachments to beliefs can prevent us from living authentically.

What happens when your entire identity, community, and sense of safety is wrapped up in a belief system you can no longer embrace? Darci Burke opens her heart in this deeply moving conversation about leaving Mormonism—a faith that had been her foundation since birth.The journey begins when Darci and Brandon's teenage daughter courageously questions the Mormon faith, planting the first seed of doubt about eternal families and divine judgment. "Would God really separate my family because people believe differently?" This question launches Darci into a profound examination of her spiritual identity, eventually following her husband Brandon's path of questioning church history and doctrine.This isn't a story about religious criticism—it's a deeply human account of what happens when we allow ourselves to trust our inner knowing, even when it leads us away from the safety of familiar structures. Darci shares the terror of rebuilding her worldview while simultaneously facing judgment from her community: "You're also having to fear the judgment of other people... is my community still going to accept me now that I believe differently?"The most beautiful revelation emerges as Darci describes how their family has transformed through this process. Rather than tearing them apart, embracing authentic spirituality has created deeper connections. The family now engages in open spiritual discussions where all viewpoints are honored, fostering critical thinking and genuine connection. "That type of vulnerability with each other and openness and authenticity—the byproduct of that is connection."Darci closes with a powerful letter to her former church, acknowledging both gratitude for what it gave her and grief for what it took away. "Leaving you rewired everything, not just my beliefs but my nervous system... But in all of that grief I found God, not in a steeple, not in a temple, but in my breath."If you're questioning your spiritual path, navigating a mixed-faith relationship, or simply curious about the human capacity for growth through challenging transitions, this episode will touch your heart and perhaps give you permission to trust your own inner wisdom.[00:00:00] Intro[00:11:00] Attention to Detail in Marriage[00:16:45] Context for Discussing Mormonism[00:26:47] Daughter's First Questions[00:35:43] Seeds of Doubt Begin[00:43:43] Wrestling with Church History[00:53:57] When Families Believe Differently[01:03:11] Navigating Mixed-Faith Parenting

What happens when you discover your ladder of success is leaning against the wrong wall?In this pilot episode of Safe to be Seen, hosts Brandon and Darci Burke share their raw journey from outward success to inner authenticity. Brandon opens up about battling severe depression despite appearing to "have it all," while Darci reveals how somatic healing transformed her relationship with her own body.🎯 Key Topics:• From fixed mindset to growth mindset: embracing the beginner's journey• The hidden cost of perfectionism and people-pleasing• How vulnerability creates unexpected human connections• Somatic practices for healing depression and anxiety• Navigating major life transitions (including leaving high-control religions)• Building authentic relationships with yourself, your partner, and your childrenWhy This Matters: If you've ever felt like you're living someone else's version of success, struggling with anxiety or depression, or going through a major life transition, this conversation offers hope and practical insights for finding your authentic path.Coming Next: How leaving Mormonism became a catalyst for healing and the specific steps that transformed their mental health journey.Safe to be Seen is for anyone ready to drop the mask and discover what's possible when you feel truly safe to be yourself.