Sex in the Cinema

If there’s one film that set tongues (literally) wagging this year, it’s the latest adaptation of Emily Brontë’s masterpiece of gothic fiction, WUTHERING HEIGHTS.  Directed by one of cinema’s most de rigueur darlings, Emerald Fennell, WUTHERING HEIGHTS showcases Fennell’s trademark maximalism, bold subversiveness, and canny eye for visual magic tricks. The formula should have been a perfect match of fiction and filmmaker. So why did it leave us feeling kind of… meh?  SITC all-star guest star Cecilia Conti and special guest Josh Reinhold join Torie to hash out their feelings about Fennell's new take on Brontë’s classic. And honestly, the film reads more like a smut fanfiction or two-hour music video than a true-to-text take on a venerable and deeply complex work of literature.  Starring Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi as doomed lovers Cathy and Heathcliff, Fennell’s sex-ed up rendition is more style than substance. All the same, the candy-coated visuals are glorious, the metaphors are ripe, and the acting ain’t half bad. The sex itself is decidedly PG-13, but it was enough to confirm that Jacob Elordi is very much most likely a damn good kisser.

This is the final boarding call! The SITC submarine is departing port for one more journey 20,000 leagues under the sea. This time, the tentacular, mighty Poseidon of masculinity, King Triton, wields his whale dick, effectively blasting us with oozing gallons of salty sea.  Creator of the Hyperreal Film Journal and critic, Ziah Grace, joins Torie below deck to dissect Robert Eggers’s ferociously homoerotic, abrasively bleak masterpiece of cinematography, THE LIGHTHOUSE (2019).  Starring Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattisson as one of the greatest “odd couples” to ever grace 35 mm, this claustrophobic meditation on Sartre’s existential idiom “hell is other people,” is packed with alpha/beta power dynamics, a yonic/phallic(!!) lighthouse, perverted seagulls, and enough masturbation to generate a Sperm Whale’s worth of ejaculate. These gents have No Exit, and, for one hour and 50 minutes, neither do you.  Get ready for an onslaught of girthy tentacles, depressing orgasms, alcoholism, gaslighting galore, and man-on-mermaid action (alongside a very large, anatomically explicit mergina). Other highlights include Torie’s Willem DaFetish and an inevitable discussion of the most fiercely gatekept piece of male anatomy ever to circulate the Hollywood rumor mill. 

Come back aboard the SITC submarine for the next descent into the trenches of taboo, where sexy sea creatures seamlessly seduce bone-headed humans. Captain Torie is joined again by film critic and First Mate, Ziah Grace, for a delightful submersion into one of the best, boldest, and most ingenious takes on The Little Mermaid to ever grace the silver screen: the Polish, punk-rock, Eastern Bloc fever dream, THE LURE (2015).  This is a tale of two sisters: Silver (light) and Golden (dark). After spotting a found family-assembled rock band playing on the shore, these nubile young mermaids each hatch a pair of legs and migrate to the metro-capitalist world of their bipedal contemporaries. But horny humans beware, pretty mermaids are not mere trifles. Like mankind, they contain multitudes of facets: monster, maiden, lover, killer, seductress, sister… the list goes on. Highlights include kaleidoscopic musical numbers, creature feature-worthy and subversively girthy tails, accurately fishy vaginas, the intersection of female body politics and misogyny, the infatuated euphoria of first love, the tragedy of self-sacrifice, and the sacred bond of sisterhood. Torie also reveals some meta-contextual backstory regarding her musician ex-boyfriends, who bear a striking resemblance to the floppy-haired bass-playing “Prince.”

Hop on the SITC Submarine because we’re plummeting into the watery, murky depths of interspecies sex. This deep blue beyond is where fish and fowl Neptune and chill. For this first journey beneath the waves, Torie is joined by Ziah Grace, Austin Chronicle “Best of Austin”  2025 nominee for Best Film Critic and misanthropic beach boy, to soak in Guillermo del Toro’s 2018 Best Picture Oscar winner, THE SHAPE OF WATER. Prepare yourself for an hour of Siskel and Ebert-coded bickering over a mediocre movie. Highlights include Torie’s monster fetish, Ziah’s impassioned response to an unjust cat murder, a profusion of eggs and egg timers, Torie’s abhorrence for men with long hair, squirting geysers, and Ziah’s supreme vexation over the creature’s phallic AF genitals (the fish dick).  Despite some differences in opinions, both parties agree that Sally Hawkins’s performance was one of Cinema’s all-time best and that Guillermo del Toro robbed his audiences by refusing to give us explicit (yet romantic) fish f**king.

We’ve arrived at the bitter end. Torie and returning special guests Chelsey Morin and Thien-Y Hoang make their final trip to the 50 shades of garbage dump searching for anything of substance in the final installment of this trash film trilogy. Alas, 50 SHADES FREED proves the third time is not the charm.    Sulky sub Anastasia Steele and Dom daddy Christian Grey tie the knot (figuratively, not literally, this time). Their marital bliss is soon interrupted by Ana’s former misogynist boss, Jack, and his desire for vengeance against Christian, which still doesn't make sense, as well as a certain unplanned you-know-what that drives a wedge between Ana and Christian, who proves, even after three insufferable movies, that he remains an unhinged, narcissistic a**hole.       What ensues is two hours of blatant misogyny, buttplug pleasures, adventures on the Aspen club scene, painfully asinine car chases, a kidnapping of Rita Ora, a profoundly obnoxious performance of ”Maybe I’m Amazed,” and the confounding absence of a prenup. And through it all, like some absurd monument to early 00s mallboi masculinity, are Christian’s cherished pair of Hollister Men’s jeans.  

SPOILER WARNING: This episode contains spoilers through the season finale of Heated Rivalry. With the conclusion of Season 1, all us HR fans are sitting and processing our thoughts and feelings about the sleekly operatic, often playful, heart-throbbing, and ingeniously sincere story we just witnessed. Think pieces are bounteous across the editorial planes and the feelings are REAL. Torie and Billy discuss what Heated Rivalry means to each of them, and the deeper societal meaning around the whirlwind impact of this miraculous show.

*Note to the listeners*- For the most pleasurable listening experience, lube up with our January 2024 episode covering Sarah Drew’s A Cowboy Christmas Romance before you tune in. — We’re returning to the 50 Shades of garbage dump soon, but in light of this festive season, SITC all-star guest star, Cecilia Conti, joins Torie to incinerate the most recent(ish) installment of sugar & spice from Limetime™’s own formula-disrupting vixen, Sarah Drew.  Her Cowboy-themed roll in the hay, A Cowboy Christmas Romance, made history as the first Lifetime™ holiday film to feature a “sex scene.” Sarah Drew is back with her sophomore feature that puts the WOOD in woodworking: A CARPENTER CHRISTMAS ROMANCE (2024).   This explicitly My So Called Life-coded narrative follows nerdy(ish) romantasy writer Andrea back to her sort-of hometown, Wildwood, for an unplugged Christmas stay due to a scandalous leak of the final book in her stupid series. To her surprise, she reconnects with Seth, her old, Jordan Catelano-esque but née jock crush, Seth. Complications arise with the presence of Seth’s tenant, Aiko, and her cloying children. Is Seth still a f**kboi or is he a nice guy now?   

SPOILER WARNING: This episode contains spoilers through episode 4 of HEATED RIVALRY   Reference Links: The Rite of Spring: Joffrey Ballet 1987 Rite of Spring (1 of 3) Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun: L'Apres-midi d'un Faune Ballet performed by the Joffrey Ballet

Torie and special guests Chelsey Morin and Thien-Y Hoang return to the 50 Shades of Grey garbage dump for the second installment in this stinking landfill of a film franchise, 50 SHADES DARKER. Don't bother to bring a shovel. After being broken up for 2.5 seconds, newly deflowered Anastasia Steele and hunky millionaire Dom Christian Grey rekindle their love and get into a full-on relationship. As their "intimacy" grows, Anastasia learns more about Christian's dark past and meets some of the (many) skeletons in his closet. What ensues is two hours of even more sociopathic behavior, somewhat less sexy "S&M" sex scenes, a dash of gun violence, a lavish masked ball fundraiser, a pair of Ben Wa balls, even more Hollister men's jeans, poor restaurant etiquette, workplace sexual harassment, and more. We also meet a less-than-colorful cast of new characters, including Christian's former Mommy Dom "Mrs. Robinson," played by Kim Basinger, Anna's misogynistic new boss, Jack Hyde, and one of Christian's former pets/hostages, Leila.  

Welcome back, cinephiles and perverts, and welcome to Season Two of Sex in the Cinema!!! To kick off Season Two, Torie is joined by Angelenos and expert hate-watchers Chelsey Morin and Thien-Y Hoang to demolish the cultural phenomenon that was the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. From its humble beginnings in a Twilight fanfiction forum, to the published printed page, all the way to the silver screen, this gross disservice to the kink community turned on the world. For SITC’s Season Two Premiere, we’re tackling the first installment of the trilogy, 50 SHADES OF GREY. Released in 2015 and directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson (wife of Aaron Taylor-Johnson, mind you), this film launched the careers of usually good actors Dakota Johnson and Jaimie Dornan.   Mousy brunette super-virgin Anastasia Steele’s simple life turns upside down when she meets sexy billionaire (and apparent Never Nude), Christian Grey. Anastasia soon finds out Christian doesn’t do relationships, but he does enjoy “various physical pursuits.” Namely, kidnapping women and coercing them into dom/sub relationships of very questionable ethics.   What ensues is two hours of sociopathic behavior, painful lack of chemistry, horrifically awful dialogue, NDAs and contracts, too many needle drops, countless glasses of unconsumed white wine, mostly vanilla sex, an apparent proclivity for Hollister men’s jeans, a dusting of taboo slap & tickle, one impressive den of iniquity set, and wayyyyyy too many red flags.    So bust out those handcuffs and settle in for the long haul because, in the words of Christian Grey, there’s “no escaping now…”

Fasten your seatbelts, cinephiles, because it’s SITC’s Season 1 Finale! Thanks to a few renegade, paintbrush-wielding perverts from New Hollywood’s anarchic yesteryear, you’re in for a full 411 on some of the most disturbing, disruptive, and innovative works of sketch-to-celluloid since Mickey Mouse first wet his wittle whistle in Steamboat Willie. As of this episode, your childhood nostalgia for Saturday morning cartoons is OVER.  Bored with the pretentious loftiness of his collegiate education, a privileged cat named Fritz acts like an ignorant a**hole who thinks he’s an anarchist in one of the most enduring masterworks of guerrilla satire, FRITZ THE CAT (1972). Don Jurwich, legendary heavyweight at Hanna-Barbera and Marvel Productions (this is not a joke), subverts your favorite fairy tales into gonzo softcore parables that will haunt you for the rest of your life (also not a joke) in the bombastic, cheeky ONCE UPON A GIRL (1976). A peasant woman’s quest for social and sexual freedom is manifested through tragedy, rupture, and rebirth in Eiichi Yamamoto’s kaleidoscopic, transcendent epic, BELLADONNA OF SADNESS (1973).  

Friend of the pod and glamor-trash gay man-about-town Billy Weston joins Torie and Maggie to unpack three of the sexiest, messiest, and most titillatingly trashy erotic thrillers of the 1990s.
 Jessie Spano trades textbooks for stripper poles to dance her way through a 24/7, nipple tweaking tantrum in Paul Verhoeven's infamous, eternally iconic TRASHterpiece, SHOWGIRLS (1995). Neve Campbell and Denise Richards, whose aquatic escapades inaugurated a million Millennial boners, continue to masterfully mindf**k us in WILD THINGS (1998). Sick of bad sex and surmised of murder, smoky siren Linda Fiorentino is suspected by CSI's OG sunglasses guy, David Caruso, in William Friedkin's convoluted, surprisingly sterile flop, JADE (1995).

UPDATE, MAY 2025: This is a re-release of our premiere episode originally published on 8/9/23. As of May 2025, actor Michael Pitt was indicted for horrific sexual and physical abuse suffered by one or more partners. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.   -- Torie and Maggie dive into cinematic rarity of films bold enough to tackle the taboo of full frontal male nudity. Torie has difficulty separating the art from the artist with Vincent Gallo's THE BROWN BUNNY (2003) whereas Maggie mines empathy for toxic masculinity. We celebrate the wonder of prosthetics in Paul Thomas Anderson's BOOGIE NIGHTS (1997), talk twincest (and the double D showcase) in Bernardo Bertolucci's THE DREAMERS (2003), and tackle the ever-burning question - does size really matter? --- UPDATE, MAY 2025: This episode features some panty creaming for actor Michael Pitt, who as of May 2025, was indicted for horrific sexual and physical abuse suffered by one or more partners. At the time of this episode's publication in August 2023, Michael Pitt had history of bizarre explosive behavior spurts like many talented actors ("perhaps the sexy sad boy has untreated mental illness! or addiction! hopefully he figures it out!") but in light of these allegations, his SITC Hall Pass is now officially revoked. We will continue to do our best to separate the art from the artist but unconscionable acts should not be disregarded. We stand with the victims. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.  

SITC is back in the studio with this long-awaited episode covering the softcore juggernaut that is the Emmanuelle film franchise!  Expert Bryan Connolly joins Torie to dissect this smutty phenomenon which is SO expansive and SO diverse, it's basically an ecosystem. From Thailand to Africa, to Outer Space, Emmanuelle knows no bounds. In the original EMMANUELLE (1974) starring Sylvia Kristel, we watch Emmanuelle the girl become Emmanuelle the woman thanks to a few trips to the Mile High Club and guidance from a mansplaining creep named Mario. We take a detour outside of official Emmanuelle "canon" with EMANUELLE AND THE WHITE SLAVE TRADE (1978), one of the many (and one of the best) ripoffs that make up the multifaceted Emmanuelle universe. Starring Laura Gemser, Emanuelle with One M is a slick and ambitious journalist with the savvy and sexual appetite to rival James Bond. We conclude our journey with the first installment of Emmanuelle's Skinemax/ straight-to-video era, EMMANUELLE: FIRST CONTACT (1994). Starring Krista Allen, Emmanuelle takes her sage-like knowledge of sex to outer space where she educates hunky alien Haffron and his brethren about the joys and politics of human sexuality.    — Bryan Connolly is a writer and filmmaker in Austin, TX. Thanks to a lifelong obsession with the Emmanuelle films, his encyclopedic knowledge has cemented him as a de-facto Emmanuelle expert. Bryan has contributed to Severin Films' Black Emanuelle Box Set, the Emmanuelle comic book series from Fantagraphics, and is currently writing a colossal tome covering every Emmanuelle movie ever made. Bryan's cinema expertise also extends well beyond the boundaries of Emmanuelle. He is the co-host of the podcast The Directors Wall alongside A.J. Gonzalez, the author of Destroy All Movies: The Complete History of Punks on Film, a feature filmmaker, and much more.  LINKS! Listen to The Directors Wall podcast here! Check out Bryan's feature film MAKE POPULAR MOVIES free on Tubi here! Snag a copy of Bryan's book Destroy All Movies: The Complete History of Punks on Film on eBay for a mint here!

Torie and Maggie go full-on Siskel and Ebert for this special episode reviewing Nicole Kidman's latest in a series of steamy, psychosexual cinematic narratives, BABYGIRL. Torie hated it and Maggie loved it but both ladies agree this flick with a feminist bent made a valuable contribution to the conversation around women, age and sexuality (aka debunking the myth that women become sexless empty vessels as soon as the baby farm closes).    PS - follow Torie on Letterboxd @Torie88 !!

Awards season is here is SITC is kicking off 2025 with our inaugural *AFTERGLOW AWARDS*!! With winners selected from the pool of every film covered on SITC to date, all winners of these prestigious awards have been carefully chosen by an esteemed panel of two (aka us). We also go into some long tangents around NOSFERATU, THE BRUTALIST, and movie theater hot dogs.   Check out the categories below and tune in to reveal the winners of ! - Best Sex Scene in a Motion Picture Hottest Actor in a Motion Picture Hottest Actress in a Motion Picture Hottest Couple in a Motion Picture Best Unconventionally Hot Sex Scene in a Motion Picture Best WTF Unsexy Scene in a Motion Picture Best Masturbation in a Motion Picture Best Full Frontal in a Motion Picture Best Orgasm in a Motion Picture Sexiest Sound in a Motion Picture

Happy Yule, cinephile freaks! This holiday season we're celebrating the Winter Solstice in this very special episode starring wonton, willful and wonderful witches! Self help goes lethally awry in Anna Biller's ingenious meta-Technicolor treasure THE LOVE WITCH (2016). Sexploitation is style over substance in the VIRGIN WITCH (1972). Cinematic art finds a new masterstroke in the haunting, enigmatic (and f**king awesome) folk horror fable HAGAZUSSA (2017).     

Trigger Warning: Please be advised this episode includes explicit discussion of sexual abuse and assault. This is a really tough one so tune out and take care if you need to <3  For the penultimate episode of 2024, we're kicking off our mini director retrospective series. Our first entry delves into modern cinema's ultimate Master of Macabre, David Lynch.  Baby talk reaches a new level of unacceptable foreplay in BLUE VELVET (1986). Nicolas Cage and Laura Dern burn hot in WILD AT HEART (1990). Naomi Watts has the ultimate career breakout role in the dreamlike hate letter to Hollywood, MULHOLLAND DRIVE (2001).  

SITC is back with a new installment of Uncut and Unrated - extended "director's cuts" of some of our favorite episodes. FRATBOY F**KERY, our episode discussing a trio of "boys will be boys" blockbusters, returns to manspread its dick tentacles all over the airwaves. The original cut of this episode was released in April 2024 but the collective ethos of these misogynistic trash fires is now distinctly timely.  Tune in for previously unreleased deep cuts about Doug Kenney and the birth of The National Lampoon, another cringeworthy tale about Torie's adolescent pervy playacting, and much more.  Keep your eyes peeled and your ears open for all-new episodes including the first installment of our Director Retrospective series and our upcumming holiday special! --- Trigger warning: this episode discusses themes of sexual and verbal assault, rape, and body shaming. Welcome to the black hole of misogyny where "boys will be boys" and fratboy mentality reigned supreme to brainwash multiple generations.   Torie struggles to kill her darlings in the National Lampoon classic ANIMAL HOUSE (1978). Kim Cattrall is the only saving grace in the postulating butt boil that is PORKY'S (1981). Witness the birth of virtual assault and revenge porn in the generation-defining Y2K flick, AMERICAN PIE (1999).

SITC is back with the long-awaited second installment of our horror series just in time for Halloween. Hot or not? You decide.  Body horror brings on the heat thanks to Jeff Goldblum's insectile sex symbol Seth Brundle in David Cronenberg's classic remake of THE FLY (1986). Julie Christie and Donald Sutherland prove graphic sex can have narrative value in Nicolas Roeg's enigmatic meditation on grief DON'T LOOK NOW (1973). Mia Farrow gets down with the devil and suffers the ultimate perversion of pregnancy in Roman Polanski's legendary ROSEMARY'S BABY (1968). 

Can AI offer humans genuine connection? Can AI be trusted? It is worth it to bang a bot?!? Tune in for SITC's most thought-provoking episode to date in which Torie and Maggie disagree A LOT. Oscar Isaac's misogynist tech bro gets served by the scariest sexbot of all time in Alex Garland's masterfully character-driven psychological mindf**k EX MACHINA (2014). A mustachioed Joaquin Phoenix turns up the heat with Manic Pixie Dreambot Samantha in Spike Jonzes's insufferably twee but undeniably poignant romantic classic HER (2013). John Malkovich charms as a wacky, well-endowed robot in Susan Seidelman's darling diamond in the rough MAKING MR. RIGHT (1987). 

Returning special guest Cecilia Conti joins Torie and Maggie to discuss three eminent coming of age narratives with some solid silver screen sex.  Cringe comedy has integrity and dick poking gets literal in TURN ME ON, GODDAMMIT/FÅ MEG PÅ, FOR FAEN! (2011), a Norwegian hidden gem Torie incorrectly refers to as Swedish. Horney men run amok and Torie fails to distinguish Italian character names in Bernardo Bertolucci's mid-90s Liv Tyler flick, STEALING BEAUTY (1996). Cinema's most legendary ménage à trois crowns the gut-wrenchingly moving, multi-layered masterwork Y TU MAMÁ TAMBIÉN (2001). Bonus - Cecilia shares her story of meeting Diego Luna who, we are thrilled to report, is genuinely a sweet guy!!

Quick note for our listeners. Apologies for minor technical issues, we recorded this "campfire episode" during a power outage on the first day of Mercury in Retrograde. Also, trigger warning for a brief mention of suicide in our coverage of the first film.  As we round out the summer, SITC is setting the scene on theme with three films featuring sex on the beach (coitus, not cocktails).  Torie and Maggie kick off with the Brooke Shields blockbuster and kissing cousin's classic THE BLUE LAGOON (1980). Maggie is thrilled with Torie's burgeoning bi-sexuality specific to the one Phoebe Cates in the atrocious Blue Lagoon ripoff, PARADISE (1982). Throuples and lizards run rampant on the island of Santorini in SUMMER LOVERS (1982) starring a young Daryl Hannah and Peter Gallagher. 

Holy tits! It's SITC's one-year anniversary!!! To mark this momentous occasion, we're covering three (markedly more) momentous classics of lesbian cinema. Barren deserts and parched pussies get WET in the moving indie darling DESERT HEARTS (1985). Female pentathletes engage in erotic arm wrestling in PERSONAL BEST (1982). Torie and Maggie color commentate seven minutes of male gaze-infested f**king in the Palme d'Or-winning masterpiece, BLUE IS THE WARMEST COLOR (2013). 

From love letters to love poems to lyrical Venetian rap-battles, these three historical dramas put the PEN in penis.  Jude Law makes a lot of noise playing a man of few words in COLD MOUNTAIN (2003). Verses get venereal in DANGEROUS BEAUTY (1998). Theatre once again proves its inherent queerness in SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (1998). 

Welcome to Uncut and Unrated, SITC's version of the re-release. Instead of a straight up re-post of an older episode, we're giving you the podcast equivalent of a Director's Cut. SITC Uncut and Unrated includes everything we would have kept in - the digressions, the truly cringe-worthy anecdotes, and the content our paranoia convinced us would get us cancelled. LISTEN AT YOUR OWN RISK.  In the meantime, SITC is banking content like good little podcasters. Keep your ears open and your eyes peeled for all-new episodes dropping soon! We hope you enjoy the Uncut and Unrated version of Religious and Raunchy, one of our favorite episodes to date.  ---- Heresy alert! Please be advised this episode contains some serious sacrilege. Maggie drools over Gael Garcia Bernal in THE CRIME OF PADRE AMARO (2002). Torie gets a little (way) too excited about THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST (1988). Maggie gags on her sandwich during THE NAME OF THE ROSE (1986), whereas Torie finds an unexpected new crush. 

Trigger warning: this episode discusses themes of sexual and verbal assault, rape, and body shaming. Welcome to the black hole of misogyny where "boys will be boys" and fratboy mentality reigned supreme to brainwash multiple generations.   Torie struggles to kill her darlings in the National Lampoon classic ANIMAL HOUSE (1978). Kim Cattrall is the only saving grace in the postulating butt boil that is PORKY'S (1981). Witness the birth of virtual assault and revenge porn in the generation-defining Y2K flick, AMERICAN PIE (1999).  

Okay, guys we hear you! Get ready to sweat and make those panties wet because we're covering SALTBURN.   This kaleidoscopic fever dream of millennial nostalgia has it all - full frontal fabulousness, fresh talent, eyeball-blisteringly hot sex and good f**king writing. From red wings to grave digging of a different color, this 2023 gem is a new classic. 

Torie and Maggie take a nostalgic trip back to the movies that not only made us (cum) but also shaped the hormones of an entire generation.  Brace yourself for some awkward adolescent anecdotes, friends. The cringe-factor of this episode gives PEN15 a run for its money. Torie shares some borderline illegal memories about her pre-teen attempts to reenact  one scene in particular from TITANIC (1997). Maggie re-experiences all the feels from Allie and Noah's oh-so-real romantic dynamic in THE NOTEBOOK (2004). Maggie recounts her bisexual awakening and Torie once again risks alienating our listeners with CRUEL INTENTIONS (1999).      

We're taking a detour to the BOOB TUBE for this very special episode! Lifetime™ made history last month with a first-ever SEX SCENE in one of their crap holiday films. In honor of this milestone, we indulged the sugar and spice with A COWBOY CHRISTMAS ROMANCE . Special guest Cecilia Conti joins to rip apart this trash fire of a film that's complete with all those Lifetime™ tropes you know and love plus some solid PG-rated content. Get ready to giddy up and take a roll in Fifty Shades of Hay. 

Trigger warning: bodily functions and hedonism ahead! Torie and Maggie revisit monochrome color palettes and smirking toxic seduction with 9 1/2 WEEKS (1986). Both ladies are left traumatized following their first watch of LA GRANDE BOUFFE (1973) and then rescued by the effervescently sexy and incomparably charming, TAMPOPO (1986). 

Some things are too good to keep tight so we pulled a Scorsese. Come sink your teeth into this supersized second installment of our Lesbian Vampire series. Titties get top billing and Torie meets her redhead arch nemesis in THE VAMPIRE LOVERS (1970). Male-female gender politics get fascinating treatment in the French gem FASCINATION (1979). The (un)holy trinity of hotness - David Bowie, Catherine Deneuve, Susan Sarandon - deliver a (sac)religious viewing experience in THE HUNGER (1983).

Lesbian Vampires embody many things - beauty, ruthlessness, man-hating and the lustful intensity of a thousand Scorpios. They also have killer wardrobes (pun intended).  Torie and Maggie take their first bite into gratuitous sexploitation marred by a male victim's confusingly cringeworthy kissing in VAMPYRES (1974). They witness the most concentrated representation of Power Scorpio energy in cinema history with VAMPYROS LESBOS (1971) and low-key fetishes for true crime in DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS (1971).

Torie and Maggie take another deep dive into the wide world of D on film (aka full frontal male nudity). Maggie gets triggered by memories of her mom's TMI obsession with Richard Gere in AMERICAN GIGOLO (1980). Torie is rendered speechless by Michael Fassbender's well-endowed biology in SHAME (2011). Both ladies revisit and revel in the glitter-infused, glam rock fever dream VELVET GOLDMINE (1998) starring Ewan McGregor's you know what...

Heresy alert! Please be advised this episode contains some serious sacrilege. Maggie drools over Gael Garcia Bernal in THE CRIME OF PADRE AMARO (2002). Torie gets a little/way too excited about THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST (1988). Maggie gags on her sandwich during THE NAME OF THE ROSE (1986), whereas Torie finds an unexpected new crush. 

Torie and Maggie explore the dark corners of paraphilia within the horror film genre. We encounter MedFet and necrophilia - not to mention some notable foreplay - in RE-ANIMATOR (1985), extreme "tree hugging" in THE EVIL DEAD (1981), and blood play seduction from the OG undead lothario in BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA (1992).

Welcome to Sex in the Cinema, the podcast that strips away the celluloid to the REAL reason you watched that movie.  Join your hosts Torie and Maggie - both cinephiles and proud horndogs - as they penetrate the annals of sex scenes in film - the good, the bad, the sexy and the seriously WTF un-sexy. The diverse spectrum of sex in cinema is pretty much an infinite climax.  Follow us on Instagram at @sexinthecinemapod Reach out to us at [email protected] Extra credit viewing: Brainwashed: Sex-Camera-Power directed by Nina Menkes Artwork by Maggie Mae Martine