soulOtonin

We can get soOO swirled🌪️ up in excitement about finally attempting to make a massive shift in our paths…that we blindly and disconnectedly go full force into a path, venture, or process that possibly worked for others or was advertised to “change your life”..So of course we pounce, announce, and hope for the best.. Until quite quickly we seem to confusingly crash and burn before we barely even begin.. 🫠ORRR,We can be sooo afraid of the idea of possibly becoming what we “desire” to be… Because wtf even is that? 😳We think-what am I passionate about, I don’t feel passion for anything? Gifts-what gifts? Why do I not feel gifted or good at anything? Strengths, what strengths? What lights me up and fills me up- I don’t fucking know..Do I even have a purpose here? Am I supposed to know? How do other people friggin know?😩And then we sit in a swirling pool of confusion, shame, and embarrassment, feeling lost and alone and just wanting to get sucked down into a sinkhole until clarity and answers make their way down to us and we can show our faces with an ounce of confidence again..I. FEEL. YOU.I’ve been there.Flailing around in my disconnected energy and attempts..seeking answers to help me correct it all..But always finding myself sorting through the generic guidance and spiritually bougie bullshit , always coming up short and feeling like fool.😔When you’re trying to change your life but can’t find the damn handbook ..you seek out answers anywhere and everywhere.But sifting through the surface level sameness and guru gloss talk can be exhausting and defeating and leaving you exactly where you began.😩🥺If you’re like me, you crave DETAILS.And you need motherfckin EXAMPLES. LOTS of examples.You need it broken down to you toddler-style. Blatant. .Digestable.. Igniting your curiosity and self exploration instead of fueling your confusion.✨So my little love-nuggets! Allow me to shine some light down your tunnel of turmoil, and help you connect to your process and progress a tad bit smoother than the slop-a-doodle-shitshow I went through. Get strapped in for a cuddle puddle with his episode! It’s a butt-load longer than your average attention span.. heehee😘 😘

The crumbling. The collapsing. The falling away of people, places, and things. Things in your world aren’t crumbling because the Universe is punishing you…Your soul is craving growth and summoning you.🔥💖In my own seasons of dissolve, I spent years ( geezuz, right?) waiting around for things to hopefully come back to me, for me to feel worthy of others love again, and to receive clarity around wtf was wrong with me and what was I doing WRONG to seemingly keep getting kicked in the back of the knees again and again..I allowed myself to become absorbed in the “why” of everything falling away and put the majority of the blame on myself (and some on others), even though I couldn’t understand it from any angle anyways..I degraded myself so much that wasn’t able to move forward in much of anything.. All passions and pursuits were put on pause as I patiently waited for others and other things to “come around”. To truly see me. To truly hear me. To love me unconditionally and not expect “old Sarah” from me. But they didn’t.And that’s okay.🧡But it wasn’t until I woke up and realized that everything and everyone was still continuing on in the game of life and in what they wanted to do-all while I was permanently putting my life on pause waiting around for who knows what to come back..I gave in to distraction and defeat and days on days of unexpected depression.. for longer than I wish I had.. but it’s all okay because the beautiful thing is.. I FINALLY CAME BACK TO ME.I was provided such depth, space, and isolation that would finally push me to the edge, and provoke me to return to MYSELF. Because if we can’t manage to pour into ourselves, we can’t truly pour into anyone else.Let alone tap into our destiny..Our souls are not here to be daily doormats for others priorities, roles, emotions, and expectations.Our souls are here to honor OUR OWN growth.First and foremost.And when we can’t manage to get there ourselves, our souls will create little collapsings all around to help initiate it.So open up to the crumbling my loves- you’re not crazy or alone, I promise😘😘

Sometimes we can feel like we’re the only one unfolding like a spiritual disaster in our soul journey..And that ..can make us feel like shit. It can make us contemplate our existence and purpose here. Like why aren’t we getting it “right”? And sometimes we can even find ourselves getting sucked into depressed states like quicksand. (But wait Shhh, is that allowed when you’re “spiritual”?)But what we forget, is that ALL OF IT, is part of the journey. OUR unique journey. And that our journeys and our selves are not gonna look like everyone else’s filtered illusionary social media journeys and how they portray and present themselves. There is ALWAYS messiness along with the MAGIC.✨🧹And there is always AUTHENTICITY required for our souls to heal, grow, and thrive.Yet we can easily slip into the spiritual roles and facades we think we need to play, because we constantly see it stereotypically portrayed as the common way.But THAT, only takes us away from ourselves and creates discord with us.Being “spiritual” already issss YOU. 💅🏽🦄So if you being truly you looks like some sexy, saucy, siren.You do you.If it looks like some nerdy, studious, book-nook babe..You do you.If it looks like some down to earth, driven dude…You do you.If it looks like some funny, firecracker, unfiltered femme..You do you.If it looks like some wooey, witchy woman..You do you.If it looks like some woodsy, earthy, rugged man..You do you.If it looks like some fun, fiery, fruity fellow..You do you.If it looks like some peaceful, calm and collected, put together person..You do you. 😮‍💨Your highest truth will never feel like something you’re not. It will never make you feel like poo.Sometimes it just takes us a little journey and Higher reminder to get back to YOU.I caught myself swapping my silly and sarcasm for spiritually stale and stoic.What a garbage trade-off.Barf.And Adios. ✨Where are you slipping and trading your authenticity for an approved stereotypical role?

* I want to preface this by saying that this episode is for ALL who are open to it , there are no exclusions, and you’re always invited to absorb whatever you may be open to receiving from my words, and ALL episodes.✨XOSo Sometimes in life we can feel like we get the shit end of the stick.. We feel like oddballs, weirdos, misunderstood, and like we never truly “fit in”…We feel confused or ashamed that we don’t seem to automatically operate like everyone else, dress the same, talk the same, want the same things in life..And why does it feel like others are flowing and chilling when we seem to get all the challenges , obstacles, trials and tribulations served up to us on a daily silver platter? 🫠Why do we seem to feel so deeply and yet so differently..Why do we crave or create what seems to be complexity in everything ,compared to others ways of living?Why can’t we be okay with just following the trends, committing to common careers, sticking to superficial small talk, pretending to be oblivious to inner wounds and wants and enabling family trauma and drama…Why can’t we just be okay with people pleasing and expectation meeting, and living surface level lives that are socially accepted, approved, and praised because hey..everyone else is doing it.Well…We just can’t my loves.Our souls pre-planned it this way.And it’s nothing to be ashamed of or to fall victim to.It’s a goshdamn honor.✨So whether you are just now realizing you’re the little black sheep …Or maybe you felt it all along but have been denying yourself the experience by pretending to be little Miss Basic Bo Peep..You’re neither right nor wrong. Or late or behind.You are waking up to your deeper purpose, path, and power and YOU ARE RIGHT ON TIMEEE🧡✨

Pardon my GIANT PODCAST PAUSE… lol. I had a reflection and redirection unfold! Oopsies—>daisies. And now, all is great and good in the spiritual podcast hood! There’s always POWER IN THE PAUSE.. never be afraid to allow it;) Excited AF for my powerful redirect!! ANDDD for the next episode! Only making this thing better babyyy😍 🔥 💫✨✨

Sometimes, when we are all doey-eyed and excitedly following our intuition, we assume or expect things to immediately “work out” the way we think they should.. But unless you’re vibrating at the frequency of Buddha or Jesus, things aren’t gonna go exactly as planned.. lol But yet, somehow… It always ends up being exactly what we NEED. ✨Here’s how I went from being innately lit up in the life for the first time (to start a new path) … To then crashing and burning my new business, bank account, mental health, and almost everything in between. And then how I came back, but as the new TRUE version of me✨✨ Enjoy! -As always, transparently sharing the shiz most won’t tell ya😉

Sick of being surrounded by all the fakeness and false advertising in everyone and everywhere you go? Everyone seems to be preaching authenticity, but yet who’s truly embodying it? The realness is-that most of us don’t even really know how inauthentic we’re being. It’s kinda like the liar-friend or liar-family member you know that doesn’t even know what’s real anymore because they’ve told so many lies and have had to maintain a false role for so long… they just keep going because it’s too “defeating” to turn back, even though they’re burnt out and exhausted and feeling empty as hell inside. Yah it’s kinda like that. But with us. Except we’re not nearly as aware because we’re not lying that bad. Not even close. So maybe we don’t think we’re lying at all. But we are. We’re just lying to ourselves. I definitely was. And funny enough, I thought I was the most authentic person on the planet, growing up and into my early adulthood..lol That was my even my “thing”. But holy bologne (funny how that rhymes and is spelled so weird, lol).. when I finally started waking up to what authenticity REALLY is.. POW. shit got real. And got WAY better. In a liberating-as-hell kinda way. Join me on this one😘

Ohh the delicate dance of feeling like a powerful soul one day, and a human failure the next.. lol. Geezuz. When the excitement wears off and the mind begins to take over, shit starts to get a lil fugly.. lol. Isn’t it pretty wild that we WILLINGLY deny ourselves so much joy of WHAT COULD BE, just because we think it may not unfold perfectly, or because we’re afraid we may look silly or stupid to others….Imperfect. Not brilliant. Not good enough. Not completely having our shit together. Not “succeeding” right away or measuring up to others standards of success. So we’d rather not risk anything at all and just stay comfy in the mundane, or worse the misery, so we continue to do the same things day in and day out instead. Gosh dammit we are here to live FULLY. Not half-assfully and unfulfillingly. We need to stop being scared little betches. It’s me. I’m betches. Lol. And maybe you too;) ✨ The second half of the episode is the juiciest btw, so keep going;)

At what point did we decide adulthood had to consist of losing the fulfillment and fun, the play and creativity, and the joy of being purely and boldly US… When did we decide we had to follow an order of life events to fit in, adhere to lives of busyness and appointed roles and routines, and to measure ourselves accordingly to outdated standards of success? When did we decide living these robotic existences… doing the daily tasks, holding onto the same mundane jobs, slumping around in the draining relationships, continually committing to the roles and duties we play and take care of.. Living for the the yearly vacation (if we even get one) and the weekends (if we don’t work them)… What if, life is meant to operate in a higher vibe? A playful one? An unscripted and unexpected one? One that fills your heart and excites your spirit, one that fuels your passions and blows open the doors to your abundance? One that feels yummy and deeply purposed, adventurous and opportunistic? Would you come play? Well that’s what we’re talking about today. Join me:)

One day I got sick of my own shit around this speaking thing..telling myself why I can’t, why I am not good enough or ready enough, or “qualified” enough..so I went ahead and just friggin went for it. Frankly, I just got just so tired of everyone feeling like we all have to take life so rigidly and seriously aka “adulting”. Or basically omitting the idea of creativity and fun and never facing our fears or leaning into our soul curiosities.. Or feeling like we have to dim our authenticity to appease others…Or cling to certain labels and roles and images to feel seen, heard, or to be enough or to fit in… I got sick of hearing that our quirks or features are somehow proclaimed flaws in this societal measuring system… I got sick of feeling like we have to play by specific life rules and make certain things happen in specific timelines all while we simply dismiss our dreams and desires because they don’t fit into a societal acceptance box with a pretty lil bow. Like fuck off already. For years I was EXHAUSTED trying to make sense of it all, wondering why life was like this. Segregated. Fearful. Unfulfilling. Surface level. Mundane. Fake. And then I asked myself-well what if it doesn’t have to be? What if there’s more to this.. I mean.. we ARE souls having a human experience here. And EXPERIMENT is a partial of that word:) What if life…gets to be playful…intuitive..experimental..adventurous..joyful…exciting..freeing.. Was that even possible? Lol To..create a fulfilling life not limited by someone’s old-ass rules, or led by judgements, fear, and others opinions, or those stale one-size-fits all standards and lame expectations.. Barf. What if it gets to be different? LIKE WAYYYY DIFFERENT:) Like a playful experiment of sorts.. Like an experiment where we actually listen to our SOUL instead of our mind that has been force fed bullshit in every direction since we were children. What if we truly get to recreate our lives and live like we’ve never lived before..? And what iffff…someone finally created a podcast to invite you to into that..to empower you to embark into your own journey:) Because let’s face it-this awakening shit can be lonely as hell and pretty dark in the early stages and can get real weird real fast. Lol. And there’s always someone telling you what to do next, where to go, here’s the formula, here’s the key.. yada yada yada like it’s the end-all answer to all your problems. In truth, all of our “formulas” are going to look a hell of a lot different from each others . Because they have to align with each of our unique needs, circumstances, and experiences.. And some will have many many processes to go through and some will have much less. But what’s liberating is that IT DOESN’T MATTER. And that’s what makes the energy behind this podcast so incredible. Nobody has the precise formula or the instant codes that’ll completely alter your entire life in one shot. Sooo you don’t have to panic about getting it “wrong” or doing it fast enough. Whatever path unfolds is what is meant for YOU. And simply cannot hold comparison with anyone else. And this podcast is also a giant reminder that life gets to also be fun, fierce, and freakin beautiful within all the unfolding. And it’s even better when you have a space where you can feel soulfully acknowledged in whatever season of life or soul lessons you are in…helping you feel supported, seen, and not so alone. So! let’s put pause on marinating in any sorts of aloneness or defeat, in feeling lost, confused, or frustrated.. or in feeling like you’re not enough, falling behind, too late, or just feeling like a lil ol’ weirdo.. It’s time to shed your shit, awaken to your truth, and to come freakin PLAY ALREADY!! It’s just a podcast;) …THAT’LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE✨✨